FULL SHOW: Mistaken Identity Date, Paid Wedding Crashers + First Bidet Loser Line (5/18/26)

Summary

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Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update FULL SHOW

Episode: Mistaken Identity Date, Paid Wedding Crashers + First Bidet Loser Line (5/18/26)

Date: May 24, 2026
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This episode features another wild ride through the dating struggles and comedic chaos of Brooke and Jeffrey’s morning show. Packed with their signature sarcasm, witty banter, and a rotating cast of cohosts, this episode tackles everything from American education woes to Nutella ice cream, bizarre “museums,” voicemail disasters, a “mistaken identity” second date update, and the curious phenomenon of paid wedding crashers.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Opening Show Banter / American Education & Recess Crisis

[04:04–06:40]

• Hosts riff on recent reports that American kids are lagging globally—not just in academics but even in “recess.”
• Jake sarcastically proclaims, “No other country is better at not educating kids. We are number one, baby.” ([04:13])
• Jokes about Fortnite med kits as a solution to failing heart health and the loss of recess time.
• Cracks about sarcasm being the true American academic strength (“You know what we're best at? Sarcasm though.” – Brooke, [06:01]).

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2. Museum “Forgery or For Realsy” Game

[06:10–12:00]

• Jose hosts a trivia game about ridiculous real and fake museums.
  • Example: Museum of retired casino carpets (fake), the Icelandic phallological museum (real), an awkward family portraits museum (fake), and a heartbreak memorabilia museum in Croatia (real).
• “Show me wieners.” – Jeffrey ([10:04])
• Brooke gets shocked with a “shot collar” for losing, has to sing “All Star” by Smash Mouth.

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3. Nutella Ice Cream & Laser Stories

[12:55–22:00]

• Team reacts ecstatically to Nutella officially launching its own ice cream, fantasizing about crunchy Nutella layers and convenience packaging ([13:31–14:53]).
• Laser Stories: Quirky news segment with ridiculous sound effects.
  • Viral “saddest cheesecake” story, including a chef's review: “I hate this cheesecake.” ([17:09])
  • A man recovering $400K in crypto with help from AI bot Claude; his password started with “LOL420.”
  • Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce wedding rumors (invitations go out via phone calls, not digital).
  • Malls see a surprising resurgence with teens but now require adult chaperones to reduce trouble.

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4. The Loser Line: First Bidet Experience & Costco Bragging

[28:15–34:01]

• Listeners leave hilarious voicemails after awkward dating mishaps.
  • One caller celebrates buying a Costco membership: “Buying a nine pound tub of peanut butter just makes you feel like you’ve made it.” ([29:02])
  • An anxious first-time bidet user records his reaction live: “All right, well, I’m wet.” ([31:43])
  • A wild mini-golf date goes wrong due to a smoke bomb; “I did have a good time before that, hope you want to go to Dave & Buster’s instead.” ([32:49])
  • A woman shows off her “not drunk” skills by trying to recite the ABCs backwards (“Z-Y...etc...C-BA, girl. Bam. Mic drop. Next message.” – [35:11])

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5. Phone Tap: Hulu “Customer Care” Prank

[36:24–41:16]

• “Barry McButters” (Jake) calls a Hulu binge-watcher and accuses him of streaming too much, questioning his mental health, and referencing his breakup.
• “Dude, just call her.” ([40:23])
• The call is revealed as a prank commissioned by a worried friend.

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6. Second Date Update: Mistaken Identity Date

[46:39–63:04]

• Set Up: Noah sets up a date through a dating app but accidentally meets up with the wrong woman, Chloe, due to similar profiles. They realize the mix up after 15 minutes and quickly try to find their actual dates.
  • “About 15 minutes into the conversation, we both realized that we met the wrong person...we both kind of look enough like each other to where we could mistake each other.” – Noah, ([49:13])
  • Noah asks Chloe for her number before going to his originally intended date.
• He tries to connect with Chloe afterward, but she’s distant.
• Chloe’s Perspective: She reveals she secretly observed Noah’s real date afterward, felt he was more into the other girl (“He bought her a flower. And he kissed her cheek.” – [58:39]).
• Awkward Honesty: Live on air, Noah admits he would’ve been happy with either woman and only reached out because the other date didn’t work out.
  • “No, honestly, I would have been okay with either one of them.” – Noah ([60:42])
• Chloe declines a second date: “I’m nobody’s second choice now.” ([62:47])
• Hosts reflect on the cringe of “you’re my only choice” lines.

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7. “Not a Wedding Crasher” – Paid Wedding Guest Service

[69:11–75:09]

• Hosts discuss a new online service letting couples fill empty wedding seats with vetted strangers who pay for entry.
  • Benefit for couples: offset costs and fill tables.
  • For guests: “attend a real wedding, access the good food and the dancing,” as Brooke puts it ([71:45]).
  • Guests must provide biometric scans to verify identity.
• The team riffs on what fake backstories guests could make up and VIP “extras” like giving a toast.

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8. Win Brooke’s Bucks

[75:20–80:59]

• Irish transplant Genevieve challenges Brooke in trivia, with playful banter about Irish and American stereotypes.
• Final score: Tie, house (Brooke) wins.
• Genevieve’s kids, Leah and Loen, get a shout out.

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Memorable Quotes

• “No other country is better at not educating kids. We are number one, baby.” – Jake ([04:13])
• “Show me wieners.” – Jeffrey, guessing a real museum ([10:04])
• “Buying a nine pound tub of peanut butter just makes you feel like you’ve made it.” – Loser Line voicemail ([29:02])
• “All right, well, I’m wet.” – Loser Line bidet call ([31:43])
• “I would have been okay with either one of them.” – Noah, Second Date Update ([60:42])
• “I’m nobody’s second choice now.” – Chloe, rejecting second date ([62:47])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• American Education & Recess Banter: 04:04–06:40
• Forgery or For Realsy (Museums Game): 06:10–12:00
• Nutella Ice Cream & Laser Stories: 12:55–22:00
• Loser Line Voicemails: 28:15–34:01
• Phone Tap: 36:24–41:16
• Second Date Update – Mistaken Identity: 46:39–63:04
• Paid Wedding Guests Segment: 69:11–75:09
• Win Brooke’s Bucks Trivia: 75:20–80:59

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Tone & Style

Emphatically irreverent, cheeky, and self-aware, the hosts combine sarcastic social commentary with good-natured roasting of each other, their listeners, and society at large. The episode’s strongest moments are built around organic group banter and the gleeful celebration of real-life dating disasters.

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Takeaways

• On Kindness in Dating: Sometimes being respectful backfires awkwardly (as in Noah’s “gentlemanly” move).
• Modern Love is Messy: The mistaken-identity date saga shows just how convoluted dating apps and first dates can get.
• Viral Quirkiness: Stories of loser lines and paid wedding guests highlight the creative extremes people go for connection and entertainment.

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For the uninitiated, this episode puts the zany, self-deprecating heart of “Brooke and Jeffrey” on full display—perfect for anyone who loves relentless dating humor, pop culture riffing, and lively ensemble chemistry.

Transcript

[Jeffrey]

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[Alexis]

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[Brooke]

it a coincidence, Jeff, that Mother's Day and Mental Health Awareness Month all happen in May?

[Jake]

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[Brooke]

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[Jake]

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[Jose]

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[Michael]

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[Jose]

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[Michael]

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[Jose]

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[Jeffrey]

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[Brooke]

Hey, we got a brand new full hour for you. Welcome to it. It is the Brooke and Jeffrey official podcast. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means a lot to us. We got a new loser line, new second date today, but some reflection I've heard is needed.

[Alexis]

Yes, because last Friday, Ashton did his first ever phone tab.

[Jeffrey]

Yes.

[Alexis]

And scam the scammer one also. And Ashton, you got a lot. Yeah, we got Ashton. We love you. Yo, Ashton's hilarious. This show made me realize that I love Ashton. Need a ton more of Ashton. Ashton was amazing. Pure gold.

[Brooke]

Okay, let's slow it down. Let's slow it down.

[Alexis]

Sorry.

[Jake]

All those bots I paid for really went over.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brooke]

Good job, Ashton.

[Alexis]

Good investment.

[Brooke]

Yes. Smart marketing.

[Alexis]

That would explain user XYZ444.

[Jake]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jeffrey]

All right, Ashton's bot one says.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

All right, let's get to this brand new pullout right now.

[Jake]

You've probably heard stories about how American children are lagging behind the education of kids in other countries around the world.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Jake]

And guess what? Yep, they are. And we're proud of it. No other country is better at not educating kids. We are number one, baby.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

All right, number 250 then.

[Brooke]

Shouldn't this be more like we're not proud and we want to invest more in our public education system.

[Jeffrey]

Why are you talking Fancy speech?

[Jake]

I know. Take that. Talk to Canada where it belongs. Well, now there's some new guidance out that found not only are we bad at math, reading and science.

[Brooke]

Oh, no.

[Jake]

But we suck at recess, too.

[Jose]

No.

[Michael]

Yes.

[Brooke]

I don't know. My kids are pretty good at recess.

[Jake]

The American Academy of Pediatrics says recess time has been shrinking over the years and it's worsening children's overall health.

[Jose]

Kids love it.

[Jake]

Yeah, those Cheering American children know that if you're low on health, you could just buy a med kit in Fortnite. Re up easy.

[Brooke]

That's how you fix your failing heart.

[Jeffrey]

That's right. You need 10 seconds to apply the med kit.

[Michael]

Yes.

[Jake]

But then you're back up to 100.

[Jeffrey]

100.

[Jake]

Health good to go.

[Brooke]

So we're fine.

[Jake]

Exactly.

[Jeffrey]

Or we find slurp juice.

[Jake]

So many options out there.

[Brooke]

That's good. I had the Pediatrics Association I'm sure has taken notes.

[Jake]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Apparently it's not just exercise they're losing though. This so called report claims that recess is essential for kids social, mental and emotional growth.

[Brooke]

Which again, likes emotional growth.

[Jake]

If you're worried about growth, there's a pill for that. So I'm not sure why everybody's whining now. Let's strap some shot collars to our throats and electrocute each other for entertainment like stable people do as we put our American education to the test.

