FULL SHOW: Pursue Me Date, Alexis’ Identity Theft + Jeff’s Mom’s Song of the Week? (6/24/26)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Brooke and Jeffrey – “Pursue Me Date, Alexis’ Identity Theft + Jeff’s Mom’s Song of the Week?”

Podcast: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning
Episode Date: June 24, 2026
Publisher: iHeartPodcasts
Main Hosts: Brooke, Jeffrey, Jose, Alexis
Featured Segments: Battle of the Tinder Dates, Second Date Update, What's On Your Mind, Jeff’s Mom’s Song

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Episode Overview

This episode of Brooke and Jeffrey delivers a full hour of hilarious banter, embarrassing stories, dating mishaps, and signature listener call-ins. The main themes revolve around dating expectations (from both men and women), social awkwardness, family dynamics, and the everyday weirdness in the hosts’ lives.

Highlights include:

• Alexis’ failed undercover attempt to use a friend’s Lululemon discount (and getting the account flagged).
• A “Second Date Update” featuring an exhausting game of cat-and-mouse: a woman expects relentless pursuit, leaving listeners debating dating etiquette.
• “Battle of the Tinder Dates” brings wild, cringe-inducing tales.
• A surprise about Jeff’s heritage of parody songwriting, topped with a pitch for his mom’s bizarre bee parody.
• The team’s recurring banter about current events, such as World Cup fever and quirky American food trends.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. What's On Your Mind?

[09:20 – 17:20]

The hosts go around sharing recent personal stories:

Brooke

• Struggles with a few days of no internet at home. Her kids react as if it’s the apocalypse.
  • “My son is already gaming whose house he’s gonna stay at because it makes our own unlivable.” (11:36)
• The team jokes about kids having no idea how to survive without Wi-Fi.

Jose

• Invited (with no idea how) to a swanky, secret Starbucks World Cup party and gets starstruck by former NFL’er Chad Ochocinco.
• Accidentally flirts with Chad after a photo:
  • “You look so good…” (13:14)
  • Jose is mortified, leaves 10 minutes later, and refuses to tag Chad in the photo.

Alexis

• Attempts to use a friend's Lululemon discount by pretending to be “Pedro.”
  • “And then they go, so are you Pedro?...and I’m like, yes, that’s me.” (14:28)
  • Is caught and the account is flagged; she flees, never to return.
  • Hosts joke she’s probably banned from all Lululemons now.

Jeffrey

• Reveals his mom did radio song parodies in the 70s/80s before him.
• Mom wants to debut her latest parody “Stinging and Deranged” dedicated to bees (a parody of “Singin’ in the Rain”).
  • “Some of her song titles were ‘Chocolate Toenails’ and ‘How to Potty Train a Spider.’” (15:51)
• He books his mom for four Sundays from now—before realizing they don’t do a show on Sundays.

✱ Notable Quotes

• “You can go back into our DVD collection.” – Brooke (11:24)
• “[My mom is] way funnier than I ever was, for sure.” – Jeffrey (15:54)

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2. Current Events Banter: World Cup & American Food

[00:57 – 03:06; 49:40 – 51:16]

• Group discusses Europe’s fascination with Buc-EE’s (mega gas station), “beaver nuggets,” and TSA’s “ranch problem.”
• “FIFA 15” meme: International fans gain weight from American food.
• “Americans say only 4XL shirts? That’s tiny.” (02:47)
• In Houston, BBC mistakenly picks a backdrop with “Houston Alps,” leading to listener jokes.
  • “No, the tallest thing in Houston is… the freeway overpasses.” – Brooke (50:21)
• “Nope, just another gorgeous day in the Houston Alps.” – Listener snark via social (51:11)

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3. Second Date Update – "Pursue Me Date"

[33:17 – 48:39]

Situation Recap:

• Sheena and Matt matched on Bumble.
• Matt persistently pursues Sheena with direct messages and repeated asks for a date. She rebuffs him each time, citing a busy schedule, not even agreeing to quick coffee, and eventually only replies with “Well.”
• When Matt finally pulls back, Sheena’s suddenly interested and wants him to keep pursuing—on her terms.
• Hosts are baffled, questioning the fairness of her expectations.

Key Moments:

• “I was kind of hoping he would get the hint and just keep pursuing me—because that’s what I feel a woman of my caliber deserves.” – Sheena (37:56)
• “It doesn’t matter, there’s no number on it. I just want you to pursue me so I know you’re serious.” – Sheena (46:28)
• “You deserve all the things that are coming to you.” – Jeffrey (40:41, delivers this deadpan)
• Matt: “It’s just a month I’ll never get back…” (42:08)

Hosts’ Tone:

• Sarcasm and incredulity, gently ribbing the idea that relentless male pursuit is reasonable in this scenario.
• Alexis: “She’s crazy.” (49:08)

✱ Notable Quotes & Moments

• “He’s providing a solution to meet your impossible schedule…and you have to at least consider that.” – Jeffrey, re: Matt offering to visit Sheena’s workplace (36:39)
• “You could’ve spent all the time you spent on the phone with us and had that coffee with him.” – Alexis (48:54)
• Final outcome: No date is scheduled; Sheena expects Matt to keep asking until it finally fits her calendar.

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4. Battle of the Tinder Dates

[19:45 – 26:22]

Two female listeners, “Goosey Lucy” and “North Pole Nicole,” share disastrous dating stories, competing to see whose are worse.

• Lucy: Receives a post-hookup “goodie bag” with string cheese, energy drink, and STD meds.
• Nicole: Date at a driving range devolves into her being “loosened up” in a Jacuzzi.
• Other stories involve a “pretend living together” test at IKEA, theft of restaurant silverware to make a nude Sofia Vergara sculpture, and catfishing by a grandpa whose grandson built his dating profile.

Judges (the hosts) vote Nicole the “Bypassed Bachelorette of the week.”

• “I mean…I guess good? I love to win, but oof.” – Nicole (26:53)

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5. Laser Stories and Trivia

[51:20 – 59:36]

• “Laser Stories” covers Florida Man using a massage gun on his eyeballs, a Kentucky “Definitely Not a Bag Full of Drugs” arrest, and more.
• Quick trivia quiz: “Win Brooke’s Bucks” features a contestant who likes mountaineering (and the hosts making risqué jokes).

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Notable, Laugh-Out-Loud Quotes and Moments

• “Did I just hit on him?” – Jose after awkwardly complimenting Chad Ochocinco (13:15)
• “I’m not the man here! That’s the man’s responsibility—to know your schedule.” – Sheena (45:41)
• “Teach their own.” – Jeffrey, after learning a Florida man massaged his actual eyeballs (56:44)
• “If you do use a washcloth, just wash it frequently and hang it up to dry in between uses. But as for loofahs, don’t use them… unless you’re this guy.” – Jeffrey, closing a ridiculous story (58:09)
• “We got a yes…whatever it was.” – Jeffrey, on Matt’s tepid agreement to pursue Sheena further (48:15)

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Content Summary | |------------|-----------------------------------------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:57–03:06| American Food & World Cup Banter | European fascination with Buc-EE’s, “FIFA 15” meme, and tourist anecdotes. | | 09:20–17:20| What's On Your Mind | Hosts’ hilarious personal life mishaps (missing Wi-Fi, discount fails, celebrity awkwardness, parody song heritage). | | 19:45–26:22| Battle of the Tinder Dates | Listeners share bizarre and cringeworthy dating stories; judged for “most tragic love life.” | | 33:17–48:39| Second Date Update – “Pursue Me Date” | Sheena expects relentless pursuit from Matt; group analyzes outdated dating norms and patience. | | 49:40–51:16| World Cup Fever: Houston’s “Mountains” | Internet roasts BBC for fake skyline with non-existent mountains in Houston. | | 51:20–59:36| Laser Stories & Brooke’s Bucks | Weird news stories (Florida man, bag of “not drugs”), quick trivia game versus a contestant, more host antics. |

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Episode Tone & Usability

The tone is quick-witted, irreverent, and self-aware—full of signature sarcastic exchanges. For listeners, this episode provides a hearty dose of humor, commiseration about modern dating, and relatable stories about personal fails. The Second Date Update stands out for its satirical take on traditional gender roles and dating expectations, sparking genuine debate among the team.

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In Conclusion

For new or long-time listeners: This episode sums up everything fans love about Brooke and Jeffrey—awkward life moments, hot takes on dating, and hosts unafraid to roast each other and their listeners. The step-by-step disaster of the "Pursue Me" date will stick with you—maybe enough to reconsider your own texting style.

Must-listen segment: [33:17 – 48:39] Second Date Update – the banter and bafflement are at peak form.

Most re-playable quote: “I just want you to pursue me so I know you’re serious.” – Sheena (46:28)

Transcript

[Brooke]

I cannot get over Alexis's story from what's on youn Mind today. It will live rent free forever in my head.

[Alexis]

Me either. I. Yeah, I went home ashamed, embarrassed. I was shaking with panic. It was not a good look for me. And I could never step foot in the mall again.

[Brooke]

You have to have to listen to at least the brand new what's on your mind. We've also got a new second date. This is your full hour podcast with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. But Alexis story makes today absolutely worth it.

[Alexis]

I'm glad you feel that way.

