← Building Resilience
Loading summary
Transcript79 lines
- [00:00]
A
Have you ever wondered why food can feel so loaded? Like you can't trust yourself around it? Or like certain foods have all the power? What if those struggles weren't about willpower at all, but actually signals from your nervous system? Little dashboard lights telling you it's time to check in with your body? Welcome to the Building resilience podcast. Episode 247, the Nervous System side of your relationship with food. Welcome to Building Resilience, a podcast where theory, practical strategies and inspiring stories show you how to unlock your best life. I'm your host, Leah Davidson. As a certified life coach, speech language pathologist and nervous system resilience expert, it is my mission to teach you how to be more resilient to life's adversities. I will show you how to manage your mind, befriend your nervous system, process your emotions, and even eliminate stress. It's time to do more than just survive. It's time to thrive. Let's get started. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. I am excited to share this episode with you today because we are talking about food and it's not a topic that we've covered a lot on the podcast. Although next week we're going to take a different angle and we're going to talk more about gut health. And if you haven't already picked up my IBS nervous system reset, you might want to do just that. That because the nervous system is closely tied to your gut and it's also very tied to food. So today I'm joined by special guest Jane Pilger. She is a coach who has spent years helping people move from fighting with their bodies to working with them. She empowers those who felt out of control around food. Whether through binge eating or restriction or just confusion about their own behaviors, she's helped them to develop food, food freedom and body trust. Her approach is science based, trauma informed and deeply compassionate. I hope that you enjoy this conversation. Welcome to the podcast. I am so excited to have Jane Pilger with me here and I have been wanting to have this conversation because we haven't talked a lot about food on this podcast. We've dabbled here and there, but I'm going to let Jane introduce herself and what her specialty is because I am excited to take this discussion all things nervous system and food and binging. So Jane, go ahead and introduce yourself.
- [02:34]
B
Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here as well and to have this conversation. My story really does revolve around food and really binge eating specifically and a Lot of times when I start talking about binge eating, some people, before we even dive in, I just want to say this really quick. If people are like, binge eating, I don't know. I don't know if that's me. I don't know if I binge. Is this for me? If you have any challenges with food at all? If you ever just kind of feel like, ugh, why did I eat that? Or why do I show up the way that I do with food sometimes? Or why do I feel out of control with food sometimes? There will be something in this episode for you, so please don't just skip, because you don't really resonate with binge eating specifically. But for me, binge eating really was kind of what my experience was. And my first year of college, I had my first binge, and I binged on a care package filled with little mini candy bars that was sent to me. And I don't really remember the binge itself, but what I remember so clearly is the aftermath. I remember sitting on the floor of my dorm room with that empty box and empty candy bar wrappers all around me and just thinking, what have I done? I could not believe that I had eaten the entire box. And I was so ashamed. I did not want anybody to know. I was so concerned about what people thought of me and kind of the outward appearance. And I really wanted to have this appearance that everything I had everything together and everything figured out. And that really started my journey of trying to stop binge eating and stop this terrible thing that I was doing that I didn't want anybody to know. And so for 25 years, I was on a journey whether. And I did all kinds of things. Eating disorder therapists, books, podcasts. Once podcasts came out, two rounds of intensive outpatient therapy at a local eating disorders treatment center. And I remember saying at one point, if I ever figure this out, I am going to help other people do the same. And so that really has been kind of my journey. And now what I do is I help people who feel out of control with food. So some people. For some people, it is a sense of binge eating, kind of this, like, I can't stop. Once I start eating, I can't stop. And for other people, it's not necessarily that, but it's. There are times that I eat a lot of food or I feel like I can't control myself, or I don't trust myself. I don't trust my body. That's really a lot of the. The people that I help and for so many people, it's a lifelong struggle or many, many decades of a struggle. And as the nervous system comes in, the piece of the nervous system. For me, I really thought at one point I had it figured out. I went to, I went to the life coach school and I learned all about cognitive behavioral therapy and changing my thinking, and so much really did change. And then I started my business and I was like, okay, I'm going to help people. I'm going to put myself out there. And all of a sudden, here I was binging again, and I had no idea why. I didn't know what was happening. I knew nothing about the nervous system. And then once I about the nervous system, I was like, oh, this all makes so much sense. And so for me, the nervous system really was that missing piece, that really understanding safety, connection. I. Those are the two words that I say are the key to overcoming your struggles. Safety and connection.