[Brooke]

You know what we're best at? A sarcasm though.

[Jake]

We, sir, are. Jake, good luck stumping these Mensa students. Go for it.

[Jose]

Welcome to International Museum Day.

[Jake]

Oh, yay.

[Jeffrey]

Perfect timing, Jake.

[Jose]

It's where we celebrate the thrill of staring at really old stuff in a glass box while we quietly whisper.

[Michael]

Huh.

[Jeffrey]

Neat. Yeah.

[Brooke]

I really thought this was gonna be some anniversary of the Ben Stiller movie.

[Michael]

Night of the museum.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jose]

Wait till next week, Brooke. Well, there's so many incredible exhibits to

[Michael]

visit around the world.

[Jose]

There's the Louvre in Paris, the Met in New York. The Museum of Slightly Used Hotel Hotel soaps off Highway 401 in Kansas.

[Michael]

Oh, no.

[Jeffrey]

What?

[Jose]

Ooh, this soap's from the La Quinta in Toledo.

[Jake]

Take a picture of me with the soap, Mom.

[Jose]

It seems like there's a museum for almost everything. But can you tell which ones actually exist? That's your challenge today during a special forgery or for realsy edition of plenty of 20. Now you'll say a number one through 20. I'll describe a museum that could exist somewhere in the world. You just have to tell me if it's an actual place for real Z or a fake forgery that I just made up. Okay, we'll start with the woman who just bought an annual pass to the museum of Totally Natural Looking Blonde Hair Dye.

[Michael]

That's Alexis nine, Ma'.

[Jose]

Am, no stealing number nine. Alexis, your museum is just outside of Las Vegas, Nevada. It's dedicated in entirely to retired casino carpets and lets visitors walk on and then vote on the most visually upsetting pattern ever made. You need to tell me, is this museum of r4 or a forgery?

[Jeffrey]

What the heck?

[Alexis]

Oh, I don't know. I mean, people love the, like, Portland carpet from the airport that was iconic after.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alexis]

Vegas carpets are pretty gross.

[Jose]

Have you guys seen the carpet they put down in the parking lot elevator area?

[Jeffrey]

The new one.

[Jose]

Terrible.

[Jeffrey]

It's awful. The whole room is dark now.

[Alexis]

You're so observant.

[Jeffrey]

I could smell it. What is that?

[Alexis]

I'm gonna say forgery.

[Jeffrey]

Whoa.

[Jose]

Interesting. Alexis says forgery, and she's correct. I did make that up.

[Noah]

All right.

[Brooke]

It does sound like Jake wants to buy a ticket to it, though.

[Chloe]

Yeah.

[Jose]

Brooke, it's your turn. 9 is off the board.

[Brooke]

13.

[Jose]

Your museum is in Nashville, Tennessee. It honors awkward family portraits featuring giant wall displays of matching denim outfits, forced holiday smiles, and aggressively themed Christmas car. To tell me, is this museum a r4 or a forgery?

[Brooke]

I think that those awkward family photos, especially of, like, the 80s and 90s, are just iconic. Or the. The glam shots that people used to do when they would go to the mall.

[Jake]

Hopefully there's, like, a room inside that museum where you can take your own awkward family portrait and bring it home.

[Brooke]

Or they just cut the heads out and you put your head through the hole.

[Michael]

You know, like at a tranche trap.

[Brooke]

Dude, I want this to be real. Give me real.

[Jose]

Brooke says for real. Z. I'm so sorry, Brooke.

[Brooke]

Dude, we need to open one.

[Jose]

All right, Jose, we're over to you. We're talking museums, and whether they're real or made up. How about a number 12? Number 12? Your museum is in Reykjavik, Iceland.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, I was just kind of by there.

[Jose]

It features over 200 preserved animal penises.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God.

[Jose]

And is somehow one of the country's biggest tourist attractions. Need to tell me, is this museum a for realsy or a forgery?

[Jeffrey]

Or is it the smallest attraction?

[Brooke]

Whose job is it to procure all those animals?

[Jeffrey]

Um, I swear I've heard of a wiener museum before, or maybe it was somebody insulting me, but I'm gonna say this is for realsies.

[Jose]

Jose says this is a real museum.

[Jeffrey]

Show me wieners.

[Jose]

I can't believe I said that right before I dinged. That is a real museum. The Icelandic Fallaa museum. It's only $5 to get in this month, but use the code word Jake rules to get $1 off in colder months.

[Jeffrey]

It's a discount because everything is less.

[Michael]

Hey, slower, Jeffrey.

[Jose]

We're over to you. You got to get this right. And then Brook's the Only one who lost.

[Jake]

Give me number one.

[Michael]

Number one.

[Jose]

Your museum is in Berlin, Germany. It's dedicated entirely to socks that lost their matching pair in the laundry.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, that's adorable.

[Jose]

There's lonely singles displayed in glass cases. Is this museum a for realsy or a forgery?

[Jake]

How disappointing would it be to be like, going to the museum and you're like, oh, my God, there's my sock and you can't get it back. Cause it's in the glass.

[Brooke]

Do you think they partner with a laundromat to make this actually happen?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, there's gotta be.

[Jake]

I just.

[Jeffrey]

Who would go see that?

[Brooke]

There's a lot of modern art stuff. Maybe it's like a take on the loneliness of the world.

[Jake]

You're right, it does make you sad. That's why I think it's a real museum. For real Z.

[Michael]

For realsy.

[Jose]

Unfortunately, no, that's incorrect. We made it up. That takes us to a tiebreaker between Alexis and Jose. Alexis, I'm going to you for this one. If you get this right, you win. If you get it wrong, Jose is the victor. Your museum is in Zagreb, Croatia. Every exhibit is an item left behind from a breakup, along with the emotional story attached to it. Probably a lot of sweatshirts. You need to tell me, is this museum a for realsy or a forgery?

[Jake]

See this? This one is really sad.

[Brooke]

Yeah, you think it's sadder than the sock?

[Jake]

Way sadder than the sock. And I like it.

[Brooke]

I like Brooks.

[Alexis]

Art is sad logic. I'm going to say real.

[Michael]

And she's right.

[Jose]

And that brings her victory in today's plenty of 20.

[Jake]

All right, so, Alexis, you get to choose who gets shocked today. They're going to be singing All Star by Smash Mouth. Who's it going to be?

[Alexis]

The art major herself.

[Brooke]

I was an art major. I never finished my degree in it, though.

[Jake]

Oh, America.

[Brooke]

I got that journalism degree.

[Michael]

She's on this ship. Says it's too tough to graduate.

[Jose]

Graduate.

[Brooke]

Somebody once told me the world is going to roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the sh.

[Jake]

That was true.

[Jeffrey]

She admitted it. She's not the sharpest tool.

[Brooke]

Fine with that.

[Jose]

Speaks for all of us.

[Brooke]

Got to be sharper than the other tools.

[Jake]

That was your shot collar. Question of the day.

[Michael]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jake]

I'm going to say one word that I guarantee will get a reaction in studio. Studio.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, is it a swear?

[Jake]

Nutella?

[Michael]

Is that what you wanted?

[Jake]

It's pretty much what I expected.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Good. Dude, I just.

[Brooke]

My new snack for the kids is a little Nutella on top of a graham cracker with milk.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God. I didn't have growing up.

[Brooke]

And then you put sliced bananas on the top of it.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God, it's so good.

[Jake]

Apparently the only thing stopping us from eating straight chocolate for breakfast is calling it a hazelnut spread.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. Cause there's nuts in it.

[Jake]

After decades of people trying to freeze the jars and blend it into DIY shakes and force it into any dessert possible, Nutella says they've officially come out with a new product. And you're gonna love it. Ladies, gentlemen.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Jake]

And Brooke, I give you Nutella ice cream.

[Brooke]

Wow.

[Jeffrey]

Wayne.

[Jake]

This is gonna be officially from Nutella. The photo up on our Insta stories

[Brooke]

with like, some hard Nutella on the top.

[Jeffrey]

It's perfect.

[Jake]

It's arrived.

[Brooke]

There's a pint.

[Jake]

It's arrived nationwide.

[Brooke]

Sorry.

[Jake]

According to the suits in the marketing department, they say this frozen treat folds Nutella swirls directly into the ice cream base, aiming to deliver the same flavor people have been scraping from the bottom of their jars since the 1960s.

[Brooke]

I don't know if it's true or not, but from the picture on the Pinterest point, it looks like there's a layer of hard Nutella on the top of the ice cream that you crunch through.

[Jeffrey]

That's the most satisfying. Like the creamy and the crunchy.

[Jake]

Oh, it's everything. And like Brook said, you can get it in two forms. A 14 ounce tub for about 4.36 or single served pre packaged cones that come in four packs for about 5.57.

[Michael]

I think we all agree those look best.

[Brooke]

Well, so that tub looks single served.

[Jake]

Yeah. You're sad enough for sure. It took long enough, but they finally made it. And to celebrate the rollout, Nutella's also running something called Freezer Fridays through May, which gives fans a chance to win free ice cream through social media giveaways.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, that's fun.

[Jake]

So there you go. Nutella ice cream has officially arrived and we're scooping it straight into laser stores.

[Brooke]

I think it's summer.

[Jake]

Yes, it is.

[Michael]

Yes, it is.

[Jake]

Laser stories, right? It's the radio segment that's revolutionizing the bottled water industry, where instead of going cleaner, they're going niche. So why not plunk down five bucks for a pint of tap water from Mexico?

[Brooke]

Let's go.

[Jake]

There's something swimming in there.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my gosh, it's cloudy.

[Michael]

Who cares?

[Jake]

Down the hatch. You will lose £19 in two days. Now that's true, thanks to Laser stories. The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does. Except we've got a laser. Those other aguasitas just don't. This first laser story is out of Colorado. 38 year old Claire Johnstone ordered a cheesecake from a local baker for her daughter's birthday. But what showed up was, well, something else.

[Brooke]

What do you mean?

[Jake]

Claire paid $50 and received the the flattest, goopiest cake anyone had ever seen.

