FULL SHOW: Dating App Hack Date, Brooke vs Christmas Dads + Jeff’s Back Alley Boat (12/17/25)

Summary

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update — "Dating App Hack Date, Brooke vs Christmas Dads + Jeff’s Back Alley Boat" (12/17/25)

Episode Overview

This lively episode of Brooke and Jeffrey delivers the hilarious hijinks and real-life drama the show is known for! Featuring a packed schedule, the gang covers everything from unusual pet names and Christmas gripes to a revealing "Second Date Update" about dating app confusion. Listeners are also treated to a high-stakes "Win Brooke’s Bucks" quiz and the holiday edition of "Busted." Through playful banter and listener engagement, the episode explores holiday frustrations, awkward dating moments, and offbeat trends, all in the good-natured, irreverent tone that's made the show a hit.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Holiday Feedback, Trending Pet Names & Lost-and-Found Trivia

(00:00 – 10:59)

• Listener Shoutouts: The show kicks off with international fan mail—Brooke notes people learning English by listening. Jeff is praised for speaking “with the perfect cadence for learning English.” (00:54, B: “So many people have told me Jeff's voice is the perfect cadence for learning English.”)

• Pet Name Trends: The gang cracks up over Rover.com’s new dog/cat names: food-inspired ones like "Provolone," "Casserole," and "Sardine" are skyrocketing, as are pun names like "Leonardo DiCapri-Meow." (02:45, D: “Pun names for cats like Ear Muffs, Minnie meows, and Leonardo DiCapri Meow are also really big.”)

• Lost & Found at Airports (Plenty of 20 Game): They quiz each other on the most commonly misplaced items at airports, excluding the usual suspects (phones, wallets). Items like keys, sunglasses, toys, makeup, scarves, and even musical instruments make the list. Brooke recalls her dad losing his wedding ring. (05:51, A: “I think. Cause I just brought it up with the dad ring. How about jewelry?”)

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2. What's on Your Mind? — Gripes, Observations, and Holiday Anxieties

(11:00 – 18:06)

• Brooke vs. "Christmas Dads": Brooke vents about dads doing "1% of the heavy lifting" at Christmas, earning laughs and gentle ribbing from the guys. (11:31, A: “Dads… Moms are doing 99, 9% of the heavy lifting for all of the holidays. There would be no magic if it was up to the men.”)

  • Quote: (12:22, A: “People would wake up on Christmas morning and there would be nothing there. You’d be lucky if there was a tree in the living room and that tree would not be decorated.”)

• Jose’s Spa Experience: Jose describes overhearing women at a spa debating whether they need their husbands' consent to "sage" or "Reiki" them while sleeping, sparking jokes about "expelling demons at night." (13:39, C: “She goes, sometimes I sage my husband in his sleep.”).

• Alexis’s Italian Restaurant Dread: Alexis awkwardly endures an impromptu serenade by roving musicians at a restaurant, unsure whether to eat, clap, or tip, providing a relatable moment of social discomfort. (15:12, B: “I was like, no, actually, nothing. Hoping they’d leave. Nope. Straight into a Christmas song.”)

• Jeff’s Whale-less Hawaii Vacation: Jeff’s excitement for a Maui vacation is dimmed by learning he’s going before whale season—so he finds a sketchy, off-the-books “whale tour” requiring double life jackets and a no-phones rule. The rest of the crew worries about his safety. (17:05, D: “He said there can’t be a record of the trip.”)

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3. Busted! — Holiday Cheating Stories

(20:28 – 25:59)

• Holiday Edition: Listeners call in to share "busted" stories of catching cheating partners during the holidays:
  • Rachel finds labeled gifts for "Tinder Sarah" and "Tinder Tina" while snooping for her present. She later gives her boyfriend a suitcase of his own stuff as a Christmas “gift.” (21:57, I: “One for Tinder Sarah and the other for Tinder Tina.”)
  • Michael learns from a brutally honest four-year-old that his girlfriend has another, buffer boyfriend. (23:16, F: “She then tells me, no, it was Heidi. And the other guy who visits and kisses Heidi.”)
  • Maggie’s boyfriend disappears with a flirty mall elf during their couple’s photo with Santa. (24:44, I: “I ran around to the window. And let me just say, my boyfriend definitely made the naughty list.”)

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4. Prank Time — Phone Tap: “How's My Driving?” Gets Flirty

(26:03 – 31:39)

• Brooke calls a “How’s My Driving” hotline, claiming to follow a handsome truck driver, asking for his info and even revealing she’s planted an AirTag and left her signed bra in his cab. The rep grows more disturbed as Brooke gets weirder ("Rosebud, over and out..."). It’s revealed as a prank for the rep’s work anniversary.

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5. SECOND DATE UPDATE: “Dating App Hack Date”

(32:07 – 48:54)

• Dustin’s Dating App Ultimatum: Dustin details his strategy—get off the app and onto an in-person date fast ("if I don't meet up with them right away, it fizzles out”—[33:46, F]).
• The Date: He meets "Jessica" for pizza, notices she looks different than her sunglasses-heavy profile, and is confused when she seems evasive about Pilates (allegedly in her profile).
• The Mismatch Revealed: Jessica, on the call, admits she and Dustin actually matched 18 months ago and never went out, so she’s confused when he brought up Pilates. She deduces Dustin mixed her up with another “Jessica from Bumble” and texted the wrong one!
  • Classic Quote: (43:44, G: “I was kind of embarrassed, but, like, we were really enjoying ourselves.”)
  • They both agree they had a lot of fun—despite the mix-up—and after some mutual good-natured teasing, agree to a real second date. (47:05, G: “I'll go out again.”)

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6. Trending: Naked Christmas Trees & Laser Stories

(48:56 – 59:28)

• Naked Tree Trend: Celebrities like Khloe Kardashian are flaunting undecorated trees. Team jokes it's "for beige moms" and minimizes a major holiday tradition. (50:06, D: “They show the reason why everybody, everybody's getting on board is because it's more of a less is more celebration.”)

• Laser Stories: Highlights

  • “Tinder for Cows”—Bailey’s Irish Cream farm breeds cows via dating app profiles.
  • Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year: “Slop” (refers to AI-generated junk).
  • Denny’s releases “Sticky Kicks”—sneakers filled with real syrup.
  • Grandpas admit they're the hardest to shop for and the worst at gift-wrapping. (57:47, D: “The people most likely to admit they're very hard to shop for are men over the age of 65. Wow.”)

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7. Win Brooke's Bucks: Holiday Edition

(59:40 – 65:24)

• Contestant Ron: Hopes to win as his “Christmas present”—shares his family's unusual traditions (stockings on Christmas morning, full pies for each family member).
• Quiz Highlights:
  • The Simpsons airs on Fox.
  • Rubik’s Cube = 6 colors.
  • Tiramisu = Italy.
  • Frozen’s Princess Anna = Kristen Bell.
  • "Imploding" is what you call an object collapsing in on itself (with Ron’s unusually sensual delivery noted by the crew).
• Brooke wins the quiz, but everyone celebrates Ron’s positive attitude and holiday spirit.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Christmas Dads:
  “People would wake up on Christmas morning and there would be nothing there. You’d be lucky if there was a tree in the living room and that tree would not be decorated.”
  — Brooke (12:22)

• On Sketchy Whale Watching:
  “He said there can’t be a record of the trip… Also, I’m not allowed to bring a phone with me.”
  — Jeffrey (17:05)

• On Multiple Jessicas:
  “I have all these different Jessica Bumbles in my phone.”
  — Dustin (44:52)

• On Spa "Spirituality":
  “Sometimes I sage my husband in his sleep.”
  — Jose retelling spa eavesdrop (13:54)

• On Dating App Realization:
  “I'll go out again.”
  — Jessica (47:08), after learning they had “the wrong Jessica date.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Pet Name Trends & Lost-and-Found Game: 01:24 – 09:09
• What’s On Your Mind: 11:22 – 18:06
• Busted! Holiday Cheaters: 20:28 – 25:59
• Phone Tap (Flirty “How’s My Driving”): 26:03 – 31:39
• Second Date Update: 32:07 – 48:54
• Laser Stories: 51:22 – 59:28
• Win Brooke’s Bucks (Holiday): 59:40 – 65:24

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Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, informal, and loaded with playful roasting, holiday sarcasm, and relatable moments. The team brings listeners into their ongoing inside jokes, welcomes calls and texts from fans, and never misses an opportunity to satirize both themselves and pop culture. Through the Second Date Update segment, awkwardness gives way to unexpected chemistry, a theme echoed throughout this festive but mischievous holiday special.

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In short: This episode delivers a hilarious, feel-good mix of relatable rants, honest dating misadventures, holiday mayhem, and zany news—all wrapped up in the irreverent, quick-witted banter that defines Brooke & Jeffrey.

Transcript

[A]

It's the Brooke and Jeffrey podcast. And we've got a brand new show for you, including a what's on youn Mind? Coming up. And no, I'm not going to. I'm not going to apologize to what I said about the Christmas dads. I'm just not.

