FULL SHOW: Jeff’s Class of ’26 Song, Ashton’s Parents vs Dating + Dead Flower Date (6/5/26)

Summary

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update – FULL SHOW: Jeff’s Class of ’26 Song, Ashton’s Parents vs Dating + Dead Flower Date (6/5/26)

Episode Overview

This episode of Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update (aired June 7, 2026) is a full-length morning show brimming with signature banter, prank calls, quirky news, and, as always, a new “Second Date Update.” The team celebrates graduation season with Jeffrey's much-anticipated “Class of ‘26” song, checks in on Technical Director Ashton’s awkward return to living with his parents (and how that impacts his dating life), and helps a listener discover why his date went cold after a first meeting—spoiler: wilted flowers and an unexpected family connection cause chaos. Add in games, offbeat news, and non-stop humor—this episode highlights the show’s entertaining, lighthearted style.

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Main Themes & Segments

1. Opening Banter & "Jeff’s Class of ’26 Song" Tease

• The hosts (Brooke, Jeffrey, Jose, Alexis) open by teasing the special surprise: Jeffrey’s original graduation song written for the Class of 2026. Listener interaction kicks off with a shoutout to Milo (“Stubby Raccoon”) for graduating.
• Notable quote:
  • “There is a present...from Jeffrey to the class of 2026. I’ve been singing it all day.” — Brooke (00:06)

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2. Shot Caller Question of the Day: Boys vs. Girls Game (03:04–09:18)

• The hosts play a fast-paced “$100,000 Pyramid: May & June Holidays Edition,” pitting boys against girls in a guessing game about national holidays.
• Key moments:
  • Alexis and Brooke ace their rounds with energetic guessing, while the boys struggle hilariously with “sunscreen.”
  • Quote:
    • “How could the line move slower? Just give me my diploma!” — Jeffrey’s Song (55:56)
• Result: Girls win 9-7, and the boys have to perform “Who Let The Dogs Out?” as their penalty.
  • Timestamp: 08:45–09:07

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3. Trend Talk: Grocery Store Tourism (09:21–11:32)

• Jeffrey introduces “grocery store tourism” as the latest travel trend—visiting international grocery stores to experience authentic foods.
  • Highlights foodie finds around the world, with enthusiastic group discussion about international snacks, food guides, and cultural curiosity.
  • Quote:
    • “If I’m not trying local snacks and foods from the grocery stores, why am I even traveling there?” — Jeffrey (11:17)
  • Notable moment: Laughter about salted fish in Portugal and spicy sauces in South Africa.

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4. Laser Stories: Weird News Roundup (11:45–18:31)

• The team reads bizarre and funny news stories featuring “laser sounds.”

Key Stories:

• Fish in the Office Microwave turns violent: Police detective pulls a gun over the smell (12:04–13:34).
  • “Back away from the fish!” — Brooke (13:03)
• Bazooka leaf blower confusion: Massachusetts man’s leaf blower mistaken for a bazooka (14:06–14:38).
• AI Fashion Fail: Truck shirt features wrong flag and vehicle, all because of AI-generated design (15:54–17:03).
• Spicy Listerine: New mouthwash comes in “heat” levels—mild to ultra-intense (17:12–18:31).
  • “I want to feel my teeth sizzle.” — Jose (18:18)

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5. Ashton Moves Home: Awkward Family Dating Talk (19:09–27:12)

• Recurring Segment: The technical director Ashton records real conversations after moving back with his parents. Focus: how his love life adjusts.
• Main storylines:
  • Ashton asks his parents about bringing dates home. His mother is hesitant; his father is supportive but makes dry jokes about having his own house at that age.
  • Memorable Quotes:
    • “If I’m inviting a woman back here, how do you guys feel about that?” — Ashton (21:58)
    • “I guess I’d just keep to myself…maybe introduce myself.” — Ashton’s Mom (23:35)
    • “How long is long enough [before she moves in]?” — Ashton (26:02)
    • Mom suggests 6 months (“a year seems too long, two weeks too short…let’s split the difference,” 26:11)
  • The segment is filled with good-natured ribbing and relatable family awkwardness.

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6. Phone Tap (Prank Call): The Food Enforcement Unit (27:12–33:10)

• A food truck owner receives a call from "Officer Dottie" of the fictional “City Food Code Enforcement Unit.” The prank centers on bizarre violations (garlic fry smells, parking off the curb) and hilariously failed bribery attempts.
  • Notable Lines:
    • “We got a complaint from a 73-year-old woman who said she couldn't sit on her favorite bench because of the smell.” — Prankster (29:16)
  • The owner gets increasingly frustrated, then learns it’s all a prank orchestrated by his wife.

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7. Second Date Update: "Dead Flower Date" (33:58–50:51)

Part 1: Jacob’s Story (34:02–40:36)

• Jacob, newly single and back on dating apps, gets stood up by Date #1. He accidentally leaves her intended bouquet in his hot car, then meets Rochelle for a first date two days later.
• When they return to his car to get his phone, Rochelle spots the wilted flowers. Jacob lets her assume they’re for her, and she seems touched. They have a pleasant walk, Rochelle carries the faded bouquet, and the date ends with a kiss and thank-you text, but then…crickets.
  • Quote:
    • “We're walking around the mall at this point with these wilted flowers, and people are looking at us like, what’s going on with these two?” — Jacob (38:23)

Part 2: The Reveal (41:22–50:51)

• The show calls Rochelle to ask why she hasn’t called Jacob back. She finally reveals:
  • After the date, she told her family about Jacob and showed his photo. Her aunt bursts out laughing—she went out with Jacob a year ago (four or five times), but he ended things then. Now Rochelle feels awkward about dating her aunt’s ex.
  • Quote:
    • “Play this out in your head. If we were to continue, then you’re going to see her at family functions...so bizarre that she’d have to hang out with someone you made out with!” — Rochelle (47:01)
• Jacob is shocked but amiable, insisting the resemblance makes sense now and reassuring that her aunt “Kathy” is a “classy lady.”
• Ultimately, Rochelle decides the weirdness is too much, but jokes that Jacob could always call her Aunt Kathy if he wants.
  • Quote:
    • “If it’s absolutely, positively, 100% no, then yeah…have Aunt Kathy call me.” — Jacob (49:30)

Takeaway:

• Hilarious, awkward, and ultimately heartwarming, with the panel chirping in about family, dating pools, and the dangers of recycling suitors.

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8. Song of the Week: “My Diploma” by Young Jeffrey (52:06–58:27)

• Jeffrey performs a witty parody of “My Sharona,” lamenting the endless boredom of graduation ceremonies, the pain of waiting for your diploma, and the uncertainty of life after college for the Class of 2026.
  • Key Lyrics:
    • “How could the line move slower? Just give me my diploma!” (55:56)
    • “Toss my cap and I’ll be free temporarily / Move back with my parents outside Pomona / Never get a job make enough to afford to pay rent / The only house that I got is in Monopoly” (56:15)
  • The team congratulates the grads and jokes about Jeffrey possibly being called into HR for his brutal honesty.
  • Memorable Moment: The entire cast (and listeners) laugh at how Jeffrey’s song nails the drudgery and absurdity of modern graduation.

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9. Listener Game: Win Brooke’s Bucks (58:38–end)

• Long-time listener and stay-at-home mom Ginny plays the trivia game “Win Brooke’s Bucks,” joined by her daughter Chaos (literally). It’s a fun, casual finish, with baking talk and a few correct answers; Brooke wins 3-1.

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Older than I am.” / “But she acts so much younger.” — Brooke & Jose, on the mock ‘trade’ of show hosts (01:25)
• “I want to feel my teeth sizzle.” — Jose, about intense mouthwash (18:18)
• “If I’m inviting a woman back here, how do you guys feel about that?” — Ashton to his parents (21:58)
• “So... hypothetically, if things go well, is she allowed to move in?” — Ashton, negotiating with his parents (25:30)
• “How could the line move slower? Just give me my diploma!” — Jeffrey, Song of the Week (55:56)
• “You did a little bit more than that.” / “Kathy is a classy lady, alright? She wouldn’t bring anything up.” — Jacob, Second Date Update (47:14/47:23)

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Episode Highlights

• Playful, fast banter between the hosts sets a fun tone for the show.
• Second Date Update provides signature cringe, comedy, and an unexpected twist with a family connection.
• Jeffrey’s graduation song delivers both nostalgia and hilarious reality.
• Awkward family convos captured candidly give a rare “peek behind the curtain” of living at home as an adult.
• Offbeat news stories and a classic prank call round out an episode full of “could only happen here” moments.