- [06:26]
A
Yeah. And I love that because I think there's a lot of shame around whatever our adaptations are.
- [06:33]
B
So.
- [06:33]
A
So for some people, it is binge eating. For other people, like you said, it may be just an unhealthy relationship with food, but other people, it could be substance abuse, but it could also be perfectionism and people pleasing and yes, and it shows up in anxiety. There's lots of different ways I think, that we adapt and then we feel shame about those ways. I think society too, we have almost like a hierarchy. Oh, this is better than that, and that's better than this. And it's acceptable to say I do this. Even things like the cliche, oh, my perfectionist. It feels more acceptable of an adaptation than I'm, you know, I binge eat. And so now we've got all these levels of shame, but it all comes down to the same thing. Like you said, safety and connection. I think, as you said, insights into thoughts. There's a role for cognitive behavioral therapy. There's a role for understanding our thoughts and where they come from. And for a lot of people, that's the entryway that we can start exploring the possibilities. But I truly believe it doesn't matter what your adaptation is. For everybody, the nervous system is a missing piece because it is the fuel behind every. It is a lens through which you do everything, whether it is, yeah, binging or anything like that. So tell me, when you said, now the nervous system is missing piece. So now you have an understanding of, you know, the thoughts behind it. You have an understanding and nervous system. What, what is going on? What, what is happening when somebody is.
- [08:14]
B
Binging so the way that I really look at it is binge eating or showing up with food in ways that you don't like. It's really a light on the dashboard. So what it is just like your car is going to, you know, hey, check engine light or check the oil or turn the gas on. It tells us something, something is going on underneath the hood. And so if we can then open up the hood and see, it's going to be one of. There are eight reasons that I've really identified why people binge, why people struggle with food. And the number one reason is shame and judgment. When we have shame, when we have judgment about what we're doing, when we think we're wrong, we're bad, we're broken, we shouldn't be doing this. I know better, I know what to do, but I, I'm not doing the thing. What that is like is like putting a 50 pound weight on top of the hood of the car. So we can't even open the hood to see what's happening underneath to make the lights go on. If we're in shame and judgment. So that's reason number one, then if we can remove shame and judgment and shift into curiosity, into compassion, how does this make sense? What else might be going on? Then we can really get under the hood. Then we have the other reasons. And so there number two is restriction. And so this could be physical restriction. I'm not allowing myself to eat certain foods. Maybe I'm literally just not eating enough food. It could also be emotional restriction, kind of the morality that we place on food. This food is good, this food is bad. And where the nervous system piece comes in, habit is a piece. One of, one of the eight reasons. And what happens though is that people only see it as a habit. Well, I just have this really bad habit of eating at night after everybody goes to bed. And I just need to change the habit. I just need to stop doing that. And if we only look at it as a habit, what we're not really addressing is what's likely going on that started that adaptation in the first place is this really heightened activated nervous system that we, you probably very smartly at some point realized, oh, if I eat a lot of food, I'm able to kind of bring myself down. And we generally bring ourselves down beyond the window of tolerance into more of that hypo state team hypo as you. As you call it. But that's kind of what we've figured out over time. And so really just seeing, it's like every Most of the aspects that are causing and are part of why we binge, why we feel out of control with food. The nervous system, really, it's so central to all of it.
- [10:57]
A
Yeah. And I love that you describe it as lights on dashboard, because I use the light. I just actually did a video. I don't know when this is going to air. So it may be a while back where I talked about lights on the dashboard. For me, it's like, what are symptoms that your body is trying to communicate with you? So, you know, for some, and we had given the example of, of different adaptations, but chronic pain and illness shows up in that way too. Like for me, when I get bouts of vertigo or ibs, like a gut issue or a headache, that is a signal to me that my nervous system is saying something is going on. And then it requires a little bit sometimes it's not a lot of detective work to figure out what's going on, but it is to get curious. And so it sort of sounds like the same way that rather than having the shame and the oh, no, I binge or I. I've gone off the path that I deliberately want to be on. It's getting curious what's happening in my system.
- [11:59]
B
Yes.
- [12:00]
A
That I'm feeling the need to regulate in this way. Because isn't that it? Like, I know that, you know, from what you said, there's this sense of regulation, but it's like a false regulation, which is really what most of our adaptations are like. We are feeling dysregulated and we need a way to regulate ourselves. And we brilliantly find ways to regulate ourselves. Yes. But then it turns on us and it becomes almost like the enemy.