[Michael]

Oh, goopy cake.

[Alexis]

What does that even mean?

[Jeffrey]

Like undercooked.

[Brooke]

Goopy's never been a good word in baked goods.

[Jake]

No, and I'm showing a pic to my co host right now. The Cheesecake is only 1 inch tall at its thickest point.

[Jeffrey]

This is gross.

[Brooke]

And that's only because there's some like, jam spread on the top of it.

[Jeffrey]

It's like the thickness of a pizza.

[Alexis]

Like a flatbread.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, flatbread.

[Brooke]

Did she forget the egg?

[Jake]

Whoever bakes this, the berries are actually taller than the actual cake and they just seem to be thrown on top randomly.

[Jeffrey]

And like, cheesecake is thick usually, normally,

[Jake]

so you can see it for yourself. It'll be up on our insta stories at Brooke and Jeffrey. But when Claire got it delivered, she was initially stunned and had no time to get a replacement. So she begrudgingly served it for her daughter's birthday.

[Jeffrey]

Just tell everyone it's a tart.

[Brooke]

Just tell everyone that you made it and then they will be judging. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, this is one of those

[Alexis]

things when you go to get store

[Brooke]

bought and it actually looks like something from your kitchen.

[Jeffrey]

I love that, bro.

[Jake]

She also took a video that quickly went viral with people calling it the saddest cheesecake they'd ever seen. Even a celebrity pastry chef and Food Network star raid in saying, I hate this cheesecake.

[Jeffrey]

Okay, Bobby Flay, I know it was you.

[Jake]

Oh, I thought that was Barefoot Contessa. Okay. But after the party, Claire reached out to the baker and complained.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jake]

And their response? Well, her cheesecakes are lighter and more dense than the New York style ones.

[Brooke]

How can you be lighter and more dense at the same time?

[Michael]

That's like when people just don't want

[Jeffrey]

to admit they were wrong.

[Jake]

She said she would take Claire's feedback in mind, but did not offer a refund.

[Michael]

You about to lose your job?

[Jeffrey]

Not even like a half off?

[Brooke]

How on earth Is that $50?

[Jake]

Well, in the end, you know who did step up?

[Brooke]

Who?

[Jake]

The Cheesecake Factory. They gave Claire a 100 gift card.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, wow. And then Go get the Adam's peanut butter.

[Noah]

It's my favorite.

[Brooke]

You like that one?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Cheesecake Factory for the win. Let's go to your next laser story out of Boston. Man named Timothy Calpitas has been depressed for the last few years. All because he was locked out of his crypto wallet which contained $400,000 in Bitcoin. The reason he can't get in, he forgot his password almost 11 years ago because when he created it, he was high in college.

[Michael]

Such to be you, man.

[Brooke]

Okay, this is what you got to do. You got to go back to that state of mind. It's the only way you're going to remember it.

[Alexis]

Your frat house.

[Jake]

He has been trying that for the last 11 years. Been trying to do non stop combinations attempting to re enter his account. Finally, after years and years of failed guesses. Yeah. He turned to an AI bot named Claude for help.

[Brooke]

Oh yeah, Claude.

[Jake]

Guess what? Claude cracked the case.

[Brooke]

No way.

[Alexis]

Wait, wait, that's concerning Claude.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

AI can get into our passwords.

[Jake]

Well, all Timothy had to do was upload old files from his old college computer and it found an earlier wallet file from before the password change, which helped him finally unlock the account.

[Jeffrey]

Oh my gosh.

[Brooke]

Why do I feel like AI is about to like break into all our business bank accounts?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Jake]

You know, and make us millionaires. Okay, I think yes, he did reveal what the password was. We can't say most of it on the air, but I will say it started with LOL420.

[Jeffrey]

Okay.

[Jake]

And then ended with an inappropriate lyric from the rap group nwa. So Timothy was so thankful after cashing out that he joked he wants to name his future child after Claude.

[Brooke]

Oh, I'm glad he he didn't use the password as the future child.

[Jake]

Let's go to your next laser story out of the Aerosphere Lounge. We still don't know when Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are getting married, but does sound like something's brewing cuz their friends and family are now getting saved the dates.

[Brooke]

Wait, this is awkward. You guys didn't get yours?

[Jeffrey]

Oh, Brooke already knew.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Oh great. The thing is, they're not coming in the mail or even by text or email or social media. They're coming by way of personal phone calls.

[Brooke]

I wanted it to be carrier pigeons. I don't know why. I just felt like that's a very Taylor thing to do. Release a dove.

[Jake]

We know that Taylor herself is actually calling a few specific people. Then her assistants are going to be handling the rest. Word is that the couple still hasn't told anyone the exact date or location. Just that it's happening this summer and they should keep their schedules flexible.

[Brooke]

Does anyone else feel like. Like she also hasn't told Travis? Yeah, because if you want to keep it secret, I don't know, it just doesn't feel like that's a guy you should tell a secret.

[Alexis]

I heard they're telling everybody something different to see who spreads the rumors.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, that's smart.

[Jake]

I hear they're doing a whole wedding tour with weddings in cities all over the country.

[Brooke]

Can you imagine the flex of RSVP no to Taylor Swift at Travis Kelce's wedding?

[Jeffrey]

You're like, oh, you know, my cousin's getting married that weekend.

[Michael]

Sorry, bro, I got a thing.

[Jake]

Let's go to your final laser story out of the Shoppocalypse Center.

[Brooke]

Is that good or bad?

[Jake]

You'll find out. Because for most of the past decade plus, it seemed like shopping malls could become a thing of the past.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I love going to the mall.

[Alexis]

I'm always busy when I go to Zara there.

[Michael]

Oh, really?

[Jake]

Plenty of them did turn into total ghost towns. But now, according to retail experts, malls are making an unexpected comeback. Thanks to today's teens. This place is starting to suck.

[Brooke]

I was just talking to some of my mom friends and they have have older kids that are in high school and all they want to do is be dropped off at the mall. That's all they do.

[Alexis]

Hang out.

[Jake]

Yes.

[Brooke]

Yes.

[Jeffrey]

Oh my gosh, the world is healing.

[Jake]

It's crazy. So how are the malls returning the favor? By banning them.

[Brooke]

What do you want? Malls. Okay, do you want people or not?

[Jake]

Well, according to the Wall Street Journal, teenagers actually are going to the mall more, but when they do, they stage takeovers and create chaos. A lot of it filmed for social media so they're not there to shop. It's the same old punkish mall rat debauchery that's always fostered a love hate relationship between malls and teens. The issue is, since mall management actually needs young shoppers to help breathe life into their business, they can't just ban them completely. Yeah, which is why some stores are only allowing shoppers under 1818 to come in if they have an adult chaperone.

[Alexis]

Not gonna work for the hangout.

[Jeffrey]

Bringing my mom into Victoria's Secret with me.

[Jake]

It's not the most exciting for teens, but the ones who have tried it report that the adult chaperone thing has reduced mischief, mayhem and stealing significantly.

[Jeffrey]

Cuz he's stealing.

[Brooke]

Yeah, the stealing's not good, guys.

[Michael]

That's always been a thing.

[Jake]

But many parents don't have the time or the desire to do that for hours on end. So it's not a perfect solution. But for now, it is the only one.

[Brooke]

Okay. Sorry, teens.

[Jake]

Darn.

[Alexis]

Hey, if I'm gonna start with you all, pretend to be your parent guardian.

[Jake]

There you go.

[Brooke]

That's believable. Yeah.

[Jake]

As for this guy, he loves the mall, but the mall doesn't really love him. He has been kicked out of the Foot Locker more times than Kanye's been kicked off social media. It's a rough go, but that sound means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again same time on Wednesday. Your first kiss. Your first sip of mango. Truly.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, it's like the first kiss.

[Jake]

Your first full body wax.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, God, that would hurt.

[Brooke]

Full body, some hair.

[Michael]

It's a long appointment.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. Why do you Full body.

[Jake]

Point is, we all remember our first times. And one guy is about to experience one of his first times while on the phone inside his bathroom while we listen in.

[Jeffrey]

What the heck is going on?

[Jake]

This is gonna be one that all of us will never forget. Plus, going on a mini golf date might sound cute and innocent until your date pulls something illegal out of his pocket to make the hole in one experience a little more exciting.

[Michael]

What the heck?

[Brooke]

I don't know. Why do I want to go mini golfing with him?

[Jake]

You're gonna hear why he got kicked out of mini golf during a brand new batch of voicemails coming up in the loser line right after this.

[Alexis]

There's not much you can do about the money you've got now. But if you want to do something about the money you could have tomorrow, Acorns wants to help. And with the Acorns potential screen, you can find out what your money is capable of. No more finance apps cluttering your phone with Acorns. You can invest, save and give your money a chance to grow in one trusted place. Plus, one of my favorites is the automatic reoccurring Investments where you can schedule daily, weekly or even monthly investments. So you sit back and Acorns does it for you. Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion with Acorns. Head to Acorns.com Alexis or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to Positively promote Acorns Tier 2 compensation provided potential subject to various factors such as customer's account age and investment settings does not include Acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any ACORNS portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LL SEC registered investment advisor view important [e-mail] Alexis and now for

[Michael]

a bit of breaking news. Between your breaking news with me, the Geico Gecko, here are some things you

[Jeffrey]

ought to know Today, people who switch

[Michael]

their car insurance to geico save about $900 a year. Experts are calling that nice to know. Also, plants can hear when bees buzz. My ficus just heard that. And finally, animal experts have confirmed that goats have regional accents.

[Jeffrey]

I'm getting a hint of ir.

