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Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Research with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy.
Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Bowen Yang
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Bowen Yang
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Brooke
It's Monday and we are feeling it here.
Jeffrey
But yeah, capital M and O today.
Brooke
But we're gonna get through it together with a brand new episode for your second date podcast, you have found the official Brooke and Jeffrey podcast. Thank you so much for subscribing. Before we get to it, Comments Alexis
Anna
yes, someone left a little story on there. Meet cute with their now husband, I guess.
Brooke
Okay, that's fun.
Anna
HKS24CM.
Janae
I don't know.
Brooke
Said it. It's a good username. Yeah.
Anna
I have known my husband since we were neighbors at 14. I never thought he was attractive until we were 36.
Jeffrey
Whoa.
Anna
And I saw him with my kids and I saw his heart and I fell madly in love with him. Now I think he's the sexiest man alive. And after 10 years of marriage, he still gives me butterflies.
Brooke
Aw.
Host Jeffrey
See Brooke, your weird neighbor.
Jeffrey
You guys still have a chance to get along.
Anna
Anna says, jose, you are a cut.
Jeffrey
Well, now we know their gauge on. Never mind.
Brooke
Can you imagine? I hope you don't tell your husband that I never thought you were hot. Yeah, 36 years old.
Jeffrey
Yeah, but that's how you pick up one of the kids after they fell down.
Anna
You took my kid. I got to take a nap.
Brooke
And you looked a lot better. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. All right, there's the bar I love it. Your brand new episode starts right now. Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Second date update.
Host Jeffrey
When you're on a date with someone, what could stand out about them that turns you on, other than, obviously, their looks? Like, what could put that spark in you? Maybe, like a sexy laugh.
Brooke
Oh, that's always good.
Host Jeffrey
Or just a nice voice, an intoxicating cologne.
Brooke
Good eye contact, but not too much.
Host Jeffrey
An extra tooth that isn't growing out of their mouth.
Brooke
Where is it coming out of?
Host Jeffrey
Oh, don't you want to know?
Brooke
I. I don't know that I do.
Host Jeffrey
I'm just bringing it up because one of our listeners said his date got him going with something other than physical attractiveness.
Brooke
Okay, I think that tooth actually counts as physical attractiveness.
Host Jeffrey
Oh, that's a good point. But for him, apparently, it was her brain.
Brooke
Oh, I love that.
Host Jeffrey
Cory, I'll be honest, you lost me. But I don't know what you're talking about. You liked her brain.
Corey
I know, I know. It's. I was a younger man once, and it was all about the looks and stuff, but this time, man, it was the brain that won me over. I meant I met a girl named Janae on the dating app.
Host Jeffrey
Okay, okay, I'm going to try to put my ick aside to listen to what you're saying, but go ahead.
Brooke
I know you're being sarcastic, but it went too far just then.
Host Jeffrey
Okay, you don't get to see my extra tooth now, Brooke.
Brooke
Yeah, you lose.
Host Jeffrey
Sorry. Keep going, Corey. So you said.
Corey
I read her profile and immediately noticed that it was exceptionally well written. Everything she put on there was well thought out, so it wasn't just brevity, you know, there was weight to every word.
Brooke
Okay, all right, well, cool.
Host Jeffrey
Whatever brevity means.
Brooke
How do you hit on a smartie, huh? How did you guys spark a conversation?
Corey
I told her, I'm only pursuing you on ear because I think you're deep and really smart.
Host Jeffrey
Wow. Wait, you said that based off of her bio?
Brooke
Okay, and she liked it, obviously. Cuz she. She hit you back and said thumbs up. You're right.
Corey
Yeah. Now, she. She gave me. She gave me devil horns, and I knew it was a go. Oh.
Jeffrey
Oh, devil horns.
Corey
No, no, I'm kidding.
Jeffrey
You are kidding. Okay, that's a crazy response.
Host Jeffrey
I'm not sure I understand, but clearly there is some chemistry happening.
Janae
It worked. Yeah. Yeah.
Corey
It wasn't perfunctory stuff. We didn't just talk about my family, my hobbies, my job, you know, it was. We talked about the stock market. You Know we're both into trading.
Brooke
Okay. Alexis just fell asleep.
Corey
Okay, so supposed army of, you know, automatons that should be dominating the world stage within a few years, right?
Host Jeffrey
Yeah, totally. Corey
Corey
turned on as I've been in the past.
Host Jeffrey
Okay, so let me just ask real quick. Are you on drugs? Cory? Is that what's happening?
