Second Date Update: Rez Is Back

Summary

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Episode: "Rez Is Back" (April 13, 2026)

Podcast: Brooke and Jeffrey
Main Theme:
In this highly entertaining installment of "Second Date Update," Rez—infamously known from a prior appearance as "the cantaloupe guy"—returns, hoping to decipher why his recent date, Michelle, isn’t calling him back. What unfolds is a comedic deep dive into Rez’s idiosyncratic approach to dating etiquette, splitting things (sometimes too literally), and culinary oddities, all met with the hosts’ trademark sarcasm and lively banter.

---

Episode Overview

Rez, remembered by listeners for an earlier segment where he didn’t know what a cantaloupe was, seeks help after a lackluster first date with Michelle. The hosts revisit his fruit faux pas, tease out the details of his most recent romantic misadventure, and, as always, try to get to the root of why there’s been no second date. The journey reveals much about food sharing, awkward Uber negotiations, and the social perils of “diet culture” on a date.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Return of the "Cantaloupe Guy"

• [04:16] Brooke reminds listeners of Rez’s last appearance:
  Brooke: “That man’s name is Rez. And the last time he appeared on this very segment, Rez did not know what a cantaloupe was.”
• The hosts and Rez share laughter about how, since then, he’s become a running joke among friends and family, now even learning what a honeydew is.

How Rez Met Michelle

• [05:48] Rez describes meeting Michelle at a party and his unconventional approach:
  • He arrived unprepared, without a gift, and asked Michelle, whom he didn't know at the time, if she wanted to split the cost of the gift she was already holding—offering a dinner in exchange.
  • Rez: “I was just like, hey, you want to go half on this gift with me?”
• This quirky move led to their first date.

The Dinner Date: Sharing Food... and Confusion

• [07:07] Rez and Michelle meet at a restaurant and agree (in theory) to share food “like modern people.”
  • The hosts dig into whether sharing dishes on a first date is charming or a red flag.
• Rez insists the “sharing” was mutual.

Flirting with Trouble: The Waitress Incident

• [08:01] Rez believes the waitress was “giving me this look…winking, flirting.”
  • The hosts jokingly debate whether this was real or imagined.

The End of the Night: Uber Etiquette

• [08:45] Rez suggests splitting an Uber, but Michelle demurs, insisting on her own ride.
• Discussion ensues about whether Rez’s offer sounded like an attempt to invite himself over, a cost-sharing move, or just socially awkward.
  • Brooke: “Trying to figure out where she lives. ‘We’ll drop you off first, then I’ll go home.’”
• Rez is unsure whether his directness backfired.

Michelle’s Perspective

• [13:08] Michelle joins the call, clearly less enthused. She describes the gift-splitting opener as “kind of weird” but says she agreed because he was cute.
• At the restaurant:
  • Michelle wanted a crispy chicken sandwich—Rez immediately wanted to split it, but also wanted salmon (which Michelle doesn't like).
  • He then orders for himself, meaning he gets half her meal and all his own.
  • Michelle: “He was going to eat half my meal and then also all of his meal.”
• The chicken sandwich order escalated: Rez asked for “the skin off of it”—despite ordering a crispy chicken sandwich.
  • Michelle: “The waitress is super confused…he still made the waitress go back and was like, ‘Can you just ask the chef if they can do a half crispy, half skinless chicken sandwich?’”
  • Brooke: “That’s the crispy part of the crispy chicken!”

Notable Quote: The Calorie Count Conversation

• [16:07] Michelle: “At the end of the day, the dessert menu comes, and I’m still hungry because he ate half of my meal. And he, like, waves the waitress off and is like, ‘No, like, let’s not have dessert. It’s gonna make us fat.’”
• The hosts are appalled, joking that not ordering dessert is a dealbreaker.

