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Brooke
Hey, it's Brooke and Jeffrey and you found the Second Date podcast. We've got a new podcast for you today. I think what blew me away is, you know, oftentimes people will leave out things that they did wrong on their date.
Alexis
Yeah.
Brooke
I think this woman omitted what she did simply because it didn't register to her as something bad.
Alexis
No shame. Yeah, right?
Brooke
She should have so much shame. Like, she should have. All of the shame should be on her. You're going to understand here in a second. Let's get some comments though, Alexis. I know a lot of people were heated yesterday or laughing, I guess, over the awkward Tuesday phone call.
Alexis
I saw Ashley a lot of wise. Okay, commented, laughed for 30 seconds straight at Jeffrey's men don't lie quote. Also, he lied.
Brooke
Yeah, that hit close to home for everybody Lies. Yeah, yeah, there it is. There it is. All right, keep your comments coming. Like, subscribe, follow, do the thing. Hey, and give us a rating too. That'd be rad. Well, unless it's bad, then. You didn't hear that. Let's get this new podcast started. It's a second date update.
Jeffrey
Second date update. Are there rules for when you want to veto a date that you don't love?
Brooke
Like, in the planning stages, or are we already on it in the plan?
Jeffrey
In the planning stages. Like, you're looking forward to hanging out with this person.
Listener
Yeah.
Brooke
Yeah.
Jeffrey
But you just aren't thrilled about the activity that they came up with. Like, is there a limit to how many vetoes you get to, like, be.
Listener
Like, oh, you want to do this? No.
Jeffrey
Do you want to do this?
Listener
No.
Jeffrey
Is there a number that you have you can't go over?
Brooke
I think you can't go over one. I think you get one veto and then you start to look picky.
Jeffrey
And do you need to say veto in a fancy accent so it sounds less harsh when you're turning them down? Veto. I only ask because one of our listeners, Britney, exercised her right to Veto. And now she's ended up here with us.
Brooke
Oh, Britney, did you use the wrong accent when you vetoed?
Brittany
I wish I could do a cool accent on your email.
Jeffrey
It says you went out with a guy named Josh and you had to turn down an idea or two. So tell us about Josh. How did you meet him?
Brittany
We met through friend of a friend, so I was already really close to one of his guy friends.
Jeffrey
Okay, and so how did the planning of this date go? Like, run us through that.
Brittany
So we were in between texting, and it was really sweet of him to bring up, like, mini golf, but I just wasn't feeling it. And then he brought up bowling. I honestly wasn't feeling that.
Brooke
So are you, like. I feel like if you veto that, you then have to offer a suggestion yourself.
Alexis
I agree with that.
Brooke
Were you just saying no?
Brittany
Okay, so I was just saying no, and I. Okay, real quick. I will admit I was being kind of a princess.
Jeffrey
You weren't just saying no. You were saying, ew. No.
Brooke
She used that little barf emoji Bowling.
Jeffrey
Gross.
Brittany
It wasn't that bad. It wasn't that bad.
Brooke
So did you finally decide on something to do?
Brittany
Well, we ended up just. He was like, why don't you just come over to my place? It's a big community. Like, we can go for a walk, like, around the neighborhood. And to be honest, that sounded more like I had a stressful work week, like, I'm about it. So.
Brooke
I mean, after feeling high maintenance, now you seem low maintenance.
Jeffrey
Yeah.
Brooke
If that's all you need, you can.
Listener
Just chill and walk.
Brittany
I didn't even think about that, but you're so right. Oh, wow.
Listener
You look good without knowing. There it is.
Brooke
That's a good thing.
Jeffrey
So you agreed to a walk around his neighborhood, and how did that go?
Brittany
It was actually really good. We got along. We had a lot of things in common. We ended up going back to his place, and it was good and bad.
Jeffrey
His place was bad?
Brittany
No, no, no, no, no. His place was nice, actually. Like, it was modern and clean.
Brooke
Okay, you're saying the vibe was good and bad?
Brittany
Yes. Thank you.
Jeffrey
Because I could see you also walking through and being like, veto that painting. Ew. Veto that backsplash.
Brooke
Absolutely not.
Alexis
I don't.
Jeffrey
That is a fair point, actually. Okay, so when you're hanging out with him at his place, what happens?
Brooke
Yeah, what's the good.
Brittany
The good with the banter? Like, again, we just kind of hit it off really well.
Listener
Nice.
Brittany
The bad part, that. Okay, so we put on you the Netflix Show.
