Podcast Summary: Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Episode: Textual Healing: Take A Dip In Rent
Date: February 19, 2026
Host: iHeartPodcasts
Episode Overview
This episode of the Second Date Update series, specifically the "Textual Healing" segment, centers on helping a listener named Cali navigate a tricky situation with her apartment manager. Cali wants to stay in her beloved (but expensive) apartment, but a looming rent increase threatens her plans. The twist? She recently witnessed her new property manager in an awkward and less-than-glamorous moment. The team—Brooke, Jeffrey, and their co-hosts—guide Cali through crafting the perfect text message to secure a rent break, infusing the discussion with their signature humor, listener banter, and playful advice.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Cali’s Dilemma
- Setting the Stage: Cali explains she can barely afford her apartment and fears she’ll have to move if the rent goes up (06:04).
- Quote (Cali, 06:14):
“Low key. I need them to reduce the rent by at least $100 or I’m going to have to move.”
- Quote (Cali, 06:14):
- The Awkward Encounter: Cali describes meeting the new, attractive manager, Dave, as he retrieves a dead rat from the pool (07:50).
- Quote (Cali, 07:54):
“He’s scooping a rat, a dead rat, out of the pool.”
- Quote (Cali, 07:54):
The Textual Healing Plan
- Strategizing the Outreach: The team brainstorms how to approach Dave over text—should Cali flirt, use humor, or leverage her rat sighting as subtle social leverage? (08:36–10:17)
- They debate whether to use playful banter or empathy, with suggestions ranging from flirting lightly to bonding over the “rat incident.”
- Brooke (10:35):
"Here’s my idea to incorporate everything that we’ve learned here. Hey, Dave. Dave. I’m that blonde girl who said gross when you pulled the rat out of the pool. And later, maybe you can come by and we can have some ratatouille. What do you think, Dave? Smiley face." - Jeffrey, riffing on jokes (10:42):
“What if the ratatouille joke is, I haven’t been able to cook anything all week because that rat was the one teaching me?”
Drafting and Sending the Message
- Creating the Text: They settle on:
- “Hey Dave, it’s Cali from apartment… the blonde who said gross when you fished the rat out of the pool. Just wanted to welcome you to the building. Ratatouille at my place. 🐀” (11:05–11:29)
- Group Reaction: Despite reservations, they agree the message is likely to get a response. (11:33–11:42)
Dave Responds—Negotiation Ensues
- Dave’s First Reply (13:22):
- “So you’re the tenant who saw me pull the rat out of the pool. You’re joking about the ratatouille, right?”
- The team encourages Cali to clarify the joke and segue into her rent reduction request directly (14:01–15:07).
- Cali’s next text:
“Hey Dave, yes, ratatouille was a joke. I’m actually in a situation. I could use your help. My lease is coming up, and I need to find a way to reduce it by at least $100. Any ideas?”
- Cali’s next text:
- Dave’s Suggestions (16:01):
- “Well, you could get a roommate. That would reduce it by a lot more than $100. Or we could see if we can move you into a smaller unit facing the back alley.”
- The hosts riff on the "rat view" and brainstorm further, keeping the mood playful.
Turning Point—Rat Patrol Negotiations
- Cali counters with a humorous take (16:41):
“Ha, ha, Dave, I don’t need a view of more rats. Is there any way I could stay in my same apartment and pay less?” - Dave’s Final Offer (17:47):
- “I don’t think there’s any way you can stay here and pay less. Unless you want to help me get rid of the rats.”
Cali’s Response and Resolution
- Hosts and Cali joke about becoming the apartment’s “rat patrol” (18:06–19:53).
- New Offer from Dave: Ant infestation needs attention as well (19:15).
- Host quips: “You work there too?”
- After escalation and negotiation, Dave agrees:
- Cali (20:10): “Dave, Dave—Dave just texted back. Deal.”
- Brooke (21:19): “Now you’re the rat lady in the building.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)
- Cali, on desperate finances (06:14):
"Low key. I need them to reduce the rent by at least $100 or I’m going to have to move." - Jeffrey, on negotiation (07:11):
"I was joking about negotiating rent prices. I don’t actually know that we’re the best people for that." - Cali, about meeting Dave (07:54):
"He's scooping a rat, a dead rat, out of the pool." - Brooke, on text crafting (10:35):
"Here’s my idea...Hey Dave. Dave. I’m that blonde girl who said gross when you pulled the rat out of the pool. And later, maybe you can come by and we can have some ratatouille." - Dave's response By Text (13:22):
"You’re joking about the ratatouille, right?" - Brooke, about being direct (15:12):
"But you want an answer, so go for it. And it’s a business relationship right now." - Dave, on the new arrangement (17:47):
"Unless you want to help me get rid of the rats." - Realization moment (21:19):
"Now you’re the rat lady in the building." – Brooke
Segment Timestamps
- [05:20] – Cali joins the show and details her predicament
- [07:50] – Describes the pool rat incident with Dave
- [10:35] – Crafting the first text together with the team
- [13:22] – Dave’s first response
- [15:07] – Cali directly asks for help with her rent
- [16:01] – Dave suggests getting a roommate or moving to a smaller unit
- [17:47] – Dave proposes the “rat patrol” deal
- [19:15] – Dave pivots to mention an ant infestation
- [20:10] – The team and Cali celebrate as Dave finally agrees to the arrangement
Tone & Style
- The conversation is playful, irreverent, and conversational, filled with quick banter, inside jokes, and comic relief even as it deals with real-world anxieties about housing and rent.
- The hosts keep the mood light, often poking fun at themselves and the absurdity of the situation, while also genuinely trying to help Cali.
Final Thoughts
Resolution:
Cali ends up agreeing to help with pest control (rats and possibly ants) in exchange for reduced rent, humorously crowned the “rat lady” of the apartment building.
Memorable Moment:
The segment showcases the lengths people will go for affordable housing—and the eccentric twists negotiation can take (especially with a supportive, mischief-loving team).