[Jose]

It feels good to get good news. It feels good to Geico all cat

[Alexis]

parents understand the feeling of being ignored by your cat and often asking yourself, does my cat even love me? And there is only one solution to solve that Sheba Feature Cat Sheba and go from feeling ignored to truly adored in 12 days guaranteed or your money back. Sheba has a menu of products, appetizers, entrees, treats and even a kittens menu. So Sheba has a product for even the pickiest eater like the Sheba Puree which is made with bone broth. It's a protein rich, lickable treat with chef inspired flavors. It has a smooth and creamy texture that cats love. Plus it supports a strong bond between pet parents and their cats with a hand fed cat treat. It also contains no corn, wheat, soy or artificial flavors. So instead of feeling ignored, you're suddenly the center of their world. It's basically a fast pass to favorite human status. Next time you're wondering if your cat loves you, grab Shiba Puree or explore their entire range of textures and flavors at your local retailer. To learn more, check out shiba.com let's

[Jeffrey]

talk about modern home shopping. It's sort of become a fun side hobby, right? Scrolling listings at night, dreaming about kitchens you haven't seen or backyards you haven't stepped foot in. All from the comfort of. Well, literally anywhere. Redfin knows a lot of people like you want to own but are stuck in this browsing mode loop. That's where Redfin flips the script with listings that update within minutes and tours you can book right from the Redfin app. You can see your dream home the moment it appears. Now, liking a listing is easy, but actually landing it? That's where Redfin comes in. Redfin has over 2,200 agents with local expertise And Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents. That means they help you win. Not just win, dough shop. Redfin is built to help you go from just looking to wait. This could actually be home. So become the newest neighbor on the block. Visit redfin.com to start finding and start owning.

[Michael]

That's redfin.com Amazon Pharmacy presents painful thoughts. It's been a long, bumpy road dealing with yet another bladder infection and driving to the pharmacy to pick up meds. I went over a pothole and a little pee came out. So now I get to stand in line with pee pee pants.

[Jake]

Next time, skip the pain and get

[Jose]

fast free delivery with Amazon Pharmacy. Healthcare just got less painful.

[Michael]

Hey, girl, what's up with you?

[Jeffrey]

Wait a minute.

[Jose]

Is this the right number?

[Michael]

It's the loser line. Come on, just call me back if

[Jake]

you haven't heard the loser line before. It works like this. Let's say someone approaches you when you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you. Excuse me, miss, Is your name Earl Grey?

[Brooke]

What?

[Michael]

Cuz you definitely look like a hot tea

[Brooke]

hottie.

[Jake]

Whatever you do, don't hock a loogie straight into his generic brand soda. Instead, tell him to come meet you over at 7:11, where you could mix three flavors in one. You know what that means because I don't. And that's when you give him the number to the loser line. So hopefully he calls. It leaves an awkward voicemail we can play over the air voicemails like this one.

[Noah]

Next message. Jenna, it's. It's. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I just. I had to call you because guess what? I did it. I freaking did it. I took your advice and I got my Costco membership. Like, oh my God, I can't believe it. Honestly, you were. You were right. I. Like, I didn't believe you, but it's true. I just. I feel, like, different now. I feel like. Like more powerful. Weird to say. I can't explain it. It's just. There's something about buying a nine pound tub of peanut butter, right? It just makes you feel like. Like you've made it. You know what I mean? Like, even when I bought that 96 pack of the pizza rolls, the cashier looked at me like, honestly, it looked like respect, you know? I mean, this is. I guess this is adulthood, right? This is what, what, what being a grownup feels like.

[Brooke]

It's a moment. Yeah. I mean, when you get to flash that car the first time as you walk through those doors, you're like, I'm it.

[Jake]

I've been telling dudes for years though. If you want to impress girls on Tinder, don't hold up a picture of you like with a fish. Hold up a picture of you with a foot long chicken bake.

[Brooke]

Dude, that's not even a lie. That means you also have access to those gasp prices.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God. My dad preaches about the gas.

[Jake]

That's a real man right there.

[Noah]

Next message. Hey, it's Matt. So I. I bought that bidet attachment

[Michael]

you told me to get and, well,

[Noah]

I'm about to try it here and

[Michael]

I'll be honest, I'm a little nervous.

[Noah]

There's different pressure setting options. I see. There's a low, high, and turbo. What's turbo even mean? I don't know if I can handle that, honestly, especially for the first time. And what does wide mean? Who is that for? Is it the area or is it. I don't know.

[Michael]

I don't.

[Noah]

I'm just gonna try this one and I don't know.

[Michael]

Here we go.

[Noah]

Oh, God. Okay. Is that. That was it.

[Michael]

All right, well, I'm wet.

[Noah]

Next message.

[Jeffrey]

That's good.

[Brooke]

That happens after you explain why do

[Jake]

I feel like someone just posted the loser line number in the Amazon reviews for this particular. Particular bidet?

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Is that what this segment has come to?

[Brooke]

I don't know. But we got a lot of advice today. Between the Costcos and the bidets, people are leveling up their lives and I'm here for it.

[Jeffrey]

But days are only great when it's warm water. Ones are like, not cool.

[Brooke]

But no one will forget their first time.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, that's for sure.

[Jake]

Trust me. If you really want to feel cleansed, you should head over to the Brooke and Jeffrey YouTube page.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, that's a transition.

[Jake]

Watching just one short video there has been the same effect as the world's most powerful laxative. Plus, you can watch the videos while you're doing your business. In fact, Nielsen says we are ranked in the 78th percentile for board geriatrics on the toilet who are there for more than 20 minutes at a time.

[Michael]

That's because they fell asleep doing the ratings.

[Jake]

God's work. That is our gift to you. Thank you very much. Now back to the clips.

[Noah]

Next message. Hey, Melissa, this is Aaron. You know, the guy from the mini golf last night.

[Jake]

I.

[Noah]

Look, look, I just want to apologize again. I know you're still really pissed at me and I totally get it. It's just, you know, in my defense, it was a hole in one Challenge. So I thought the smoke bomb would help him make a little more dramatic. It turns out mom complained about it and called me reckless. But, like, how was I supposed to know her son was in a full body cast and couldn't from the smoke. It was just so stupid. But anyway, I did have a good time with you and your friends before that, so I was hoping next weekend you might be free. Maybe this time we get to go somewhere a little more mature. You know, like Dave and Buster. Something like that. I heard that place is sick. So, hey, so just let me know next Monday.

[Brooke]

I like that a guy carrying around smoke bombs in his pocket is looking for maturity. Yeah, at Dave and Busters, of course.

[Jeffrey]

How am I supposed to know Know if he's in a full body cast and just look. That's pretty obvious when someone can't move.

[Brooke]

How can you see through the smoke?

[Jake]

I'm sorry.

[Brooke]

Maybe he set it off before he sobs. Not.

[Jake]

Not to judge the mother in this situation, but why is she bringing her son in a full body cast to go mini golf?

[Brooke]

The sun can't have fun, too.

[Jake]

I. I guess they could use him as the golfing stick if they wanted to.

[Brooke]

There to cheer the mama.

[Jeffrey]

He's a cat daddy. Like. Here, hold this.

[Brooke]

He's in charge of the little pencil. Why do you got to be me?

[Jake]

I stand corrected. Bring your full body cast children to go mini golfing more often.

[Jeffrey]

Yes, just bring a mask next time in case they get smoke ball.

[Jake]

Exactly.

[Noah]

Next message. Keisha Geisha. It's epic. I'm just letting you know that I didn't have as many drinks as you thought I did. I didn't.

[Chloe]

And.

[Noah]

And I didn't even do doubles, so. Ha. And look, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do the ABC. ABC's Backwards Z Y. You saw. Etc. Etc. All the way to cba girl. Bam. Mic drop. Next method.

[Brooke]

Okay, nailed it. I assume she goes, you're drunk.

[Alexis]

Drunk.

[Brooke]

Leave me alone.

[Jake]

Alexis, when you get married, please make sure you invite this guy, because I do not want your wedding to be boring.

[Alexis]

Hey, I'll be right there with him,

[Jake]

etc. Remember, hit up our YouTube at Brooke and Jeffrey. We're gonna post all of our content there. Our second dates, our awkward calls, and video of us right here in studio reacting to each and every loser line clip. We got a phone tap coming up for you right after this. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And in today's prank call, a guy reached out to us saying his buddy has been a Little bit depressed because his longtime girlfriend broke up with him, and he really hasn't been able to get him out of the house to do anything fun since then. In fact, every single text, he's like, what are you doing tonight? And his friend will reply back with one word.

[Michael]

Hulu.

[Jake]

Son, guess where we're calling from? Hulu to see. See if maybe we can get him out of his funk. In your phone tap right now.

[Michael]

Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.

[Noah]

Hello?

[Jake]

Hi, I'm calling from Hulu. My name is Barry McButters.

[Noah]

Okay.

[Jake]

Looking to speak with Nate Farmer.

[Noah]

This is Nate.

[Jake]

Hi, Nate. First of all, we just wanted to thank you for being a valued customer here at Hulu for the past seven years.

[Noah]

You're welcome.

[Jake]

We really appreciate that. And I'm actually with the customer care division. And I have to say, the other reason I'm calling is because we are a bit concerned.

[Noah]

You're a bit concerned about what?

[Jake]

Concerned that you could be watching too many movies. And that's saying a lot because our selection is not pristine.

[Noah]

I'm sorry. Sorry, You're. You're tracking the amount of television that I'm watching? How do you know I'm watching that?

[Jake]

It's not really a surprise since all streaming platforms do monitor their customers viewing habits. And with your account, we did have an alarm go off.

[Noah]

Oh, so an alarm for my account. What triggers the alarm?

[Jake]

It's triggered when someone hits quadruple the normal amount of viewing time, you know, that they normally would. Consume. Consume.

[Noah]

Don't you want me to be watching a lot of movies? Isn't that sort of what your business is?

[Jake]

That's actually a really great point, Nate. It's just that all of us here at Hulu cannot believe that you searched our entire library and found more than two movies worth watching. You know, that's why we're so concerned.

[Noah]

Okay, well, thanks for your concern, but it's misplaced. Okay, well, I mean, it's a little ridiculous that you're tracking me and now you're stalking me and trying to figure out.

[Jake]

Nate, that's not the case at all. We're not trying to attack. Attack you or accuse you of anything. We just want you to be honest with us. Do you think. Are you.

[Noah]

To be honest with you, I don't even know who you are.

[Jake]

Nate, just. Even with the tone of the conversation now, just ask yourself, what is going on? Why is it like this?

[Noah]

Whoa. Okay, dude, I don't know you. I do not want to talk about this with you.