Brooke
Wait, isn't that the stalker show? This. And it's supposed to. With Penn Badgley or whatever. Yeah.
Alexis
But it only gets darker after the first season.
Brooke
It gets. Okay, so they're very dark.
Brittany
It was just on and in the background, like, we were talking, watching, and he was sitting all the way on the other side of the couch.
Brooke
Like, oh, no.
Brittany
I don't know if it was the fact that he was shy or what, but it did kind of throw me off. Like, it wasn't the greatest vibe, if you know what I mean.
Brooke
You're yelling across the living room while a show is playing.
Jeffrey
You probably have to yell anyway to be heard over a Netflix show playing in the background.
Alexis
Huh.
Listener
Interesting. So.
Jeffrey
So how did you guys end it?
Brittany
Well, it was getting dark.
Brooke
Yeah.
Brittany
And I honestly, I just kind of. Like, I was getting tired, so I just told him I had to go. No kiss. We did hug.
Brooke
Okay.
Brittany
But when I got to my car, I realized I only brought my sunglasses. Like, I didn't bring my real glasses. So I. Like, I can't drive. Like, I definitely can't drive without my glasses. And so I ended up texting him, like, hey, this is the situation. And he ended up telling me that I could stay the night.
Brooke
Oh.
Listener
Oh, that's nice.
Brooke
Why wouldn't he say, I'll drive you home? That's interesting.
Jeffrey
Obviously, between the two choices, stay the night or I'll take you home. The guy is gonna pick. Yeah, sure. You can have a sleepover. Why are you so against the sleepover? I'm not.
Brooke
I'm just surprised because he's a guy that sat on the opposite room.
Alexis
Yeah.
Brooke
He had all sides of the room from her. It sounded like he wasn't.
Listener
And now's his chance into it, he's.
Brooke
Like, ok, so I'm sure you're getting mixed signals then, right when he asks you, did you stay the night?
Brittany
I did, and I ended up, yes, I did.
Brooke
Oh, and then what?
Jeffrey
What was that? Yeah.
Brittany
Nothing. I just ended up staying the night.
Brooke
It was.
Alexis
But, like, did you sleep on the couch at separate ends again, or.
Listener
That's a good question.
Brittany
Yeah, definitely.
Jeffrey
So our show is so perverted. We want all the details.
Brooke
This is important.
Listener
Something happened, though. She's flustered. Something not major, but something happened.
Brooke
So here's the question. What was it like the next.
Listener
There you go, Brug.
Brittany
No comment. Hey.
Listener
All right. We heard.
Alexis
I don't know if that's good.
Jeffrey
Yeah. Okay, so what's happened? I'm assuming the next day you got back your car you drove home, and then what's happened since then?
Brittany
That's where we're at. Absolutely nothing.
Listener
He's not responding to you at all.
Brittany
At all.
Jeffrey
Well, now when we call him, some of the details about what happened that night might need to come out. If they explain why he's not calling you back, hopefully you're okay with that.
Brittany
We need that. We need that right now.
Jeffrey
The whole world.
Brooke
Okay.
Listener
Be prepared.
Jeffrey
Let's try and get some more details out of Josh when we come back and call him. Try and get you your second date update right after this.
Brittany
All right, thank you.
Jeffrey
All right, hold on. Second date update. It's the classic first date line young people love to use. Oh, I forgot my driving glasses. Can I spend the night at your place? Worked on me all throughout college.
Listener
Oh, and my driving glove and scar.
Jeffrey
Oh, my God, so many. Now, to be fair, our listener Brittany, didn't ask to spend the night over at Josh's house. He offered to let her stay, which.
Brooke
Means he wanted to because there's so many other solutions to figuring this out.
Jeffrey
I'll just call you an Uber.
Listener
But something.
Jeffrey
Ever since then, Brittany hasn't seen any effort by Josh for him to arrange a second meetup with her, which is kind of odd because she says there was. There was a connection there. There was a chemistry, especially when they were bantering with each other.
Brooke
Yeah, except for the moment on the couch. That's moment. Long moments. Yeah, long moments on the couch where they're sitting on opposite ends.
Jeffrey
He just sat in a weird spot and maybe got stuck there. Wasn't sure how to move over. We're not really sure. That's why we need to ask him.
Brooke
And I forgot. Brittany, you said your friends set you up. Have you heard anything from them?
Brittany
Nothing. I've tried to reach out to them, too, and she just keeps saying that she's busy. And then the other guy's like, yeah, we're super busy right now.
Jeffrey
We'll get back to you. That sounds like they're covering for him.
