Lucy Hale on Panty-Droppers, Mental Health, and Chakras

Summary

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Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson & Olivia Allen

Episode: Lucy Hale on Panty-Droppers, Mental Health, and Chakras
Release Date: January 2, 2023

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Episode Overview

In this candid, wide-ranging episode, Rachel and Olivia are joined by actress/singer Lucy Hale (Pretty Little Liars, The O.C.) for a funny, honest, and deeply personal discussion. The trio covers dating standards (“panty-droppers”), navigating relationships and self-worth, mental health, boundaries, spirituality, energetic wellness, and the challenges (and growth) that come with being in the public eye. The tone throughout is warm, vulnerable, and at times riotously funny, with all three women reflecting on the lessons learned through their 20s and 30s.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Guest Introduction

• The group pokes fun at gender-neutral nicknames and Rachel’s New Year’s resolution (“My New Year’s resolution is to not change.” – Rachel, [00:19]).
• Lucy Hale is introduced with affectionate teasing about how often she’s told she resembles Rachel and Olivia (“If Rachel and I had a baby, it would be you.” – Olivia, [05:12]).

2. Hygiene, Dates, and Dealbreakers

• The trio swaps stories about deodorant, sweating, and breath on dates:
  • Lucy: "The one thing I cannot un-smell… I can deal with body odor, I can deal with anything, but the breath..." ([03:31])
  • Hilarious anecdote about breaking up with a guy whose breath "tasted like salami" (Rachel, [03:51]), highlighting how seemingly small things can matter in dating.

3. Hollywood Connections & The O.C. Stories

• Lucy shares memories of getting her start in LA, auditioning for The O.C., and her crossover connections with Rachel and Olivia’s world ([05:35]).
• Mutual love for their makeup artist Cindy, who worked on both The O.C. and Pretty Little Liars, is discussed ([07:28-08:17]).
• Reflections on the intensity and blur of working on a long-running show.

4. Rescue Dogs & Celebrity Animal Rescue

• A heartwarming exchange about adopting rescue dogs, particularly Lucy’s dog Ethel (adopted from Wagmore) and Kristen Bell’s role in fostering rescue dogs.
  • “Kristen Bell was fostering the whole litter!” – Lucy ([09:05–10:16])
  • Discussion turns to philanthropies and the joys of animal rescue.

5. The Power (and Confusion) of Words

• The group laughs about language quirks and spelling struggles (“Words are hard, guys. Words are really hard.” – Lucy, [11:31]).
• Funny detour about how people pronounce "caramel" and “pillow,” and how infomercials can influence language ([13:09–14:11]).

6. Dating Apps: The Raya Discussion

• Candid talk about the exclusive dating app Raya.
  • “I thought we weren’t supposed to say it, so people have always... But I love that you just said it.” – Lucy, on being on Raya ([14:43]).
• The reality of seeing exes and friends on dating apps, the drama that can ensue, and setting profile songs.
• Lighthearted riffing on the concept of athletes being overrepresented on Raya.

7. Ideal Partners, Non-Negotiables & Manifestation

• Lucy opens up about her single life, non-negotiables, and how self-respect has raised her standards:
  • “I just have these standards and I refuse to believe that’s not out there. I’m not gonna fucking settle, I’ll die alone before I settle.” ([31:16])
• Manifestation and “lists” for ideal partners (“I have journals where I’ve written out specifically what I’m looking for. I do believe in the power of manifestation.” – Lucy, [31:56]).
• Olivia’s “panty-dropper” requirement: humor (“Make me laugh and I’ll pull down my pants. Panty dropper.” – Olivia, [34:49]).

8. Panty-Droppers, Attraction & Emotional Intelligence

• Group debate on what is truly sexy (the “panty-dropper” quality).
  • “When I find a man who’s so in touch with…all the different layers of yourself, that’s like—fucking hot. I’ll marry you today.” – Lucy ([37:46])
• Importance of curiosity, deep questions, and emotional maturity over small talk in relationships.
• Lucy credits her growth to “undoing” her attraction to “cat and mouse” dynamics and projects.

9. Spirituality, Self-Help, and Chakras

• Deep dive on reincarnation, “soul families,” past lives, and recommended reads (e.g., Many Lives, Many Masters, The Four Agreements) ([20:05–25:08]).
• How these beliefs influence both dating and self-growth.
• Lucy shares her interest in chakras, especially the throat chakra, and how her struggle to speak up led to personal growth.
  • “This necklace has lapis lazuli, for your throat chakra...speaking up for myself and advocating for myself has been a challenge.” – Lucy ([53:45])
• They discuss The Body Keeps the Score and the connection between mind, body, and spirit ([58:22–60:13]).

10. Boundaries, People-Pleasing & Self-Advocacy

• All three talk honestly about learning to set boundaries, especially as women.
  • “You can be kind and have a boundary. It doesn’t mean it’s aggressive… There is a way to deliver truth in a really clear, kind way.” – Rachel ([55:14])
• The challenge of unlearning people-pleasing (particularly coming from Southern culture and Hollywood).
• “Panty-dropper” again used to describe a potential partner’s ability to have strong, clear boundaries.

11. Sex, Relationships & Mental Health

• The conversation turns playful—preferences for morning or night sex and how routine affects intimacy ([62:48–65:12]).
• Lucy and Olivia open up about mental health, their earliest experiences with sadness and “darkness,” and how expectations can lead to shame and guilt ([69:06–70:55]).
• Insightful discussion on the spectrum of emotions and why “being human” means accepting sadness as normal.

12. White Lies, Honesty & Friendship Dynamics

• Debating the social acceptability of white lies:
  • “I think white lies can be okay.” – Lucy ([77:09])
  • Rachel prefers honesty, even if uncomfortable: “If a friend comes to me in earnest and is like ‘have I gained weight?’ and I think they have, I’ll say maybe a little.” ([77:54])
• Playful, loving critique among the hosts around politeness, communication style, and what friendship honesty looks like ([78:28–79:46]).

13. Relationship Dilemmas & Game Segment

• Rapid-fire Q&A segment: Would you marry your late best friend’s husband? How do you feel about partners going to strip clubs? ([85:13–88:42])
• Both Lucy and Olivia admit to having checked a partner’s phone due to lost trust: “You’re only going through your partner’s phone if you don’t trust them… I was right.” – Lucy ([89:57])
• Mary, Berry, One Night Stand (“Fuck, Marry, Kill”) with Travis Scott, Machine Gun Kelly, Ashton Kutcher ([92:32])

14. Closing Reflections: Growth, Presence, and Resolutions

• Extended, often hilarious, brainstorming on New Year’s resolutions involving presence, comfort zones, Google Calendar, and reading books.
• The group commits (jokingly and seriously) to starting a book club ([116:05]).
• Reflections on being present, accountability, and how difficult personal growth really is ([98:50–101:11]).
• Lucy, Rachel, and Olivia emphasize ongoing self-work, the value of therapy, and acceptance of imperfection.

15. Energetic Sex (Call-In Segment)

• Surprise call-in from Jennifer, who describes an “energetic orgasm” experienced during a tantric workshop:
  • “I had an energetic orgasm—no physical touch, it’s all, like, energy through the hands. If you’re open and your partners know what they’re doing, you can feel the energy.” – Jennifer ([127:00])
• The discussion offers a lighthearted, open-minded approach to alternative wellness practices at the tail end of the episode.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On standards in relationships:
  “Someone who’s not self-aware? Bye. Take yourself, there’s the door.” – Lucy Hale ([30:42])

• On learning to speak up:
  “I can still be kind and speak up for myself…realizing both realities can exist together.” – Lucy ([54:58])

• On sadness and being human:
  “Why so many people are over-medicated is because we forget that being a human is all these emotions.” – Lucy ([68:28])

• On honesty vs. politeness:
  “I make it a game with myself—how can I be honest?” – Rachel ([77:16])

• On emotional attraction:
  “Someone who can read the room and is sensitive to other people’s emotions—fucking hot. I’ll marry you today.” – Lucy ([37:46])

• On boundaries:
  “You can be kind and have a boundary. It doesn’t mean that it’s aggressive.” – Rachel ([55:14])

• On energetic orgasms:
  “It literally just happened to me...no physical touch, just energy through the hands. If you’re open, you can feel it.” – Jennifer ([127:00])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:31] - The Breath Dealbreaker & Salami Story
• [05:35] - Lucy's O.C. Story & Hollywood Connections
• [09:05] - Lucy Adopts a Rescue Dog, Kristen Bell’s Role
• [13:09–14:11] - Pronunciation & Word Games
• [14:43] - Lucy Opens Up About Raya
• [25:04–25:08] - Manifestation and Partner "Lists"
• [34:49] - “Make me laugh and I’ll pull down my pants. Panty dropper.”
• [37:46] - Emotional Intelligence as a Turn-On
• [53:45] - Boundaries, Throat Chakra & Self-Advocacy
• [62:48–65:12] - Sex, Intimacy, and Routine
• [69:06–70:55] - Mental Health & Early Sadness
• [77:54] - The Honesty White Lie Game
• [85:13–88:42] - Relationship Scenarios & Strip Club Opinions
• [89:57] - Phone Checking & Trust Issues
• [98:50–101:11] - New Year’s Resolutions: Being Present & Accountability
• [127:00] - Energetic Sexual Experience Call-In

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Tone & Takeaways

The tone is intimate, supportive, and unapologetically real, with plenty of self-deprecating humor and deep dives into both the silly and the sacred. Lucy, Rachel, and Olivia model honest vulnerability about love, boundaries, spirituality, and what it means to grow up as women in the public eye.

For listeners: Expect to feel like you’re eavesdropping on the best kind of late-night, wine-fueled sleepover with friends, coming away with laughs, insight, and perhaps a few new questions to ask yourself in 2023.

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Transcript

[Rachel]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Olivia]

Welcome to Broad Ideas.

[Rob]

Hey.

[Olivia]

Oh, he said hey to me.

[Rachel]

Is it a new year?

[Olivia]

It is a new year. It's a new Rob. Is it a new Lou?

[Rachel]

No.

[Olivia]

Oh, well, you.

[Rachel]

My new Year's resolution is to not change.

[Olivia]

That's the new Lou.

[Rob]

Hey.

[Olivia]

Hey, guys.

[Rachel]

It does sound like a truck driver name.

[Olivia]

Lou.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Lou. L, O, U.

[Olivia]

That was my name. And when I was in Truck, and I was the. I worked at the deli and I was. I was the. Lunch meat Lou. It was Lunch meat Lou.

[Rachel]

That's cute.

[Olivia]

Josh wrote it. I was Lou and I said, hey, give me the Capricola.

[Rob]

I like that both your nicknames are boy names.

[Olivia]

Gender neutral or gender. Sorry.

[Rachel]

Ray and Lou.

[Olivia]

Gender neutral names. Ray and Lou. Yeah, that's true when you're robbing.

[Rachel]

Really original.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

I am kind of obsessed with our guest today. She's the cutest thing in the planet. I mean, she's gorgeous inside and out.

[Rob]

Rachel says that because she gets told that she looks a lot like her.

[Rachel]

Yeah, totally.

[Olivia]

So she's the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life.

[Rachel]

Reminds me of someone.

[Olivia]

Reminds me Olivia.

[Rachel]

I actually said that.

[Olivia]

You said she reminds you of me, and you put together like if we had a baby. Yeah, actually, you're going to hear it because it's coming up. So Lucy Hale. She is a musician, an actress, just a star extraordinaire.

[Rob]

A pretty little liar.

[Olivia]

She's a pretty little liar. Yes. She rose to fame on Pretty Little Liars. She was also on the OC Back in the day.

[Rob]

She played Marissa's sister.

[Olivia]

No, she. Yeah, Marissa's sister, Caitlyn. When she was at boarding school, she played her roommate. She has a new film that is now available to rent, the storied life of A.J.

[Lucy Hale]

Fikry.

[Rob]

Christina Hendricks is in it. Lucy's in it. Kunal's in it.

[Rachel]

I mean, Lucy's in it. We're good.

[Rob]

Especially. Lucy's in it.

[Olivia]

Especially I love Lucy and she loves me. Okay, let's bring Lucy on. Sometimes when the world feels insane, you.

[Lucy Hale]

Can take a little peek inside of Rachel's little bridge. All these thoughts are swirling round and round inside. So join us on this journey as.

[Rachel]

We take a little ride. We'll talk about dogs and kids and things. We'll talk about chicks and tampons strings. We'll talk about boys that'll make you cry. We'll talk about death.

[Lucy Hale]

Cause people die.

[Rachel]

You guys, I already stink. I'm trying to use natural deodorant. And it's awful.

[Lucy Hale]

There's none, you know. Salt and stone.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Have you tried that one?

[Rachel]

No.

[Lucy Hale]

I mean, you still at like 30 minutes later, you're drenched, but it smells like Santal. Okay. They sell it at Erewhon and Whole Foods.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Rachel]

Oh, really?

[Olivia]

It's good.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Olivia]

Like, I always end up being sweat. I'm a bit like.

[Rachel]

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine sweating. I don't want to stink.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

You know? Yeah, I smell.

[Olivia]

Yeah. No, no, that's why you're in the corner, Olivia.

[Rachel]

That's why I'm over here.

[Lucy Hale]

Well, my septum is messed up, so I can't smell anything anyway.

[Rachel]

Good.

[Lucy Hale]

So I smell like menthol and.

[Rachel]

Yeah, that must really show.

[Lucy Hale]

You smell leftover.

[Olivia]

My whole thing is like breath, like on a date, and you're like, what if they have bad breath?

[Lucy Hale]

It's the one thing I cannot un. Smell. So you know what I'm saying? I can deal with body odor. I can deal with anything from the breath.

[Olivia]

I. I hear you.

[Lucy Hale]

Because I feel like. Yeah, no, it's just something.

[Olivia]

It's just something really off putting.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. I once broke up a guy.

[Rachel]

He. I kissed him and it tasted like salami.

[Lucy Hale]

No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Because he was eating salami.

[Olivia]

No, no, dude, if he was eating.

[Rachel]

Salami and it tasted like salami and smelled like salami, that'd be rational, right?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, that'd be like, you ate onions, you smell like onions, you go with it.

[Rachel]

There was no salami.

[Lucy Hale]

But to be fair, I'm saying I'm like, you're unaware. So what other things are you unaware about?

[Olivia]

Oh, God.

[Lucy Hale]

If you're unaware of your bad breath, like, this is a whole. There's a laundry list of things you might not also be aware of, right?

[Olivia]

Yeah. And I feel like that's true with a lot of people because, like, yeah, people will talk behind their back and like, no, they have bad breath, but how do they not know? Or like, if they do know, why do you not always do something about something?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, I mean, no one's perfect, but.

[Olivia]

That'S a big one.

[Rachel]

But there's a big one. Gut issues. Like, there's, like, real reasons, you know, gingivitis, like, it's a real thing.

[Lucy Hale]

It goes beyond just not flossing.

[Rachel]

Right?

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

Yeah, There's.

[Olivia]

I don't floss.

[Rachel]

Do you floss?

[Lucy Hale]

You know what? I do floss. Only because my mom was a big flosser, so I picked up a lot of good and bad habits from both my parents, but the flossing. My mom, I remember her every night, she had it.

[Olivia]

Flossing?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. She made it a priority.

[Olivia]

I always admire that. Cause I just don't have, like, the discipline to floss that much.

[Lucy Hale]

I mean, I'm not doing it.

[Rachel]

You almost. And this is a huge compliment to me. You almost look like if Rachel and I had a baby.

[Olivia]

I'm not.

[Lucy Hale]

Because, like, the eyes, the color.

[Rachel]

Like, if we had a baby.

[Lucy Hale]

That's a huge compliment.

[Olivia]

No, to me.

[Lucy Hale]

To all of us. To all three of us.

[Olivia]

Stroke each other's wieners right now.

[Lucy Hale]

But before. Right before, I was telling you, Rachel. So I moved to LA when I was 15 and so from Tennessee.

[Olivia]

Oh, okay.

[Lucy Hale]

And so this would have been when the OC Was popping. It was huge. The biggest show. And I remember I auditioned for a couple of roles on the OC And I kept, you know, trying to manifest like, I have to be Rachel's little sister. There's gotta be her cousin, something, something. And then I ended up being on the show, but nothing to do with your storyline. Even the creators of the OC Were like, huh, you guys look really similar. But I ended up playing Marissa's younger sister's roommate at boarding school.

[Olivia]

Hadley and I just watched this episode and I text Lucy because, oh, my gosh, she's so fucking cute and, like, so free. And I was just like, it was awesome to see you on it.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, my God.

[Olivia]

Because I know everyone's like, yeah, you know, Lucy was on the OC and because we didn't get to work together, which sucks. I think that we should, like. I don't know if we can go back in time, but. Or do something now.

[Lucy Hale]

Obviously, you're like, summer, no, this is good. This is good. Let's just, like, plan it out. I'm going to play something.

[Olivia]

We'll do something.

[Lucy Hale]

And we're the same height. Are you five? Two?

[Olivia]

Five?

[Lucy Hale]

Two? You're how five?

[Olivia]

Four.

[Lucy Hale]

Five, four. Okay.

[Olivia]

She's got three.

[Rachel]

I'm really tall.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. So tall.

[Olivia]

It's awkward. There's not many of us. There's not many out there.

[Rachel]

What? Shoe size?

[Lucy Hale]

Okay, so it's weird because my feet are shrinking, but I think I'm a solid size six.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

Right now I'm like a five, five.

[Olivia]

And a half tiny. Yeah.

[Rachel]

What are you, seven and a half?

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, great.

[Rachel]

I'm real tall.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Rachel]

She's right. Huge feet.