Jeffrey
Can you hear us, bro?
Host Jeffrey
Like, I feel like we're asking questions and you're not answering.
Corey
Yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I am on a drug right now. I'm on a high call, but maybe having met the right person.
Brooke
Oh, that's sweet.
Host Jeffrey
So he sounds big.
Brooke
Where did you guys go? What did you do?
Corey
Well, we, we went out to dinner at a little tapas place.
Janae
Ooh.
Brooke
Tapas is for smart people.
Corey
And that's a good point. But I told her, I told her straight out, you're real smarty pants. I was flirting with her, and she said this is how she came back, right? Oh, I don't know about that. But I do know how to correctly use a semicolon. And we high five at that point.
Jeffrey
That is actually a good thing.
Anna
It's working.
Brooke
Whatever you guys have happening, that is
Host Jeffrey
the weirdest flirt I've ever heard.
Brooke
But they high five over that.
Host Jeffrey
She bragged that she knew how to use a semicolon properly, but it wasn't a joke.
Janae
She really did.
Corey
And that is the bane of my existence. Some people don't even use it, much less know how to use it to
Jeffrey
help you and to defend you. I remember one time years ago, I use a semicolon on Tinder, and a girl literally said, is it weird that the semicolon made you more attractive, or
Brooke
does it just make you look old? Like those gen zers? They're not using any punctuation.
Anna
Don't even capitalize. Don't even capitalize.
Host Jeffrey
If grammar is the hot thing that got you two going together, then look good on you.
Jeffrey
No judgment over healing.
Host Jeffrey
Seriously. So, I mean, I don't even really want any more details from the date. Just tell us how it ends.
Corey
Yeah, long story short, I walked her back to her car and I told her how impressed I was with her as a person that I was. No, I was jazzed, man. And it was different spending time with her compared to anyone else I've ever been on date.
Brooke
What'd she say to that compliment?
Corey
She said, well, maybe we should end the date differently. She said, well, instead of a kiss, let's whisper our credit scores in each other's ears.
Jeffrey
Oh, whisper. I like her. This is funny. You want everyone to know you're okay.
Brooke
Wait, that was a joke?
Host Jeffrey
Like a flirtatious joke?
Brooke
I think it's a joke with them.
Jeffrey
I don't think it is either.
Corey
I have never owed anybody anything, and my credit score has been my point of pride since the day I got my first credit card.
Brooke
Okay, so you didn't even need to go back to her place. This was as much action as. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Corey
If I smoked, I would have had to light up a cigarette after that.
Host Jeffrey
Okay, all right, so wait, did you actually do that and whisper each other's credit scores into your ears?
Corey
I did. And, you know, while mine was a few points ahead of hers, hers was still well above the mean score.
Host Jeffrey
Okay, okay.
Brooke
Wow.
Host Jeffrey
And so what happened since that hot credit score conversation when you left the date?
Corey
Therein lies the problem. I thought for sure we'd have another date. And she is not texting, texting me back. I think I've texted twice and called once.
Brooke
Okay, okay, Wait, wait. Did you double check your text? Do you have any misspellings or typos,
Host Jeffrey
or is it possible that she saw you on the FBI's top 10 watch list?
Corey
There was not a single A lot lumped together as one word.
Brooke
Okay, okay, okay.
Jeffrey
Good grammar, chromatic space. That was a hot joke, brother.
Host Jeffrey
Some way avoiding the question.
Brooke
No, I don't think that was a joke. I think he's being serious. Yeah, you don't want to put that a next to that lot.
Host Jeffrey
Yes, well, we have a lot to go off of. Thank you for that, Corey. And when we come back, we will attempt to do our very best to not disappoint you grammatically when we call. What was her name? I've already forgotten. Janae.
Corey
Janae.
Host Jeffrey
We will call beautiful, big brained Janae when we reach out and ask her to go out with you one more time right after this.
Brooke
Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Second date update.
Host Jeffrey
You meet a lot of characters when doing this segment. And in the past, we've had people like Mattman.
Anna
Yeah.
Host Jeffrey
Roofer. And now Semicolon Corey.
Brooke
Yeah, that's right.
Host Jeffrey
Who went on a date with a woman named Janae. That tickled him grammatically and cognitively. He had quite a lot to say about it. Almost 40% of it we understood. But what was very clear is he was extremely turned on intellectually by Janae, which is awesome.
Brooke
We don't hear that enough. And I. And we all liked that.