- [12:33]
B
Yes, exactly. So I call this the safety paradox. So it's like we look to food. Food becomes a source of safety. At some point in your life, you figured out, ah, food helps. Food makes me feel safe. And then at the same time, though, we realize food isn't safe at all, especially with all the messaging and everything else, whether it's, oh, this food isn't safe because I'm remembering the pain from a previous binge, or because of all of the messages out there about these foods are bad and what these foods will do to you and you shouldn't eat these and you shouldn't be eating, you know, during this time, or you should have this many hours, all of the messages that we get. So food simultaneously is a source of safety and not safe at all. And so that's what creates so much complication for people. It's like. And so then the nervous system is. Is constantly. I'm. It's seeking. I want safety, but the thing I'm trying to use to create that safety doesn't feel safe at all. Yeah.
- [13:37]
A
Oh, that's so good. Yeah. So how do people identify that it is a safety problem? Like, because I know that this may be new to. I mean, if you're listening to this podcast, chances are the idea of safety is not new. We've talked about it enough with the nervous system. But how do you introduce that to people? How do you introduce to them that. I know you think it's a food issue and it's a bad habit issue, or maybe even it's a thought issue.
- [14:06]
B
How.
- [14:06]
A
How do you really introduce them to. It's a safety issue, and it's a brilliant adaptation issue, which I think removes that whole idea of it's shameful and you gotta hide it and what's wrong with you and it's a weakness and it's a moral thing. It just introduces. No, this was your adaptation. Somebody else says this. This is what you have.
- [14:26]
B
Yeah. So the biggest thing we can really do is that shift from judgment, from shame into curiosity. And we can do it in a few ways. One of my favorite questions is, how does this make sense? How does it make sense that I just ate a lot of food? How does it make sense that as soon as my husband left the room, I just went and, you know, kind of went into the pantry and ate, you know, kind of sneakily. How does this make sense? And when we can ask that question, really putting any shame and judgment on the shelf.
- [14:57]
A
Yeah.
- [14:58]
B
We start to get answers of, oh, if I can see it through the lens of my nervous system. Oh, I'm really, really hyper. You know, I'm really activated right now. There's all of this energy. I'm trying to use food to decrease the energy in my body, or I'm sitting here on the couch and I'm just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and maybe I'm trying to use food to kind of give myself some energy, or I'm trying to use food to progress just to see what it is that we're trying to get the food to do for us. That kind of question mark. I also have something that I love that's called the three powerful questions. And these three questions is very simple. What do I notice? So this is what do I notice in my body, whether it's a physical sensation, and this is where you can really start to get familiar with that sensation of, I need to Eat. I need to eat right now. So what do I notice about it? So for me, what was always interesting is that I would feel my kind of like those intense desire to eat, those cravings, whatever you want to call them. I would feel it right in my stomach, same place as I would feel hunger. And so it would be confusing to me. Like, I think I'm hungry. It's literally right there. I feel like that's actual hunger. And so what do I notice? What do I notice in my body there? What else do I notice? I notice, I feel like I kind of want to come out of my skin. I notice. What am I thinking? I'm thinking, I can't handle this. I have to eat right now. Food is the only thing that will help. What am I thinking? So what do I notice? It might be physical sensation. It might be the sentences running around in my head and it might be just anything else that's happening around me. So what do I notice? Is question number one.
- [16:43]
A
Can I just. Sorry, yes, please jump in there. Because it just reminds me of the importance, like when we talk about getting to know your nervous system and befriending the nervous system, we talk about the importance of getting inside your body. That interoceptive, like understanding what are the sensations in my body and what are they trying to communicate with me. So I find it really interesting that that comes up with. Because I would imagine that for many people, especially if they do have challenges with food, they may not necessarily be able to distinguish or be aware of what's going on in their body too. The. The fine tune that you were like, well, is that hunger or is that this? I mean, I would imagine that some people are just like, I don't even know. I. I'm numb.