[B]

I think at least my mom would agree with you. Yes, don't worry.

[A]

Yes, exactly. That's coming up. And of course, the number three phone tap of the year. Yeah, I cannot believe we're already here. But first, your comments.

[B]

Yeah, this one said, hello, guys, I'm teacher Juan from Brazil. And I can't thank you enough for all the joy you guys bring to my days. I even use some episodes in class with my students and of course, introduce them to the greatest show in radio today at the same time.

[A]

Oh, that's so cool.

[B]

That's so cool.

[A]

I was just talking to my son yesterday. He's in third grade and he was like, mom, did you know that some people learn Italian by watching tv? I go, fun fact. Some people learn English by listening to this show. Yeah, that's true.

[C]

I've talked to many people.

[B]

So many people have told me Jeff's voice is the perfect cadence for learning English. They can listen to Jeff's voice and it's like, perfect.

[A]

Cause it's slow and he enunciates, I guess, like a rich boy from la.

[B]

Maybe that's it.

[C]

Yeah, I'm opposite. I've met people that were Latino that were like, we heard that there was a Jose, so we thought, oh, there's gonna be someone speaking Spanish at some point.

[B]

And I never do no Spanish.

[A]

Maybe next year, Jose.

[C]

Yeah, keep listening.

[A]

Yeah, you never know. You never know. All right, your new show starts right now.

[D]

It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. And last week on the show, we covered the hot new baby name naming trend.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Choosing to name your child a popular dog name like Blue or Buddy or Banjo. In a similar vein, Rover.com just released their annual list of the most popular dog and cat names of the year.

[B]

Hey, this is my dog walk off of.

[A]

Is it? That are perfect for babies or.

[D]

That's what I'm saying.

[C]

It's kind of the new baby list.

[D]

Yeah, they're just the most popular dog and cat names. And just like last year, everyone's still naming their dogs Charlie, Max, Luna, and Bella. And Bella Luna. Milo, Oliver and Lily.

[C]

I like Oliver.

[A]

That's a cute little Oliver.

[C]

Needs a bow tie.

[A]

I'm going to tell you, there are so many Olivers in Elementary school right now.

[D]

Oh, really? Yeah. No surprise there. But the more interesting part of the report are the unique names that people are choosing for their pets now. Like, lately, we're seeing a huge spike in names inspired by foods and celebrities. Ooh.

[C]

Oh, cool.

[D]

I love that.

[A]

Like a little cat named Marshmallow.

[B]

Oh, I dog walk popcorn.

[D]

For cats. The name Provolone is up 509% this year.

[C]

Like a little white kitty.

[A]

And it's little sister Mozzarella.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I call her Mottz for sure.

[D]

Along with Casserole, Burrito, dumpling.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[D]

Like the wine Taylor Swift and Harry Styles.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Ale, you're not gonna like this. But pun names for cats like Ear Muffs, Minnie meows, and Leonardo DiCapri Meow are also really big.

[A]

I feel bad for those cats. Yeah, decaprio is where you go with that one.

[D]

For dogs, the name calzone is up 211. Other trending names are Poutine, pastrami, cauliflower, sardine, Prosecco, Kelsey. Like Travis or Jason. Oh, I could see Plankton and sandy cheeks from SpongeBob.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Sandy Cheeks.

[C]

Only if you have, like, a grumpy cat.

[B]

Well, it's like once you have one named it, you got to go with a theme. For all you know, you got to fill out the whole cast.

[D]

All my dogs in my family growing up have all been food names. I've had burger and bagel personally. And then when I was a kid, we had Kahlua, Bosco, Rollo, Bailey, and Goldschlager.

[A]

See, where I come from, we name kids after alcohol now.

[D]

Digital Jake I know has a dog named. I want to say Doritos Locos. Taco.

[E]

My given name. Yeah, I go by Jake on the.

[D]

Radio because he looks like the Taco Bell dog.

[E]

Yeah, it's a chihuahua.

[C]

He's cute.

[D]

What's his name?

[E]

Yeah, I'm not gonna share it.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I can't believe you don't know the disrespect.

[D]

I'm going with Doritos Locos dog. Yeah, let's go with that. Let's get into the trivia deal.

[C]

So they're listening right now.

[D]

Hi.

[E]

Let's go with this. Today is Lost and Found Day. It's the official celebration of all the stuff you swore you'd never lose, but totally did anyway. One place where people always seem to lose and forget their most precious belongings at the worst time, it's while going through an airport.

[D]

Oh, seriously?

[C]

Because you're always taking stuff out.

[A]

Yeah, don't bring that up in my family. My dad threw away his wedding ring on accident.

[E]

Oh, that's where I come in.

[D]

At least he says it's on accident.

[E]

So today we'll be doing a special misplaced in the airspace edition of.

[D]

Wow.

[E]

Plenty of 20. Now, I have a list of the top 20 items that get brought to the lost and found at airports around the country. But I'm taking the top three objects off the list. That's number one, phones. Number two, laptops and tablets. Yeah, and number three, wallets and IDs. These are all too obvious. And everything after that in the game is fair game. Okay, so we'll start with the woman who lost her lunch at the airport cocktail lounge after too many espresso martinis. That's Alexis. Alexis, I have four through 20 on the board. Things most brought to lost and founds at airport.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna go because you guys remember our producer made a big deal about it when he left his water bottle at the airport. He was so upset. Remember he was very upset about that?

[D]

He's using mine now.

[C]

It was a nice one.

[A]

He took yours?

[D]

He literally stole mine.

[B]

Oh, I'm gonna go. Water bottle.

[E]

Jake, water bottle. Number 14 on the list. I'm gonna take water bottles and mugs.

[A]

Jeffrey, we really need to work on your boundaries. Yeah, I don't drink water anyway, so it's fine. Don't give it to him. And by the way, stop borrowing my headphones. That's how a boundary works.

[D]

Okay, Brooke, we're over to you.

[A]

Okay, I think. Cause I just brought it up with the dad ring. How about jewelry?

[E]

Ooh, yeah, smart Jewelry is number 13 on my list. Rings, necklaces, and watches that slip off unnoticed. Yeah, Jose, we're over to you now.

[C]

The first one I want to say, but they always go back for it. Obviously.

[D]

But your keys.

[A]

Oh, that's a good one.

[E]

Your keys is number four on the list. Jose, that's the highest answer available.

[C]

Oh, but I don't get a silver save.

[D]

No, you don't.

[E]

Car keys, house keys, keychains of stuff goes missing. Jeffrey, it's your turn.

[D]

You guys know that I love a good wanding at the airport, so it can be a little bit distracting. And, yeah, make me leave some stuff behind.

[C]

Metal in his pants.

[E]

Why do you ask for the extra search?

[D]

Yeah, I enjoyed the experience. So, thing is, normally I'm leaving a phone number behind for the tsa, but since this probably has to be an object, I'm gonna go with business card.

[E]

Jake, business card. Did not make my list.

[A]

Do you have business cards?

[F]

I do.

[D]

For our business. For the Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning show.

[C]

You can just tell people to go to our website.

[B]

This is why less people are gonna listen.

[A]

Don't make us look that lame, please.

[E]

Jeffrey's out, thankfully. We're over to Alexa's.

[C]

I want to exchange business cards.

[A]

I'm gonna go. Okay.

[B]

I know we said no phones or laptops. What about chargers?

[E]

Like laptop phone charger chargers? Number 16 Chargers and power banks. I'm gonna take off there.

[C]

Brooke, we're over to you.

[A]

One thing that causes panic if we lose it is any sort of special toy that my kids have. So give me toys.

[E]

Toys. Number 19 on my list. Teddy bears, action figures. Just taking toys in general off the board. Jose, you got anything for me?

[C]

I'm gonna take a risk here, and I'm gonna say there was one time I was walking to the airport and some guy got five giant bottles of alcohol confiscated. So I'm gonna say alcohol. Like if somebody forgets, even if you have little mini bottles that you bring on, you may have forgotten them.

[E]

Alcohol did not make my. Listen, if you find alcohol, you drink it.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Alexis, it's down to you and Brooke. Next wrong answer loses.

[A]

I got one in my head that is going to just take. Really?

[E]

Brooke, it's Alexis's turn.

[B]

You're threatening me?

[A]

Bring it.

[B]

What about just clothes? Like your jacket?

[D]

You lost your pants?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay, jacket, number nine on the list. You're taking coats and jackets off the list?

[A]

Don't even throw it to me. Just show me sunglasses.

[E]

Sunglasses, number five on the list. Eyeglasses and sunglasses right below keys. Alexis. Very few left.

[B]

You know, I show up to the airport looking real ugly, and I bring makeup along to put on. What if you leave behind some makeup?

[D]

Makeup bag.

[E]

Number 17 on the list. We are cooking, Brooke.

[A]

Okay, show me toothbrush.