Confrontation & Communication Breakdown

• [16:49] Rez joins the conversation, expressing surprise at Michelle’s recounting of events.
  • Rez: “I’m a little flabbergasted, really, to be honest.”
  • He insists that his sharing/eating behaviors were reasonable, citing “I physiologically burn more calories, I need to eat more calories.”
• Michelle doubles down that the experience was off-putting and why she refused to split the Uber home.
  • Michelle: “Oh, yeah. I bet. 100%.”

---

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Rez on the Waitress:
  Rez: “I found out what a honeydew was.” [05:25]
• On Sharing Food:
  Rez: “This one was mutual.” [07:24] Michelle: “He made the waitress go back and was like, can you ask the chef if he could do a half crispy, half skinless chicken sandwich?” [15:03]
• Dessert Disaster:
  Michelle: “He, like, waves the waitress off and is like, ‘No, let’s not have dessert, it’s gonna make us fat.’” [16:07] Brooke (sarcastic): “Even if he does have both of your health in your best interest. It’s like, absolutely not.” [16:21]
• Rez’s Defense:
  Rez: “I mean, she absolutely could have had half or more than half of my salmon, but she chose not to have any, and that’s a personal problem.” [17:37]
• Michelle’s Take on Uber:
  Michelle: “Oh, yeah. I bet. 100%.” [19:11]
• Rez: “Sad, Michelle. Sad for you, Michelle. Sad for me. We both lose now.” [19:47]

---

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [04:16] - Introduction of Rez and the “cantaloupe” saga
• [05:48] - How Rez met Michelle and the “split gift” move
• [07:07] - The restaurant “share each other’s food” plan
• [08:01] - Rez thinks the waitress is flirting
• [08:45] - The Uber splitting conversation
• [13:08] - Michelle joins, describes her side of events
• [14:59] - The chicken sandwich order chaos
• [16:07] - The dessert “let’s not get fat” comment
• [16:49] - Rez and Michelle speak directly
• [19:47] - Closure: “Sad, Michelle. Sad for you, Michelle. Sad for me.”

---

Conclusion & Takeaways

• Final Outcome: Michelle firmly declines a second date, even when the hosts offer to pay.
• Co-host Reactions: The hosts ridicule Rez’s “half crispy, half skinless” order, his fixation on calorie counting, and see his overall approach as a cautionary tale.
• Rez’s Legacy: He leaves the episode not as “friend of the show,” but downgraded to “mild acquaintance,” with some lingering hope that the original waitress might be available.

---

Notable Closing Banter

• [22:01] Brooke: “Can’t really agree with his dating dinner strategy in any form.”
• [22:07] Jeffrey: “Any man who does not like dessert…”
• [22:39] The idea of “half healthy sandwiches from Rez” is floated as a joke product.

---

Tone and Style

The episode is light-hearted, filled with sarcasm, quick-witted digs at Rez, and playful banter among the hosts. The directness and absurdity of Rez's requests provide endless fodder for jokes, while Michelle’s candid recounting grounds the story in cringe-worthy reality.

---

For listeners, “Rez Is Back” delivers a hilarious cautionary tale about taking "splitting" too far, and the importance (and peril) of making a second impression.

Transcript

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[Jeffrey]

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[Jeffrey]

Hey, it's Brick and Jeffrey, and you've got a brand new second date episode today with a return player.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Is that how we can call it?

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Yeah, we can.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Usually we'd say a fan favorite, but I don't know after the end of this one.

[Jeffrey]

I know, I know it's a lot. You'll hear it here in just a second. But we love to start with your comments. Cause it means the world to us that you take the energy to write us.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

You know we read it.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Yeah. And Keeler's world took to write a sassy little comment here. Omg. Tee hee. My name is Blah blah and I'm from the Underworld. I listen to your show all the time in the depths of hell while I torture sinful souls. Hee hee. Listen to you 10 times through now. And on my 11th run. OMG. Standard red comment. Come on, Alexis. I need some substance. I listen to this show on the Daily and I want that comment tee from the last episode, not some shout out to Joe Schmo over in Indiana.