[Lucy Hale]

Yes. Yeah.

[Olivia]

With massive feet. Yeah. But we were so happy that you're. Come talk to us. I just always, you know, I think the first time I actually met. Was it in the trailer when you were doing Pretty Little Liars? I'm trying to remember, because Cindy, you know, Cindy.

[Lucy Hale]

That was the connection.

[Olivia]

That was the connection. I forgot about this.

[Rachel]

She was.

[Olivia]

Yeah. My makeup artist on the O.C.

[Rachel]

Oh.

[Olivia]

Who I fucking love and adore.

[Lucy Hale]

Shout out to Cindy.

[Olivia]

Shout out to Cindy.

[Lucy Hale]

She was one of the only crew members that stayed throughout the whole entire run. Seven.

[Olivia]

How many? Yeah, how many?

[Lucy Hale]

Seven seasons.

[Olivia]

Holy shit. You did so long. Seven seasons of that.

[Lucy Hale]

It's crazy because I'm so far removed from it now, because it's been about five years. And, I mean, you. You know how it is. It's like all the episodes kind of blend together at some point. Like, I remember the bookends, the beginning and the end, and the middle is kind of a blurry.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

A blurry mess. Not a mess. But they just kind of all blend together. But Cindy, makeup artist on the OC.

[Olivia]

And Pretty Little Liars, she was the.

[Lucy Hale]

Makeup artist, and she always said that we were similar. Yeah, she did.

[Olivia]

And she was like, oh, my God, and I love Lucy and you have to meet her or whatever. And I feel like I walked over one day during her. Maybe that's because you're on the same Warner Brothers lot, right? Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

Well, cool.

[Olivia]

Well, yes.

[Lucy Hale]

So happy to be sitting here with the both of you.

[Olivia]

I know. And, you know, like I said, just. It's been so fun watching you in all of your things and. And you. And one of the funny things was I'm obsessed with dogs. Like, rescue dogs. I have a problem.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Because I'm like. And every time and I get a dog, and I wind up giving them to my mom because, like, I just. I'm so busy. But anyway, I have an obsession, like, on Instagram, all the rescues, and there was, like, this litter of puppies that you. And you got one.

[Rachel]

Oh, my gosh.

[Lucy Hale]

From Wagmore.

[Olivia]

Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, this is so fun. Okay, so I also have a problem with dogs, but a good problem to have, I'd say.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

To want all the animals. My mom took one of my dogs. I only have had multipoos, and so I had a dog named Jack. My mom fell in love with him, so she's had him for 10 years. And now I have Elvis and Ethel, but Ethel is from this rescue, Wagmore, and they knew I was kind of looking for a similar breed to Elvis, and they messaged and said they were saving these dogs from Bakersfield. There's seven or eight of them come by and choose which one you want? So I came over, and I immediately was drawn to Ethel. But here's a funny story about her. So they still needed to be with their mom. And so they needed to be. Is it just called fostering when they're with the mom and someone takes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Olivia]

Fostered, right?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. So I look in my DMs on Instagram, and it's Kristen Bell. And I'm thinking, I've never met Kristen Bell. And I was super excited. She was messaging me, and I open it up, and it's just a photo of her with Ethel. So I'm thinking, she's pimping out.

[Olivia]

Wow.

[Lucy Hale]

So I'm thinking, oh, this is so cool. But, oh, my God, they gave my dog.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Olivia]

This is so cool.

[Lucy Hale]

And then it turned out that she fosters all these animals and was taking care of the whole litter of pups.

[Rachel]

Aw.

[Olivia]

She was.

[Rachel]

She. So she takes the mama, too. And the pupils.

[Lucy Hale]

Foster mama.

[Olivia]

And I bet she's very sweet dog with those. What is she?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, a lot.

[Olivia]

She does. She is the most. I have to say, Kristen, out of. I've known her for a very long time. Like, out of all the people I know does the most philanthropy, like, good in the world. Like, gives back all the animals.

[Lucy Hale]

The people.

[Olivia]

I mean, I could go on and on.

[Rachel]

Did you feel proud of yourself for saying that word correctly?

[Olivia]

What did I.

[Rachel]

You said it really, really effortlessly.

[Olivia]

Do you know, I didn't even know what that word meant. Like, 10 years ago, isn't it.

[Lucy Hale]

You did. Well, you nailed.

[Olivia]

Vocabulary is not my thing. But I did. I said it right.

[Rachel]

You did.

[Lucy Hale]

I was talking with some friends the other day, like, what are the words? I. I always struggle spelling Restaurant every time. I'm like, restaurant. Restaurant and Wednesday. So hard.

[Olivia]

It's very hard. I agree. Yeah. And I take note on my phone. You know how your phone will just automatically spell things for you?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

So I mentally note it. Cause, you know, we have to memorize a lot. So photographically, I look, like, definitely for a long time.

[Lucy Hale]

Defiantly.

[Olivia]

Right. So it's like. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. But that's.

[Rachel]

That's how I am with all words.

[Lucy Hale]

Words are hard, guys. Words are really hard.

[Olivia]

You know what? Words are hard.

[Rachel]

But we do love playing word games.

[Lucy Hale]

Do you like what?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

What do you mean?

[Rachel]

Like what? Like, words that people say. We've done this with Rob where people say, like, how do you say it?

[Jennifer]

Right.

[Rachel]

Really fun. That's.

[Olivia]

Yeah. Like. Well, should I spell it and see how she uses it?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

What's one of the ones I'll spell? You spell?

[Rachel]

Because I'm, like, dyslexic, and I can't.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

It's.

[Rachel]

It's high stakes here, Rob.

[Olivia]

You spell them. I bet you could remember the words. You don't. P I, L, L O W was one P, I, L, L. I'm like, what is it? I know. Pillow.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, but I always think of the commercial. Pillow. Pillow. I can't remember the. It's the infomercial.

[Rachel]

Is it the. My pillow?

[Olivia]

Oh, the. My pillow.

[Lucy Hale]

Wait, how do.

[Olivia]

I actually bought those pillows?

[Lucy Hale]

Really?

[Olivia]

Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

I'm a sucker for any of that.

[Olivia]

So I'm just like, infomercial. Oh, yeah.

[Rachel]

But he kind of went really far into the world of politics, you know?

[Lucy Hale]

I thought you were gonna say into the world of pillows. Yes, he did. No, the.

[Rachel]

My pillow guy went real hard, you know, Rob.

[Rob]

The political feel.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, he's a bad.

[Olivia]

Oh, he's a bad guy. Really?

[Lucy Hale]

Well, I hated that pillow.

[Rob]

Okay, good.

[Rachel]

Let's be honest about it.

[Olivia]

No, I hated it.

[Rachel]

Okay, good.

[Olivia]

Okay. It's awful.

[Lucy Hale]

We hate my pillow. But how do other people say pillow?

[Olivia]

They'll say, like, hello, like, with an.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Awkward, right?

[Rob]

No, I don't remember that being one of them.

[Rachel]

That's one of them.

[Olivia]

It wasn't.

[Lucy Hale]

Hello. Milk. Some people say milk.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Yeah. Milk.

[Lucy Hale]

Milk.

[Rachel]

Milk.

[Olivia]

Milk. What?

[Lucy Hale]

Rob?

[Rob]

C A R A M E L.

[Olivia]

Well, you got to go a little slower, dude.

[Rachel]

What do you think we are.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay, so. So this is a good one. This is a good one. Because there's two types, caramel and caramel.

[Rachel]

That's right.

[Lucy Hale]

But I would say caramel for both of them. But caramel and caramel are actually two different things. One is the candy and one is the liquid.

[Jennifer]

Really?

[Olivia]

Same. They're.

[Lucy Hale]

Which. Yeah. Not sure. Not sure. But it. But I realize. So you're not actually right or wrong. Because they're.

[Olivia]

They're both.

[Lucy Hale]

And then there's also caramel the place.

[Rachel]

But Carmel.

[Olivia]

Carmel, we're going to add a third.

[Lucy Hale]

Caramel. Caramel and Caramel.

[Rachel]

Yeah. So do you say caramel apple or caramel?

[Lucy Hale]

Caramel.

[Rachel]

Oh, you do.

[Olivia]

I say. Yeah, you're saying no matter what you say. Caramel.

[Lucy Hale]

Caramel. For even any.

[Olivia]

Or either. And this is caramel.

[Lucy Hale]

Caramel. Now I'm like, you do? Caramel. Caramel. Caramel.

[Olivia]

Changed it each time.

[Lucy Hale]

This is really riveting stuff.

[Rachel]

Let's just use it naturally in a sentence.

[Lucy Hale]

You're going to order a caramel apple.

[Rachel]

There you Go.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, yeah.

[Olivia]

You. You were true. The whole. You were consistent. Yeah, thanks.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Olivia]

Carmel is a beautiful place to visit, though.

[Rachel]

By the sea. Yeah.

[Rob]

So charming.

[Olivia]

Oh, my God. This is just what we do here.

[Lucy Hale]

We just.

[Olivia]

These are the hard things in life.

[Rachel]

Like, Brad Pitt got a house there, I think.

[Olivia]

Excuse me.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, he did.

[Rachel]

I know. I don't know.

[Lucy Hale]

Good. This is good info.

[Rachel]

I know. This is why. Can I go there?

[Olivia]

Are you on Raya?

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, damn. Going soon?

[Rachel]

Casual question.

[Olivia]

There's a reason why I'm so.

[Lucy Hale]

Yes, Rachel, I am. And it's. I thought we weren't supposed to say it, so, like, people have always. But I love that you just said it.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

Because. Isn't, like, one of the things you're not. It's not.

[Olivia]

It's like a. Yeah, I'm like.

[Lucy Hale]

It's like. Yeah, I'm on Raya.

[Olivia]

My point was somebody. Brad Pitt was on it.

[Lucy Hale]

Well, I'm definitely staying on it now.

[Olivia]

That's the only reason I was asking, because I don't believe. Are you on it? No.

[Lucy Hale]

No.

[Olivia]

Are you? She's married. Okay?

[Lucy Hale]

You're married, so you better not be on it.

[Olivia]

You're trying to convince me to go on it.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay. No, we're. We're going to get you.

[Olivia]

What can you tell me?

[Lucy Hale]

So hopefully the Raya police don't come get me. It's a funny.

[Olivia]

Is it funny like, you sign an NDA or something? Like, what is the deal?

[Lucy Hale]

I guess the thing is, it's for people in the industry. Like, but it's. Yeah, but it's not like I have friends who are on it that aren't really in the industry and.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

You have to get accepted to be on it. It's really silly, actually. But it's fun. Is it fun?

[Olivia]

I feel like it's probably fun just to, like.

[Lucy Hale]

It's a lot of athletes.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Olivia]

That's right. Athletes. Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. I mean, have I met. I've met a few people on it, but I haven't. Nothing serious.

[Olivia]

Nothing serious. Just like, some fun and.

[Rachel]

Do you come across people, you know?

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, yeah.

[Rachel]

Yeah. That's the part that I think with.

[Olivia]

People you either know or have dated.

[Lucy Hale]

You can block people. So if you see someone, you know, you can say, no, block. And they won't see you again.

[Rachel]

Oh.

[Lucy Hale]

Which I've done a few times, which.

[Olivia]

Is like, literally hide and seek. Like, you. You can hide and pop out if.

[Lucy Hale]

You want, and then you can turn it off and on. You can turn your profile off.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

But also, there's been Some drama on there. Because I guess your profile doesn't get deleted immediately. Oh, so if you're dating a relationship, it can, like, somehow stay in the mix?

[Olivia]

They do that on purpose, probably to create some drama.

[Lucy Hale]

But it's fun. And I. I'm excited about this new avenue for you. I think this could be very good for you.

[Olivia]

Well, we've also been trying to get our other best friend on it. Yeah.

[Rachel]

But I think that I. I don't think It's. Okay. No, no.

[Lucy Hale]

4. I'm like, do I fall under the category of people?

[Rachel]

I think Rachel should get on it.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

So if that says anything.

[Lucy Hale]

Yes. I love Rachel. That's very clear.

[Olivia]

I feel like you'd have to hold my hand, though.

[Lucy Hale]

I will hold your hand through the process.

[Rachel]

Pick the pictures.

[Olivia]

That's the only part that sounds fun.

[Rachel]

You get a song.

[Olivia]

Picking a song, you get to.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, my song is stupid. It's been on it for so long.

[Olivia]

What is it?

[Lucy Hale]

10,000 Emerald Pools. I don't even know who.

[Olivia]

You know it. Wrong.

[Rob]

Bourne's song.

[Lucy Hale]

Bourne's. I was gonna say Banks, but Banks is a girl. Borns. 10,000 emerald pools.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

Had the song on there forever.

[Rob]

I think he's been canceled.

[Olivia]

Oh, damn.

[Lucy Hale]

My pillow.

[Jennifer]

My pillow.

[Olivia]

Yeah, whatever.

[Rachel]

Under my pillow.

[Lucy Hale]

Dang. Okay, well, we'll be changing that asap.

[Olivia]

It's hard to keep up with everything that's been canceled. Because everything gets canceled.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Olivia]

So how do you keep up with that?

[Lucy Hale]

I know it's a scary.

[Olivia]

Rob has to tell us everything.

[Rob]

My friend plays guitar for them and. Oh, what a. I was in New York the night he got canceled, going to see them.

[Olivia]

Well, how did happen that night?

[Rob]

It was just the, like, musician allegations where he was talking to underage women.

[Lucy Hale]

Seems to be the thing, huh?

[Rob]

His band all defended him. My friend that's in. His band's a female.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rob]

And his band's all female, so.

[Olivia]

Underage women.

[Lucy Hale]

Speaking of bands.

[Olivia]

Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

Fake bands.

[Rob]

Bourne's is a fake fan.

[Lucy Hale]

No, no, no, no, no. They're a legit man. Daisy Jones and the Six.

[Olivia]

Oh, yeah. Did you read that?

[Lucy Hale]

It's one of my favorite books. Okay. The little teaser came out. Oh, for the show. They did a show or a limited series?

[Olivia]

A limited series.

[Lucy Hale]

And I'm so excited. So it's about a band in the 70s. If you haven't read it, it's so good. And it was one of those books where I was actually devastated at the end because they weren't a real band. And I could go to One of their concerts. But I guess on this show they're gonna do a soundtrack. And Riley Keough plays Daisy Jones.

[Olivia]

Oh, amazing.

[Lucy Hale]

So I'm excited.

[Olivia]

That's so cool. I almost picked it up at the bookstore the other day. Are you like a book, a physical book person or like electronic? Me too. No, I need a real book.

[Lucy Hale]

I need tangible. And there's something so gratifying about closing it, putting it on your bookshelf 1000%.

[Olivia]

I am with you. Yeah, I'm gonna read that.

[Rachel]

How do you feel about people writing in books?

[Olivia]

She has a reason.

[Lucy Hale]

I feel like you hate it. I feel like you're pissed about it. No, no, no, no. You know what? I. I read quite a few self help spiritual books, and so I. I will highlight and note.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

So I'm pro writing books.

[Rachel]

How do you feel? Well, because. So my husband and I, same thing, obsessed with all the self help books. He loves to highlight, underline, circle. Fine, but not in my.

[Lucy Hale]

Not in yours. It's yours.

[Rachel]

Do you know what I mean? Because then I'm like, am I even getting the information the way I would digest it, or am I making points?

[Lucy Hale]

You're like, oh, that's important. Should I take. I.

[Rob]

Or. He's telling you things as he's reading. He's like circling like, this is for Olivia.

[Rachel]

This is for Olivia. Exactly. So. So I feel like it's okay in your own book, but if you were to lend someone a book and they underline and it's like there's pure etiquette.

[Olivia]

Like that you follow. Like, you borrow a book, you're not gonna.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

What self help books do you like?

[Lucy Hale]

Okay, well, the Untethered Soul is a fave. The Four Agreements is probably my top favorite. It's just such a simple, beautiful way to live your life. Agreed. What else am I reading now? I'm really interested in at this point in my life. Reincarnation and Many Lives, Many masters.

[Rachel]

My favorite book of all time.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, my God. Okay, so I read that. I read this book probably maybe a year or two. Have you read it?

[Rachel]

No.

[Lucy Hale]

Year or two ago and it was already kind of in alignment with what I believed that, you know, we all live many lives and I'm interested in acting because I've probably done it in former lives. And it explains why you have connections with certain people and karma turnover and karma in general and past life regression. And so this book is about a. Is he a hypnotherapist?

[Rachel]

Well, he was a therapist and he started doing hypnotherapy with that girl, with this one. With what woman?

[Lucy Hale]

We call her a patient. A client.

[Rachel]

A patient.

[Lucy Hale]

A woman. And he did hypnotherapy on her and did past life regression and could tap into all these different past lives. I mean, this is a woman who was educated in a certain way, didn't speak different languages, and she would go into her subconscious and start speaking different languages and know things she didn't know anything about. And she had. I think it started from her fear of water. She was like, I have no reason to have this insane fear of water. And in all of her past lives, they tapped into. She died by drowning. Traumatic deaths by water, essentially.

[Rachel]

That's a true story.

[Olivia]

That's a true story.

[Lucy Hale]

It's all from his recordings. He wrote this book, and it's just kind of. It changed the way I view death, and it changed the way, truly, in one book, it, like, opened up this whole new world for me. And I just have gotten so interested into all of it, and I feel like, what a beautiful life we would all live if we weren't afraid of.

[Olivia]

Yeah, afraid of.

[Lucy Hale]

Afraid of death. And to know that we go on and we learn things and we take the lessons from this life and it carries over.

