Second Date Update Classics: Flea Market Find + Due The Math

Summary

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update Classics—"Flea Market Find" + "Due The Math"

Date: May 9, 2026
Podcast: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning | iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This episode features two classic "Second Date Update" segments, where the Brooke and Jeffrey crew helps listeners track down people who ghosted them after a first date—aiming for a second chance, often with hilarious outcomes. Today's stories:

1. Flea Market Find: Leo takes Marissa to a quirky flea market for a thrifty "friendship-first" day, but after bonding over bargain hunting, he never hears back—and he's particularly desperate to retrieve his favorite jacket.
2. Due The Math: Justine, disillusioned by bleak dating-app statistics, meets James, a playful stranger with a "boyfriend resume" at a coffee shop. After a unique "boyfriend interview," James disappears—leaving Justine wondering if she was just another "applicant."

The episode brims with comedic banter, awkward moments, and the hosts’ trademark snark as they uncover surprising reasons behind the ghosting.

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Segment 1: Flea Market Find

Main Discussion Points

1. Setting Up Friend Zone Expectations (04:18)

• Marissa wasn't looking for romance straight away; she proposed "just friends" up-front.
• Leo agrees: “I'm the kind of guy that doesn't really want to jump into anything too fast myself” (07:43).

2. The Flea Market Date (06:05–10:10)

• Leo and Marissa bond over their mutual love of dogs and stroll the flea market—spotting everything from VHS tapes to taxidermy foxes wearing monocles.

  • Leo: “She was excited to be there too…we walked around that flea market for a good hour and a half.” (08:40)
  • Notable moment: Their lighthearted debate about whether the stuffed fox is "elegant" or "haunted" (09:26).

• They each snag a quirky item: Leo, a Fleetwood Mac record; Marissa, a novelty firefighter apron.

3. The Jacket Plotline (10:10–11:31)

• Leo lends Marissa his favorite jacket as it gets chilly, assuming he’ll see her again. Two weeks later, he’s left "ghosted"—and jacketless.
• Leo: “As much as I would like to see Marissa, I would also like my jacket back.” (10:30)

4. Why the Ghosting? The Reveal (13:49–20:05)

• Marissa answers the radio crew’s call and reveals her side:

  • She’s put off when a piece of paper falls out of Leo’s jacket labeled “Things Not To Say On the Date With Marissa.”
    • Items include:
      • “Don’t talk about your ex like you did with the last girl.”
      • “Girls don’t like crypto chat.”
      • “Don’t forget to tip big.”
  • Marissa: “It’s just weird that it’s been an issue…like something you have to remind yourself not to do. That’s a red flag for me.” (17:04)

• Leo, caught off guard but honest, tries to explain it's about self-improvement:

  • “The good thing now is that you know all my weaknesses…that’s a positive, right?”

5. Conclusion: The Jacket, Not the Girl (20:35–21:16)

• Marissa agrees to leave the jacket outside at 7pm, rebuffing any suggestion of a second hangout:
  • “I’ll put it out today.” (20:42)
• Leo laments, “You’re not as nice as you were on our first date…not gonna help you make more friends.” (21:02)
• The hosts playfully bemoan the failed match and offer their own “friendly advice" to both parties.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Brooke: “If you think about it, this cheap date actually cost you a lot of money if you lose that jacket.” (10:41)
• Marissa: “This is so messed up…like, I don’t want someone with so many red flags.” (19:45)
• Jeffrey (on the ‘rules’ list): “That’d be like me being like, ‘don’t talk that much’…” (17:55)

Timestamps

• 03:23 — Segment begins
• 06:05 — Introduction to Leo’s story
• 10:10 — The jacket handoff
• 13:49 — Call to Marissa; her side of the story
• 18:10 — Hosts reveal Leo is on the line
• 20:42 — Resolution: the jacket plan

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Segment 2: Due The Math

Main Discussion Points

1. Dating Apps vs. Real Life: The “Math” is Bleak (24:12–26:28)

• Justine uses an online test to calculate her odds of finding a suitable match (employed, car owner, not living with parents):
  • “It came back with less than 1% of men.” (26:06)
• Her luck turns serendipitous: She meets James, who approaches her at a coffee shop with a unique pickup line.

2. Boyfriend Resume: The Pickup That Works (26:40–28:06)

• James: “Are you accepting applications?”
• He hands Justine a literal “boyfriend resume,” listing interests (games, hiking), and suggests a formal interview.
• Instead, Justine flips the script, “Why don’t you just sit down now and I can interview you?” (28:02)

3. The Interview—Funny and Honest (28:28–29:24)

• When asked the hardest “interview” question (“What don’t you want me to know about you?”), James confesses:
  • “I cry when I watch The Matrix because I’m scared about the future.” (28:46)

4. Why Did He Ghost? The Hosts Investigate (29:24–36:14)

• After promising a “second interview,” James never calls back.
• The hosts call James, discovering he often uses the “resume move” with several women:
  • “Yeah, I’ve done that a good amount.” (33:54)
  • Admits he’s met extreme couponers and alien-abduction enthusiasts via this shtick.
• Justine stood out for her wit and ability to match his banter:
  • “Justine’s was…different…I’ll be honest, it kind of freaked me out.” (35:38–35:42)
  • James confesses he’s never been challenged like that and didn't know how to respond.
• Justine presses him for honesty: “You have every right to be confident and witty…I enjoyed our conversation, I’m sad that you’re just backing out.” (37:11)

5. Conclusion: Second (Literal) Chance (38:01–39:26)

• The hosts encourage James to step up. After prodding, he agrees to a second date—more timidly than before.
• Justine: “I am open to a second interview, but he honestly sounds…pretty different. A lot more timid.” (39:26)
• The hosts rate their odds at a “2% chance,” but send them off with an Applebee’s steakhouse gift card.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Justine: “I started out super basic…They have to have a job, they have to like, not live with their parents, have a car…came back less than 1%.” (25:51–26:06)
• James: “It’s proven to be a great way to meet people…people really respond.” (34:50)
• Brooke: “That’s why you’re single, my man…you finally found her and you’re like, ‘what do I do?’” (36:28)
• Justine to James: “I think you got in your head…When there are no stakes, it’s easy…now that there’s stakes, it’s different.” (38:43)