[Brooke]

Please comment. Please comment because we love to read your comments. What are you seeing right now?

[Alexis]

Well, speaking of that, Ziggy B. Said, I love listening on Wednesdays because my favorite part of the show is what's on your mind. I love hearing what goes on in your lives. It makes my life seem normal.

[Brooke]

Yeah, totally. You're so smart compared to us. I promise you that you're gonna definitely feel that today. Your brand new full hour starts right now.

[Jeffrey]

World cup is still the big talk around here.

[Jose]

Yes.

[Jeffrey]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And I'm just gonna go over a few notes you should probably be aware of. About a week ago, a European tourist went viral over his love of Buc EE's, the big gas station slash mega convenience store chain down in the South.

[Brooke]

Dude, he was so happy when he got food at 1 in the morning.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, loved it. All the Europeans, in fact, are discovering Buc EE's food, including a dude from Germany going off about their big bags of beaver nuggets.

[Jose]

Yeah, the beaver nuggets are so fun,

[Jeffrey]

which are just sweet, crunchy corn puffs, essentially.

[Jose]

That's an understatement.

[Jeffrey]

But again, that was all a week. So what has BUC EE's done since then? They've leased a complimentary shuttle van to go stop at all the major hotels in the Dallas area so that they can bring tourists straight to and from BUC EE's seven days a week.

[Brooke]

Dude, that's genius. I love that a gas station is finally helping people who don't have cars.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, smart business move. And we mentioned before how TSA has a ranch problem right now with people trying to drink ranch at the security line and smuggle ranch bottles back home to Europe.

[Brooke]

Is ranch the greatest thing that America has ever done?

[Sheena]

Probably.

[Jeffrey]

You know, it may be hard to argue with all of this, along with the other American food discoveries that are happening right now, has launched a brand new meme called the FIFA 15.

[Brooke]

Oh. Cause they're Kaden Wait.

[Jeffrey]

Similar to the college football freshman 15, but instead of 18 year olds on campus dining halls, this is international football fans discovering the heart clogging joy of American food.

[Alexis]

It's so true.

[Brooke]

They're probably in the merch areas being like, why would they offer a 4XL jersey? Yeah, you're gonna find out.

[Jeffrey]

And Americans say only 4 XL.

[Jose]

Exactly.

[Jeffrey]

That's tiny. Before you leave, ask yourself, have you gained the FIFA 15? Cuz if you haven't, you, you're doing America wrong.

[Jose]

Oh, man.

[Jeffrey]

We'll show you how to do America right by putting dog shock collars on our necks and answering trivia during the shock collar question of the day. Jake, let's show the Europeans how it's done.

[Jake]

Okay, today is National Farmer Day, where we admit that people who can keep a plant alive are officially superior beings.

[Brooke]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Jake]

While the rest of us are out here murdering succulents and forgetting to water our Basil for the 13th week in a row.

[Brooke]

No. Just get it.

[Jake]

New farmers are casually tilling 700 acres of land and keeping our entire food ecosystem running.

[Nicole]

Oh.

[Jake]

That's why today, in honor of the people who somehow turned dirt, seeds, and sunlight into French fries and cream pies, we're gonna find out how much you really know about farm food during a special not crappy, but crappy edition of plenty of 20. All right, let's start with the woman who loves crop tops, cropped hair, and cropping Xs out of her photos.

[Jeffrey]

The crop queen.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

Nine.

[Jake]

For hundreds of years, Europeans believed which crop was poisonous and refused to eat it. Was it onions?

[Alexis]

Oh, thank God for multiple choices.

[Jake]

Carrots, potatoes, or beef jerky. Fun fact, beef jerky grows on trees in Europe. Onions, carrots, potatoes, or beef jerky.

[Matt]

Kind of nice.

[Alexis]

You're on a road trip. Just pull over, grab some jerky off the tree.

[Jose]

That's where you're going to listen.

[Alexis]

A forest of beef trees. Yeah, there we go. Onions. Maybe because onions made you cry, they thought it was like a poisonous thing.

[Brooke]

Didn't realize. Good logic.

[Alexis]

Let's go, onions.

[Jake]

Shout out to Shrek. Alexis says onions. I'm sorry, Alexis. Potatoes was actually the answer. They arrived in Europe in the 1500s, but many people believe they caused disease and avoided eating them for generations.

[Jose]

And then they ended up being the best.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Nothing bad ever happened with potatoes ever again.

[Jeffrey]

Just gotta fry them.

[Michael]

Europe.

[Jake]

Come on. All right, we're over one, Brook, we're over to you.

[Michael]

Ooh.

[Brooke]

17.

[Jake]

Brooke, what crop did ancient Egyptians sometimes use as payment for workers? Was it Clif Bars? Cucumbers, garlic, or uncrustables.

[Brooke]

Interesting.

[Alexis]

I'd work pretty hard for an uncrustable.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I mean, it was like one of the wonders of the world is how they made the uncrustables. I'm going to have to take that one off the list, though.

[Jake]

Tasting.

[Brooke]

And we're going between garlic and cucumbers. Cucumbers. You know, I feel like I'd be disowned by my father, who hates cucumbers with a really unwarranted passion if I said it. So I'm gonna say they took payment in the form of garlic.

[Jake]

Right. Garlic was highly valued in ancient Egypt and was sometimes given to workers as part of their wages.

[Brooke]

Yummy.

[Jake]

Stinky paycheck. All right, Jose, we're talking about crops because it's National Farmers Day. How about a number from you?

[Jose]

Ooh, let's go five.

[Jake]

Which crop can absorb more water than almost any common farm crop, making it useful in flood prone areas? Is it watermelons, pumpkins, rice, or tapioca balls Exclusively for overpriced boba drinks?

[Jose]

Well, my first instinct being a foodie was rice. Just because you blood rice fields on purpose. Rice can soak up. It can like 10 times its original size or 5 times. So I'm just gonna go with my instinct and say rice.

[Jake]

He's sticking with rice. Just like rice. He's sticking to it. Jose's right. It's grown in flooded fields called patties and can thrive where many other crops would drown.

[Jose]

Crazy.

[Jake]

Especially the boba. Jeffrey, we're over to you if you get this right. Alexis is getting shocked as the only one with something wrong.

[Jeffrey]

The risk of being controversial, number two,

[Jake]

which crop was originally so small and that early versions were about the size of a cherry tomato? Was it an avocado? Was it coming back for another question? Watermelon.

[Jose]

Hey, tiny watermelon.

[Jake]

What about another one? Cucumber coming back again. Or Tic Tacs?

[Brooke]

Those are still tiny.

[Jeffrey]

Well, size does matter in crops and other areas of life. I've learned that. What's something that started small and shriveled, but a man came by and made it big and thick and juicy? Hey, Jeff, we're still talking about crops, right, Jake?

[Lucy]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

I thought I read somewhere Tic Tacs were like four times the size that they used to be in, like, the 1930s. I don't know if it falls under the category of crops, though, so I'm

[Brooke]

glad you came to that conclusion.

[Jeffrey]

I'm gonna say that it is. Cucumbers used to Be little tiny ones. And now they're big, fat, and juicy.

[Jake]

Jeffrey says cucumbers. I'm sorry, Jeffrey. Ancient watermelon were tiny and bitter. Farmers spent thousands of years breeding them into giant sweet melons that we know today.

[Jose]

I'd love to eat them like grapes.

[Jake]

Dude, it's like a melon ball after all my math. We need to go to a tiebreaker between Brooke and Jose. Brooke, we're going to you for this one. You get it right, you're safe. If you get it wrong, Jose is our champion.

[Brooke]

Bring it on, farmer Jake.

[Jake]

What fruit, please, Brooke. What fruit grows on the largest herb in the world? Is it banana? Is it watermelon? Is it pineapple? Or is it skittles?

[Brooke]

I'm actually almost positive that it's banana.

[Jose]

It is.

[Jake]

Are you wanna. You're almost positive?

[Brooke]

Do you wanna lock it up?

[Jake]

Brooke says bananas. She's correct. Banana trees aren't actually trees. They're giant herbs that can grow 20ft tall.

[Jose]

Crazy.

[Jake]

And that means Baruch has won. Today's 20 of 20.

[Jeffrey]

So Baruch gets to choose who gets shock chi. They're gonn in old McDonald's. Oh, for all the farmers on farmer's day, who's it gonna be?

[Brooke]

Brooke, I don't think Jeff's ever been to a farm, so let's make him

[Jeffrey]

safe three days in a row. Being shocked is a little bit abusive, but I'm gonna keep going.

[Brooke]

Maybe you should go to more Farms.

[Jeffrey]

Old MacDonald had a farm E I E I o and on his farm he had a cow E I E I ow that was your shot collar. Question of the day.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jeffrey]

You know how some parents put their kids on safety leashes? The other day, management asked me to start doing that to Jose. I can see that. Just to keep track, make sure he doesn't get distracted, roam off, get his tongue stuck to the glass of the break room freezer again. So yesterday he wore a little backpack, and I just held onto the attached rope and we went everywhere together.

[Brooke]

Yes, like a little monkey tail.

[Matt]

That's all.

[Brooke]

And the bunny system, it was great.