[Olivia]

My mom is very, you know, tapped into all of this, and she's always raised me not to fear death. And, you know, she has a pretty good outlook on it. And for me, I'm always like, well, you die, you're not gonna know. Like, you're not gonna remember you died. Like, you're just dead. Like, there's not. Like you're gonna be like, oh, I just died. How horrible is this? Right? You're dead. Right? You're just moving on. You know what I mean?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Mentally, I'm like, well, you're not gonna remember. Like, you die in your sleep, you're not gonna know. Yeah. And then you just go on and move on.

[Rachel]

But that. So in the book, though, it opened up my eyes as well. One I use when I'm talking to people all the time about getting out of their comfort zone. In that book, it changed my whole perspective on life. Because I remember him talking something about, like, your soul groups. Right?

[Lucy Hale]

Like, you travel. Soul family.

[Rachel]

Your soul family.

[Lucy Hale]

I just got full body chills because it's just continue. Sorry to cut you. Yeah.

[Rachel]

No, no, no. So. So he. He talks about at some point, like, you know, when you meet people and you're just like, I know you.

[Lucy Hale]

I feel comfortable.

[Rachel]

I know you.

[Olivia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel]

And then he talks about, like, when you get into relationships, I remember him somehow explaining how, like, we all travel in these soul families. Right.

[Lucy Hale]

But different roles in each life.

[Rachel]

Yeah. And that when you meet someone that's kind of like outside of your frequency, and that's when you kind of change.

[Lucy Hale]

Right? Right.

[Rachel]

Do you understand what I mean? So it's like in order to get out of whatever lesson it is we came here to learn, we kind of have to get out of our frequency.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

To experience something new, to grow.

[Lucy Hale]

Because when we're around people. This is so funny. This is exactly where I'm at in my life talking about all this. But when we're around people that make us feel good or feel comfortable, we're in the same frequency.

[Olivia]

That's it.

[Lucy Hale]

But if you're around someone who. I hate the word triggered because everyone freaking uses that word these days. But when you are around someone who makes you nervous or anxious or triggered, it means you're just not in the same frequency. It doesn't mean they're a bad person or a good person. It just means you're operating on different levels.

[Olivia]

But, like, what's the difference? Like excited, nervous, or like, just nervous.

[Lucy Hale]

Will you ever just meet someone, you go, ooh, you make me feel weird. Yes. Like physically icky. It's just you're at drastically different frequencies.

[Olivia]

Or they're just fucked up people.

[Lucy Hale]

Or they're just fucked and don't belong in my freaking world.

[Rachel]

But also for dating, it's an interesting way to look at things. Like when I first met my husband, I could tell he wasn't in my frequency.

[Olivia]

Really?

[Rachel]

Not at all. Whoa. Like, I was like, this is a different frequency. Like, I was used to chop off one guy's head, another pops up. It's the same person.

[Olivia]

Right?

[Rachel]

Right.

[Olivia]

Interesting.

[Rachel]

So I learned through that book. Why don't you try dating outside of your frequency?

[Lucy Hale]

That's so.

[Rachel]

And it. I married him, obviously. But.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Like, well, how did it feel when you first were around him that, like, made you, like, realize he wasn't in your frequency? Different, just different. A different feeling.

[Rachel]

Different. Like, oh, whoa. I've never experienced this versus the same.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

Like, I've felt this. I know this.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

It just felt. This is odd. Yeah. You know?

[Olivia]

Yeah. But positive, obviously.

[Lucy Hale]

I mean, I think we're all, like, guilty of fucking negative, bad, just all around.

[Rachel]

No, but do you. Does that come in with dating? Like, do you feel like you've done the same thing over and over or do you feel.

[Lucy Hale]

I mean, I definitely. I've not been in A what I would consider a committed relationship in years, years, years, years.

[Olivia]

For.

[Lucy Hale]

For a couple of different reasons. But I'm in that place where I'm thinking, okay, I know exactly what I'm looking for and what I've dated in the past. It was essentially a carbon copy of the same. The same dude like, I typically liked. Ooh. Like a little project to fix. Like, your problems are worse than mine. So you're gonna make me feel better about myself just because I'm helping, you know, quote, unquote fix you. And so after my last relationship ended, I had all these non negotiables, which some people might call way too picky. But I'm like, well, I just have these standards and I refuse to believe that that's not out there. And so I've been single for so long because I'm like, oh, well. Oh, yeah, they don't have this. And I just. I've just had to be really patient.

[Olivia]

But it's really evolved. Especially, you know, you're 30.

[Lucy Hale]

33, my Jesus year.

[Rachel]

Magic number.

[Lucy Hale]

33, your Jesus year.

[Olivia]

But. No, but to have that wherewithal at that age, you know, Like, I feel like I didn't come into that until my late 30s or whatever. Just. Just really recognizing exactly what you want, what you deserve. The non negotiables, which is, you know, the perfect way to put it. But I think it's amazing that you're there.

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[Olivia]

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[Lucy Hale]

I definitely have an open mind in thinking, oh maybe, maybe I, I'm just open to dating someone different as well. Yeah, but it's more just I always fall back to the, the self respect and self worth I have now that I didn't have earlier in my life. Does that make sense? So like for sure I'm open minded, but I know what I'm looking for.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

Well, what are your negotiables?

[Olivia]

Do they go along non negotiable?

[Rachel]

I mean, what are you? Well, there's also negotiables, right?

[Olivia]

Ah, that's a good point.

[Lucy Hale]

So like my negotiables. Negotiables, that's hard to say. Like I don't love cigarettes but if they smoke, like I'm willing to compromise. Right. But I guess my non negotiables would be, I think because I also hate when people say I've done the work. It's so stupid. But I have put a lot of work into myself and so someone who's completely aware of themselves and knows their strengths and their weaknesses, that's so Important to me. Someone who's not self aware. Bye.

[Rachel]

Goodbye.

[Lucy Hale]

Take yourself. There's the door.

[Olivia]

Yeah. It's not for you, right?

[Lucy Hale]

I think someone who's spiritually evolved, I guess because, you know, similar interests, but I mean, we don't have to be the same, but I think view the world kind of in a similar way. Sense of humor is so big for me. I find people either deathly boring or super annoying. So somewhere we're like in between. What else, what else? What else?

[Rachel]

None of those are things that you're not doing yourself. So why is that too picky?

[Lucy Hale]

It's not. It's not for me. It's not too picky. But I've just had people say, well, you might not be as attracted. Physically attracted to someone, or this person might not be spiritually what you're looking for. And I'm like, I just refuse to believe that. I think you can find someone who you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically connect with. Like a 10 out of 10 in each area. I think that is possible. I think so many people settle. It is possible. I'm not gonna fucking settle. I'll die alone before I settle.

[Olivia]

I love that. I love hearing that.

[Rachel]

You may have to.

[Lucy Hale]

So dramatic. But like, that's just how I feel.

[Olivia]

So you know what it should be. And it's like strength and knowing what you. You know.

[Rachel]

Do you have an actual list?

[Lucy Hale]

I mean, I have journals where I've written out specifically what I'm looking for. Because I do believe in the power of manifestation. Yeah. But so. Yes. Yeah, I do.

[Olivia]

I love it. Yeah.

[Rachel]

You know what's weird is I had a list and some of the things my husband wasn't when I met him, but he is today.

[Lucy Hale]

Wow.

[Olivia]

Oh, wow, that's interesting.

[Lucy Hale]

Was he physically what? You know? Yeah.

[Rachel]

So he's. He's very handsome, but he was more like. I was used to like a cooler type guy that wore like cool clothes and, you know, and Jeff's jeans were like atrocious to me. Like, I had to go to therapy over the jeans. Can I date this human who wears. Who wears true religions that were like, you know, stitched and like, he wasn't from here, you know, and so.

[Lucy Hale]

That's so funny. It was a visual.

[Olivia]

Okay. I thought you were like, I have a version of that story.

[Rachel]

He no longer wears the jeans, you.

[Rob]

Know, his choice or yours? Did you make himself?

[Rachel]

No, it's combined. He. He wore them because an ex girlfriend got like.

[Olivia]

He doesn't give a shit. That's a difference. It's not like he's per.

[Lucy Hale]

It's like.

[Olivia]

It's more that attitude of just not giving a fuck, which is attractive.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

So the jeans don't matter. Yeah.

[Rachel]

And he's attractive as a human. So that was a negotiable, right?

[Olivia]

Yes.

[Rachel]

Humor's a non negotiable.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

But some of the things too. Like, on my list, it literally said sober. He wasn't sober at the time, he is now.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

Like, so many things have manifested. Wow.

[Olivia]

Yeah. Like you called him in and then you grew. Like it all just grew together.

[Rachel]

Wow. What are your non negotiables?

[Olivia]

You know what it made me think of, though? My mom, when I was younger, she took me to this woman. And I don't exactly know what she was, but it was like, okay, I want you to. And I was young, though, so for her to be, like, manifest in your mind, like exactly what you're looking for, like, in a partner. And I had to have been in junior high school, like, really young. It was weird. And at the time, I was in love with my older brother's best friend, of course. So all I pictured was like, I need a shaved head and green eyes. Okay. Like, that was my only things that I was looking for. Cause I was like fucking 14 years old. Right.

[Jennifer]

But.

[Olivia]

But it's all about. It just opened my eyes to really, like, okay, well you can. And I went. He was like my first. I lost my virginity to him. So clearly it did something. But. Sorry, Sorry. John, my brother, he doesn't listen to this. No, he definitely doesn't listen. So we're fine. But it was something that just opened my eyes to really believing. And I think I've done it quite a few times in my life where I manifest things and it is powerful. And I know you asked me my non negotiables and I went on a tangent, but. My non negotiables. Yeah, he has to be funny. Like. Yeah, it's like, it kills me. Yeah. It's my biggest, like, slayer. Like, yeah, make me laugh and I will pull down my pants.

[Lucy Hale]

Anything. Panty dropper.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

See? Thank you, Rob.

[Lucy Hale]

She said panty dropper. Do you love the. The phrase panty drop? I don't think I've ever used that. By the way. This might be a first for me. Who am I? A bro? Like, yeah.

[Olivia]

She said it the other day and.

[Rachel]

I was like, we should ask people.

[Olivia]

You. We ask you what your panty dropper is.

[Rob]

No, no, you said. You said seal the.

[Lucy Hale]

No, it started with what's my big panty dropper.

[Rachel]

That people don't say that.

[Jennifer]

Say that.

[Olivia]

You can't say thank you.

[Lucy Hale]

Thank you. You're welcome.

[Olivia]

Thank you.

[Lucy Hale]

See, same frequency.

[Rachel]

That's right.

[Rob]

For sure.

[Olivia]

Yes, but. Yeah, but that was a question. What would be like, the biggest thing for you for a guy to do that? You're like, okay, game over here.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, so. Wow. Well, I can say what. What. What really gets me?

[Olivia]

Really?

[Lucy Hale]

I'm like. I'm like, what really gets me?

[Rachel]

I don't know.

[Lucy Hale]

So many things turn me off.

[Rachel]

Right?

[Olivia]

You're like, I can think of those way easier.

[Lucy Hale]

But like, you know. Yeah, you know. Well, we already know. Bad breath is not a panty jar. I think I'm really into, like, mysterious guys. So it's gotta be a combination of someone who's like, really quiet. Only when you're into them. If you're not into them, it's just borderline creepy. But if you're into someone and they stare at you for like a second longer than what's appropriate. Yeah, but like I said, if it's with the wrong person, you're like, oh, my God, what's happening? But with someone that you're newly into and they stare at you and like a light touch of your hand or something. That sounds so stupid, but it sounds.

[Olivia]

Like you feel it in your vagina.

[Lucy Hale]

I feel it all the way down.

[Olivia]

That's what I say to Livium. Like, you get that, like, tingle. Yeah.

[Rachel]

The little ping.

[Olivia]

Yeah. You get a ping.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

There's just a look.

[Olivia]

You're like, that's all I need is, like, the right look from the right person.

[Lucy Hale]

Maybe I need to get specific about what my panty dropping moments are.

[Rachel]

Everybody should, like, write a list of their biggest panty droppers.

[Olivia]

I feel like that would be an interesting conversation. Like, let's say you go on a first date and you're like, okay, I'm gonna bring my list.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Well, you know, it's a big deal.

[Rachel]

Because it's like, like doing the work. Like, those are things that's part of the work. Like, what does turn me on? What am I attracted to?

[Lucy Hale]

You know what turns me all the way up and on? When people ask questions about how many times are you with someone? And you're like, they're only asking me a question because they want to answer it or they straight up do not ask you anything. And I think this all circles back to not being aware. Yes. You're someone who can read the room and is sensitive to other people's Emotions. Fucking hot.

[Olivia]

Yep.

[Lucy Hale]

I'll marry you today. Yeah, but it's rare. I find it in women all the time. Sorry, Rob. You might have this. I don't know you well enough, but. But I think in women, because we're just naturally more empath, more empathetic. Not, you know, they're empathetic, more sensitive. But I. When I can find a man who's so in touch with. I guess I just like sensitive dudes. Not that I want you to cry. You don't need to cry. But if you want to cry, someone who's not afraid to tap into all the different layers of yourself, that's like.

[Olivia]

The first thing you look for. Like, even recently watching Love is Blind, for example. Okay.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

You're like, is he asking her questions about her and not just talking about himself? Like, and I'm using it. I just watched it recently, so I'm like, I've never seen it. I know. I don't know why you don't watch it.

[Rob]

It's so entertaining show about blind people.

[Rachel]

Rob.

[Lucy Hale]

Not quite, but it sounds canceled.

[Rachel]

Rob just got canceled.

[Olivia]

Rob just got canceled.

[Lucy Hale]

Rob.

[Rob]

Well, they have the autism one.

[Lucy Hale]

They could have a blind love on the spectrum. What a beautiful.

[Olivia]

I can't.

[Lucy Hale]

Did you watch? I just watched the first one. I need to watch.

[Olivia]

Was it the first one where the couple and they dance? Is that. Anyway, whatever.

[Lucy Hale]

Michael, Michael, Michael. What an angel.

[Olivia]

Obsessed with. Yeah, it's like Mr. A plus, I believe is his handle on Instagram.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, my God. So sweet.

[Olivia]

So much I love him. Yeah. But it is true. Because I'm so aware of that. And you're like, like, yeah. Are they. Are they listening? Are they asking questions? Because there. There's been many. Like, I've had a lot of experiences with dudes that just love to hear themselves talk.

[Rachel]

Talk all about their accolades and their.

[Lucy Hale]

So boring.

[Olivia]

So boring. I tune out.

[Lucy Hale]

You know what it is? I hate small talk. I would rather, like, let's get into. Not be around people or sit in silence. Like, I want to know almost the real stuff that I'll immediately be like, where do you. Where do you think you go when you die? You know, I just immediately want to go to that place. I'm sure you guys feel the same. And that's why I feel like dating is boring to me, because it's. It's a lot of small talk.

[Olivia]

Well, do you feel like. Do you date, like, age wise? Have you found that that comes into play, like, older, they're more in touch with. Doesn't matter it's just a person.

[Lucy Hale]

I. I haven't really had rules with dating because I've dated like a lot. Not a lot.

[Rachel]

She's like.

[Lucy Hale]

I've dated all the way up to 52, 27 to like 52. I'm 33 and I feel like I'll probably end up with someone around my age or older.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Just because the non negotiables. I feel like a lot of people, their age bracket will. Will meet those.

[Olivia]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. So, yeah. Just like that maturity level. Well, it's emotional maturity.

[Rachel]

It's the self reflection.

[Announcer]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

And usually that comes with a little bit of age because it's usually life circumstances that bring you to that.

[Lucy Hale]

Right, right.

[Rachel]

But I mean, it can happen younger.

[Olivia]

Yeah, I mean it's really like, I don't know.

[Rob]

What's your youngest age?

[Olivia]

Raw. Yeah.

[Rachel]

We're allowed to ask what your youngest age is.

[Olivia]

What would my youngest age? You know what? I was thinking about this because you put like an age bracket, like when you sign up for that.

[Lucy Hale]

Which you're gonna sign up for later today.

[Olivia]

Yeah. What would you. I don't think I would like. I feel like 38 for me is like the youngest.

[Lucy Hale]

I'm mine. Mine's sad. Mine's 27. No, 27 to 30. To 50.

[Olivia]

To 50. Yeah. Okay. So you get like, okay, there's a.

[Lucy Hale]

Lot of young dudes on there. I end up saying no to a lot of the younger ones.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Olivia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel]

So you would rather go a little older?

[Lucy Hale]

My intuition said 27 to 50 out. And I questioned it. I'm thinking why that seems a little young. But.

[Olivia]

But what was it like? You said 52. What was it like dating 52? Because I haven't. I don't think I've ever date how old stuff? 49.

[Lucy Hale]

50.

[Olivia]

50. He's 50 now.

[Lucy Hale]

He was a young 52.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

I loved it. It's just like.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

None of the no bullshit. Almost was very.

[Olivia]

So there was a big difference. Yeah. The whole bullshit factor, I feel like would be.

[Lucy Hale]

I'm into that.

[Olivia]

A big thing. Like no games. Just kind of like up front.

[Lucy Hale]

Games is a panty dropper. It is, it is. It is.

[Rachel]

Games are not a panty dropper.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

No, but I've had to really undo that way of thinking because the cat and mouse thing was something almost like I was like addicted to that chase for a while. But that's exhausting. And we've moved past that.

[Olivia]

Good. No games.

[Rachel]

I think that's just being young.

[Olivia]

Is it?

[Lucy Hale]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Rachel]

Like, I don't know anyone in their 20s that was like, you know what I like?

[Olivia]

Stability.

[Rachel]

Stability. A real intelligence, solid, honest, honest man. They're like, I want the guy that doesn't want me.