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Structure & Flow

The show is segmented with clear transitions, mixing games, sketches, personal anecdotes, and listener interaction—each infused with the signature wit and camaraderie of Brooke, Jeffrey, and the crew. Whether it’s exploring weird news, dissecting second date disasters, or lampooning modern rituals like graduations, the energy is high, the jokes fast, and the moments memorable—making the episode a standout for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[A]

We got a brand new full hour for you and there is even a special present in it.

[B]

There is?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

How do I collect it?

[A]

From Jeffrey to the class of 2026.

[B]

That's what it is.

[A]

I was like, what? Yeah, you got to stick around for the song of the week. It is fantastic. And it's going to get stuck in your head. I've been singing it all day. Yeah, you know, but. And also a brand new second date. That's so fun and whatever else. But let's get to our comments.

[B]

Well, you know who's going to be happy about that present today is Stubby Raccoon.

[A]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[C]

Commented.

[B]

Hi, Brooke and Jeffrey. I just got the good news that I'll be able to GR Graduate from high school on time next Tuesday. Let's go, Steps. I wanted to thank you guys for helping me get through those late nights of studying and homework. Thanks for all you do From Milo, AKA Stubby Raccoon.

[A]

There we go. Milo Jeffree songs just for you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. All right, let's get to it. Your full hour starts right now.

[C]

It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning and it's time for some good news.

[A]

We're starting off this way. I love it.

[C]

Why not? An audience member joins a professional orchestra to sing save the show. And a cop rides a fawn to freedom.

[B]

Wait.

[C]

Uhoh.

[A]

Why is that so loud?

[C]

That was so loud.

[D]

That's the NFL draft sound.

[C]

We just got an alert from espn. Oh yeah. And this does not happen very often, but apparently there's been a major trade reported in the radio industry.

[A]

ESPN is reporting about the radio world.

[C]

They cover everything now. Let me just look at this. Facts are coming in.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

And this just happened apparently.

[D]

Oh my God. This is breaking.

[A]

What does it say?

[C]

Adam Schefter is now reporting. A blockbuster trade has just been finalized.

[D]

Oh my gosh.

[C]

Hubbard media has agreed to trade aging veteran Brooke Fox. Okay, this is a shocker. It looks like the deal says. It looks like it's a 3 for 1 swap. In return, Hubbard receives Anna from the Anna and Raven show along with two unpaid interns whose contracts are scheduled to exp next Monday.

[D]

Uploads.

[A]

You just traded me for an older, whiter lady.

[C]

I didn't make this trade, Brooke. This is Hubbard's move. And it is quite a move.

[F]

Not.

[C]

Not, I mean, let's say not fully unexpected because Hubbard has been looking to inject more youth and likability into their morning programming for years.

[A]

Older than I am.

[D]

But she acts so much younger.

[C]

This is just the perfect fit at the perfect time. We're going to go to Brooke for comment. Brook, how do you feel about being traded from a company that's always wanted.

[D]

We've been trying forever.

[C]

This deal has been in the works for years.

[A]

I got to say, I'd like to

[G]

say I'm surprised, but.

[C]

Well, there you have it, folks. Bitterness wins in the end.

[F]

Wow.

[C]

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Brooke. That's all I have to say.

[A]

Does anyone else find this funny, or is this just us?

[C]

Everybody's overjoyed.

[F]

See?

[C]

No protests in the room. Now we have to move on to the shot caller question of the day. And I am just really looking forward to working with a professional once this trade is completed. So, Jake, let's do the shot collar one more time before we turn this segment into Anna's Anagrams. Let's go. That's gonna be so good, it's gonna be fire.

[H]

Recently at this time, we attempted a round of Boys versus Girls A hundred thousand dollar Pyramid May Holidays Edition. It was a lackluster showing, to say the least.

[D]

I thought we had fun, though.

[H]

Ultimately, the game ended in a tie. And afterwards, we received hundreds of angry texts at 78592 from listeners saying, you can't end on a tie. That's dumb. Frankly, I agree. Yeah, whatever handsome idiot ended it in a tie has been flogged. And that's why today we're rolling it back one more time to prove once and for all that the boys are smarter during another Boys vs Girls $100,000 pyramid May and June holidays edition of Plenty 20.

[A]

Now, how are we going to know any of them with both months combined?

[I]

No.

[H]

Just like before, you need to give your teammate clues to make them guess the May or June holiday without saying any of the words. Alexis, Every answer will be National Something Day. All right, names were drawn ahead of time, and the girls are going first

[A]

again, as we always do.

[H]

Alexis, here's your list. All right, Alexis, your time starts now.

[A]

Oh, they help with your teeth whitening. Toothpaste, toothbrushes. Oh, dentists. You need to say National Dentist Day.

[B]

Okay. They're slow. They're kind of like slugs.

[A]

But not National Snail Day.

[B]

Yeah, you put your food in this. It's not the recycling. It's not the church.

[A]

It's National Compost Day. National Bin Day. National Garbage Day.

[B]

Wow, Sorry. When you say something over and over again.

[A]

National Repetition Day. National Repeat Day.

[B]

Okay, you ride this. It has two wheels.

[A]

National Motorcycle Day. National Bike Day. National Bicycle Day. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Please. And national thank you Day.

[J]

Yeah.

[C]

There we go.

[D]

That was amazing.

[C]

Although she did harass you to give you the point. I feel like that was really unfair.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

I was hoping that would take more of her time complaining, but she got through all six. It's a six point round for the girls there.

[D]

Job.

[B]

Well, Jeff looked at me and judged me for giving you a hard time, so I stopped.

[A]

Leo's always got that judgy look on his face when it's my turn.

[D]

I'm just gonna go. You gonna.

[H]

Well, Jose, it is your time. Here is your list of holidays.

[D]

A lot of pressure on us, Jeff.

[H]

Your time starts now.

[D]

Cute little water dogs. They hold rocks. They hold hands.

[C]

National Sea Otter Day. National Sea Lion Day.

[I]

Okay.

[D]

You made these in schools and you would make them fly around the room.

[C]

National Air Paper Airplane Day. Yes.

[D]

They're gingers. That's all we call them.

[C]

National Redhead Day.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

My mom's favorite ice cream. National Strawberries.

[D]

It's got marshmallows in it. And chocolate.

[C]

National Rocky Road Day.

[D]

Yes. Back in the day, you would just

[C]

fly in these before blimps. National Hot Air Balloon Day.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

You drink?

[D]

It's an apple flavor. It could be alcohol.

[C]

National Cider Day.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

There we go.

[B]

Is that timer longer today?

[A]

You gave him sea otter when it was obviously just otter. Interesting, Jake. Very controversial.

[C]

Okay. Anna would never raise this much of a SC over for something that she got right.

[H]

All I see is a6.6 scoreboard right now going into round two. And, Brooke, here's your list. And thanks to everyone's constant complaining about the rules and how well you're doing, we're shortening the timer now. You will have less time to guess these National Blank Days.

[C]

Five seconds.

[H]

I don't know, but we'll see. Brooke, are you ready to go? Doesn't matter.

[C]

All right, here you go.

[H]

Start the clock.

[B]

Okay. Do you see these?

[A]

When you're driving down a highway and they show advertisements.

[B]

National Billboard Day.

[A]

Okay. This is what a person who doesn't eat me meat would eat at a cookout or a barbecue. They would put them on a grill.

[B]

Tofu Day.

[A]

No. And they are filled with beans or corn, sometimes some quinoa. National Case. They're in a patty. They're in a patty between two buns.

[B]

Okay, pass. National Veggie Burger Day.

[A]

There it is. Okay. Cops love to eat these. They come. Okay. And it's not the second time you

[B]

lost me on the quinoa.

[C]

Don't eat Mexican food with Alexis. You never Know what's inside.

[D]

And Brooke's diet's so nice.

[C]

She's like.

[F]

It's like you serve with butternut squash and goat chees, maybe a hint of honey.

[C]

Kale chips.

[F]

Kale chips. How do you not.

[A]

I only get three.

[H]

The only thing more disturbing than Alexis's quesadilla toppings was the performance in that round. It's now nine, six girls, which means the guys just need four in this final round to take it and prove that the boys are smarter. All right, Jeffrey, here's your list. Your time will start now.

[C]

You get a mustache from this white liquid when you drink it. Oh.

[D]

National Milk Day.

[C]

You rub this on your body when it's hot outside so you don't burn.

[D]

National Suntan Lotion Day. It's a different word for National Ocean Day.