[Jeffrey]

We're in the elevator, the conference room, the bathroom together. That was fun. While you think I would know everything that he's been up to lately, he did gnaw through his leash and escape for just a couple hours. And I don't know where he went. So I'm very excited to hear what I missed as we go around the room and share what's been on our minds. Coming up right now, it's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I was on a diabetes awareness website.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Jose]

Oh, good.

[Jeffrey]

And it asked me if I would accept cookies. And I thought, is that a trick question?

[Jose]

The irony.

[Jeffrey]

But the question I'm about to ask everybody is not a trick. It's just what's on your mind.

[Brooke]

There it is.

[Jeffrey]

Where we go around the room to see what each member of the show's been thinking about lately. Starting with Brooke. Brooke, what's on your mind?

[Brooke]

Well, you know I'm switching Internet providers at our house, right?

[Lucy]

Fun.

[Jose]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Not very exciting. Not a big deal. I didn't happen to time it correctly.

[Lucy]

Right.

[Brooke]

So there's going to be like a three day gap when one service ends and the other one starts.

[Jose]

I hate that. Like when you move, you got to

[Jeffrey]

make sure it overlaps.

[Brooke]

You know? Big deal. Whatever. I didn't really. I didn't even think that was that big of a deal until we casually mention it to our children.

[Jose]

That's the end of the world.

[Brooke]

They are gobsmacked. They're like, what do you mean? And I'm like, it just won't be there.

[Jose]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

And they're like, mom, what does that mean?

[Jeffrey]

They don't know what life is like without the apocalypse is coming.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

They think that we're pranking them at first. I'm like, it's not a joke.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

Just like Internet.

[Jose]

That would be a good prank. Write that one down.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

How are we going to watch tv? And I'm like, you won't.

[Alexis]

Oh.

[Brooke]

Or you can go back into our DVD collection.

[Jose]

Ew.

[Alexis]

Nobody wants to do that.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

There's dust on them.

[Brooke]

How will I text my friends?

[Jeffrey]

Oh, God.

[Brooke]

So my son is gaming on whose house he's gonna stay at because it does make our own unlivable.

[Alexis]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael]

That is.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, yes, your beautiful home.

[Brooke]

But just thoughts and prayers to my children as they endure three whole days without Wi fi. I wish them the best.

[Michael]

Poor children.

[Jeffrey]

Maybe we should start a GoFundMe for just so that they can buy their own in those three day periods. Seriously, Jose, what's been on your mind?

[Jose]

Well, the World cup is happening in our city.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Jose]

And I was invited to some swanky Starbucks invite only World cup party over the weekend. And I have no idea how I got invited.

[Lucy]

Yeah.

[Jose]

So I get in there and I immediately see all these really like, like kind of hoity toity people.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Jose]

And rumors start and they're saying that some celebrities may show up to this event.

[Brooke]

And you're like, I'm already Here?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Jose]

I'm like, what celebrities?

[Jeffrey]

This is cool.

[Jose]

So I'm mingling, I'm eating the free food.

[Brooke]

Y.

[Jose]

Turn around. An NFL wide receiver, great Chad OO Cinco, just walks up right behind me, and it's like, hey, what's up? And I'm like, oh, my gosh.

[Brooke]

Oh, you recognized him?

[Sheena]

Yeah.

[Jose]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael]

He's huge.

[Jose]

He's a big. I mean, some people would recognize him.

[Brooke]

I mean, I probably wouldn't. I'm just saying, like, I know his name, but I wouldn't pick.

[Jose]

He's on a podcast now. He's a big soccer guy, but he was huge in the NFL for a long time, and he's, like, hosting this event apparently. And I'm like, oh, my God. So then I go, chad, can I get a picture?

[Jeffrey]

And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.

[Brooke]

That's cool.

[Jose]

And I walk up, and as I pull my phone, and I'm like, hey, can I get a video real quick? And he's like, no, you just asked for a selfie.

[Brooke]

Oh.

[Jose]

Oh, my bad. My bad. I'm so sorry. So I kind of, like, scrambled my phone, and I, like, get a quick picture, and I don't know why, but he's like, all right, thanks. He pats me on the back, starts to walk, and I'm just like, oh, man, you look so good.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God.

[Brooke]

And then I look.

[Jose]

I'm like, did I just hit on him?

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Jose]

Did I just accidentally kind of give. Put the vibe out?

[Jeffrey]

It's a lot of touching.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Jose]

And I touched him on the back. He didn't turn around. He didn't acknowledge me, and I was so embarrassed, I ended up leaving, like, 10 minutes later.

[Jeffrey]

I was like, you know what?

[Brooke]

Maybe you're actually avoiding him all night.

[Jose]

Make it more awkward. So, yeah, that's how I dipped out after embarrassing myself.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's good.

[Jeffrey]

But the picture came out good.

[Jose]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I posted it online. No one will ever know how weird that encounter was.

[Jeffrey]

Tag him. No.

[Jose]

Heck, no, I didn't.

[Alexis]

Are you kidding me?

[Jeffrey]

Alexis, what's been on your mind?

[Alexis]

Well, you guys know I like to try to save money on things.

[Nicole]

What?

[Alexis]

It's.

[Brooke]

So I work at.

[Jose]

Make other people pay for stuff.

[Alexis]

Yes. And so I was shopping at Lululemon,

[Brooke]

and it's a way to save money, Alexis.

[Alexis]

Well, one of my friends has a discount there.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Brooke]

So I was like, oh, I'll just

[Alexis]

use my friend's discount. So I go to checkout, and they ask for the phone number, and I'm like, leaning into it, and I'm like,

[Brooke]

oh, well, I just got a new

[Alexis]

phone, so I don't remember it, so give me a minute.

[Jeffrey]

New phone.

[Jose]

But your number doesn't change.

[Brooke]

Tending to be her.

[Alexis]

You're right. Yeah. So pull up the number. It takes me a minute. I give him the number, and then they go, so, are you Pedro? It's a guy's number.

[Brooke]

And I'm like.

[Alexis]

And I'm like, yes, that's me. And I'm really nervous at this point

[Brooke]

because I'm like, oh, God.

[Alexis]

Oh, God. And then she's like, you. You're Pedro? And I go, mm, yes. And then she's like, so I'm gonna need to see ID and then I went my purse, and I pretended to look for it.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, wow.

[Alexis]

It just made it worse.

[Jose]

Don't give up.

[Alexis]

And I was like, I forgot it. I forgo. And then she looks at me, and she goes, listen, I am gonna have to flag this account now and block it for you trying to use it.

[Michael]

And I was like.

[Alexis]

So I ducked my head, and I ran out in shame. No, because I was so embarrassed, I just. I just left. I didn't even buy the item. I couldn't get myself to admit.

[Jose]

And it looks like you were trying to steal now.

[Alexis]

I don't know, but I'm never showing face in there ever again.

[Brooke]

Well, I don't think you're allowed to.

[Alexis]

I'm sure there's a picture of you up at all with lemons.

[Michael]

Oh, my God.

[Brooke]

Jeffrey, what's on your mind?

[Jeffrey]

So I write in sync par parody songs on this show every week. But if you didn't know, there's somebody else in my family who was doing radio parody songs long before I was.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah, the nepotism runs deep in the radio parody world.

[Jeffrey]

My mom did work on the Dr. Demento show back in the 70s and 80s with Weird Al. And back then, parody songs were definitely different, you know, topics you probably wouldn't hear today.

[Brooke]

Okay, what do you mean? Like, give them an example so that

[Jeffrey]

they understand some of her song titles were Chocolate Toenails and How to Potty Train a Spider. Okay, so check mark on that. Mom was way funnier than I ever was, for sure. But she's continued to do parody songs her entire life, and that leads us to today.

[Brooke]

Yes.

[Jeffrey]

Where basically the last two to three months, she's been asking if she could sing one of her songs, one of her new ones on our show.

[Jose]

Hey, that's a little risky.

[Brooke]

Well, because some of them Are a little political.

[Jose]

They're very political.

[Jeffrey]

I'll tell you, this one is not political.

[Brooke]

Okay, let's do it then.

[Alexis]

Let's go.

[Jeffrey]

Specific song is for the bee population. And instead of the 1930s hit singing in the Rain with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, she wants to do Stinging and Deranged.

[Brooke]

Oh, because they're bees.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Yes. Not a kind look to the bee population.

[Jose]

They normally have a better light.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

So she's been really adamant about doing it on the show.

[Brooke]

Are we gonna do it? Are we gonna let her on?

[Jeffrey]

Are you all into it?

[Brooke]

Yeah, let's do too.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Jeffrey]

I booked her for four Sundays from now, so make sure to mark your calendars.

[Brooke]

We don't do a show on Sundays.

[Jose]

Oh, yeah.

[Lucy]

Oh, what?

[Jose]

Even I was into it. I forgot.

[Jeffrey]

What a bummer. I tried, Mom, I tried. Brooke says, no, we don't work on Sundays. Okay, sorry. I guess we'll have to figure out something else. But that's what's been on our mind.

[Jose]

Why you do that, bro?

[Sheena]

I'm on.

[Brooke]

Looking forward to be stinging and deray.