[Olivia]

Right. Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Treats me like, yeah, of course.

[Olivia]

And, I mean, we're all victims of that. You know, I would say, because you learn. You learn from every experience. Like, I certainly have. It's everyone's. It's so vastly different, too. So you're taking away things from each experience. And, you know, at 41. I'm 41. So, like, oh, my God.

[Lucy Hale]

You think, great. What?

[Rachel]

Stop.

[Olivia]

No, thanks, Angelique. Truly. When I'm just a little short person. But, yeah, it's true. It just comes with, you know, it's just life experience. And, man, I was tied. And I talk about this because we're rewatching the OC for this podcast and looking at myself at 21. Such a trip. Because it's literally 20 years of your life, and you're like, what has all transpired in these 20 years?

[Lucy Hale]

That's so crazy.

[Olivia]

So crazy. And, like, you'll look back at, like. Like, Pretty Little Liars and think, like, oh, my God, I was, like, in my 20s. Yeah. You know, and everything. You were pro. How old were you when you started the show?

[Lucy Hale]

I booked that show when I was 20, and we were done when I was, like, 28. Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's such a.

[Olivia]

It's a long time.

[Lucy Hale]

It's a long time.

[Rachel]

It was your 20s.

[Lucy Hale]

I know. And I. Wow. Like, so much happened for all of us during that time, but those are pivotal years.

[Olivia]

And.

[Lucy Hale]

And, you know, I can look back now with compassion for myself and just know that I was handling it in the best way that I could. But. Oh, my God. You know the question you always get asked in interviews, like, what would you tell your younger self? And there's a million things I would have done differently now with the awareness I have now. It was crazy. I mean, the good part was we filmed in LA and we lived in this bubble at Warner Brothers. And I didn't even really recognize the success of it until I was outside of it, because I just. Nine months of the year went to work, then it was the holidays, and I went back and did it again. And so now I can sort of see it for what it was and think, holy shit, it's amazing what it was.

[Olivia]

But it's so true when you're in it. Cause you're just constantly in it, and it's just your life, and you don't think of it in any other way. And, like, I'm here every day, really long time, you know, and you work for so long on it and then. But it obviously had such a big impact and was. Was a huge show. And so to kind of look back on it, I think it's kind of cool to be able to reflect on it a little bit. Yeah, it was a good thing, you know, like, it's a great thing.

[Rachel]

I mean, but also, how was it like, growing up in the public eye and dating formative years? Like, your twenties are, for most people, a bit of a show.

[Announcer]

Right.

[Rachel]

Like, there's a lot of. Let's say there's a lot of learning.

[Olivia]

Right, Right.

[Rachel]

It doesn't change it, but then there's, like, a witness. There's, like, eyes on it.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

What was that like for you?

[Lucy Hale]

I think so. I moved to LA when I was 15. I was homeschooled for high school. I didn't even graduate. I, like, got emancipated for a job and just never picked up school again. And I didn't go to college, which I don't think I would have done anyway. But I was supporting myself basically at 16. I was on sets really young, so I was learning to deal with adults and personalities and people pleasing was, like, a big thing. I knew what to be and how to act, but what I didn't learn was, who actually am I outside of that? And so what's happened since I've ended Pretty Little Liars? And that whole experience is like learning, oh, what's my identity outside of what I do for a living in my career, because that's basically been my entire life. So, like, learning who Lucy is without X, Y and Z has been actually one of the hardest journeys of my life. But how did I go off on this tangent? What were we talking? Oh, life growing up.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

In the fast lane.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

You know, I have nothing to relate it to. It was just my reality. I wouldn't have changed anything. But it was interesting because social media hadn't really popped off yet. I guess Twitter was a big thing, but now it's become this whole other beast. And I feel like if I were doing some of the things I was doing in my 20s, now, it would have just been a different experience. So there was still some sort of anonymity, I feel like, because we kind of. That show grew alongside Instagram. I think my first Instagram post was season one of Liars, but there is that added pressure. But because I didn't have a life outside of that it was just, you know, it was what it was, and I just kind of dealt with it. I mean, it is important to me now to kind of hold onto some of my privacy and, like, there are certain things I don't want to speak about or.

[Olivia]

What are they?

[Rachel]

No, I'm just kidding.

[Olivia]

So.

[Lucy Hale]

But I feel like when I'm in a relationship, like, I feel like I'll probably. Who knows?

[Olivia]

Maybe let's.

[Lucy Hale]

Maybe I'll keep that just for me. But, you know, like, I really feel for these people that can't even go out and live their lives and they have entourages of 30 people and paparazzi following them everywhere. Like, that seems.

[Olivia]

Anxiety. Seems really hard.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. Whereas I have a great life here and can have things that are just for me. And, like, there is still some privacy and.

[Announcer]

Yeah, that's.

[Olivia]

I think that is a big. Especially in this day and age with the social media and everything else, like, everything's out there instantly. Yeah. But I mean, you are right. Like, there are people. I don't know how I could, you know, ever be, like, fucking Kim Kardashian or whoever, you know, it's like, it's mind blowing. But I also think it takes a certain type of person that can just shut it all off. And I feel like.

[Lucy Hale]

Do you think those people do that? I feel like you're constantly in it. I feel like you're constantly living that.

[Olivia]

Right. I mean, yes.

[Lucy Hale]

Not that it's two different identities, because maybe that's just who they are.

[Olivia]

But it seems like I don't know her and I can't be like, oh, this is, you know, how she feels. But it seems like she handles it better than most.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Would be my judge, probably judgment.

[Rachel]

Experiential learning. Like, you cannot learn something you don't experience. So, like, she's probably learned through experience.

[Olivia]

But, like. But we talk about it, you know, there's so much noise and. And there's a lot of, like, negativity that can come towards you. And everybody loves to have a opinion. Right. In comments, in your captions or whatever. And she's like, learning that, being on this and we talk about it. But it's like you. You. Yeah. Gain the skill of tuning it out or not reading it or whatever it is. It kind of has to, like, roll off.

[Lucy Hale]

It's so interesting because I so respect when people say, oh, I just don't read it, or I. I, like, almost have to. But the only way I can do that is because I know at the end of the day, like, I'M living my truth, and I'm in alignment with, like, I only speak up about things that I believe are true. And I feel like if you're living a truthful, authentic life, like, anyone could say anything to me, and if I know I'm doing what I believe is best, I don't care. Unfollow me.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

Right. I don't care.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

Because I. I went. I've been on opposite end of the spectrums where I was too into it, and I care, and I'll always care what people think of me. That would be a lie if I said I didn't care. Like, it's part of my job. Like, I want people to relate and to like me, but if I'm living my life for other people, that's not gonna work for me. And then if I completely avoid it, that also doesn't work for me. So I've had to find a balance of the two.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

What if it hits something? Like, I understand if you're living in integrity and you're living in alignment and, you know, like, every day I'm showing up to be the best version of myself. Say what you will.

[Lucy Hale]

Right.

[Rachel]

What happens if it hits an actual insecurity?

[Lucy Hale]

Which is. Yeah, I. I think now I can take that and say, oh, why is this bringing up so much for me? Why is this making me so uncomfortable? And I'm gonna use my favorite word triggered. Why is this triggering me? And I think everything can be a lesson. So if someone says something about the way I look, I'm like, why does this upset me so much? It will always go back to something that I. I need to work on and.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

And I also learned from the Four Agreements, one of my favorite books, like, nothing's personal. If someone's saying something about the way I look or about my work or something, it actually doesn't have anything to do with me. It has to do with their perception.

[Olivia]

Their perception or their projecting or whatever.

[Lucy Hale]

So. But to answer your question, if it hits a nerve, I kind of try to see what it's trying to teach me.

[Rachel]

Yeah, that's the best.

[Lucy Hale]

But also realizing, like you said, everyone's got an opinion, not everyone's gonna like me. And that's. That's okay because.

[Olivia]

But then you talked about, like, people pleasing, you know, and I mean, yeah, I'm a huge. It takes a lot of work to kind of undo that. Right. You know, and especially you being so young and coming into it all and thinking you have to. People please all the time. It's A hard habit to break. And. And I've done it a little bit, I guess, now that I'm older, but it's definitely there. And that also plays into the whole caring what other people think. And I love and appreciate your honesty with it, where you're like, no, it's still gonna affect me. But the fact that you can take that and look at it and why it's affecting you like that right there is the work. You know, it is the work. It is.

[Rachel]

You know what word? I'm just gonna throw this out there for you that I like is activated instead of triggered. Because I'm like, ooh, like, this is.

[Lucy Hale]

Activating something in me.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

And because I do agree, it's like trigger, trigger, trigger. And I stopped liking that for myself.

[Lucy Hale]

My brain shuts off when I hear it.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

And I've already said it three times in this podcast. No, please.

[Rachel]

It's a really hard word to be.

[Olivia]

Thrown around so much. Yeah, right. And it. And it's when someone says trigger, it's triggering. Like it is because you're like, oh.

[Announcer]

Here we go again.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

But it's true. The act activated is a great way replacement.

[Rachel]

I'll be like, my is activated. Yeah. It's awake. It's a lot. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that could be good or bad.

[Lucy Hale]

I like that.

[Olivia]

It could be good or bad.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. Yeah, it's true. The people pleasing thing is so real, though, I think.

[Olivia]

Do you do it in relationships? Because I really do it in relationships.

[Lucy Hale]

I do it a lot in my. With definitely in my career. Okay.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

I'll start from the beginning, I think. So. I grew up in the south, and it's a very real thing to put on a happy face and say what you think you're supposed to say. Brush things under the rug. So it definitely started with, I'm not shitting on the South. I love where I'm from, and it gave me so many great values, but I think just our parents and of that generation, you didn't say it was taught that if you were upset or if you're angry, go to your room, don't cry. Like, smile. So it taught us that you're not supposed to feel how you feel.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

And then being on sets really young, like, I learned very quickly if I behave this way or if I act this way in an audition, or if I say yes to doing all these things that I don't really want to do, people will like me. And so I had no boundaries for so much of my life. I could not speak up for myself. So this necklace right here is. It has to tie into everything I'm saying. It's called lapis lazuli, and it's for your throat chakra. Because my. I don't. It's very hard for me to speak up for what I want because I feel like it's either too much, I'll be labeled as difficult, or it's too crazy. And so I'm at this cool point in my life where I realize, oh, I can still be kind and speak up for myself. And I think that that is the most empowering lesson I've learned because it is natural for me to want to get to know people and to help people and to be kind, but I also will not put up with bullshit or disrespect. So, like, both of those realities can exist together. Whereas I used to think, you know, my time during Liars, like, I felt like such a pushover, and I'd go home and I'd be so angry and resentful because I wasn't. I wasn't speaking up for myself.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

So it's something that a lot of women and girls struggle with is putting those boundaries and knowing that you can be kind and have a boundary.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

And it doesn't mean that it's aggressive. It doesn't mean that it's crazy. It doesn't mean that you're difficult.

[Olivia]

You're difficult.

[Rachel]

It's like there is a way to deliver truth in a really clear, kind way.

[Lucy Hale]

Right?

[Rachel]

Period.

[Lucy Hale]

Period.

[Rachel]

Period.

[Lucy Hale]

And that is a panty dropper.

[Rachel]

That is a panty dropper. Boundaries. Fucking forget it.

[Lucy Hale]

It's hard, though.

[Olivia]

It is hard.

[Lucy Hale]

Such a hard thing.

[Olivia]

It is hard.

[Rachel]

So I love your whole thing.

[Olivia]

Oh, yeah.

[Rachel]

Like with throat chakra, I'm like, I need that necklace.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

My friend Kelsey got this for me.

[Olivia]

Have you.

[Lucy Hale]

Kelsey Dinahan, has she ever done your makeup?

[Olivia]

I don't. I don't know.

[Lucy Hale]

I thought you had worked out. Anyway, she. Maybe she was listening to my conversation one day and surprised me. This gift.

[Olivia]

Oh, that's amazing.

[Rachel]

Do you do work on that, like, on different parts of your chakras or, like, on your communication?

[Lucy Hale]

I try. So I started doing. Not practicing Reiki. People would practice it on me a couple years ago and just learning about spirituality and just learning about the different chakras. And anyone who's ever practiced Reiki on me always mentions that my throat chakra is blocked. And so it could be that it's. It could be super old. It could be generational. Or from your ancestors. It could be super, super old. Talking about past lives.

[Rachel]

Yep.

[Lucy Hale]

But it. But it does ring as authentic to me because speaking up for myself and advocating for myself has been such a challenge for me.

[Olivia]

So.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. So interest is something that I'll always wait.

[Olivia]

Well, something similar happened to me with, like, a clairvoyant who was, like, working on me and, like, touching my face and my throat, and they were like, well, this thing isn't going to happen until you can speak up for yourself. Like, they felt that. That, that's. I feel like it's like a similar. Definitely a lot of people can relate to that. Not everybody, obviously. There's people that have no problem that we've encountered.

[Announcer]

True.

[Rachel]

They're all different. Yeah, everybody's different. But, like, that's one of the things I love to do, too, is, like, when I'm making a decision or a choice is I'll close my eyes and be like, okay, where do I feel this in my body? And it's like, whatever chakra that is, it's like, ooh, there's something that feels like a strangling feeling in my throat. Or, you know, and then you're like, oh, okay. Something needs to be said. And working with those things is such a great way to get to know yourself.

[Olivia]

Right. Right.

[Lucy Hale]

When it's all like, your nervous system will never lie to you.

[Rachel]

Nope.

[Lucy Hale]

And so for me, whenever something is wrong, I do. I feel it here. I feel it here. And I think it's. We're not really taught. Taught to listen to our bodies. You know, there's that. There's this book called.

[Rachel]

Your mom.

[Olivia]

I know.

[Lucy Hale]

I was like, my mom taught me everything about chakra.

[Olivia]

No. Yeah, she was.

[Rachel]

During that part.

[Olivia]

Who's there? Yeah.

[Rachel]

There's a book.

[Lucy Hale]

What the. I. It's called the body keeps. The body keeps the score. And I haven't read it yet, but it's about, you know, our mind might repress things over here. I love that Rob coming in hot. But our body stores on to stuff and we. We just.

[Olivia]

It's the Eckhart Tolle talks about it.

[Lucy Hale]

The.

[Olivia]

The sense. The body. What's the term? He, you know, keeps the score.

[Lucy Hale]

Yes, exactly.

[Olivia]

But he does. And it's like your sense memory and you feel it in your body. Yeah. And it's so telling. And people, if they just could, like, tap into that more. It really does not lie.

[Lucy Hale]

I know.

[Olivia]

The body doesn't lie.

[Rachel]

No, because. Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

I mean, because I certainly had to learn all this because of my own curiosity. I definitely was not taught about, you know, because I think there's a mind, body, spirit connection. And I think in Western culture, we're taught that it's all separate. But it's like there's this one Instagram called the Holistic Psychologist.

[Rachel]

So I started following her this week.

[Lucy Hale]

She's brilliant. She has a book, too. And it's just, you know, everything is working together. It's not a separate thing.

[Rachel]

It's so outdated to think that it wouldn't be. Isn't that silly?

[Lucy Hale]

Right?

[Rachel]

It's like, how could it not be? And that's where disease comes from.

[Lucy Hale]

Yes.

[Rachel]

It's stress in the body. And it's like, you know, even paying attention to the throat chakra. I remember when Rachel's mom had me start working on it, I used to get sick. I used to get sore throats all the time. I used to get coughs all the time. When I. I started focusing on the throat chakra and being like, what needs to be said? What am I not saying? What am I not being true? Da, da, da.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

I have not gotten sick. Not on one. I mean, decades now.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Where I used to get sick every other week. And it's like your body's always trying.

[Lucy Hale]

Giving you signs to you. Giving you.

[Olivia]

Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

Even my back. This.

[Olivia]

Oh, my God.

[Lucy Hale]

What's your body trying to tell you?

[Rachel]

He's looking at me like, you cuckoo.

[Olivia]

No, this is.

[Lucy Hale]

I can tell you, this is amazing. And, like, you can't obviously talk about these things with. Either people are interested in this or they're not.

[Olivia]

I could talk about this all day.

[Lucy Hale]

Yes. You guys are my type of people. Rob, you. I can tell you. Rob's curious about it, but I always have lower back stuff. And so I think it comes from when I don't feel like I'm being supported. And so my back always goes out at certain times during the year, and it's always because of that.

[Olivia]

Wow.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Psychosomatic.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Have you read Louise Hay?

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, you can heal your.

[Olivia]

Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

No, but I, like, have it.

[Rachel]

Oh, please read that book.

[Lucy Hale]

I'm gonna read it.

[Rachel]

That is the book.

[Olivia]

That's my mom's main one. Really?

[Lucy Hale]

Okay, I'll read it next.

[Rachel]

That is the book.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

That's the book.

[Olivia]

She always has us pull her cards, you know, when you go to her.

[Rachel]

House, like, my back. And then she'll give you an explanation.

[Lucy Hale]

I have these cards.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Love yourself cards.

[Olivia]

Yes. And you pull one.

[Lucy Hale]

And Annie, my best friend Annie gave me this. Yeah.

[Olivia]

That's so sweet. Really sweet. Yeah.

[Rachel]

It'll give you, like, an affirmation for your back.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay, great.

[Rachel]

So that you're like, I am supported.

[Lucy Hale]

That's really beautiful.

[Olivia]

Did you look it up, or is it just your own idea that it.

[Lucy Hale]

Is that, you know, the Internet can tell you anything. You believe it. But if something happens, I'm also big into, like, spirit animals. So if I see something, I'm like, what's the spiritual meaning of blah? So I typed in spiritual meaning of lower back. And it gives, like, 10 different answers. And you just go with the one that resonates with you. And the one that stuck out was you don't feel like you're being supported in this area of your life.

