Second Date Update UPDATE: We Built This Thing Together

Summary

Podcast Summary: Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update – "UPDATE: We Built This Thing Together"

Episode Information:

• Title: Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update – UPDATE: We Built This Thing Together
• Host: iHeartPodcasts
• Release Date: February 27, 2025
• Available On: iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify

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Introduction

In this episode of Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update, hosts Brooke and Jeffrey delve into the complexities of modern dating by revisiting the journey of one of their listeners, Rob, and his relationship with Maggie. The episode explores the challenges of balancing personal preferences with romantic gestures, the impact of communication styles, and the quest for authentic connections in the dating world.

Rob and Maggie: The Initial Connection

[03:33] The episode begins with Rob reaching out to Brooke and Jeffrey, seeking advice after experiencing a sudden shift in his budding relationship with Maggie. Rob describes Maggie as someone who doesn't drink, smoke, is 100% vegan, and maintains a strict bedtime routine ("must be in bed every night by 8:45 PM"). Despite these specific preferences, Rob found Maggie endearing and appreciated her wholesome nature.

Notable Quote:

Rob [04:09]: "I just found it endearing. I thought she was kind of wholesome and not really the type of girl that I would normally go for."

The First Two Dates: Promising Beginnings

[05:10] Rob recounts their first two dates, which took place over a weekend. Their outings were tailored to Maggie's lifestyle, opting for ramen and vegan ice cream instead of the typical bar scene. These dates went smoothly, ending with a long hug and Maggie suggesting another date.

Notable Quote:

Rob [05:24]: "She was probably impressed that you, like, put some effort in to find a place that could fit her."

The Turning Point: Over-the-Top Romance

[07:53] The relationship took an unexpected turn when Maggie sent Rob a Spotify song, "We Built This Thing Together" by Starship, signaling her desire for a deeper commitment. Rob, not being a fan of the song, expressed his honest feelings about it, inadvertently affecting their budding relationship.

Notable Quote:

Rob [07:28]: "I'm not really into the song, though. I'm not really a big fan of it, and that totally changed things for her."

Brooke and Jeffrey Mediate

[08:32] Sensing Rob's confusion and concern over Maggie's sudden disengagement, Brooke and Jeffrey step in to mediate. They reach out to Maggie to understand her perspective, aiming to bridge the communication gap between her and Rob.

Maggie's Perspective: Seeking Grand Romantic Gestures

[12:00] Maggie shares her expectations of romance, expressing a desire for grand gestures akin to fairy tale romances. She felt that Rob's reaction to her romantic song indicated a lack of alignment in their romantic languages.

Notable Quote:

Maggie [12:08]: "I want someone who's sweet. So I want you to send me messages and let me know that you appreciate me, because that's my love language is affirmations, words of affirmation."

Attempted Reconciliation: Finding Middle Ground

[15:05] Rob acknowledges his mistake and apologizes for his blunt response to Maggie's romantic gesture. Brooke and Jeffrey encourage him to find a balance between being genuine and meeting Maggie's romantic needs without overstepping.

Notable Quote:

Rob [15:05]: "I wanted to apologize for blowing off your song. I didn't realize that it meant so much to you."

Second Date Update: Over-the-Top Efforts Backfire

[17:16] Encouraged by Brooke and Jeffrey, Rob attempts to rekindle the relationship by implementing grand romantic gestures, including a 20-person flash mob and a horse-drawn carriage ride. Despite his efforts, Maggie distances herself, feeling that Rob is not being authentic.

Notable Quote:

Maggie [18:20]: "I learned something about myself and that I just really don't like low effort guys. But I also don't like the super over the top, cheesy high effort guys either."

Final Reconciliation: Embracing Authenticity

[19:05] Realizing that extremes on either side are unsustainable, Rob creates a genuine photo scrapbook highlighting their time together. This heartfelt gesture resonates with Maggie, leading to a tentative reconciliation where Rob commits to being more balanced and authentic in his romantic expressions.