[Jeffrey]

Maybe next year. Text in 78592, tell us what's been on your mind. It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Getting a lot of texts coming into the text board at 78592 from listeners telling us what's been on their minds. This one says, absolutely love your show. Never stop listening. For years and years, I had an existential crisis on that fateful morning when you were no longer on my home station. But then I found your podcast.

[Jake]

Love you.

[Jose]

Yeah, if anybody else is going through that, we put the full show on the podcast.

[Alexis]

Well, if they're hearing this, that means they found it, I guess.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, it's like when you were blocked by your ex on Insta and on TikTok, but then you found him on Facebook. Another text says, I had a dream last night that I was hanging out with Jose and he literally told me I talk too much. I'm like, wait.

[Michael]

Hahahaha.

[Jose]

Yeah, it's definitely a dream.

[Brooke]

Yeah, definitely not reality.

[Jeffrey]

It's a compliment, though, that people are dreaming about you, Jose.

[Jose]

Yeah, that's rare.

[Jeffrey]

I'm assuming all your clothes are on for it. Know that another text says, I am the underwear thief.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's it. Is that the end?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. I'm hoping that's referencing something that we did on the show and not like the start of a national crime spree. I don't know what's going on. We should all count our underwear when we get home. Yeah, good point. But that's what's on our listeners minds.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jeffrey]

You ever tried to hold in a sneeze?

[Brooke]

I mean, yeah, yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Seems doable at first.

[Brooke]

Oh, man.

[Jeffrey]

Just a little tickle in your sinuses. But then the pressure starts to build.

[Brooke]

Oh, does it?

[Jeffrey]

Suddenly it's not just in your nose.

[Brooke]

Where is it?

[Jeffrey]

It's up behind your eyes. Then you feel it pounding in your forehead. Now your lungs are burning, the muscles in your chest and your throat are seizing up. And you're just rolling on the floor of that Wells Fargo, fighting it, torturing yourself, begging, don't let it go.

[Host/Announcer]

Just sneeze.

[Jeffrey]

Jeff, that's exactly what it's like to hold in a terrible date story. The longer it stays in you, the more it's gonna hurt, and you're gonna embarrass yourself.

[Jose]

I'm assuming you didn't get approved for that loan.

[Jeffrey]

No, I did not. But that's why we have two listeners ready to unload on us. Just like two big cleansing sneezes right to our face during a Battle of the Tinder dates. It's coming up right after this.

[Host/Announcer]

Two hopeless daters, one dating app that

[Sheena]

dares you to swipe right.

[Host/Announcer]

The question is, whose love life is more tragic? It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

[Jeffrey]

It is the dating game show that encourages you to stop sibling rivalry and start sibling intimacy.

[Brooke]

No, no, not the action.

[Jeffrey]

The playlist on Spotify, featuring all the best songs that turn your sister on. With Battle of the Tinder Dates, where two of our listeners go head to head to figure out whose love life is the most tragic. We'll go over the rules in just a second. But first, first, let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, she's aggressively protective of her dates at brunch to the point she snaps her teeth and honks at other women nearby. That's why they call her Goosey Lucy, look at you.

[Brooke]

Yeah, you were almost a swan. Lucy.

[Lucy]

No, I am here.

[Jeffrey]

She was too busy snapping at some woman walking by. And in the other corner, she keeps getting thirst trapped with shirtless pillow pics of Santa's elves and has DMed at least five of them. That's how she got the nickname North Pole Nicole.

[Brooke]

I get it. Those elves are good with hammers. You know a guy that can fix something?

[Nicole]

North Pole Nicole? That's me.

[Jeffrey]

Okay, he knows it. Here's how the game works. One contestant will start by telling One of their worst date stories. The other will try to counter with a nightmare story of their own. We're going back and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner. Let's kick it off with Goosey. Lucy, hit us with it.

[Lucy]

I was over at this guy's house.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Lucy]

And we hooked up right about around midnight or so. He tells me that he likes to sleep alone.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Jose]

Can't blame him.

[Brooke]

Is that just him saying that you need to leave?

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Lucy]

So I'm grabbing my stuff and he meets me at the door with this, like, little goodie bag.

[Brooke]

What do you get, a party favor.

[Sheena]

Yeah.

[Lucy]

I'm like, okay, well, what's this? It had, like, a little string cheese in it, a five hour energy drink, and some STD medication in it.

[Jeffrey]

At least he's looking out for you.

[Brooke]

He probably got to take it with food. That's why I gave you exactly.

[Jeffrey]

Sounds like a good man. I don't know what your deal is, Lucy.

[Brooke]

Cream or a pill or we don't

[Jeffrey]

need to do send it over North Pole. Nicole, can you counter?

[Nicole]

So the guy took me to the driving range, and after my first swing, she says we're gonna need to rebuild that technique from the ground up.

[Brooke]

Oh, God. Of course he's taking it on fire.

[Jeffrey]

At least he's trying to help.

[Nicole]

But when I asked what was wrong, he said that my swing was too tight and we needed to work it out and loosen me up in his Jacuzzi.

[Jose]

That is a classy guy.

[Brooke]

Did Jacuzzi? Jacuzzi's like hot tub is one thing, but when you say Jacuzzi. I don't know, there's just something about it.

[Jeffrey]

The semantics of

[Brooke]

hasn't been cleaned in a long time.

[Jeffrey]

We're on to round two. That means we need to step it up even better. Ladies. Lucy, what have you got?

[Lucy]

So this one time I went on the beach at sunset with this guy. I assumed I was there to see, you know, all the pretty colors and relax.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Lucy]

But he tells me, no, this was prime time to go kick over all the bad sandcastles that the kids made all day.

[Jose]

I didn't know somebody goes on the beach at night and kicks the sand castle.

[Brooke]

Oh, you just thought it was the waves. Yeah, yeah, sorry. No.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, Those are couples in love. Again, Lucy, I don't see what your problem is with all these men. Nicole, your turn.

[Sheena]

I was at a restaurant with this

[Nicole]

guy, and I noticed him slipping a fork into his pocket.

[Michael]

Uh.

[Brooke]

Oh.

[Sheena]

So I call him out. I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, and he played dumb, and I

[Nicole]

was like, empty your pockets, dude. And he does. And there goes the fork, along with. Get this. Two other spoons. And he admits that he did it because he's an artist. He needs all this silverware to make a sculpture of a nude metal Sofia Vergara.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God. Wow.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, I wasn't in on this until I hear that. I'm kind of curious.

[Brooke]

I'm still anti go to Goodwill, man.

[Jeffrey]

No, no, it's Sofia Vergara. That's why he needs two big soup spoons in order to pull it off. Okay, we're onto the third and final round. So, Goosey loosey, give it to us.

[Lucy]

A guy took me to Ikea because he said he needed to know how we lived together.

[Brooke]

Oh, do you mean how you would fight?

[Jose]

Yeah, that's like, a test of a relationship.

[Lucy]

No, he wanted us to, like, live together. Like, pretend in a room. Oh. Oh.

[Jeffrey]

What would it be like to live with you?

[Brooke]

Interesting. Okay.

[Sheena]

Yeah.

[Lucy]

So we're sitting in one of those, like, stage living rooms, pretending it was our house, just laughing and kikiing. And that's when another customer walked in. And my date tells me that he can't believe that I let a stranger walk into our home.

[Sheena]

Yeah.

[Lucy]

And I thought it was pretend, so I just laughed. And he actually was taking it serious and got mad. Man.

[Brooke]

Next thing you know, you're gonna use the table without a coaster.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Lucy]

So, you know, I had to end the date there.

[Jeffrey]

Hopefully you got some Swedish meatballs on the way out.

[Brooke]

That does sound good right now.

[Lucy]

I actually got a double order. I needed it to get over that date.

[Jeffrey]

You deserve that. All right, Nicole, last chance.

[Nicole]

All right, so my date met me at the bar, and I immediately realized I got catfished. This old man, he's in his 80s.

[Brooke]

Whoa.

[Nicole]

But he, like, doesn't understand. So I pull up his dating profile, and I'm trying to explain it to him, and so that's when I showed him, like, the young guy in all of his pictures.

[Lucy]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And he tells me, you look closer, and in every picture, you can see the old man in the background. In one, he's seeing the bird, and in another, he's sitting on a bench.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole]

It was his profile. And his grandson chose all the pictures for him.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Jose]

That's kind of funny and creative, actually.

[Jeffrey]

Probably just doesn't have a lot of photos to choose from.

[Brooke]

Anyway, he's like, where's Grandpa Waldo?

[Sheena]

So afterwards, I asked about his grandson, and do you know that this old

[Nicole]

man was like, ugh, you're not in his league.

[Alexis]

Whoa.

[Jeffrey]

Slammed by grandpa. Okay, we got the final bell there. That means we need to send it over to the judges to score it. Alexis, who you giving it to?

[Alexis]

I'm going to call. I got it right after that old man comment.

[Jeffrey]

One for Nicole. Brooke.

[Brooke]

Dude, no. Lucy had my vote with the STD

[Jeffrey]

goodie bag all tied up. Jose, you get the last say.

[Jose]

I think Nicole and the metal spoon.

[Jeffrey]

That means congratulations, North Pole. Nicole, you are our bypassed Bachelorette of the week. How does it feel?