[Olivia]

And I'm like, right, so it's so on the nose. Yeah. Yeah. I do that a lot with dreams, too, where you're like, what does this represent? You know? And you look it up.

[Lucy Hale]

I don't remember my dreams ever. And it makes me sad. I really want. Maybe I just need to be more conscious before I go to bed of wanting to remember dreams. I don't.

[Olivia]

I mean, not, like, necessarily every night, but there's definitely ones that. But, you know, you're like, oh, you.

[Rachel]

Can ask to remember your dreams.

[Lucy Hale]

I'm gonna do that.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's a bedtime intention. Before you go to sleep, you can say, like, please deliver any information that's important to me and let me remember it.

[Lucy Hale]

That's okay.

[Rachel]

And see if you start.

[Lucy Hale]

Rob's gonna do that tonight. Yes. Right. I can tell.

[Olivia]

I love that Lucy is Rob's number.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Rob is like, natalie, what's your bedtime intention. Intention.

[Rachel]

Jeff and I would do that before bed every night.

[Lucy Hale]

We'd be like, what's your bed.

[Rachel]

Bedtime intention.

[Olivia]

And what was yours? You're like. To have sex with you.

[Rachel]

Not at night. I like the morning better.

[Olivia]

You do like the morning?

[Rachel]

I like morning.

[Lucy Hale]

It's a different vibe.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

If you're having.

[Lucy Hale]

If you're having morning sex, it means you're really comfortable with someone. Right?

[Olivia]

Yeah. And you're.

[Lucy Hale]

So that means you have a deeper level of intimacy and connection. So I can see why morning would be better.

[Rachel]

I like.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Olivia]

I think that's because I'm more awake.

[Rachel]

So I'm, like, tired.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

You know, I want to go to sleep at night.

[Olivia]

You're like, I'm gonna be in my PJs.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

I'm like, cozy.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. I go to bed at 9:00pm oh, yeah. Same. Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

I mean, people trying to have these 9pm dinners I think. What is wrong?

[Rachel]

What is wrong?

[Olivia]

Rob.

[Lucy Hale]

Rob, you are a 9pm dinner goer.

[Rob]

Well, it's because I have two kids.

[Rachel]

No. Yeah, but then that's like five. Let's get the early bird.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rob]

It's because I needed to help put the baby.

[Olivia]

He has to help put the baby down. That was his reason.

[Rob]

He did have a reason.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Olivia]

But insane. Like, how are we going to stay awake at a dinner? Like, it's. Yeah, it stresses me out.

[Rob]

Tea at most of these restaurants.

[Rachel]

Are you morning or night?

[Rob]

Night.

[Rachel]

Night.

[Olivia]

Really? I. Do you think? No.

[Rob]

Are you morning because the baby wakes us up.

[Olivia]

I mean, I like morning because I'm awake and I'm not tired.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Olivia]

But I can do night. It just depends on the night.

[Rachel]

What about a little afternoon delight?

[Lucy Hale]

Afternoon, like, brunch special. A little brunch special. Listen, if you're into someone, you get it.

[Olivia]

Do it when and when you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can appreciate that. Yeah. I think it. Yeah, it depends on. It's circumstantial, I would say, but, yeah, it's just like, I also get in my head a lot with things. And so if I'm like, oh, we're going to bed now, it's nighttime. Like, does that mean we have to have sex? And then I get in my head because it feels like something. It's not organic. It's like premeditated.

[Lucy Hale]

And then I'm just like, routine and mundane.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah. But that's just me and my head issues.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Which My brain.

[Rachel]

But is that just in the beginning or is that, like, long term?

[Lucy Hale]

I think.

[Olivia]

I think it's long term. I think it happened to me in an early, early relationship in my life where I'd be like, okay, we had sex today, so we don't need to.

[Lucy Hale]

That's so funny.

[Olivia]

Formulated.

[Rachel]

Oh, oh, Formulated, like, I already had sex so I don't have to have sex.

[Lucy Hale]

That's a bad sign, right? Yeah, that's not a good sign. You're, like, tallying and you're cowing.

[Olivia]

It's not a good sign. But then I think it's speaks to, like, the anxiety, like, in my body of, like, this repetition and, like, just.

[Rachel]

Just.

[Olivia]

Yeah. Wanting to break that habit. And. And it's not necessarily the person. It's like something inside me, in my brain where I'm like, oh, God. Like, stop. Like the obsessive. Yeah. Just patterns and thinking and trying to break that. And then that's like a challenge for myself and has nothing to do with the person yeah. Got a lot of shit going on up here.

[Lucy Hale]

Listen, we are complex.

[Rachel]

We are.

[Olivia]

Because I slept my head on my pillow, though.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, yeah, My pillow.

[Rachel]

My pillow.

[Olivia]

Definitely. Definitely. What did it. But it's just. It's so interesting and, like, situations and things can bring out things and then breaking habits are hard, you know, Like, I'm my, you know, seasoned year of 41. But it's true. It's just like this weird thing, and then you start going inside and you're like, what's wrong with me?

[Lucy Hale]

I know, but the beautiful thing is nothing is wrong with you. It's just, you know, I. I think that's also the problem with people telling themselves they're the problem, because we're not. We're all like, perfect and whole. Not perfect. We're all whole. And nothing is wrong. It's just right circumstances and.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

And it's also experience straight up being human. Like, no one gets out without negative thoughts or. Or feeling crazy at a certain time or, you know, it's like it's just being human. And that's the thing. There is nothing wrong, wrong. It's just what it is.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

And most of the time, we just don't even have the tools.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

Like, why is there not a school.

[Rachel]

Thank you.

[Lucy Hale]

That teaches children how to regulate emotions and sit with yourself and.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Should we start a school, guys? All this happens. True.

[Olivia]

Like teaching these kids, like, you know, memorizing numbers. Like, I can't tell you one thing I learned in math. Like, now.

[Lucy Hale]

Well, that's another issue.

[Olivia]

But, yeah, it's true. And. But, like, what are the important things?

[Lucy Hale]

And I watched, what was it? The Selena Gomez documentary, and she was talking about how, you know, when you're at school and they say, point to the smiley face that you feel today.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

And it, you know, and they have a spectrum of smiley faces ranging from so happy to miserable. I feel like we start there and then it kind of like fizzles out. Like, I feel like.

[Olivia]

Yeah, but.

[Rachel]

Yeah, but it would be more powerful to do that and then do it again in another hour. Yeah.

[Olivia]

Because that's checking in. Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's like people think they're supposed to be happy. It's like happy is one fucking emotion you feel during the day.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

You can also feel sad that day and anxious that day and mad that day.

[Lucy Hale]

Right. It's like, it's not like that's being human.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's not like I am that thing.

[Lucy Hale]

Right, Right.

[Rachel]

And that's the thing I'm striving to get to. It's like, no, you might feel happy and then you might feel stressed.

[Olivia]

Right? Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Do you guys feel. I used to get so stressed out when I'd feel sadness or any, like, kind of darkness. Because you. You think if you're not. Not always hear that something's wrong. I think that's why so many people. Without getting in too deep into this, why so many people are over medicated.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

Is because we forget that being a human is all these emotions, different feelings.

[Olivia]

Right. It's like a big spectrum.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah, for sure. Because you are expected to just always be right.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Olivia]

Like, I was in a relationship where for the first time in my life, like, I was dealing with depression or whatever, and they're like, why can't you just be okay? And I'm like, I don't know how to articulate or explain this to you. Like, you just need to, like, chill out and understand that it's something that happens to people and, you know, people go through. Yeah. And you're out of control of it a lot of the time. So it's like, it's not something I'm purposely doing, you know, and it's just part of life, being human. Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Different seasons of life.

[Rachel]

When was the first time you felt that feeling sadness? Like, not just sadness, not like, oh, my puppy got hit, or like, yeah, geez, I know.

[Olivia]

That was really dark.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Oh, my puppy got murdered.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, I did it. No, honestly, I was aware of darkness and sadness at a very young age. I think it's just being. I was just, like, hypersensitive to. To everyone around me. So I. Not that I didn't have a good childhood, but I have, like, very vivid memories of. I don't want to say it was depression, but of just feeling things too intensely at a very young age. And no wonder I wanted to be an actor, because it was such. I got to access all these different kind of emotions and, you know, kind of became my outlet. But then I felt guilty for, you know, in teenager, early 20s, I felt guilty for feeling any form of sadness, because how could I be sad? Look at my life. Look at all these things I'm doing and I'm successful or blah, blah, blah. But those things don't. As we know, those things don't give you joy. Those things might fill a void for a while, but guess what? Whatever you're dealing with or feeling, it's always going to rise to the surface, whether it's a week later, years later, or 10 years later. So it went from feeling these Things. Then to learning that I shouldn't feel these things, and back to people pleasing. Putting on a smiling face and then feeling intense shame and guilt for having these feelings. Then to really repressing them. Then to now where I'm like, oh, it's okay. It's okay to have all these different emotions and coming to terms with that. But no, really young, I feel like. Yeah, like a child.

[Rachel]

Child.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Yeah. And that's.

[Olivia]

Was that you too?

[Rachel]

No, I think I was. I think I was introduced to darkness. Like, real. The dark. Real dark things in life. Really young. But it wasn't until things in my life kind of got better that I met my own darkness, if that makes sense.

[Lucy Hale]

Definitely.

[Olivia]

Do you? What?

[Rachel]

Well, I was so focused on other people's darkness that I was like, oh, there's something wrong with them, with them, with them. And then once they were fine, you're like, oh, shit.

[Olivia]

I.

[Lucy Hale]

Right.

[Rachel]

Yeah. I found it in myself.

[Lucy Hale]

I feel like there's also a movement happening of people talking about shadow self and shadow work and becoming friends with these parts of yourself that feel scary or ugly or wrong. But it's like darkness is only darkness because there is. Right. I think it's important to. It's the yin and yang.

[Olivia]

Absolutely.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah. I think for me, it wasn't until much later, it wasn't. Yeah. You're like, I know.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah. No, it was like, even though there was, like, in my life and growing up and stuff, that was not great. I was always kind of like someone like, that was just, like kind of floating through, you know, and nothing was really affecting me or getting to me. I was just kind of like, well, well, you know, just going right along here and just floating through it. So it wasn't until I was older and something really kind of traumatic happened to me personally, where I was like, oh, this is darkness. My old friend.

[Rachel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

That had always kind of been lurking there, or it just.

[Olivia]

Not that I was aware of. Like, I never, ever had, you know, a relationship with darkness. Like, it just wasn't a thing in my life. Even though, like I said, there were things that should have been right. It was almost just like floating through. But I'm happy that it did happen because it's forced me to really go there and get in there and be like, okay, obviously this was here. I just wasn't ever in touch with it or feeling it, but I was able to bring it to the surface or someone else brought it for me.

[Rachel]

Tiffany's wrapped gore.

[Olivia]

But to look at it and it Actually allowed me to do the work and get to a place now, like we were talking about before, where I know exactly, for the most part, who I am, but also what I want and, like, what I'm looking for in life in general and being okay and content with or without another person, you know, and just being. I'm a mom, I have a kid, and, like, that's my everything and my number one. But just being in that spot where it's like, I'm kind of like, fine and happy either way. Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

And I'm such a beautiful spot to be in.

[Olivia]

It's taken a lot, but it's like, I'm happy to know that I'm content no matter what.

[Lucy Hale]

Listen, I freaking feel the same. Because ultimately everyone could leave you, you could lose everything you have. Every person could bail on you. So, I mean, you gotta. You gotta love yourself the most. And we're.

[Rachel]

I.

[Olivia]

We've.

[Lucy Hale]

I feel like we're also taught that if you put yourself first, you're, You're. You're selfish. It's like, no, you have to be the most important person in your life.

[Olivia]

Right?

[Lucy Hale]

You have to. You have to take care of yourself and your needs and your wants.

[Olivia]

Because it's hard to do that, though, once you have kids.

[Lucy Hale]

Because I'm not a mom. I'm a dog mom.

[Olivia]

But no, but it isn't. There's a balance there because I do definitely fall to the putting her first. But that's a choice. It is life to me. It's a choice.

[Rachel]

Love my children more than life, but I do put. Put my.

[Olivia]

You do. Your needs come first.

[Rachel]

They do.

[Olivia]

Because mine don't always.

[Rachel]

I'm unhinged if I'm not hinged.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

You know what I mean? Like, I have to. In order to be a good mom, a good wife, a good friend. Like, if I were to be like, well, I can, then everyone would get the shit version of me.

[Olivia]

Right. Right.

[Rachel]

So I think it's important.

[Olivia]

No, I know. It's something I'm working on because I definitely don't ever. Like, I always put her.

[Rachel]

But that's a comfort zone too.

[Olivia]

It is. That's true. I definitely can use it at times, too. Yeah. Like, oh, sorry, I can't. It's also.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's a little something to fall back on sometimes.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, you know.

[Olivia]

Yeah, definitely. Like, you know, like, dates and stuff. Like. Oh, sorry. Oh, my God.

[Lucy Hale]

The best, the best excuse.

[Olivia]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Lucy Hale]

Because it's real.

[Olivia]

It's real, right? It's like one of the greatest Things about having kids, you're like, oh, sorry, gotta leave early, can't help clean up dinner. Or, oh, sorry, sorry.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, I use that with my dog sometimes. Elvis is so sick right now. Can't make it.

[Olivia]

Sorry. I know, but listen, wait, that brings.

[Rachel]

Up a great question. How do you feel about white lies? White eyes, pretty little liar.

[Lucy Hale]

Never heard that one before. Listen, I think, like, the best example is if a friend says, does this make me look fat? Or does this.

[Olivia]

Is this.

[Lucy Hale]

Does this make me look bad? I think it's okay to white lie at the expense of not hurting someone. Like, if you're like, how does that.

[Olivia]

What if you're in a relationship and you've cheated and then you like the last.

[Rachel]

That's different.

[Lucy Hale]

That is different.

[Olivia]

That's a. Well, no lie.

[Lucy Hale]

Because that's not a white lie.

[Olivia]

That's. She's like, straight up lie.

[Rachel]

Your boyfriend's best friend.

[Olivia]

I know people that will literally be like, well, I'm not going to tell.

[Lucy Hale]

Them because I don't want to hurt.

[Olivia]

Because it'll just hurt them.

[Lucy Hale]

Well, yeah, okay, so white lies, I feel like I call them embellishments. So I think it's important for me to live truthfully and honestly with the people in my life because I respect them and I respect myself. So I'm at the point in my life where I don't lie about the big things. If I cheated, yes, I would tell them.

[Rachel]

I thought you're gonna be like, yes, I would lie.

[Lucy Hale]

Yes, I would lie repeatedly. No, but it's just because that's in line with my values, is to be honest and to hold yourself accountable. But, I mean, I think white lies can be okay.

[Rachel]

See, I've gotten off of them.

[Lucy Hale]

But what were you lying about?

[Rachel]

Well, like someone said, do I look fat?

[Olivia]

Right.

[Rachel]

I make it a game with myself. Like, how can I be honest?

[Olivia]

Oh, boy.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, it's not my favorite thing you've done. So, yes, there are ways.

[Olivia]

Those are not manipulate the lie.

[Rachel]

Yeah, it's not a manipulation. It's true. Like, I. I don't love those on you.

[Lucy Hale]

Or I don't love those on you is great.

[Rachel]

I don't love those on you. Or someone's like, have I gained weight?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

What if they straight up ask you that?

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, what do you say?

[Rachel]

Well, I am my mother's daughter.

[Olivia]

I know this.

[Rachel]

And if I say to my mom, have I gained weight? She'll go five pounds.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, oh, right.

[Rachel]

But if a friend comes to me in earnest and is like, have I gained weight? And I think they have. I'll say maybe a little.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Olivia]

Really?

[Lucy Hale]

There's a kind way to do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hell, yeah. I don't know.

[Olivia]

I think it depends on the friend, though.

[Rachel]

Well, you know.

[Olivia]

No, no, you would. Oh, you're always straight up.

[Rachel]

I would say maybe a little wow right now.

[Lucy Hale]

And I respect that. I respect people who can say what they feel and what they mean, but I think it all comes back to the people that are like, yeah, no.

[Rachel]

It'S a good thing to play with, though.

[Lucy Hale]

It is.

[Rachel]

Like, how can I find the truth in this moment?

[Olivia]

Right. Yes. You have gained weight.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, a little.

[Olivia]

Just a little.

[Lucy Hale]

Do you know what I mean?

[Olivia]

Even if it's £20. Yeah.

[Rachel]

If it's a lot. I have friends that have gained a lot of weight, and they've asked me.

[Olivia]

I'm just kidding.

[Rachel]

And they've asked me, and I've been honest with them, and I've said, I do believe that, you know, you have gained weight.

[Lucy Hale]

You.

[Olivia]

She's always on. Olivia's always on me, though, because, like, I was trained to kind of white lie, to preserve, to be polite. To be polite. Like, all of it. And she will call me out on it. That's not true.

[Lucy Hale]

You need friends like that. I know.

[Olivia]

And I'm like, God damn you, Olivia. And. Cause she's right.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

And then I can't lie.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. And then it. Yeah. It's like a fine line of being a pushover to. I never want to be that. I relate. I relate. But this is good. Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's fun to play with.

[Olivia]

Yeah. I don't know if it's fun.

[Rachel]

I don't call myself. Someone comes to me and is like, have I gained weight? I'm gonna be honest with them.

[Rob]

Yeah. It just doesn't sound.

[Olivia]

I feel like you've lied to me about that, though, because I know when I have gained weight in my life and asked you, you don't ever say. I've said, maybe a little.