[E]

Toothbrush did not make the list. That means Alexis has won today's edition of plenty of 20.

[A]

That was exciting. Alexa.

[B]

Here's some things you guys needed back and forth.

[G]

4.

[E]

Oh, yeah, the things you guys missed on the list. Number eight was scarves. 10. Travel neck pillow.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Books was 11. Strollers was 12. Umbrellas was 15. Shoes was 18.

[C]

Like, you take them off, get them.

[E]

In the thing, or you switch shoes at security.

[D]

Wear slippers. Yeah.

[E]

Number 20. Musical instruments.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So, Alexis, you get to choose who gets shocked while singing All I Want for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey.

[B]

For your business card business.

[D]

I feel attacked for supporting the show, but that's ok. I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. That is your shot collar. Question of the day. We got your phone tab coming up in just a few minutes.

[A]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[D]

Question, what does your guys inner voice sound like?

[C]

Sounds like me.

[A]

Sounds like my normal voice.

[D]

Like your normal voice?

[A]

Yeah. But it would be cool if it had an accent or something.

[B]

Oh, that'd be nice.

[A]

Yeah. What if my norm, my inner voice was hot? Yeah, like Australian man or something.

[D]

That'd be nice. Weird though. Mine sounds like this.

[A]

What?

[C]

A dolphin?

[D]

Yeah. My inner voice is Flipper, the TV dolphin.

[A]

I'm glad that's a 1950s reference that you just made.

[D]

1970S, is it? Yeah. I don't know why. Every single thought I have. I am kind of hungry now that I think about it. But coming up, we're going to do a full dive into all of our inner thoughts. Oh. Not sure if anybody else has a cool celebrity voice inside like mine, but we're going to find out during what's on your mind?

[C]

Mine's a squirrel.

[A]

That was a weird analogy. The dolphin.

[D]

Okay, thanks for shaming my inner voice. Yeah, we'll shame each other more. Okay, I have some bad thoughts happening. They're going to come out right now. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And hot tip, if you ever can't think of a word, just say I forget the English word for it. That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.

[A]

I mean, I don't know the word in any other language either but.

[D]

Exactly. They don't know that. And on this segment we don't pretend to be smart or even mildly can't think of the English word for it. Not dumb is what I'm trying to say. We just go around the room for what's on your mind. Giving you a tiny window into our horrifying personal lives. Starting with Brooke. Brooke, what's on your mind?

[A]

Well, I have found someone worse than the Grinch this holiday season.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

Worse.

[D]

Who?

[A]

Men.

[D]

Oh, men in general.

[A]

Specifically dads. Okay, I am going to tell you right now, it's not just me. It's not just me. I have had group texts with my girlfriends. I've chatted with moms on the playground. Moms are doing 99, 9% of the heavy lifting for all of the holidays. There would be no magic. There would be no magic if there was up to the men.

[D]

I could see that I could see what you're saying.

[A]

I mean, the 1% of work they do is when we're finally on top of a ladder, putting the lights up, and we just physically can't reach.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is literally the only time they.

[B]

Said they're coming because they're worried about the ladder.

[D]

Exactly. It's a little bit crooked, actually. If you can go back up and do it again.

[A]

What happened if men were in charge, People would wake up on Christmas morning and there would be nothing there. You'd be lucky if there was a tree in the living room and that tree would not be decorated.

[D]

You know, Brooke, you could always switch over to Hanukkah. Cause you don't have to do anything for that holiday.

[A]

I bet there's still a woman that is doing something for Hanukkah, and the man isn't showing up. Yeah.

[C]

Who's making all the good food?

[A]

Yes, exactly. Who's got the menorah? Definitely a woman.

[D]

Brooke, you already sound like an angry Jewish mother.

[C]

Perfect.

[D]

Come to our side. You'll love it.

[C]

I made matzo ball soup.

[D]

Exactly. Happy Hanukkah, everybody. Jose, what's been on your mind?

[C]

Well, my usual massage place has canceled on me three out of the last four months. But this weekend, I decided I really do want a massage. So I treated myself and I booked a fancy spa.

[E]

New place.

[C]

Place, New place. This is a real, like, fancy, fancy place.

[E]

Okay?

[C]

And there's a waiting room, and I go in, and there's like, four other women all drinking wine in their robes. So I go in the corner and I overhear one of the girls being like, I really am thinking about doing Reiki on my husband, but I don't think he'll do it.

[D]

Reiki, Reiki.

[A]

Is it Reiki?

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

I'm sorry, what is Reiki? I don't know what it is. I don't know.

[C]

Jeff, do you know it brings the.

[D]

Magic of the holidays out of the.

[C]

Ah.

[B]

Yeah, it's some type of spiritual thing.

[D]

The way they describe it, you gotta Reiki your husband into Christmas.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's a spiritual thing, right? So she's like, well, maybe I can do it in his sleep, but I need his consent. And her friend goes, girl, you don't need his permission. Like, he's your husband. She goes, if you're looking out for his energy, you're looking out for his chakras.

[A]

Just do it in his sleep. Oh, my God.

[C]

She goes, sometimes I sage my husband in his sleep.

[A]

Sage him.

[C]

I couldn't believe It.

[A]

Isn't that what you do to a haunted house?

[D]

That's what I thought.

[C]

I was like, what is happening? So all the girls laugh.

[A]

Remember?

[C]

They're all drinking wine. They're like, this is rich people. And whole time I'm like, I need to help these ladies husbands. Like, I need to get a hold of them.

[D]

They're being tricked.

[C]

Brooke, you don't seem upset.

[A]

Well, I don't. You're not going to find them in the mall shopping for Christmas presents.

[E]

Stick up for him, Jose.

[C]

Well, if there are some husbands out there, you're waking up feeling weird or hypnotized. It was your wife.

[B]

Don't focus on bad. Maybe they're wake up feeling amazing.

[D]

I know, because she just expelled your demons in the middle of the night. Come on, Alexis, what's been on your mind?

[B]

So I went to an Italian restaurant last night I haven't been to before. And it was all cute inside. I'm sitting down. And then that's when I realized there's a person going around playing guitar at the tables. And then another with an accordion.

[D]

That's my last. That's the authentic Italian experience.

[B]

See, I wasn't as excited as you are. I was like, please do not come to my table.

[H]

Why?

[B]

Because what are you supposed to do? Like, you're supposed to clap and listen. That's what I was afraid. So I'm like, please don't. Please, no. And then obviously they eventually come over.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And they whisper my ear. They're like, are you celebrating anything? I'm like, no. They're like, are you sure you're not celebrating a birthday? I was like, no. They're like, no event.

[D]

Nobody comes here unless it's for a great occasion.

[A]

Literally.

[C]

You must have one.

[B]

I was like, no, actually, nothing. Hoping they'd leave.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

Straight into a Christmas song.

[C]

Although they'd be like, we got nothing to celebrate. Celebrate over here.

[B]

No, I don't know what you do exactly. I'm like, can I eat while they're singing? Can I just stare at them? And then I was afraid I had to give him money, but I didn't know.

[D]

They do enjoy it when you stick a full French loaf into your mouth while they sing. That's what I do.

[B]

I'll have to try that next time. But yeah, it was really uncomfortable in the longest three minute Christmas song of my life. And great food will not return.

[A]

Okay. All right, Jeffrey, what's on your mind?

[D]

Well, I'm really looking forward to going on vacation during Christmas. And I'm Going to Hawaii. Very excited. But I gotta say, I am already a little bit unhappy about the trip.

[A]

What?

[D]

Before I've even gone. It's because I want to see whales.

[A]

Okay. I don't think. Is it whale season?

[D]

It turns out whale season doesn't start until January.

[C]

The winter. Yeah.

[D]

So I'm really bummed feeling like I'm going there and I'm not gonna. Whales.

[A]

Well, maybe there'll be an old whale that shows up really early, like my parents do to the airport.

[D]

But I want to see like sprightly young whales jumping up out of the water and doing stuff. So I did some research and I found this guy who does kind of off market tourism.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

I'm into this. What do you got? If you're getting in the back of a pickup truck, you're doing it, right?

[D]

Yeah. I don't know about the pickup truck situation, but he said for a little bit extra cash, he'll offer to take me farther out into the ocean where the whales are, like really deep out.

[C]

That's sketchy, bro.

[D]

I talked to him on the phone about it and I was like going over some of the details. He has a rule where you have to wear double life jackets.

[A]

Okay. Oh, double. That's not a good side.

[D]

I don't know why, like, why he does the rules, but he says things happen sometimes. But that's why you double jack it, to be extra cautious.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Also, I'm not allowed to bring a phone with me. Me.

[C]

Now that's not good.

[D]

He said there can't be a record of the trip.

[B]

Oh, good.

[D]

Well, because he's like not licensed or whatever it is, like he could get in trouble. So I don't want. I don't want that to happen. And the last thing we talked about though, I was like, but we're definitely gonna see whales, right? And then he laughed. He was like, of course. Yeah. So I.