[Nicole]

I mean, I guess good. I love to win, but, like, oof.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, yeah, oof is right. Text in 78592 if you want to appear on the next edition of Battle of the Tinder Dates, we got your phone tab coming up right after this. We talk about dating on this show a lot. And sometimes we hear tips on how to make it less awkward, more romantic. Well, in today's call, we do the opposite when we speak to a single dad before he's even gone out on one date, because he's been having a conversation for the last week with this woman named Juniper. But before they can officially meet up, he needs to talk to somebody else. And that somebody, unfortunately, is Brooke. You'll see how this goes in your phone tap right now.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.

[Michael]

Hello?

[Brooke]

Hello, I'm looking to speak with Michael.

[Michael]

This is Mike.

[Matt]

Who's.

[Michael]

Who's calling?

[Brooke]

My name is Rebecca Randi. I'm calling from the law firm of Dodger, Swindle, and Run. I'm sure you've heard of us.

[Michael]

No. No, I have not. What. What's this regarding?

[Brooke]

Well, I represent a woman that you matched with on a dating app. Her name's Juniper. Yeah, okay, well, it's my understanding that you two have not gone out yet, but you have talked extensively on the dating app. Is that correct, sir?

[Michael]

I mean, we've been. We've been texting for a while, but we've never met in person.

[Brooke]

We're on the same page. I just want to clear up a few things before the date. That's why I'm reaching out to you.

[Matt]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Michael]

Is it. Is there a problem?

[Matt]

Why.

[Michael]

Why would a law firm be calling me about this?

[Brooke]

Well, I'm just looking through my client's file here, and it says in the section with a dating prompt that states, you should not go out with me if, you know. Updating prompt. I'm talking about.

[Michael]

I mean, I've Seen those.

[Brooke]

Okay, well, Junipers reads, quote, you should not go out with me if you think I can be bought or impressed with your income, end quote. So she's hoping that you're not too well off, but also not completely broke.

[Michael]

And she had a lawyer asked me that.

[Brooke]

You can imagine it's not a comfortable question when you're just one on one.

[Jose]

So.

[Michael]

Yeah, I don't. I don't even know how to answer that.

[Brooke]

Well, based on that, I can just assume that you're not wealthy, so I'm just going to make a note of that right here.

[Matt]

What?

[Brooke]

Okay, next dating prompt. Juniper said you should not go out with me if you expect a casual encounter. Why are you hesitating?

[Michael]

Well, I don't know.

[Brooke]

You're still stumbling. Okay, you're not answering as quickly as I thought you would.

[Michael]

These are very odd questions and I don't know why.

[Brooke]

I see. So you wanted to do casual stuff with her.

[Michael]

No, I didn't say. I just. I don't know what we're gonna do.

[Brooke]

You're right. My wording was wrong there. I meant you want to do casual stuff to her. Is that verbiage fit?

[Michael]

No. We're going to dinner. I want to go to dinner. We're like single parents and we don't even know. I don't know if we're doing a play date or anything. We haven't set anything up yet.

[Brooke]

That brings me to my next statement here. Juniper wrote that the non negotiable for her is she will not introduce her children prior to a year of being in a committed relationship.

[Michael]

Okay, yeah, no, I saw that on her profile.

[Brooke]

Right, but you have children as well, correct?

[Michael]

No, I absolutely do.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Brooke]

Right, so that's where Juniper's request for you comes in. She would like your non negotiable to be you don't introduce your children to her for two years.

[Michael]

You know, the formality of this is a little extreme.

[Brooke]

I did tell her it was extreme. And lucky for you, I was able to talk her down a little bit. She would be willing to be in the same room as your children, but she will not have any vocal communication or acknowledgement of them during that time.

[Michael]

Wow. Okay, so if things worked out, she would be in my house but not speak to my children.

[Brooke]

Yeah, no eye contact either. She was specific about that. Oh, and she will also refuse to make their meals and clean up after them, at least for the first two years, which seems reasonable.

[Michael]

How's that reasonable? What are you talking about, reasonable? You're joking me. Right now. Right?

[Brooke]

Do I sound like a woman who likes jokes?

[Michael]

You don't sound like a woman at all. You sound like a robot. Like, this is.

[Brooke]

I'm a lawyer, sir.

[Michael]

Okay?

[Brooke]

One step down from robots.

[Michael]

You know what? Okay, you do your job, but I'm over this. Like, I don't. You can tell Juniper that this whole thing is done. Like, I am done with dating sites. I'm done with dating. This is ridiculous.

[Brooke]

Well, that seems extreme.

[Michael]

Oh, no, I'm being extreme. She's not looking at my kids.

[Brooke]

Just for the first two years.

[Michael]

Two years? Two years. I haven't even gone out once with her yet. We haven't been on one date, actually.

[Brooke]

That brings me to my last point here. She also requires you to have a good sense of humor and finds this prank phone call from Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning funny. Is that a negotiable? Non negotiable.

[Michael]

What? What? Say that one more time. What'd he say?

[Brooke]

Juniper's messing with you. This is actually brought from the radio show, Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

[Lucy]

She.

[Brooke]

She wrote us and wanted to phone tap you.

[Michael]

I was losing my mind over. Are you.

[Jeffrey]

You serious?

[Brooke]

She said that she's really excited for your first date and just wanted to break the ice with some humor.

[Jeffrey]

I was like, who does this?

[Matt]

Who?

[Michael]

Who does. There's no way that this is possible. Oh, my God.

[Jose]

Brook and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jeffrey]

The great Vince Lombardi once said, winners never quit and quitters never, never win.

[Jake]

Wow.

[Jeffrey]

Meanwhile, the great Brook Fox once said, you're a loser and you'll always be a loser.

[Sheena]

Wow.

[Brooke]

Truth hurts somebody.

[Jeffrey]

I actually have that one framed in a poster above my wine rack at home. Love to read it.

[Brooke]

Wine o'. Clock.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, but I only bring up these poignant sayings, cuz in the dating world, sometimes you have to decide, do I keep trying to pursue this cool person that I like, or is it time to stop and move on to something way easier? That's the main question one guy's facing today. Do they go with Brooks advice or Lombardi's? We're gonna find out in your second date update. Next.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning second date update.

[Jeffrey]

When was the last time someone in this room picked up the book? The Great Gatsby?

[Brooke]

Yeah, my junior year, maybe.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, perfect. Then you obviously remember the entire novel is basically following Gatsby's pursuit of Daisy, while Daisy the entire time plays hard to get, much like Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and prejudice and Mr. Darcy I

[Jose]

thought it was more of a boring.

[Brooke]

A societal look on what wealth does to people. I don't know.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, I mean, it's sort of.

[Alexis]

I'm.

[Jeffrey]

I'm more focused on the courtship aspect of it. I hope you don't mind me using early literary references of it where the man must prove himself through persistence in order to gain her affection.

[Brooke]

I'm glad you did, but probably half of our listeners just tuned out. But that's cool.

[Alexis]

Including me. Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Perfect. We're right where we normally are, and I only bring it up. Cause our listener Sheena, says she had a guy like that, someone she really liked, and now he's not calling her back.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

The persistence has stopped. Sheena, welcome to the show.

[Sheena]

Thank you for having me.

[Brooke]

Okay, so this guy was going full in.

[Jeffrey]

He was going full Gatsby on it.

[Brooke]

Full Gatsby?

[Sheena]

Yeah. I mean, he was pursuing me for quite a while. Like, hard. But I think maybe accidentally I turned him off.

[Brooke]

Okay. What's his name, by the way?

[Sheena]

His name is Matt. We met on Bumble.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Sheena]

And I have to be honest, I really loved his directness. Like, one of his very first messages was Saturday, noon coffee, you and me.

[Brooke]

Oh, okay.

[Jose]

Oh, some people don't like that. I could never just be like, hi, stranger. Let's link up.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. But some people really appreciate, you know, no nonsense. Just like, let's hang out.

[Sheena]

Yeah. I appreciated the way he did it. I mean, I didn't respond. Oh, but I did appreciate it.

[Jeffrey]

What?

[Brooke]

Why didn't you respond if you appreciated it?

[Sheena]

I don't have a lot of time for dating, but. Oh, for the right person, I could hopefully squeeze in a little bit of time in my schedule.

[Brooke]

I mean, 20 minutes of coffee was too much.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Sheena]

At that time when he was asking. Yeah, it was okay.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Sheena]

Again, if I felt like he was worth it right at the jump, maybe I would have made the time. I mean, I didn't delete him. I do want you to know, like,

[Jose]

how did you show him that you left him on red?

[Sheena]

Well, I let him pursue me, so.

[Brooke]

So wait, you. So there was no response from you, but you didn't delete him, and I assume he messaged again?

[Sheena]

He probably messaged me, like, I don't know, six or seven times. I said no, though eventually I did respond.

[Brooke]

Why did you say no, though? Like, he's pursuing you like, you want. Why the no?

[Jeffrey]

What's stopping you?

[Sheena]

My work has been crazy. I had vacation coming up. I was away for a week.

[Jose]

Oh, that's Bad.

[Jeffrey]

Okay, are you saying that you haven't been out on a date with him yet at all?

[Sheena]

No.

[Brooke]

What?

[Nicole]

No.

[Alexis]

What?

[Sheena]

I would like to see him in person when I have some time, but actually, he asked me if he could stop by my work and see me, and I said, you know, like, I barely know you.