[C]

Different word.

[D]

National Tanning Day.

[C]

No, the word for the thing that goes on your body.

[D]

National Suntan Lotion Splash.

[C]

No, it's an easier name.

[D]

National Lotion Day.

[I]

No.

[D]

National Sunshine Protection Day.

[C]

Oh, God. Okay, let's move on.

[D]

National Sun Protection Factor Day. National Sunshine exists.

[C]

Okay, Kale chip.

[H]

All right, that was one point. Final score of nine to seven. The girls have won. Today's plenty of 20. Sunscreen.

[F]

Sunscreen.

[C]

Sunscreen.

[A]

I'll never put it on without thinking about you.

[C]

Now the sun exists day. So the boys are gonna be getting shocked together, I presume. And we're gonna be singing the very manly rendition of who Let the Dogs Out? The Baja men.

[F]

Who let the dogs out?

[I]

Who, who, who, who, who?

[F]

Who let the dogs out?

[C]

Who, who?

[A]

Dang. What? Good fun.

[C]

Good work. Yeah, that was your shot. Collar. Question of the day.

[K]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[C]

With summer rapidly approaching, many people and families are looking to go on vacation. Yay. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And when you travel somewhere internationally, depending on what area of the world, maybe you're focused on history, visiting old churches and museums. Or maybe you're more adventure seeking, going ziplining and nude parasailing.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[A]

That's a lot of stuff hanging out up there.

[C]

But that's not the hot trend right now.

[A]

Oh, what is it?

[C]

If you want to go to South Africa or Singapore or Buenos Aires, the best thing that people are doing is grocery store tourism.

[A]

What?

[L]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, that's fascinating. I love to grow grocery stores in other countries.

[B]

Is it like when they come to the U.S. they go to Trader Joe's?

[C]

Exactly. It's a new foodie trend that is called shelf discovery, where if you ever visit a restaurant abroad, they might water down Things for all the tourists and not give you the full authentic local experience. But not at the grocery stores. That's not an option. You're definitely getting the real thing. Like, for example, there's a few chains in South Africa that carry bottles of authentic peri Peri sauce, which is made from fiery African bird's eye chilies blended with garlic and fresh lem.

[A]

We would go to the grocery stores in Portugal when we went, and they have just shelves open of salted fish. Like it's not wrapped or anything. And it is so stinky and it dried out. It was wild.

[C]

You're saying it's easy to shoplift.

[I]

It's cool.

[C]

Or over in Turkey, you could try their deep purple Urfa pepper flakes.

[A]

Oh, so we're going spicy everywhere right now? It sounds like.

[C]

Yeah. And you'll only get these in those locations. You'll never find them over in America.

[A]

Pretty cool.

[C]

The condiments at the grocery stores are unlike anything anywhere else in the world. And the videos on Instagram get millions and millions of views with comments like, this is like a free museum. Yeah. And if I'm not trying local snacks and foods from the grocery stores, why am I even traveling there?

[A]

And it'd be so nice to have a guide because you go in there and you don't necessarily know the language or what people like or what they buy. Like for someone to say, oh, this is it.

[D]

Yeah, come here and find this. I would fly somewhere just for the grocery food.

[C]

Yeah. So if you have a trip planned this summer, keep in mind grocery store tourism. It's the hot thing right now. Laser Stories is coming up next.

[D]

Hello, it's Laser Stories.

[C]

It's the radio segment that's putting the cold and flu game on its ear. With a brand new mashup introducing Ben and Jerry's extra strength nyquil Chunky Monkey.

[D]

Ooh, I would legit eat this, lick

[C]

yourself to sleep, and then wake up in a puddle of yum.

[D]

Ew. Why is it like purple?

[C]

Trust me, you're gonna feel a lot better after a pint of laser stories. Read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does. Except we've got a laser. Those other creamy dreamies just don't. This first laser story is out of Myrtle Beach, S.C. 46 year old detective named Michael Debiase was at his local police headquarters the other day when he walked into the break room and ran into another detective. And that's when Michael noticed something that no one should ever witness in person. His co worker was warming up, up. Fish in the microwave.

[A]

Listen, I get it, all right? Fish and broccoli nobody wants to smell of.

[C]

Immediately, he could tell the foul odor was everywhere, so he yelled at the guy to stop, but he didn't. And that made Michael furious. So he did what any rational police detective would do on his lunch break and pulled a gun on the guy.

[D]

Okay, okay. Back away from the fish.

[A]

You guys wish. You guys wish you had that type of powder. The break room with me.

[C]

Yeah, apparently he was that upset. So that action alerted other officers in the building, who all came running in holding their noses, of course.

[A]

Oh yeah, nobody else could get their gun because their finger was up here.

[C]

In the end, Michael was arrested for pointing a gun at someone in a police station, which is a felony in this circumstance.

[D]

That kind of makes sense.

[A]

See? Microwave fish wins again.

[C]

He was booked and released. And oh yes, he's also been fired. Other officer will not be charged with a crime for microwaving fish. Although maybe there should be a law against it.

[D]

That had to be said.

[C]

This next laser story is out of Massachusetts. Last week, someone called the police to report a man in camouflage clothing was walking around a suburban neighborhood carrying a bazooka. Oh my God.

[A]

Well, but could you see him? Because he was in camouflage, they were

[C]

able to call him. I mean, in Florida this would have been fine, but this is Massachusetts, so come on.

[A]

Yes, they don't like it there.

[C]

It does sound pretty alarming, which is why more than a dozen cops arrived at the scene within minutes. And that's when they located the culprit and found that it wasn't a one man militia wanting to blow stuff up. Oh, he was a one man landscaping service wanting to blow stuff around cuz the so called bazooka was a leaf blower.

[D]

More sense.

[A]

Only in Massachusetts are they not getting it.

[C]

Maybe we could call it a weapon of mess destruction.

[A]

Sorry, that's funny, Alexis.

[C]

I haven't had my third five hour energy yet, so give me a break. The cops didn't mind coming out though. The department said you never know. Everyone's perception can be different. You're better off calling and reporting something than just ignoring it and having it be something worse.

[A]

I mean, in the end, what relief?

[B]

Jeff, I blame you for this.

[C]

Some people on Facebook disagreed with the police's sentiment. And one guy started a poll asking the question, be honest, if it's early and you're trying to get some sleep, would you rather have a crazed man with a bazooka walking down your street? Or yet another gardener with A roaring leaf blower. The bazooka's one big boom.

[D]

The leaf blower is going to a take at least 30 minutes.

[A]

God. The guy our neighbor hires, he just blows it all into our yard. I'm like, what are you doing?

[C]

Blow it back.

[A]

I don't have a leaf blower or a landscaper.

[D]

Time to hire landscaper versus landscaper.

[C]

Landscaping wars. We'll keep you updated.

[D]

They're just blowing at each other.

[C]

Let's go to your next laser story out of the Chatbot Chalet. Fancy Dodge Ram Trucks unveiled a new shirt design in their online shop this week.

[A]

Week.

[C]

Which was called the 2026 Ram Patriotic Unisex T shirt. Yeah.

[A]

Why is it gotta be unisex? That's only for men.

[D]

Everything's on unisex now.

[C]

It was 29.95 released for 4th of July fun.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, but there was one major problem.

[A]

What?

[C]

The marketing people let AI do all the work.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

So first mistake. This patriotic shirt had a big American flag that only had 38 stars on it. Even though, as we all know, there are 50 stars on our actual flag.

[H]

You suck.

[A]

Everyone wants to bring back the old times, so maybe they just want to get rid of a couple estates.

[C]

Also, and this may be an even bigger screw up. It featured a truck with the slogan Ram Power. But the image wasn't actually a Ram. It was a Toyota Tacoma. A completely different company.

[D]

We've compiled the most popular truck and it's this one.

[C]

So mistakes were made that even a fifth grader would know if they were designing this shirt.

[G]

Oh, no.

[C]

Not surprisingly, it has since been removed from the website.

[A]

Oh, it sounds like an icon now, though.

[D]

Yeah, I think people want it now. I want the mistake 1.

[C]

No word on if AI will help with their next online design.

[D]

Darn.

[C]

We'll wait and see. This final laser story is out of Hygiene Headquarters. If you're at a Thai restaurant, you may keep a close eye on the number of peppers on the menu to be cautious of the spice level for each dish.

[D]

Yeah, I give you about a three.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Now you can do the same thing with Listerine. Oh.

[A]

Cause that stuff gets spicy.

[D]

It's like hot.

