Jeffrey (2:49)

Oh, yes. Very educational.

Brooke (2:51)

Did you know about this before, Jose?

Jose (2:53)

Yeah, it's a thing.

Brooke (2:54)

It's a thing.

Jose (2:54)

Yeah.

Tori (2:55)

Yeah.

Brooke (2:55)

Had you ever abided by the rules?

Jose (2:57)

I don't know. I don't really. Yeah, I just kind of randomly get action. It's a blessing to me.

Brooke (3:02)

Okay, no doubt. No doubt for Jose. All right, let's find out what it is. The show starts right now.

Brooke (3:10)

Second Date Update. We got an email from one of our listeners who says he's been living his life by a dating philosophy that's been circulating on the Internet now for about two decades.

Brooke (3:22)

Two decades.

Brooke (3:23)

It's called the Tao of Steve. That is Tao of Steve and I. I've not heard anything about this, but according to him, it involves three basic rules that men must live by.

Brooke (3:35)

Okay.

Brooke (3:36)

Number one, be desireless.

Brooke (3:39)

Number two, nobody wants you.

Jose (3:42)

Yeah, I'm good at that one.

Brooke (3:43)

I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out. Number two is be excellent. And number three, be gone. And if you can live by all three of those rules as a man, you will become irresistible to any woman on Earth. Even married women, Brook. So look out. Maybe get your earplugs ready before we talk to him.

Brooke (4:04)

I love those gone boys.

Brooke (4:05)

Yeah, we're gonna learn more in a second. First, let's say hello to Bobby, who needs our spiritual guidance today. Bobby, welcome to the show.

Bobby (4:12)

Hey, guys. How you doing?

Brooke (4:13)

I wanted you to be Steve, the originator of all of this, but apparently you're Bobby. That works, too.

Bobby (4:19)

Well. We can't be everything, I guess. All the time. I'm doing my best here. I'm doing my best.

Brooke (4:23)

Is it. Isn't calling our Show Breaking Rules 1 and 3 already? Of your.

Bobby (4:28)

Yeah, you guys are on to me, but it's a desperate situation. I need you.

Brooke (4:32)

That's rule number four. Be desperate. Jeffrey just didn't get to it.

Brooke (4:35)

Yeah. So tell us, who's this woman that's making you go against everything you believe in?

Bobby (4:40)

Her name is Tori. She's super hot and she's super nice, and we just had an amazing date. And, like, I don't know, normally a woman would respond to all these philosophical things I've done, but it's completely backfiring on me now.

Brooke (4:57)

Because if you're excited about someone, and it's like, the first time you've ever felt this way. Like, lean into it. Like, life's too short to be desireless.

Jeffrey (5:06)

And you could tell sometimes if someone's, like, purposely waiting to reply to do it, like.

Brooke (5:10)

Yeah. Next thing you know, you end up on this show, and you hit your rock bottom. So.

Brooke (5:14)

Wow.

Brooke (5:15)

Bobby, tell us how. How did you get to this point? Like, tell us about your date with Tori.

Brooke (5:19)

How did you know her? Is it an online thing or.

Bobby (5:21)

No, I met her at a bar. I just kind of bumped into her. And you have to be desire full in the beginning, and then you be desire less.

Brooke (5:30)

Okay.

Bobby (5:31)

That's how it works.

Brooke (5:32)

Okay. Makes sense.

Bobby (5:34)

I'm in the phase between desireless and be excellent. And we're waiting outside the restaurant because it's, like, a popular place, you know? So I had my opportunity to be excellent. Just come upon me. It was awesome.

Jose (5:50)

What are you excellent at? Friend.

Brooke (5:52)

Oh, I'm excited what this opportunity was.

Brooke (5:54)

What happened?

Bobby (5:55)

So this foreign family, I'm not sure where they were from. I didn't speak whatever language they spoke. Like, vaguely. I can tell they're looking for a specific museum. Like, a really famous museum.

Brooke (6:05)

Okay, so they're like, tourists in the area and they need some help.

Bobby (6:08)

Yeah, exactly.

Brooke (6:09)

Okay.

Bobby (6:10)

They weren't understanding my directions, so I was just, like. With my fingers, I was like, I will walk you there. You know, like little, like, walking man fingers.

Brooke (6:19)

Interesting. Most people would pull out Google translate on their phone or pull it up.

Jeffrey (6:23)

On their phone on Google Maps and.

Brooke (6:25)

Give it to them, but. Okay.

Bobby (6:27)

Yeah, but Google maps isn't excellent. I want to be excellent.