Timestamps

• 24:12 — Segment begins ("Due The Math")
• 26:40 — Justine meets James: the “application” scene
• 28:28 — Boyfriend interview/banter
• 33:54 — Hosts confront James about repeated use of his move
• 35:38 — James admits being "freaked out"
• 39:26 — Justine agrees to a second date (with reservations)

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Episode Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Hosts’ Comedic Tone Throughout: Banter about "rubber band tariffs," “friend zone stipulations,” and dating-app math add levity and quick-witted humor.
• Running Gags:
  • Jeffrey’s obsession with rubber bands.
  • Multiple reminders that the “jacket” has become more important than the romance itself.
  • The "resume" pickup strategy as both genius and potentially overused.
• Listener Scoring: Post-date, a listener rates each host's performance on-air, highlighting the show's self-aware and interactive style (22:24).
• Meta Humor: The hosts’ continuous fourth-wall breaks (e.g., justifying why people listen, mocking their own segment structure) give the show a breezy, tongue-in-cheek vibe.
• Transparency: Callers know they’re on the radio—sometimes mid-call—leading to trademark awkward honesty.

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Key Takeaways

• Not All Ghosting is a Mystery: Sometimes it's just about the small things—a forgotten list of “don’ts” or being too clever for your own good.
• Self-Improvement or Red Flags? Leo’s attempt at “dating notes” is viewed with suspicion, showing that good intentions can land awkwardly.
• Playfulness vs. Genuine Connection: James’s pickup may be smooth, but real interest and vulnerability are more memorable and possibly intimidating.
• Friend Zone Isn’t Always a Safe Zone: Even with “just friends” up front, expectations and disappointments still arise.

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Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• “You can just hang on to it, ‘cause I was so confident we would meet up again. That’s how well the date went.” — Leo (10:25)
• “I picked it up and he had made a list titled, ‘Things Not To Say on the Date With Marissa’.” — Marissa (16:39)
• “Don’t talk about your ex like you did with the last girl.” — Marissa reading Leo’s notes (16:53)
• “I cry when I watch The Matrix because I’m scared about the future.” — James (28:46)
• “I guess I’m just not used to that. I’ve never had that happen before.” — James, on being ‘out-bantered’ (36:23)
• “I am open to a second interview, but he honestly sounds…pretty different. A lot more timid.” — Justine (39:26)

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Final Thoughts

The episode showcases the uniquely awkward humor and psychological acrobatics of modern dating. Whether you’re rooting for self-aware Leo recovering his jacket, or hoping resume-wielding James finds genuine confidence, you’ll laugh, cringe, and maybe recognize your own dating neuroses in these lively calls.

Listen to more Second Date Updates at:

• iHeartRadio
• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify

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Transcript

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[Brooke]

Hey, thanks so much for being here on the weekend. It is the second date podcast with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, the official one. And every Saturday we feature two classics. Yep. Yeah, exactly. That put them back to back so you get a little longer dose. And also if you guys love these and you want to see what they look like live, we're actually doing video now. Yes, there is a visual aspect to it all.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

For the better or worse?

[Marissa]

I don't know.

[Brooke]

But we're rolling out a little slowly. We don't have the biggest team in the world, so we're doing as much as we can. We've got two live videos up right now on our YouTube page at Brooke and Jeffrey. Thank you so much for checking those out and for subscribing and leaving a comment, even if it's a comment that you were disappointed. We'll take that perfect too. Honestly, you took time out of your day to write us and that appreciate you. So if you haven't, go check them out on YouTube again at Brooke, Jeffrey and your back to back classics start right now.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

It's good to set rules and boundaries early on in a new relationship.

[Brooke]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, communication's key there.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah. Like when Brooke started dating her husband, she made a rule on night one. He wasn't allowed to cry when they hooked up.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, no. That must have been tough.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Well, let's just say that rule didn't last very long. Oh, see, but one of our.

[Brooke]

Show me those crocodile tears, boy.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

But one of our listeners was given a different tear stipulation. Before his first date, and he had to say yes to it in order for them to meet.

[Brooke]

Whoa.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Is it better or worse than Brooke's list of strict demands? We're gonna find out when we do your second date update. Next.

[Brooke]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning second date update.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

If anyone's been out on a date recently, you know how expensive it can be. Not just for the food and drinks, but the blindfolds and the rubber bands.

[Brooke]

I thought you were gonna say parking.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh, yeah, you do need a place to park before you set up all the rubber bands.

[Brooke]

I see.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

And I cannot find one strong enough to hold my wrists down anymore.

[Brooke]

Wow. I don't know, Jen. That is.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

It's the tariffs. God, the tariffs on maximum strength rubber bands from Indonesia. They are through the roof right now.

[Brooke]

You should try the rubber bands they put on asparagus. Those are the fat boys.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Still not strong enough.

[Jeffrey]

Isn't it like, 200% more expensive, not stronger, Jeff.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, but they'll only place that make them stronger. And they cost so much money. I'm just. I'm happy that our listener Leo figured out how to save a buck or two on his date recently, and I'm very curious how he did it. So, Leo, welcome to the show.

[Brooke]

Like, what is happening, Leo, Are the rubber band tariffs hitting you hard, too,

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

or did you rubber band yourself?

[Leo]

Oh, no, I'm still here.

[James]

I'm doing all right.

[Brooke]

Okay, that's good.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Leo, where do you get your extra strength rubber bands from?

[Leo]

I don't typically need to get a lot of them.

[Jeffrey]

Just save them from random mail.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

That's actually kind of smart.

[Leo]

Yeah, I got. I got a drawer that I got. Too many of them actually share the

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

wealth at some point. But, hey, I know you went on a date with somebody recently. What's her name?

[Leo]

Her name's Marissa.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay. Where'd you meet her?

[Leo]

We matched on Bumble and we connected over love of dogs. You know, we each have two dogs, and it's just we. We can't get enough of them. I mean, if we lived in bigger place. And we probably have more than just two. You know what I mean?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Like 101 Dalmatians. That movie is like, ooh, gold.