- [17:28]
B
Yes, yes, you're absolutely right. And a lot of people, when they start, it's. I don't notice anything. All I know is I'm going along and the next thing I know, I've eaten a lot of food. So there's. It's almost like a lot of people describe it as kind of turning the lights off. Like I just turn the lights off. That's it. There's no, there's no association. I pretty much just dissociate. I used to think about it as I would say, I turn the lights off on myself or what I realized when I was younger. When I was a teenager, I used to, when I was upset, I would go to my room and I would slam the door. And I wish I could remember what I did in there once I slammed the door, but I don't. And then I wouldn't come out until the next day, and then we would just pretend like everything was fine. And I realized one day I had this realization in eating disorder therapy. And I real. There was a door in. In the art therapy room that would slam. And every time it would slam, I would. It would trigger me. I would just be. And then I realized the association of me slamming the door, and I was like, oh, my gosh, when I binge, I'm slamming the door on myself. And when I made that connection, literally that door did not change. That door continued to slam, and it never activated me again.
- [18:46]
A
Yeah.
- [18:46]
B
Yeah. So what happens is for a lot of people, it's like, I know nothing. There is no awareness. I literally just kind of turn it all off. And so the invitation becomes, if this is you, if you're listening and you're like, yeah, that's me, I basically am either fine or I. There's an empty bag of whatever. The invitation is to at any point bring some awareness into your eating experience. So instead of going on autopilot, just open your eyes while you're there. And it doesn't mean you even have to stop at all. Can I get really curious what's happening for me in the moment as I'm eating, as I'm literally going through the entire bag of chips or the gallon of ice cream or whatever it is that I'm eating, or I'm driving to go get the next thing, what do I notice? What am I thinking? What am I believing? What do I feel? What am I trying not to feel? Am I willing to, even for 30 seconds, just turn the lights on? If I'm used to the lights being off the entire time, can I just turn the lights on and look around?
- [19:47]
A
Yeah.
- [19:48]
B
Don't have to change anything. You don't have to stop eating at all. Can I just bring some awareness into the experience? Because we can't change what we're not aware of.
- [19:56]
A
Right.
- [19:57]
B
And so that really is the first step, is just gaining this awareness in whatever amount is your nervous system will allow you to kind of be. Be in and be aware of.
- [20:11]
A
Yeah. Because the nervous system is functioning sort of behind the scenes, so it's sort of interrupting the behind the scenes to take a peek at what's going on behind the scenes. You may not change it, but at least acknowledging the behind the scenes is happen. And I want to interrupt it.
- [20:28]
B
Yeah. Yes.
- [20:29]
A
Oh, I love it. All right, your. Your second question.
- [20:31]
B
So question number two. So question number One was, what do I notice? Question number two was, what do I need? What do I need right now? And I'm going to warn everybody who tries to ask themselves the three powerful questions. The first time you ask yourself, what do I need? If you are not used to asking yourself this question, you are going to get crickets. You're not going to know.
- [20:52]
A
I don't know.
- [20:52]
B
And that's. Yeah, it's like maybe even a foreign language because you're not used to asking yourself the question, what do I need? Or it's just like, what do you mean? I need. I need cookies, I need cereal, I need to go to the store and get rid of this. That's what I need. So if that's. You just keep asking the question. Because the beauty of the brain is when we ask it a question, it will go to work to give us the answer. So what do I need is the second of the powerful questions. And so it might for a lot of people, I need, like, I need to. Even if the answer is I need to get rid of this feeling. Okay, well, what other options? There may be other options that I can move this energy instead of food, which is just the thing that I've always, I've always known. And for so many people, the need is actually rest or to slow down. And we end up using food to kind of give us the energy. And those foods that are the kind of like high calorie, high, you know, like very palatable foods, they do give us really quick energy. Our body is so smart, it's like, we need energy. So, you know, food can, can be a quick way to get that.
- [22:07]
A
Yeah.
- [22:08]
B
So, yeah, that's your number two.
- [22:09]
A
Yeah, yeah, what do I need? I. And we talk about it. I say, like, what does your nervous system need? Interestingly, today I had a client that I was working with and we're talking about what do I need? And this client was sort of outsourcing. I need this person to do this, I need this person to do that.
- [22:26]
B
Yeah.
- [22:28]
A
And it really is focused on, like, no, what do I need? What does my nervous system need that it's asking for that I can take care of? The answer may be I need connection, which would then require, you know, having. But being careful of what do I need and not outsourcing it. Like, yes, I need all these.
- [22:48]
B
Such a good distinction.
- [22:49]
A
Yeah. Like, what do I need that I can provide myself or I can learn how to provide myself? I can try to provide myself.
- [22:59]
B
Yes. I love that because a lot of times the brain will Also may say something like, well, I just need to know what's going to happen. I need certainty, I need to know what decision to make. Or I need them to stop acting in this way.