[Jake]

Has there been any recent changes in your life? Maybe in your relationship status lately?

[Noah]

What?

[Jake]

I'm just saying, you're watching reruns of that's so Raven. I mean, what does that say about your mental state? It's not good.

[Noah]

You think that you're a psychologist now?

[Jake]

I'm just saying it wasn't like this only a few months ago. Your habits have clearly changed.

[Noah]

I mean, people's lives go through different seasons, and they watch more movies at different times.

[Jake]

Yeah, if I'm understanding you, she dumped you, dude.

[Noah]

Again, very personal.

[Jake]

Very personal, but very correct.

[Noah]

I'm not saying you're correct or not. You know, and how would you know that if it was true?

[Jake]

Looking at your past viewing habits. You used to have a lot of rom coms, a lot of happy, uplifting films. And lately, well, there's no Miss Congeniality one, two or three. I mean, what's happened?

[Noah]

I'm not being influenced by somebody else, and I can watch whatever I want to. Yeah, I'm not going to choose a rom com.

[Jake]

Okay, I see.

[Noah]

So in some sense, you know, I'm living a better life because I'm getting to watch what I'm getting wanting to watch.

[Jake]

Keep telling yourself that, Nate, but I think we both know what's going on.

[Noah]

Oh, okay. So tell me, what do you think is going on?

[Jake]

I think somewhere deep down you miss her.

[Noah]

What the hell, man? You're with Hulu. You can't say this.

[Jake]

All right, look, I just want to tell you five words, and I think this will explain everything.

[Noah]

Okay? Yeah, go ahead and tell me these five words.

[Jake]

Stomp the yard to homecoming.

[Noah]

What?

[Jake]

What are you doing? Why are you watching that?

[Noah]

It was a good movie.

[Jake]

Okay, I know you don't believe that's true. There's a piece of your heart that's missing right now. Something inside is hurting, and you're trying to fill it with people stomping the yard.

[Noah]

Okay, you need to back off, man.

[Jake]

Just call her.

[Noah]

This is so ridiculous. Like, do you hear yourself?

[Jake]

I do. It is. Now that I'm hearing it back, it is pretty ridiculous.

[Michael]

And, yeah.

[Jake]

And you know what? That is what your friend Connor wants.

[Noah]

What does Connor have to do with any of this?

[Jake]

Well, Conor wants ridiculousness in the form of a prank phone call that we're doing on you right now on the radio. Hey, man, this is a prank phone call call. My real name is. My real name is Jeff. From the radio show. Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. Conor wanted us to do a phone tap on you.

[Noah]

You're lucky, dude that we're not even. I don't know where you are, but you're lucky I don't know where you are.

[Jake]

Dude, I already told you, I'm at Hulu in the customer care division doing a mental health evaluation on you as we speak.

[Noah]

Is that even a thing? Man, I really hope because he's getting sued left and right.

[Jeffrey]

Brook and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.

[Michael]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jake]

What are the qualities that women tend to look for when they're on a date? A guy who's kind.

[Brooke]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jake]

Honest. Y Respectful.

[Brooke]

Yeah. Well, where's hot in all of these?

[Jake]

Well, one of our listeners found himself in a tough situation and went out of his way to do the kind, honest, respectful thing for his date.

[Brooke]

That's great.

[Jake]

And what happened? It landed him here, alone, confused, desperate for help. We're all about to learn the dark consequences of what showing kindness and respect actually gets you.

[Brooke]

That is not the lesson we're handing out.

[Jake]

It's the lesson I'm taking away in a brand new second date update right

[Alexis]

after this all cat parents understand the feeling of being ignored by your cat and often asking yourself, does my cat even love me? And there is only one solution to solve that. Sheba feature Cat Sheba and go from feeling ignored to truly adored in 12 days. Guaranteed or your money back. Shiba has a menu of products, appetizers, entrees, treats and even a kittens menu. So Sheba has a product for even the pickiest eater like the Sheba Puree which is made with bone broth. It's a protein rich, lickable treat with chef inspired flavors. It has a smooth and creamy texture that cats love. Plus it supports a strong bond between pet parents and their cats with a hand fed cat treat. It also contains no corn, wheat, soy or artificial flavors. So instead of feeling ignored, you're suddenly the center of their world. It's basically a fast pass to favorite human status. Next time you're wondering if your cat loves you, grab Shiba Puree or explore their entire range of textures and flavors at your local retailer. To learn more, check out shiba.com let's

[Jeffrey]

talk about modern home shopping. It's sort of become a fun side hobby right Scrolling listings at night dreaming about kitchens you haven't seen or backyards you haven't stepped foot in. All from the comfort of, well, literally anywhere. Redfin knows a lot of people like you want to own but are stuck in this browsing mode loop. That's where Redfin flips the script with listings that update within minutes and tours you can book right from the Redfin app, you can see your dream home the moment it appears. Now, liking a listing is easy, but actually landing it? That's where Redfin comes in. Redfin has over 2,200 agents with local expertise, and Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents. That means they help you win. Not just win dough shop. Redfin is built to help you go from just looking to wait. This could actually be home. So become the newest neighbor on the block. Visit redfin.com to start finding and start owning.

[Michael]

That's redfin.com Amazon Health AI presents painful thoughts I I can't stop scratching my downtown. Mm, yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud.

[Jose]

There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health Aid. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 247 healthcare just got less painful

[Jeffrey]

Being there for those we love can be so hard for people with chronic migraine 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more Botox Onobotulinum toxin a prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headaches days a month. It Prevents on average 8 to 9 headache days a month versus 6 to 7 for placebo. Prescription Botox is injected by your diet doctor. Botox effects may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as trouble swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. Those with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions like rash, breathing problems, dizziness, neck and injection site pain and headache. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history. Muscle or nerve conditions like als, Myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton Syndrome in medicines like botulinum type toxins, which may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor about Botox. Visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox.

[Jose]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI it all starts with your your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers, growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities. Completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] disclosures Brooke and Jeffrey

[Alexis]

in the morning second date update.

[Jake]

You know, if you search Brooke and Jeffrey on YouTube, YouTube you might get a case of mistaken identity.

[Brooke]

Oh yeah, don't even get me started with those stupid AI videos of us.

[Jake]

There are so many weird copycats that use fake AI generated images of me and Brooke.

[Brooke]

If I look like I'm about to sell you a car, it's done by AI. Or a house.

[Jake]

Is it bad, Brooke, when your AI doppelganger has Botox?

[Brooke]

Yes, yes it is. It is. And somehow lip filler, like what is happening?

[Jake]

At least AIU is doing good self care.

[Brooke]

I saw one where I was in a sequin jacket for some unknown reason.

[Alexis]

That's more realistic.

[Jake]

Yeah, sequins is making a comeback. But what happens if you get a case of mistaken identity when you're on a first date? Oh, that's how today's caller, Noah landed himself here on our show this morning. Noah, how you doing, man?

[Noah]

I'm all right. How you guys doing?

[Brooke]

I feel like somebody went out with the wrong person on this date, just the way Jeff set it up.

[Jake]

I mean, your email said there was some kind of weird mix up that happened during your date. Why don't you run us through it?

[Noah]

All right, so I matched with this really cute girl online. She was just my type. She's got dark curly hair, works out. You tell from her profile pics, she's about 5 foot 4. It's like exactly my.

[Jake]

All right, that looks like one of Brooke's AI doppelgangers that I've seen before too, so I get it.

[Brooke]

Probably.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, Curly hair, the opposite of what you have.

[Alexis]

Whatever.

[Jake]

Okay, so you were attracted.

[Noah]

Yeah, attracted. And then we were messaging each other back and Forth on the app. So we decided to meet up at this bar that's like right by where I work. And it's usually busy. There's a good vibe around there. So I get there early and I'm sitting there and I'm waiting and this woman comes up to me, she gives me a big hug. She says, hey, how are you? Yeah, she's like, very warm. It's very comfortable. And so she sits down and we start having our conversation.

[Brooke]

Okay, wait, what's your name? This brown, curly haired goddess.

[Noah]

Okay, I'll get to that. Hang on. Okay, so meeting people on the apps, you go to the profile, you memorize some things that are on their profile so that you can bring it up and it's part of topics conversation.

[Michael]

Right.

[Noah]

So I know she's into yoga. She likes guys with great senses of humor, and she likes dark chocolate. And I'm bringing all of this stuff up and yeah, it's not registering. She said I'm getting all of these things wrong.

[Michael]

Oh, what?

[Brooke]

Oh, is she one of Those that used AI to set up her profile?

[Noah]

No. So about 15 minutes into the conversation, we both realized that we met the wrong person. No, coincidentally, we both set up dates at the same restaurant at the same time. And I guess our dates, we both kind of look enough like each other to where we could mistake each other.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Jake]

So she thought she was meeting up with a different guy too.

[Noah]

Exactly. And this girl, the first girl I met with her name was close.

[Brooke]

Okay, so wait, the original. The original curly brown hair girl is Chloe?

[Noah]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The second the mistaken girl, his name's Chloe.

[Brooke]

Okay, okay, okay. So now you're on a date with Chloe that was completely not planned.

[Noah]

Right, Exactly. So we're like, oh, shoot, we have our dates that we're supposed to meet and they're probably here waiting for us.

[Jake]

Oh, God. What was your feeling about that? Were you laughing about it? Were you mortified?

[Noah]

Like, it was very fun. Also kind of sucked too, because, like, I was having such a good time and I realized that, like, this is not the person who I'm supposed to be here with and you don't want

[Brooke]

to stand the other person up.

[Alexis]

And it kind of looks like you planned a date before your date. Now if the next girl sees you.

[Michael]

Yeah, that's bad.

[Jake]

So what's your move?

[Noah]

So we're both kind of just processing what's happening and we both realize, oh, my God, we need to go looking for our date.

[Brooke]

What if you find a third, third One.

[Jake]

Are you a girl who's into yoga and likes dark chocolate too? Oh, my God, they're everywhere.

[Jeffrey]

I kind of hope they're on a date. Like, you find them together. You know, they found each other. Everybody looks alike.

