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Brooke
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Julian
It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Welcome to the second date update.
Tess
Yeah, I could still be asleep right now, like the irl.
Julian
Well, you know, it is the weekend, and on the weekends we just give you a little treat, okay? Sit back for a little drama, a little fun, maybe some laughter. It's all part of your second date update, starting right now.
Advertiser 4
Second date update. You know, normally whenever we have listeners on this segment, we have them start at the beginning of their date and tell us the full story.
Julian
That's usually how stories work, Jeff.
Advertiser 4
Well, today we might need to start at the end because our listener Julian thinks the reason he might not be getting a call back is because of his text game after they met up. Or lack of text game. I don't know. We need to bring Julian on to figure out what's happening. Julian, welcome to the show, man.
Listener
Hey, what's going on? How you guys doing?
Julian
It's like, if your game is that bad, how'd you get a date in the first place? I mean, wow. You have to have somewhat good text game to even secure the first date.
Advertiser 4
Yeah, welcome to the show, Julian, where you're gonna get berated before we hear anything about what you text.
Julian
Yeah, I'm telling him that, like, it can't be as bad as he thinks.
Tess
What's different with your pre Riz and your pro day Riz?
Julian
I like that. Jose.
Advertiser 4
What happened?
Listener
Well, I went out with Tess.
Julian
Like, Tess? Is that what you said her name was?
Listener
Right? Yeah.
Julian
Okay, okay.
Advertiser 4
We don't. Brooke and Jose and Alexis, they don't know anything about the date or the woman that you went out with.
Listener
Got me terrified.
Advertiser 4
No, you're good.
Julian
I've been there when I've doubted myself. Okay, wait, I thought you were Jose.
Advertiser 4
So her name was Tess. And what happened after your date?
Listener
I don't know how you guys feel about this, but after our date was over, I sent her four texts.
Julian
Four texts. Okay.
Listener
Yeah. And she didn't respond to any of them.
Julian
Oh, maybe did you text like my best friend does when she goes like, hi, next text. What? Next text are.
Tess
Text when it's one sentence.
Listener
Listen. It was across like six days.
Julian
Oh.
Advertiser 4
Oh, okay, got it. We're assuming it was that night as soon as she left.
Julian
I don't think that's bad.
Tess
What did she say? Back.
Advertiser 4
Well, she didn't. She. What he was saying.
Tess
Now, that's the problem.
Listener
You know, I. I'd reach out, I get no answer. I'd wait a day, and I'd check in again.
Julian
Okay.
Listener
She was doing, you know.
Advertiser 4
Okay.
Julian
Why are you blaming yourself for a bad text game?
Advertiser 4
I don't know.
Listener
Like, I told my guy friends, and they were all like, dude, you're spamming her.
Advertiser 4
Spamming.
Tess
I mean, spamming is worse, but you're not getting a response back, so kind.
Julian
Of, I feel like you're just not giving up. And I don't think that that's necessarily a bad thing.
Tess
But if a girl wants you to.
Julian
Give up, I'm trying to be on his side.
Tess
She may be like, take the hint, and you're, like, putting yourself out there.
Advertiser 4
How do you feel about it?
Listener
Well, honestly, I'm not spamming her. It's like, these are all a day apart or two. Two days per text.
Advertiser 4
Okay, but your guy friends disagree, right?
Listener
They were like, no. It comes off desperate because it basically tells her that I have nothing else going on in my life.
Advertiser 4
Okay.
Julian
Each text says, I mean, well, it.
Advertiser 1
Is like, are you free? Are you free today?
Tess
Then you're really thirsty.
Advertiser 4
And do they have a point? Do you have nothing else going on in your life?
Tess
Yeah, be honest.
Listener
No, they have a point. I don't think it's bad. Like, showing that I like her and want to talk to her.
Julian
Okay, well, what did you like about her? On the date?
Advertiser 4
Yeah, let's talk about the actual date. Like, what did you guys do and get into that story?
Listener
We met online, and, you know, we met up at this little Mexican restaurant, and it looked so good.
Julian
Oh, that's cute.
Listener
So, you know, I told the hostess that it was our anniversary.
Julian
Whoa. Oh, wait. What? Why wouldn't you go with, like, her birthday or something?