Host Jeffrey
And he's been very disappointed that she's not texting him back. I'm assuming the restraining order has kicked in, but we don't know that for sure. Just tossing it out is a possibility.
Jeffrey
Well, he doesn't know either, then, if that's the case.
Host Jeffrey
Well, have you visited her at her work unannounced yet?
Jeffrey
Corey? Oh, my God.
Brooke
We're not encouraging that.
Host Jeffrey
I'm just. I'm just asking.
Corey
Yeah, if I knew what department she worked in, then I would have given some thought to that.
Host Jeffrey
I guess it's a joke.
Brooke
She's an intellectual. Maybe she doesn't like the texting. Maybe she wanted a handwritten letter.
Host Jeffrey
Yeah, it's like those romance novels where, like, the princess high in her tower doesn't want a prince, she wants the stable boy. Yeah, you know, the someone that's on a much lower level intellectual.
Brooke
I only understood 30 of what you
Jeffrey
just said, and there was a lot of rubbing going.
Host Jeffrey
Listen, we're losing brain cells by the second here, so we have to dial her number as soon as possible. Corey, you good with that or. Sorry? Corey, are you okay with that? I don't want to disappoint you, grammatically.
Jeffrey
Oh, yeah. Are you good?
Corey
He's not, technically.
Host Jeffrey
I know that was bad.
Corey
Yes, I'm okay with that. Thank you.
Jeffrey
All right, that's informal.
Host Jeffrey
For him, that was. Let's just do it. I'm gonna dial Janae's number right now.
Janae
Hello?
Host Jeffrey
Hey, is this Janae?
Janae
Yes.
Brooke
Oh, man. I'm betting 100% she has no idea who we are.
Host Jeffrey
Yeah, let's just give it a try, though. Janae, have you ever heard of a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning?
Janae
Oh, what?
Brooke
Yeah, that's a no.
Host Jeffrey
Brooke called it. Yeah, and that's totally fine, but we're a show, and we do this thing called the Second Date Update.
Brooke
You just need to explain. You need to pause for record.
Host Jeffrey
I'm just. Yeah, we're just going to cut right to it. So, listen, we try to help out listeners who have gone out on a date with somebody, and afterwards they're not getting a call back. So we heard that not too long ago, you went out with a guy named Corey.
Janae
Wow.
Brooke
I don't know. I mean, it's probably be really hard to forget Corey.
Host Jeffrey
I would guess he made quite an impression on us.
Janae
Yeah, I just. I mean. Well, did he tell you how it went, or.
Brooke
He told us so much.
Host Jeffrey
We got the gist that he very much enjoyed being in your company.
Brooke
Dude. And was incredibly impressed with who you are as a human.
Host Jeffrey
Yeah, there's a lot of, like, intellectual flirting going on.
Brooke
Between the two of you, how was the date?
Janae
I mean, it was fine. We definitely connected. But when it comes down to it, I've got to look at the bottom line. And I didn't tell him this, but he's in business management, and he has a side job where he does graphic design.
Brooke
Yeah, that's usually an intellectual's job, but
Host Jeffrey
the fact that you can juggle, too.
Janae
Sure, but let's think about the follow through. I've done my research, and I can tell you that AI is going to make his jobs obsolete in about two years.
Brooke
Oh, let's hope not.
Jeffrey
You're looking ahead.
Brooke
Depressing.
Janae
Oh, yes, of course. Why would I date without planning ahead? What's the point of acquisition if not.
Jeffrey
I didn't think. Is that what all girls think nowadays?
Host Jeffrey
Call it an acquisition. The idea of dating are gonna go away.
Jeffrey
It's not a bad thing to F you guys.
Brooke
Everyone needs to take a deep breath. Including Jana. Like you don't know how. You don't know how every industry is going to be affected. I mean, we just talked about a story recently where there was some AI slop instead of graphic design, and it made the business turn more into human designers because it was so bad.
Host Jeffrey
She's calling your research bs.
Janae
I mean, I'm not basing this on astrology or vibes. This is logical thought here.
Brooke
Yeah, but you're not giving him a chance to pivot. Like, move with the changes. I mean, be flexible.
Janae
Yeah, if he's not aware of this impending disaster about to unfold for him, then that's alarming when it comes to his intelligence.
Host Jeffrey
Oh, wow.
Sean Duffy
Okay.
Host Jeffrey
Well, listen, if he wasn't aware before, he definitely is aware now. Because we need to let you know, Janae, that Corey's been on the other line of this phone call, listening, waiting to talk to you.
Brooke
You.
