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Grant
I'm Grant and I'm your new Bachelor.
Brooke
Abc Monday.
Jose
Is this real?
Grant
Is he real?
Jeffrey
The Bachelor is back and the ladies.
Brooke
Are head over heels. Tall, handsome, smart. He's perfect.
Jeffrey
It's an all new season of romance.
Grant
I'm 110% ready to fall in love. My love story is gonna happen.
Brooke
And of course, drama.
Jillian
These other girls are dating my boyfriend.
Brooke
You act like you don't care.
Jose
He knows how I feel.
Jeffrey
I did not know how hard this was gonna be. The Bachelor premieres Monday, 8, 7 Central.
Brooke
On ABC and stream on Hulu.
Zach
Spectrum Business knows that you put in unlimited effort to unlock the unlimited possibilities of your small business. Get Internet, mobile phone and TV services to connect all aspects of your business and see your business made limitless. Learn more@spectrum.com Business Are you still quoting.
Alexis
30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the Now It Pays to Discover. Learn more at discover.com credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report.
Jillian
Where'd you get those shoes?
Brooke
Easy.
Jillian
They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker, and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com hey, you.
Brooke
Found the Second Date podcast. Thank you so much.
I
I found it too. Finally. It's pretty easy, actually.
Brooke
Thanks for being here, Jose. I love it. I love it. And hey, just a reminder. If you want to endure or punish yourself for 45 more minutes, we've got a full show, whole hour long.
D
I dare you to try it at.
Brooke
The Brooke and Jeffrey feed. But for now, we'll get into some questionable relationship advice.
Grant
Second date update for a date. Would you rather be silently ghosted or blatantly canceled on?
Brooke
Yikes. I mean, at least you would know if you're blatantly canceled on.
I
Yeah, but I can make up my own excuse. Like I'm too perfect. Yeah, see, you know what I mean?
Brooke
Is that what you do?
Grant
Ghosted. There's still that, like Glimmer of hope that maybe they got the wrong bar.
Brooke
Or maybe they got arrested or their phone broke.
Grant
Yeah. Because they fell down a manhole and they can't get out.
Brooke
Oh, darn it.
Grant
You can invent a story for yourself there that makes you feel good. But today, one of our listeners, Jillian, thought she had a second date locked down, until she got one very strange last minute text calling it off. And now she's really confused and needs our help. Jillian, welcome to the show.
Zach
Hi. Thank you.
Brooke
Hi. My interest is so piqued. I want to know what that text message says.
I
Someone was direct and you're confused.
Grant
Yeah. So let's start at the beginning of your story. How did you meet this guy? What's his name?
Zach
His name's Zach.
Brooke
Zach. Okay.
Grant
Where did you and Zach meet?
Zach
So we met at a bar.
Brooke
Oh, in real life.
Zach
In real life, yeah. I know, right? Crazy. So it was like, last Friday night. I had been planning on staying in, like, not going out at all that night.
Brooke
That's when it always happens, right?
Zach
I know, right?
Brooke
Which means that you weren't looking your best. You're probably kind of a mess, but yes.
Grant
Okay. It's a little harsh.
Brooke
I don't know. I don't mean that in a mean way.
Zach
I was looking cute.
Brooke
Oh, okay. That's just me that can't remember Brooke.
Grant
My bad, my bad.
Zach
Yeah. Then I had this, like, feeling after I got home from work where I was like, no, you know what? I actually don't want to have a cozy night in. I want to go do something.
I
Oh, that's a good feeling. Always have the feeling to go in. But when you get the feeling to go out, that's so fun.
Brooke
You bring in the good energy.
Grant
Okay, so where do you go?
Zach
So I call my girlfriend. We go to a bar kind of by my place, and we're just hanging out, and then I see this guy, and I, like, I don't usually make the first move, like, ever, but I was kind of, like, listening to their. Not listening to their conversation, but I was at the bar trying to get a drink, I thought you were gonna.
Brooke
Say, but I was kind of drunk, so I did it right there.
Zach
They were talking about the movie Wicked, and I had just seen it, and their opinions were, like, totally wrong. So I jumped in to tell him why he was wrong, but also just, like, to flirt with him and.
Brooke
Okay. Man love to be told they were wrong right off the bat.
I
Don't argue about a man with Wicked either.
D
I just love that it was two guys Arguing over Wicked together.
Grant
Yeah.
Brooke
That's cute.
Grant
I feel like I already know why he's not calling you back, but go ahead. Yeah, no, okay.