[C]

You may see him at the bottom of the ocean.

[D]

Well, if I get even closer, that'd be even better. I'd be more.

[A]

You can't get to the bottom of the ocean with double life jackets.

[D]

That's true. One's gotta go. I don't know. I just have to get on that boat and see how it all works. But I am very excited to get deeper out into the ocean with this guy.

[B]

Beautiful experience.

[D]

Yes. That's what's on our minds. You can text into 78592 and tell us what's been on yours. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. It's Brooke And Jeffrey in the morning. Have we checked the text board yet?

[A]

Yes, I've been totally writing people back all morning. It's awesome. I love when people text in.

[D]

Oh, that explains why people stopped writing. Okay, Jeff, here's a couple. This text says laser stories is the best. I always do the accent when you have the dumb guy do it on the radio.

[A]

The dumb guy is producer boy.

[D]

Yeah. Excuse that is. That is our dumb producer, Boyd. Best British accent since Ron Weasley went through puberty. So watch your tone. Another text said, y' all sparkle my morning so hard. I usually don't stop smiling till I'm out at night. Love you much.

[A]

What happens at night? It makes you frown.

[C]

That's when the prowling starts.

[D]

A picture of the joker with like a perma smile laughing all day. Though. Another text says, this one is from Jersey. Where can I listen to your show?

[A]

Oh, cool.

[D]

That's awesome. If you do want to listen, we're available on all the podcast platforms. Apple, Spotify, and now on the dark web too. Just search at Brooke and Jeffrey and you can listen there.

[A]

Yeah, or you can find the closest radio city next to you and go to how to listen on the Brooke and Jeffrey website.

[D]

Oh, I thought you meant drive over to your local closest city and listen.

[C]

Over the radio, but yeah, I mean.

[A]

I guess they said it backwards. Yeah, you know what I meant, right? Go to brookeandjeffrey.com howtolisten There you go. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[D]

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, my whole family was sleeping, except for my spouse.

[A]

What?

[D]

The place smelled of sweat and gingerbread baking. But hark from the other room. Why is the Christmas tree shaking?

[A]

What's happening?

[D]

So down the stairs fast. I ran in a flutter and there found my wife hooking up with my mother.

[A]

Please tell me this is a weird dream.

[D]

I let out a scream to show I'm disgusted and shared what I saw on a holiday edition of Busted. Unfaithful women and scandalous men telling their cheating stories coming up at 7:10.

[A]

Oh, good ending.

[D]

Sneaky husbands, two timing wives, bad boyfriends.

[A]

And even worse girlfriends.

[D]

They thought they could get away with it, but now they're about to get busted. It's the radio segment that does not blame you for bringing mistletoe to your kid's parent teacher conference. Wait, we get it. Because we're doing a special holiday edition of Busted, where our listeners are going to share some stories about how they caught their exes rocking around somebody else's Christmas tree During the holidays, we've got our listeners ready to unburden themselves, share some of their holiday heartbreaks. We're going to start with Rachel. Tell us how you busted your significant other.

[I]

Okay, so one year my boyfriend decided he was gonna try to hide all of his gifts from me so I wouldn't find them.

[A]

Wait, only one year he did that? The rest of the years he just left him out.

[I]

Well, I'm a notorious snooper.

[A]

One of those people, you know, you.

[I]

Save the boxes, you find out what's in them, and I just, I can't help myself.

[A]

Okay, so he worked extra hard to ensure a surprise for you?

[I]

I wouldn't say extra hard.

[E]

He worked.

[D]

Why?

[I]

Yeah, so not only was he dumb enough to hide it just like in his closet on the floor the first place you look.

[D]

Oh, is that a bad hiding spot?

[C]

Yeah, Jeff, the closet is over.

[D]

All right, I gotta go change some stuff.

[I]

It was like he wanted me to find it and like he wanted me to find the two other gifts that were wrapped and labeled with post its right next to it. One for Tinder Sarah and the other for Tinder Tina.

[A]

And he couldn't just write, write Sarah and Tina.

[C]

We'Re dudes. We have to like, okay, which one's which?

[A]

He's like, this is what I have her saved in as my. In my phones.

[D]

Oh, my God, that's so horrible to find that. What did you do?

[I]

Honestly, I didn't say anything.

[D]

What?

[I]

I just kind of sat on it and waited until we did our gift exchange. And then I brought his big, big gift. It was a giant box inside with.

[G]

A suitcase filled with all of his clothes.

[C]

That's a good present.

[D]

Oh, you guys are going on a vacation together. That's so fun.

[A]

I bet he was so confused.

[I]

It was very much a Merry Christmas. Leave my life forever. Thank you. Goodbye.

[D]

Oh, still not the worst Christmas I've ever had.

[A]

So all the family around me.

[D]

Yeah, let's go to Michael. Tell us how you busted your significant other.

[F]

So my girlfriend is a nanny to a little four year old girl, right? So one day I stopped by after work to go see her and they were outside making snowmen. They even put clothes on both the snowmen, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

And it looked like a guy and girl snowman holding hands.

[A]

Oh, that's sweet.

[F]

So it's adorable.

[D]

Yeah, sure.

[F]

So I asked the little girl if that was supposed to be me and my girlfriend. Heidi.

[G]

Yeah, she.

[F]

She then tells me, no, it was Heidi. And the other guy who visits and kisses Heidi.

[A]

Oh, These kids are brutally honest.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Speaking of brutal honesty, then she points to the abs she drew on the snowman and says, yeah, he has these and you don't.

[D]

Abs. Ouch.

[A]

Why is a 4 year old seeing this guy with a shirt on?

[C]

That guy's got an ice tray on his for a six pack already.

[A]

Is a little quiet much. The nanny's bringing the boyfriend around, but two boyfriends.

[D]

Maybe there's a swimming pool in the backyard or something like that. Let's just say that's what that is.

[A]

I hope for that.

[D]

All right, we got time for one more. Let's go to Maggie. Maggie, tell us how you busted your significant other.

[I]

Okay, so my boyfriend and I thought it'd be fun to take pictures of them all with Santa. So we go down there and we get in line, and the whole time we're in line, one of the female elf assistants is flirting with him, like, big time.

[G]

Just, like, obviously.

[I]

And I'm getting annoyed, but, you know, I was just trying to ignore it because we're doing something fun, right?

[C]

And you're gonna be gone so quick.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, and if you're flirting, can you at least, like, let us cut to the front?

[G]

Yeah.

[I]

And so when the picture is done, I go to pay, and when I turn around, my boyfriend's gone. I can't find him anywhere.

[D]

And.

[I]

Or the elf. I know. I look over the shack, which is, like, called Santa's workshop, and I see two other, like, female elf assistants kind of smirking. Me guarding the door.

[A]

Oh, no.

[I]

So I ran.

[A]

That's bold.

[I]

I know. I ran around to the window. And let me just say, my boyfriend definitely made the naughty list. Yeah.

[A]

Keep the pictures.

[I]

Well, yeah, they wouldn't refund me for the picture.

[C]

No.

[D]

They charged you on top of that?

[A]

Yes, yes.

[I]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[G]

I had it.

[I]

And then I burn it.

[F]

So there we go.

[A]

That is a lot.

[D]

Just on a side note, which Santa did you go visit? Which mall was that one at? We need to know.

[I]

I'm. I'm not going to out you on that one.

[D]

Darn. It's not Santa.

[I]

Santa's not. It's not Santa's fault. It was his elf. So, yeah, they're making more than just toys this Christmas, apparently.

[D]

Oh, God. Well, thank you for sharing that with us. Text. In 78592, hit up our text board. If you have a funny story about how you caught one of your ex's cheating, you could be on the next normal edition of Busted. That was your holiday version. We got your phone Tap.

[A]

Coming up next, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[D]

We're getting closer and closer to the top phone tap of the year. As we continue our countdown. We're at number three today.

[B]

This is huge.

[D]

It's been in this one, Brooke calls a guy whose job is to answer those 1-800-how-S my driving calls, you know, from trucks that are out on the road, people actually call those. And he's definitely gotten some bizarre and strange feedback before. Guaranteed he he's never had one like this. That's why it's your number three phone tab of the year. Right now it's brooke and Jeffrey's 10 phone taps of Christmas. Number three.

[H]

Transport services. This is Will. How can I help you?

[A]

Hi. Hi. I saw this on the back of a truck. It says how's my driving? And there's like a phone number.

[H]

Yeah, this is the place to call. Do you have a truck ID number that you're calling about?

[A]

Oh, yeah, I wouldn't miss it.

[H]

Okay, can you tell me. I'll take that down real quick.

[A]

XB dash six seven nine. I'm actually following it right now.

[H]

Okay, you got it. Did you have a complaint or a comment you would like to log or ask me about?

[A]

Actually, I have a compliment.

[H]

Okay, so he's driving.

[A]

Well then I just think he is rather good looking.

[H]

Oh, okay. Well, this isn't like a way to like connect you with the driver. It's more so we can monitor our driver.