- [23:13]
A
Whatever they're gonna do.
- [23:14]
B
Yes.
- [23:14]
A
Which you can't control. And then it's sort of. Because I know with this client, it sort of kept their spinning for a bit. Like. Like, what do I need? Well, you're saying what you think you need is very, very external. So it's sort of that Internal.
- [23:27]
B
Internal. What do I need Internally. Yes. I love that. Such a good distinction. Such a good distinction. So then the third question is, what's next? So it's now that I've identified what's happening, I've just noticed what's going on. I've asked myself the question, what do I need then? Now we get to choose what's next. I might still decide to go eat. I might go for a walk and then come back and maybe I'd still eat. I, I am a big fan of always giving yourself permission to eat. Because as soon as we tell ourselves, don't eat, we make ourselves bad or wrong for doing the thing. And then we're in a fight with ourselves and the morality around all of it, it just makes it all so complicated and not safe at all. We don't really have a safe answer or a safe kind of option. Yeah. So now that I've identified, okay, here's what I notice. Here's what I've identified that I need now. How, how can I take care of myself in any amount? And if I can't do it now, is there something I could do later? So maybe, maybe if I'm in the middle of work and I'm really stressed out and I've, you know, I'm like, ah, I really need to relax. I really need to just go get out in nature. I need to connect with somebody. I need to vent with my best friend. Whatever it is, I can't do that right now. Then you make a mental plan for later of how you will take care of yourself then. Because even that will give your nervous system. Okay, she heard me, she's listening. We can't do it now, but it's coming.
- [25:00]
A
Yeah.
- [25:01]
B
And so that can be really powerful.
- [25:03]
A
Yeah. I think that choice piece, like I did an episode probably about two years ago where I talked about the three C's the nervous system needs, it needs, you know, it needs connection, it needs context and it needs choice. Don't ever try to put the nervous system in a powerless. You have to do this, your trap situation, because that's going to get you very, very activated. So I love this idea of giving it permission, giving it context, giving it choice. You get to do this, you get to do that. I think that is so, so powerful.
- [25:35]
B
And with choice, I love giving yourself more than two options. So many people who struggle with food really struggle with that. Black and white, all or nothing. It's good or bad. I'm either eating perfectly or I'm off the rails. I'm tracking all the things, or I'm like, yeah, we're just gonna pretend like, you know, that's not happening. So if we can. Anywhere in our lives where we can bring some more nuance, bring the. And in. Bring in more options. So it's not just eat or don't eat. It's like, well, let's give ourselves three options or four options or five options. Then all of a sudden it's like, oh, there's. It creates more openness for us and more. It helps us realize I'm not really in this good, bad, like trapped, stuck place that I think my nervous system thinks I'm in.
- [26:25]
A
Yeah. And that just when, you know, we get ourselves in a trap position, we just keep ourselves in dysregulation. Right. Because the more trapped we are, the less choice that we have, the more we get activated. Like, and there's there when we start catastrophizing. I always say, anytime you see black and white thinking, whether it be black and white thinking or black and white choice, or I have to do this or I have to do that, you can almost guarantee you're in a dysregulated state. And when you're in a dysregulated state, you are going to be looking for any way to get yourself regulated. And so the path of least resistance is going to be the automatic path which you've been doing. And so you'll go that direction. And then that starts the whole. Then the shame, and then it ends up. That's why I think the nervous system is so central.
- [27:13]
B
Yeah. Yeah. Which is why what you just said is so powerful. And anytime there's black and white thinking, we're likely in a dysregulated state. Think about for yourself. If you are listening to this and you are a person who struggles with food, if you see food in black and white as good and bad, this food is good, this food is bad. I'm supposed to eat this, I'm not supposed to eat this. I'm supposed to eat at this time, not at this time, that's all black and white thinking. So you're automatically taking yourself into that dysregulated state.
- [27:44]
A
Yeah, yeah. Taking yourself in and keeping yourself in. Yeah.
- [27:48]
B
Right, yeah.
- [27:49]
A
So if somebody is listening and they identify with these. What are some things that they can start doing? We started.
- [27:56]
B
We.
- [27:57]
A
We mentioned the awareness. So what are some. We'll eventually get to. Give us your information, Jane, so they can contact you. But what are some things? Because I also think that even if you. You may not even be aware that this is an issue for you. And then as you start building the awareness, the first step for most people is not, well, I'm going to reach out to somebody. I'm going to get some help. Like, absolutely. What are some things that people can do on their own?