Brooke
She was being playful. Come on.
Zach
Yeah, if you, like, touch their arm and stuff, then they love an argument. So anyway, we ended up talking for a while. We went to another bar together, just the two of us.
Brooke
Oh, you ditched your girlfriend. Okay, that's good then.
Zach
Yeah, well, she was kind of done. She was like, yeah, I came out for you, so if you're good, like, bye. And we had plans for a second date. We were gonna go to this bar that has skeeball, and I was gonna beat him at skeeball, and it was gonna be great.
Brooke
Oh, my gosh. So you guys even talked about where and when and all of it.
Zach
Yeah, all of it. And so then here's the crazy part. That morning that we're supposed to go out, I get a text from him that says, I'm on to you. Dates off.
Grant
On to you, on to you.
Zach
I'm on to you. Yeah.
Grant
What does that mean?
Zach
I don't know. I texted him back and I was like, what are you talking about? And then he just didn't answer me.
Brooke
Does he think that you're in a relationship or something? That's the first thing that I think.
Grant
Oh, yeah. We should have asked. Are you currently with somebody?
Zach
No. No.
Grant
Okay.
I
She's like, yeah, with six kids? What is that issue?
Grant
What's wrong with that?
Brooke
And that's so strange too, because you don't have any. Like, it's not like you can ask his friends. You don't know anybody that he knows.
I
Yeah.
Brooke
You know, right, Exactly. If you Google search your name, is there, like, a weird news article that comes up of somebody with a shared name?
Zach
I don't even know if he knows my last name to Google me at all. But also, like, I don't think anything crazy comes up.
I
She's like, my last name's Dahmer.
Grant
I don't. And I swear I paid to have all those articles deleted and scrubbed off.
I
Of the Internet, so.
Brooke
Huh. Mystery.
I
This is a true mystery.
Zach
Yeah. My best guess is that maybe one of his friends, like, thought I was someone else, that they recognized me. You know, like, Dark Bar. I don't know.
I
Oh, yeah. You know what? That's happened in my friend group before.
Brooke
Oh, really?
I
I thought she was some other girl, bro. Never mind. It could be that.
Brooke
Like, a girl from the dating apps or something.
I
Yeah, yeah.
D
It was just so bold, like, and.
Brooke
That you don't follow it up. Like if you're gonna accused, just tell me what I've been accused of.
Zach
Yeah, it's just so frustrating. Like I. I've texted him a few times being like, hey, I don't even need to go out again. I just want to know what are you upset about? And I don't get anything.
Brooke
Oh, well, and you need to know for future dates because what if other men say the same thing and you still don't know what the. You know we're like notorious and you.
I
Have no idea how.
D
Unless you're purposely using him for something. Just tell us now at least.
Grant
Mass texting him makes you sound super laid back and chill so he has nothing to complain about when we call him now and try and ask him why he didn't follow through the second date that you had already arranged with him.
Brooke
When we ask him what the hell that text message meant.
Grant
Jeffrey, let's really pile on and tell him everything he's done wrong in his.
D
Life and that his opinions on Wicked suck.
I
We will beat him into a pulp.
Grant
When we give you a second date update. Coming up right after this second date update. I can't believe we never caught the nursery rhyme connection.
Brooke
What?
Grant
Cuz our listener, Jillian.
Brooke
Yeah.
Grant
Met a guy named Zach.
Brooke
Yeah.
I
Zack and Jill.
Grant
Zack and Jill?
Brooke
You mean Jack and Jill?
I
Yeah, but it sounds.
Grant
It sounds pretty close.
Brooke
Okay, someone flunked. I'm just saying. Someone flunked preschool in this room, and it wasn't me. Okay? It was definitely not Zach.
I
Well, stop trying to rhyme Jack. Okay.
Grant
Sorry for trying to draw a connection. I thought it was a cute story.
Brooke
I did too.
I
They met at a bar.
Grant
They were drinking pails of white claw together.
D
Is that how the nursery rhyme goes?
Grant
Yeah, pretty much. Jill said great to another date and Zach canceled last second.
Brooke
Oh, okay.
Grant
That's where we are today. Like a total jerk, Zach reached out to Jillian the day of their second meetup and said, I'm on to you. Date canceled.
I
So Zach just is fetching a pail of water right now?
Brooke
No, he's rolling down a hill, I think. I thought it was white claw.
I
I got the nursery right now.
Grant
The whole thing is confusing, especially to Jillian, because there was no explanation for what he meant by I'm on to.