Notable Quote:

Rob [19:05]: "I made her this photo scrapbook of pictures of us. There's only like two pictures, but she liked it."

Conclusion: Lessons in Modern Dating

The episode concludes with Brooke and Jeffrey reflecting on the importance of authentic communication and finding a middle ground in romantic expressions. They emphasize that while grand gestures can be impactful, genuine efforts tailored to mutual understanding are crucial for building lasting relationships.

Final Insights:

• Authenticity Over Extremes: Striking a balance between being genuine and meeting a partner’s romantic expectations is essential.
• Effective Communication: Honest and clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and foster deeper connections.
• Understanding Love Languages: Recognizing and respecting each other’s love languages can enhance relationship compatibility.

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Additional Resources:

• Listen to the Full Episode: Available on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.

Support the Show:

• Second Date Update Merchandise: Proceeds support LA Wildfire relief efforts through Convoy of Hope. Buy Here (Link provided in show notes).

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This episode of Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update offers insightful perspectives on navigating the delicate dynamics of modern relationships, illustrating the fine line between effort and authenticity in the pursuit of love.

Transcript

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[Brooke]

It's always kind of a special week when we get an update. Update. Yeah. So today we get a check in with one of our iconic second date update couples. And you're gonna hear that in just a second. But first I gotta say thank you to Matthew who wrote us on our second date Spotify page. And it says here's why I got a second date Update hoodie. Oh. One, he's got bullet points. I like it. One, great conversation starter. Oh, yeah. Two, look sick. Okay. Really does. And three, it goes to a cause.

[Amica Voiceover]

It's a win, win, win.

[Brooke]

I mean, honestly, they're so cool right now. And 100% of proceeds, like we said, from every sale go to help LA Wildfire relief efforts, thanks to Convoy of Hope. So, again, if you want to buy second date update Merch, the link is in our show notes. Right, Alexa? Putting it there right now. Okay, perfect. And thank you. Enjoy your update Update. It starts right now.

[Amica Voiceover]

Second date update. Sometimes in the dating world, you realize the ideal person that you have built up in your mind isn't necessarily the ideal person for you in real life.

[Brooke]

Oh, yes.

[Amica Voiceover]

Rip that right out of Brooke's wedding vows to her husband. That could be the case for our listener Rob today. Well, you said him, who says he met a different type of woman than the one he would normally go for. And he described her in the email as someone who doesn't drink.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Amica Voiceover]

Doesn't smoke, is 100% vegan, and must be in bed every night by 8:45pm.

[Brooke]

Disciplined woman.

[Amica Voiceover]

How did you let this party animal slip through your fingers?

[Rob]

Yeah, I don't know. I just found it endearing. I thought she was kind of wholesome and not really the type of girl that I would normally go for, but.

[Brooke]

It'S interesting because it could be wholesome or it could be that she's done all those things so much that she can't do them anymore. You know what I mean?

[Amica Voiceover]

I didn't consider that on the party life. Okay, well, what's her name?

[Rob]

Her name's Maggie.

[Amica Voiceover]

How'd you meet her?

[Rob]

We met online, but I just thought her pictures were so natural. She was very naturally beautiful. The pictures weren't photoshopped and she wasn't out at the club. It was kind of pictures of her hanging out with her friends, and I just thought it was nice or it.

[Brooke]

Was such good Photoshop you didn't notice. But, you know, can I ask, are you any of the things she is, like, dry, you know? No. Smoking. Vegan?

[Rob]

No, not at all.

[Amica Voiceover]

It could be an opposites attract sort of situation where you, like, mesh together over time. That smoke cigars and eat bacon?

[Brooke]

Yeah. I mean, it could be the reason she's not calling him back. Not to, like, rush.

[Amica Voiceover]

Well, what'd you guys do for when you guys went out?

[Rob]

Well, it was weird. We went on two dates back to back over a weekend.

[Amica Voiceover]

Well, that makes sense because she has to be in bed by 8:45, so there's not very much time for that first one.

[Brooke]

Wait, how did that work?

[Rob]

Well, so she doesn't like to drink, so we got ramen, and then we went and got ice cream.