Jose (6:31)

You're being kind.

Brooke (6:32)

You're going to leave your date standing in front of the restaurant while you walk this family?

Bobby (6:36)

Absolutely not. I took her with me.

Brooke (6:39)

Okay, so now you're demonstrating that you're a guy who's willing to help strangers, you know your way around the neighborhood, generally a lot of excellent qualities.

Brooke (6:48)

You know what a museum is?

Brooke (6:49)

Yes.

Bobby (6:50)

You know, exactly.

Brooke (6:51)

So did you go straight to the bedroom from the museum, or did you have to do more?

Bobby (6:55)

Well, you know, if you have the chance to be excellent twice, let's do it twice. And luckily for your boy here, he was excellent twice in one night at.

Jose (7:04)

The museum, Someone needed directions back to the restaurant, coincidentally.

Brooke (7:09)

What'd you do the second time?

Bobby (7:11)

The second time we're having dinner. Dinner's, like, pretty much finishing up. And you could just tell, like, someone dined in dash. Someone hadn't paid their bill. Yeah, like, the waiters were all huddling together and stuff. And, like, that's how you know it was an expensive bill. It was a big deal. Yeah, I took care of the bill and I tipped the waiter. Just kind of nonchalant, like, oh, wow.

Jose (7:34)

That'S super nice, bro.

Brooke (7:36)

I thought you were going to go to hero mode and tackle the Dine and Dasher, but you just took care of it.

Bobby (7:42)

I mean, I think tackling the Dine and dasher is cool, but it's even cooler to be nonchalant.

Brooke (7:47)

I see.

Brooke (7:48)

How do you be nonchalant after just going over and paying someone else's bill? Like, what do you say to Tori when you come back to the table?

Bobby (7:54)

Well, the thing is, you say nothing and you wait for her to question you. What was that? And then you reveal.

Brooke (8:00)

Wow.

Brooke (8:01)

Did she fall into that ploy?

Bobby (8:03)

100%. She was like, what was that? I was like, I just took care of it. Little shoulder shrug. No biggie.

Brooke (8:09)

No biggie. Meanwhile, you're checking your bank statement to make it doesn't bounce.

Bobby (8:15)

These things, These are investments.

Brooke (8:17)

Okay.

Jose (8:18)

You are investing, though, because you know she's going to think about little things like that.

Brooke (8:22)

Honestly, it's a gentleman thing to do.

Bobby (8:24)

Absolutely is.

Brooke (8:24)

So we're all impressed. Did it work on Tori?

Bobby (8:28)

If you had asked me in the moment, I was like, couldn't be better. I walked her home, we hugged, I gave her a peck on the cheek, said we'd talk, and then it turns out she gone. Me?

Jose (8:41)

Oh, no.

Brooke (8:42)

Yeah, the goner got gone.

Bobby (8:44)

She never hit me up.

Brooke (8:46)

How long did you wait before you contacted her after the date?

Bobby (8:49)

Well, I mean, like, according to the rules I live by and trying to be gone. So I was trying to be gone for a while.

Jeffrey (8:55)

Yeah, that's your answer right there.

Brooke (8:59)

You think she thought she got ghost?

Jeffrey (9:00)

I mean, yeah, if you don't hear from someone after a first date, you're not.

Brooke (9:04)

So maybe your rules are playing against you if you're sticking to them.

Bobby (9:07)

Yeah, but, like, after, like, four or five days, I just couldn't take it anymore. And I just started texting her, and I was absolutely desireful, not excellent. And I was present.

Brooke (9:18)

Oh, man.

Jose (9:19)

She broke you.

Brooke (9:20)

I feel you.

Brooke (9:21)

Steve would be so disappointed in your behavior.

Brooke (9:23)

When I tell myself I'm gonna eat healthy, and then, what do you know? A whole box of Oreos ends up in my mouth, you know?

Brooke (9:28)

And now you're reaching out to us, which I think breaks your first rule of, like, be desireless. Cause now you're asking a radio show to show how much you want to hang out.

Bobby (9:38)

Yeah, I mean, all the rules are out the window at this point. I want Tori so bad.

Brooke (9:42)

I want Tori so bad.

Brooke (9:44)

We're throwing every rule that we out the window when we come back and call Tori for you and try to get her to agree to abide by the towel of Bobby and give you one more chance with your second date update right after this. Hold on. Second date update. You know you're in a good place when you find yourself abandoning your entire belief system to score a date with a woman. I've abandoned my belief six times since I got to work today.

Bobby (10:10)

Oh, wow.