Janae
You wouldn't do that to me. That's so awful.
Brooke
But think of it, Janae. You think it's news he needs to hear. So it's not bad that you told him.
Host Jeffrey
I always heard it. Corey, you there?
Corey
Yeah.
Janae
Oh, my God, I'm here. I'm sorry you had to hear that, Corey. This is very awkward.
Corey
Yeah, I. I don't know if I'm more offended by what a crass human being she's turned out to be. Or she is on. On. On all counts. Wow.
Brooke
What makes her crass, Corey? Why is she crass?
Corey
I mean, most people don't just flat out tell you that you're going to lose your job in two years, so you're not even worth investing in now, despite any emotional connection we might have or anything. I mean, that is just so.
Jeffrey
It's kind of jarring.
Host Jeffrey
Just so cold, and I like.
Brooke
Yeah, she didn't know you were on the phone, Corey. Remember that?
Janae
And may I just say, now that you know we're both listening, crass is quite a level of insult for one syllable, and I'd like to raise the stakes and say you're being rather immature about this.
Corey
Whoa, whoa.
Host Jeffrey
Three syllables, immature.
Corey
But respectfully, the word immature is rather pedestrian and overused.
Host Jeffrey
Oh, he brings up a good point, I think.
Janae
I thought maybe I should simplify my point here, but. Listen to yourself. Listen to what you're saying. I need to tell you you're going to get laid off.
Corey
Oh, if that happens, I'll shrug my shoulders. I bought Bitcoin 20 years ago, and I haven't sold it.
Jeffrey
Oh, he's holding bitcoin.
Corey
I work because I love working.
Brooke
Why does anyone who brags about their bitcoin makes me believe that it's not actually true? Like, it's just such a weird thing
Anna
to mention right now.
Jeffrey
What a coincidence.
Janae
I mean, having the intelligence to buy it 20 years ago is one thing, but let me tell you, it's crazy to depend on such an unstable market.
Jeffrey
True.
Corey
Bitcoin, as of this morning, trades at $66,000 a coin. I started buying them when they were less than 20 a coin.
Brooke
Okay, we're not going to argue Bitcoin like that one. I am bored. She's obviously not interested in you because of your money, Corey. That was the whole point. Like, there was, like, something deeper there. And you're missing that with her, right?
Janae
Yeah. I mean, and when it comes to fake money, I've got a few different versions of Monopoly at home. You know, add up all those, bill.
Corey
Well, then I must be a magician, because I can pull this trick where I put sell and then withdraw funds, and real money appears in my account.
Brooke
Okay?
Host Jeffrey
Whoa.
Corey
Do you like magicians? Do they turn you on?
Host Jeffrey
Because I guess I am one.
Jeffrey
Well, Brock, maybe we do not need
Brooke
to bring magicians into this, okay? My grandfather was a magician.
Host Jeffrey
He's a respectable man.
Brooke
That's right.
Jeffrey
Yeah, yeah.
Janae
Listen, I'm just gonna call it like I see it. And your defensiveness is a clear indicator of your insecurity.
Corey
Ok, that wound's coming from someone who reads crystals for a living. A grown up genuinely believes she can predict the future.
Brooke
Wait, okay, wait. Janae, do you own a gem shop or something? Is that what's happening here?
Janae
No, I'm a gemologist. There's a lot of big transactions that go down behind the scenes of a crystal shop.
Jeffrey
I can't wait till it hits the gem world. You're going to be really affected.
Brooke
I went to this crystal shop in Palm Springs. It was so great.
Jeffrey
Oh, wow. Probably hurt.
Brooke
You guys should follow this guy on Instagram, okay? He's incredible.
Host Jeffrey
Apparently, we're not talking about Bitcoin, but we are willing to delve into crystals.
Brooke
It's a little more interesting.
Host Jeffrey
Yeah, okay. Much deeper. There's a lot of insults and projections being thrown out there, but I want to just bring us back to, like, the emotional connection that I thought you two had on your date.
Brooke
It sounded like quartz. I think that's a healing crystal.
Host Jeffrey
No, I want to leave the crystals in the crystal store. Let's just get to offering. We would like to send the two of you out on another date, and if you're willing to do that, we would now.
Corey
No, I. I don't think so. Guys, Jana, lay lines and mine don't quite correspond. Okay.
Jeffrey
Are you guys hippies or are you smart? I can't tell.
Brooke
You can be both.
Host Jeffrey
All right, well, Corey, you've. You've rescinded your invitation to Jana. So, Jana, I'm sorry you lost your chance with Corey.