[Amica Voiceover]

Oh, yeah.

[Brooke]

Took the vegan to ice cream.

[Rob]

Well, I learned that they actually have vegan ice cream now.

[Amica Voiceover]

Oh, cool. So you checked it. I mean, ew to me, but for her, that's great.

[Brooke]

Like, coconut milk ice cream.

[Amica Voiceover]

Sounds great.

[Rob]

Yeah, and it actually tasted pretty good.

[Brooke]

She was probably impressed that you, like, put some effort in to find a place that could fit her.

[Amica Voiceover]

So how did date number one end?

[Rob]

So there was no kiss at the end, but there was, like, a long hug. She actually suggested that we go out again the next day.

[Brooke]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Amica Voiceover]

That's good. That she suggested.

[Brooke]

Yeah, no kidding. So what'd you do the next day?

[Rob]

So the next day I was like, you get to pick where we want to go. So we went to a vegan restaurant.

[Brooke]

Cool.

[Amica Voiceover]

O.

[Rob]

Okay.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God. I'm not vegan, but one of my favorite places to eat is a vegan restaurant in my neighborhood.

[Rob]

Scary.

[Amica Voiceover]

Like, I'm a foodie, and even someone going, you want to go to a vegan restaurant? It's kind of intimidating. Well, maybe it's like the ice cream shop where they have the one vegan option for the people. They have one meat plate for the meat eaters.

[Brooke]

That usually how the vegan restaurant works.

[Amica Voiceover]

That's weird. Off menu, we have a really bloody steak. How was it?

[Rob]

I mean, it was okay. I didn't mind it.

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay. They have, like, buffalo cauliflower bites.

[Brooke]

How is the connection between you two?

[Rob]

I mean, after that date, we definitely kissed.

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay. Yeah, your first two dates sound like they went great. So what's happened since then?

[Rob]

Well, so then after the dates, she starts texting me. And like, it's text like, I can't wait to see you. There's a lot of love gifs and memes about love, and she was really accentuating the love aspect of everything. And, you know, it was a little bit much.

[Brooke]

I don't get why he's on with us. If it was freaking you out, she.

[Amica Voiceover]

Now not calling you back.

[Rob]

Yeah, well, what happened was she sent me a Spotify song. It's a song by Starship called We built this thing together. I don't know if you guys know that song.

[Amica Voiceover]

We built this dream together. Heaven lasts forever Nothing's gonna stop us the old guy in the room. That's a good song.

[Brooke]

No, I know that song.

[Amica Voiceover]

Everyone knows that song.

[Brooke]

She trying to, like, force couple's song already?

[Rob]

Oh, yeah. Like, what have We Built? We were on two dates.

[Amica Voiceover]

Wait, did you say that to her?

[Rob]

Well, I said, oh, that's a nice song. I'm not really into the song, though. I'm not really a big fan of it, and that totally changed things for her.

[Amica Voiceover]

Yeah, you slammed her taste in music.

[Brooke]

No, she was trying to convey something. It's like when I used to make mix CDs and, like, put in secret songs for different dudes I liked and be like, yeah, I know that one hit.

[Amica Voiceover]

You're right. Yeah.

[Brooke]

You basically turned her down by not liking the song, which is good.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Honestly.

[Brooke]

Maybe she needed to get back to reality.

[Amica Voiceover]

But you said that changed things between you two.

[Rob]

Yeah, I mean, I wasn't trying to put her down. I just a little confused by it.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay, you're being honest.

[Brooke]

So what do you want our help with? Do you want another date or do you not?

[Rob]

Yeah, I just want to see where she's at, and I hope I didn't offend her. And I just want you to check for me.

[Brooke]

I see. I see.

[Amica Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Maybe if she knows how you feel, she can lay off the love gifts and the songs.

[Amica Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Yeah. I don't know how to tell her that. Politely. If she is that kind of person, I don't necessarily want to change her, you know?

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay, we'll have Brooke tell her to cut that crap out. We'll do the second date update for you right after this second date update.

