Becky G: Cheating & People Pleasing

Summary

Call Her Daddy: Becky G – Cheating & People Pleasing (April 1, 2026)

Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Becky G
Main theme: Navigating generational trauma, people-pleasing, cheating, and resilience as a successful Latina in the entertainment industry.

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Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and relatable episode, Alex Cooper welcomes global superstar Becky G for her most candid conversation yet. Together they explore Becky’s childhood in Inglewood, her family’s struggles, the pressures of being the eldest daughter and provider, and the complex topic of betrayal in relationships. Becky G fearlessly opens up about her father’s addiction and infidelity, how generational trauma shapes women, people pleasing, and publicly confronting cheating in her long-term relationship. The discussion is infused with humor, cultural pride, and plenty of wisdom about healing, boundaries, and choosing growth over victimhood.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening Vibes & Tequila Toast

[03:09–05:40]

• Becky G and Alex kick things off with tequila shots, having a laugh about Becky’s well-known pre-show ritual (“I’m Mexican. It just felt right.” – Becky, [05:14])
• Discussion of personal drink choices and light banter sets an easy, warm tone.

2. Firsts & Worsts – Becky G’s Lightning Round

[06:25–11:18]

• Becky describes her morning routine, evolving from meditation to panicking about work texts.
• Admits to biting her nails as a past “worst habit.”
• Starstruck moment: Meeting Denzel Washington at the Oscars.
• Shares the worst rumor about herself: AI-generated fake pregnancy photos (“I know what I’m going to look like when I’m pregnant. She’s giving cutesy.” – Becky, [09:07]).
• Worst date story: Awkward Olive Garden meal where her date criticizes her joyful eating.

3. Irrational Fears & People Pleasing Roots

[10:56–11:18, 14:18–25:57]

• Becky’s deepest fear: “Letting the people I love down.”
• The conversation leads straight into “therapy talk,” exploring the pressure and generational wounds behind people pleasing.

4. Childhood in Inglewood and Early Responsibilities

[14:18–19:39]

• Becky proudly recounts her upbringing as a Chicana in Inglewood, surrounded by a sprawling, tight-knit family.
• “I’m one of 19 grandchildren on my mom’s side and one of 15 on my dad’s. … I always had my tribe.” ([14:18])
• Discusses helping to support her family from age nine, following a passion for music inspired by icons like Shirley Temple.

5. Generational Trauma, Survival Mode, & Family Addiction

[19:39–25:57]

• Becky reveals the extent of her family’s hardships: loss of their home, living in her grandparents’ garage, and her father’s addiction.
• “When we lost our home… with my dad being an addict, we had nothing. … But as a kid, you have a bit of naiveness… I was like, oh, it’s a big sleepover.” ([18:15])
• The generational nature of addiction and trauma—how cycles of avoidance and survival mode play out through families.

6. The Heavy Cost of Being the Eldest Daughter

[23:09–25:40]

• Alex and Becky break down birth order theory, “parentified” children, and the unique burden of being the family “fixer.”
• Alex: “It almost forces you to be one step ahead of every situation… and it’s hard to realize that everyone’s emotions are not your responsibility.”
• Becky: “If we rewind a few years ago, yeah, I was like, ‘I have to be a self-sacrificer…’ I have to give up mine for the greater good.” ([23:31])

Memorable anecdote: Becky’s Disney World “breaking point” with her sister

[25:57–30:59]

• Becky gets too drunk at Epcot while trying to give her sister an escape from family issues, then is overwhelmed with guilt.
• “I’m the worst sister on the planet. Like, I can’t believe I did this. … And they’re like, girl, do you know what I have done blackout drunk?” ([27:31])

7. Father Dynamics, Resentment, & Becoming the Provider

[31:42–36:26]

• Becky’s complicated feelings toward her father: Anger, lack of respect, and a desire to “out-dad” him.
• Became family’s sole provider at 16, fueling her work ethic and sense of responsibility.
• “It looked like being at peaks on charts and not having any health insurance because … health insurance isn’t built into a record deal.” ([35:31])

8. Mental Health, Breaking Generational Cycles, and Therapy

[36:28–41:28]

• Becky credits her mother as her greatest support and recounts a key moment:
  • Becky’s mom: “You could choose to never pick up a microphone ever again… We’ll figure it out. It’s not on you.” ([38:32])
• Despite this, Becky admits it took therapy to believe she could release herself from this burden.

9. How Childhood & Parents Shape Romantic Relationships

[41:28–45:30]

• Becky G’s “ride or die” mentality comes from her family’s culture:
  • “Me today is like, ‘If I ride, why do I gotta die?’ … There’s some boundaries I’d like to put in place.” ([41:28])
• The way parents love each other and us leaves a big imprint on our romantic lives.