[Jeffrey]

You said you?

[Lucy]

Wow.

[Sheena]

Yes, because wanting him to come to my is kind of weird, don't you guys think?

[Jeffrey]

I mean, I can understand. You don't want a strange guy showing up at your work unannounced.

[Alexis]

Yeah, he.

[Jeffrey]

I mean, he's providing a solution to meet your seemingly impossible schedule that you're offering. You have to at least consider that aspect of it.

[Sheena]

I told you guys I made a mistake. I probably should not have responded that way.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Okay.

[Jose]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

So that's self awareness. That's nice. So what happened after the ill. No text.

[Sheena]

He wrote back. Okay. And then I left him on. I left him on Read for like, three days.

[Brooke]

Oh, man, this is exhausting.

[Jose]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

You guys haven't even seen each other in person, and I'm already tired.

[Alexis]

But he doesn't care. Look at him. He keeps trying.

[Jeffrey]

Okay, so she's enjoying the pursuit, clearly.

[Brooke]

But after three days, what do you write?

[Sheena]

Finally, I just uncharacteristically wrote to him and I said, well and enough.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, you just said the word well.

[Jose]

That is kind of funny that you're just like, hello.

[Brooke]

Why on earth do you think he'd want to go out with someone who can't make any time for him at all?

[Sheena]

It's not that I don't like him. Trust me, I would have never, ever even wrote the word. Well, to him, I would have never initiated a text, but I really haven't had the time. And I was kind of hoping that he would get the hint and just keep pursuing me, because that's what I feel a woman deserves of my caliber.

[Brooke]

I just don't feel like there's any hint in any of your messaging.

[Jake]

Brooke.

[Jeffrey]

She said, well, oh, probably with some doctors.

[Michael]

Thank you.

[Sheena]

Thank you. That means I wanted him to say something.

[Jeffrey]

She creeped the door open for him. Why isn't he pulling it, like, all the way through?

[Alexis]

I feel like he got what he wanted. He was just chasing till he got a reply, and now he's like, game over. I got it.

[Jeffrey]

Are you actually wanting us to call him now and ask. Ask him to go on a date with you?

[Brooke]

Because we can't ask him why he's not calling you back. It feels just blatantly obvious.

[Sheena]

I would really like you to call him and tell him to start pursuing me again, to not give up on me.

[Brooke]

Is there any sell that we could have of why he should do that?

[Jeffrey]

What does he have to look forward to?

[Sheena]

Yeah, that I'm interested. That's what he has to look forward to, which is I have to find a place to fit him in my schedule.

[Jeffrey]

Okay, well, it doesn't get any easier than that. What guy's gonna say no to that sort of opportunity?

[Alexis]

I like how all the time she spent on the phone with us, she could have got coffee with them.

[Jeffrey]

Well, I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. First of all, Sheena, this must be

[Brooke]

very tough on you, but it is.

[Jeffrey]

Well, we understand. That's why we're gonna come back. We're gonna call this quitter of a man and tell him to pull his head out of his butt and get back to pursuing you like real men.

[Sheena]

I knew I loved you guys. So you understand me?

[Jeffrey]

We do.

[Brooke]

She does show affection. Eventually.

[Jeffrey]

We're going to do it with your second date update right after this. Hold on.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update?

[Jeffrey]

What happened to men? I don't get it. I mean, one day you're telling them, no, don't show up at my place of business, and then the next thing, they're not doing that.

[Alexis]

Wow.

[Lucy]

Wow.

[Jeffrey]

Talk about being clear and respecting boundaries. Yuck. Am I right, Sheena?

[Sheena]

Yes, that's right.

[Brooke]

No, you're right of that.

[Jeffrey]

No, he's. He's given up. Matt asked her out multiple times. Sheena has reluctantly been forced to turn him down over and over again because her schedule is just too busy and

[Brooke]

too crazy that the text well meant.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, Keep going.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Don't give up. But for some reason, Matt's thrown in the towel. He's waving the white flag. And Sheena does not appreciate that. Yeah, that's why she's come to us for help today. And just to clarify, Sheena, at the end of this, are you saying that you want us to ask to send Matt on a date with you?

[Sheena]

I mean, I do want to go out with him. It just has to be under my terms and fit my schedule.

[Brooke]

God, please, let's not do the back and forth of what day works for you, because that sounds exhausting to me. You guys can do that separately if this works out.

[Nicole]

Fair.

[Brooke]

Thank you.

[Jeffrey]

I like your energy, Sheena. Don't lose your spark, because I won't.

[Michael]

Good.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. You deserve all the things that are coming to you. So let's just dial Matt's number and we'll see what happens.

[Michael]

Here we.

[Matt]

Hello?

[Jeffrey]

Hey, is this Matt?

[Matt]

Yeah, this is Matt. Who's this?

[Jose]

Hey, man.

[Jeffrey]

This is a radio show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

[Brooke]

It's probably going to be a very surprising call to you.

[Alexis]

True.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

I think she meant very exciting call for you both, I'm sure, because we're doing this segment. It's called a second date update. Super exciting.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

Okay, so what that is is, is if we have a listener who's gone out on a date with somebody or in your case has just been talking to someone for a really long time and they've never met up in person, we can reach out on their behalf to figure out if there's a reason why.

[Brooke]

Yeah, why the date hasn't happened. Materialized.

[Matt]

I feel like I know where you guys are going with this, but maybe

[Brooke]

that would be shocking to me if you knew what we were talking about.

[Jose]

Let's give him a hint. Well, yes, you got it now, right, bro?

[Jeffrey]

That's pretty good because we're talking about a girl you've been talking to named Sheena.

[Matt]

What?

[Brooke]

Okay. He did not expect Sheena.

[Jeffrey]

Okay, well, we've heard that there's been developments in this relationship. We're trying to figure out where your head's at.

[Matt]

I tried to hang out with that girl for almost a complete month and that's just a month that I will never get back.

[Brooke]

Can I just ask, after she first said no to the coffee date, why did you keep pursuing her?

[Matt]

Well, listen, you see on social media that there's this push where it's like, well, guys need to pursue more. Like you hear it be said, I'm not an emu. My head's not in the sand.

[Brooke]

I thought that was like emo.

[Jeffrey]

All right, but.

[Matt]

But she's pretty and like, got to give it a chance when you actually get a response on there because it's desert. So it's, you know, it's rough.

[Brooke]

Emu. Desert is the dating landscape right now.

[Jeffrey]

Beautiful metaphor. So we heard you two met on Bumble. You chatted for a long time. You said a whole month.

[Brooke]

It was mostly one sided. It was chatted. You sending her messages and her every once in a while saying no, that

[Jeffrey]

won't work in different ways because it doesn't fit her schedule. And then you suggested visiting her at work because she was so busy and she responded with ew. And that was kind of how it dissolved.

[Matt]

I mean, I really tried with her. I even sent her flowers.

[Brooke]

You did? Oh, wait, she didn't say that.

[Jeffrey]

She gave you her address?

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

What?

[Matt]

No. I mean, I had to send them to her sister's place.

[Brooke]

How do you know her sister?

[Jeffrey]

She gave you her sister's address?

[Matt]

She said just to be safe, so I did. And, you know, I still got, like, heard nothing back.

[Brooke]

Wait, just. Just to be safe, I don't want you to find me, but if you find my sister, that's fine.

[Alexis]

She.

[Brooke]

She was like a sacrificial lamb.

[Jeffrey]

She's got a machete by the door. She'll be fine.

[Matt]

Yeah, and I mean, like, I just asked to a casual coffee date and then tried dinner, tried an activity, and she couldn't make any of it.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

Sounds like the sister probably kept a flower.

[Sheena]

I wanted you. That doesn't mean I want you to stop pursuing me.

[Brooke]

I heard it too. Good one.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, God.

[Michael]

Okay, what's going on?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, Matt. So that's Sheena, who has been waiting quietly on the other line until she wasn't.

[Brooke]

I mean, it makes sense you'd never heard her voice before, so that's fair. This is what she sounds like.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, she's been waiting to talk to you.

[Michael]

You.

[Matt]

Oh, my God.

[Sheena]

Seriously, I. I can't believe you right now.

[Brooke]

What? You're mad?

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Matt]

What do you want from me?

[Sheena]

I'll be honest. With my looks, I match with a lot of idiots on dating sites. I believe a lot of people.

[Jose]

Idiots insult them.

[Jeffrey]

Hold on. Let her cook.

[Sheena]

And you're the first one in a while who's been able to keep up and to stay with me. Like you. You were fighting to see me for, I don't know, like, an entire month. And I really appreciated that. It meant a lot to me.

[Michael]

Aw.

[Lucy]

How would you.

[Jose]

Come on, room.

[Brooke]

Aww. How would he.

[Jeffrey]

That was the first nice thing she said.

[Sheena]

Yeah, but I got like, eight times.

[Matt]

And you could never, never do it.

[Sheena]

Yeah, and you know what? If you really like me, you don't quit. You ask me out eight more times. It doesn't matter.

[Brooke]

Susan, you sound like a woman who's got a great career. You got a lot of things going for you. Why wouldn't you take control and just say, oh, that doesn't work for me. How about Wednesday at 5? Or whatever works in your schedule?