[Jeffrey]

Look, we got people all over the world and underneath the world.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

There you go.

[Jeffrey]

Listening. Thank you to the Underworld for tuning in.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

I will try to up my comment game. Yay.

[Jeffrey]

There it is. Yeah. Space consequences that you don't want to.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Seriously, I'm kind of scared. Yeah. All right.

[Jeffrey]

Hey, here you go. Your brand new second date starts right now. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

[Brooke]

Two years ago, on this very show, one man made an astounding discovery.

[Jeffrey]

Really?

[Brooke]

That man's name is Rez. And the last time he appeared on this very segment, Rez did not know what a cantaloupe was.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

So many listeners commented too, that they didn't know. From other countries.

[Brooke]

Yeah. He knew it was some kind of fruit.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

But he'd never really learned that name before. And unfortunately, or fortunately for us, it was exposed right here. Well, for everyone's entertainment.

[Jeffrey]

Because the thing is, is like out of the country, people didn't know that. But he's from the U.S. oh, yeah.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Yeah, he probably shouldn't know that, but

[Brooke]

it did cost him a chance at love that day. Good news is this is a new day and a new opportunity to find romance.

[Jeffrey]

A new fruit, I'm gonna say. A new ripe melon is what I'm gonna say. Let's go, Jeff.

[Brooke]

With that healthy, fresh, optimistic outlook, let's welcome Rez back to the show. How you doing, man?

[Rez]

Yeah. Hey, guys.

[Jeffrey]

Dude, what was it like after you became the cantaloupe guy on our show?

[Rez]

I mean, a whole new world of possibilities open for me. I found out what a honeydew was.

[Jeffrey]

I figured that you never heard the end of it from all friends and

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

family, but I. I figured Dole hit you up. You have an endorsement now.

[Rez]

You know what? Maybe we should give them a call together. That's our next call, guys.

[Brooke]

All right, we'll work on that after this. But first, apparently, there's a new woman in your life. Tell us about her.

[Rez]

Yes. Well, we met Michelle through a friend at a party.

[Jeffrey]

Okay.

[Rez]

And I'm not normally like this, but I got there last minute, and I didn't realize everyone had brought gifts. And I like to be hospitable and whatnot. And so I was just, like, searching for the closest answer to my problem. And the girl I was standing next to happened to be Michelle. I didn't know her at the time, but I was just like, hey, you want to go half on this gift with me? And she just, like, said, okay, wait.

[Jeffrey]

On the gift she was holding in her hands?

[Rez]

Yeah.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

I love when friends let me do that with them. I'm like, can you throw my name on it?

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

I think it's humorous to just be like, hey, stranger. Yeah, like, that's really funny.

[Jeffrey]

Did you Venmo her half the cost?

[Rez]

Well, the thing was, I was just like, I'll take you out for a nice dinner instead. How's that?

[Jeffrey]

Good.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

That's very smooth, brother.

[Rez]

This girl, she passes the res cuteness scale. Anything above 7 on a weeknight wins.

[Jeffrey]

She was winning on a week.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

On the weeknight part.

[Brooke]

Is it higher or lower on the weekend?

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

It's probably lower on the weekends.

[Rez]

Okay, Exactly.

[Jeffrey]

So she. She went out with you, then?

[Brooke]

She did, just to get back the payment of having given up half of her gift. She was basically forced to.

[Rez]

But, yeah, hey, whatever works, guys. Whatever works.

[Brooke]

Tell us about that.

[Rez]

So we met up at a restaurant, and we decided to share each other's food. Like modern people at a modern restaurant.

[Jeffrey]

There you go. Shareable place.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

She was on board of this Was you again? Asking for pretty much everything.

[Rez]

To be fair and clear, we were both kind of looking at each other's food. So this one was mutual.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

That's common at restaurants, too.

[Jeffrey]

Did I force my husband to do it?