[A]

Yeah. You're like, whoa. That was. That 60 second mark just woke me up.

[C]

Mouthwash brand is introducing a range of intensities, so you'll be able to avoid blasting your entire mouth every time you swish.

[A]

You know, sometimes you don't know if you just literally got rid of your gums.

[C]

And for starters, there's going to be three to Pick from extra mild, which they say is new and ultra gentle for a softer swish.

[D]

Perfect.

[C]

Just mild, smooth and balanced for an easy everyday clean or intense. Bold and powerful for that classic face reddening blow your top volcano experience.

[D]

I want to feel my teeth sizzle.

[C]

Ready to clean your tonsils too.

[A]

You gotta do this wearing that shirt though. Yeah.

[C]

Ram power to the throat.

[A]

Just fit.

[D]

I bought American Breath.

[C]

Yeah. These three have already hit some stores and are now being rolled out nationwide. It's unclear if they plan to expand the range like offering some even spicier options for people who aren't softies. Like this guy. Three spicy warnings printed on the outside of his shell. Right now they're caution. May attempt slow speed seduction. Do not feed after flirting. And last but not least, objects and shell may be hornier than they appear. Look out. That sound means laser stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again same time on Monday.

[K]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[C]

We have a new recurring segment on this show. It's very topical and very personal.

[A]

Yes, it is.

[C]

Cause our own technical director, Ashton, who's 110 pounds, soaking wet with red hair, just moved back with his folks to save some money.

[A]

Which by the way, if you start adding weights to anybody else on this show, I'm gonna start to have a problem.

[C]

Yeah, okay. We're only doing it for Ashton. Cause he's so special to us. And he's been recording audio of his meeting with his family. So if you want a little peek behind the curtain of a supple young man's most triumphant moment of his entire life, you have come to the right place. We're gonna play the audio from Ashton's family right after this. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And it is time for our new recurring bi weekly tri curious segment.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Ashton's back with his parents.

[M]

Yay.

[C]

Hit the music.

[A]

Guess who's dragging his baggage back to the door. 110 pounds. Yeah, he's hitting the floo with hair

[H]

like a brush fire.

[B]

Single again. Well, what a surprise. He's hogging the shower, ignoring the cries.

[C]

What's he doing in there?

[B]

Living rent free. Yeah, he's winning the race of occupying all of his parents space. Ashton, you king of the basement suite.

[A]

Jazz hands.

[D]

What's he doing in there?

[C]

If you didn't know, Our last late 20s Technical Director, Ashton has moved back into his parents house. Splitting shaving cream with his dad and shower time with his aunt. And I'm. I'm not even Joking about that.

[A]

Yeah, his aunt moved back in, too.

[N]

Yeah.

[D]

Not share at the same time. They have to wait their turn.

[C]

They have to schedule it. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But for the past couple weeks that he's been living there, he has got permission to record their occasional family meetings around the dinner table.

[A]

Oh, my God. We had someone comment on the podcast that said Ashton's family gives them field mouse vibes.

[B]

It was so perfect.

[C]

And the thing is, at this point, they're more like roommate. I mean, they're still family, but you're always a mom.

[A]

Listen, you're always a mom.

[D]

Well, yeah.

[C]

The thing is, you know, at this age, I got to figure out how to live together and get along.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Yeah. So what was the topic of discussion this time? Well, now that he's saving money by living at home, Ashton's got more scratch for hot dates.

[A]

Hey, let's go, Ashton.

[C]

And there's obviously some logistics to work out there, so let's listen as Ashton throws out a hypothetical scenario to his folks.

[M]

For some reason, things are going well at Chili's or Applebee's or wherever I am with them, Right?

[A]

Yep.

[M]

Okay. And I'm like, hey, let's go back to the pad. I'm not gonna say my place because that's incredibly misleading.

[E]

Okay, sure. That's good.

[M]

How would you guys want me to do it?

[E]

Do it? I mean, what are we talking about

[M]

if I'm inviting a woman back here? How do you guys feel about that?

[E]

Well, I mean, I'm. I'm hoping it happens, God willing, in the creek don't rise. I mean.

[I]

Yeah.

[M]

What about you, Mom? You seem a little bit more hesitant.

[E]

She does seem more hesitant. I don't know why that is.

[O]

Yeah, I'm more hesitant.

[A]

I would never.

[O]

I would never do that.

[L]

Why are you looking at me?

[M]

I know.

[O]

Well, because we dated one.

[E]

Okay.

[M]

You never brought him back to your place?

[C]

No, it was always his.

[E]

I had the own. Own house. Why would.

[C]

Yeah, we'd never do that.

[E]

That would make no sense. I do remember going over to your aunts and we had to sleep in separate bedrooms at one time, but.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Your mom is a little traditional and

[B]

Dad's rooting for you.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Somebody else catches dad accidentally, like, humble bragging like. Or humble insulting like. I don't know. I had my own house when I was your age.

[I]

Yeah.

[C]

I would never be in the humiliating position they. Oh, I mean, sorry, Ashton. Yeah, of course we'd love to have

[A]

you, Honey, bring her home. Definitely.

[C]

I mean, you're definitely Learning a lot.

[A]

Still unclear, though. Like, what do you do with the lady? Do you bring her back or do you don't.

[C]

I think more can be clear because. Let's fast forward. Ashton asked them another great hypothetical question in the dating world about if you got the date already back inside the house and an uncomfortable situation came up.

[A]

Here we go. Let's go.

[L]

J.

[C]

What are we talking, Ash? Let's hear it.

[M]

Both of you. Walk into the kitchen and see me kissing a lady. What do you do? What happens?

[O]

I guess I would just keep to myself. I guess maybe introduce myself.

[E]

Okay.

[M]

So you'd interrupt our makeup session.

[F]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[O]

You said kiss, not make out. Okay. So if you're making out, I am not going to disturb the process.

[E]

We're just talking about a kiss. I don't. I would just continue, you know, getting the eggs out of the fridge or whatever I was gonna do.

[C]

I don't.

[E]

I don't. I don't know why that's.

[C]

Why is that why?

[O]

Well, you don't want to big deal it. Right?

[E]

You're two adults. Assuming she's an adult, we are going

[M]

to assume that, actually.

[D]

Right. So let's just.

[E]

Yeah, you're two adults. It was not.

[O]

We raised you well enough.

[E]

It's not a big deal.

[M]

Yeah, I did not appreciate that at all, Dad.

[H]

I just want.

[C]

I want that to be clear.

[D]

My mom sounds like the innocent one and your dad sounds like the opposite.

[A]

I just love the image of. Of Asher making out with someone and his dad going to get eggs, just scooching around behind us.

[M]

Just move a little.

[C]

Please don't make me. I'm just gonna make an omelette. You guys keep going at it.

[D]

I do love that they all sound the same.

[A]

And Ashton would continue. The makeup said, don't worry about my dad.

[C]

Bottom line, it's not a big deal. Maybe third base. By the way, microwave. Then they might step in. But at this point, you're good.

[D]

You can't cook in that kitchen.

[A]

All your mom will do is introduce

[G]

herself

[D]

or just stand and watch. It sounded like at first I wouldn't disturb.

[B]

Yeah, she doesn't want to big deal it, remember?

[C]

Just joining us, we're doing a special segment following our technical director, Ashton, on his journey to live back home with his parents in his late 20s. So we're playing audio from their weekly family rundown. And the best part of the segment is that Ashton is willing to take these questions farther.

[A]

Yeah. Without being asked.

[C]

Probably Ashton has a different scenario that he's a little bit concerned About.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[M]

So hypothetically, if things go well, is she allowed to move in?

[E]

Well, I would say yes.

[O]

Okay, hold on just a minute. Yeah, for the most part, yeah, just say that.

[G]

No, no, no.

[E]

He, he, he posed. She might.

[O]

She might turn out to be psycho.

[E]

First of all, he's not gonna be dating a psycho. First of all. Second of all, he posed a question of further in the relationship. Or how did you phrase it?

[M]

Yeah, you said if things go well, she's already moving.

[O]

Yeah, things go well. Relationship.

[A]

Are we.

[M]

I don't know, what do we talk, a couple weeks?

[E]

Yeah, moving in in a couple weeks.

[M]

But how long is long enough?

[O]

A year now?

[E]

I would say six months.

[C]

Whoa, really?

[E]

What? A year seems too long. Two weeks seems too few. You know, we're splitting the difference. I'm gonna go six months.

[M]

How long did you guys stay before you moved in with each other?