[Jose]

Yes.

[Sheena]

Excuse me. I am not the man here. That is the man's responsibility to know your schedule.

[Brooke]

Find a date that works.

[Jeffrey]

Why are you telling women to do everything and men can sit back and do nothing?

[Brooke]

Sounds like an incredible, independent, dependent woman who's got her stuff together. I don't understand.

[Jeffrey]

Not enough, apparently. Now she needs to be scheduling all the dates for the man.

[Sheena]

I'm really busy and I want to fit him into my schedule, but he needs to keep pursuing me until the time is right and I can find space. And then when I do, Matt, the guy that I want to go out

[Brooke]

with, I mean, that's the first time Matt's probably heard that he's wanted, which is, I assume, nice feeling no matter what.

[Matt]

I'm mind blown. And you want me to ask you out eight more times?

[Michael]

Yes.

[Sheena]

It doesn't matter. There's no number on it. I just want you to pursue me so I know you're serious.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

It's like a baseball player, Matt. You've swung at eight pitches, you've striked on all eight. But that doesn't mean you don't go back to the plate and keep swinging.

[Lucy]

Thank you.

[Jose]

Coach isn't going to pull you from the game.

[Brooke]

Over 37 usually means you get sent down to a lower team.

[Jeffrey]

Well, she's not ready to send them down yet. She wants you to strike out out more.

[Sheena]

It's not. Again, you don't know. I'm gonna say no.

[Jeffrey]

That's a good point.

[Matt]

Are you free on Friday?

[Sheena]

No, I have like a work thing.

[Matt]

Okay. How about Saturday?

[Sheena]

Actually, the thing Friday. I have to go away for a few days. I'm like kind of gone the whole weekend for the work thing.

[Alexis]

Don't choose weekends.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Is that it, Matt? You don't want to try another day? We don't want to go through all seven days of the week.

[Alexis]

Monday could be good.

[Jeffrey]

Or future month.

[Sheena]

Monday night.

[Jeffrey]

I feel like the person that would know would be you, Sheena.

[Sheena]

I know, but my schedule just changes so rapidly and there's so much going on.

[Jose]

Darn.

[Sheena]

But don't give up, Matt.

[Lucy]

Don't give up.

[Sheena]

I want you to keep asking.

[Jeffrey]

You know what? I think maybe I'll just take it from here. So we would love to have you guys go out on a date.

[Jose]

Oh, how do we even coordinate it?

[Jeffrey]

I don't know how to do that, but maybe we can agree to send you on a date date at a future time to be determined. And when that time is determined, we would pay for it.

[Brooke]

I mean, you're talking to the most important woman in the world right now who has the busiest schedule that's ever been.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Sheena]

Understand me? I love you guys. I knew I'm calling you with the right thing.

[Nicole]

Did you.

[Sheena]

You get me?

[Jeffrey]

We do the question is, is Matt up for it?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Yes. Okay.

[Michael]

Beautiful.

[Jeffrey]

Way to go, Max.

[Alexis]

I don't think that was the response,

[Brooke]

but I like that you took it.

[Jose]

We got to end it here.

[Jeffrey]

We got a yes, whatever it was.

[Sheena]

Thank you, guys.

[Brooke]

Okay, I can't wait to get an update in two years on how your date went.

[Jeffrey]

If it's happened yet.

[Matt]

I. I don't even know what happened just now.

[Brooke]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Matt, you're in love. Just send more flowers to her sister. You're going to love it.

[Jose]

Perfect.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning

[Jeffrey]

for me. And I know this is probably unpopular opinion.

[Brooke]

Oh.

[Jeffrey]

But did it seem like maybe she was being a little unreasonable?

[Brooke]

Oh, weird job. Did you come to that conclusion all on your own?

[Jake]

I don't.

[Jeffrey]

I don't want to, like, go too crazy with it. Alexis, what's your take on if a woman wants to be pursued and in her mind, a guy needs to ask her out multiple times to show his interest? Obviously that's not you, but how do you feel about that situation?

[Brooke]

Well, you can be honest.

[Alexis]

Yeah. I don't know. She's crazy.

[Brooke]

Okay, there it is.

[Jeffrey]

All right, maybe in this case she was a little bit on the cuckoo side. But he. He said yes.

[Brooke]

Did he though?

[Alexis]

He said yeah.

[Jeffrey]

He said yeah. And that was all we needed.

[Brooke]

Cuz you stopped it.

[Jeffrey]

That's right. So I'm marking it up as a victory for us and everyone involved. And you can be victorious too, in your dating life. Just email the show. We'll call that person who's not calling you back.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jeffrey]

I don't know about your city, but ours is out of control with World cup fever.

[Alexis]

And I'm so proud of us.

[Brooke]

I mean, we look so good on tv.

[Jeffrey]

We did a good job. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And where our studio's located, we're one of the host cities. It was. It was pretty exciting over this past weekend. Meanwhile, over in Houston, they're welcoming teams too. And the BBC hosted their World cup studio there, which featured a big backdrop with the Houston skyline in the background. That's cool. So you can see these cool buildings of downtown Houston on the right. And over on the left you see these rolling foothills and big majestic mountains.

[Brooke]

What?

[Jeffrey]

Which is a little bit of a problem. Cause Houston doesn't have mountains.

[Brooke]

No, I mean, the tallest thing in Houston is. Is the freeway over ram overpasses.

[Jeffrey]

It's 50ft above sea level.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Super flat. So of course, didn't take long for locals to Notice and start roasting the studio backdrop online.

[Brooke]

I can't believe they put that as the studio backdrop.

[Jose]

They're going to be like the other rest of the world won't notice.

[Jeffrey]

They're dumb. Immediately, some of the comments went viral. Like one said the Houston mountains are actually gorgeous this time of year. The next one says they should do this. Just build some mountains. It'd be great for tourism.

[Brooke]

Oh my God. Have showed so many other things like NASA or Galveston or the giant mountains of Kansas.

[Jeffrey]

One guy said, I'm pretty sure that's just the city dump overflowing. Nope, Just another gorgeous day in the Houston Alps.

[Brooke]

Wow, I'm getting altitude sickness up here.

[Jeffrey]

And it's also a perfect day for laser stories, which is coming up right after.

[Lucy]

After this.

[Jose]

Hello, it's Laser Story.

[Jeffrey]

It's the radio segment that's Americanizing your dumb European Keurig with a new coffee maker, the Freedom Brew 3000. Featuring a 12 cylinder diesel powered coffee injector, using bigger pods, making louder noises and ending with a tiny fireworks show above every cup.

[Lucy]

So American.

[Jeffrey]

Put the American back in your Americano with laser Stories. The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does. Except we've got a laser. Those other Amira mochas just don't. This first laser story is out of Kentucky. Two people, a 51 year old woman named Tricia Crowley and a 48 year old man named Damon Bennett are in deep trouble. And it all started when they parked their car in a strip mall area and it just sat there for many hours. Security let local police know it was there. When officers showed up, they looked inside and they saw Trisha and Damon sitting there looking completely out of it.

[Jose]

Ain't nobody got time for that.

[Brooke]

Come on, guys. At least they weren't driving.

[Jeffrey]

Well, in Trisha's lap was a bag that had a label on it. That label said definitely, definitely not a bag full of drugs.

[Brooke]

Looks like we're done here then.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.

[Brooke]

Who knew why they were never gonna know.

[Jeffrey]

It definitely was misspelled as defitelli.

[Brooke]

Okay, Tricky word.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

And it said full twice.

[Brooke]

Oh, full full.

[Jeffrey]

He also had the term lackey spooge.

[Brooke]

I don't want to Google search whatever that is.

[Jeffrey]

And it was was filled with actual drugs.

[Brooke]

It does sound like a cool gamer handle though.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. So cops had them get out of the car. Trisha attempted to give the officer A fake I.D.

[Matt]

oh, no.

[Jeffrey]

And Damon had some outstanding warrants.

[Brooke]

So did the identification also say definitely not a fake ID most likely.

[Jeffrey]

that point, it was a full on jail party. Afterwards, a police spokesperson said there are people who would see a night novelty bag that says definitely not a bag full of drugs and find it amusing. Then there's people who would put their actual drugs in it. Yeah, please don't be those people. Let's go to your next laser story out of Nevada. Fresno county Sheriffs got a 911 call from the Sierra Nevada foothills for a confined space rescue.

[Lucy]

Oh.

[Jeffrey]

And when they showed up, they weren't exactly excited about the work that needed to be done.

[Michael]

Oh.

[Jeffrey]

A man had accidentally dropped his sunglasses to the bottom of a honey bucket toilet.

[Brooke]

No.

[Jeffrey]

And instead of walking away, he tried to retrieve. He fell almost immediately to the bottom of the toilet's tank and started yelling for help.

[Jose]

This is the only time you wish it was full to the brim.

[Brooke]

I know that's gross. But then it's up on the top. I see what you're saying. You don't climb anything.

[Jeffrey]

Luckily, he only had to endure about 15 minutes at the bottom of the toilet.

[Brooke]

Dude, that's the longest 15 minutes of your life.

[Jeffrey]

Finally, crews were able to get him out safely. Authorities confirmed the man was not injured, but did require a good hosing down before walking away.