Brooke
Yes.
Josh
Yeah.
Brooke
Weird. I wonder if they didn't know. Like, maybe he's. I don't know. What? Who knows? Let's find out.
Jeffrey
We could have a million questions. It's best to just call Josh and ask. So I'm going to dial his number right now. We'll see if he picks up. Here we go.
Josh
Hello?
Jeffrey
Hey, we're looking to talk with Josh.
Josh
This is he. Who's this?
Jeffrey
Hey, Josh. We're a radio show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Brooke
Hey, Josh.
Listener
Hey, good morning.
Josh
Hey, hey.
Brooke
Hey.
Jeffrey
So hope it's okay if we ask you some questions about your dating life, because we're doing a segment called Second Date Update.
Josh
On the radio.
Brooke
Yeah, they're very specific questions, only about one person.
Jeffrey
A person you went out with recently named Brittany.
Josh
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Brooke
Okay, okay, Okay. I guess we move into the questions.
Jeffrey
So we know a little bit about when you and Brittany hung out. Like, here's a little bit of the background to catch you up, because Brittany was on the show and she told us that she came over to your neighborhood. You guys walked around. Overall, we weren't sure if the date was, like, great or just average, but she did say that she spent the night. We just were not 100% sure what that means.
Advertiser
Yeah.
Brooke
And she's interested in you.
Jeffrey
Yeah. So could you maybe let us in on what's been going on in your head?
Josh
Sure. I mean, I don't know how much she's told you about.
Jeffrey
Well, it's mostly everything. I just recapped for you right there.
Listener
Generic, just general. Did you have a good night?
Josh
It was different.
Listener
Okay, okay, okay.
Jeffrey
It could be different in a good way.
Listener
Yeah, that's.
Brooke
I don't know. Alexis, would you be complimented if a guy says your date was maybe not.
Alexis
The pause for 10 seconds before he answered. Yeah.
Listener
If he was like, oh, it was different.
Brooke
Did she do something weird or wrong?
Josh
So I don't know if. I mean, this is going to look great for her.
Brooke
It's not gonna look great for her.
Josh
You said it's not gonna look great for her. But I mean, if you really want to know where it took a left.
Jeffrey
Turn for me, we really want to know. But more importantly, she really wants to know. And she's agreed to hear whatever the reason is.
Brooke
No, she knows the risks. We out outright warned her that she may hear something that's not super flattering.
Jeffrey
And she was pumped about it.
Brooke
She wasn't. But she's okay with it.
Listener
She's like, I hope so.
Josh
Okay, so we were just watching Netflix, and during the middle, she pulls out her phone, which you know is fine, but then she asked me to come over and look over, and she's basically showing me pictures of her co workers and how fat and ugly they were.
Brooke
Wait, what?
Josh
And just by commentating one by one, and you know, to her credit, she wasn't wrong about all of them.
Jeffrey
But wait, hold on, hold on, wait.
Brooke
She's in her photo gallery being like, look how ugly this person is.
Jeffrey
Like, bad mouthing her own co workers.
Listener
Oh, my God.
Josh
I just. I was just wondering what is going on right now.
Brooke
Oh, my God. Was it a joke that maybe.
Jeffrey
No.
Brooke
Very funny.
Josh
It seems like she has no one to talk to, not to gossip with at work. So I guess this is her way of releasing that information.
Alexis
Gossip. That's just me.
Listener
Yeah.
Brooke
She said she wanted to do something chill because she had a bad week at work.
Jeffrey
Oh. She needed to vent a little bit.
Brooke
She told us that she had a bad week at work, and so she's just venting by. And it was all about people's appearances.
Josh
Yeah, mostly. But also, I think it was just. She was also talking about their performance at work.
Brooke
Yikes.
Listener
I would almost be sympathetic if she was telling you the stories. This girl was mean to me or this thing happened. But not just going, look at this fat person.
Brooke
Yeah. To have a photo gallery of them at the ready.
Jeffrey
I am so impressed with her that she's that organized to be able to bust it out.
Josh
I mean, there was a group picture, and it wasn't a good photo at all.
Listener
Okay, so made it easy to go.
Jeffrey
This collection of people, the way you're describing it to us, earlier, you felt like that was a bad thing for you. That was a red flag.
Josh
I jokingly say it was kind of funny and random, but at the same time, this was not.
Jeffrey
Yeah, okay, but if you were that put off by it, then she told us that you asked her to spend the night and something may have happened between you two.
Listener
Oh, yeah.
Brooke
Because it's more.