Listener
You know, technically, it's our anniversary of our first date.
Advertiser 4
Well, okay, he does have a point.
Julian
This feels like so much. So I would be 0 of their anniversary. I would be running for the door. I'd be so freaked out already.
Advertiser 4
No, you wouldn't. As long as there's free dessert, bro, you're running straight for that, too.
Julian
Well, maybe it's that fried ice cream. I do love that when a kid's.
Tess
Born, it's their birthday. So technically, he's right. Like, it's their first day, and we're.
Advertiser 4
All judging about it. What did Tess think?
Listener
Well, you know, when the. The dessert, you know, was nice flan, which is pretty cool. The waiter kind of mentioned it, but it didn't become an issue.
Tess
Oh, okay. They didn't come out like, you know what I mean?
Advertiser 4
Maybe they thought that you guys were just a really cute special couple. And that's what she thought.
Julian
So wait, so she didn't hear you tell them that it was your anniversary?
Listener
Oh, no, no.
Tess
Okay, when you made the reservation. God.
Advertiser 4
All right, that doesn't sound too bad.
Listener
Yeah, she might have thought that they've given to us by mistake.
Julian
Oh, right.
Tess
She doesn't know.
Advertiser 4
So how did the date end?
Listener
Well, since she ubered there, offered to drive her back home. Yeah, right after we leave the restaurant, she's like, omg, is that a Ross dress for less? I love that store.
Julian
She loves a Ross lady who loves a bargain go wrong there. So what do you say, girl? I'll buy you anything in Ross. What do you. What do you want?
Listener
Well, she's like, oh, let's go in. They have the best deals. It was kind of weird.
Advertiser 4
Okay.
Tess
But hey, she wants to hang out still. That's good.
Julian
I just want to shop.
Listener
Yeah, I was a little confused, honestly. But it was fine because I went in and got a jacket.
Advertiser 4
So you got something out of it.
Julian
Cute. Did she like the way you looked in it?
Listener
Yeah, she said it was neat.
Advertiser 4
That's what Brooke says to her son. Yeah, that's a neat little hat you got on there.
Julian
After he draws like a poop picture. Well, honey, that's me. All right, that is a weird compliment.
Advertiser 4
And then you drove her home?
Listener
Actually, she kind of decided to get an Uber instead of me driving her home.
Julian
Huh. Oh, why do you think that is?
Tess
Whoa.
Advertiser 4
I don't know.
Listener
Maybe she needed to go somewhere else before she went home. I don't know.
Tess
Was there like a shift in vibe at Ross? Did something happen?
Julian
Was the neat jacket too neat?
Tess
Did you two fight over the same jacket?
Advertiser 4
Or there's a TJ Maxx right next door and she's like, oh, gotta get my Max and Nista.
Advertiser 1
It's actually an upgrade.
Julian
Yeah, yeah, I'm with Alexis.
Listener
Okay, you know what? I wish I knew.
Advertiser 4
Okay, well then we got some stuff to work with. Your friends think you might be spamming her too much with those four consecutive texts without any response.
Julian
Or she found a HomeGoods down the street. Cuz those stores, you just never get it, you know?
Advertiser 4
Sure.
Julian
Dude, home goods is so good. Yeah, for real. She could be in the candle section.
Advertiser 1
Brooke still?
Advertiser 4
Maybe she's at Michael's arts and crafts. We don't know. Let's Call tests and see what she has to say about the date, and then we'll try and get your second date update right after this. Hold on. Second date update? If you're just joining us, we're on the phone with Julian, whose first date had more red flags than China's annual military parade.
Julian
That seems extreme. Yeah, okay, I'm just.
Advertiser 4
I'm kidding. But there were a few odd moments from the night he stretched the truth to the restaurant hostess, saying it was their anniversary.
Julian
But he didn't say it in front of her, which is good.
Advertiser 4
They took a detour at one point to Ross Dress for Less.
Julian
Oh, I love.
Advertiser 4
Which wasn't his idea. It was his date Tess's plan.
Julian
Yeah, he got a cute jacket out of the deal.