[James]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay, but you said in your email you were able to save some money on your date. How did you do that?

[Leo]

Oh, yeah. So when we matched, at first, she was very clear that she wanted to be friends. She didn't want to jump into anything like relationship. Here we go. She was really. Yeah. Yeah. So I suggested, after we matched, just Grabbing a coffee. But she countered with, how about we go to a flea market?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh, okay. That's how you saved come from. I was gonna say that's how you saved money on your day with the flea market discounts.

[Leo]

Yeah, I was willing to spend it. It was her idea. Yeah.

[Geico Gecko]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh, okay. That's awesome.

[Brooke]

I think it's impressive that you are good with being friends first. Yeah. Yeah, right.

[Jeffrey]

I wouldn't do that. But that's great that you're.

[Leo]

I'm sort of the kind of guy that doesn't really want to jump into anything too fast myself. So I do have friends that are women. So, like, if we decide that it doesn't work out, it's like, okay, well, if we're at that friendship level first and we can stay that way and then, you know, it's a positive.

[Jeffrey]

It's nice when you're, like, naturally friends. But what Brooke was saying, too, to be like, I'm setting the tone. Friend zone right away. It's good that you worked with that.

[Brooke]

Yeah. It's refreshing, I guess, is the thing.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

So take us to the flea market, though. How did that go?

[Leo]

It went okay, which is better than okay. Which is kind of weird to me. Why I haven't heard from her since then.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Leo]

But before I get into that. Yeah, we met up there and she looked like her pictures. Thank God. She was really, really cute.

[Brooke]

You wouldn't want a friend that looks like somebody else.

[Jeffrey]

The friend thing does make it different now. That's right. You can't really judge that much.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay.

[Leo]

So she was excited to be there, too. And Bargain Hunt and all that. And we walked around that flea market for a good hour and a half.

[Marissa]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah. What did you get into? Like a crate of old used VHS

[Jeffrey]

tapes or rubber bands, Jeff's favorite.

[Leo]

Yeah, yeah. No rubber bands, but we did see vhs. There was a station that had a lot of those.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, man.

[Brooke]

Shocking. They're not selling so quickly.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

No.

[Jeffrey]

Probably has the machines to play them.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay. So how was your connection with Marissa?

[Leo]

It was good. And I know that sometimes for these things, you guys ask what we talked about. We actually talked about taxidermy.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

What friends don't.

[Brooke]

I don't know. You're at a flea market, you're bound to find a couple of squirrels or.

[Leo]

Yeah, we saw a booth for that, actually, for taxidermy. And in fact, there was actually a fox there with a monocle on. So Marissa thought that it looks like elegance. And I thought it looked straight up haunted. I was like, I would Never let that into my home.

[Brooke]

Haunted by the stuff. Fox. Well, that sounds like a funny point of conversation.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Fun moment.

[Leo]

Yeah, it was. It was.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Did you guys buy anything? Take anything home?

[Leo]

Yeah, we each got one thing. I got a Fleetwood Mac record. And she got one of those novelty aprons where it looks like there's a shirtless firefighter on the front.

[Brooke]

Oh, I like her, silly.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

This is all the cool stuff. So is that. Is that it?

[Leo]

Yeah, that's it. We each got the one thing, and then I walked her back to her place. And on the way back, it was starting to get kind of chilly, so I gave her my jacket. And when we got to her place, I was like, oh, yeah, you can just hang on to it. Because I was so confident that we would meet up again. Because that's how well the first date went.

[Brooke]

Totally.

[Leo]

And now she's not answering any of my texts or calls, and it's like, hey, as much as I would like to see Marissa, I would also like my jacket back.

[Brooke]

You know, if you think about it, this cheap date actually costs you a lot of money if you lose that jacket. Taxidermy is not cheap, Jeff.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I could imagine.

[Leo]

Yeah, that didn't happen.

[Brooke]

Thank God Fox is only haunting his dreams, not his house.

[Leo]

Yeah, right.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

How long has it been since the flea market date?

[Leo]

It's been about two weeks.

[Jeffrey]

Oh.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh, that's a long way.

[Brooke]

You've gone without a jacket for two weeks. That's.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I'm sure it's not his only jacket.

[Brooke]

I don't know. It could be probably his favorite if you wore it. I know. And the one he feels like he looks good in. Yeah.

[Leo]

Yes, it is my favorite jacket. I've got like, one or two others, but they're not. They're not my favorite, you know?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, totally.

[Brooke]

Oh, man, this is dire, Jeffrey.

[Geico Commercial Voice]

I know.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

This is code red. We're gonna reach out and call Marissa, try and get you one, your jacket back, and then two. Possibly another meetup with her when we do your second date update. Coming up right after this.

[Brooke]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Friends ghost each other, right?

[Brooke]

Yeah. I mean.

[Jeffrey]

I mean, politely.

[Brooke]

Yeah. Eventually you get back together.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Like Alexis, if a friend wore the same outfit as you, they're getting blackballed for, like, three months. Right?

[Brooke]

I mean, I'm usually the one that copies my friend's outfits. Whoa. True.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

They probably shouldn't talk to you.

[Brooke]

You still call dibs on it, though?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I look cuter in it. It just seems like if you agree to go out as Friends first. Then there'd be less pressure on the, like, hangout. You wouldn't get ditched, right?

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

If you're just focused on being friends, you're just focused on having a good day.

[Brooke]

Maybe she's a terrible friend. That could be considered that.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

It is weird because our listener Leo has not heard from Marissa for the last two weeks after they hung out. And the worst case scenario I'm thinking of is if Leo goes back to that flea market and his jacket is

[Brooke]

up for sale, worn by the fox with a monocle.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh, even worse. That would not be good. Leo, have you checked the flea market or possibly ebay for your jacket?

[Leo]

To be fair, no, I have not.

[Brooke]

Okay, great jacket caper. That's what she does. Their jackets and then resell them on secondhand stores.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

See, anything is possible. Especially since he's the one that recommended the flea market in the first place. But you never thought about that, Leo?