Brooke
You that it's so accusatory. I mean, the thing is, is that although, Jeff, you're calling him a jerk, he thinks she's a jerk is what it sounds like.
Grant
Yeah, but we don't know why.
Brooke
Exactly.
I
I'm on to you. We'll raise an eyebrow to anybody.
Brooke
Yes.
I
Walk up to me and say that. Right now I'd be like, what, you feel guilty? Yeah.
Brooke
No matter what. What am I doing? Yeah.
Grant
Yeah.
Brooke
My guess is he's going to be coming in hot.
I
I know.
Brooke
Like, a text like that, it's not going to be a good explanation.
I
I just thought it's. What if it's his tagline? What if he answers it like, I'm on to you. Hello? You know, like, what if that's his thing?
Grant
That's his go to guy phrase.
Zach
Oh, no.
Grant
Yeah, you probably don't want to end up with him. Yeah. Then we hang up. So let's.
Brooke
Yeah.
Grant
Probably not dial his number, see how he answers the phone if he picks up, and hopefully get an explanation. Are you ready?
I
I'm ready.
Zach
That would be great. Thank you.
Grant
So that was a question just to myself.
I
I'm ready when he's talking to Jeff.
Grant
Okay.
Jeffrey
Hello?
Grant
Hey, is this Zach?
Jeffrey
Yes. Who's speaking?
Brooke
Oh, interesting. Hey, Zach, welcome to the show.
Jeffrey
What is this? Hello?
Grant
Sorry. Sorry for that. She was so flirty with that question. This is. They're a radio show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. This is a segment called Second Date Update.
Jeffrey
Okay.
Grant
You could help us because we have a listener who you met up with the other night. Her name is Gillian.
Brooke
You guys met at a bar.
Jeffrey
Oh, my God. Are you joking?
Brooke
No.
Jeffrey
Yeah, she keeps texting me.
Brooke
Yes.
Grant
Right. I can hear you're confused. Can I tell you what we know from what Jillian told us? Because she said you guys met at the bar the other night, you hit it off, ended up separating from your friend group to just hang out one on one, and then arranged a second meetup. Had it all planned out until the day of. She got this cryptic text from you saying, I'm on to you.
I
Yeah.
Jeffrey
Wow. Okay, so she told you a lot.
Brooke
Yeah. Because, I mean, honestly, she has no idea what you're referring to in that text message.
Jeffrey
Well, I can explain that.
Grant
That would be great, because she just does not understand what happened if she did something wrong. We're just trying to give her some clarity.
I
We asked, are you in the middle of some awful dealings? And she's like, I am not in the midst of evil. So you know what I mean. So she has no idea what you're talking about.
Jeffrey
Okay, so the day of the next date, I went back to the bar that we had met at, and this bartender recognizes me and he says, hey, are you hanging out with Jillian again anytime soon?
Brooke
Oh, they know her at the Bar like she's a regular or something.
Jeffrey
Okay, well, that's what I was thinking. So I say, what's going on? How do you know her? And he says that she calls the bar like every night asking if there's any cute guys there.
D
You can do that.
Grant
Oh, really?
Brooke
World just opened up. Are you serious?
Jeffrey
Yeah.
Brooke
She calls ahead of time just to see if it's worth her time to go down there.
Jeffrey
Yeah, not just that place. Apparently she does that all over town.
Brooke
How do you know all over town?
Jeffrey
That's what the bartender said. So I don't know.
Brooke
So are you upset that you were the cute guy that the bartender reported on?
D
Kind of a compliment?
Grant
Or the fact that she calls the bar every single night going out there?
Brooke
Like she doesn't go to the bar every night though.
Grant
Unless there's cute guys.
Brooke
Yes, there's a good rating.
D
Fair enough.
I
That's why she decided to go from I'm staying home to I'm going out. Yes, right.
D
You were worth her going out for. That's a compliment.
Jeffrey
She said that to you?
Grant
She mentioned that the night that she was going out and met you, she was considering staying in, but something changed her mind and she wanted to go out that night instead. Okay, so turns out that something was a phone call to the bar to ask if there's any good looking guys there, but we didn't know.
Brooke
Why does that make you so upset?
Jeffrey
Well, I'm just another cute guy at a bar to her. And it's just kind of shady that she is talking how spicy spontaneous this whole thing was when really she kind of planned the whole thing.
Brooke
Oh, that's interesting. So it feels like you were deceived a little bit.
I
You're saying it's nice to be the cute guy, but now it's like you don't feel special because every night there's another cute guy.