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Everywhere we go out, tell him you're getting this.

[Jeffrey]

I'm like, I want both of those things.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

So just ordering two meals for you.

[Brooke]

Brooke, what was the connection with Michelle like?

[Rez]

The connection was really good. We were having great conversation. We were laughing, you know, we were talking about the party and the people we met, and she was giving me the gossip about the people she knew. Hey. And everything was, like, really good. But I don't know. The waiter. She was kind of giving me this look.

[Jeffrey]

What do you mean?

[Rez]

She's, like, winking, like, flirting with me. She's, like, batting her eyelashes at me.

[Jeffrey]

Wait, the waitress was flirting with you, you think?

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Rez]

And paying, like, a lot of attention to me.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

I want to know the percent of men it works out for when they think the waiter's flirting with them.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

It is true.

[Jeffrey]

You think that it may not have been the case?

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

I always think it.

[Jeffrey]

Did your date pick up on that?

[Rez]

No, but I was just like, hey, is this lady. This lady hitting on me or.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, you said it to her.

[Rez]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Jeffrey]

And what was Michelle's response?

[Rez]

She didn't really have the shoes. Like, oh, I guess, maybe.

[Jeffrey]

So kind of like Alexis's response.

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Let's go to the end of the night. How did you leave things with Michelle?

[Rez]

It was good, you know, at the end of the night, I thought we could split an Uber ride home.

[Brooke]

Oh, split the Uber, too.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. Okay.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Love sharing.

[Brooke]

Wow. All right.

[Jeffrey]

Did you?

[Rez]

Well, no, because, like. And also, like, I was not asking to go to her place. I was just saying, you want to, like, hit your place, then mine.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, but it sounds like. When you say that, it sounds like you're inviting yourself over to me.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Insinuates.

[Brooke]

Or at least, like, trying to figure out where she lives. We'll drop you off first.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

That's a good one.

[Brooke]

Then it'll take me home.

[Rez]

Maybe that's what happened. I don't know, because she was just like, no, she had to take her own and didn't really explain. And that was, like, a week ago.

[Jeffrey]

She may have read, like, the waitress comment as a red flag, and then maybe she read your question wrong at the end, too.

[Rez]

Yeah, I don't know. I thought I was pretty upfront and clear about things.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Okay. But that may be the problem. It's like, Hey, I think the waitress is hitting on me. Let's get an Uber home. Like, it could be a forward guy,

[Jeffrey]

even though that's not your intention.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Right?

[Rez]

Clear. Communications. Pretty sick. Yeah.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

So sick at communicating. That's true, bro. So we're gonna communicate on your behalf to Michelle. Real quick, though. I am curious. The waitress on the Res cuteness scale, where does she land?

[Jeffrey]

Why would that matter? Are you looking for a backup plan already for him?

[Brooke]

I'm just. It could play into, like, how intimidating

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

if he rejected a 10, it's a big deal.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

She was intimidated.

[Rez]

Well, it's tough to say because it ended up being on a weekend.

[Brooke]

Oh, that affects the ratings.

[Rez]

So, really, like, on the weekend, anything goes.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Oh, no.

[Jeffrey]

So it doesn't matter.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

There's no scale on the weekend.

[Brooke]

Numberless.

[Rez]

All right.

[Brooke]

Yeah, she's.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

She's a letter.

[Jeffrey]

Well, are you regretting your question?

[Brooke]

Yeah, no, he's. He's a great communicator, like he said.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

So make sure to not go out on the weekends with Red.

[Brooke]

Exactly.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

We'll offer a weekday date with Michelle when we get her on the line for your second date update right after this. Hold on, man.

[Jeffrey]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

[Brooke]

It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And we have a special guest back on with us today. His name is Res. And he's done second dates with us before, actually.

[Yasso Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

This time, though, he met a woman named Michelle who isn't calling him back. Met her at a friend's party, took her out to dinner, where apparently he was getting eyed by the waitress.