[Michael]

Just.

[Jose]

Just take me out back at that point.

[Brooke]

Where's the bleach?

[Jose]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

One witness thanked the officers for being so quick to respond as the victim was definitely in deep dooo.

[Jose]

Oh, come on. Try shock.

[Sheena]

Oh, I hate that.

[Jeffrey]

Where's my rim shot?

[Brooke]

Dang it.

[Host/Announcer]

That was good.

[Brooke]

Deep doo. I got you. I got you.

[Jeffrey]

Let's go to your next laser story out of. Only in Florida, 24 year old Rory Thompson walked into his eye doctor's office after experiencing flashing lights and seeing floaters for the last six days.

[Brooke]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jeffrey]

And he didn't have any injuries to report. No family history of eye disorders. Doctors couldn't believe how much eye damage they saw, though. Retina impairment, widespread bruising, and even a condition called retinal dialysis. Yeah, worst case they've ever seen.

[Brooke]

No bruising here.

[Host/Announcer]

These.

[Brooke]

These glasses protect anything.

[Jeffrey]

After further questioning from the doctors, Rory finally came clean on what had happened. It seems in an attempt to help. Help his tired eyes, Rory had been using a massage gun on his eyeballs.

[Brooke]

What?

[Jeffrey]

For the past three months?

[Nicole]

No.

[Jose]

You know when you're. You're so tired your eyes are sore?

[Jeffrey]

I can see this a massage guy,

[Jose]

like on the side.

[Brooke]

Oh my God, it's so relaxing.

[Jeffrey]

Specifically, he used a gun with A small head attachment shaped like a bullet. You know the one I'm talking about? He'd been using it directly on and around both eyes on a weekly basis for the last 12 weeks to help with his eye fatigue. But, shockingly, no, it did not help.

[Brooke]

That was when I put it on my shoulders. I can't imagine putting it on my eyeball.

[Jose]

Like maybe on your head, so it vibrates your eye, but directly on the.

[Alexis]

Nowhere near it.

[Host/Announcer]

Yes.

[Jeffrey]

Doctors noted he. He did not have a history of psychiatric conditions or drug use.

[Brooke]

Yeah, that is something you'd want to look into if the guy's doing this.

[Jeffrey]

It turns out Rory was just that dense.

[Brooke]

Oh.

[Jeffrey]

They were able to fix his injuries with laser treatment and made him promise to never do that again.

[Jose]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jeffrey]

Although they really should have a warning label on those massage guns. Don't use on eyes.

[Brooke]

Just get Rory a cool eye mask. Yeah, one of those that you keep in the fridge.

[Jeffrey]

A vibrating

[Brooke]

nothing that's gonna punch you in the face while you're using it.

[Jeffrey]

Teach their own. Let's go to your final laser story out of the Bathroom Chronicles.

[Alexis]

Not again.

[Brooke]

It's a good point.

[Jeffrey]

It's a more normal bathroom. Turns out that washcloths and loofahs might not be doing your skin any favors.

[Brooke]

Tell us. They're all full of yucky stuff, aren't you?

[Jeffrey]

I'm not going to tell you that. But a recent dermatologist report says washing with your hands is the safest and most effective way to clean your body.

[Brooke]

Hand washer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Your hands are less likely to irritate the skin. And unlike loofahs, they don't sit around collecting bacteria in between showers.

[Brooke]

I like a little bacteria back up in my crevices.

[Jeffrey]

Apparently, loofahs can become a breeding ground for germs if they're not clean cleaned after each and every use. Washcloths, meanwhile, get a little more love from dermatologists, but they still come with a warning. They can provide gentle exfoliation by removing dead skin cells, but using them every day may actually damage your skin's protective barrier.

[Jose]

So you're saying don't eat my loofah?

[Brooke]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Or your washcloth. Okay, so if you.

[Nicole]

You.

[Jeffrey]

If you do use a washcloth, just wash it frequently and hand it up to dry in between uses. But as for loofahs, don't use them unless you're this guy.

[Brooke]

Oh, he's okay with it.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. In fact, this is just him cleaning himself right now. Him and his Tired body needs to be relaxed. And that sound means laser stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again same time on Friday.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jeffrey]

New player Anthony joins us today, and we've actually tracked his cell phone. Apparently, he's standing in the alley behind a questionable massage parlor. Anthony, what are you doing there? And are the specials still good?

[Matt]

I am definitely not there, Jeff.

[Brooke]

Okay, I'm gonna let you know from experience, if you walk into one of those places expecting a good pedicure and not realizing where you are, you're not going to get it.

[Jeffrey]

You're going to get something even better. But we are getting reports police are going to be arriving in the area soon, so we should probably move this along. Yeah.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Give you a little time to settle in between the dumpster and the feral cat looking for snacks. So let's just get to the game. You got 30 seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know when, you could say pass. But you have to beat Brooke outright if you want to win. Are you ready?

[Matt]

I am ready.

[Jeffrey]

Good luck, my man. Your time starts now. The operating system Microsoft Windows 98 was released on this day in what year?

[Matt]

1992.

[Jeffrey]

What kind of juice is used to make a Bloody Mary?

[Matt]

Tomato juice.

[Jeffrey]

In 1997, what famous singer was the first Latin American to get paid a million dollars for an acting role in a movie?

[Matt]

Ricky. Ricky. Rick.

[Michael]

I don't know.

[Jeffrey]

Judogie is a uniform worn in what, martial arts?

[Matt]

Taekwondo?

[Jeffrey]

Alrighty, Anthony, well done. Brook's gonna come back here in the studio. And it says here, Anthony, that you're a financial advisor, basically handle other people's money. Well, no wonder he's at the massage parlor. He's got a few extra bills on him. Am I right, Anthony?

[Michael]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

That's where I use my extra cash.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

He finally just leans into it.

[Jeffrey]

You gave up.

[Brooke]

And that's what we like.

[Jeffrey]

We're gonna wear you down, Anthony. I love that.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Matt]

You're coughing. You're coughing.

[Jeffrey]

Seriously? It says here you like to ski, hike and mountaineer.

[Matt]

I do. I actually went up mountaineer and then ski down one time.

[Brooke]

Sweet.

[Michael]

Whoa.

[Brooke]

That's awesome.

[Jeffrey]

What if I told you I also enjoy mountaineering, but I never leave my bedroom? What would you say to that?

[Brooke]

Well, please don't ask what he's climbing. Don't ask.

[Jose]

That's just mounting.

[Jeffrey]

I'm the best in the biz, Anthony. I'll show you my skill some. All right, Anthony, good work. It is Brooke's. Turn now. Brooke, are you ready?

[Brooke]

Oh, I am so ready.

[Jeffrey]

Your time starts now. The operating system Microsoft Windows 98 was released on this day in what year?

[Brooke]

98.

[Jeffrey]

What kind of juice is used to make a Bloody mary tomato? In 1997, what famous singer was the first Latin American to get paid a million dollars for an acting role in a movie?

[Brooke]

Oh, Ricky Martin.

[Jeffrey]

Judogi is a uniform worn in what martial art? Jiu jitsu in TV show Modern Family. That show was about a family living in what state?

[Brooke]

Oh, California.

[Jeffrey]

There we go. We got our answers in, and it's time to head on over to the scoreboard to see how you bolted with our own Jose.

[Brooke]

No bugs, just beds.

[Jose]

Dude, if there's like, two people that know what that's from texted right now. I love you.

[Jeffrey]

Your real ones.

[Jose]

Anthony, you got one correct today.

[Michael]

A.

[Jose]

It was rough. Yes, it was rough. Brooke, you got an extra question that you didn't get to in. And of course, she gets the win with three correct.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, man, I'm sorry about that, Anthony. Let's go over the answers for everybody. The operating system Microsoft Windows 98 was released on this day in the year 1998.

[Jose]

You overthought it, brother.

[Brooke]

Wait, he didn't get that right. Oh, my gosh, Anthony, I freaked out.

[Jeffrey]

The kind of juice you used to make a Bloody Mary would be tomato juice. The famous singer who became the first Latin American to get paid a million dollars for an acting role in 1997 is the iconic Jennifer Lopez when she did the biopic of Selena.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah, yeah. This is like the good movie she did.

[Michael]

Yep.

[Jeffrey]

Got a million bucks. Judogi is a uniform worn in judo.

[Brooke]

Oh, judo. Okay.

[Jose]

You're close to Jiu Jitsu.

[Brooke]

I know. I was trying.

[Jeffrey]

TV show Modern Family is about a family living in the state of California. Yeah, they've all got lip fillers. That's how you know.

[Jose]

So, yeah, very modern.

[Jeffrey]

Anyway, Anthony, I'm sorry, man. It wasn't enough to beat Brooke today. But just for playing, we're giving you a 25 Disney gift card, valid at any Disney reserve, resort, theme park, or online in the Disney Store.

[Matt]

Thank you.

[Lucy]

All right.

[Brooke]

What mountain are you gonna summit this year, Anthony?

[Matt]

Mount Baker. Oh, we're gonna do that in July.

[Jose]

You're no different, brother.

[Jeffrey]

Hope you enjoy that experience. Anthony, come back and play again soon. We're going to do win Brooks Bucks same time tomorrow.

[Host/Announcer]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.