[Noah]

Well, the problem that her date. She ended up finding out that her date ditched her

[Jeffrey]

up.

[Brooke]

Isn't there part of you that wants to do that to the person you were supposed to meet since you're having such a good time with Chloe so

[Jeffrey]

you can stay on your date?

[Noah]

Well, that was the thing. I felt like the gentlemanly thing to do do was to continue on with the date that I had set up and not ditch the first.

[Brooke]

Yeah, it's the right thing. Yeah, it's the right thing.

[Jeffrey]

I mean, a real gentleman would have just said, hey, come join this date. It's now a triple date.

[Jake]

Yeah, I can handle two at once. Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Come on.

[Jose]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Thank you.

[Noah]

I think you guys watch too many adult films.

[Jake]

There's no such thing as too many.

[Jeffrey]

Thank you, Jeff.

[Jake]

Go on.

[Noah]

So, okay, so I go back to Chloe. I give her a hug, and I tell her, like, I'm really sorry, but I asked her. I. I was like, how about you give me your phone number? Because we had such a good connection.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

All right.

[Noah]

She gave me her phone number, and then I went along on my original date. And that date went. It went okay. It was fine.

[Brooke]

Oh, but you were thinking about Chloe the whole time, weren't you?

[Noah]

Well, there just wasn't that same connection there.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Noah]

And I don't know if that messed me up or whatever, but. Yeah, it just wasn't the same.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's cute. It was just natural and fun with

[Jake]

Chloe, but just asking as a question, because I don't know, as a woman, would it seem douchey if a guy was like, hey, I'm gonna go leave to meet with another girl, but before that, can I get your number? That doesn't come off as, like, this

[Alexis]

girl, get ready, get dressed up, leave her house and come.

[Brooke]

Like, I think it was a nice thing that he didn't stand her up. Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Situation. And she may actually go, oh, he still has respect for the other girl. That's a nice.

[Brooke]

I mean, that's what dating is, right? Talking to, meeting, and seeing who's out there. Have you talked to Chloe since?

[Noah]

Yeah, we have. I texted her a little bit. Bit. But she doesn't reply too much. Like, her responses are very short.

[Jake]

I guess you really need our help. Then when we come back and we call Chloe the girl you Weren't supposed to go out with, but ended up connecting with anyway.

[Brooke]

Who doesn't like chocolate or yoga? That's not her thing.

[Jake]

Or humor.

[Brooke]

Yeah, that was the other girl's thing.

[Jake]

We'll make sure to bring none of that in the conversation when we do your second date update right after this.

[Michael]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

[Jake]

Let's recap real quick. Our listener Noah had a case of mistaken identity where he was scheduled to meet up with a dark chocolate, yoga loving woman with dark curly hair and instead found himself chatting with a dark, curly haired woman who doesn't like chocolate and is more into Pilates.

[Brooke]

Oh, did she say that?

[Jake]

Well, I don't know about that last part. I'm just assuming they're different. But it was all an accident. And they both realized 15 minutes in they were there with the wrong people.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jake]

So out of just pure respect, Noah decided he should go and find his original date and spend some time with her. But he promised to arrange a future hangout with Chloe. Unfortunately, that has not materialized. And that's where he's hoping we can step in to help.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Do you know what I was thinking? It may not be your fault at all.

[Jake]

It's not my fault. I'm just recapping.

[Brooke]

I'm talking about. What's his name?

[Jeffrey]

Noah.

[Brooke]

No, I'm talking about Noah. I don't think it's Noah's fault.

[Noah]

Thank you.

[Brooke]

Yeah, well, here's the thing. Like, her original date stood her up, remember?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

So she left that night probably feeling pissed off and like, you just kind of got wrapped up into it, right?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. Like her memory of the night's bad.

[Noah]

Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why she won't hang out with me for another date, though.

[Jeffrey]

I could have been the last straw. I hate to be that guy, but, like, there is a straw and she may just be done with dating now.

[Alexis]

Went home, deleted the app till next week.

[Jake]

This was the last chance that she was given and it fell flat. So she is sworn off men forever.

[Noah]

Okay, that was my optimism.

[Jeffrey]

We're hoping she's done. I don't know.

[Jake]

Isn't it sad that's what the world's come to? But here we are.

[Noah]

I mean, I'm. I'm hopeful too, but it's been like a few weeks and I just. I don't know. I don't know what you guys can do.

[Jeffrey]

Well, we'll get answers at least.

[Brooke]

Let's see.

[Jake]

And if it could be a little bit less hopeful because it puts A lot of pressure on me, and I don't like that.

[Noah]

I can do that.

[Jake]

Beautiful. Okay, I'm going to dial the number. Here we go. Hopefully Chloe answers.

[Michael]

Hello?

[Jake]

Hey, Chloe. This is a radio show called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

[Chloe]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

Hi. Good morning.

[Brooke]

Probably a little shocked to hear a radio show calling you. It's not an everyday thing.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jake]

How you doing?

[Chloe]

I'm confused.

[Jeffrey]

Good.

[Jake]

That's exactly how we want you to be.

[Brooke]

That was so crazy.

[Alexis]

Why are you.

[Brooke]

What are you on today?

[Jake]

Dark Chocolate. I get that you're confused. This is totally weird that a radio show is called Calling you, but we're doing a segment called A Second Date Update.

[Chloe]

Okay. Why. Why are you calling me?

[Brooke]

I mean, I guess you didn't officially go out on a date with this guy, but.

[Jake]

Yeah, there was. It was like kind of a half date, an accidental date with one of our listeners named Noah.

[Chloe]

Okay. Yeah, I remember Noah.

[Michael]

Okay, that's good.

[Brooke]

Yeah, because he said it's been a couple weeks since you guys have talked, so.

[Chloe]

I mean, that's not entirely true. Like, we've been texting.

[Jake]

Yeah, he mentioned that you are texting, but it's been kind of sparse where you don't seem very interested in hanging out with him. That's the vibe that he's getting.

[Chloe]

Well, I mean, I guess it just seemed like he maybe liked somebody else more.

[Brooke]

Are you talking about the original date he was supposed to be on?

[Chloe]

Oh, he told you about that?

[Jake]

Yeah, he filled us in on how there was kind of a mix up for both of you when you arrived at the. Was it a bar?

[Brooke]

I mean, what a funny coincidence. You two walk in, both looking for a first date you've never met, and you end up sitting with each other on accident.

[Alexis]

Like that's like early people.

[Chloe]

It was kind of strange how that happened, but. Yeah, just kind of felt like he was just a little more into the other date.

[Brooke]

How could you tell?

[Chloe]

I promise I'm. I'm not crazy.

[Brooke]

Oh, no.

[Jeffrey]

Good start, girl. Let her cook.

[Brooke]

I'm not crazy, but where are we going?

[Jake]

What's happening?

[Chloe]

Okay, so first I just want to say, like, I fully supported him. Him going on his original date. That was the right thing to do.

[Brooke]

Oh, so it didn't bother you that he didn't stand her up?

[Chloe]

No, it didn't bother me at all.

[Jake]

Okay.

[Chloe]

But after I said goodbye to him, I kinda maybe didn't leave the bar.

[Brooke]

Oh.

[Alexis]

Oh, that's just gonna be painful for you to watch.

[Brooke]

Why would you do that? Yeah. To yourself. You're not gonna see anything you, like.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Chloe]

So I was just like, when else am I gonna get another opportunity to, like, see if the way he was with me was the way he actually is or, like, if he was putting on a front or whatever? So it was a really busy bar. He didn't see me.

[Brooke]

Yeah, he definitely didn't see you. He definitely would have brought that up to us.

[Jeffrey]

Totally.

[Jake]

What did you see?

[Chloe]

He was, like, smiling at her, and it seemed like they were connecting, like, just as well as he connected with me. And. And, like, after a while, he, like, put his hand on her leg and, like, after they left and maybe kind of followed them a little bit.

[Jake]

No.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Jake]

She's already this far down. Might as well keep seeing her.

[Brooke]

You followed them down the street?

[Chloe]

I mean, not, like, down the street, like, they left, so I left, and I was able to, like, watch where they went, and they only went, like, half a block, and there was, like, a flower vendor there, and he bought her a flower. Flower. And he kissed her cheek.

[Noah]

Oh, man.

[Jeffrey]

Why would you watch this?

[Brooke]

You went straight PI Private investigator.

[Jake]

Are you sure you didn't misread that as a rejection flower? Like, this was a nice date. Here you go.

[Jeffrey]

It's our last one.

[Jake]

Goodbye forever.

[Chloe]

No, it was actually, like, really sweet, but it just felt like, you know, he was really, really liking her. And so when he texted me later, he was like, oh, I was thinking about you the whole time. And, like. Like, that just felt disingenuous. It didn't look like he was thinking about anything other than that date that he was on.

[Brooke]

Can't look like something, though, right? Like, maybe he was putting effort in and trying on the date, but that doesn't mean he wasn't thinking about you. He called us.

[Jake]

Yeah, he was probably imagining that she was you.

[Michael]

That's weird, too.

[Jeffrey]

So that, in a way, he gave you a flower.

[Michael]

Yes.

[Jeffrey]

And he kissed you.

[Jake]

That was a practice I don't like.

[Chloe]

That's creepy.

[Jake]

Okay. I don't know. Forget that I say that. I'm just. I'm just trying to guess because, look, the whole reason that we're doing this.

[Brooke]

Who's listening in on who now, Maybe they're equal now.

[Michael]

Good point, bro.

[Jake]

He's the one that wanted us to call you because he felt that strongly about your connection, and he's actually on the other line right now, secretly spying in on this conversation just like you did.

[Noah]

Yes.

[Brooke]

He can't get upset.

[Noah]

Hey. So. All right, I guess. Hi, Noah.

[Chloe]

What are you doing?

[Noah]

Look, I was Just trying to get in touch with you because I just wanted to know what happened. And, like, I'm. I'm really sorry to do this, but I do have to kind of come clean on the whole situation.

[Brooke]

What? Wait, what about what?

[Noah]

Well, all of those things that she described did happen, but, like, I didn't have a second date with her. I asked her out for a second date and she turned me down.