[Jeffrey]

No, that's what he thought. The waitress never actually made a move.

[Brooke]

Yeah, still, him and Michelle had good conversation over dinner, but she did refuse to split an Uber with him at the end of the night, which is not a good sign. So it's been a week since they spoke, and he's here today searching for some much needed answers. Rez, how you feeling, bro?

[Rez]

Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Jeffrey]

Okay.

[Rez]

You know, I think things will work out for Res. They always do.

[Jeffrey]

We're doing third person Y. Do you think it's just a simple misunderstanding, or what's your theory?

[Rez]

It's got to be. Or maybe she's just, you know, maybe tad insecure about the waitress thing, but hopefully we can settle her nerves there, and I'll take her out again, and it'll be okay.

[Jeffrey]

Ah, it's a favor you'll do for her.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

The best way this goes down, we get her on the phone and she's like, we had the most beautiful waitress in the world and I was just so jealous.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

She was so into him. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

I could never compete with her. So I'm not calling him back.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's totally going to happen.

[Jeffrey]

That sounds right. Right, Rez? Yeah.

[Rez]

I mean, it doesn't sound wrong. Okay.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

I like you. Of course you do.

[Brooke]

We all know who we are. A flirty bunch.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

It could be any of us.

[Brooke]

Anyway, let's call Michelle and we'll see if she picks up and has some answers for us. Here we go. I'm going to dial her number.

[Michelle]

Hello?

[Brooke]

Hey, Michelle, this is Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. How you doing?

[Jeffrey]

Hey, Michelle.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Hey, good morning.

[Michelle]

I'm sorry, who?

[Jeffrey]

Hey.

[Brooke]

Yeah, we are Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, a radio show. And we're doing a segment right now. It's called A second date update.

[Michelle]

What? Wait, why are you guys calling me?

[Brooke]

This is. Oh, I already said what it is. We're calling you. We're calling you because one of our listeners asked us to reach out to you.

[Jeffrey]

And we promise we've done literally thousands of these.

[Brooke]

That's why everything starts to blend together in our brain. I remember this guy. His name's Res.

[Michelle]

Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I know. I know who you're talking about.

[Brooke]

Yeah, you met him at a party through friends and yeah, he took you out to dinner.

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Jeffrey]

Okay. Your tone definitely changed during.

[Brooke]

Yeah, it sounds like you absolutely adore this guy. Am I reading that right?

[Michelle]

Totally love him.

[Brooke]

Sarcastic, like me. I like that. We do want to know, what was your impression of Res?

[Michelle]

Like, just in general at the party or. I mean, I think. I guess we can just, like, cut to the restaurant part. Like, he took me out to dinner because we, like, split this gift. Which was, like, also kind of weird that he was like, let's just. With the gift.

[Jeffrey]

Right, the gift that you bought for the party.

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

But you thought. I mean, I would assume you thought that was funny or cute way to set up a date.

[Michelle]

Yeah, I. I mean, I thought he was cute. So I was like, sure, let's do it. Okay. We went up to the restaurant and I was like, want to get the crispy chicken sandwich? And immediately he was like, oh, good, we can split it.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Were you excited about that? Because that's kind of a couple's thing.

[Michelle]

Yeah, I mean, sure, that's fine. Like, I'm. I'm down to split things. But then he was saying that he wanted to get the salmon and I mean, I don't really like fish. So I was like, well, I can't really split the salmon because I don't really like salmon. And then he was like, oh, well, that's fine. I'll just eat it myself.

[Jeffrey]

What? He made it sound like you guys split the salmon and the sandwich.

[Michelle]

I was like, that's weird that he's going to eat half my meal and then also all of his meal. But then the waitress came over to take our order, and he wanted to get the crispy chicken, but can you get the skin off of it?

[Brooke]

What?

[Jeffrey]

That's the crisp.

[Brooke]

The crispy part of the crispy chicken.