Brooke (10:11)

And it feels great.

Brooke (10:13)

I don't know if we could call a dating strategy your belief system. That seems a little dramatic.

Brooke (10:18)

Well, that's what Bobby says. He told us he used to live by a dating philosophy called the Tao of Steve, which, if you didn't hear, it's basically three rules about demonstrating your value while also not coming across as desperate or too available. Okay, so he stuck to those very strictly until he met Tori. Yeah, and said, screw it. Tori's way too hot. I need to know why she's not calling me back right now.

Brooke (10:41)

I mean, he lasted four days until he started incessantly texting her.

Brooke (10:44)

Exactly.

Jose (10:45)

Yeah.

Brooke (10:45)

With no response.

Brooke (10:46)

Now, Bobby, I'm assuming you don't want us to tell Tori about your mantra and the rules that you follow. Unless you already told her. Did you?

Bobby (10:53)

No, no, no. I didn't tell her my philosophy. Don't tell her my philosophy.

Jose (10:58)

That's part of it. You don't say it.

Jeffrey (10:59)

But also, don't you assume most singles out there try to do the same general thing. Play hard to get, not be too available. It's pretty common.

Brooke (11:07)

Be excellent.

Bobby (11:10)

This is my secret sauce. You can't tell them the secret sauce.

Brooke (11:14)

Hanging on to.

Brooke (11:14)

I think it's admirable. That is a plan, because mine is just drink a lot and hope for the best. So, Bobby, you're in a better spot than a lot of people, and we've.

Brooke (11:22)

All seen you after you drink a lot. It's not.

Brooke (11:25)

Peak sexuality is what I call it.

Jose (11:27)

She's a crier, too.

Brooke (11:28)

Yeah, well, that's exactly right.

Brooke (11:29)

Jose, let's call Tori. We'll see what she has to say. Why she's not calling you back? Hopefully she picks up and I'm dialing her number right now. Here we go.

Jose (11:36)

She may not even pick up for us. How hot is she?

Tori (11:46)

Hello?

Brooke (11:47)

Hey, we're looking to speak with Tori.

Tori (11:51)

Can I ask who's calling.

Brooke (11:52)

Yes, you can. We're a radio show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Jeffrey (11:55)

Hey, Tori.

Brooke (11:56)

The whole show's here.

Tori (11:57)

I'm. I'm sorry. What's going on?

Brooke (12:00)

We're doing a segment on our show called the Second Date Update, where we're trying to help out one of our listeners. Get in touch with you after you already went on one date with him.

Tori (12:10)

Is this like, some Internet thing or.

Brooke (12:13)

No, no, it's much more disgraceful. It's a radio thing.

Brooke (12:17)

Yeah, but it's also a podcast.

Brooke (12:18)

Focus on the radio part. That's the cool bit of this, because we're just trying to get some answers for Bobby about why you're not hanging out again or even talking to him at all.

Tori (12:28)

I mean, there was a date.

Brooke (12:31)

Okay. I mean, you could see it's probably pretty obvious that it's driving him nuts not knowing why you're not calling, because ye.

Tori (12:38)

I mean, it kind of just felt like I was on a date with someone who was giving attention to everyone and everything else except me.

Jose (12:47)

Oh, wait a minute.

Brooke (12:50)

Why do you say that?

Tori (12:51)

Even when we first got to the restaurant, we were waiting, and he offered to show some people that were lost away to the museum.

Jose (12:57)

But that's nice.

Tori (12:59)

Yeah, but I was starving, and we lost our reservation, so we had to wait another 30 minutes.

Jose (13:03)

No, because you were gone. Oh, I could see that happening, actually.

Brooke (13:07)

And I'm sorry. Not only that, if she's not. And heels. Like, it's not comfortable to walk. Okay, people to the.

Brooke (13:13)

So you don't value helping people. You value material things like food and shoes.

Brooke (13:18)

Don't come at her like that.

Brooke (13:20)

Oh, I'm trying to understand where your thought process is.

Tori (13:23)

I mean, it. That was just one part of the date. Like, even when we were inside, he would compliment the wait staff. But how dare he never once complimented me.

Brooke (13:33)

Oh, interesting.

Jose (13:34)

Oh, that's important.

Brooke (13:36)

Yeah.

Jose (13:37)

You're, like, the focus of the whole night.

Brooke (13:39)

Or at least I told the wait staff to compliment you if he wasn't gonna do it directly.

Jose (13:43)

You look so beautiful. Could you also relay that to her?

Bobby (13:45)

Yeah.