[Rachel]

I've said, you still look amazing. Truth. Because she's never gained weight to a point where she still doesn't look amazing. I'll say you still look amazing, but I understand how you feel.

[Lucy Hale]

Wow.

[Olivia]

That's you telling me I'm fat.

[Rachel]

That's me telling you that. I understand if you'd want to lose a few pounds, because I get it. But you still look amazing. That's not right. Now, have you said that to me? I think I did say that to you at one point when you were really fat. No. And I did say that to you. When you thought you gained weight, I was like, I still think you look amazing, but I understand how you feel. If you want to, like, rein it in for a minute, I get it.

[Olivia]

That means you noticed that I gained weight.

[Rob]

Was it right after she had briar? Right.

[Rachel]

I was like. I was like, I think you look fine, but I got you a peloton.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Here's the thing to me, and I had this conversation with one of our best friends who used to white lie a lot. And I was like, just so you know, you're not doing it for me because I value honesty. So if you're doing it because you think you're making me comfortable, you're wrong. I would rather you tell me something that makes me uncomfortable than try to keep me comfortable. You're doing it to keep you.

[Lucy Hale]

You comfortable. It's all about. And it goes back to, everything is personal.

[Olivia]

Yeah. That's so true. Wow.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay. You know, so if the barista says, how do we make your coffee? And it's bad, then what do you say? It's. It's not great. I've had better.

[Olivia]

Good point. Because then there's like a, like, politeness.

[Lucy Hale]

Or if you go to the nail salon and your nails aren't quite right and they say, how do you like it?

[Olivia]

It.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Are you the person that is like.

[Rachel]

So if the barista said to me, how did we make your coffee?

[Olivia]

I would say, and it was awful.

[Rachel]

You would say, oh, if it was awful.

[Rob]

It was so. So, yes, it was awful. You can say it's awful.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Rob]

But if it's not.

[Lucy Hale]

But if it's. It's. If it's not the best one you've had.

[Rachel]

If it's not. I mean, I wouldn't like. You don't need to, like, go around hurting people. Like, if a guy. If a guy's like, do you like my penis? And you're like, it's not the best one I've ever had. You know what I mean?

[Lucy Hale]

It's like coffee. It's not my top five, but I.

[Olivia]

Feel like I'm brutally honest, though, in those ways. You are.

[Rachel]

I might just say, like, it's fine.

[Lucy Hale]

Or see, like, those kind of white lies. It. They're so.

[Rachel]

But. But he said if it's so. So if it was awful, I would say, maybe I don't like good coffee. Or, like, I don't like the.

[Olivia]

You'd find in a lie. You'd find another lie.

[Rachel]

No, I don't like good coffee.

[Olivia]

She does not like strong.

[Lucy Hale]

Like don't like good coffee.

[Olivia]

No, I like.

[Lucy Hale]

You like bad coffee. Starbucks. You know that you like bad coffee.

[Olivia]

Coffee.

[Rachel]

I don't like, like good coffee. So I'd say maybe something like that. Or I just say I appreciate it because I still did appreciate them making the coffee.

[Lucy Hale]

Got it.

[Olivia]

You'd be nice no matter what.

[Rachel]

I'm always nice. I'm not mean.

[Olivia]

I feel like you'd be like cute about it and like be like playful. Like it's not the best, but I appreciate one star.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

One big star. Yeah. I don't know. I could never not be polite though. Like if you go to someone's for dinner or like, you know, and. And it's awful or you really don't like it.

[Rachel]

See, that's the game. Like how can I find the truth?

[Lucy Hale]

Right.

[Rob]

When someone makes you a big dinner and it's not good, well, it's still a sweet dish.

[Rachel]

I say thank you and they ask.

[Rob]

When they ask how you liked the lasagna, I.

[Olivia]

You would say it's.

[Lucy Hale]

You say.

[Olivia]

You would not. You would not be brutal with food.

[Lucy Hale]

There was a lot of love put into this meal.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

I can't.

[Lucy Hale]

Such a southern thing.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

No way. I would try and find a way. Way to. I would try to find a way. I'm not perfect. I know you guys are all looking at me like I'm perfect.

[Lucy Hale]

But. Yeah.

[Rachel]

But I do try is all. Like, even with kids, right?

[Olivia]

What?

[Lucy Hale]

Like you.

[Rachel]

You would white lie to your kid?

[Olivia]

Oh, if they like drew something horrific and were like really proud of it.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

And be like, it's awful. See, it's. But it's like, what if you're different areas of late?

[Rachel]

Yeah. Like do you lie or do you say, no, I'm late.

[Lucy Hale]

So I'm never late. It's like a snake of mine.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

I'm always like early, early. But if I am. But I. But I'll always give people a heads up. But living in la, it's. I. You always blame it on the traffic.

[Olivia]

Well, yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Even if.

[Olivia]

If.

[Rachel]

Cuz that.

[Lucy Hale]

I mean, it's always the traffic's fault. No matter what.

[Olivia]

No matter what.

[Lucy Hale]

Nope.

[Rachel]

So even if you left late, I wouldn't.

[Lucy Hale]

But if I did.

[Rachel]

Yeah. I love that you wouldn't.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

But if I did.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

I would say I'm a little frazzled this morning. Please forgive me. I'll be there soon.

[Rachel]

Exactly.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

So that's not a lie.

[Lucy Hale]

That's not a lie.

[Rachel]

Unless you're like super calm that morning.

[Lucy Hale]

Right.

[Olivia]

Yeah. No, it's not.

[Rachel]

It's not.

[Olivia]

I mean, I respect it, and I respect punctuality.

[Lucy Hale]

Me, too.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Panty dropper.

[Olivia]

Panty dropper. Speaking of panty dropper, we always end our conversations with a game.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, okay.

[Olivia]

Oh, we're done.

[Rachel]

I don't want to be done.

[Lucy Hale]

I know. Rob's loving talking about reincarnation and tapping.

[Olivia]

Into dreams he's manifesting in his mind right now. This to be over.

[Lucy Hale]

He's counting on a minute.

[Olivia]

What game we play. Which one do I say? Rob.

[Rachel]

Rob's gonna be mad at us that we didn't do any of our cards, that he.

[Olivia]

Well, we're gonna use these.

[Rob]

Chad, do a couple, then, real quick.

[Lucy Hale]

Did you guys improvise? Okay.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Can we just ask you this really quick?

[Olivia]

Oh, you wrote them out.

[Rachel]

Rob, you precious little thing.

[Olivia]

Rob.

[Rachel]

If your best friend died tragically.

[Lucy Hale]

Jesus Christ, Rob.

[Rob]

We came up with these together.

[Olivia]

Whoa.

[Rachel]

Oh, my God.

[Rob]

Okay, can we talk about how real.

[Lucy Hale]

Quick how they shot dad?

[Olivia]

No, it's just that they died tragically, though.

[Rachel]

Tragically. Like on. You know what I mean?

[Rob]

Like, married with kids.

[Rachel]

Married with kids.

[Olivia]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel]

Would you be okay? Wow. Marrying their partner, raising their kids.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay, wait, let me get this straight, okay? My. Would I be okay? Is it. Is it my friend's dying wish that I marry their spouse?

[Rob]

They're okay with it?

[Olivia]

So that, like.

[Rachel]

So, like, if I were to.

[Lucy Hale]

Tragically hot. Like, what are the.

[Olivia]

He's got to get traction. Like, I need a visual here.

[Lucy Hale]

Listen, I. I would absolutely swoop in and want to help with the kids.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Yes. I mean, this is like the makings of a movie here, though, right? Like, friend tragically dies.

[Rob]

A boating accident.

[Lucy Hale]

I think it was a boating accident.

[Olivia]

Jesus.

[Lucy Hale]

I. I mean, I would feel like if it happened organically. No, there. That would be too. Too much shame. I feel like I would be living a life of shame if I, like, married my friend's spouse.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

But I would definitely want to take care of the kids.

[Olivia]

But what if you knew before she passed that she had already wished this for her family?

[Rob]

It's a terminal illness and she's been dealing with.

[Lucy Hale]

And it was her dying wish. I guess I had to. Their family. Olivia's a psycho.

[Rachel]

Well, because I've said that, like, if something were to happen to me, Rachel.

[Lucy Hale]

You have to marry my husband and.

[Rachel]

Take care of my children.

[Lucy Hale]

Would you do it, Rachel?

[Olivia]

I mean, yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

He's a doctor guy. He's a doctor.

[Olivia]

I mean, I could get down with Jeff. Sure.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Rachel]

Because, like, leaving, you know, like, that would be a gift to. To her.

[Olivia]

I would really be giving her a gift and her.

[Lucy Hale]

But what if I'm already with someone every third night? What if you're already. What if you're with.

[Olivia]

That raises.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rob]

They tragically died together.

[Lucy Hale]

Everyone's dead.

[Olivia]

What's happening?

[Lucy Hale]

All right, then I'd have to, I guess.

[Olivia]

No other option.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay. I'm serious about what these other questions are.

[Olivia]

How do you feel about your partner going to a strip club?

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, that's a great question. You know, independence is super important to me in relationships for me, and I feel like everyone needs independence to do what they need to do. I guess it's the intent behind it. If he's going with friends for a bachelor party, sure. Of course. If it's a problem, if he's finding himself by himself on Wednesday night, if he's finding himself there, you know, every evening, like, he's not getting something. There's.

[Rachel]

There's.

[Lucy Hale]

There's like a. Yeah, but. But I think that there are certain things that I want in a relationship that would fall, like, under the same category as a strip. Does that make.

[Rachel]

Yeah, I don't want your dude to.

[Olivia]

Let you go to a strip club.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. Yeah, but, like, I just think being free and independent within a relationship is, like. Would be. It's. It's very important for me. So if. If they needed that, if they said, hey, listen, this is important to me, I need to go to the strip club. It's. It's my me time. It's self care time. I'd say, all right, baby, you do.

[Rob]

You know, and every Tuesday morning.

[Rachel]

Every Tuesday morning. Oh, my gosh.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

That's a great answer.

[Olivia]

That is a great answer. I respect it. In my head, I'm like, okay, but what about this? This?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah. I mean, do we want to do another one or do you want to go?

[Rachel]

I mean, I want to keep doing them, but it's up to how fun.

[Lucy Hale]

Let's.

[Olivia]

You want to do one more? Lou, you pick the last one.

[Rachel]

These ones are a little tame.

[Lucy Hale]

Give me a good one. Give me a dark one.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Do you have one, Rachel?

[Olivia]

A dark one?

[Announcer]

Well.

[Olivia]

Or whatever.

[Rachel]

These are just like, not if you murdered something.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, yeah.

[Olivia]

I'm gonna read two, and then you can answer. Which one? Okay. Speaks to you more. Have you ever had a crush on your partner's best friend?

[Lucy Hale]

Laugh.

[Olivia]

And have you ever checked your partner's phone? Is that one okay?

[Lucy Hale]

Yep.

[Rachel]

These are good questions.

[Lucy Hale]

I'm gonna answer the one that I.

[Rachel]

Don'T have to lie about.

[Lucy Hale]

So I. I've done both of these. Yes, I. But I'll answer the. Have I gone through my partner's phone? Yes, I have, but it's because you're only going through your partner's phone if you don't trust them. If you have. No, if you guys are.

[Olivia]

It's an intuition thing.

[Lucy Hale]

Honest.

[Olivia]

Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

Honestly and openly. You don't need to go through the phone. I did and I did.

[Olivia]

I did.

[Lucy Hale]

Was a thing.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Like, because I knew something was going on and I was right.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

And I ended up being right.

[Olivia]

It's like after. You're like, that's right, motherfucker.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, I know, but it. I mean, once you open Pandora's box with that, like, it's game. I know it's game over, but.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. I hope I don't ever have to.

[Rachel]

Run into that place.

[Olivia]

Yeah. Yeah. But it is. It's a trust thing for sure.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Have you done it, Rachel?

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Anytime I've done it in my life is because I had an intuition and I was right.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah. It's like one of those things. You can't help it because it's like speaking to you so strongly, you know?

[Rachel]

Right.

[Olivia]

And they're not being honest. And, you know they're not being honest. I mean, I was a lot younger, but, you know, I was right.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's like when I know the seas candy box is in the other room, and even if I'm supposed to gift it to someone, I have to go eat it.

[Olivia]

It's like that kind of feeling. She did that the other day.

[Rachel]

Oh.

[Lucy Hale]

It's okay.

[Rachel]

I've never looked in Jeff's phone. It's not like just because I trust him, but I'm also like, I don't want to create something exactly Right.

[Lucy Hale]

Like.

[Olivia]

Mm.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

Like, once you can, you can create that. Yeah.

[Rachel]

Yeah. So I'm like, once you trip over that line, you're also inviting it into your life.

[Rob]

Yes.

[Rachel]

Well, it's.

[Olivia]

It goes the same as, like. It's the same mentality of, like, being with or an ex boyfriend, but, like, purposely not like following anything on them on Instagram or just like, shut down.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

That is. That is just recipe for a disaster once you start saying, oh, they're following someone new. Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

It's just bad. So you just. If you just don't start. For me, if I just don't start.

[Olivia]

Right.

[Lucy Hale]

I'm fine.

[Olivia]

You make the choice because then it becomes right. It's Not a good. It's never going to do any good.

[Lucy Hale]

No. And like you said, it just invites more toxicity and obsessiveness thinking into your life.

[Olivia]

That's right.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, that's right. Not avoid. Just don't.

[Olivia]

Just don't do it.

[Lucy Hale]

Just don't do it.

[Rachel]

That's a boundary.

[Lucy Hale]

Right?

[Olivia]

Right. Yes. On that note.

[Lucy Hale]

On that note.

[Olivia]

Mary Berry, one night stand.

[Lucy Hale]

Wait, this is fun. Because I love. Fuck Mary, Kill.

[Rachel]

That's what it is.

[Lucy Hale]

Mary Berry, one Night stand. F. Marry. Kill.

[Olivia]

We say fuck Mary, kill. We also feel more comfortable if it's like Mary. Did we even wonder?

[Rachel]

Did we.

[Olivia]

Texas. I remember one of them.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Rachel]

Oh yeah.

[Olivia]

Ashton, who were the other ones?

[Rachel]

Machine Gun.

[Olivia]

Oh, Machine Gun Kelly and Travis Scott. Yeah, okay.

[Lucy Hale]

Travis Scott, Machine Gun Kelly, Ash and Kutcher. I've. I know none of them. Okay. Oh, this is bad. Okay. Kill Travis Scott. Okay, do I have to give reasonings? No, no, no. Kill Travis Scott.

[Olivia]

Like willing to.

[Lucy Hale]

They're like Mary Kutcher, Kelly.

[Olivia]

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

[Rachel]

Yeah, that sounds appropriate.

[Olivia]

It sounds totally appropriate.

[Lucy Hale]

All right. Yeah, I have my reasonings.

[Olivia]

But wait, I kind of want to know some reasonings.

[Lucy Hale]

No.

[Olivia]

Okay, that's fair.

[Lucy Hale]

There, I'll leave it.

[Olivia]

I will say the reason I support the Machine Gun Kelly is because like when I saw Megan Fox being interviewed and she's like, well, whatever daddy wants. And I was like, oh, he's a daddy. He's a daddy.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Olivia]

I mean, there's something obvious.

[Lucy Hale]

They're kind of perfect together.

[Olivia]

They are like really?

[Rachel]

Look at.

[Olivia]

I mean, look at her.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

I love hearing her talk about the twin flame thing involving him.

[Olivia]

Yeah, yeah. Well, there's obviously like, there's something, you know, something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I respect it.

[Lucy Hale]

Well, great, great.

[Rob]

We'll bring him in.

[Lucy Hale]

Great. Yeah, they're like all in different.

[Rob]

He's like, what the.

[Olivia]

Yeah, he's like, yeah. No, I really respected your answers and everything you taught. Thank you for being so open. Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

This was so nice.

[Olivia]

I just love you. You're just so beautiful and an amazing soul. Love the frequency in here.

[Lucy Hale]

We covered a lot of ground.

[Olivia]

Yeah, we did. But we really appreciate your.

[Rachel]

And I didn't close to being done.

[Lucy Hale]

I know.

[Olivia]

I'm always like, you know, just part one people's time.

[Rob]

You can come back.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah. Anytime you want.

[Olivia]

Love to have you. I'm also going to call Josh after, Schwartz after.

[Lucy Hale]

And we're going to set up Uriah.

[Olivia]

Excuse me.

[Lucy Hale]

And we're going to play sisters.

[Olivia]

Yeah, we're going to play Sisters.

[Lucy Hale]

And I'm going to read. You can heal your life.

[Rachel]

Yes, you are.

[Olivia]

We have our own list.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lucy Hale]

This is great. What?

[Rob]

All this will be done by the next one?

[Olivia]

Yes, exactly. We'll check back in.

[Rachel]

Exactly.

[Lucy Hale]

Book club.

[Olivia]

Love a book club.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah, me, too.

[Olivia]

Like, I'm gonna. I'm going to get Daisy Jones in this. I'm gonna read that.

[Rachel]

You're gonna actually go get it.

[Olivia]

What do you mean?

[Rachel]

You're not gonna order it? You're gonna go.

[Olivia]

No, I'm a believer to support tiny, independent. Not even tiny. Just independent bookstores. I'm a big fan of that.

[Lucy Hale]

I agree.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Lucy Hale]

Small businesses all the way.

[Olivia]

That's right.

[Lucy Hale]

Panty.

[Rachel]

Do you remember when we went out and I first introduced you to my friend Alana, and she was like, oh, my God, you are so. She, like, flipped over Rachel. She was like, oh, my God, you are so cute. You remind me of me. Said that.