[A]

I can't really hear you right now, but I just have a quick question because I'm assuming he's single.

[H]

I don't know why you would assume that.

[A]

I drove next to him. I drove next to him and I did that horn pole thing, you know, and there was no ring on that hand. So my question.

[H]

Well, that's interesting. I don't know why you're telling me all this.

[D]

Cause.

[A]

Wait, listen, I need his name.

[H]

Oh, unfortunately, I'm not able to disclose that information to callers.

[A]

I mean, you. You have a CB radio. Can you just like deliver a message from me then?

[H]

No, that would actually be a breach in our contract with our drivers.

[A]

Rosebud, over and out. There's a lady following you who thinks you are sexy, right? She is sexy too.

[H]

Yeah. I will need to end this call unless there's anything that I need to address about their driving.

[D]

You know what?

[A]

You know what? Can you just leave him a message from me?

[H]

Hmm.

[A]

It's really quick. I just need you to tell him when he stopped to get gas at exit 39. I was just joking about putting an air tag on his truck.

[H]

Sam, come on, please.

[D]

No, okay?

[A]

I wasn't joking.

[F]

He did do that.

[H]

Okay?

[A]

It didn't come off as flirty as I wanted it to. I don't know, maybe it sounded like threatening.

[H]

I'll tell you what. I'm gonna take your name down.

[B]

Wait, are you hitting on me?

[H]

Quite the opposite, ma'.

[F]

Am.

[H]

I'm actually concerned about you and the safety of our driver.

[A]

Now, you can just tell him it's the hottie in the red Civic.

[H]

Okay, that's a red Civic? What's the year of that?

[A]

Oh, woman never tells her age.

[H]

Okay, this is troubling. Ma', Am, you should probably turn around and go home.

[A]

You can make a U turn on a freeway.

[H]

No, no, ma', am, if you made a U turn on a highway, that wouldn't be safe or legal.

[A]

You act like I've never been arrested before.

[D]

Okay, that's funny.

[F]

Honda Civic.

[A]

That's funny. Listen, if you're not gonna give me his information, can you just tell him that my address is on my brassiere so he could just send it back?

[H]

Okay, I absolutely will not do that. And I hope your brassiere is nowhere on or near our vehicle.

[A]

I signed my bra and I put it in his passenger seat.

[D]

Yeah.

[H]

What?

[A]

Well, I tossed it in there because back at the diner, he left the window open a crack.

[H]

Oh, man.

[A]

I didn't introduce myself. I didn't want to look like a stalker.

[H]

Ma', am, that's exactly what you're doing by not following my directions and not listening to me right now.

[A]

Oh, I also wrote on the backside of the bra, I wrote down my favorite radio show, Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

[H]

I don't even see how that's relevant. I need you to hang up the phone and turn off at the next exit and stop following.

[A]

They're the ones that do the prank phone. You don't like this one that you're on right now?

[H]

What?

[A]

Can you not. You can't hear me? Maybe. Can you hear me better now? This is actually. Yeah.

[H]

Why is the driving stopped?

[A]

Because this is actually Brooke from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. And I'm in a radio studio right now. And that was just a sound effect.

[H]

Oh, my God.

[D]

What?

[H]

Are you kidding me?

[D]

No, no.

[A]

Your boss, Elena, wrote us and said it's your one year anniversary at your job. Congratulations. Oh, no.

[H]

Oh, man. No. We've had people follow our drivers before.

[A]

She told me that. She said you deal with a lot of Weirdos.

[H]

Yeah, but most of them don't sign a bra and put it in the driver's seat.

[A]

Oh, that was actually my favorite one. So I do need that back. If you could send it to the radio station.

[H]

No, wait, did you really? Wait, no.

[G]

You're kidding me.

[I]

Wait, that Was your number three phone call?

[A]

Half of 20, 25. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, for sure.

[D]

The most annoying part of dating apps isn't the constant scrolling or the inappropriate dms or even coming across Brook's secret cougar match profile again and again and again.

[C]

Watch out, boys, don't get bit.

[D]

It's all the wasted energy that you put in getting to know somebody really, really well, only to never actually meet up with them in person.

[A]

So frustrating.

[D]

Brook knows.

[A]

Wait, I mean, it sounds like it's so frustrating.

[D]

Well, our listener on the phone says he's been there too many times and now he has a method to eliminate that headache and get right to the good stuff. You're going to hear it in a second date update right after this. This second date update, if you ask me and Brooke, you'll probably agree with this.

[E]

Okay?

[D]

The dating world needs more ultimatums.

[A]

No.

[C]

J.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

No. Ultimatums are not ever good.

[D]

Ever. I think maybe we need them because the more listeners we talk to, everybody seems so indecisive. All right? So wishy washy. Like, oh, maybe I'll date her or maybe that other hot girl, or maybe I'll just stick with my wife. I don't really know. I'm stuck on the fence here. Ultimatum suddenly sounding good, huh, bruh?

[A]

Stick to your wife. Like, what is happening?

[C]

That's the ultimatum.

[D]

That's why I appreciate somebody who's actually willing to lay all their cards down on the table and say, this is it. Take it or leave it.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And apparently that's how our listener Dustin rolls ultimatum style.

[A]

Oh, at least off the get go.

[D]

Well, that's the vibe I got from his email. Dustin, welcome to the show.

[F]

Hey, how's it going, guys?

[D]

Hey.

[A]

You sound like such a nice guy for being such a badass ultimatum maker.

[D]

Yeah, tell me if I was wrong, but it sounds like you like to play the dating game a little bit more straightforward.

[F]

Yeah, totally. Let's go, man. I mean, I don't have that much time left. I'm not gonna sit there and text all day.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

To what extent do you do this?

[F]

Here's my new rule. Now, when I talk to people, it's like if I don't meet up with them right away, it Pretty much just kind of fizzles out.

[A]

Okay. I mean, I can see how that could happen.

[D]

If you don't do that, you'll get strung along for weeks and months and maybe never even. What is that person?

[A]

What is right away to you? What does that mean?

[F]

Yeah, I think, like, 48 to 72 hours. We should at least have, like, some kind of plan to hang out. But, like, if that plan's not established and it's probably never going to work out.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

That's actually kind of a rule of thumb.

[A]

I kind of like that rule. Yeah, like, it's respecting everybody's time.

[D]

Yeah. Dating runs on deadlines, and so that's good. You gave Jessica the dating deadline.

[F]

Well, I don't know.

[G]

She.

[F]

I ended up just getting her number, and then I pretty much, like, kind of took the conversation elsewhere off the app and then just started texting from there.

[B]

I feel like that's an important step because otherwise the app, you don't open it, you know, you don't reply. Yeah, I don't.

[A]

Check this.

[D]

They're another Tinder person. So once it got off of the apps, how did you and Jessica vibe?

[F]

She's really, really funny. So she pretty much was just saying, like, hey, long time no chat.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. And did you turn it into an in person date pretty quickly?

[F]

Yeah, we went out for pizza. I love pizza.

[A]

And how was it in person?

[F]

Oh, you want to know the crazy part about that?

[A]

Yes, obviously. That's the only part I want to know.

[C]

Sorry. I want to know the boring part.

[D]

We'll start with the crazy part first.

[C]

Start there.

[F]

She looked really different from the photos that were on the profile.

[A]

Bad or good different.

[F]

Not like a catfish. I mean, she was still, like, super cute. Like, for sure.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

But, like, different different. Like different.

[C]

Okay, like, wait, like, say it again.

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

No, do you mean, like, she colored her hair a different color?

[C]

Maybe a full face tattoo that wasn't there before?

[F]

No, nothing like that. But that would have been, like, totally cool.

[D]

Okay. Overall, though, you liked what you saw in person?

[F]

Yeah, she was cute. It was just different than what I expected. But could this be my perspective? A lot of the photos she had, she was wearing sunglasses, so it could be misjudged through that.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. Sunglasses now cover, like, 70% of the face. So now that we've covered the crazy.

[C]

Take them off. There's no eyes.

[A]

Yeah, that was a crazy part.

[D]

Now that we've covered all the crazy parts of the date, bring us to the boring. You Know, mushy stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's my favorite part.

[D]

Jose wants to know how the rest of the date went.

[F]

Everything was normal about the date, but then there was, like, this one part that was really weird.

[D]

Oh, okay. Going back to crazy again.

[F]

It wasn't like super crazy, but it was just like one of those another different things than I thought.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Happen.

[F]

Well, on her profile, like, she talks about, like, Pilates and bunch of, like, Pilates stuff is on her profile.

[I]

Right.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah, So I was kind of. I was. I thought that was kind of cool about her, but every time I would talk to her about Pilates, I swear she would just kept redirecting the conversation into something else.

[A]

Huh. So it's either like. No, it feels like she either lied on her bio or you're talking to a different. Different person than what you're thinking.

[B]

That's what I'm thinking too. Yeah, but I mean, are you confusing girls?