Brooke (13:46)

I can't believe he didn't compliment you, because, I mean, he gushed about you to us about how hot and lovely and nice you were. He never said anything like that to you?

Tori (13:56)

No. I mean, even when I was in the middle of a story, I was telling him about my vacation to Europe, and he got up in the middle of it and went and picked up a napkin somebody else dropped at another table.

Brooke (14:06)

Whoa.

Jose (14:08)

He's almost like it's gonna sound funny. He's almost, like, too nice of a guy.

Jeffrey (14:11)

He thinks she cares about things that she does. Think girls are oppressed by those things, not just listening to them, you know?

Tori (14:17)

Yeah. And like, even at the end, he held the door open for someone else and then went out behind them. Not holding the door for me.

Jose (14:24)

And didn't hold the door for you. What the heck?

Bobby (14:26)

Okay.

Jose (14:27)

Do you think he's nice to everyone but you?

Brooke (14:29)

Here's the thing. Obviously, he's a kind person. Do you think that he was just nervous and maybe that's why those things didn't happen for you?

Tori (14:37)

He didn't seem nervous and he was super nice, polite, talkative with everyone else.

Brooke (14:42)

Okay.

Brooke (14:43)

Okay.

Brooke (14:43)

But a lot of times guys don't want to, like, seem too desperate in front of a girl and won't say the thing that they're feeling because it'll make them seem, you know, beta, which.

Jose (14:54)

Which is a thing. That's so funny.

Brooke (14:56)

It's a complex that guys have, and.

Brooke (14:59)

That'S why they slam doors in their face.

Brooke (15:03)

But maybe he was just in his own head too much. And we should probably ask him about it because Bobby is waiting on the other line wanting to compliment you profusely.

Jose (15:12)

Let's hope.

Tori (15:13)

I'm sorry, what?

Brooke (15:15)

Yeah, he's. He's been listening to this call. Bobby, you there?

Bobby (15:19)

Hey.

Brooke (15:22)

Coming in hot. A little sheepish there, Bobby.

Brooke (15:26)

Anything you want to say to her?

Bobby (15:28)

Tori? You didn't like all those excellent things I did?

Brooke (15:32)

That is not the response set you up there.

Tori (15:35)

I mean, what was the point of me being there if you weren't going to give any attention or participate in the date at all?

Bobby (15:41)

I mean, you didn't really give me a lot of attention after the date. You know, I gave you a lot of texts and calls and stuff.

Tori (15:49)

Why would I do that? Give attention to someone who clearly didn't have the time of day for me?

Bobby (15:56)

No, that's. That's really. That's. Tori, that's not it. Okay, so basically.

Brooke (16:04)

Bobby, wait, wait, hold on. Are you sure you want to do this? Yeah.

Brooke (16:07)

Wouldn't it be easier to just, like.

Brooke (16:09)

Apologize and compliment her?

Bobby (16:11)

Yeah, but, like, you guys want me to lie there? I don't want to lie there. I gotta be honest.

Brooke (16:17)

We said compliment her. Okay, that's a lie.

Brooke (16:21)

Go for it then.

Jose (16:21)

But if you want to clear your chest, man, then go for it.

Tori (16:25)

Bobby, what do you have to tell me? Like, can you hurry up? I've got things to do.

Bobby (16:29)

Okay, okay. So, like, I live by these. These philosophical rules, all of which you don't really need to know about, but basically, like, I was. I was trying to demonstrate value and be excellent for you to other people. You know, maybe it came off as like, I didn't care about you, but I was, like, trying to do these things to show you what I'm capable of, like, my potential and stuff.

Jose (16:54)

I can pick up a napkin so fast.

Brooke (16:56)

Yes.

Bobby (16:56)

Yeah, exactly. I can pick up a napkin so fast.

Tori (17:01)

I don't even know what you're talking about right now. Like, all you have to do is ask me questions, listen, and compliment.

Brooke (17:07)

That is a lot to ask for. Yeah, that is.

Brooke (17:11)

The thing is, complimenting kind of goes against the philosophy that he believes in. So.

Brooke (17:16)

No, that would be part of being excellent.

Brooke (17:19)

No, it'd be breaking desireless. But.

Brooke (17:21)

Yeah, but you do that. He said after the first date. See, this is the whole thing with rules. Like, they get so complicated. Why don't you just be a normal human and have a good conversation?

Brooke (17:29)

Yeah, let's get rid of laws, too.

Brooke (17:31)

What? Jeff, that doesn't.

Jose (17:35)

No structure.