- [28:23]
B
Yeah. I mean, so really, I would say where I love to start people with. Is identify with the state of your nervous system. Check in. I mean, you say this all the time, right? Check in multiple times throughout the day. Where am I in my nervous system? And then see if you can make connections between where you are in your nervous system and your eating patterns. Do you see a change in how you show up with food depending on what state that you're in? Yeah. Yeah, I know when I do work.
- [28:57]
A
Yeah, When I do work with my people, we. We map out like the stage of their nervous. They call it their nervous system landscape. And there's like a bunch of questions for each. And one of them is like, what are the foods that you eat when you're in this state? What are the patterns? What are the times? So that's great because I know when I was mapping for myself, I was like, oh, I don't know. And then I started, oh, I do kind of know. I do have a tendency when I'm in this state. These are the foods that satisfy. I'm using air quotes here. If you're listening. Satisfy me. That are just helping me feel more regulated for a period of time before it spirals back. So, yeah, I love.
- [29:41]
B
And you can. And what you can really notice is, for example, if you feel a state of. You're in that hyper. You know, you're in that. You're on team hyper and you're activated and you're kind of in that, like, anger, frustration, kind of more the fight. You might notice a tendency to want to go towards crunchy things. Yes. Maybe chips or things to kind of like, you know. Really? Yeah. I remember so clearly. One time I was angry with my husband and I remember I can remember having a Binge eating a bunch of chips and like thinking to myself, I'll show him. Yeah, like, of course he felt none of this. He saw. Of course I'm not going to actually show him because he didn't see any.
- [30:23]
A
That's right.
- [30:24]
B
No evidence of a binge did he ever see, except for me, miserable on the other side. But. But yeah, often we eat at people or we kind of use food to kind of. Or if you're seeking comfort, you might seek more softer. You know, maybe it's more, you know, things that you ate as a child or those types of things. So you can kind of just really get curious about your eating kind of patterns and behaviors and what's different in your various states.
- [30:49]
A
Yeah, that's so good. So building that awareness of your states and what are your food patterns in those steps.
- [30:57]
B
Yep. And then really, in places where you normally turn the lights off, can you keep the lights on? Can you really just get familiar with what is it that's really happening in here? What's happening up in my head? What's happening? Can I connect now? For some people, for a lot of reasons, some people don't feel safe to, to connect and to go into their body. And so that, that can be, you know, a whole other thing. But is there any amount where I can turn the lights on, where I can kind of start to create some awareness of. Of what's happening in those moments? I normally have not in the past been either willing to or able to open my eyes.
- [31:40]
A
And I guess you can start like, if people are having a hard time really feeling in the body, we can start with looking at what the thoughts are, because there are certain flavors of thoughts that will go along with certain emotions. So, you know, you can sort of start listening, I'm assuming, and then that will bring you to the emotion and noticing. Are there certain feelings that lead me to those, those dark places or whatever the pattern is for my eating?
- [32:11]
B
Absolutely. Yeah. Most people do have certain emotions that are kind of tied towards more of that, you know, the, the eating in ways that they would rather not.
- [32:21]
A
Yeah, yeah. And I think that whether you identify as having challenges with eating or not, we see it is all very tied. That's why when you're in getting to know your own nervous system, that's why one of the questions is like, it's not just questions for, oh, if you have an eating disorder, what are your eating habits? It's just, as a human, what are some of your adaptations? What do you tend to. To eat? What do you tend to do what? Because we see it in like, it's like your posture and your, you know, the activities that you tend to do, even the. The shows you want to watch, the foods you want to eat. This is all part of. Of part of the nervous system landscape. Beautiful. Any other thing that you feel that you just want to introduce or just touch on for. I know that this is just such a snippet of all the work that you do, but anything else that you think would be helpful for. For people. You know.
- [33:20]
B
The other thing I really want your listeners to know is that you and I had a very powerful conversation on my podcast about hunger, hunger and the nervous system.
- [33:31]
A
And you have a whole series on hunger.
- [33:34]
B
Yes, a whole series on hunger. So if you have a complicated relationship with hunger, which as a human is. It is possible, very likely. Maybe. Odds are good you have a complicated relationship with hunger. My podcast is called Binge Eating Breakthrough, and on that podcast there's a whole series on hunger. And Leah and I had a conversation specifically about hunger and the nervous system. And so there's some really powerful resources there within the whole series of episodes that can really just help you take a deeper dive into. Into hunger and all of the things that can come up for us around it. Yeah. So that's a great resources. Yeah.