Advertiser 4
But the weirdest part was he offered her a ride home, and she said yes, but then later changed her mind and was like, you know what? I'm just going to Uber myself back. Never mind.
Julian
You're going to bring up the fact that she said his jacket looked neat.
Advertiser 4
That, you know, that's not good either. On top of all that, his buddies say he's playing the after the date game the wrong way by sending four consecutive texts with no response, even though it was across multiple days.
Julian
Who is on this poor man's side right now?
Advertiser 4
Are any of these the reason that Tess is ghosting? We don't know, but let's hope it's.
Advertiser 1
Only one of them.
Tess
There's another reason.
Advertiser 4
Sorry to recap your date like that, Julian, but do you feel like it was pretty accurate?
Listener
Yeah.
Advertiser 3
Yeah.
Julian
He says, unfortunately, that's where you're at.
Tess
If anything, you can take out of this what not to do. If everyone says, don't do this, and she confirms it, at least you'll know you're doing too much.
Julian
Maybe you'll find out that it's none of that. And they're all wrong. You were right, Julian. She just been busy, that's all.
Tess
There you go.
Listener
Right? Life happens.
Tess
That is very true.
Advertiser 4
Yeah.
Julian
Come on, Jeff.
Advertiser 4
I'm sure we're not going to learn about a whole bunch of other red flags that came up we didn't even talk about. But let's. Let's just call test showed up naked.
Julian
That's why you went to Ross.
Advertiser 4
Exactly. Okay, let's call Tess, though, and just see if she picks up and has anything to tell us extra. Here we go.
Julian
Hello.
Advertiser 4
Hi, we're looking to speak with Tess.
Caller
This is her.
Listener
Who is this?
Julian
Oh, hey, Tess.
Tess
I almost did something, but I was.
Advertiser 4
Like, wow, Brooke really excited. That's my very aroused co host for some reason. That's Brooke.
Julian
I'm aroused. I'm excited to talk to Tess.
Advertiser 4
Okay, sounds like everybody. We are a morning show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey. We're on the radio.
Advertiser 1
Okay.
Caller
And you're calling me why?
Julian
Great question.
Advertiser 4
Because one of our listeners asked us to reach out to you after you two went out on a little bit of a romantic rendezvous at a Mexican restaurant.
Julian
Sounds like a cute date.
Advertiser 4
There's a guy named Julian, and he.
Caller
He called you?
Julian
Yeah, he said that he's texted you, like, four times and you haven't hit him back.
Caller
Yeah, because I'm pretty sure he knows what happened. Oh, my gosh. This is so embarrassing.
Tess
Actually, he doesn't.
Julian
Did you say something's embarrassing?
Tess
He told us. He has no idea.
Advertiser 4
Embarrassing for him or embarrassing for you?
Caller
Probably more embarrassing for me. Kind of just want to forget about it, so.
Advertiser 4
Well, okay, look, we are totally understanding if something didn't go the way you wanted it to go or something weird happened, but we're just trying to help out Julian because he's totally confused.
Julian
Oh, he is.
Advertiser 4
He mentioned to us about the Mexican restaurant and going to Ross, and it.
Julian
Sounded fun, but then you changed your mind about getting a ride home.
Advertiser 4
Yeah. Yeah. So we're just trying to help him get some clarity.
Caller
Yeah, but you guys don't understand. Like, it's pretty bad. I don't. Don't really want to talk about it, especially on the radio.
Tess
Well, we can't see your face. We only know one of your names.
Julian
We love embarrassing stories. I mean, honestly, it makes me feel better about my whole life.
Tess
Come on.
Advertiser 4
And we're real. I mean, you got to think about Julian, too, who's just sitting at home totally confused.
Tess
Yeah, we can tell you an embarrassing story.
Advertiser 4
We're just trying to help relay the message over to him if. Like, make sure that he didn't do anything wrong.
Caller
I mean, he. He didn't do anything wrong.
Julian
Okay, so wait, what happened? Did it happen at the Mexican restaurant? Like, where did things go bad?
Caller
It started at the Mexican restaurant and then just kind of continued from there.
Advertiser 4
A few details.
Caller
Yeah. So I ordered some spicy enchiladas for dinner because I love Mexican food, and they just kind of hit different, you know?