[D]

But, Alexis, you put stuff in your profile that you don't actually care much about. It's more of like a. I love sports. I don't.

[B]

I do like sports.

[A]

She was a collegiate athlete. She's more athletic than you, Jeff.

[D]

But she also says that she enjoys baseball even though she thinks it has a halftime in it.

[B]

I enjoy the halftimes in the game, Jeff. That is accurate.

[D]

They're not halftime.

[C]

They're after halftime stretch in the second inning, Jeff.

[D]

Okay. I'm just saying maybe she isn't fully into Pilates as much as she claims on her.

[B]

I feel like there's just easier props to put on there.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And I will say there is. There is a phenomenon right now that if you aren't a die hard fan of something, you're not allowed to say that you like it.

[C]

Oh, you got a fan or nothing.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So how long has it been since you last spoke to Jessica?

[F]

It's been like six days.

[D]

Ooh. Oh, no.

[A]

Which is a long time. When you were moving so quick, you know, like you were. You had a pacing going, and it's dead.

[F]

I don't understand. Because we both had such a great time. She said she had a great time, I had a great time.

[D]

You know, let's try and keep the great times going. And we give this girl another ultimatum. I am. It's either go out with Dustin now or lose him forever.

[C]

Well, that's always the ultimate.

[B]

Yeah, that's if you like Pilates or not.

[D]

Yeah. It just sounds more scary if you say ultimatum.

[C]

It is a scary word.

[D]

We're gonna come back and do it with your second date right after this. Hold on. Second date update. Today's second date update begs the question. Can you fully trust what you see in someone's dating profile? Because our listener Dustin met up with a woman from Bumble who looked a little different than her picture.

[A]

Not bad, though. Just different.

[D]

Yeah, like a good good different. And even though her bio talked about politics, bodies a lot, she didn't really want to discuss it much on their date, which is kind of strange. But to be fair, my old dating profile said I'm Jewish, but any woman who met up with me would discover I'm not kosher and not good with money. So probably equally confusing. Yeah, I mean, you can't trust it fully from the dating profile. The good news is Dustin, despite the differences, is really had a good time with her. He felt like they vibed in ways he hasn't in the two years that he has spent on this app before.

[A]

God, I really want this to work out for you, Justin. Just because you have put in the time and the effort and you seem like a good guy.

[F]

Yeah, thanks a lot, Brooke. I really do appreciate that about you.

[C]

You appreciate that she compliments you?

[D]

Well, her. Her fingers are crossed right now when she said that, so.

[A]

Jeff, you don't have to tell everybody everything, okay?

[D]

I. I feel like there is some part of Brooke that really is rooting for you today. Jessica. I am.

[A]

I am. I think this is going to be a simple, like, miscommunication or something, you know?

[F]

I mean, yeah, possibly. I mean, I don't know. As long as you guys get me another date.

[D]

Yeah. All right. All right, well, let's dial Jessica right now. We'll see if she picks up and hopefully has a simple explanation for why she hasn't hit you back. Calling her right now. Here we go.

[G]

Hello?

[D]

Hey, is this Jessica?

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Who's this?

[D]

Hey.

[A]

She's so cute.

[D]

I know. It's so nice to talk to someone who's, like, positive and perky when we're talking to them. Because we're doing a second date update.

[C]

Most of our listeners are like, who is this?

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

I'm sorry, what?

[C]

Yep, there it is.

[D]

What is this? Yeah, sorry. I threw a lot at you. We're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, which you're on right now. Congratulations. Hi.

[G]

Okay.

[I]

Hi.

[C]

Good morning.

[D]

This segment is called Second Date Update. I don't know if you've heard it before, but it's a thing where if somebody blows you off and you're not sure why we can try to call that person for you to maybe figure out if there's a reason for it.

[G]

Okay, I didn't blow anyone off.

[A]

What? Yeah, I mean, I guess she said sick. I mean, he said six days, so maybe that's not blowing someone off to you. Maybe that's not enough time.

[D]

Yeah, because six days ago, you went out with a guy who, at least according to him, felt like you had a really good connection afterwards. He feels like you've been pulling away a little bit. His name is Dustin.

[G]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

You forgot about that one, huh? One guy that you're. Oh, him.

[D]

Oh, my gosh.

[G]

I'm not trying to blow him off. I just don't know what to do.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I think it's pretty simple. You should text him and go out with him again.

[G]

No, I mean, like, I don't know how much she told you or what, you know? But I actually matched with Dustin a year and a half ago.

[C]

A year and a half?

[A]

Wait, he said that you guys just met on the app and that you.

[G]

Yeah. So when I got a text from him, like, a week ago, I was kind of confused because I was like, this is weird. It's kind of out of the blue, but I was just like, oh, whatever. And I was just like, long time, no chat.

[A]

Oh, yeah. He said that you made a joke that you were joking because you had just been chatting with him.

[G]

It wasn't a joke. It really was a long time.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Wait, I'm confused.

[A]

So you hadn't talked to Dustin in a year and a half on an app at all is what you're saying, right?

[G]

It was just a year and a half ago. You never replied to one of my texts. And then all of a sudd, I get a text from him.

[A]

And then you guys went to pizza, right?

[D]

You did meet up, right?

[G]

We got pizza. And I was kind of like, I wonder why all of a sudden he wants to talk to me now? But I was like, I remember he and I got along really well on Bumble, and so I was just like, yeah, sure, let's get pizza.

[D]

And is it true he's in a.

[A]

Coma for a year and a half and he doesn't remember?

[B]

He told us he went from the app to that, yes, he met a year and a half ago.

[D]

And that seems like a big miscommunication. What about the baby?

[A]

It has to be the same person. It's the same.

[G]

It kept talking about pilates and how, like, he kept asking about it, and I was like, pilates Like, I don't have that in my bio.

[C]

That's the other girl.

[D]

Oh, no.

[G]

But then I was like, oh my gosh, Jessica is a really common name. And I thinking about it, and I was like, oh, shoot.

[D]

You think that he went out with the wrong Jessica or texted the wrong Jessica in his.

[G]

Yeah, I mean, like, it could have been another Jessica from Bumble.

[A]

Okay, wait, wait, wait though.

[C]

You have him as Dustin Bumble? He probably has multiple Jessica Bumbles. That makes so much sense.

[A]

Did you have fun with him?

[G]

I did, yeah. No, I. I had a lot of fun with him.

[D]

Even though you had to keep dodging his questions about Pilates?

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

I mean, honestly, I didn't know what to say. I was kind of embarrassed, but, like, we were really enjoying ourselves.

[D]

So this makes sense why Dustin told us that she didn't look like the pictures from the girl that he matched with a couple weeks ago.

[G]

Wait, he. He said that?

[A]

Yeah, but he added that you were super cute. It's not like it was a disappointment. I think that's important to know.

[C]

Can I also say you're both in the same spot? Because he's like, I don't know where to go from here, and she just said, I don't know where to go from here. Yeah, they're both in limbo. This is kind of perfect.

[D]

Well, yeah, I guess that's it. Sorry.

[A]

No, no, she. Tell her. She doesn't know how to tell him and now she doesn't even have to.

[D]

I guess the other option is, if you are interested, Dustin has been listening to this call on the other phone line.

[A]

Yeah, he knows everything.

[G]

What? Oh, my gosh.

[D]

If he hasn't fainted already. Dustin, are you there?

[F]

Holy. I can't believe this happened. I'm such an idiot.

[A]

I'm such an idiot.

[F]

Wait, as you guys were talking about it, I was looking through my phone and I saw all the different Jessica Bumbles.

[D]

Oh, dude.

[G]

How many Jessica's have you been talking to?

[F]

I don't know. I mean, I'm embarrassed though. I mean, I'm. I'm so sorry.

[G]

Yeah, when you kept bringing up Pilates, I was like, why did he keep bringing this up? Like, did you want to see a move? I wasn't sure what you're talking about.

[F]

But I know, I know now. I just. I thought it was very interesting at the time, that's all.

[D]

He was only asking because he thought that you were super interested in it. But that was a different Jessica Bumble.

[A]

I mean, now you need to maybe tell him what Are your hobbies and interests? Has no idea.

[G]

I actually love soccer and I love hiking and I speak a little French and.

[F]

Yeah, I think I remember that from a year and a half ago.

[D]

Or was that the other Jessica Bumble? Like Jessica Bumble number four?

[C]

Oh my God, she's from France.

[D]

That's right.

[A]

You could have saved so much time and headache in your life if you would have just gone out a year and a half ago.

[D]

Yeah, you guys click.

[F]

Brooke, you're so right. I'm again. I'm just such an idiot.

[D]

Women do like hearing that. So that's a good thing for you to start saying. So now that we've cleared up the big misunderstanding and you realize who each other are, you like each other. At least it seems that way from our perspective. We'd like to offer to send you out on another date, Jessica. And we would pay for it if you say yes.

[F]

Maybe this could be like a mistake that was meant to be.