[Leo]

No, I didn't think about that.

[Jeffrey]

Anybody?

[Brooke]

He probably won't put a lot more thought into it. Probably not the case.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Why you come to the show? We're creative, creative investigators.

[Brooke]

Here's the thing. Like, do we bring up the jacket?

[Jeffrey]

Maybe after, you know, she'll bring it. If she says yes to a date.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Is it more important that you get the jacket back or that you have another hangout and stay friends with Marissa?

[Leo]

I gotta be honest. It's more important to me that I get the jacket back because I really like that jacket.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

And you've only met this girl one

[Brooke]

time and she just wants to be friends with you. So, honestly, I mean, seriously, it's gonna

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

really hurt her feelings when I tell her that. But you know what? Don't say that. That's what he wants. Okay, you know what? I'll hold off. I'll hold off.

[Brooke]

I mean, she might want the jacket more than him too.

[Marissa]

We don't know.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

It's possible. Let's find out. I'm gonna dial her number right now. Let's see if she picks up. But here we go.

[Marissa]

Hello?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Hey, is this Marissa?

[Marissa]

Yes, this is Marissa. Who's this?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Hey, this is probably the weirdest phone call you're gonna get all day. Unless you'd, like, already talked to your ex or something. But you're on the radio right now with a show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

[Marissa]

Wait, I'm. Wait, this is the radio?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, it still exists. But yes, yes, we're a show. We try to help out our listeners who've hung out with somebody recently and they're not getting a call back to hang out a second time.

[Marissa]

That's weird.

[Jeffrey]

It's actually not weird. It's our bread and butter. We do these every day. A lot of people don't get calls

[Brooke]

back, but it's weird for you. We get. Understand why that would be strange. A strange call.

[Marissa]

Yeah. I've never heard this, so it's just.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, totally.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay, so we're trying to help out our listener that you hung out with recently named Leo. Oh, yeah, you remember Leo.

[Marissa]

Yeah, I do. Sorry, I'm, like, catching up right now. Okay, so he called you?

[Brooke]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, we. We spoke to him before, and he told us about your hangout at the flea market.

[Marissa]

Okay, so he probably wants his jacket, I assume. So I can just, like, leave it outside my place.

[Jeffrey]

That's all you're focused on is the jacket. You're not focused on him at all.

[Marissa]

I'm. I'm just not really into him.

[Brooke]

Okay, but I thought that you just wanted to be friends. That's what you said. Like, you're not into him even as a friend.

[Marissa]

Yeah, I think when people start dating, the idea should be that you start as friends, and then if it progresses from there, great. But I just don't really see any hope for that in this situation.

[Brooke]

My goodness. After one.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Well, it's fair. Like, you're allowed to feel that way.

[Brooke]

I don't know. I just feel like if you're gonna start it as friends, you've got to be more open. You've got to give it a little bit more time. Because sometimes friendship in general just takes time. Unless it's so bad that you know.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

I mean, what.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Can I ask? Was there something, like, one particular thing that made you feel that way when you were hanging out with him?

[Marissa]

Overall, I can tell you this. The date itself was pretty good.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Marissa]

Was nice. He's cute. I like him. We did have a nice time.

[Brooke]

That is not the response I thought you were gonna say. I thought you were gonna say, like, there was no sexual chemistry or.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Brooke does have a lot of sexual chemistry with all of her friends, so I can understand a lot of family members, too, so kind of blurs the lines, but for you.

[Brooke]

You know what I mean?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

No, I know exactly what you mean. So for you, what was it exactly?

[Marissa]

Okay, so the date was good. But it's just when I got home, he let me borrow his jacket because it got kind of chilly. And when I hung up at the jacket, this little. Okay, this little piece of paper fell out, and I picked it up, and he had made a list titled things not to say on the Date with Marissa.

[Brooke]

Oh, that is. I don't know, but sometimes I do better in my head if I write things down.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, Depends on what things he was telling himself not to say to her. Her.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Can we know what some of the things were?

[Marissa]

There was one that said, don't talk about the ex like you did with the last girl.

[Brooke]

Well, okay, that's an important reminder, which should be number one on this list.

[Marissa]

That's fair, right? It's just weird that it's been an issue. Like, it's something you have to remind yourself not to do. I mean, that's like a red flag for me.

[Brooke]

Okay, what's another one?

[Marissa]

There was something that said, girls don't like crypto chat.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, yeah, they don't.

[Marissa]

Yeah, Fair again. Like, it's just another weird thing. Like, is he super into crypto? That, like, clearly.

[Brooke]

Why is that a red flag? He could be into crypto.

[James]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

A lot of bad.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

This means he's potentially rich.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, he's a trader.

[Marissa]

No, not. No,

[Jeffrey]

she is right. Every crypto bro will tell you they're rich, but not all of them are. So she is right on that.

[Brooke]

I mean, but you don't see these things as just, I don't know, thoughtful preparation before a date?

[Marissa]

I just think it's better to plan nice things than to write out things. You should not do that you usually do that turns people off.

[Jeffrey]

Ah, that's tough. That'd be like me being like, don't talk that much.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I know.

[Brooke]

You know, it's like.

[Jeffrey]

It's a good thing to say. Don't.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Exactly. Because one of the things that I wrote down was don't tell Marissa that Leo is on the other line listening and wants to talk to her. Oh, was I not supposed.

[Brooke]

No, tell her. Tell her now.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh, my God. Marissa, wait. Yeah, what? Leo's on the other line listening to this conversation.

[Marissa]

Oh, my God. No, you're kidding. You're kidding, right?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

No, I told myself not to say that to you. I'm sorry. Leo, are you there?

[Leo]

Yeah, I'm here.

[James]

This is.

[Leo]

This is pretty awkward. Okay.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. And I know I wasn't supposed to say it, so the awkwardness.

[Marissa]

Oh, my God. I can't believe you did that. I can't believe you didn't tell me that ever. Oh, my God.

[Brooke]

Wait, you're mad at Jeffrey, though, right? Not Leo?