[E]

Oh, yeah, that's. You're gonna have to ask her. I don't.

[O]

15 months.

[E]

That's not true.

[C]

They checked up after 48 hours.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, honestly, your mom was probably like, we're not doing this separate bedroom at the aunt's house anymore.

[D]

At his own house.

[C]

Once the girl sees his dad making those eggs though, she's going to want to move in right away, so you better be careful.

[M]

That was the thing that he kept constantly saying. He's like, look, all I'm saying is

[C]

just let me know how many eggs

[M]

I need to cook in the morning.

[C]

Oh, that's a good guy.

[A]

They're so cute.

[C]

That was another edition of Ashton's. Back home with his parents.

[A]

I hope you never leave.

[B]

No, stay there forever.

[C]

Text in 78592 if you want to hear more or if you've had enough.

[B]

No way.

[C]

And no, Ashton's parents are not allowed to take texting.

[A]

I'm texting right now.

[C]

Let us know. Phone tabs coming up right after this. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Time for your prank phone call. And for the last two years, a guy in our city has been running a successful food truck. We're talking five star reviews, lots of return customers. Things are going really well. Except for one tiny headache. He recently complained to his wife the city is making things tougher on him.

[D]

Oh yeah, kind of makes sense.

[C]

Whether they're jacking up fees or different types of rules and permits, whatever it may be, I think it's time that he gets a call from the feu.

[D]

What's that?

[C]

That's the made up government agency, the Food Enforcement Unit. And it's happening in your phone tap right now.

[K]

Brook and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.

[L]

Hello?

[A]

Hello, sir, Am I speaking to Jared? We're.

[L]

Yes.

[I]

Who's this?

[A]

Name's officer Dottie Higgins from the City Food Code Enforcement Unit.

[I]

Food Code Enforcement?

[A]

That's right. Fu.

[I]

Whoa, F. Me?

[A]

No, sir, FEU.

[G]

Food Enforcement Unit.

[I]

I thought you said something else. But what is this regarding?

[G]

Look, trouble, I can see if you could listen from your previous actions with your food truck that you could give two craps about how your food affects city's population.

[I]

What? How? How?

[G]

Oh, we have you clocked, cuz. Last week when you were at Plaza. Okay, Turns out your food truck was parked 5 inches off the curb. Huh?

[I]

What the hell does that have to do with anything?

[G]

You and I both know you're supposed to be 8 to 10.

[I]

I'm sorry, I'm not out there with a tape measure. So I'm sorry, but I just need to know how does that affect anything that the Food Enforcement code people need to know about?

[D]

Wow.

[G]

It affects everything. Thank you very much. Because the smell of your garlic fries wafted in the park and created a public nuisance.

[I]

A public nuisance?

[G]

That's right. We got a complaint from a 73 year old woman who said she couldn't sit on her favorite bench because of the smell.

[I]

This is ridiculous.

[L]

It's a food truck.

[I]

It's going to smell like food.

[G]

Okay, tough guy. Okay, so public well being is ridiculous to you now, huh?

[I]

No, no, it's just.

[J]

It's just.

[I]

I don't know why you laughing. It's just so nitpicky. I mean, if you wanted me to move my truck, that's fine.

[C]

But you know what?

[G]

You listen to me because we're beyond that. Sir, we are well beyond that. The next time we see your truck out and about, you are subject to potential impound.

[I]

You know what?

[L]

This.

[I]

I swear, once this city hired this new mayor, everything went to hell. And now you're calling me about moving my truck? Three minutes. How can you even measure three inches from that far away?

[G]

I knew you'd be one to blame somebody else. But sir, it is 8 to 10 inches. We've gone over this.

[I]

Whatever. What, ma'?

[O]

Am.

[I]

Whatever. At this point, I might as well shut the whole damn thing down.

[G]

Let's not go there. Let's not get crazy.

[I]

I'm going there. What's the point if this city regulations are this strict?

[G]

Wow. Let's all take a deep breath because maybe I can find some wiggle room for You.

[I]

What does that supposed to mean? Wiggle room.

[G]

I'm just saying, rumor is on Reddit that you make a mean crispy chicken sandwich, if you know what I mean.

[I]

So what? So what?

[G]

You can't see me winking? I'm winking right now. Mean crispy chicken sandwich wink.

[I]

So?

[C]

So what?

[I]

What is a winking supposed to mean? What, you want me to stop serving that, too?

[G]

Okay, you're not getting it. Actually, just the opposite. Maybe let Officer Dottie over here sample it for free, huh? And then we pretend this conversation never happened.

[I]

Excuse me?

[G]

That's right. I'll rip up that garlic fry citation faster than you can blink. Okay? And the parking ticket, too.

[M]

Shoot.

[G]

I'll even pop some handcuffs on that old windbag that complained about you, and we'll just be on our way.

[C]

Wow.

[G]

No hard, no foul, am I right?

[I]

Okay, so now you want me to food bribe you?

[G]

Oh, sir, we're not using those type of words, are we?

[I]

I mean, what is it then? What else is it?

[G]

I think it's absolutely nothing. Because remember, this call never happened.

[I]

Unbelievable. You know what? I'm going to report you. What was your name again? You're getting reported.

[G]

No, sir, you've been reported.

[I]

Well, no, I'm. No, I'm reporting you now.

[G]

That's not how this works. You can't be reported. And then you report me and then I report you again. That just doesn't make any sense.

[I]

Watch. Watch how it goes. I'm going to make it make sense.

[G]

I don't think you're listening. Okay, as long as we can just schedule a delivery of two to three of those babies once a week at no charge to me, then I'm not even looking in your direction.

[I]

I hope this call is recorded.

[L]

I.

[I]

You are extorting me out of my food.

[G]

You know what? You got something, right? Finally, sir, because this call is definitely being recorded.

[I]

Good. It needs to be recorded.

[G]

Yeah, it's being recorded for the radio

[A]

station because this is actually Brooke from Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning doing a phone tap on you. Your wife, Evie set you up for a prank phone call. She says she listens and this is a prank. She wanted to make you laugh because

[G]

running a food truck is not easy business.

[C]

Oh, I can't believe it.

[I]

I'm so happy I can laugh about this now because that was about to ruin my whole day.

[G]

Hey, the FEU is not messing around.

[I]

Yeah, yeah, Fu.

[L]

Definitely.

[I]

For real.

[D]

Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.

[K]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning

[C]

here at the Station. We have a shared single bathroom that only on air talent can use.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, there's code.

[C]

Yeah, I just walked in there.

[D]

Oh boy.

[C]

And noticed someone forgot something inside. Something pretty awkward.

[D]

Yeah, I posted about this.

[C]

Let's just be honest. Who here is missing their box of nice and easy natural blonde root Touch up hair dye? Alexis.

[B]

Looking at Alexis, this is natural.

[C]

Natural, just like the box says.

[D]

Looks all natural.

[C]

Look, no need to be ashamed. In fact, one of our listeners completely understands because he accidentally left something inside his car that his date was never supposed to see.

[A]

It can't be as embarrassing as Alexis's situation.

[B]

You dye your hair, it could be yours.

[C]

His quick thinking explanation was gonna save him, but now, now he's not so sure because she's not calling him back. You're gonna find out what it was in your brand new second date update. Next.

[K]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[A]

Second date update.

[C]

We've brought up this question on the show before. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Is it appropriate on a first date for a guy to bring flowers?

[A]

I'm guessing if we've asked it before, we never got an answer.

[C]

It was a little bit in the air. We were not really sure. Like if the guy wants to do that, can it just happen randomly, unannounced? Should they have discussed the idea of flowers ahead of time?

[A]

That's weird.

[C]

If she's less than a six, are flowers even needed?

[D]

Ouch.

[C]

Those aren't my words. Those are from Jose's Twitter poll.

[A]

Oh wow.

[D]

He just have a Twitter, but that's cool.

[C]

Well if you have a poll on there at least. But I only ask cuz our listener Jacob had a flower dilemma come up during his date. He wasn't quite sure how to handle it, but let's talk to him about it. Jacob, thank you for being here. First of all, we'll get to how flowers played into your date in a second. But according to your email, it says you're newly single and back on the

[L]

dating apps, recently single. And I'm trying to go out on a lot of dates. I hope that doesn't sound like callous,

[A]

whatever, but no, you're playing the numbers

[C]

game, casting a wide net.

[L]

But like apparently on the apps people are just like ghosting more than ever, which really annoying. And I'm like talking like even if you choose a time and a place, they'll just not show.

[A]

Oh, I just can't imagine being so disrespectful standing someone up.