[A]

See, that's what you need to turn it around. Come on, Dustin.

[G]

I want to hear something from Dustin. And depending on what he says, maybe I'll say yes.

[D]

What is it?

[G]

Out of all those Jessica's, which one do you like best?

[D]

Tough answer here.

[C]

He's like Jessica 18.

[F]

Well, to be honest. Look, to be honest, Jessica, you're the only Jessica I had a real connection with. All the other Jessica's I never even hung out with.

[A]

So look at that. You're the og.

[D]

You're the only one that would talk to me.

[C]

So you at least he's too honest.

[D]

Did that answer your question, Jessica?

[G]

It did. Yeah. I'll. I'll go out again.

[D]

Yay.

[B]

I think they're so cute.

[D]

Well, congratulations you two. You're going out again. And it's probably a good lesson for you, Dustin. You got to put the year that you matched with the person next to their names in your contacts.

[C]

I'm always like emoji.

[A]

I'm hoping after this he doesn't have any more matches. Like this is it.

[F]

I think after this I'm not going to use the dating apps for a while.

[D]

After two years, bro, you need a break.

[A]

Honestly. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[D]

See, that's why we do the second date updates. Jessica said she didn't know what to do. She was caught mid date with a guy who thought that she was somebody else.

[A]

God, that is so. That's my worst nightmare.

[C]

I mean, it would be a turn.

[D]

Off obviously, but it would like super awkward. Like how do you even bring that up? The thing is, she wasn't a total stranger. They'd matched 18 months before that. And like, we heard they seem to be actually pretty cute together.

[A]

I mean, sometimes it's all about timing. You know, maybe, maybe 18 months ago, he would have thought, oh, I just got on the dating apps. It's gonna be awesome. And then now he's two years in, he's like, wait, it's not.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Is there a part of me that thinks Dustin is texting the other Jessica right now? The one that he ghosted a week ago?

[A]

How dare you even bring that up?

[D]

Let's remember, he is a guy and we're addicted to the chase. Hey, hopefully he can just focus on the current Jessica and the good thing that they have going.

[A]

Why would you even put that in his head? If he's listening.

[C]

No, if you're listening, change the other Jessica's to do not text.

[A]

Yeah, just for now, just delete their number. That's even easier.

[C]

No, you never know.

[D]

Never say never. Yeah, but remember, you can listen to all of our second date updates on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts at. Brooke and Jeffrey.

[A]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[D]

Happy holidays, everyone. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[C]

Happy holidays, Jeff.

[D]

And I don't know if you know this, but some people are obsessed with checking out nudes online.

[A]

What?

[E]

Where? What?

[D]

Christmas tree?

[E]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

Wait, what is it is right.

[C]

What size?

[A]

What's a Christmas tree? Nude.

[D]

What I mean by that is there's a naked Christmas tree trend that's going viral on social media.

[A]

You mean just a tree with no ornaments or lights?

[D]

Basically, yeah. Tree in your house without any ornaments? No decorations or tinsel. And sometimes even without lights. Oh, wow.

[C]

This is what my family does.

[D]

We'll put a photo up on the Brooke and Jeffrey instastory so everybody can see it.

[A]

This is like from Kim Kardashian's house, isn't it? It's like that minimalist thing when you.

[B]

Drive through the the rich neighborhoods and you see in the window, no decorations on.

[D]

You couldn't be more wrong. It's Khloe Kardashian.

[A]

Sorry.

[D]

Okay. They are not the same person. Also, Victoria Beckham is doing this. A lot of big Hollywood celebrities and influencers are getting in.

[A]

That sucks though. Cuz the best part of your tree is putting up all the ornaments from your life. You know, the things that your kids made, the ones you got on trips.

[B]

They probably have that in one of the rooms.

[A]

You know, like room five.

[D]

They show the reason why everybody, everybody's getting on board is because it's more of a less is more celebration. Enjoy the feeling of a clean looking tree without the chaos and the clutter in the kitchen.

[C]

That's why we do it.

[A]

Says Victoria Beckham who has everything.

[D]

She's the most posh.

[C]

I trust her.

[D]

Others do say it does look a little bit unfinished, even joyless, possibly intimidating. Like an animal might jump out of it and claw your face off.

[A]

It was tough for us. Get used to is exciting.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like it's a different kind of. You never know what's gonna happen when you walk by the tree. Is there a raccoon in it?

[D]

Christmas has all types of different thrills that you can get on board with. Either way, it's been slowly growing in popularity and some retailers have noticed and are now offering nearly nude pre lit trees.

[A]

Okay, that's them in the box. It's for beige moms. You know beige moms where everything's beige. It's like white and beige. And they eat the all almonds. It's the same part.

[B]

The almonds. Yeah, it's their snack. I've heard of it, but I feel like you added the almonds.

[D]

Yeah. Personally, I don't judge moms during Christmas, but if you want to do that, go ahead. We are not allowed to do a nude laser stories. Not yet. So a regular one is coming up right after this.

[C]

Hello, it's laser stories.

[D]

It's the radio segment that's turning the yogurt game on its its ear with a new creamy protein packed flavor. To start off your day, try out hot dog yogurt or hoyo for sure.

[A]

Is it made with real hot dog water?

[D]

Comes in variations from spicy brat swirl to hot link happiness with real processed meat aftertaste in every single bite.

[A]

Is there chunks at the bottom that you have to stir up?

[D]

You'll have to get one to find out with laser stories, the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does. Except we've got a laser those other Frankensplurters just don't. This first laser story is out of Swipe City.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

There's a new dating app where the most important thing in the bio is your weight, fertility and milk production. That an awful word? Yes, it is. For cows. Oh, thank God.

[C]

God, I truly was like offended for women.

[A]

I was ready to sign up if I was single.

[D]

She's fertile.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The farm where milk is produced for Bailey's Irish cream is the first big adopter of a new app called Tinder for he.

[A]

Of course it'd be an alcohol company that's like, yeah, let's get our cows on Tinder.

[D]

The fourth generation dairy farmer says it's been an incredible success, which allows farmers to find their cow's perfect mate by searching through animal ancestry as well as listing their weight, fertility and milk production. They should do this with Wagyu cows. There's currently 230 Bailey's ladies who provide the essential ingredient for the Irish liqueur. And the farmers who oversee it say they deserve premium bulls and nothing less.

[A]

How cute that they call them Bailey's Ladies. Yeah. That is the cutest name for title ever.

[D]

Optimizing mating reduces the chances of inbreeding, which cuts waste and lowers overall carbon emissions. Oh, where were they? At Brooks Family Reunion?

[C]

Fertile inbreeding there too.

[A]

One bull showed up and was like, that's my sister.

[D]

Anyway, the new Tinder for Cows is a paid dating service at $135 a year. And it's not just for the Bailey heifers. The app now has over 25,000 Irish beef and dairy cows on it.

[A]

Oh, cute. So they're cows with accents.

[D]

Yep. That number is only supposed to grow, so go ahead and slide into Bessie's DMs because she is ready and willing.

[B]

Better not get catfished on there.

[C]

That was cow fished.

[D]

Yeah. This next Sler story is out of Word World. The Internet became a bigger cesspool of information this year than ever before.

[A]

You mean disposal? Misinformation, right?

[C]

Really, Brooke? Really?

[D]

What did I say?

[A]

Information?

[D]

I thought I said misinformation. Sorry. Yeah, misinformation than ever before. So this pick makes sense. Merriam Webster's word of the year is slop. As in AI Slop. Okay, they define it as digital content of low quality that's produced usually in high quantity by means of artificial intelligence.

[A]

You're telling me that that AI model with six fingers isn't real?

[D]

Well, AI content got so cheap and easy this year, it's unavoidable at this point. From cookie cutter writing full of botched facts to that fun video your dad sent of an old lady on a sled crashing into a fence.

[C]

My dad sends me so many AI videos.

[A]

That's a giraffe on a trampoline. You don't believe it?

[D]

Much funnier than what we're doing. AI Slop is everywhere right now. No, they say they picked it cuz it managed to sum up the problem in just four letters.

[A]

Oh, I thought they picked it because they put it into chat GPT. And that's what it picked most likely.

[D]

That's true. Plus it gave us a fun way to mock AI.

[A]

Yeah, I hate that.

[D]

We love doing that.

[A]

I like.

[C]

I like roasting them.

[D]

Other words that made their short list include gerrymander, touch grass, performative tariff, and meanwhile, Dictionary.com's word of the year 67.

[A]

Hey.

[D]

Which is I guess technically two one words or two numbers.

[C]

But hyphenated I believe.

[A]

Dude, I was at the sixth grade band concert last night. And the band director goes, okay, we're gonna have to take a break for six to seven minutes. He didn't do it on purpose. Total accident.

[B]

Blew up.

[A]

It was awesome.

[D]

Let's go to your next laser story out of food News. Today, in celebration of National Maple Syrup Day, the restaurant chain Denny's is dropping literal street wear drip with the replacement release of Sticky Kicks.