[Michael]

Why would you.

[Jeffrey]

Wait, what again, bro? And why would you admit.

[Alexis]

Why are you saying that right now?

[Jake]

Was this your first?

[Brooke]

So the only reason you're calling Chloe is because the girl you were actually interested in rejected you?

[Jeffrey]

Yes, bro.

[Noah]

No, honestly, I would have been okay with either one of them.

[Chloe]

Actually

[Brooke]

make a girl feel special?

[Noah]

No.

[Jeffrey]

The other girls on the line, too, listening to this.

[Jake]

I've heard that in a romcom movie once, though. I think it worked.

[Alexis]

Here.

[Chloe]

Yeah, I'm here.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God. We were doubting that you were reading his date. Right.

[Chloe]

See, I know what I'm talking about, dude.

[Jeffrey]

Sir, you be honest. If the other girl would have said yes to a date, would you even be on the phone with us right now hunting her down?

[Noah]

I.

[Chloe]

Maybe.

[Noah]

I don't know. Hard to speak hypothetically like that.

[Jake]

You told us the entire time you were hanging out with the other girl. Chloe was the only person on your mind. That's what you told told us and her.

[Chloe]

Yeah, yeah, I told you that text was disingenuous.

[Noah]

Oh, no, no, it wasn't disingenuous, because she had ditched me by that point. That's why.

[Jeffrey]

Wow.

[Chloe]

Wow.

[Brooke]

Chloe, as a positive to you, he hasn't brought up you stalking him once as a red flag.

[Noah]

Yeah, actually, to tell you the truth, I thought that was kind of hot. Nobody's done that to me before.

[Michael]

Oh, okay.

[Chloe]

That's so crazy. Why would you want somebody following you? You weirdo.

[Brooke]

She's arguing against yourself.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, she's like, look, I'm weird.

[Michael]

What are you doing?

[Jake]

Don't like me when I'm like that. Like me when I'm normal.

[Brooke]

I can't tell if you guys would actually be a really good match or a total nightmare together.

[Jeffrey]

They'd be a good match if none of this would have happened and you guys are just going off your personalities.

[Noah]

I agree. We would make a great match because I'm not with that girl anymore. She rejected me.

[Michael]

Okay, okay.

[Jake]

You got got. Leave it in the past. It's done. Stop bringing it up.

[Jeffrey]

Nobody wants me. Why don't you want to go out?

[Noah]

I don't know. How else I can make it clear that I'm not dating anybody else?

[Michael]

You don't have to.

[Jake]

All you have to do is focus on Khloe going forward. If she's even willing to give you a chance here.

[Jeffrey]

Come on, Chloe.

[Jake]

And I'm going to go ahead and ask her whether it's a good idea or not. Because, Chloe, we would like to offer to send you out with Noah one more time. And we would pay for that date

[Michael]

if you're willing to be honest.

[Chloe]

I did. I really did like him. But I'm nobody's second choice now.

[Brooke]

You're not.

[Noah]

You're not my second choice. You're my only choice.

[Brooke]

That was all so sweet.

[Jake]

I think it sounded more romantic in your head.

[Michael]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jake]

I don't think any man in the history of this segment has. Has ever made himself look less attractive to an entire gender than what we just witnessed there. We tried to take his shovel away, but he kept on digging the hole deeper and deeper for himself.

[Jeffrey]

Like, literally could have called us back and go, hey, I just wanted to clarify that I was rejected.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I'm single. I'm single.

[Jake]

I know this is a hard concept for a lot of men to grasp, but sometimes the best thing you could say.

[Jeffrey]

It's nothing. Just shut up.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Take the phrase, you're my only option out of your dating lexicon, because it turns out nobody finds that romantic.

[Brooke]

No.

[Alexis]

No.

[Brooke]

And that actually doesn't matter about gender.

[Alexis]

Yeah, that applies to all. Just don't say it.

[Jake]

Yeah, well, except for one person. Well, us.

[Brooke]

Yeah, we're the only option.

[Jake]

If we're your only option to help with your dating life, we are flattered.

[Brooke]

Yes.

[Jeffrey]

Call us.

[Michael]

Call us, Email us.

[Jake]

Email the show and we will call that person who is not calling you back. You.

[Jeffrey]

You're our only option, too. That's right.

[Jake]

Go find. All of our second date podcasts are up online wherever you get yours. At Brook and Jeffrey, imagine you're a bride or groom at your wedding. You say your vows, look out over the crowd and realize, I don't know any of the people here.

[Brooke]

What?

[Jeffrey]

What the heck?

[Jake]

And you are thrilled about it.

[Jeffrey]

Are you asleep?

[Brooke]

Oh. Or Are you a 90 day fiance?

[Jake]

No. You are the love this. And it was all your choice. It's actually possible now thanks to a brand new service that's making news and people are loving it. We're going to tell you about it coming up right after this.

[Alexis]

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[Jeffrey]

talk about modern home shopping. It's sort of become a fun side hobby, right? Scrolling listings at night, dreaming about kitchens you haven't seen or backyards you haven't stepped foot in. All from the comfort of, well, literally anywhere. Redfin knows a lot of people like you want to own but are stuck in this browsing mode loop. That's where Redfin flips the script with listings that update within minutes and tours you can book right from the Redfin app. You can see your dream home the moment it appears. Now, liking a listing is easy, but actually landing it? That's where Redfin comes in. Redfin has over 2,200 agents with local expertise, and Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents. That means they help you win. Not just win dough shop. Redfin is built to help you go from just looking to wait. This could actually be home. So become the newest neighbor on the block. Visit redvin.com to start finding and start start owning.

[Michael]

That's redfin.com Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts I I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud.

[Jose]

There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24. 7 Healthcare just got less painful.

[Jeffrey]

Being there for those we love can be so hard for people with chronic migraine 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more. Botox Onobotulinum toxin a prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headaches days a month. It Prevents on average 8 to 9 headache days a month versus 6 to 7 for placebo. Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Botox effects may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as trouble swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. Those with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions like rash, breathing problems, dizziness, neck and injection site pain and headache. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions like age, als, Myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome in medicines like botulinum toxins, which may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor About Botox, visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox.

[Jose]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comDisclosures for some

[Jake]

people, receiving a wedding invite in the mail is an instant adrenaline rush of pure excitement. For others, it's more like a jury duty summons

[Michael]

and I had to go to one last year.

[Jake]

Now they're calling me another one again.

[Brooke]

And why do they always do it? On a three day weekend at a

[Jake]

barn three hours away from society, I

[Michael]

gave these people my address It's Brooke

[Jake]

and Jeffrey in the morning. But look, if you're someone who enjoys weddings, there's a new service that's making news right now that'll actually help you get an invite, even if you're a total stranger.

[Brooke]

Wait.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, like people that want to go to weddings?

[Brooke]

I will say I'm in a phase in my life where most of my friends are either married or divorced and haven't moved to their second wedding yet.

[Jake]

So there's a void in your life where this might work out for you. It's a service called not a wedding crasher.

[Brooke]

Wait, is this like when you say you're not crazy?

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Is it the same type of thing?

[Jake]

It's like if you named a dating service not a stalker. Yeah, I trust it.

[Jeffrey]

Put your GPS right here though.

[Jake]

But basically, it's a platform that connects couples who have extra wedding seats with random strangers online and allows them to attend your wedding.

[Jeffrey]

This is risky. I don't think people want me at their wedding.

[Brooke]

I am a great wedding guest.

[Jake]

You are?

[Jeffrey]

Yes.

[Brooke]

I am the first on a dance floor.

[Michael]

All right.

[Brooke]

I don't get too drunk and I compliment everybody.

[Noah]

Okay.

[Jake]

See, there's a lot of things that I would not want at my wedding. But you might be wondering, why would anybody want to do this? I mean, for the couples, the benefits are. It gives them a way to fill any last minute cancellations that they had or any untaken seats. So they. Sometimes you have to meet like venue minimums.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeffrey]

I never do that.

[Brooke]

Or you don't want to. Like half full table.

[Jake]

Yes.

[Brooke]

Like, that looks weird.

[Jeffrey]

That's actually true.

[Brooke]

I mean, it's always awkward, even just at like a charity event when you're just like sitting there and you're like,

[Jake]

oh, hey, they put me over here.

[Michael]

Cool.

[Jake]

Also, it helps the couples offset wedding costs cuz the online guests have to buy their seats to get into the wedding.

[Alexis]

Oh my God, that's nice.

[Jeffrey]

So do they have like a stranger's table integrate them with everybody else?

[Brooke]

My husband and I would definitely do a date night too.

[Jake]

I could totally see bro and Michael.

[Brooke]

Dude, isn't it fascinating to watch other people's family dynamics?

[Jeffrey]

Especially if you get petty and you're like, our wedding was so much better.

[Brooke]

Oh, of course.

[Jeffrey]

We'll take that compare.

[Jake]

And so for the guests, you know, it gives them a chance to attend a real wedding and celebrate love. Plus, you get to like, access to the good food and the drinks and the dancing and meet new people and

[Brooke]

it's always such A good vibe. And when you go with a date or with your husband, you're like, oh, this is why we got married.

[Michael]

Look at love. That's awesome.

[Brooke]

I'm for the. This Jeff actually makes sense.

[Jake]

Or you can be like, gosh, you didn't say that in your vows. You're not nearly as romantic. Or if you have an upcoming wedding, you can go to one of these and get ideas if you want some inspiration for what to do. So there's a lot of benefits. I will say there is a verification process if you're interested in being a guest.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's good. You can't have. Do you have to have, like, prior criminal records?

[Jeffrey]

Have like a background check?

[Jake]

Well, they don't do a background check, but that's probably be helpful. You do need to provide your ID and a biometric scan in order to be verified.

[Brooke]

Biometric scan?

[Jake]

Yeah, like a photo of your eye or fingerprint scan to verify you are who you say you are.

[Jeffrey]

Do they need my, like, pee too?

[Michael]

Yeah, that's.

[Alexis]

So if you commit the crime at the wedding and have your infiltrator, maybe.