[C]

I mean it's happened to a lot of guys, at least what we've heard. A lot of dudes come on the show and are saying that this is more and more frequent. Yeah, I would assume both.

[D]

Both sexes do it.

[A]

Just common courtesy. It shouldn't happen to anyone.

[D]

Totally.

[C]

Yeah. We're one with you. Unless you did something horrible. So go on. Yeah.

[D]

Then you deserve it.

[C]

Yeah, keep going.

[A]

He said a junk pic from the bathroom.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Then we're on her side, but sorry, go ahead. What's going on?

[L]

So that happened to me two days before I met Rochelle, who is who I'm calling about.

[A]

Okay, so why are you telling us about the ghosting two days before when it wasn't Rochelle that did it?

[L]

That will come into play. Rochelle and I, we met on the apps, and she's super cute, and we decided to meet up at an outdoor mall, and she did show up.

[A]

Oh, well, here we go.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

V for victory.

[C]

Yeah, way to hold back on that junk pick. How was it with you and Rochelle?

[L]

It was good. I mean, we walked around. We did some window. I mean, we did more like window shopping. I didn't. We were gonna grab a bite, but before we did, I realized that I left my cell phone in my car.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, man. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Dude, how did you not realize before?

[A]

Jose just had a panic.

[D]

Five steps without it.

[A]

So What?

[C]

Why is that important?

[L]

Well, I was like, do you mind if we go and grab it? And she's like, yeah, sure.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

That'd be wild if she said no.

[C]

It's like you're trying to lure me into the parking lot.

[L]

And so I open up the passenger door, and she sees that there's a bouquet of flowers on the seat.

[A]

Why?

[D]

Oh, that was your surprise?

[C]

This is where the flowers come in. Why are they in the car?

[A]

He didn't say that. What were the flowers from?

[L]

They were for that girl that ghosted me two days before.

[F]

Oh,

[A]

sad, wilted flowers.

[D]

And the hot car flowers.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So she sees those. Those.

[L]

Yes. They were not in the best shape.

[C]

Oh, God.

[L]

They weren't completely, like, horrific, but it wasn't good.

[D]

Yeah, it was okay.

[B]

At least they were in the car, so you could blame it. Like, wow, it was really hot in here.

[A]

Wait, did you try to gift them to her at that point?

[L]

Well, I didn't try. She just kind of took it upon herself. She saw them and she says, oh, my gosh, you're so sweet. And, you know, as soon as she had that reaction, I'm like. Like, yes, I am sweet, aren't I?

[D]

You're not Gonna stop her down and be like, let me explain. These were for another woman.

[A]

I mean, you probably were excited then, right? Like, she's excited.

[L]

Absolutely. I mean, look, I'm not gonna lie. It was my proudest moment. But she was excited about it. I was like, awesome. Yeah. But we're walking around the mall at this point with these wilted flowers, and people are looking at us like, what? What's going on with these two?

[A]

Yeah, they're like, tell us where you got those, because we do not want

[C]

to shop at that flower shop. Boyfriend of here. My God.

[L]

But overall, she was really cool. And she said she really appreciated the flowers. She gave me a kiss on the lips. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't like, you

[D]

know, wasn't a make out, but.

[L]

Yeah, it was a necking.

[A]

1960s are back in the chat.

[D]

Did you give her a hickey?

[L]

No, I didn't give her. I didn't give her my letter jacket either.

[M]

But

[C]

a kiss at the end of the day, that's a pretty good sign that things went well.

[B]

You guys say that, but I feel

[C]

like you would kiss people even if things didn't go well. Is that what you're saying, Alexis?

[N]

Yes.

[C]

Yes. You would have gone to third base with him, even with the weird wilted flowers.

[D]

I married a guy for two weeks.

[C]

Well, maybe it's not as good as we all thought it was then.

[G]

Sorry.

[A]

I think it sounds sweet.

[C]

Okay, so what's happened since the outdoor male?

[L]

Well, nothing. I mean, look, I. I told her when we said her goodbyes after the kiss. Text me when you get home. She got home, she texted me, she thanked me, and all signs seemed like things were going great.

[A]

So wait, have you asked her out again?

[L]

Of course. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[L]

I just haven't heard from her.

[D]

Oh, that's really weird.

[A]

She sounds like a catch.

[D]

Yeah, it really does.

[A]

I'm just saying, maybe she has other dates and something else came up.

[C]

That's possible. We'll find out when we come back. Try and get you your second date update with Rochelle, the wilted flower girl, right after this. Hold on.

[K]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[B]

Second date update.

[C]

Running a little bit late here. So just to quickly recap, our listener, Jacob was ghosted by a woman two days before his date with a new lady named Relle. And when he forgot his phone in the car, they both went to go grab it open the passenger door door. And there on the front seat were some flowers. Not meant for Rochelle, but for the girl who no showed on him two days prior. Yeah, so they Walked around the outdoor mall afterwards with some dead flowers in tow.

[D]

Almost dead, he said.

[C]

Not all the way.

[A]

Rochelle didn't know the difference. She thought it was for her.

[C]

Yeah, she grabbed him.

[J]

She did.

[C]

Ended up having a pretty good time and even got a kiss and a thank you text at the end of the night. But since then, nothing. So, Brooke, is there any chance that the half dead flowers played a role in him not getting another hangout? You think?

[A]

I can't imagine. Cuz she's the one that jumped to the assumption. Like she saw him and was like, oh my God. Right? Isn't that right?

[I]

Yeah.

[L]

Yeah, she'd be super excited about it.

[C]

Yeah, Maybe she's deathly allergic to this particular type of flower and the reaction didn't happen till after the date.

[A]

I didn't think that.

[B]

That's tragic.

[C]

Trust me. I think of all the most worst case scenarios that could possibly happen. So we got you covered, Jacob.

[D]

Yeah.

[L]

Yeah, I appreciate it.

[A]

Jeffrey's anxiety is doing the work for you.

[C]

Yeah, but let's just call Rochelle and see if she picks up. Hopefully she has some answers for us.

[L]

Thank you.

[C]

Here we go. I'm gonna dial it right now.

[N]

Hello?

[C]

Hey, is this Rachelle?

[N]

Yes.

[C]

Good. We're happy to hear that you're alive and well. And we need to inform you you're on a radio show right now called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Hi, good morning.

[A]

Welcome to the show. Rochelle.

[N]

Hi.

[L]

Hey, what's this?

[N]

What's this about?

[D]

We're working.

[C]

Yes, we are working specifically on a segment called the Second Date Update.

[A]

Have you heard one of those before?

[L]

Okay.

[N]

I think so.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. So this is kind of fun. You get to be a part of one. Because one of our listeners wanted us to reach out to you to try and figure out why after going out one time, you haven't met up for a second time.

[L]

Time.

[N]

Okay.

[A]

When he told us the story. Honestly, I don't know why either. Like, you guys sound like it was a great time.

[C]

Yeah, the connection scene there with a guy named Jacob.

[N]

Oh, I don't. I don't know if I should talk about that. That's kind of weird.

[A]

What?

[C]

Wait, really?

[D]

Why?

[A]

Jacob, that you went to the mall with.

[O]

With.

[N]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[C]

He recapped the date for us. That's how this segment works. We hear about it and then we call to try and figure out if there's a reason why you're not calling him back. Oh, did he mess up on the date or afterwards?

[A]

Or did he.

[B]

How did he Mess up on.

[C]

We're assuming he did, maybe he didn't. And it's something going on in your life that's totally separate, but he's just completely in the dark.

[N]

It's so weird, you guys. I don't know if I should talk about this.

[A]

Oh, it's weird. That makes me want you to tell us so much more. I can't even tell you. It's just one date that you went on. Like, you can't hurt his feelings.

[N]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[N]

Okay, so, like, the date itself was, like, really good. Like, we had a nice time. He was a gentleman. He was really nice.

[J]

Okay.

[N]

But, like, after the date, I went out with my family for dinner, and my love life came up.

[D]

It always does with family.

[C]

Yeah, if you're single, they want to know, are you married yet?

[L]

Exactly.

[N]

So they were asking me how the date went and asked to see a picture. So I showed them this photo from the app, and my aunt starts laughing, and I was like, what? And she goes, I know him.

[A]

What?

[C]

Your aunt knows j. Jacob?

[N]

Yes. They went out a little over a year ago.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I wanted this to be like, he's a barista at my favorite coffee shop situation.

[N]

I would have loved that. But it's not.

[C]

Went out. Like, went out one time or they dated.