[Olivia]

That we were young.

[Rachel]

We were like, yeah, like 19.

[Announcer]

20.

[Olivia]

19. I do remember that. Alana cracks me up.

[Rachel]

I know.

[Olivia]

She's hilarious.

[Rachel]

You remind me of me.

[Olivia]

That's a person with confidence. I couldn't love Lucy more, you know, if I tried personally.

[Rachel]

Have you tried?

[Olivia]

No, it's not possible, because I love her so much. We ran into Lucy right after we did this interview with her. We got to see her twice in one day.

[Rachel]

That was amazing, too, because that was amazing. Yeah, she was.

[Olivia]

She felt what we felt. And that is always satisfying, you know?

[Rob]

What was the. When you guys realized you were both there, what, did you run up and yell at each other?

[Olivia]

Lucy was like, oh, my gosh. She's like, it's so funny. I was gonna say something to you today that I thought you would be here at this thing.

[Rachel]

It was like, no way.

[Olivia]

Oh, my God. And she had her best friend with her, and Olivia was with me, and we were just all together.

[Rob]

Yeah. It wasn't there.

[Olivia]

Oh, Rob's never invited.

[Rachel]

I didn't see anyone else that had a penis. That had a penis.

[Olivia]

Well, maybe they did.

[Rachel]

Maybe they did. I don't know.

[Olivia]

But also, it's a new year, like we said. Now, guys, new show.

[Rob]

We might change the name.

[Announcer]

What?

[Rachel]

To Rod Ideas.

[Rob]

Rod Ideas?

[Rachel]

What are you talking about?

[Olivia]

Do you have any New Year's resolutions?

[Rachel]

Great question.

[Rob]

Great question. How about you at first, Rachel?

[Olivia]

No, I asked it. Don't you flip it.

[Rob]

I don't have any currently. I might by the time this airs.

[Rachel]

Do you ever.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Like what?

[Rob]

I don't. I don't know.

[Olivia]

Okay. Rob You.

[Rachel]

You.

[Olivia]

I really need to, like, really, really, really focus on just being present.

[Rachel]

Oh, yeah, you do?

[Rob]

Yeah. I agree.

[Lucy Hale]

I agree.

[Rob]

It's a great resolution for you.

[Olivia]

Oh, you just agree for me. It's not like you agree for yourself.

[Rachel]

So.

[Rob]

I think she was saying the same thing.

[Olivia]

She was. She was. But then I didn't know which way you were going.

[Rob]

No, no. I think that's a great resolution for you.

[Rachel]

But you're not alone in that.

[Olivia]

No. A lot of people have to work on that.

[Rachel]

It's really hard to be present.

[Olivia]

Really hard to be present.

[Rachel]

You know, my whole thing I say about that, go, if you are outside of this moment, if you're thinking about the future, it's a fantasy. If you're thinking about the past, it's a memory. So if you're going to have a fantasy, which anytime you're thinking about anything outside of this moment, you are, you may as well win in your own fantasy.

[Olivia]

I'm gonna record you saying that because I think I'm gonna have to keep hearing that.

[Jennifer]

I did.

[Rob]

I think that just happened. I have an idea.

[Olivia]

What?

[Rob]

What if we suggest New Year's resolutions for one another?

[Olivia]

Oh, good idea.

[Rachel]

That's brilliant. Let's do it.

[Olivia]

Rob.

[Rachel]

I feel like he's going to come up with a lot for Rachel.

[Olivia]

And none for you. Well, because I'm perfect, you know, Perfectly imperfect.

[Rachel]

Just kidding. This is actually my jam.

[Lucy Hale]

I know.

[Olivia]

This is really fun.

[Rachel]

I am coming alive. Rachel.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

If you have a New Year's resolution, what will you do to create that intention? And what will you do to anchor it in? And what will you do to have accountability towards it? Because if it's just a thought, right.

[Olivia]

Action, it's nothing unless there's action. I don't know. My. What I said about being present, it's so hard. It is so hard. It's like you almost have to be, like, anytime it comes. So my mom gave me this exercise growing up. Anytime a thought comes in like that, you know, that's negative or whatever, right? Because it's not like me winning in a fantasy. When the thoughts come up, right, she's like, visualize yourself holding up a huge stop sign, you know, in front of you, and your thought and yelling, stop. And that takes you out of it. So I do try to do, like. I literally. I picture mini me inside my brain.

[Rob]

Lizzie McGuire, a little cartoon.

[Olivia]

I never saw Lizzie before, but that's an exercise she would always give me as a kid because I. Oh. You know, thoughts are hard to control. Right.

[Rachel]

Well, so. So here's a question.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Does your brain respond in the negative like that?

[Olivia]

What do you mean?

[Rachel]

So. So what I've been learning lately about, like, shadow work, right. Is to take all the parts of yourself and not to disconnect or to stop them, but rather to kind of incorporate them, maybe give them new jobs. Okay. So along those lines, if you were to not stop it, because when we. It's like a kid. If you're like, nope, don't touch that.

[Lucy Hale]

Right.

[Olivia]

They want to touch more.

[Rachel]

They want to touch it more. And so. So when you hold up a stop sign or tell yourself to stop doing something without giving it something else to do, it creates conflict.

[Olivia]

Right?

[Rachel]

Right. So rather than a harsh, aggressive conflict, is there a softer, kinder redirection that you could give yourself?

[Olivia]

Can you give me one? Like a yellow light?

[Rob]

Is this your resolution, too? This is a really long winded resolution for Rachel, Rob.

[Rachel]

What do you mean?

[Olivia]

We're just talking here. Thanks for sharing.

[Rachel]

Me? No, no, no. There's no point of making a resolution if you don't have the tools to back it up and do anything with it.

[Olivia]

Because I'm already. I'm struggling. Like, you know, recently I've been struggling about. Well, yes, I struggle all the time, but, like, just actually being present and it's really, like, bringing up a lot for me, and I'm struggling. I get it, like, deeply.

[Rob]

Well, then your resolution for her should be enacting a tool that will help her hold herself accountable.

[Rachel]

Oh, you insist my resolution for Rachel?

[Rob]

We were playing this game, and then you went off on this.

[Rachel]

We always go off on tangents. I know Rob always wants us to stick to a program and a format, and we just like to free.

[Rob]

Stick to the answer of the question that was just asked and presented.

[Rachel]

Well, I'm just asking her if. Yeah, so if my. If I were to gift Rachel a New Year's resolution. That's what we're doing, it would be to actually acquire and implement tools to be present.

[Rob]

I think she probably needs more specific, actionable.

[Announcer]

Right.

[Rachel]

But guess what? Her inner wisdom knows better than mine. So I can sit there and be like, you should do yoga. You should meditate. You should this, you should that. But the truth of the matter is inside, that girl has the answers. So it's better to ask the questions of. Of what would she do? And let her intuition guide us.

[Olivia]

Stressing out over here.

[Rob]

Yeah, you're just giving her more homework and.

[Olivia]

No, I'm struggling. I'm currently struggling. My resolution, huh? Well, you're picking one for Olivia is following your.

[Rachel]

Oh, wait, I thought you were gonna come with your.

[Olivia]

Oh, fuck my tool.

[Rachel]

Were you gonna say following your own guidance?

[Olivia]

Yeah, yeah. Following your own advice. Following your own shit. No, it's true, too, because she's the best at telling anyone. And it's so helpful and so insightful. But then when it comes to her.

[Rob]

I think part of a good New Year's resolution, though, is that it's less ambiguous and more actionable.

[Rachel]

Yeah. So in what way do you want me to follow my own advice?

[Olivia]

You need more willpower when it comes to cease cancer. No, I don't mean like that. I don't mean like that.

[Rachel]

Interesting. Guys, I don't know if you're picking up what I'm picking up, but she has.

[Olivia]

Like, she cannot help. She had a gift for her son's teacher of Ste's candy that we bought together. We're like, okay, we have to get the teachers. Let's get them C's. A big box of it. But it's sitting in her house. She could not notice. Open it and eat all of the candy inside.

[Rob]

So you're gonna. That's your resolution? Don't eat Seize candy, but you're gonna send her a box every month and see how she can resist?

[Rachel]

I'm not gonna lie. I'll be honest. That's bringing up a lot in me. Like, just like your shit with being present. If you tell me I can't eat sugar or candy, I start to get, like, really upset that your mom used to not. No, my mom let me. I mean. Yeah. No, it's like a weird thing. I love sugar.

[Rob]

Oh, you. It's like an addict thing that's being activated.

[Rachel]

But that's not my New Year's resolution.

[Olivia]

All right.

[Rob]

I got one for Rachel.

[Olivia]

What?

[Rob]

All right. Once a week.

[Olivia]

Oh, he's actually giving me a job.

[Rob]

Yeah, that's.

[Olivia]

That's.

[Rob]

That's a. That's a practical resolution.

[Olivia]

Oh, fine. What?

[Rob]

Once a week, I want you to do something to get out of your comfort zone.

[Rachel]

I love that.

[Rob]

Something that makes you. I know you have, but I want it to be like, why is it.

[Olivia]

Coming at me from all sides?

[Rachel]

You get to come at us equally.

[Olivia]

Why do I feel like you guys have more things for me than I do for you?

[Rachel]

Because we're just the ones talking.

[Rob]

We're the ones present in this conversation.

[Olivia]

I have a problem with my brain.

[Rachel]

I think you have brain damage from the car accident.

[Olivia]

I do, actually.

[Rachel]

No, I know, but I think that that affects your ability. Like, I think there's actually a blood flow thing where it's like part of your present zone may have been affected.

[Rob]

I got another one.

[Olivia]

Is there a zone in your brain? Oh, great.

[Jennifer]

Rob.

[Olivia]

What?

[Rob]

I also want you to start using your. Your Google calendar.

[Rachel]

I do. Use it more.

[Olivia]

I thought I was very. I thought I was very up to date on it.

[Rob]

Your doctor's appointment today was not on the calendar.

[Olivia]

It wasn't?

[Rob]

No.

[Olivia]

Well, that came up on Monday. Like, I had to call and just make an appointment.

[Rob]

Should go on your calendar.

[Olivia]

Sorry, Rob. I thought I was so good. You know what I'm gonna do?

[Rob]

I mean, you have been. I did see, like school volunteering on there Friday.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Oh, but like, Misha's interview didn't go on there well.

[Olivia]

Cause I didn't know that either until the night before.

[Rob]

Well, what you should do then is put like a hold.

[Olivia]

Okay. I don't know how to do that, but I've been trying.

[Rob]

You've been doing good.

[Olivia]

I've been trying. Rob.

[Rob]

You've been doing good.

[Olivia]

Who sees this calendar?

[Rob]

Just me.

[Olivia]

Just you.

[Rob]

I mean, you have access to it, but I think she's as good as using calendars as you, so.

[Rachel]

That's not true. Look at my calendar.

[Olivia]

Are you kidding?

[Rob]

I'm kidding.

[Olivia]

I'm kidding.

[Rob]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[Rachel]

My calendar is popping.

[Rob]

But I don't think you're like, toggling her calendar on and off and checking in.

[Rachel]

I only check it when it comes to. I do. You know why? Because I will check her calendar to schedule my stuff. Because I know that that won't be recording time for us then. Because I'm smart.

[Olivia]

What's Rob's Lou?

[Rob]

You got one for me?

[Rachel]

Yes, but I don't know if it would be fun.

[Olivia]

It doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be fun.

[Rob]

I don't think it would be fun.

[Olivia]

I'd rather if it was torture or.

[Rob]

Google Calendar and Comfort Zone. I'm gonna get you to like something that you can.

[Olivia]

I have a lot of anxiety.

[Rachel]

I'm gonna get you having anxiety about things.

[Rob]

This.

[Olivia]

I didn't sleep.

[Rob]

I'm going to get you like a Comfort zone calendar. And you've got to like, Mark on the calendar the day that you do it.

[Rachel]

I have. I have people doing that. Rob. No, I have a self nurturing tracking sheet for Comfort Zone. And they'll track. I'll have them track, like literally how many days a week. Like aim for three days a week.

[Rob]

It's just kind of like you're not going to get in trouble if you don't do it. It's just a way to keep yourself accountable.

[Rachel]

You know what's a really good book is Shonda Rhimes book, the Year of Yes. It's a really great book.

[Olivia]

I've heard that's good.

[Rob]

All right. What do you got?

[Rachel]

Oh, I was gonna say. I don't know how to phrase it. Like, because you know how we say you're Captain Contrary, ready to jump to the opposite conclusion?

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

What if your new.

[Olivia]

You had a year of yes.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Rob]

A year of yes.

[Olivia]

Yeah. Rob is always the first to. No matter what it is. Like, Rob, let's use this chair. No, we need to use this other chair because xyz, like it's every little thing.

[Rob]

I feel like it's mostly just you and I between each other though.

[Olivia]

Are you trying to say I'm contrary?

[Rob]

Yeah, I think you do it to me too.

[Olivia]

He just flipped it and tried to say I'm contrary.

[Rob]

I think I get that way with you. I don't think I get that way with you so much.

[Olivia]

Does he? Is he contrary with you?

[Rob]

Sometimes, yeah. But not all the time. It's not at every single time.

[Olivia]

It's a lot of the time.

[Rachel]

Well, it's.

[Olivia]

Well, I think it's both of us.

[Rachel]

It's your nature is to. I think and it's also, and I'm going to tell you this as a compliment, I believe and think you have really good taste. I really do. And I think you know what you're doing in so many areas that your instinct is to just do whatever you.

[Olivia]

Think is the right way.

[Rob]

I agree with that.

[Olivia]

I'm very strong headed like that too though. Like I'll be like, no, I know what's right.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Rob]

I think part of it too is I like to communicate why I think that is. Like I used to not communicate that. And just similar to the Lucy Hale, her throat chakra. Her throat chakra, yeah. Where I try to intentionally voice that opinion, but there may be a less contrary way of doing it because I think. I think for me it's more than I want to discuss this or that I'm. See, I'm telling you what my intention is by it and I'm fine saying that. Like this is what my opinion is. I think this is the case. I maybe phrase it in a way that is more contrary, but that's what I'm trying to do in those cases.

[Rachel]

No, I get it. I don't Think your intention is ever to just be contrary?

[Rob]

Whatever Rachel says is wrong?

[Rachel]

No, I think you know a lot of things, and I think sometimes. Yeah, right.

[Olivia]

No, but you. You think he's contrary most of the time, though.

[Rachel]

I think his nature is to be contrary.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Your natural reaction. Okay, so that's your. You have to be more conscious of it and try to be a little more open.

[Rachel]

And it's just being more open.

[Olivia]

I'm contrary all the time. I really don't.

[Rachel]

Contrary to your belief.

[Olivia]

Contrary to your belief.

[Rob]

I don't agree, but that's why I said I think it's with me that you get that way.

[Olivia]

Do you think that's true?

[Rachel]

She doesn't get that way with me.

[Olivia]

Do you think I'm always that way with him? I mean, you're on the text chain. I think I'm pretty agreeable. I'm like, all right, like, we're gonna do it here. Da, da, da. Okay. Yeah, I'm pretty agreeable.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah. He's gonna say no.

[Rachel]

That's. That wasn't my experience.

[Olivia]

I would say I'm pretty agreeable.

[Rachel]

I don't know, because it's so hard because I'm just in my own perspective.

[Rob]

Part of it is you're not always present. Well to agree or disagree with.

[Olivia]

I do have a hard time. I definitely drift off pretty easily. I don't know. Maybe I was never diagnosed with something. I don't know, like ADD or something. Yeah. I don't know.

[Rachel]

Oh, I'll go ahead and. I'm not a doctor, but I could go ahead and diagnose you right now. You've just been diagnosed. You're fully add.

[Olivia]

I am.

[Rachel]

You need your little fidget spinners.

[Olivia]

Oh.

[Rachel]

Like, concentrate. And, like. What are you talking about?

[Olivia]

I do need them.

[Rachel]

Those things you trail off.

[Olivia]

I do trail off.

[Rachel]

How?

[Olivia]

You always.

[Rachel]

School.

[Olivia]

I mean, I didn't love school.

[Rachel]

I know, but what was it like for you?

[Olivia]

I couldn't pay attention unless the teacher was, like, really interesting.

[Rob]

A guy and a male and a male and hot.

[Olivia]

And hot.

[Rachel]

You had big muscles and kiss me.

[Lucy Hale]

Behind the locker real tall.

[Olivia]

Yeah, I know. I don't know. Yeah, I have a hard time focusing, but not when I like a guy and he's talking to me.

[Rachel]

Then I can focus for a minute. Oh, because I remember one of your ex boyfriends, he was like, you know, being in a relationship with Rachel, I'll just be like, I just had this, like, most deeply profound spiritual experience, and I learned so much, and she'll just Go, I love puppies. She'll just trail off and be like, I love puppies.

[Rob]

Is there a resolution we can give her that, like, involves her following up on.

[Olivia]

He just wants to. He is just, like, chomping at the bit.

[Rachel]

He's like, let's get this bitch present.

[Olivia]

I mean, meditation, But I think that.

[Rob]

Could be a tool to help her stay present. At, like, the end of every night, you go through your text messages and respond to our chain with any unresolved questions.

[Rachel]

Rachel, to respond to any text message.

[Olivia]

From me, that would be great.

[Rachel]

He's like, I don't care how present she.

[Olivia]

There's sometimes where I'm like, boom.

[Rob]

It absolutely does. It absolutely does. But then I'll, like. We'll be talking, and Rachel will tell you something. I'm like, that bitch is responding to Olivia.

[Rachel]

Because she'll be like, we'll be, like, asking questions on the thread, and then I'll get a side text from Rachel. Like, I saw the cutest dog on Instagram.