Bobby (17:36)

I think I know what she's talking about. I think she just doesn't like people who do good things.

Brooke (17:42)

Here's the question, Tori. If he would have done those things for the other people and also listened and complimented you and asked you questions, wow, how would you have felt?

Tori (17:54)

I mean, it would have been better, but I'm not sure why he needed to focus on everything else except our date.

Bobby (18:01)

Yeah, like, I can't. I can't do all those things. I was already tired doing the other stuff.

Jose (18:07)

It's a lot, man.

Brooke (18:09)

So it's one or the other for you.

Jose (18:10)

You're either fully thinking, strategizing, or. Or you're doing nothing.

Brooke (18:14)

He's not a multitasker.

Bobby (18:15)

Yeah, like, I'm sorry for being excellent.

Brooke (18:20)

That's not the apology that she was.

Brooke (18:22)

Really should have stepped in before that. But the one thing that he is focused on right now, Tori, his only focus is getting another date with you. That is why he reached out to a radio show to get a hold of you and arrange a second meetup. And we would pay for it if you're willing to give him a second chance.

Tori (18:40)

I think I'm good. I don't want to be with someone who just likes to grandstand.

Brooke (18:45)

But remember, Bobby's not good. He's excellent. So you could level up Zachary.

Brooke (18:49)

I mean, now he knows, right? Like, now the expectations of what you're looking for out there. Like, you might as well. Give him a chance to make that happen. Don't you think?

Bobby (18:57)

Yeah, I'm listening. Now, look, you're. You're hot. And I'll. I'll pick up your napkin like you want me to ask you questions. What are you doing next Friday? Let's get dinner.

Brooke (19:08)

That was actually the smoothest thing he's ever done.

Brooke (19:10)

Yeah, Tori, what do you think?

Tori (19:13)

I'm gonna pass.

Brooke (19:15)

We did our best.

Tori (19:17)

Honestly, he just. He came on way too strong at the end and acted just like a simp.

Brooke (19:22)

Oh, simp behavior.

Jose (19:24)

That's what he's trying to avoid.

Brooke (19:26)

Oh, Bobby, there's no running. You're back to square one.

Bobby (19:30)

Dude, these rules just, like, don't work for some people. Like, I'm desireless. Doesn't work. I'm desireful. It doesn't work. I'm excellent. I'm too excellent. I'm gone. I'm too gone.

Brooke (19:40)

Yeah. Welcome to dating women, buddy. It's gonna be a long road for you.

Jeffrey (19:44)

Nobody said too excellent but yourself.

Brooke (19:46)

Look at Jeffrey in the morning. You know, after thousands of second date calls, I'm starting to notice a trend.

Jose (19:54)

What's that?

Brooke (19:54)

Sometimes men don't listen. Very good.

Brooke (19:59)

Wait, are you just now hearing that?

Brooke (20:01)

Yeah, I'm like thousands. I don't know if anybody' saw this, but even when guys get her, like, beating over the head with good information, sometimes it just doesn't register for guys. Weird.

Jose (20:12)

Also, sometimes information doesn't register.

Brooke (20:15)

Yeah, I just, like, it's hard to sometimes change, right?

Brooke (20:18)

What?

Brooke (20:19)

This guy.

Brooke (20:20)

Sorry, what were you saying?

Brooke (20:22)

This guy was so, like, stuck on his plan that when it was the problem, he couldn't, like, he couldn't shift, he couldn't pivot.

Brooke (20:30)

What is Brooke saying, Jose?

Jose (20:31)

I don't know. I'm not repeating the words.

Brooke (20:34)

The thing is, next time you get angry at a man for not listening, maybe turn your attention to God for making us that way.

Brooke (20:40)

Oh, it's.

Jose (20:41)

It's.

Brooke (20:41)

I see.

Jose (20:42)

It's.

Brooke (20:42)

It's God's fault.

Brooke (20:43)

Yep. Thanks a lot, God.

Brooke (20:44)

God's fault put us in a bad.

Brooke (20:46)

Spot over here, but we can put you into a good spot in your dating life. If you want some help with that, at least we'll try. Email the show, we'll call that person who's not calling you back, and two.

Brooke (20:55)

Out of the four of us will actually hear what you said.

Brooke (20:57)

Maybe on a good day.

Jose (20:58)

I'm just happy to be here.

Brooke (20:59)

Go check out all of our second day podcasts wherever you get yours at.

Brooke (21:02)

Brooke and Jeff, Jeffrey Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

H (21:07)

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Jeffrey (22:46)

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H (23:17)

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