Julian
Uh. Oh, yeah, the red sauce.
Caller
I had to take myself to the bathroom twice during dinner.
Tess
Oh, okay.
Advertiser 4
Okay. Well, I'll tell you, that did not come up in the recap from Julian.
Julian
He did not notice at all.
Tess
Yeah, he didn't say Anything with it.
Caller
I'm glad that he didn't notice. And then, you know, when we were getting the check and he offered to take me home, it kind of just. It hit again. But I didn't want to go to the bathroom because I didn't want him to know.
Advertiser 4
Right.
Julian
You'd already gone one or twice.
Caller
I was like, it's fine. I'm gonna power through and then when I get home, it'll take care of things, It'll be fine. And then we get outside and my body betrayed me rather violently.
Julian
Oh, girl.
Caller
Ruined my shorts. Right there on the.
Listener
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Advertiser 4
You did what? Oh. Oh, God.
Julian
It's like the bridesmaids.
Listener
How did I not know that? Oh, my God.
Advertiser 4
Yeah.
Advertiser 1
Wait, before the car or after the car?
Julian
No, they didn't get in the car.
Advertiser 4
Yeah, sorry. I don't know if you heard that test, but Julian. Julian heard that.
Caller
Julian's on the phone. Oh, my God.
Advertiser 4
Yeah, he's been listening to this conversation.
Julian
Oh, sorry. We had no embarrassing idea that it was going to be embarrassing like, that we thought he did something wrong.
Caller
Seriously, like, how is this managing to get even more embarrassing?
Advertiser 4
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Julian
Hey, it is not your fault. It is that enchilada's fault.
Advertiser 4
Julian.
Listener
Oh, man.
Advertiser 4
Julian, talk to Tess?
Listener
Yeah, I had no idea at all. Like, had no clue.
Julian
That's good, though.
Tess
Yeah, that's good on her then.
Julian
Impressive, Tess.
Caller
Well, luckily, I guess I had that going for me, but I just. I panicked, okay? And that's when I. I thought, how can I fix this? And then I saw the Ross next door and I was like, this is perfect. We're gonna go in there and I can buy myself some new shorts.
Listener
Oh, now it makes sense.
Advertiser 4
That's why you wanted to go into.
Julian
Ross and you just make sure that he walks in front of you at all times.
Advertiser 4
Oh, my gosh.
Caller
I did manage to find a pair of shorts that looked really close to the ones that I was wearing. But, you know, I kind of wanted to throw you off the fence, so. I also was looking at the sweaters.
Julian
Well, you need something to maybe tie around your waist. That's a classic trick.
Listener
Oh.
Advertiser 4
Go.
Caller
And so, yeah, I managed to get those two things. I took them up to the cashier. And then I had this plan in my head that was probably pretty ill conceived. You know, do a quick change, like behind his car or a dumpster or.
Julian
I don't know what, just use a changing room. Ross, what are you doing?
Caller
I don't know. I thought it would be too conspicuous, but it didn't work out in my favor, and I panicked and I just called the Uber.
Advertiser 4
Okay, okay, you didn't want to get in the. In the car with him because. Okay, this. This all makes sense.
Julian
It is? Yeah.
Advertiser 4
Julian, does this connect some of the dots for you?
Julian
Oh, you poor thing.
Listener
Now it makes sense why she called my jacket neat like her mind wasn't even present.
Julian
Yeah, yeah, I think she wanted to do was watch you try.
Tess
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely a jacket.
Julian
Okay, panicking.
Advertiser 4
Well, Julian, you can forgive her for that mistake, right? Or is that a deal breaker for you?
Listener
Honestly, Tess, we're all human and things happen. I would love to hang out with you again. This time we can go skating or bowling so you can see how, you know, non athletic I am, and that could be embarrassing for me.
Julian
Oh, look at that. Okay, he's willing to embarrass himself to even the plane.
Tess
Do not eat the nachos at a bowling alley. That will trigger something.
Advertiser 4
That's a hot tip, actually. But we would like to offer to send you out with Julian one more time, Tess. And we would pay for that date if you're open to it.
Julian
You could turn this horrible experience into to, like, actually kind of a meet cute.