[Olivia]

It's so true. I did see the cutest dog on Instagram.

[Rob]

So that's another resolution. Every night before bed, you answer all unanswered questions on our text chain.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Olivia]

Oh, that's a lot of questions. Okay.

[Rob]

Yeah, but are we pinned in your phone?

[Olivia]

Pinned. And we text so much. It always comes up to the top.

[Rob]

I know, but do you not pin any of your text messages?

[Rachel]

No. I don't even know what that means.

[Olivia]

What do you mean? So, like, it, like, puts it to the top.

[Rob]

Yeah. You've got a group of people.

[Olivia]

Oh, God, no. I've never met. That would confuse me.

[Rob]

At the top.

[Olivia]

That would confuse me.

[Rob]

Well, no, it doesn't, because it still shows up. No, chronologically.

[Olivia]

I don't like it.

[Rachel]

He's so organized in his brain.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rob]

I'm saying it would help, though, if.

[Olivia]

Yeah, I hear you every night, but I see your message all the time.

[Rob]

Yeah. And then you. And then you don't respond, and they drift. 14 text messages is down. So you put. You guys are up on mine. Natalie's up there.

[Olivia]

Who else is up there? Rob, give us your top eight.

[Rachel]

What's, like, whatever it is.

[Olivia]

Whatever it is.

[Rachel]

My.

[Rob]

It's Natalie. You guys, Jeff, Dax, and Monica. Dax. Monica.

[Rachel]

Are there two? Dax and Monica.

[Olivia]

There's them together.

[Rob]

Them together.

[Olivia]

And then end of it.

[Rachel]

Oh, got it, got it, got it.

[Olivia]

Okay. Did you give Olivia one?

[Rob]

Yours is tougher. I gave you three.

[Olivia]

You. You gave me three? You have nothing for Olivia.

[Rob]

I mean, I feel like the comfort zone One is whatever.

[Olivia]

I think Olivia's. That's good for Olivia, too. And she does it, and she. It's an active practice, so I'm already trying that. Yes.

[Lucy Hale]

What?

[Olivia]

I mean, it's an act. That's what I mean by active practice.

[Rachel]

Yeah, it's active.

[Rob]

Yeah. You're already actively doing a lot that.

[Olivia]

It's hard to your term. Activated instead of triggered.

[Rachel]

It's feeling right.

[Lucy Hale]

Right.

[Olivia]

Yeah, Because I'm fucking activated all the goddamn time.

[Lucy Hale]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's better because then when you hear trigger, you're just like, huh. Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Wait, you really don't have. So my only resolution is to stop eating See's candy.

[Olivia]

No. I told you to follow your own advice and your own. You do it all the time. She'll call me, and she'll be doing the exact opposite of what she tells everyone else to do, and she can go there. You've been good lately, though.

[Rob]

Though.

[Olivia]

Lately, I feel like you're pretty mentally on it. On it?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

What else? Look at her. She's like, oh, you don't have anything for me.

[Rob]

You're already doing a lot of work. That's why it's hard to.

[Olivia]

Yeah, I do a lot of work.

[Rob]

You do a lot of work on yourself. You can even finish that statement without laughing.

[Rachel]

It makes my face work.

[Olivia]

I do. I've been mourning the loss of my therapist very hard.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Well, I would say New Year's resolution is to reach out to a new therapist.

[Olivia]

I have some. I'm supposed to reach out to.

[Rachel]

Oh, I know a good New Year's resolution for me to read more. Because a lot of times I go to sleep with the kids and I don't force myself to get up. And then when I do force myself.

[Olivia]

To get up, you watch.

[Rachel]

Don't watch a show.

[Rob]

All right. I got a good resource resolution for you.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Rob]

Once a month, read a book.

[Olivia]

Yeah, I want to read more. That's great.

[Rob]

Once a month.

[Olivia]

We need a book club. Yep.

[Rob]

All right, let's do it.

[Olivia]

I'll read that book again. Why don't we do that one first? Because we just talked about it.

[Rachel]

Yeah. And then we'll put it out and everybody can read it with us, and we each.

[Rob]

We each pick a book.

[Olivia]

You should talk to someone every month. That's a great New Year's resolution that we're all reading the same book.

[Rob]

Yeah. Now you owe me one.

[Olivia]

I told you.

[Rob]

No, she.

[Rachel]

No, I did.

[Olivia]

Oh.

[Rob]

I'm not allowed to say that. That.

[Rachel]

See, he's already seen it.

[Olivia]

He's like the Jim Carrey movie.

[Rachel]

Liar, Liar.

[Olivia]

No. Yes, man. That's you. You are now Jim Carrey. And yes, man, you have to say yes to everything. Rob, we want.

[Rachel]

Salad.

[Rob]

I don't. I. I concede to most of the things that you want to do. Does he just give you a little bit of attitude along the way?

[Olivia]

A lot of attitude.

[Rachel]

But, guys, we can't say we're gonna do a book club and not follow through.

[Olivia]

Olivia made us read a Jesus book.

[Rachel]

I didn't know it was a Jesus book.

[Olivia]

I got a bunch a gangload of people together and look, nothing against Jesus believers. It's just not our thing particularly. Right. I still got things from it and, you know, know, it was an eye. It was eye opening. But she got all of us together to read a Jesus book, and we didn't know going into it, and she got us all on board for this book club. There's like 20 of us. I feel like.

[Rachel]

Was it the first book?

[Olivia]

It was the first and last.

[Rachel]

No, didn't we do the other one, too?

[Olivia]

I didn't do it. I was out.

[Rachel]

The other one was great. It was the Glennon Doyle one.

[Olivia]

Oh, yeah, you did start that. But I don't think anyone ever finished it and didn't. It didn't keep up because the first one was the Jesus one. And it was.

[Rachel]

I wouldn't let anyone quit either.

[Olivia]

No, she wouldn't let anyone quit. I'd be like, what.

[Rachel]

What you're resisting is good for you. Just show up. And it was a good thing to just show up and get through it.

[Olivia]

And this was a perfect example of how I was in school reading this book. I was like, okay, glance, glance, glance, glance. Okay, I can take a line there. A line there. Okay, this is my. This is my report on the chapter.

[Rob]

You just went to, Flipnotes.

[Rachel]

And everyone would give, like, these earnest replies, like, you know, I could see how this really relates to where I'm at now. And I don't da. Rachel's were thrash. She'd be like, this is.

[Olivia]

That's not true. Maybe not.

[Rachel]

You would get it. You would get a little angry.

[Olivia]

Well, it was very activating, that book.

[Rachel]

Yeah, it was. It was.

[Olivia]

It was. It was like, if you don't do this, you're gonna go to burn in hell. And I was like, wait a minute.

[Rob]

Did you pick the Bible?

[Rachel]

No.

[Olivia]

No, it was something literally, it was like, you have to do these things or like. Like, God hates you and you're going to hell. Like, if you don't do X, Y, or Z the way we tell you to. So I had issues with someone telling me things I had to do or like my life is. I did not like that.

[Rachel]

I don't even remember what it was. I had heard it was a great book.

[Olivia]

What was it? Can we say? Maybe we should.

[Rachel]

I don't.

[Olivia]

I don't remember either.

[Rachel]

I honestly don't remember.

[Olivia]

I blocked it out all.

[Rob]

All right. So then we will recap the book once again post postpartum last episode of the most month. So end of January.

[Olivia]

Okay. We don't have to do the book. I said if you don't want.

[Rachel]

No, we think it's a good book.

[Olivia]

Okay.

[Rachel]

He already has it.

[Rob]

I'll get an audio book version or something.

[Olivia]

Audiobook. I cannot. I love reading an actual book. In my hands. I know we said that you're dyslexic, though.

[Rob]

You don't mind that she's not.

[Rachel]

She can read. I can read.

[Olivia]

So mean about your dyslexia.

[Rachel]

Bullies me, doesn't he?

[Olivia]

Yeah, he does.

[Rob]

I was concerned for you that you should be concerned.

[Rachel]

I'm glad someone finally is. Geez.

[Rob]

Yeah. Giving you a challenge of something that.

[Rachel]

No, I can read.

[Rob]

I know you can read, but you. It. You may be a very slow reader because of your dyslexia.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Rob]

I might be slower than confused reader. So I don't know if you preferred audiobooks as a result of that.

[Rachel]

I like both. Like Untethered Soul, which is like one of my favorite books I listen to all the time. And it's a great thing to just. Rachel is asleep.

[Olivia]

I do that sometimes. Go to sleep. No, like, you know when you're dating someone and they go on and on about stories? I'll just do this in the middle of the story. Like, on purpose.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Rob]

I always go, where's.

[Rachel]

Do you need help finding the point? Get to it. Like, I get like.

[Olivia]

Get to it.

[Lucy Hale]

Come on.

[Olivia]

Yeah. I'm like, okay. All right. All right. Also, like, yes.

[Rob]

To wonder why you're still single.

[Olivia]

That was so mean. That little version of myself in my head. That's an eight just fucking died, Rob. That was mean. Rob.

[Rob]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Olivia]

It is why I'm still single. I can't. I fall asleep mid sentence anyways. That was very mean. And I don't like how I feel now. You know what? We just came off the holidays. New Year's. New Year's resolutions. And now I want to cry. Thanks, Rob. I just like giving you.

[Rachel]

Well, I made a comment today. That was nothing even close to the truth. And she started crying, and it couldn't have been further from something that the irony be taken serious.

[Olivia]

I took that moment and did make it all about me, because I started crying.

[Jennifer]

Like, wait, what?

[Rachel]

Is this real? Is this happening?

[Olivia]

I know I'm in a really fragile place, you guys.

[Rachel]

Yeah, invulnerable menopause can be. I'm just kidding.

[Olivia]

That could be happening. Who knows?

[Rob]

You were really sweaty today when we were taking those photos. I'm just kidding.

[Rachel]

Not like there's anything wrong with menopause. Let me just be clear.

[Olivia]

Not getting a period. What's wrong with that?

[Rachel]

I don't know. I was talking to my mom about it yesterday.

[Olivia]

Oh, I don't want to know. You sound like you were talking about it and. And it's not good.

[Rachel]

No, she said it wasn't. She didn't have that horrible of an experience. I just asked her because they say you usually take after your mom. So I was like, what was your experience?

[Olivia]

My mom was menopause.

[Rachel]

Same.

[Rob]

I remember my mom's last period.

[Olivia]

What you do?

[Rachel]

Do tell. Excuse me.

[Rob]

We were on vacation in Hawaii, and she went. Went into menopause. Right when we went. Went on vacation.

[Rachel]

What does that mean, she went into menopause?

[Rob]

She realized she was starting menopause and that, like, she was entering that.

[Olivia]

Interesting. I wonder what happened in Hawaii in the moment where she was like, you guys.

[Rob]

I don't remember.

[Olivia]

Did she sit you all down?

[Rob]

I don't remember if that was, like, when her last period happened or when she knew she was going through menopause. That was a weird trip, though. We were. Well, for others.

[Olivia]

Oh, my God. What?

[Rob]

Well, we were on a cruise, and it was mo. Like all old people. It was an old person cruise. This was, like, their gift to us. After we all graduated Princess Cruise. I was 20, and my brother just graduated high school. It was all old people. And then I remember being at the buffet, like, the first morning, and I had a friend that I played soccer with that I hadn't kept in touch with.

[Olivia]

Like, that you brought on the cruise with you?

[Rob]

No, he was just randomly on this cruise. I hadn't seen him since, like, junior high, elementary school. We hung out, like, the whole week on the cruise because it was all old people and us. And then, like, three weeks after that cruise, he died.

[Rachel]

Oh, geez, Rob. What happened?

[Rob]

He, like, had a heart attack in.

[Olivia]

His sleep, like, out of nowhere.

[Rob]

Out of nowhere.

[Rachel]

Oh, no, Rob. That's really traumatizing. Were you traumatized?

[Rob]

No, no, no. I mean, it was sad. I was on tour when it happened, and I was, like, texting with him because we were going through his city that, like, next week. And then I got a call.

[Rachel]

How old was he?

[Rob]

20.

[Rachel]

That kind of just freaks me out, guys.

[Olivia]

Today just feels heavy, and I don't know. And I just don't like the story. And I. I just. That poor kid. No, 20.

[Rachel]

Today's light, light flow.

[Olivia]

Wow.

[Rachel]

It's a new year.

[Rob]

Okay, all right, well, on that note.

[Olivia]

Jeez.

[Rachel]

I want. I want to change the vibe.

[Olivia]

The vibe is really dark.

[Rachel]

Let's change it. Yeah.

[Olivia]

The vibe is so dark, you guys. I don't. I feel. I feel lonely inside.

[Rachel]

Jennifer Vega called. Should we put her on? Oh, my God.

[Olivia]

Please, just see what happens. Plug it in. Plug it in. Plug it in.

[Rachel]

Hello, Jennifer?

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

You're on speaker. You're on with the broadiance.

[Jennifer]

With an.

[Rachel]

Audience with the broadiance.

[Jennifer]

Listener with the broad ideas. I'm on with broad ideas.

[Rachel]

Yeah. Do you have something you'd like to share with the world?

[Jennifer]

Let's see. I actually was calling to see if you wanted to join this personal training gym with me. But is there something specific you'd like me to share with the world?

[Rob]

Oh, her energetic virgin virginity story.

[Rachel]

She likes energetic sex, Rob.

[Rob]

All right, let's see. The most energetic.

[Rachel]

What's the most energetic sex you've had?

[Jennifer]

Okay. It literally just happened to me in October at our teacher training retreat in Sedona. Oh, my God. So I don't know how to explain this to you. You. But I chose a few people to work with me while John was leading us through this practice in the middle of the room, like, the lights are off. Like, it's like we set a really intimate setting, and John was guiding us through this practice. And we're laying on zafus and zabutons. And so people that are in the practice are in the middle of the circle. And then there are people who are holding the energetics of the space from the outside. And so I was working with two of my girlfriends and then one of my guy friends who are in the program with me. And as John was guiding them through this practice, like, they weren't touching me, but it was all, like, energy through the hands. Oh, my God. Yes. I had an energetic orgasm.

[Olivia]

Okay, wait, but, like, an energetic orgasm means a real orgasm?

[Jennifer]

Yeah. So it's a real. It's a real orgasm and a real climax. And the point is of this. Yeah, the point of this exercise was not to take it to orgasm, but to really, really breathe in. Like, and have the people who are practicing with the person who was lying down, which is me, is have them really feel into the energetics of the climax and then bring them up and then bring them back down. And then for me, it was about breathing in the pleasure and. And really moving it through my body. Because what happens a lot with women, if women give themselves permission to actually feel and if they have a partner who is invested in a woman's orgasm and pleasure, what happens is sometimes it's really just focused in the pelvic area and in the genitals. And what I'm learning and starting to do is really work with moving it up and through and down my body so that. So that the orgasmic pleasure can be felt everywhere and not just in my genitals.

[Rob]

So this was. You're sitting in the middle of a group of people that made this happen. No physical touch.

[Jennifer]

No physical touch. I mean, I. At one point. At one point, you know, my friend was holding my hands and, like, I was squeezing them or like, I was, like, grabbing her leg or something, but there was. I had one of my friends behind me, and then one of them was in front of me, and then my friend Jason was on the side of me, and they're all moving energy through their hands throughout my body. And you can feel it. Like, you could if you're open and receptive to it and your practice partners know what they're doing. Like, you could feel the energy. Like, I would feel it getting. Getting really warm around my genitals. And then like. Oh, there. I'm sorry. There was some physical touch. There was, like, tickling of the arm.

[Olivia]

When they put their finger inside my vagina.

[Rob]

Yeah. Are you. Are. Is everyone naked in this?

[Olivia]

No.

[Jennifer]

No, no. So I should say the work that we do is very tantric in nature. However, there's no touching of breast, ass, or genitals. And there's also no exchanging of bodily fluids. So there's no kissing. There's nothing like that. So when we're practicing with each other, it's all based on the energetics. But, you know, sometimes we get into practices and, like, you know, if we're called to, you know, we can sit on each other's laps and stuff. So. Yeah. Is there some dry humping that happens with people? I'm sure there is. Nobody ever been in the dry.

[Olivia]

I love a good old Basel drive hump.

[Rachel]

It sounds like sexual Reiki.

[Olivia]

Right? I was thinking the same thing. With that energy heat.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, that's actually a really great way to put it because it's sexual reiki, and it's like a healing, and it's a moving of energy. So it's also my belief with that, because this is my personal experience, is when I put myself in a situation like that and I'm willing to explore intimacy from that perspective and also in front of people, it's very taboo. Taboo for me, but because it's so taboo, it helps to relieve the shame of my sexuality.

[Rachel]

I get that.

[Jennifer]

You know, and it makes. Yeah, and it makes. Helps me to connect more to, like, my birthright of pleasure, period.

[Rachel]

Yeah, it's very vulnerable. Well, it sounds to me like we need to have you on and, like, really, really take, like, a super deep dive.

[Lucy Hale]

Okay.

[Rachel]

An energetic deep dive.

[Jennifer]

We're gonna have some energetic sex. Are you okay with that, Rob?

[Rachel]

Let's do it once a month on broad ideas.

[Lucy Hale]

Oh, man.

[Rachel]

All right, I'll call you back. I love you so much.

[Jennifer]

Okay, love you. Bye.

[Olivia]

Bye.

[Rachel]

Oh, yeah, we said we wanted to change the mood.

[Olivia]

Thanks, Jen.

[Rachel]

Thanks, Jen.

[Olivia]

Uncle Jennifer.

[Rob]

Thanks.

[Lucy Hale]

Bye.

[Rachel]

That was a headgum podcast.