Jeffrey
I mean.
Josh
I'm a guy, so.
Jeffrey
Oh, it was a selfless act of you.
Listener
You want to make her feel better, dude.
Jeffrey
Gotcha. Well, yeah, that's what it was like.
Alexis
We even asked him that question.
Jeffrey
What a sweet, sweet man.
Brooke
Yeah.
Listener
Why aren't you thanking him?
Brooke
No, I mean, honestly, she's the worst. Like.
Jeffrey
Yeah, well, she probably felt better afterwards and, like, got it all out of her. She was a joy to work with.
Brooke
The rest of the week.
Jeffrey
And you don't have to believe me on that one, dude, because Brittany is on the other line of this phone call right now wanting to talk to you.
Listener
Oh, yeah.
Brooke
She's gonna call all ugly. Yeah.
Brittany
Real quick. I do. I. I want to talk about that. Like the elephant in the room.
Brooke
Yeah.
Listener
Oh, wow.
Brooke
Okay.
Jeffrey
You know, Brittany, you never brought that up when we talked to you date.
Brooke
Before, which is, honestly, it's worrisome because it means that you found it normal.
Brittany
Yeah, it is absolutely normal. I mean, I. Isn't it better to talk about them behind their Back than in front of their face.
Listener
What the.
Brittany
Right?
Jeffrey
No.
Josh
And also, you went way beyond that. I mean, you were just being so negative and critical of everyone. And I get that you're having.
Brittany
Honestly, you need to shut your trap because I'm so sick of your this. That Judgy, judgy, judgy.
Jeffrey
I'm the one who. She sounds stressed out again, Josh, maybe you need to invite her over.
Listener
We know the trick.
Brooke
She needs to play another round of Hot or not with her co workers.
Alexis
I'm scared when she's going to vent about us.
Brooke
Oh yeah, she's definitely going to be dropping into my dm.
Listener
You want?
Jeffrey
Well, Brooke, you do say a lot of unsavory things about people that work here in private.
Brooke
I have never commented on someone's books before.
Brittany
It is normal. It's a normal thing. And if you create an environment for people to be able to do that, then people are going to do that.
Brooke
So it's their fault that they aren't to your standard of appearance, Brooks words.
Brittany
I mean, to be honest, yes, it is their fault.
Jeffrey
Oh, wow.
Brooke
That is so shallow, Brittany. And like.
Brittany
Excuse me, you're the shallow one, Brooke. Like everybody else saying that you talk all the time.
Listener
Jeff is joking.
Jeffrey
I mean, I'm definitely smiling.
Brittany
I'll say that I regret asking you to help me out with this book. I just. I knew you weren't going to be truthful about it. Like, I just regret.
Josh
Why are you taking a thought?
Brooke
Ugly right then? I don't know why that would have felt better to me.
Jeffrey
Okay, Brooke, I would really appreciate if you stayed out of the second date and brought everybody down with your negativity. We need to focus on helping this couple reconcile and get together for another date. Because, Josh, we would offer to send you out one more time and we would pay for it. Unless it ended up being back at your place.
Brooke
You know what?
Brittany
I'm not interested. This wasn't the way I thought things were gonna be wrapped up and I'm not interested. I'm actually not even interested in this show anymore, so.
Jeffrey
Look what you did.
Brooke
I know.
Josh
You seem quite interested spending the night.
Listener
Yeah, that's why she's calling.
Brooke
Josh. We don't need to go all the way back to the quit while you're at it. That wasn't the burn you thought it was.
Josh
I mean, look, I tried. I tried.
Brooke
I think she's always gonna be meaner than you, so I would just stop while you're.
Jeffrey
Yeah, well, Brittany, hey, thanks again for being on with us. Giving it a shot.
Brittany
Yeah. Thanks for nothing. You can go screw up.
Jeffrey
Well, thank you. I think I'm gonna go do that.
Brooke
So at the wellness room here at the work is.
Jeffrey
That's right. I'm gonna go in there and think about all my fat, ugly co workers. Just have a great time. Okay, that's great.
Listener
I'll join you if you fit.
Jeffrey
Yeah. It's a party.
Brooke
Come on.
Jeffrey
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Well, back from the break room and had a lot of time to mull things over about what just happened.
Listener
Happened.
Brooke
You take listeners so literally sometimes, Jeff. I think that was more of a figurative screw you.
Jeffrey
I thought she had a good suggestion. But I think we all agree that badmouthing your co workers is something you just don't do until date number three. Or until you're in a serious relationship with that person. At the very least, have you honestly.