[A]

Oh yeah, Sticky Kicks.

[D]

I'm showing the picture to my co host here. Yeah, I love the color. Sticky Kicks is the first ever sneakers filled with real Denny's syrup.

[A]

Oh my God. There's like pouches of it.

[D]

Denny says the limited edition sneakers are impractical, unnecessary, and completely over the top, which is exactly why we love them. So each pair features Denny's iconic yellow, brown and red colors. And then on the sides, there's transparent panels that encase the syrup, which they did have to add a disclaimer saying, do not puncture the shoes or eat the syrup from the shoes for any reason. These drips are for style only, so please leave it there.

[A]

What if it's an emergency and you have waffles but you don't have syrup?

[D]

Yes, except. Except for emergency, obviously. The Sticky Kicks will drop exclusively at 9am today on a first come first serve basis for $195 a pop. And not surprisingly, they expect to sell out almost instantly.

[C]

I will say imagine rolling up into a Denny's on that.

[D]

You're a rock star. Yes, you are. Let's go to your final laser story out of holiday headquarters. Even if you love holiday shop shopping, everybody has one stubborn person on their list who is very difficult to shop for. And let's be honest, it's grandpa and he knows it. I agree. So a poll asked, how easy or difficult do you think it is for other people to pick out gifts for you? Oh, 20% said very easy. Another 38 said relatively easy. And 9% admitted it is very hard to to shop for them. Oh, if you break it down by demographics, the people most likely to admit they're very hard to shop for are men over the age of 65. Wow.

[A]

So the grandpas know it.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

I think we're all easy to shop for.

[D]

Anybody here think they're picky?

[B]

It's when you get older, it's like, what do they need? Like, they have everything.

[A]

Yeah, totally.

[D]

The group most likely to say they're easy to shop for are Southern women between the age ages of 30 and 44.

[C]

I just said I'm easy to shop for.

[A]

Well, you're a Southern woman.

[D]

Yep. Oh, I also asked, how good or bad do you think you are at picking out gifts for people in your life? I'm.

[C]

I love shopping.

[A]

Well, I think I'm pretty good.

[D]

Yeah. Well, according to the study, the worst gift buyers are boomer men.

[A]

Once again, men over 65, they're hard to buy for.

[D]

They can't shop for anyone else else. Maybe we should just have them buy gifts for themselves.

[C]

Seriously.

[D]

And if they do, they're probably gonna need somebody else to help wrap the gifts for them. Because guess what? Grandpas are also the group most likely to admit being terrible at wrapping presents, too.

[E]

You suck.

[A]

Come on, grandpa. Step it up.

[C]

You know grandpa's gonna buy his own gift and go, last year, this was $10 less. He's still gonna.

[A]

That's why grandpa's only give you $5 cash for every holiday.

[C]

They don't go for inflation.

[D]

Yeah, and that's why I always tell all my friends, learn to wrap it up right. And that's what this guy practices. And he is so excited for Christmas that most of his presents are already wet from walking on them. He just got out of his pond, Brooke. He's a turtle, remember?

[A]

You're.

[D]

You are disgusting. Whatever you were thinking. If you have any issues, look upstairs to the brick rain inside of you.

[C]

Come on.

[D]

That's the problem.

[C]

Next to anybody disappointed in BRO this.

[D]

Was a very wholesome edition of laser stories that Brooke has completely ruined. We're gonna do same time on Friday.

[A]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[D]

Sing it, Brooke. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, hippopotamus will do with confidence don't rock the.

[C]

Come on, Brooke.

[D]

I don't know this song. Are you kidding me? Timid hippopotamuses and hippopotamuses love me too. And that song doesn't just describe Brooke's dating history. It's also celebrating the joyous demands of selfish children on Christmas. Oh.

[A]

Cause she's demanding a hippopotamus.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Absolutely ridiculous.

[D]

And in the spirit of the holiday, Brooke is selfishly demanding a win today. We'll see if she can pull it off against Ron, who played her a year ago and lost horribly.

[A]

Wow, you got to add that horribly in there, huh?

[D]

That was his description of the game. Ron, what are you wanting for Christmas this year?

[F]

All I want for Christmas this year, Jeff, is to beat Brooke.

[A]

That's as ridiculous as a hippopotamus.

[D]

Ron, you don't have to take it. Yeah, we're going to clap back at her once she leaves the studio. But you got 30 seconds on the clock to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know when you can say pass. But you have to beat her outright if you want to win. Are you ready?

[F]

I have been waiting a year for this.

[D]

This is the moment. You got this, dude. Your time starts now. The Simpsons debuted on this day in 1989. What network does it air on? Bucks, how many colors are on a standard Rubik's Cube?

[F]

6.

[D]

The dessert tiramisu was invented in which country? In the 2013 movie Frozen, what actress voiced Princess Anna?

[F]

Pass.

[D]

What do you call it when an object collapses inwards on itself due to immense pressure? Implode. Oh, yeah, we'll accept that answer for sure.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh, yes. Just the way that Ron said it really got me going. Now Brooke is back. Ron, you just speak my language, dude.

[A]

Are you two flirting?

[C]

They are flirting.

[E]

Please don't worry about it.

[D]

It's called bro bonding. Okay, but now Brooke is back in the studio and I have a feeling she's going to be extremely jealous of Ron's holiday tradition that he's been a part of since he's been little. His mom is a baker and she makes everybody in their family their own individual favorite pies. What? Ron, what's yours?

[F]

Chocolate cream with whipped cream on top.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, I just.

[C]

Banana cream.

[A]

I just. I'm sorry. I just pictured, do you know Matilda and the cake eating scene with the boy eating the chocolate cake. I just pictured that as you as a child.

[F]

It's funny you mentioned that because one of the hippopotamus is. When the song became a big hit hit Peavy received a £700 baby hippo named Matilda.

[A]

Oh, what a small world.

[D]

How did this happen? The stars just aligned during this segment. And Ron, it also says that you guys do presents on Christmas Eve. Stockings only on Christmas day.

[F]

Right. Isn't that weird?

[A]

Yeah, that's what Jose's family kind of does too.

[C]

Yeah, we do all family exchange on Christmas Eve. And then Christmas Day A is for Santa only.

[A]

Yeah. And eating entire pies.

[F]

Yes, but Santa only brings stockings. I never understood that you guys are.

[D]

Talking about gifts inside the stockings. I thought it was only wearing stockings. Only. Okay, now I'm not as interested in that tradition. Ron, I'm sorry. It's your turn. Are you ready?

[A]

Stockings only. Let's go.

[D]

Oh, God. Your time starts now. The Simpsons debuted on this day in 1989. What network does it air on?

[A]

Fox.

[D]

How many colors are on a standard Rubik's Cube?

[A]

8. Nope, nope. 6.

[D]

You're lucky. I paused. The dessert tiramisu was invented in which country?

[A]

Italy.

[D]

In the 2013 movie Frozen, what actress voiced Princess Anna?

[A]

Kristen Bell.

[D]

What do you call it when an object collapses inwards on itself due to immense pressure?

[A]

Oh, imploding.

[D]

I liked it better when Ron said it, but let's go the way he answers.

[A]

So you guys were flirting?

[D]

Let's just go to the scoreboard to see how you both did with Jose.

[B]

It's so good. It's like Christmas in my mouth.

[C]

Ron, you got three correct today, friend.

[F]

Oh, no.

[E]

Sensual three.

[D]

That's not bad. Good score, Brooke.

[C]

All five Koreans.

[D]

I'm sorry, Ron, but at least you didn't lose horribly this time.

[F]

Just normally I would call that kind of horribly. I had to pass two questions in a row.

[C]

No, that's a five to three.

[D]

That's ggs. It's okay, Ron. Let's go over the answers for everybody. Simpsons debuted on this day in 1989. It airs on the Fox network. I love the Simpsons Rubik's Cube. Standard Rubik's Cube has six colors, one for each side. The dessert tiramisu was invented in Italy. In the movie Frozen, Princess Anna is voiced by actress Kristen Bell. Elsa was voiced by Adina Menzel. And when object collapses inwards on itself due to immense pressure, it's called implosion or imploding.

[F]

Oh, yeah, imploding.

[A]

Oh, wow. Is that how he said it? That's how he said it.

[F]

That's just my voice. I'm sorry.

[D]

I can't help. Classic Ron. Sorry, dude. It wasn't enough to be broke. But just for playing. Okay, we're going to give you a $25 Disney gift card valid at any Disney resort, theme park, or online in the Disney Store.

[F]

Awesome. I love it.

[A]

Yeah. Well, hey, happy pie day on Christmas to you, Ron.

[F]

Yeah, you too, Brooke. Happy, happy New Year and happy holidays, everybody.

[D]

I really wish you.

[A]

Goodbye, guy. You're such a good loser, Ron.

[D]

Oh, what a friendly way to end the game, Ron. Come back and play again soon. We're going to do? Win Brooks Bucks same time tomorrow.