[Marissa]

I. I'm. I don't even. I'm upset. I don't know.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

It Was my fault. It was my fault. I'll take the blame. Leo, talk to Marissa about what you just heard.

[Leo]

Well, I mean, the good thing now is that you know all my weaknesses. You know, all the bad things that I try to not do on our date. That's a positive, right?

[Marissa]

Okay, well, you also wrote on your little list, remember to tip this time. You don't usually tip. This is all. They're red flags, the things that you're saying that you usually do. And don't do this. Don't let her, like, see who you are is what this list feels like.

[Leo]

Marissa, I don't think you were reading the note right. The note actually said, don't forget to tip big. So, you know.

[Marissa]

No, it didn't. And now you're just lying.

[Brooke]

Listen, I mean, you've got a person here who really likes you, who's trying to be a better person. I mean, what more can you want from someone? A guy who can admit their flaws is nicely and actually take action to change. Change them.

[Marissa]

I get someone who doesn't have so many red flags and issues talking about his ex all the time and doesn't tip and is into crypto.

[Brooke]

Right?

[Marissa]

This is so messed up.

[Brooke]

I think it's your perspective, though. I think if you looked at it the other way, they're all green flags.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

And I don't. I haven't heard him mention his ex girlfriend once during this entire phone call, and he doesn't have his little paper in front of him to remind him not to do that.

[Brooke]

We didn't even know he had one.

[Leo]

Yeah, I actually. I actually wrote that on the paper before I called the radio station, actually. But I'm doing. Well, no, I'm not following that rule.

[Brooke]

Oh, you do have a paper right now as well.

[Marissa]

Okay, I feel like I'm being set up, and I kind of want to go now.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Well, Marissa, don't you feel like maybe you're being a little bit harsh and judging him a lot for, like, a piece of paper that you found?

[Marissa]

No, not really. Like, I don't. This is not even like, someone I want to. I just don't even.

[Jeffrey]

You don't care enough.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

No. But you will hold on to his jacket for two weeks.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, the jacket. What are we doing there?

[Brooke]

She said that she'd leave it on her doorstep.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, that's right.

[Marissa]

I'll put it out today.

[Leo]

No, wait. Don't put it outside. Someone's gonna steal it. It's a really nice jacket.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

And then they're gonna have all the tips about what not to do on the first date. So, Marissa, would you at least meet up with him to hand him his jacket in person?

[Marissa]

I'll put your jacket out at 7. Come and get it at 7.

[Brooke]

Okay. Well, there's a deadline.

[Leo]

Wow. Marissa, I'm just gonna say that you're not as nice as you were on our first date. And it's not gonna help you make more friends if you're not this nice.

[James]

You know what I mean?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

That's some friendly advice.

[Marissa]

Thanks for the tip. I think I'll be fine.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh, and he tips. See? Look what he does.

[Jeffrey]

That was a big tip.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

He really comes through.

[Brooke]

Those bullet points are working well.

[Marissa]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Geico Gecko]

And now for a bit of breaking news. Between your breaking news with me, the Geico Gecko, here are some things you ought to know today. People who switch their car insurance to geico save about $900 a year. Experts are calling that. Nice to know. Also, plants can hear when bees buzz. My ficus just heard that. And finally, animal experts have confirmed that goats have regional accents. I'm getting a hint of Irish there.

[Geico Commercial Voice]

It feels good to get good news. It feels good to Geico.

[Kel Penn]

It's smart to always have a few financial goals. And a really smart one. You can set earning cash back on what you buy every day. And with Discover, you can get this. Discover automatically matches all the cash back you've earned at the end of your first year. Seriously, all of it. And we trust you to make smart decisions. I mean, after all, you listen to this show. See [e-mail] credit card man.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I'm just reading the text board. After that second date and someone actually scored each of our performances. Oh, they said Jeff. Succinct, humorous, off the cuff, rough, handsome. Nine out of ten.

[Brooke]

No one text. Exactly.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Alexis, Jose and Brooke. Combined. Nine out of ten.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, hey, combined though. We're all threes.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yikes.

[Brooke]

I like it.

[Jeffrey]

I'll take that.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I'm disappointed in all of you that you guys didn't try harder for that poor, poor man. Alexis, you promise to do better next time? That we have a list on his

[Brooke]

side the whole time?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

You're not even sure. Jose, you the in in on doing better.

[Jeffrey]

I don't know what's going on, okay? I'm happy I'm a three.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Brooke, please, will you actually try? For our listeners?

[Brooke]

Yes, always.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

No wonder you guys were all rated threes. But if you want to find out, email us.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, now that you've heard our enthusiasm.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Exactly. You can email us if you want. Us to help you with your dating life. But go check out all of our second dates. Wherever you get your podcast, they're up online at Brooke and Jeffrey.

[Marissa]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

We've heard of people meeting in public places before. Like at a dog park.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

In a fitness class.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

In the waiting room of your couple's counseling session. Wait a minute. Okay, wait a minute. Hold on.

[Brooke]

Writing's on the wall.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

You never know where it's gonna happen.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, boy.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

But I promise you, you've never heard of anything like this before. Cuz what one guy did to ask out a woman he saw outside a coffee shop is creative. It's unique. Yes, it's even funny. So it's no wonder our listener is so desperate to see this dude one more time. You're gonna hear about the smooth move he pulled in your second date update right after this.

[Brooke]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Second date update.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Is there any way to do the math to figure out what type of person you're the most compatible with?

[Marissa]

With.

[Brooke]

Is there math for that?

[Jeffrey]

Oh, I'm better math, too.

[Brooke]

I'm never going to find her.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Like, start with affectionate.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Multiply by heavy petting, subtract two blindfolds, keep one, divide with an overbearing mother, and.

[Brooke]

Oh, this is Jeff math. I get it now.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Well, you're going to die alone.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Leo]

Shoot.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Every time I try to calculate this, I keep coming up with the same angle.

[Brooke]

It's like time zero anytime you add the mother, Right?

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, that's exactly it.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Thank goodness our listener Justine found a different formula, and hopefully her results are better than mine because apparently she's been single for a bit now. But, Justine, how's the dating world going for you? Are you also reserving a burial plot for one?