Brooke
Ever pulled out a picture of someone and talked about how ugly they were?
Listener
No, not like pointing at. Not like, hey, look at this fool.
Brooke
But I'm not gonna answer this question.
Jeffrey
So no surprise their moral compasses didn't.
Brooke
Align and one didn't.
Jeffrey
He was agreeing with her on some of the comments.
Brooke
Well, okay, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Jeffrey
Yeah, you know what? It didn't work out. But maybe she'll appear again on our show during A Blind love is.
Brooke
Oh, she'd be perfect for that. She sounds like looks don't matter to her, so she'd love to meet someone that she'd never seen before.
Listener
Sounds like she's better for. Am I the dream jerk?
Jeffrey
Yeah, there's somebody and a segment out there for everybody. We could probably find your segment if you go on to our podcast. Wherever you get yours at brookeandjeffrey. If you ever need help in your dating life, email the show. We can call that person who's not calling you back.
Brooke
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
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Brooke
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Podcast Summary: "Second Date Update: Date Night Veto"
Podcast Information:
Overview: In this engaging episode of "Brooke and Jeffrey," the hosts delve into the complexities of modern dating through a listener’s experience with a "date night veto." The episode provides a candid exploration of when and how to decline proposed date activities, the impact of such decisions on budding relationships, and the ensuing communication breakdowns that can occur.
Brooke and Jeffrey kick off the episode by introducing the concept of a date veto—a situation where one partner wants to decline a proposed date activity. Brooke remarks, “I think what blew me away is, oftentimes people will leave out things that they did wrong on their date” (00:35).
They encourage listeners to share their experiences and set the stage for discussing Brittany’s recent dating mishap.
Brittany, a listener, shares her story about her date with Josh. Initially, Josh suggested mini golf (02:00), which Brittany wasn't feeling, leading her to veto the idea. Josh then proposed bowling, which she also declined. Jeffrey muses, “Do you need to say veto in a fancy accent so it sounds less harsh when you're turning them down?” (02:08).
Brittany admits she was perhaps too direct: “I was just saying no, and I was being kind of a princess” (03:10). Ultimately, they settled for a walk around Josh's neighborhood, which Brittany felt was a last-minute alternative due to her stressful week.
Brittany describes the evening as initially positive with good banter and shared interests. However, things took a turn while watching a dark-themed Netflix show. Brittany felt uneasy with Josh’s distant demeanor: “He was sitting all the way on the other side of the couch” (04:41).
As the night progressed, Brittany realized she’d only brought sunglasses instead of her prescription glasses, making it unsafe to drive. Josh offered her the option to stay overnight, a gesture that left Brittany confused given the earlier awkwardness: “Why wouldn't he say, I'll drive you home?” Brooke questions (06:08).
Following the date, Brittany finds herself ghosted by Josh. Despite staying the night, Josh has ceased all communication. Brittany expresses frustration, “He kept saying that he's super busy right now” (08:55), leading the hosts to suspect he might be avoiding addressing the real issue.
Brooke and Jeffrey take an active role in seeking closure by contacting Josh directly. Josh reveals that during the date, Brittany was critically discussing her co-workers’ appearances and performances: “She was bad-mouthing her own co-workers” (12:00).
This behavior made Josh uncomfortable, prompting his withdrawal. He explains, “She was showing me pictures of her co-workers and how fat and ugly they were” (12:14). This revelation highlights a significant red flag in Brittany’s behavior that Josh found off-putting.
In an unexpected twist, Brittany joins the call to address Josh’s accusations. She defends her actions by claiming it’s normal to vent about colleagues and accuses Josh of misrepresenting the situation. The conversation quickly becomes heated:
The confrontation underscores the complexities of communication in relationships and how defensive behaviors can exacerbate misunderstandings.
After the heated exchange, Brooke and Jeffrey reflect on the episode’s events. They emphasize the importance of positive communication and avoiding negative talk about others during early stages of dating. Brooke humorously notes, “Ever pulled out a picture of someone and talked about how ugly they were?”
The hosts conclude by reinforcing the podcast’s mission to help listeners navigate dating challenges and encouraging open, respectful dialogue in relationships.
Notable Quotes:
Key Takeaways:
Conclusion: "Second Date Update: Date Night Veto" offers a candid look into the challenges of modern dating, highlighting the importance of communication, empathy, and self-awareness. Through Brittany and Josh’s experience, listeners are encouraged to reflect on their dating behaviors and strive for more positive and constructive interactions.