[Brooke]

You're in the middle of a second date update update. And we're going to find out how the couple is doing right after you hear part two.

[Amica Voiceover]

Man. We're back to the 1980s again.

[Brooke]

Is this the song?

[Amica Voiceover]

The Decade of love.

[Brooke]

Wow.

[Amica Voiceover]

Sixteen Candles. Dirty Dances.

[Brooke]

Wow.

[Amica Voiceover]

Ghost. All the best love movies.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Amica Voiceover]

I can honestly say that we built this thing together. Nothing lasts forever.

[Brooke]

Why does it actually.

[Amica Voiceover]

Nothing's gonna stop us now. Yeah, that's a song. Unless Maggie doesn't answer the phone, then that would kind of stop us and we'd be screwed.

[Brooke]

Are you all forgetting it's a song that she sent to him.

[Amica Voiceover]

It's from the 80s. This is the song from the 1980s that kind of soured the relationship after Rob went on back to back dates with Maggie, both of which went great, but this Spotify song ruined it because Rob said, I'm not really a fan.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Amica Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

I mean, it's pretty cheesy, but Brooke.

[Amica Voiceover]

Had a good point. He Was trying to say I don't really like this song. Maybe Maggie took it as he doesn't like my love. He's rejecting our relationship.

[Brooke]

That's how I would take it.

[Amica Voiceover]

But that's not the case. That's why Rob has reached out to us, hoping we can re. Spark this, get this going again. Maybe do a little ghost love scene situation. Right, Rob?

[Rob]

That's right.

[Brooke]

Pottery class. No alcohol, very vegan.

[Amica Voiceover]

You know, be perfect shirtless, though. And you behind her back.

[Brooke]

Are you wanting to apologize to her for your response?

[Rob]

Yeah. I mean, the way you put it, I guess I kind of see it, like, I was being a little rude. So, yeah, I would like to apologize.

[Amica Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Cool.

[Amica Voiceover]

Well, we don't know for sure if she took it that way. That's just Brooke's opinion, and you know how valuable that is, so you had.

[Brooke]

To throw a dig in there.

[Amica Voiceover]

I'm just saying we don't know. Yeah, that's all I'm saying.

[Brooke]

That's totally what you're saying.

[Amica Voiceover]

Let's find out once and for all. I'm gonna call it right now. Here we go.

[Maggie]

Hello?

[Amica Voiceover]

Hi. Is this Maggie?

[Maggie]

Yes, this is she. Who is this?

[Brooke]

Oh, okay.

[Amica Voiceover]

We gotcha. Don't yell. We gotcha. Sorry. I mean, I'm. I'm happy that you answered, is what I meant to say.

[Brooke]

Here.

[Amica Voiceover]

We're a radio show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we've been dying to talk to you.

[Maggie]

Okay, for what? I mean, why? What's going on?

[Amica Voiceover]

Because we're doing a segment here called A Second Date Update, and it's where we try and help out our listeners if they've kind of stalled out in their dating life with somebody we're trying to help. Somebody named Rob.

[Maggie]

Oh, yes. Rob. Okay, I see.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God. Rob said you. You had two great dates together.

[Amica Voiceover]

Yeah, he actually told us that he felt really good about it. How did you feel?

[Maggie]

I felt really good about it, too. I felt like we had this instant connection and potential to really go somewhere. I was really, really excited to keep things going with him.

[Brooke]

That's so sweet.

[Amica Voiceover]

That's good.

[Brooke]

Okay. Was there something that made that change? Because it does sound like you're talking in past tense.

[Maggie]

Well, I mean, I'm the type of person who wants a guy who's going to be my Prince Charming and come in and ride in on the horse and profess his love to me and just go all out, and then we ride off into the sunset together.

[Amica Voiceover]

You like grand romantic gestures. That's what you like?

[Maggie]

Yes, exactly.

[Amica Voiceover]

That's totally fair. It could be a lot, though, for some guys to process that after just one weekend hanging out, you know? And not a lot of guys are romantic at all.