D
I just feel like it's weird. Someone pretends they just met you randomly when they didn't. It's like acting a bit.
Brooke
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Jeffrey
I didn't feel special at all. And it's pretty weird to me now.
Brooke
You should feel special. You're on a radio show.
I
Yeah, she calls us every day though.
Grant
No, she doesn't.
I
She's never called us before ever.
Grant
Actually, she specifically reached out so that we could get in contact with you to find this information out. That should mean something, right?
Jeffrey
I guess. I mean, now you have your reason though.
Grant
Okay, well, thank you for that and we're thankful. But who I think is more appreciative is actually Jillian, who is on the other line listening to this conversation.
I
It does sound like she's, like, always on the other line.
Jeffrey
Oh, my God.
Brooke
She's the only one actually making phone calls these days.
Grant
Jillian, are you there?
Zach
I'm here, and I have quite a bit to say in response to that.
Brooke
Oh, coming in. Hi.
Grant
Good things.
Brooke
Not a I'm sorry. Well, maybe.
Zach
No, I'm not sorry. What did I do wrong? Listen, first of all, I do not call them every night. Like, Friday and Saturday nights.
Grant
Okay?
Brooke
Okay.
Zach
And, like, listen, if I'm at home, I don't want to have to, like, put on pants and, like, makeup, you know, like, just to go to a bar when there's nobody there. And so I'll call, be like, hey, is it popping? There are a lot of guys there. What's going on? And. But. But I was not lying to you, Gu. And I said I almost never approach anybody.
I
Oh, she did mention that to us, Zach.
Brooke
I mean. Yeah. Are you still there, Zack?
I
Yeah.
Jeffrey
I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I mean, she's saying one thing to you guys. The bartender says a different thing than me, so I don't know. This is all kind of shady.
Brooke
Dude, it would have been such a good pickup line to walk up to him and be like, hey, I called ahead of time and they said you were here. You're high.
Grant
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if that's going to go for that.
Brooke
Well, I think it would.
Zach
Yeah, you're right. Maybe I'll just say it.
Brooke
Yeah. I asked for hot guys and they delivered you.
D
I'm so happy to tell us how that goes.
Grant
Not as romantic to a guy's ear as you probably think.
Brooke
I think anyone's looking for romance at a bar, Jeff. They're just looking to talk more.
Grant
Well, clearly someone who is looking for romance is Zach, and he feels like he's not special, that he's just one of many guys. You would have taken any cute guy at the bar that night, and he just happened to be there.
Zach
That is absolutely not accurate. I can see why he would think that, but it's. It's so not true.
I
Okay, well, that's good to hear.
Grant
And look, we do appreciate you coming forward, Jillian, and actually admitting that you did this, because I think a lot of people would deny it or try to, like, be like, no, I've never done that. Yeah, you told us you were gonna stay in, but you had a special feeling. And the special feeling was a call to the bar asking Them to scope out hot guys for you, which Alexis.
Brooke
Is definitely picking up.
D
I think every bar should just start posting who's there online at this point.
Zach
Before you go, Zach, you should feel special. The bartender said there were lots of cute guys, but you were the cutest. And you're the one I talked to, Zachary.
Brooke
Oh, look at that. Stand out. You're a standout cutie, Zach.
Jeffrey
It's just strange to pretend like it wasn't all set up.
Grant
Well, now that all the information is out there, can we book skee ball again and actually follow through with the second date that you had already planned for each other before this misunderstanding?
Brooke
I mean, if anything, Zack, it shows what a on top organization nice woman she is. Yeah, yeah, she's definitely got her her life organized.
I
And if you guys start dating, she'll call the bar and make sure it's all ugly guys next time she goes.
Brooke
That's a good point.
Zach
I haven't called the bar since I met you.
Brooke
Oh, wow.
Grant
So, all right.
Jeffrey
I mean, I'm. I'm willing to try again.
Grant
Okay.
I
Really?
Grant
Yeah. Wow, that was so heartfelt, Zach. I really buy it.
I
I know. I wonder if this is like setting her up to get stood up now.
Grant
Because, Zach, if you actually agree to meet up with her, we will pay for the day date.
Jeffrey
Yeah, I'm in.
Brooke
Okay.
I
Again.
Grant
It just feels like very like you're brushing us off.
I
The guys in the room can feel something's weird.
D
I don't expect big reactions from men anymore.
Grant
Zach, be honest. It doesn't sound like you're actually gonna call her, are you?
Jeffrey
Yeah, probably not.