[Jake]

I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you sent in some urine and some blood.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, what the heck. Or just wrap my wedding gift, by

[Brooke]

the way, wrap it up and put it on the table next to the cards.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God.

[Jake]

So that information, once you put it all in, is sent to the couple and their wedding planner, and then they can go through it and approve anybody that they want to attend their wedding.

[Jeffrey]

So you get to, like, pick your wedding people.

[Alexis]

You do.

[Brooke]

I mean, you don't want uggos at your wedding.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

You want the pictures to be good.

[Brooke]

Yeah. And I mean, if I was gonna do this, I would also require them to make up a story about how they know me, you know, because. So that's fun. You don't want to look like a lame bro Bride and groom who have to hire people to go to your wedding. So they definitely need, like, some exotic tale.

[Jake]

Cuz everyone's like, hey, how do you know the couple?

[Brooke]

You'd be like, oh, well, we met backpacking across Europe.

[Jake]

You don't want to say, I bought a ticket to be here online. I'm just here for the crab cakes.

[Jeffrey]

Well, I saved Brook's foot from an alligator, and that's how we met.

[Jake]

Definitely want to do a story. And if you're wondering about price and how much it costs, the couple actually gets to set the price per seat based on what is the cost per meal. How valuable do you think the experience would be to attend it?

[Brooke]

It's going to be so inflated. Everybody thinks their wedding is the best

[Alexis]

experience ever, and they go spend way too much on it.

[Jake]

And I don't know exactly how it works, but I'm assuming it's just like buying tickets on Ticketmaster to a concert or a sporting event with higher prices. If you want to see up close

[Brooke]

to the altar, I bet there's demand pricing for sure.

[Jake]

I want an unobstructive view, an aisle seat, and definitely a kid free table.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Hey, I bought a ticket where I'm the second to cut the cake. Yeah, let's get in line.

[Jake]

Or maybe they do offer some, like VIP backstage pass access to the bride.

[Brooke]

Or way even better bonus, you get to give a speech.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, the random speeches are great.

[Jake]

Just do higher and higher price packages for more benefit.

[Jeffrey]

I want to go now.

[Jake]

We're all sold. It might seem like a strange experience to other people. The service launched only a month ago, and they already have more than 300 potential guests that are currently signed up with 10 available weddings.

[Brooke]

Only 10 weddings for 300 guests?

[Jake]

Well, that's just the pool to choose

[Alexis]

from so far, so it is hard to get picked.

[Brooke]

You get picked, you're popular, you feel good.

[Jake]

People are definitely into it, though. So if you want to attend some random, random wedding this upcoming summer, it's called Not a Wedding crasher.

[Brooke]

Is it not like K N O T?

[Jake]

No, that would have been way smarter. So there you go.

[Michael]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Jake]

We have a brand new player today. A woman originally from Ireland named Genevieve, who made the mistake of falling in love with an American man.

[Brooke]

Oh, what a dummy.

[Jake]

It's been all downhill from there. Now she lives here and says, in America, everything is big. The roads, the stores, the items in the store. But, Genevieve, what's the best big ting in America? What do you think?

[Chloe]

Probably the mountains.

[Brooke]

Oh, the mountains.

[Jeffrey]

How low has your IQ gotten since moving to America?

[Chloe]

I guess we'll find out.

[Jeffrey]

You're right.

[Jake]

All right, we're gonna put your Irish education to the test as Brooke leaves the studio.

[Jeffrey]

No, she said, don't put Ireland on.

[Jake]

I think you're gonna do better than you think. Genevieve, you got 30 seconds on the clock to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know when, you could say pass. But you have to beat Brooke outright if you want to win. Are you ready?

[Chloe]

I'm ready.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Good luck. Your time starts now. On this day in 1980, what Washington state volcano erupted. Adopted man. Fate, Helen which foot did Neil Armstrong set on the moon first?

[Chloe]

Right foot.

[Jake]

From sea to sea is the official motto of what North American country?

[Chloe]

North America.

[Jake]

In which decade did Amazon first make its first sale?

[Chloe]

The 2000s. Yeah, 2000.

[Jake]

British actor Rowan Atkinson is famous for playing the same character in TV and movies for Dan decades. Who is it?

[Chloe]

Mr. Be so happy.

[Michael]

You know.

[Jake]

You know, Genevieve was all over that one.

[Jeffrey]

We all kind of looked at each other.

[Jake]

That was like, built just for you. Now, Brook's gonna come back into the studio, and if you're just joining us, we're on the phone with Genevieve, who originally hails from Ireland, and we would love Genevieve to do a phone tap character with an Irish accent. Could you give us a few pointers on how? Like, how do you put. Pulled that off?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, it's hard.

[Chloe]

Well, just don't pretend to be a leprechaun, please.

[Jake]

That's super annoying.

[Chloe]

The American tries to do an Irish accent, just pretend to be a leprechaun, and it just sounds like the Lucky Charms.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, accents are over exaggerated, right?

[Brooke]

You hate the cereal then, right?

[Chloe]

No one in Ireland even east. Lucky Charms.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

It's an American thing, huh?

[Brooke]

Can you do an American accent for us instead?

[Jeffrey]

A great idea, Brooke.

[Chloe]

Oh, my God, you guys, this is so great. Right now that I'm on Brooke.

[Brooke]

That's actually really good.

[Jake]

Wow, that was great, Genevieve.

[Chloe]

Well, I also have a pre teen daughter with an American accent.

[Brooke]

That helps.

[Jake]

Okay, that does. Now it is Brook's turn. Brooke, are you ready?

[Brooke]

I'm ready.

[Jake]

Your time starts now. On this day in 1980, what Washington state volcano erupted?

[Brooke]

Houston Helens.

[Jake]

Which foot did Neil Armstrong set on the moon first?

[Brooke]

Right.

[Jake]

From sea to sea is the official motto of what North American country?

[Brooke]

North America or United States?

[Jake]

In which decade did Amazon make its very first sale?

[Brooke]

Ooh, 90s.

[Jake]

British actor Rowan Atkinson is famous for playing the same character in TV and movies for decades. Who is it?

[Brooke]

Pass. I have no idea.

[Jake]

Genevieve win will judge you for this when we get to the end. But first we got to go to the scoreboard to see how you both did with our own Jose Shout out

[Michael]

to the University of Phoenix. Thanks for my degree.

[Jeffrey]

Genevieve. You got two correct today.

[Jake]

Well done.

[Jeffrey]

That was an American. Woohoo.

[Jake]

You guys heard it.

[Jeffrey]

And Brock also, too.

[Brooke]

I do appreciate that Woohoo is an international national language.

[Michael]

Yes.

[Jake]

Now, I'm sorry, Genevieve, but in America, ties go to the house. So you actually. Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

[Chloe]

But will you say hi to my kids, Leah and Lowen? They Listen every day.

[Jeffrey]

Hi, Leah and Loen.

[Jake]

Hello to your children. And let's go over the answers for everybody on this day in 1980, Mount St. Helens famously erupted, triggering a 5.1 magnitude earthquake at the same time.

[Noah]

Oh, wow.

[Jake]

Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon using. Using his left foot first. From C to C is the official motto of Canada. Actually, Amazon made its very first sale in the 1990s. 1995, it was an ebook that got purchased. And British actor Rowan Atkinson, he is famous for playing for decades the character Mr. Bean.

[Brooke]

Oh, Mr. Bean.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, you know, but you don't know him.

[Jose]

I also would have accepted Johnny English.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, wow. Deep cut.

[Chloe]

He did a played Johnny English for decades.

[Jose]

There was two movies. They took place in different decades. Genevieve, don't. Johnny English.

[Brooke]

That's right. Take him down. Genevieve.

[Jose]

Johnny English at the opening ceremonies, the Olympics, that counts as team.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, that's actually true.

[Jake]

We will amerisplain British actors to you, Genevieve, if you're over here. So there you go. Anyway, so it was not quite enough to be Brooke today, but just for playing Genevieve, you want a four pack of tickets to see Hot Wheels monster trucks live. Glowing fire.

[Brooke]

Now, that's the America we love.

[Jeffrey]

Yes.

[Jake]

Get ready for more heat and action as Hot Wheels brings the ultimate monster truck show to fans at angel of The Winds Arena, May 30th through 31st.

[Michael]

Rock on. Yeah.

[Chloe]

Wow.

[Michael]

That's cool.

[Jake]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

All right, now, Genevieve, do we Irish goodbye this or how does that work in Ireland?

[Chloe]

You just call it a goodbye. You just call it leave.

[Jake]

You just go.

[Jeffrey]

All right, we'll just hang up on her.

[Jake]

All right. We're not going to say anything else except come back and play again soon, Genevieve, because we're going to do Winbrook's bucks same time tomorrow.

[Michael]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And now for a bit of breaking news. Between your breaking news with me, the geico gecko, here are some things you

[Jeffrey]

ought to know today. People who switch their car insurance to

[Michael]

geico save about $900 a year. Experts are calling that nice to know. Also, plants can hear when bees buzz. My ficus just heard that. And finally, animal experts have confirmed that goats have regional accents.

[Jeffrey]

I'm getting a hint of Irish there.

[Jose]

It feels good to get good news. It feels good to gecko.

[Alexis]

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[Jose]

people turn to telehealth for weight loss,

[Michael]

they're looking for real support.

[Jose]

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[Michael]

Not medical advice eligibility required.

[Jose]

C site for details. You ever wonder how far an EV can take you on one charge? Well, most people drive about 40 miles a day, which means you can do all daily stuff to no problem. Go to work, grab the kids at school, get the groceries and still have enough charge to visit your in laws in the next county. But they don't need to know that. And the best part? You won't have to buy gas at all. The way forward is electric. Explore EVs that fit your life at electricforall.org

[Jake]

Paramount plus is now the home of all your BET favorites.

[Brooke]

What?

[Michael]

Yes, with all new episodes of Tyler

[Jake]

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[Michael]

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[Jeffrey]

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[Michael]

Shy just make sure we protect each other and live sports like ufc. Welcome to the history books. New home, same family.

[Jake]

Your BET favorites are now on Paramount.

[Michael]

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