Building Resilience – Episode Summary

Episode Overview

Title: 10 Signs You're Stuck In Survival Mode (And How To Get Unstuck)
Host: Leah Davidson
Date: April 9, 2025
Theme:
Leah Davidson, a certified life coach and nervous system resilience expert, explores what it means to be "stuck in survival mode." She breaks down ten signs of nervous system dysregulation, explaining how this state shows up in daily life, and shares three practical, science-backed methods to regulate your nervous system, move beyond mere survival, and reclaim your sense of safety, connection, and vitality.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

What Is Survival Mode?

• Leah opens with a vivid analogy:

  "Your nervous system gets stuck in survival mode. It's like a smoke alarm going off in your house all the time... even when there's no fire." (00:13)

• Many people aren’t even aware they're stuck in this state—they just get used to chronic stress, anxiety, and exhaustion.

10 Signs You're Stuck in Survival Mode

Leah details the most common ways dysregulation manifests, both emotionally and physically:

1. Always On Edge

• Constant anxiety, scanning for problems—“It’s like anxiety that just doesn’t quit.” (07:08)
• Fast talking, moving, eating; racing thoughts; shallow breathing.
• Feeling unable to relax even during downtime.

2. Feeling Numb or Shut Down

• “You don’t feel sad, you don’t feel happy... you just don’t feel anything.” (09:01)
• Total disconnection—a form of hypoarousal (body's shutdown state).

3. Reliance on Quick Fixes

• Reaching for food, drink, endless scrolling, or obsessive workouts to feel a temporary sense of control.
• “When the only way you can feel calm is by numbing out... your system is telling you it's stuck.” (10:02)

4. Overachieving & People-Pleasing

• Saying yes when you mean no, pushing past limits, always staying busy.
• “Real safety doesn’t come from doing. It comes from rest, connection, and boundaries.” (12:40)

5. Continued Burnout

• “Burnout isn’t about being tired. It's about feeling disconnected... that deep, nothing I do matters anymore kind of exhaustion.” (14:44)
• Despite burnout, feeling unable to stop or slow down.

6. Physical Tension/Pain

• Chronic muscle tension, headaches, gut issues, or other pain that seems unrelated to medical causes.
• “Your nervous system... really does live in your body.” (16:45)

7. Sleep Disturbances

• Inability to fall or stay asleep, waking up unrested even after hours in bed.
• “Your sleep is very representative of your nervous system during the day.” (18:06)

8. Overthinking and Replaying Conversations

• Obsessive mental loops—worrying about social interactions or mistakes.

9. Zoning Out/Disconnection from Life

• Autopilot living, dissociation (not remembering your drive, feeling life is happening but you're not part of it).

10. Difficulty with Boundaries & Emotional Regulation

• “Maybe one minute you feel fine and then the next, something small sets you off… When your nervous system is dysregulated, it's much harder to regulate your emotions and set boundaries because your body is stuck in a reactive and protective state.” (22:31)

How to Get Unstuck: 3 Science-Backed Techniques

Leah shifts to empowering action steps for regulation:

1. The “Safety Sequence” (23:47)

A three-step check-in to interrupt the stress response on the spot:

• Step 1: Am I safe, right now?

  “99% of the time the answer is yes. This simple question sends a powerful message to your nervous system.” (24:40)

• Step 2: Do I feel safe?
  Shift attention into the body, scan for tension or numbness. Notice sensations.
• Step 3: Acutely relax the body
  Try the "ragdoll technique"—release tight muscles for five seconds, imagining going limp like a ragdoll.

  “A body that is relaxed cannot hold stress.” (26:16)

2. Move Your Body (27:22)

• Movement discharges stress.
• For “fight or flight”—move to process the restless energy; for shutdown/disconnection—gentle movement to wake up the body.
• Simple activities: shake hands, bounce in your chair, sway, go for a slow walk or stretch.

  “Movement helps release it.” (29:14)

3. The “Physiological Sigh” (29:45)

• A rapid way to shift your nervous system out of stress.
• How it works:
  • Inhale deeply through your nose, then take another small inhale (“like a quick sip of air”) at the top.
  • Exhale slowly and fully through pursed lips.

• “You can use this anytime before a meeting, before bed, before a stressful conversation. It really takes seconds and the impact is huge.” (30:52)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It’s not normal for us to be feeling anxious all the time, or exhausted all the time, or disconnected all the time… Well, we may have gotten used to it, but it’s still not normal.” (05:25)
• “Your nervous system is just stuck. And the more you understand your nervous system…the more you can help your nervous system be flexible—go back and forth to a state of calm and connection and resilience.” (32:14)
• Empowering reminder:

  “If you recognize yourself in any of the 10 signs that we talked about today, I just want to remind you—you’re not broken.” (31:43)

Major Timestamps

• 00:13 - Introduction to survival mode analogy
• 05:25 - “It’s not normal…”: Chronic stress is not baseline
• 07:08 - Ten signs of nervous system dysregulation begin
• 23:47 - Science-backed steps to get unstuck
• 29:45 - Physiological sigh demonstration
• 32:14 - Closing encouragement and reminders

Tone & Style

Leah is compassionate, direct, and practical. She uses relatable metaphors—like the ever-blaring smoke alarm—to make neuroscience accessible. Throughout, she emphasizes self-compassion: “This is not about shaming yourself. We all do this.” (10:26) and drives home the message that dysregulation is fixable, not a personal failure.

Summary for New Listeners

If you've noticed constant stress, exhaustion, disconnection, or emotional swings, you might be in survival mode—an automatic default of your nervous system. Leah Davidson walks you through the ten most common ways this shows up in daily life, reminding you that you're not alone and that feeling this way isn't "just how things are." She provides three simple tools—checking your safety in the moment, engaging in any movement, and using a specific breathing reset—to help you shift your nervous system out of survival and back into resilience and connection. Her approach is practical, science-based, and rooted in self-compassion, offering a hopeful path to building a calmer, more robust self.