Advertiser 1
You don't need money in a while.
Advertiser 4
It could be your second anniversary.
Julian
Yes. Wait, she doesn't know anything about that.
Advertiser 4
Oh, okay. Well, just ignore what I said then, and it'll be a sweet second date if you're willing to do it. Tess, what do you think?
Caller
Oh, gosh. I mean, Julian, you're incredibly sweet. I just honestly don't think I could ever face you. It was hilarious.
Julian
Think of what you've already shown him. There's only. There's only up from here, Tess.
Caller
I honestly can say I never thought someone telling me that pooping my pants was an okay thing would be somehow romantic.
Advertiser 4
It's like you guys are 80 years old already.
Tess
Throw in a pair of diapers.
Advertiser 4
Yeah, let's toss in a pair of Depends. So, wait, is that a yes? Tess?
Caller
Yeah, I'll see em.
Listener
Yay.
Tess
Spicy habanero enchiladas all around Brooke and.
Julian
Jeffrey in the morning.
Brooke
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Jeffrey
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Podcast Summary: Brooke and Jeffrey – Second Date Update Classic: Ross Mess For Less
Episode Details:
The episode kicks off with Brooke and Jeffrey introducing the "Second Date Update," a segment dedicated to unraveling the mysteries behind why some first dates don't lead to second ones. They present the case of Julian, a listener who is puzzled by his recent lack of response from Tess after their first date.
Notable Quote:
Julian shares his experience of meeting Tess at a Mexican restaurant, where he attempted to impress by claiming it was their anniversary of their first date. Although the evening started smoothly with enjoyable food and pleasant conversation, certain actions may have inadvertently set the stage for miscommunication.
Notable Quotes:
Brooke and Jeffrey delve into Julian's concerns about his texting behavior post-date. Julian admits to sending four texts over six days without receiving a response, leading his friends to label his efforts as "spamming."
Notable Quotes:
To uncover the truth, Brooke and Jeffrey connect with Tess, who reveals the real reason behind her silence. Tess explains that after enjoying spicy enchiladas, she experienced gastrointestinal issues, leading to an embarrassing accident. This unexpected mishap shifted the dynamics of the date, causing Tess to feel uncomfortable and ultimately decide to distance herself.
Notable Quotes:
In an attempt to salvage the evening, Tess suggested a stop at Ross Dress for Less. While Julian initially found this diverting, it was actually Tess’s desperate move to address her predicament by purchasing new shorts and sweaters. However, her plan to discreetly change was thwarted, leading her to opt for an Uber instead of accepting Julian's offer to drive her home.
Notable Quotes:
Upon learning the true reason behind Tess’s behavior, Julian is left feeling relieved yet empathetic. Tess expresses her embarrassment but appreciates Julian's willingness to understand and move forward. Brooke and Jeffrey encourage Julian to view the situation with compassion, highlighting that accidents happen and that open communication is key to resolving misunderstandings.
Notable Quotes:
The episode concludes with Brooke and Jeffrey summarizing the key takeaways from Julian and Tess’s story. They emphasize the importance of understanding the unspoken challenges that can arise during dates and the value of clear communication. The hosts also highlight the humorous and human aspects of dating mishaps, making the segment both insightful and entertaining.
Notable Quotes:
Communication is Crucial: Julian’s overzealous texting was initially perceived negatively, but the root cause of Tess’s silence was entirely unrelated to his communication style.
Understanding Underlying Issues: Tess’s gastrointestinal issues were the true reason for her discomfort, illustrating that external factors can significantly impact interpersonal interactions.
Humor and Empathy Go a Long Way: Both parties benefited from a lighthearted and understanding approach, turning an embarrassing situation into an opportunity for connection and potential reconciliation.
Don’t Jump to Conclusions: Julian’s assumption about his "text game" being the issue was premature. It's essential to consider all possible factors before attributing blame.
Closing Thoughts: This episode of "Second Date Update" masterfully blends humor with real-life dating dilemmas, offering listeners both laughter and valuable relationship insights. By unraveling the true cause behind Tess’s ghosting, Brooke and Jeffrey provide a nuanced perspective on the complexities of modern dating, reminding us all to approach each other with empathy and an open mind.