[Michelle]

Yeah. And then, like, the waitress is super confused and is like, you mean the crispy part? And he's just like, yeah, like, that's a normal thing. But then he still made the waitress go back and was like, can you just, like, ask the chef if he could do a half crispy, half skinless chicken sandwich? Half.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

That was, like, half. Oh, no.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

That is so extra.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Dude, is this when the waiter started flirting?

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's right. We did hear the. According to Rez, the waitress was being a little bit flirtatious with him.

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God.

[Michelle]

No, she was definitely not flirting with him. She was giving him attention because she was like, this dude is so annoying.

[Jeffrey]

If you had taken the food issues out of your date, do you think you would have liked him?

[Michelle]

I mean, no. Like, that's a whole weird thing. And then at the end of the day, the dessert menu comes, and I'm still hungry because he ate half of my meal. And he, like, waves the waitress off and is like, no, like, let's not have dessert. It's gonna make us fat.

[Jeffrey]

Make us fat. Did he say that?

[Michelle]

Yes.

[Jeffrey]

He literally said, oh, if we knew

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

that, we wouldn't even call.

[Jeffrey]

I could never be in a relationship with someone who waves dessert,

[Brooke]

even if he does have both of your health in your best interest. It's like, absolutely not.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Isn't that the goal, to get fat together in a.

[Jeffrey]

Yes. Thank you. Happy and plump.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Let's go.

[Rez]

Okay.

[Brooke]

I think we're seeing at least some of the issues that you had with Res during this.

[Jeffrey]

He's seeing them.

[Brooke]

I'm wondering, too, because we do need to break the news to you, Michelle. Rez is on this phone call right now, listening on the other line, waiting to talk to you.

[Michelle]

Wow.

[Rez]

Yeah, it's Res. I'm here.

[Brooke]

Coming in. Awful chipper after what she just said about you.

[Rez]

I. Well, you know, I'm a little flabbergasted, really, to be honest.

[Michelle]

What Are you flabbergasted about. That is wild that you have me on the radio talking about how you wanted half crispy, half skinless chicken sandwich. Like what? And also like I.

[Rez]

To be fair, I didn't bring that up.

[Michelle]

You did. What?

[Jeffrey]

What do you mean she brought it up? She brought it up as a problem? Is that what you're saying?

[Rez]

Yeah, exactly. Like, I didn't bring that up on the radio. It's not a big deal to me. She.

[Michelle]

You.

[Rez]

Michelle brought it up because it's not

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

a deal to you.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

It's your preference.

[Jeffrey]

Res. You didn't share a meal with her. You ate half of hers. That was a big difference.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

And you tried to custom order it for yourself.

[Rez]

I mean, she absolutely could have had half or more than half of my salm, but she chose to not have any, and that's a personal problem.

[Brooke]

That's a fair point. Did you consider asking for half salmon, half steak?

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Oh, yeah.

[Brooke]

To customize his order.

[Michelle]

That's crazy.

[Brooke]

So your half could have been meat and his half could have been fish.

[Jeffrey]

The way you share a meal is you both decide on two plates that you each want to try.

[Brooke]

Yes, according to you.

[Michelle]

Exactly.

[Rez]

Well, I mean, we're trying to watch our figures here, you know,

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

what are you saying we for, bro?

[Rez]

I care about you, Michelle.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Oh, watching her weight.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

You ate a meal and a half

[Brooke]

so that she wouldn't have to.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Yeah, what the heck?

[Brooke]

It's a courteous move.

[Rez]

Yeah, I mean, I. Physiologically, I burn more calories, I need to eat more calories.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Science, it's there.

[Brooke]

Hard to argue.

[Rez]

And you know what? To be fair to me, really, because this is all sounding very unfair, I could have peeled the crispiness off of your side of the chicken, but I didn't.

[Jeffrey]

What?

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Oh, what a gentleman.

[Geico Gecko]

Wow.

[Jeffrey]

You'd reach over and touch her sandwich she's about to eat?