I
Yeah.
Grant
Okay. I mean, look, now they're both ghosting each other.
I
Oh, they're perfect for each other.
D
It's just like twice.
Grant
Yeah, yeah, two ghosts make a right.
Brooke
It's not it.
Grant
I think it is. Zach and Jill. That's how the fairy tale ends.
Brooke
And Jeffrey in the morning.
Grant
I swear, sometimes you can just tell when somebody isn't fully into it and they're just saying yes to go along with peer pressure.
Brooke
I wanted him to be into it.
I
Yeah, I know, but there was something in his voice. I was like, yeah, yeah, sure.
Brooke
I mean, he was still the hottest guy in the bar. Maybe that's why he doesn't care. He has options.
I
I didn't think of that, bro.
Grant
But if someone's not into it, you don't want to go along with it.
Brooke
That's true.
Grant
Honey, will you marry me? Fine.
I
The deep breath.
Grant
No, the great thing about it is both of them were actually honest. With us. In the end she admitted that she calls ahead to bars to scope cute guys out. He admits he'll say yes to dates when he doesn't really care to actually meet up with him.
D
I just have so many questions for the bartender. Yeah, she tell him her type? Does she give photos I need to know more about?
I
What did she get out of it? She get tipped more?
Brooke
Oh, it's a guy. It was a guy bartender but still.
I
Is he making money?
D
I have so many question.
Brooke
He just gets somebody else to come to the bar. More bodies the better and that's better for him. Bars are always looking for more women.
I
Always.
Grant
All the bartenders out there. Make sure you text into 78592 when you have cute guys in there so Alexis knows where to be and when to go.
I
Even if it's 9am yeah, she'll be there.
D
Clarify what cute means to you.
Grant
If you need help with your dating life, email the show. We'll call that person who's not calling you back and go check out all of our second dates. Up where our podcasts are at Brooke.
Brooke
And Jeffrey Brooke and Jeffrey in the.
Jose
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Episode Title: Second Date Update: I'm Onto You
Release Date: January 24, 2025
Host/Authors: Brooke and Jeffrey
Podcast Platform: iHeartPodcasts
In this episode of Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update, the hosts delve into the perplexing world of modern dating by assisting listener Jillian, who experienced an unexpected ghosting incident after her first successful date. The episode titled "I'm Onto You" explores the intricacies of miscommunication, self-sabotage in dating, and the challenges of finding genuine connections in the digital age.
Jillian reached out to the Brooke and Jeffrey team with a baffling experience. After meeting Zach at a bar and impressively securing a second date, Jillian received a cryptic last-minute text from him stating, "I'm on to you. Date canceled." This unexpected message left her confused and seeking clarity.
Key Points:
Brooke, Jeffrey, and Grant systematically dissect the possible reasons behind Zach's abrupt cancellation. They consider factors such as miscommunication, personal insecurities, and external influences that might have led to Zach's withdrawal.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts uncover that Jillian has a habit of calling bars ahead of time to check for "cute guys," which Zach learned through a bartender. This revelation suggests that Jillian may have been more selective and strategic in her dating approach than initially apparent, possibly leading to Zach feeling undervalued or used.
Notable Quotes:
In a bold move, Brooke and Jeffrey call Zach live on air to seek his perspective. Zach explains that his text was not meant to be accusatory but rather an expression of feeling used, as he discovered Jillian’s routine of scouting bars for potential dates. While Zach asserts his genuine interest, the hosts remain skeptical about his sincerity.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to a broader discussion about ghosting, its emotional impact, and the reasons individuals may choose to abruptly end potential relationships without explanation. The hosts emphasize the importance of clear communication and honesty to foster meaningful connections.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
The episode concludes with Brooke and Jeffrey encouraging both Jillian and Zach to pursue clarity and genuine connection. They suggest that Jillian reflect on her dating strategies and Zach consider what he truly seeks in a relationship. The hosts underline the importance of authenticity and mutual respect in overcoming the pitfalls of modern dating.
Notable Quotes:
"Second Date Update: I'm Onto You" serves as a candid exploration of the complexities inherent in contemporary romantic pursuits. By dissecting Jillian and Zach's encounter, Brooke and Jeffrey provide valuable insights into the importance of transparency, the dangers of preconceived notions, and the significance of building connections based on genuine interest and understanding.
Episode Highlights:
For those navigating the turbulent waters of modern romance, this episode offers both entertainment and enlightenment, reinforcing that behind every ghosting incident lies a lesson waiting to be uncovered.