[N]

They went out like, a handful of times, like four or five times. And he ended up, like, ending things with her because he started dating someone else, Like, I guess, a little bit. Seriously?

[A]

Oh, he said that he was back on the app.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Because he just got out of her relationship.

[A]

Dude, I bet he has no idea. I would be mortified if I was going out with someone's niece or nephew.

[D]

He's got a tie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, the aunt was first, so.

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[C]

So that's the reason there's nothing that he did to, like, mess it up.

[A]

He dated the aunt?

[C]

Well, not. I mean, yes. That's history, though.

[B]

You gotta be worried. Your aunt's in the same dating pool as you. She's the same guys as you.

[C]

Obviously your aunt liked him enough to. To go out with him four or five times. That must mean she felt pretty strongly about him.

[N]

Yeah, that's why it's really weird.

[A]

Oh, man.

[C]

Well, okay, I hear what you're saying, and I understand the feelings are a little bit mixed, but why don't you wait till making a final decision until you talk to Jacob directly, because he is on the other line of this call listening right now.

[A]

Probably in shock.

[C]

Honestly, I'm really curious. He Is. Jacob, are you there?

[L]

I am here.

[N]

Oh, my God. I was not prepared for this.

[L]

I see your voice again. I gotta. Okay. Who's your aunt?

[A]

Oh, no.

[N]

Okay, well, she's my aunt Kathy. Kathy is her name. Oh, my God.

[L]

You're Kathy's niece.

[N]

Oh, my God, yes.

[C]

We talked about her, I guess.

[I]

Wow.

[A]

Is Kathy, like, way younger than your mom or dad?

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm hoping.

[N]

She's in her, like, very early 40s. Like, she just turned 41.

[J]

Okay.

[N]

I'm in my late 20s, so.

[A]

Okay. It's not like a crazy gay gap.

[L]

This is wild. Because, I mean, now I can totally see the resemblance. And.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, that's not.

[A]

That's not fixing it, Jacob.

[L]

I mean, but that's why you're not calling me, because I. I dated your aunt for a bit.

[N]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I mean, yeah, Jacob, it was one

[D]

date, maybe, but four or five? We all know what happened.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At least your aunt didn't say anything bad about him.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or did she?

[N]

I mean, she said really nice things about him. It's just we're like. Play this out in your head. If we were to continue, then you're gonna see her at family function. Like, that's so bizarre that she would be having to hang out with someone you made out with.

[C]

Brooke goes to her family reunions and they go just fine.

[A]

Yeah, no, I mean, Rochelle is just. They're adults. Like, who cares who you made out with? Making out is better than what I

[C]

thought it was gonna be, Honest. Yeah, it's just making out.

[L]

I mean, we. We did a little bit more than that.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[F]

She set you up.

[L]

Look, Kathy is a classy lady, all right? She wouldn't bring anything up.

[N]

I know, but I know now, and it's weird.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, not just you guys. The whole family that was at that dinner knows.

[D]

Yeah. And imagine a family dinner now, like a year.

[A]

And Kathy's the cool aunt, right? She's dating the same type of guys that you're dating. She's the one that's like, yeah, if

[C]

it doesn't happen with Jacob, it's gonn happen with the next dude. You did. Who hasn't got Aunt Kathy been with.

[A]

There's no chance of Aunt Kathy hitting on him at this point because she's already been there, done that.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

That's a point.

[L]

Look, listen, Kathy, I mean it. I'm. I'm sorry.

[C]

Oh, God.

[D]

Sound the same.

[L]

I'm sorry.

[N]

I'm sorry.

[L]

I'm sorry.

[N]

I'm sorry.

[L]

That that came out obviously very wrong.

[C]

There's a lot of emotions happening right now.

[L]

Look, yes, that happened. Happened. And. But honestly, I want to go out with you. You know, I thought we had a really great time and obviously that's why we're here on this. On the show. And. Yeah, I'm just really interested.

[N]

I'm. Thank you. That's so nice. And you are really nice.

[C]

And I'm gonna keep going with this momentum that you're saying right now.

[A]

Don't let the energy shift.

[C]

I mean, feel bad going into this call. Did I think we. We were the type of show that would try to set up a woman with their aunt's ex boyfriend?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, we. For sure.

[C]

I'm going in. I didn't, but now I'm full force going for it. We would love to send you on another date, Relle, with Jacob. And if you say yes, we would pay for it.

[A]

I mean, you obviously like him. You had a great time. How often do you meet a guy like that on the apps that not only shows up, but shows up in a way that makes you feel good

[C]

and brings you flowers?

[D]

Oh, we didn't talk about the flowers.

[N]

Super nice.

[A]

It is.

[N]

My aunt even said that he was always a gentleman, but unfortunately, I. I just don't think I can get past the weirdness. But my Aunt Kathy is still single. If you want to give her a

[D]

call, go back to.

[A]

You did have a lot of great things to say about Kathy.

[C]

So, Jacob, it sounds like it's a

[L]

no from Rochelle, but Rochelle, it's absolutely, positively, 100% no. Then, yeah, have Aunt Kathy call me.

[I]

Okay.

[A]

That was not romantic.

[C]

I feel love happening. If everybody else says no, then sure,

[D]

I'll pick up Aunt Cabby. Whatever her name.

[C]

That's the best Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning can get you.

[K]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[C]

Okay, right. Let's just admit. Was that a huge mistake that he accidentally called her by her aunt's name during the call?

[A]

I mean, yes.

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[D]

Voices probably sound the same. He didn't realize.

[C]

Totally.

[A]

We said Aunt Kathy how many times? Cuz it's just kind of a fun name to say. Who doesn't have an aunt?

[B]

You mistake names all the time trying to make it better.

[A]

I enjoy the name while she remembers it.

[C]

Yeah, and at least it wasn't during interview intimate time.

[F]

Oh, right.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Silver lining. And I'm not talking about Aunt Kathy's hair either.

[A]

I'm just saying she's in her early 40s, Jeff. Geez. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, middle age.

[C]

Yeah, well, that's when the hair starts, so I know how it works. I'm just saying it could have been worse. Which we're adopting as the new slogan of our morning show. Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning could have been way worse.

[A]

I feel like it's false advertising. Yeah, I don't know if it does get worse than some of the things that happen here.

[C]

To find out how much worse it can get, go find our podcast at Brooke and Jeffrey on Apple, Iheart, Spotify, like, and subscribe Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. I'm not afraid to admit this, but the rumors are true.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

You may have seen the reports online that I stormed out of a community theater production of Cats. Well, yes, I did.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Are you going to tell us why?

[C]

I don't care if it was all 12 year olds either. I don't feel bad. Any true performer wants you to angrily storm out if you're not fully satisfied with the performance.

[D]

Really?

[A]

I don't know why. I thought you were in the performance this whole time.

[D]

Watch.

[A]

I see.

[C]

Wasn't good enough and I had to leave.

[D]

It was an insult.

[C]

It was. And you know what? I hope that you would do the same to me. I want every everyone in this room to march out of this studio.

[F]

Wait.

[A]

See ya. Okay.

[C]

I didn't even get to my song of the week yet.

[D]

I love you, Jeff. I'm staying.

[C]

All right, well, I guess I'm gonna perform it to an empty room.

[D]

I wanna hear the song.

[C]

And I'm glad for it. Finally, people will respect what I'm doing with my brand new song of the week coming up right after this.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

What a fantastic, exhilarating, special moment that we've reached.

[D]

What is it?

[C]

It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. For some, it may have already happened. For others, it's gonna go on next weekend. You're gonna graduate. Amazing. You completed four full years.

[N]

Yeah.

[C]

Or maybe five if you struggled. No judgment over here, but bottom line, you got through the curriculum.

[A]

Congratulations.

[C]

You did it. And now you're finally ready to leave the past behind and take that airport moving sidewalk to your next destination. The future.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And you know, for my song, sure, I could have focused on how bleak the current job market is and how the unemployment rate is skyrocketing even as we speak. By the way, HR has requested to see me after I sing this song, so hopefully everything's a okay.

[A]

Is it with someone else in the room?

[C]

Just me is what they said. But sure, it's just to give me Compliments. But before we even go there, there's something even more worrisome that's looming.

[A]

What's that?

[C]

The large shadowy object that is standing in your way between now and your freedom.

[A]

What is it?

[C]

Attending the actual graduation ceremony.

[D]

Oh, man, that is a chore, dude.

[A]

And staying awake.

[D]

I know.

[C]

Get ready to forfeit hours of your life that you will never get back.