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Okay. Okay. I can hear you. I can hear you laughing through the tears. So that's good. It's all right, Justine.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

But I haven't put my deposit.

[Brooke]

The funny thing is, you're not alone in that.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

A lot of us are out there with you. But you said that you figured out some sort of mathematic formula to help you with your dating life. What was that?

[Marissa]

Yeah, it's like this online test. You put in all the stuff that you care about, like your preferences and whatever, for, like, finding a partner. And it's supposed to come back with, like, the percentage of men on dating apps who, like, say those preferences.

[Brooke]

Oh, really? So wait, they also take the test then, or. No, I think that it probably. I'm guessing it's an algorithm that goes through and looks at their dating profiles. Is that how it works?

[Marissa]

Yeah. And so like, I started out like super basic. I was like, they have to have a job. They have to like, not live at their parents house. Like have a car.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Like, standards are crazy on your end, really.

[Marissa]

I didn't put but a single thing that was physical, like height or anything. And it came back with less than 1% of men just having a car and a job. Truly.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh, my goodness.

[Brooke]

Okay, so. So you weren't feeling positive? I'm guessing at that number or, you

[Marissa]

know, that's like very bleak.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

Anyway, I like, after all of that, ended up meeting this guy named James, like just in a coffee shop.

[Brooke]

Oh.

[Jeffrey]

Randomly.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Didn't even need the dating app.

[Brooke]

She ran into the 1%.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay.

[Brooke]

Kind of funny.

[Jeffrey]

Like the irony.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

How did that interaction happen?

[Marissa]

I literally was just sitting down and I was like scrolling and he comes up to me and he's like, are you accepting applications? And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't work here. Like, I thought he was like applying at the coffee shop.

[James]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Were you wearing like a. An apron or something?

[Marissa]

No, I guess I just like, looked like I was, I don't know, I don't know.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Barista vibes or.

[Brooke]

You're a manager. You know, sometimes you walk into a restaurant or something, you see a manager working.

[Jeffrey]

That's a good point.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

How did you respond to him when he asked about application?

[Marissa]

I was like, oh, sorry, I don't work here. And he was like, no, no, like to be your boyfriend.

[Brooke]

Oh, it was all a line. Okay. Did you like that?

[Marissa]

I mean, I thought it was funny, but he like fully went along with it and he was like, listen, I brought my resume. I've got like my history and experience. And he legitimately like, pulled out a piece of paper.

[Brooke]

Shut.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Wait, what?

[Brooke]

He had a dating resume?

[Marissa]

Yes.

[Brooke]

Oh, I have to know what was on it.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Or is it a move that he pulls on women all the time and he has like 20 quote unquote dating resumes in his pocket to hand out whenever he sees someone cute.

[Brooke]

Kind of like the real world of getting a job. If she liked the resume, who cares how many other people like what was on it?

[Marissa]

You know, like basic stuff. Like he likes going to games and hiking. But he was like, yeah, if you want to set up an interview, can just like call the number. And I was like, why don't you just sit down now and I can interview you.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Oh my God.

[Brooke]

Great response.

[Marissa]

Yeah. And it was really nice. Like, he turned out to be an awesome guy. He, like, offered to literally Venmo me for the coffee that I'd already bought.

[Jeffrey]

What a good guy.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

You look poor here. You probably need this money.

[Brooke]

What was the hardest boyfriend interview question that you asked him?

[Marissa]

Well, okay, so I've actually, like, done interviews at my real job. So I was like, okay, I'm just gonna pull some of these. And I was like, what's one thing you don't want me to know about you,

[Brooke]

dude? He is so not prepared for.

[Leo]

Dang it.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I would hate that question to be asked to me on a first day. But did he have an answer for you?

[Marissa]

He did. And it was, like. It was, like, ready made. It's like he expected it. And he legitimately said, I cry when I watch the Matrix because I'm scared about the future.

[Brooke]

Oh, I don't think that was prepared. I feel like that was honest. Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

It seems so obscure. There's no way he just thought of that.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

How did you feel about that response?

[Marissa]

Honestly, I thought it was really funny and it was really clever. And, like, because it was so quick, I was like, oh, no, you're serious? Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah. It's not a red flag to you that he thinks the Matrix is actually gonna happen in the next few years?

[Brooke]

There could have been so many worse answers.

[Marissa]

He said, like, yeah, that is so

[Brooke]

much better than anything.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay.

[Marissa]

So anyway, at the end, he's like, so, did I get the job? And I was like, well, we probably should set up, like, a second interview. And then he's like, oh, then I definitely got the. And we kind of, like, left it off there, and it was funny, and we laughed. And then he, like, never called me again. What? Weird. I, like, texted him and made jokes about, like, hey, we need to set up your second interview. And it was just silence.

[Jeffrey]

Did you guys cancer anything or, like, hug? Was there a physical vibe?

[Marissa]

No.

[Geico Commercial Voice]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Like a normal job interview.

[Marissa]

Yeah. I was gonna say, what?

[Jeffrey]

It's not a real job interview.

[Brooke]

It doesn't sound like a transition.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

How do you think I got hired here? That's true.

[Brooke]

I mean, that is strange, though, because he's the one that approached you. Yeah, he's the one that did the line. Like, why wouldn't he?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

One that took it to the next level, that actually made him sit down for it. He probably just thought it was a smooth line and was going to back away.

[Marissa]

So he literally was the one asking, like, did I get the job?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, yeah. He just wants the ego boost the

[Jeffrey]

offer the company gives you isn't good.

[Brooke]

Or he's got to put in two weeks at his last job.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

So

[Leo]

he's, like, engaged.

[Brooke]

We got to find out.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

There's clearly a lot of options on the table. We're going to find out for sure what happens happen when we come back. And call James to do your second date update right after this.

[Brooke]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Is there any setting more romantic than a job interview, though?

[Jeffrey]

Yes. Many. Many.

[Brooke]

It shouldn't be romantic.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I don't know, Brooke.

[Brooke]

I think HR does.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

You're dressed all nice. You're talking about your biggest strengths and your greatest weaknesses.