- [34:14]
A
And I love introducing that because hunger is very tied to looking at what is going on inside you. Like we said earlier, understanding the sensations in your body, the interoception in your body is so key to regulating your emotions and to processing things and to the actions that you take. We're very driven by what's going on in our body. So we want to be able to identify what's going on. And being able to identify hunger is. Is a big piece of that. Yeah, yeah. So your podcast, where else can people find you?
- [34:49]
B
I also have another great resource for anybody. I'll make sure you have the link to. It is. I have a video series. It's a. It's a. It's a series of short videos that really talk a lot about several of the things that we've talked about today. Sometimes we just need to kind of hear things multiple times to really make sen sense of. Oh, okay. But if you're somebody who has struggled with food and really have just thought like it's a you problem or a food problem, this mini series will just help you really kind of understand what's really going on. And so I'll make sure that you have the link to that. But I would say those are. Those are Great resources.
- [35:26]
A
Wonderful, wonderful.
- [35:27]
B
Yes.
- [35:27]
A
Really encourage people to head on over all the, all the. We have so much available to us. I know sometimes we can get overwhelming. So I'm glad, like it's, it's helpful that you pointed at some specific resources that people can just go to and.
- [35:41]
B
Yeah, yeah. And the last thing I'll say, and I, I know I'm sure you've said this in other places on your podcast as well, but with any, anything that we have a complicated relationship and that we're really trying to, to work with and to change, you can do it on your own, but it is challenging. It is really challenging to do, especially if you have those patterns of going into your place, going into, you know, the shame and the judgment and the spiral and those things that you've done over and over and over again. Sometimes it does take other somebody else to kind of just give you a different perspective, show you something through a new lens. Be able to co regulate in those times that you, you know, you can't on your own. And so, you know, just, just know that if you have been trying to do this on your own and you haven't been able to succeed, it's not because there's anything wrong with you. It's just connection really is such an important part of the healing process.
- [36:38]
A
Yeah, yeah. I say it all the time in the podcast and my membership is called Connections because you heal in connection. I also have, you know, my, my Nervous system journaling club. And today one of, in our Connections call, one of my clients asked like, can you get the same benefit from journaling as you can by sharing something with somebody in person? And, and it's interesting because I'm like, oh, I advocate for both. Right. I am a huge journaler and I advocate for connection. And I will say that there are lots of benefits that you can get from journaling. There's lots of insights you can get. There's lots of release. I'm a huge advocate for it when people are struggling with chronic pain and illness as a release to help you process your emotion. But I will say that I think it's very difficult to replace. Yeah, and very difficult. I'm edging on impossible. You can still make a ton of gains by doing work on your own, by, you know, reading and taking courses and journaling and doing all those things. But a substitute for connection. I don't know if we're ever going to find it that true healing happens when we're in connection. Listen, trauma happens in relationships and so it makes sense that Healing is going to happen. And as, as much as we have great resources, I even think of like AI. AI is some powerful tools and we could, I, I use it, I can get some great recommendations from AI, But AI can't show kindness and humanity and compassion and all those things that co regulation that we need. So I think especially when you're faced with any kind of adaptation, if you're faced with challenges around food, that you can do probably a lot of things on your own. This is what I also say. But you can learn all about your nervous system. And you know when people, I'm like, I'm not holding some secret magic information. You can go find it all in YouTube. It's in books, it's in groups, it's in. But you're never gonna find, I'll say you're never gonna find me. And it's not just me, Leah Davidson. But you're never gonna find me that connection. And sometimes that is what we need in healing. We need that connection.
- [39:08]
B
Yeah.
- [39:09]
A
So to reach out.
- [39:10]
B
Yeah, absolutely.
- [39:11]
A
Thank you so much for being here, Jane. I really, really appreciate it. And, and I hope people go check out our episode on your podcast too. Perfect.
- [39:21]
B
Sounds good.
- [39:22]
A
Thanks. Have a great day, everyone. Thank you for listening to the Building Resilience podcast. If you're interested in learning a little bit more about managing stress, building resilience and leading a more purposeful life, then make sure we're connected on Instagram and Facebook @leah davidsonlife coaching. You can also subscribe to my Weekly newsletter at www.leahdavidsonlifecoaching.com newsletter. Looking forward to connect.