Hey, it's Dave—and on this episode of Building a Better Dave, I talk all about the weirdness that is Halloween in my neighborhood lately. As October rolls in, I've noticed a crazy escalation in skeleton yard decorations. What used to be simple six-foot skeletons have turned into these massive twelve-foot giants. I can't help but wonder if this is just the middle-aged version of keeping up with the Joneses.

Halloween itself has always struck me as strange, especially when you factor in how expensive candy has gotten (seriously, $15 a bag now?!) and how we've all just accepted feeding our kids mountains of sugar as tradition. Confession: If I buy a bunch of candy, I'm probably just going to eat it myself, which is why I might skip handing it out altogether and let myself get "tricked" this year.

This episode, I also reminisce about the good old days of Halloween pranks—TPing houses, knocking and running, and my brother's infamous police escort home after getting caught. My dad was definitely not amused. It feels like those harmless pranks just don't happen anymore—probably because today's doorbell cameras have killed the fun.

Of course, I have to mention bobbing for apples, which, looking back, is basically waterboarding with fruit. Pump enough apple cider into a kid and you end up with what I like to call the "Runs" (and I list every synonym I can think of—because why not?).

And what's up with every costume needing to be "slutty" these days? Slutty nurse, slutty librarian, even slutty Daffy Duck! Not sure when that trend started, but it seems to get more out there every year.

I wrap up by admitting I bought a new Christmas tree—when all I intended was a little four-foot tree, I walked out with a seven-and-a-half foot beauty. Honestly, I think I'm trying to recapture one of my favorite childhood memories: coming in from the snow, curling up in front of the tree with a thick blanket and some hot chocolate from my mom. That feeling of safety just sticks with me, especially as the holidays get closer.

Hope you enjoy my holiday ramblings, stories of waterboarding for fruit, and my skepticism about modern Halloween. Until next time, hang in there—it's going to get better.

Highlights:

Giant skeletons and the one-upmanship of Halloween decorations
The economics—and temptations—of Halloween candy
How doorbell cameras ruined classic Halloween pranks
Bobbing for apples: my take on this bizarre tradition
The rise of "slutty" costumes and my bewilderment
Reflecting on the holidays and chasing those cozy, safe memories

Did this episode make you laugh,cry, think, or groan? Consider buying Dave a coffee.