[Marissa]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

All of a sudden, what comes out of your pants?

[Geico Commercial Voice]

Oops.

[Brooke]

Oh, God.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

A resume.

[Brooke]

No.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Would you look at that? I just happen to have that on me.

[Brooke]

Why is it. No wonder it's so warm.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

That's actually kind of what happened to one of our listeners who met a guy recently. It wasn't an official job application, but some dude saw her at a coffee shop and asked, hey, are you taking boyfriend applications?

[Brooke]

It is so smooth.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

And he even had a resume in his pants.

[Jeffrey]

That's why it's even smoother in his pocket.

[Brooke]

Okay. Like. Or who knows where it was? We don't know.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Either way. It's kind of sus that he just carries that around, waiting to whip out to any cute girl, if that's what he does.

[Jeffrey]

But we don't know. He may have done this.

[Brooke]

Just here's the thing. At least he's putting some effort in.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

And, like, it did work. And he got to sit down with her for a little interview, slash, mini first date. By the end, he said he was definitely going to call her, and according to her, he definitely didn't. So, man, I think we're all a little bit concerned that this little shtick he's doing is working too well. And maybe he's applying to multiple boyfriend positions all throughout the city.

[Brooke]

There are a lot of openings. Yeah, there's a lot.

[Jeffrey]

Not a lot of good candidates.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah. Justine, if this turns out where he actually does this all the time and meets hundreds of women this way, how could we make him remember you and have you stand. Like, how do we identify you? Or do you still even want to go out with him at that point?

[Marissa]

Well, at least I'm curious to hear what he has to say, but, yeah. I was wearing a green romper. I have red hair and glasses. Okay. Cute.

[Brooke]

I feel like you were the only one that sat him down and actually gave him, like, a Legit interview.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Brooke]

Like, how could he not remember you?

[Marissa]

Hopefully.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Geico Commercial Voice]

All right.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Hopefully. So we'll see if he does remember you and what he asked to say. We're going to dial James's phone number right now. Here we go.

[James]

Hello?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Hey, we're looking for James.

[James]

Yeah, this is him. Who's this?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Where we. We are a radio show.

[Jeffrey]

Jeff.

[Leo]

Sorry.

[Jeffrey]

You fumbled, like.

[Brooke]

I know.

[Jeffrey]

First word.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, thanks for pointing out all my flaws. Sorry.

[Geico Commercial Voice]

In front of everybody.

[Brooke]

You know, if you were interviewing for this job.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Well, we're calling on behalf of our boss, Justine, and apparently you applied for the position of her boyfriend role recently. Oh.

[James]

Oh, okay.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brooke]

You remember that interview? Do you remember that interview?

[James]

I mean, I remember a few of them. Yeah.

[Brooke]

You're on to something there. That's all right, though. I mean, we expected that. Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

We heard about the move that you pulled on our listener where you walked up to her and you, like, had a resume and asked if there was a boyfriend opening. Is that something that you've done a lot?

[James]

Yeah. Yeah, I've done that a good amount.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Can I. Can I guess? How many times is it? 200 times?

[Jeffrey]

So many.

[Leo]

There's no way.

[James]

I don't know about 200.

[Brooke]

I want to know the success rate. How many of those turn into a date?

[James]

They do sometimes. I've definitely met some interesting people.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay. I am curious about that before we get to, like, Justine specifically, like, what are some of the quirky things that you found out while trying this on other people before?

[James]

I mean, there was this one girl who was an extreme couponer. Oh, whoa. I've never met before.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, that's interesting. There are TV shows about people.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, we call them cheapskates, but, yeah, go ahead.

[James]

There's another girl who kept talking about alien abductions, so that was really interesting.

[Brooke]

Was that a turn on for you? I'm curious. Like, it sounds like you're just meeting people to meet weird people. Are you actually looking. Looking for something in this?

[James]

You know, I don't really know what I'm looking for, to be honest. It's just. It's proven to be a great way to meet people. Like, people really respond.

[Leo]

Interesting.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Maybe you're looking for a girl who wears a green romper to a coffee shop and has bright red hair, tells you to sit down for the interview right away when you ask.

[James]

Oh, yeah, thank God you told me what she was wearing, because that. Now I know who you're talking about.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God. Wait, other women ask you to sit down for the interview, too. How else would we find out the aliens? That's a good point, but.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

So now you remember Justine?

[James]

Yeah, Yeah, I remember Justine.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

And what did you think?

[James]

Yeah, here's the thing. I do this a good amount and it's just, you know, it's all over the place, the reactions that I get. But Justine's was like. She was really quick with it and she was. Yeah, she was different.

[Marissa]

Okay.

[James]

I'll be honest, that kind of freaked me out.

[Brooke]

Oh, it did.

[James]

I didn't know how to respond.

[Brooke]

Because she beat you at your own game, essentially, right?

[James]

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.

[Brooke]

Okay, but what does that be? That seems like it'd be a turn on.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

No. Men don't like to be outsmarted.

[Jeffrey]

I was just getting.

[Brooke]

How do they ever meet anyone?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

James, how did. How did you feel talking to Justine like that? Were you scared of her?

[James]

You know? Yeah. Honestly, I just. I never take this thing seriously. It's just. It's just sort of a gimmick. And shoot, for the first time I felt like, wow, this really could be something.

[Brooke]

You can't let your own insecurities stand in the way of that. You want someone who challenges you, who makes you. Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

What's your hold up then?

[James]

I guess I'm just not used to that. I've never, never had that happen before.

[Jeffrey]

So you finally found her and you're like, what do I do?

[Brooke]

That's why you're single, my man.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Like, you don't know how to move forward now that you realize you actually like her.

[James]

Kind of like she might. Like, she might just be quicker than me. I don't know.

[Brooke]

I think she is.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[James]

Yeah. That's terrifying.

[Brooke]

No, I mean, I appreciate the honesty.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

You know what's. If you think that's terrifying, just wait till you hear that. She's actually been listening to this conversation the entire time. It is on the other line right now.

[James]

Are you serious?

[Brooke]

Hey, Scary Justine, try not to scream.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Hey.

