Books With Your Besties – Episode Summary Episode Title: Parenting Styles, Being Annoyed with Ourselves
Hosts: Emily and Ashley
Release Date: November 22, 2024

1. Personal Updates and Daily Life

The episode kicks off with Emily and Ashley sharing updates about their families. Emily mentions that her younger son, Hunter, is sick and has been staying home, highlighting the challenges of managing children’s health.

• Emily (00:34): “Yesterday he woke up and just was, like. Had so much gas in his tummy.”

• Ashley (00:36): “Oh, no, he's sick again.”

They discuss the difficulties in adjusting parents' schedules and routines when children fall ill, touching upon the stress and frustration that comes with such situations.

2. Exploring Parenting Styles

A significant portion of the episode delves into the different parenting styles, emphasizing the importance of understanding and applying the most effective methods to foster well-adjusted children.

Authoritarian vs. Authoritative Parenting

Ashley outlines the primary parenting styles, emphasizing the contrasts between authoritarian and authoritative approaches.

• Ashley (03:17): “Authoritarian is that like, it's my rules, my way or the highway. [...] Authoritative parenting is evidence-based to be by far the most effective.”

Emily shares her personal experiences, illustrating how authoritative parenting, which combines clear rules with high warmth, leads to better understanding and compliance from children.

• Emily (04:45): “If I were to parent my second child that way, whatever I'm telling him not to do, he would do. But when I say to him what you're saying with authoritative, I'm like, no, you can't be pulled on the back of an ATV with skis because it's a danger because of these risks, then he. And he won't because he understands why this rule has been set in place.”

Neglectful and Permissive Parenting

They briefly touch upon the other two styles—neglectful and permissive—highlighting their shortcomings and the potential negative impacts on children.

• Ashley (05:09): “Neglectful or permissive, because you have rules and is permissive. [...] We would lead with the most effective type of parenting, which is authoritative.”

3. Current Events: The Menendez Brothers Case

The hosts transition to discussing the Menendez brothers case, exploring the societal and familial factors that may have influenced the tragic events.

• Emily (07:57): “Kids Hunter's age are on this, like, whole side of TikTok, Instagram that's talking about it. [...] was this really more of, like, a self-defense?”

They ponder whether the abuse and household environment played a significant role, questioning if a more supportive and understanding upbringing could have altered the outcome.

4. Community Interaction: Addressing Sensitive Issues

Emily shares an emotional email from a community member who is hesitant to attend their upcoming retreat due to her son's LGBTQIA identity. This sparks a heartfelt conversation about privilege, safety, and inclusivity.

• Emily (10:09): “She was like, I love everything you guys do. [...] but my son is part of the LGBTQIA community, and right now I'm having to take a firm stance on not traveling to or spending money on states that are not firmly blue.”

Ashley responds with empathy, acknowledging her own privileged position and reaffirming her support for the LGBTQIA community.

• Ashley (11:26): “I am extremely privileged in all of the identity ways, frankly. White, you know, middle class, educated, cisgender, all the things straight. [...] You can't be around those folks and still maintain fear or concern about them because there's nothing scary.”

5. Book Recommendations and Reading Habits

The conversation shifts to their current literary interests, discussing various books and audiobooks they are excited about or have recently enjoyed.

• Ashley (18:33): “The Anxious Generation [...] It is supposed to be very good.”

• Emily (17:39): “Barbara Kingsolver book [...] Demon Copperhead.”

They exchange recommendations, touching upon themes like anxiety in children, true crime, and historical fiction, and share personal anecdotes about their reading habits and preferences.

6. Holiday Plans and Festivities

As the holiday season approaches, Emily and Ashley discuss their plans for decorating, attending events, and managing family gatherings amidst the festivities.

• Ashley (33:32): “We celebrate Christmas in my house and that's fun Thanksgiving food. [...] they're the absolute best.”

• Emily (34:23): “Your lights always look so good with your green garland that you do around your front like porch. [...] how they do it.”

They share decorating tips, their favorite holiday activities, and the challenges of balancing family expectations with personal preferences.

7. Engaging the Community: Future Content Ideas

Towards the end of the episode, Emily and Ashley brainstorm ideas to engage their Patreon community with diverse and interactive content beyond book discussions.

• Ashley (24:43): “One podcast episode we listen to and then talk about it, or a show. [...] Let's ask them who they want to hear about.”

• Emily (26:44): “Yes, I like that idea a lot.”

They propose options like podcast episode reviews, holiday movie nights, cocktail recipes, and Q&A sessions, aiming to create a more dynamic and inclusive experience for their listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Ashley on Parenting Styles (03:17): “Authoritative parenting is evidence-based to be by far the most effective and produce kids with like the best outcomes in all kinds of capacities and ways.”

• Emily on Privilege (12:55): “I'm privileged to live in a place like Oregon. I'm privileged not to have to think about some things.”

• Ashley on LGBTQIA Community (14:28): “You can't be around those folks and still maintain fear or concern about them because there's nothing scary.”

• Emily on Community Member's Email (11:23): “It made me think about the actions people are taking because they don't feel like their kids are safe and that those have to be respected, but it's heartbreaking.”

Conclusion: In this thoughtful episode, Emily and Ashley navigate through personal anecdotes, in-depth discussions on effective parenting, reflections on current events, and heartfelt interactions with their community. They seamlessly blend their love for books with meaningful conversations about family, societal issues, and holiday preparations, offering listeners both entertainment and valuable insights.

For more content and to support the podcast, visit their Patreon page.

Happy reading and listening!