[Maggie]

Well, they should be. And I made that very clear on my profile.

[Brooke]

Oh, really?

[Amica Voiceover]

It's on your profile?

[Brooke]

What'd you say? On your profile.

[Maggie]

I want someone who's sweet. So I want you to send me messages and. And let me know that you appreciate me, because that's my. My love language is affirmations, words of affirmation. So I love giving those out, and I want that back in return.

[Amica Voiceover]

Got it. Okay. And you feel like Rob was not fulfilling those needs for you.

[Maggie]

Correct. Especially came down to where, you know, I sent him what I felt was our first, like, love song, our potential first dance. And I just envision us already there.

[Brooke]

You know, so that would be a lot for anyone.

[Amica Voiceover]

So we did hear about that text and the song being sent to him. Honestly, here is what I worry about for you, Maggie. Along the way in your life, you've come up with this idea for a fairy tale romance in your mind.

[Brooke]

Okay. And if not, therapy hat right now. I see.

[Amica Voiceover]

It's totally okay to have these, like, ideals in your head, but you have to be able to adjust to other people because no one is going to match up perfectly with everything that you said.

[Brooke]

Justine. I mean, she was already going out with somebody who wasn't a vegan. She was already going out with somebody that drinks when she doesn't.

[Amica Voiceover]

But she said the problem was he didn't like one song.

[Brooke]

No, she said the problem was he wasn't romantic.

[Rob]

Jeff.

[Amica Voiceover]

But the thing is, that's the conversation you have to go off of the two great dates that you guys had together. That is not easy to do in the modern dating world. We never hear about that. That's special. And that's something that you should actually hold on to. Not that he didn't like a song that you texted him one time. Do you know what I mean?

[Maggie]

I can see. I mean, it was just my favorite song, and I just. Since we were getting.

[Brooke]

Yeah, you can hear it. And I think Jeff's playing right now.

[Amica Voiceover]

Too easy for people to just ghost right now on these dating apps over one dumb little thing. You have to remember two great first dates. Hold on to that. Cherish that.

[Brooke]

What did you drink this morning, Brooke?

[Amica Voiceover]

I don't need your love hate right now. I'm trying to build a love tower. And that's why.

[Brooke]

I know.

[Amica Voiceover]

That's why I Need to tell you, Maggie, Rob is on the phone right now. You like a grand romantic gesture? Here it is. He is waiting to talk to me.

[Rob]

Hey. Hey, Maggie. How you doing?

[Maggie]

Hi, Rob. I'm. I'm good. How are you?

[Rob]

Good. You know, I just. I wanted to apologize for blowing off your song. I didn't realize that it meant so much to you. But you know, I hear what you're saying about being more romantic. It's. You know, we've only been on two dates, so maybe I need a little bit of a buildup. Take my time a little bit.

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay. Rob's a little bit more of a slow burner, but he's willing to burn a little bit faster for you.

[Maggie]

Well, I mean, I do appreciate that. And I felt like I was very transparent on my profile. I can't change who I am. And I would appreciate if you could try a little more.

[Amica Voiceover]

Brooke's been saying that same thing to her husband for the last 10 years.

[Brooke]

Try a little harder.

[Lenovo Voiceover]

Absolutely.

[Brooke]

I think every woman has said it in any room relationship you've ever been in.

[Maggie]

Rob, if you could send me kind of a love song, what would it be?

[Rob]

It'd be that song Maggie by Rod Stewart.

[Brooke]

My mom loves Wake Up Maggie. That's just her name, right?

[Amica Voiceover]

Yeah, I think that's after Maggie leaves.

[Brooke]

Him one night stand.

[Amica Voiceover]

Super romantic though.

[Rob]

Guys, I'm trying, all right.

[Maggie]

I don't know.

[Amica Voiceover]

We just actually got Ron Stewart canceled.

[Brooke]

What's amazing is he's not scared away right now. I mean, that is. Honestly, I don't know if you're gonna find that.

[Amica Voiceover]

We'd like to offer to send you guys out one more time. And we would pay for it.