[James]

Hey. Justine, come on.

[Marissa]

James, you were like. I thought we had, like, a banter.

[Leo]

We did.

[James]

We did. It freaked me out. I've never had a banter before.

[Marissa]

You have every right to be, like, confident and witty. And the guy that I met could play ball, he could play chess. And I feel like you're just afraid of that. But honestly, you kept up in the conversation. Great. I really enjoyed our conversation. I'm a little sad that now you're backing out.

[James]

I mean, I'm not backing out. I'm just sort of like, frozen. Not sure what to do.

[Brooke]

Okay, okay. This is positive.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Now we need to dethaw you and get you back into action.

[Brooke]

Why did I picture him popping him in a microwave?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Well, whatever we gotta do. She liked your energy when you first met, so just bring that back and talk to her.

[James]

Yeah, I mean, I can definitely do that.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

More confident than that, though.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[James]

Yeah. Justine, I would like that. I would like if we could keep this going.

[Brooke]

Wait, what?

[Jeffrey]

Oh, it sounds kind of timid to me.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Wants a start.

[Marissa]

Can you try to say it a little more assertive, please?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Some flare on it.

[Jeffrey]

James, seriously.

[James]

All right, Justine, let's do this.

[Jeffrey]

All right, let's.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Let's do this.

[Brooke]

I'm not sure. I mean, I thought you guys were going to talk right now. I thought.

[James]

Oh, no, not in front of you,

[Brooke]

dude. You can't ask for interviews. You can't apply to be people's boyfriends and then not.

[Jeffrey]

It's like you put Riz on your application, but you have no Riz.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, show it to us.

[Marissa]

Here's the thing. I think think you do have R. I think you're just afraid of messing up and it keeps you from being bold. Like, you did really well. I think you got in your head.

[James]

I think so. When there are no stakes, it's easy. But now that there's stakes, it's different.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's actually kind of.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Well, it is true. There will be steaks if we pay for them, because we will offer to send you to a steakhouse.

[Brooke]

Really? Yeah. Our gift cards cover them.

[Marissa]

I like free steak.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

And it's going to be an Applebee steak.

[Brooke]

I thought we were going to Sizzlers.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Thanks, but we'd like to send you guys out on one more date that we would pay for. If you're not too afraid. James.

[Jeffrey]

Come on, James.

[James]

Yeah, I would love that.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I feel like if we didn't call and push you into this, then this date never even would have happened.

[James]

Yeah, I mean, we don't know that.

[Brooke]

Well, I mean, we do.

[Marissa]

I feel like we kind of know that.

[James]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Justine, you're still okay with it?

[Marissa]

I am open to a second interview, but he honestly sounds like. Like, pretty different. A lot more timid. So we'll just have to see how a less rehearsed interview goes.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay.

[Brooke]

Was the first one just a show, or is it really who he is?

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, find out.

[Jeffrey]

Let's put in a real world experience.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I'm doing the dating math on this, just like Justine did originally. And I'm saying this relationship's probably at a 5% chance right now higher than

[Brooke]

I was going to give it. So yeah, that's good.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Unless he says something really smooth right now,

[James]

I got nothing.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Okay, it's a 2% chance. Good luck, you guys. It's broken. Jeffrey in the morning.

[Marissa]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Kel Penn]

It's smart to always have a few financial goals and a really smart one. You can set earning cash back on what you buy every day. And with Discover, you can get this. Discover automatically matches all the cash back you've earned at the end of your first year. Seriously, all of it. And we trust you to make smart decisions. I mean, after all, you listen to this show see [e-mail] credit card support

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[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

think they're actually going to meet up for a date? Or did this whole experience just lower his confidence even more?

[Jeffrey]

Yo, I think we broke him.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

I think so.

[Brooke]

He broke himself. I love this. It got guy who's saying I'm handing out boyfriend applications but doesn't actually want a relationship.

[Jeffrey]

I know.

[Brooke]

I'm like, why?

[Leo]

Why?

[Jeffrey]

He's literally all talk and there's a

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

lot of people that go into something with just their first move planned and that's all that he had.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah, you're right, Jeff. That's exactly.

[Brooke]

But it's such an elaborate first move.

[Leo]

It's so good.

[Brooke]

Like why not be. I hope they go out again.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Why do I feel like there's going to be a whole lot more copycat resume guys out there now though. All trying to apply for the open boyfriend position.

[Jeffrey]

Luckily for you ladies, I don't know how to make a resume.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yeah, actually, Brooke, there's a lot of texts coming in at 78592 asking if you have any open positions.

[Brooke]

Sorry, Awful.

[Jeffrey]

Between her husband and Roy.

[Brooke]

Not hiring right now.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

We'll keep you posted on that.

[Brooke]

But I am flattered.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Yes, very much so.

[Brooke]

The bennies are great over here.

[Host (possibly Jeffrey or Brooke's co-host)]

Make sure to email in if you ever want some help with your dating life. We'll call them that person who's not calling you back. And go check out all of our second dates, wherever you get your podcasts at Brooke and Jeffrey.

[Geico Gecko]

And now for a bit of breaking news. Between your breaking news with me, the Geico Gecko, here are some things you ought to know today. People who switch their car insurance to geico save about $900 a year. Experts are calling that. Nice to know. Also, plants can hear when bees buzz. My ficus just heard that. And finally, animal experts have confirmed that goats have regional accents. I'm getting a H Irish there.

[Geico Commercial Voice]

It feels good to get good news. It feels good to Geico.

[Bowen Yang]

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[Brooke]

it matters that we're not just in

[Marissa]

your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you

[Brooke]

when you need us, day or night. And we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack. At cvs, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you.

[Marissa]

Store hours vary by location.

[Geico Commercial Voice]

Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts. You ever wonder how far an EV can take you on one charge? Well, most people drive about 40 miles a day, which means you can do all daily stuff no problem. Go to work, grab the kids at school, get the groceries and still have enough charge to visit your in laws in the next county. But they don't need to know that. And the best part? You won't have to buy gas at all. The way forward is electric. Explore EVs that fit your [e-mail].