[Brooke]

Yes, to save the calories of the skin.

[Jeffrey]

Gross.

[Rez]

Yeah, exactly.

[Michelle]

Absolutely not. No. I don't know where your hands have been. You're so weird.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah. Rez, this is not a good look for you, my man.

[Rez]

I'm. I mean, the proof is in the pudding, guys. Devil's in the details.

[Jeffrey]

What? That doesn't apply here.

[Brooke]

Michelle, is. Is this whole thing the reason why you wouldn't say, split the Uber with Rez home?

[Michelle]

Oh, Yeah, I bet 100%.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

All the evidence out there it is.

[Jeffrey]

Also the whole reason she's not calling

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

him back, you know, he would have been like, drop me off first and have her pay for it.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Have her walk for our health.

[Michelle]

He would have got that help so messed up.

[Brooke]

That's so considerate. Really. So at this point, I would love to offer to send the two of you out on another date. And you don't have to split anything. We will fully pay for the entire experience.

[Michelle]

You guys, I. I can't. Yeah.

[Brooke]

Yeah, you can't or you don't want to?

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Like, I can't

[Rez]

Sad, Michelle. Sad for you, Michelle. Sad for me. We both lose now.

[Brooke]

You always have that waitress that was eyeing you at the restaurant. Rez, you can go back there. Try again.

[Rez]

This is true. This is true.

[Jeffrey]

That poor waitress.

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

Do not encourage that job.

[Jeffrey]

Aaron, Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US and that's for household names like skims, you know, Kim Kardashian's brand or Heinz Mattel even. And if that's you, then let Shopify help. You can get started with your own design studio that has hundreds of ready to use templates. And then Shopify will help you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. They've even got your back in terms of a marketing team fully behind you. You can easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Get that walking. And best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. See less cards go abandoned and more sales go with Shopify and their shop pay button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com brooke that's B R O O K E. So again, it's shopify.com Brooke that's shopping.

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[Brooke]

after that one we might have to downgrade Rev from friend of the show to mild acquaintance of the show.

[Jeffrey]

Somehow still too close for me.

[Brooke]

Yeah, can't controlling. Can't really agree with his dating dinner strategy in any form.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

No, none of it.

[Jeffrey]

I'm sorry. Any man who does not like dessert Is is off. Yes, off my leg.

[Brooke]

Definitely for Brooke. But what if somehow he starts a new food revolution and he invents half healthy sandwiches where one half is breaded and fried and loaded with mayo's and cheese, the other half plain, skinless, totally healthy.

[Jeffrey]

And you know what though my husband would love that.

[Brooke]

To split or just to eat himself?

[Jeffrey]

No, he would just eat the non breaded. Nasty side. I'd eat the good stuff.

[Brooke]

Yeah, look for them at Trader Joe's. Half healthy sandwiches from Res.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Yeah it's like half deep fried, half cauliflower bun, half sandwich with flavor.

[Brooke]

Yeah, but we've got a full show with plenty of flavor. You can go find it up online wherever you get your podcast. All of our second dates are there.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

It will raise your cholesterol for sure.

[Brooke]

It's at Brooke and Jeffrey.

[Inner Balance Advertiser]

If you're feeling off fatigue, mood changes, skin shifts, yet your labs say everything's normal. You're not alone. Meet Oestra from Inner Balance. The first all in one prescription strength bioidentical hormone cream that's natural and effective and only takes one drop, 10 seconds a day. Oester replaces five to six products women typically use to treat symptoms and is third party tested to ensure the highest quality. Visit innerbalance.com today to start feeling like yourself again. That's innerbalance.com this is Bowen Yang from

[Bowen Yang]

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[Bowen Yang]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big Wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgment. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway.

[Co-host (possibly Keeler)]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[WebMD Host]

of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required Intro rate first three months only, then full price

[Co-host (possibly Alexis)]

plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[WebMD Host]

See full [e-mail].