[Rob]

Oh, absolutely.

[Maggie]

Yeah, let's do it. That'd be great.

[Amica Voiceover]

It's true what they say.

[Brooke]

What do they say, Jeff?

[Amica Voiceover]

You can build this love together. Some things do last forever. Nothing's gonna stop us now. Except we're running out of time to do the second date update, so we gotta stop it.

[Cheap Caribbean Voiceover]

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

[Amica Voiceover]

Months ago, we convinced them to give it another try. And it sounds like they did. Cuz both Rob and Maggie are back with us today on the show.

[Brooke]

Oh my God. I vote them most likely to be in a relationship. Yeah, well, they just, you know, she needed the effort and he sounded like he was ready to deliver.

[Amica Voiceover]

Let's find out. Rob, were you able to step up the romance for Maggie?

[Rob]

Yeah, I think I was. You know, after being on your show, like, she pretty much told me she wanted me to be more Romantic.

[Amica Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Rob]

So we went on a second date and I kind of went over the top. I think I hired. I hired like this 20 person flash mob.

[Brooke]

What?

[Amica Voiceover]

Wait, a flash mob?

[Lenovo Voiceover]

Whoa.

[Rob]

Yeah. Yeah. And then after that, I hired this horse drawn carriage.

[Maggie]

What?

[Rob]

To take us back home. Dude, I had her favorite song playing on my phone. You know, we built this thing together.

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay, but we. We asked. Did you. Did you do anything romantic, though?

[Brooke]

Oh, my God. I bet Maggie was over the moon.

[Amica Voiceover]

That's so.

[Rob]

Well, after I did all that, she didn't talk to me for like two weeks.

[Brooke]

What?

[Amica Voiceover]

Wait, what?

[Brooke]

Why?

[Maggie]

Yeah. Well, he was trying way too hard and I could tell he wasn't being himself and I didn't want that.

[Amica Voiceover]

You said he wasn't trying hard enough when we had you on the phone before.

[Brooke]

Aren't you like Goldilocks and the Bears or something with the porridge? Like, pick a temperature.

[Maggie]

It's true.

[Rob]

It's true.

[Maggie]

But honestly, I really. I learned something about myself and that I just really don't like low effort guys. But I also don't like the super over the top, cheesy high effort guys either.

[Brooke]

Yeah. Has he struck the right chord by this time?

[Maggie]

Right. Well, yes. And so I did ask. Can you just be in the middle? Just be yourself and kind of meet in the middle and be perfect.

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay. Sure. Rock. Were you able to do that?

[Rob]

Yeah. I made her this photo scrapbook of pictures of us. There's only like two pictures, but she liked it, Right?

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay.

[Cheap Caribbean Voiceover]

Three would have been too many.

[Amica Voiceover]

Yes.

[Maggie]

Yeah, I think it was really sweet just to start. And I liked it. It was genuine. I thought it was really cute.

[Amica Voiceover]

It's like a scrap pamphlet. Yeah.

[Brooke]

You guys are together then still?

[Rob]

Yeah, I think so. I hope she likes me. It's kind of hard to calibrate here.

[Amica Voiceover]

He's trying not to come on too strong with his affirmation. I'm not sure.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Rob]

Yeah, well, you know, I'm trying and I'm also not trying. And so I'm keeping it in the middle.

[Amica Voiceover]

Okay.

[Brooke]

All right, you keep it mid.

[Amica Voiceover]

There you go. Jeffrey in the morning.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 25th. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible beverage items like Powerade, Monster and Poppy, or breakfast items like Quaker Instant Oatmeal or General Mills cereals, plus many more. Then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Maggie]

Clorox Sentiva smells.

[Amica Voiceover]

Like grapefruit, cleans like Clorox and feels like y.

[Brooke]

We could be here all day.

[Cheap Caribbean Voiceover]

Try Clorox Scentiva for a trusted clean with long lasting freshness. Also available in lavender and coconut.

[Amica Voiceover]

Use as directed.