Janae
That's perfectly fine. I was not interested anymore.
Brooke
You know what? This is one time. I'm glad you guys aren't going out again. Yeah.
Host Jeffrey
I am curious, though, Janae, do you have any AI predictions about what's going to happen in the radio industry? Because we could really use that information.
Janae
You know, I have to get going. It turns out.
Jeffrey
Okay, we're gonna take it as resurgence.
Janae
All right. Yeah, you'll be fine. Most likely.
Brooke
I'm sure she's like, using air quotes. Yeah. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US and that's for household names like skims, you know, Kim Kardashian's brand, or Heinz Mattel even. And if that's you, then let Shopify help. You can get started with your own design studio that has hundreds of ready to use templates. And then Shopify will help you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. They've even gotten your back in terms of a marketing team fully behind you. You can easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Get that walking. And best yet, Shopify is your Commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing invent to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. See less carts go abandoned and more sales go with Shopify and their shop pay button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com brooke that's B R O-O-K E. So again it's shopify.com brook that's shopify.com brook this is Bowen
Bowen Yang
Yang from Lost Culture Research with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy.
Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
It's just for life. With the wide variety of flavors from
Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Host Jeffrey
That's amazing that we started off that segment with so much hope.
Brooke
Yeah, I thought we were gonna match him with the one. Yeah, me too.
Host Jeffrey
And then somehow ended with so much disaster.
Brooke
Oh my. Yes.
Host Jeffrey
I mean, the only regret that I have is, man, if they both would have said yes to a second date and things went well. Yeah, Just think about how ugly that divorce could have been. Oh, it would have made headlines.
Jeffrey
Oh my God.
Brooke
That's a dark thought.
Host Jeffrey
Yeah, but entertaining. Crystal shop owner versus semicolon Corey trading blows back and forth.
Jeffrey
Would she get half of his bitcoin?
Host Jeffrey
Definitely. She would come away with the full thing.
Brooke
I don't think she wants any of his bitcoin.
Host Jeffrey
I'm just sad that we couldn't contribute even more entertainment to society with the separation of the century.
Brooke
I just, I really don't need them anymore. That was enough. I had my dose and I'm good.
Host Jeffrey
It's true. But you know, at least we got to hear a snippet of it here for free.
Brooke
Oh, there you go.
Host Jeffrey
And you can hear more of it up on our podcast. You know where to go oh, you don't. You disgust me.
Brooke
You're never allowed to talk to that guy Corey again. Tell him where to go.
Jeffrey
Brooke.
Brooke
Go find Brooke and Jeffrey on Spotify or YouTube or anywhere you get your
Host Jeffrey
podcast, you despicable human being.
Jeffrey
My gosh.
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Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Research with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy.
Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make.
Bowen Yang
It's not just for fitness. It's for getting after life. The 30 grams of protein gives you the fuel you need. It's not just for intense gym sessions.
Matt Rogers
It's just for life. With the wide variety of flavors, from
Bowen Yang
cafe latte to cake batter, it never feels boring.
Matt Rogers
There's a flavor for everyone.
Bowen Yang
I personally love the peaches and cream,
Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Matt Rogers
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Bowen Yang
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Kel Penn
Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode I nerd out out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Podcast: Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Episode Date: June 8, 2026
This episode of "Second Date Update" features a uniquely cerebral connection—and an equally dramatic disconnect—between Corey ("Semicolon Corey"), a detail-oriented business manager with a self-professed passion for "good grammar," and Janae, a gemologist with strong opinions and a keen eye for the future. The show’s hosts, Brooke and Jeffrey, help Corey find out why his promising first date with Janae fizzled, digging into topics like intellectual attraction, AI, credit scores, and even Bitcoin.
The hosts maintain their signature blend of teasing, sarcasm, and genuine curiosity, responding to Corey and Janae’s quirks with playful banter and occasional disbelief. The tone is light, irreverent, and at times snarky, especially as the date’s intellectual sparring devolves into a cold, logical debate on job prospects, money, and relationship calculus.
This Second Date Update showcases how intellectual chemistry can spark attraction but also amplify irreconcilable differences—especially when future prospects, money, and ego become part of the post-date equation. Both Corey and Janae remain committed to their worldviews, and neither is willing to yield ground, leading to a mutual (and memorably awkward) “no thanks” to a second date.
For more hilarious and disastrous second dates, check out Brooke and Jeffrey’s full episodes on your favorite podcast platform!