[D]

It's worse than your final is the

[C]

worst thing that's gonna happen in the last four years.

[A]

How could they make those things more dull?

[C]

Seriously, they should have like rock concerts.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Stand up comedians.

[A]

Or maybe your song will be the next thing that needs needs to come to the stage.

[C]

I would do it. Depending on how this meeting with HR goes, it might be my only choice. So that's why I thought it is important not necessarily to think about the students and the long term future for these graduates, but the short term future at their upcoming commencement ceremonies. And what a joy it is to sit there waiting and waiting and waiting forever to leave. That's why instead of singing the old school hit by the night knacks My Sharona throwing it way back.

[D]

I thought you were talking about the Knicks. Like the basketball to the last time

[C]

when the jog market was healthy. Instead of singing My Sharona, it's young Jeffries. My diploma. Will you get it?

[F]

Who knows?

[C]

Here we go. I'll point when I'm ready. Points. Good afternoon, faculty, parents, and the remaining members of the class of 2026. We ask that you please remain seated in your bleacher seats for the next five to possibly seven hours. Thank you.

[F]

Sitting in the stadium awaiting on Wondering when I'm gonna get my diploma Stewing in the summer sun we sweat a ton Paul polyester gown it feels like a sauna to the podium speakers come super boring they ramble on and on Bout to bomb when they mention aiy boom. Where's my diploma? Okay, I struck a chord. Take the freaking photo op, dad.

[C]

Hurry up.

[F]

Posing in the heat till I die Come on up Half an hour listening

[C]

to the Dean Butchering our names like

[F]

a crime scene drama Calling students up one by one as the president begs the crowd to not cheer a ton Cause it takes up more ti.

[C]

Woo.

[F]

How could the line move slower? Just give me my diploma.

[C]

Our next graduate is.

[G]

Is

[F]

J. Qu.

[C]

Lynn. J. Is it. Is it Jacqueline?

[D]

Oh. Oh.

[C]

Jackson. Jackson Smith.

[F]

No. Regretting my degree financially Stuck in debt till I'm 69 or older toss my cap and I'll be free temporarily Move back with my parents outside Pomona Never get a job make enough to afford to pay rent the only house that I got is in Monopoly Bye, bye, bye Stacked highway Baltic Avenue is mine, mine, mine Jeep kind Woo. Waiting for my diploma Long as a flight layover Whoa, what's that biting odor? My cap and gown aroma. My college time is over My party lives no more my 9 to 5's a horror resume lies I got a. My Diploma is an A.I.

[C]

wonderful, wonderful.

[N]

May I finish?

[D]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Oh, my God. Congratulations and condolences to the class of 2026, their family and friends that go

[B]

watch their graduation, everybody.

[D]

I do not remember that song.

[C]

It is fun.

[A]

And don't worry. Gonna be fine out there. There's gonna be a job for you.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm sure it's not gonna be as bleak as everybody predicts it's for sure gonna be.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And once you get that job, man, is it fun.

[C]

Oh, yeah. We are so happy.

[F]

Yeah, we're happy for you.

[C]

Congrats again to all the graduates.

[A]

Seriously.

[C]

Of class of 2026. You did it. Big accomplishment. That's your song of the week.

[D]

Good luck.

[C]

Find it up on our socials at brookeandjeffrey and go share it with anybody else who's graduating this year or in the near future.

[D]

Yeah, a kindergarten graduation would be hopping to that. That was awesome.

[C]

It's your song of the week.

[K]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[C]

Got a new player. Joining us today, a stay at home mom and longtime listener named Ginny, who listens with her daughter Chaos, which, fun fact, that was Brooke's second name choice for her daughter Nora. And Ginny, she absolutely regrets going with Nora. Just so you know, you came out with a better name.

[A]

Is it one of those things when you name your daughter Chaos? It's like when you name your daughter Grace. Like, the Grace would be really clumsy. The Chaos is gonna be opposite, calm, but together.

[C]

Is her name anyway. Anything like her personality?

[J]

She's relatively chill, but yeah, we call her the most wonderful chaos that can happen.

[F]

That's kind of cute.

[A]

Spell with a K or like the traditional chaos spelling?

[J]

It's with a K. Yeah. That's an important distinction around here.

[D]

She looks like a Kardashian.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So you and Chaos. Listen, do you think you have a shot at beating Brooke?

[J]

You know, it's so 50. 50.

[D]

It depends. All right, well, she sounds pretty bad. Balance.

[M]

Yeah.

[C]

A little chaotic, a little bit balanced. It just fits your life perfectly. We're gonna send Brooke out of the studio so we can get to it. You got 30 seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know when, you can say pass. But you have to beat Brooke outright if you want to win. Are you ready?

[N]

All right, let's do it.

[C]

Good luck. Your time starts now. Today is National Donut Day. What east coast city has the most donut shops per person? New York or Boston? Boston. In the 1820s, what famous American folk hero was originally real life Tennessee congressman? In which decade did the book series Where's Waldo debut? 60s, 70s, or 80s?

[J]

60s?

[C]

What branch of science studies fossils? Archaeology? How many. How many sides does a hexagon have?

[N]

10.

[C]

What popular online chatbot was created by the company OpenAI?

[J]

Pass. I just remembered the one. The answer to the last one. Hexagon does not have 10.

[C]

Sometimes it takes a few seconds before you realize what you said was wrong. Yeah, but that's. All right, Ginny. Brooke is back in the studio now, and it says on my screener that you like to homemake. And your latest experiment is you made some Mexican sweet bread?

[J]

Yes, Pandulse

[D]

me and my dad discovered at the Walmart. They sell it in the bakery.

[C]

Okay, well, you and your dad are lazy because Jenny actually makes it a

[J]

fan dollar on one of the them.

[A]

You what?

[J]

Sand dollar into the candy.

[C]

A real sand dollar?

[G]

You.

[C]

You bake it in there?

[J]

No, no, no, no. I cut the design of a sand dollar into the white candy.

[A]

Oh, that is an important classification.

[F]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

I was imagining a really hard bite.

[C]

Chaos is in every aspect of her life, even the culinary parts. Great work, J. Jenny. Now it is Brook's turn. Brooke, you ready?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Your time starts now. Today is National Donut Day. What east coast city has the most donut shops per person? New York or Boston?

[A]

Boston.

[C]

In the 1820s, what famous American folk hero was a real life Tennessee congressman?

[A]

Oh, my God. Tom Huckleberry Finn.

[C]

In which decade did the book series Where's Waldo debut? 60s, 70s or 80s?

[A]

80s?

[C]

What branch of science studies fossils?

[A]

Archaeology?

[C]

How many sides does a hexagon have?

[A]

6.

[C]

That's it. Answers are in. And it's time to go to the scoreboard to see how we both did with our own Jose.

[D]

Ginny, you got one correct today.

[J]

Well, okay.

[D]

You just accept.

[A]

She'll take it. But you had some good recommendations for us on your baking recipes. Yeah.

[D]

You did, Brooke.

[G]

Yep.

[D]

You got three.

[J]

Way to go, Brooke.

[C]

Oh, so graceful. And defeat. Well done, Jimmy. Let's go over the answers. It's National Donut Day. The east coast city with the most donut shops. Per person was obviously Boston. One donut shop for every 2,480 people. Not enough says Boston in the 1820s. 20s. The American folk hero who was a real life Tennessee congressman. That was Davy Crockett.

[A]

I should have known that.

[C]

The Where's Waldo? Book series initially debuted in the 1980s, actually in the United Kingdom before it came over here. Waldo, actually. Yeah, that's pretty UK sounding

[A]

it.

[C]

The branch of science that studies fossils would be paleontology.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Archaeology, I think, also refers to, like, building buildings and humans. And a hexagon has six sides. The popular online chatbot created by OpenAI is called Chat GPT.

[J]

I almost said that.

[C]

Should have gone with your instincts, Jenny. Now, unfortunately, it wasn't enough to beat Brooke, but just for playing, you're getting a pair of tickets to see comedian David Spade perform at Snoqualmie Casino, Saturday, August 15th.

[J]

Cool.

[D]

I have a feeling you're gonna laugh a lot.

[A]

Okay. How is Chaos gonna take your defeat?

[J]

I think she'll just be more excited to hear her name on the radio. I got on here, and I do want to mention that she loves Alexis. She thinks she is so funny.

[A]

Alexis. Her name could be Chaos for sure.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, come back and play again soon, Jenny. We had a great time. We're gonna do Winbrook's Bucks same time on Monday.

[K]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.