10. Cheating, Public Betrayal, and Self-Worth

[45:30–66:05]

• Becky opens up about her partner’s public betrayal and why she chose to address it in her documentary:
  • “To me, I’ve always believed half a truth is still a lie.” ([42:50])
• She details wanting to make decisions for herself, not for public opinion, and the pain of trying to heal both privately and in the public eye.
• Discusses societal double standards:
  • “Back in the days, women used to be shamed for leaving… now it’s like, if you stay, you’re dumb. … And it’s like, the girls who would say ‘I could never’ — I actually love that for you. That was not my ground zero. My ground zero was people pleasing, self-sacrificing…” ([48:57])
• Shares how infidelity shattered her sense of self-trust and explains her journey of rebuilding her relationship with both her partner and herself after calling off their engagement.
• She and Alex explore how childhood wounds complicate adult relationship problems, especially around infidelity.

On Rebuilding After Betrayal:

• “Emotions aren’t forever. … I can’t make life decisions based off of other people’s emotions in my comment section.” ([52:42])
• Becky and her partner are still together, having rebuilt trust through reflection and therapy:
  • “It was just me… learning to give myself space and empowering myself with the experiences, with professional intervention…” ([58:15])
• “There is a spectrum, an array of experiences… empowerment as a woman isn’t being perfect. It’s living in your truth and standing in your truth.” ([64:07])

11. Resilience, Reframing Pain, and Post-Traumatic Growth

[66:14–71:48]

• Becky credits her positivity and strength to a radical mindset shift:
  • “PTG—post traumatic growth—is a choice… I don’t want to be a victim. I want to be a survivor. … We deserve so much more than just to survive life, but to actually thrive.” ([67:04])
• She urges feeling the pain fully and trusting that “this too shall pass,” highlighting the importance of self-compassion and learning life’s lessons or facing them repeatedly.

12. Women’s Place in the Industry & Uplifting Others

[74:49–79:52]

• Becky on how the music industry pits women against each other and how she and her peers—like Karol G, Natti Natasha, Anitta—built teamwork and solidarity behind the scenes.
• “Junta, somos mas. Together we are so much more.” ([74:49])
• Shares practical stories of collaboration, helping each other with glam and logistical support:
  • “It’s not me versus you; it’s us versus the system.” ([77:32])
• “Other tables are being built, and you can build your own.”

13. ‘Marathon’ and Empowerment Era

[79:52–83:37]

• Becky discusses her new single “Marathon,” describing the track as a reflection of her journey, perseverance, and a “divine alignment” with her fans’ growth.
  • “It’s like, if we’re crying, we’re crying in the club, girl. Like, we are… it’s a vibe. It’s meant to bring joy.” ([82:03])
• The creative process for “Marathon” was joyful and collaborative, mirroring her own journey from pressure and negativity into earned liberation.

14. Becky G vs. Rebecca: Healing the Inner Child

[83:37–84:35]

• Becky G reflects on reconciling her stage persona with her vulnerable self:
  • “Becky G, the boss… Rebecca, who is this more vulnerable… side of myself, is also a star in what I’ve been doing lately. … They’re like the best collaborators now.” ([83:47])

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Notable Quotes & Defining Moments

• On addiction and childhood:
  • “Addiction… is generational… it fuels this deeper wound.” ([19:54])
• On people pleasing:
  • “The words ‘no’—the way my body would just contortion if I felt a no and I had to say it.” ([22:10])
• On being eldest daughter:
  • “I have to give up mine for the greater good… not about how I actually feel.” ([23:31])
• On healing post-infidelity:
  • “The thing about betrayal is, like, it doesn’t just make you not trust the other person. You don’t trust yourself anymore.” ([48:57])
• On relationship recovery:
  • “This isn’t just about this relationship. How many dynamics have I been in where this version of myself has been in the driver’s seat?” ([56:06])
• On growth and empowerment:
  • “Empowerment as a woman isn’t being perfect. It’s living in your truth.” ([64:07])
• On thriving after trauma:
  • “PTG, post-traumatic growth, is a choice… I can change my mind today and that’s okay.” ([67:04])
• On lifting up women:
  • “We all look amazing… iron sharpens iron. It’s not personal. It’s us versus the system.” ([77:32])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |---|---| | Tequila & Icebreakers | 03:09–06:25 | | Firsts & Worsts Q&A | 06:25–11:18 | | Childhood & Early Family Life | 14:18–19:39 | | Generational Trauma / People Pleasing | 19:39–25:57 | | Disney World Anecdote | 25:57–30:59 | | Relationship with Father & Responsibility | 31:42–36:26 | | Mental Health & Therapy | 36:28–41:28 | | Shaping Romantic Relationships | 41:28–45:30 | | Betrayal, Cheating & Healing | 45:30–66:05 | | Positivity, Growth after Trauma | 66:14–71:48 | | Women’s Career Solidarity | 74:49–79:52 | | “Marathon” & New Music | 79:52–83:37 | | Becky G / Rebecca Reflection | 83:37–84:35 |

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Tone & Style

The episode is distinctly vulnerable, witty, and intimate, with both Alex and Becky harnessing humor to navigate tough topics. Becky frequently shifts between English and touches of Spanglish, embodying pride in her culture and family roots. Both host and guest are encouraging—a blend of tough love, affirmation, and radical honesty.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a must-listen for anyone resonating with codependency, family trauma, or struggling with self-worth after betrayal. Becky G’s transparency about generational wounds and the labor of healing is rare in celebrity interviews. Listeners take away not only practical advice for self-care and boundary setting but also permission—as Alex and Becky say—to “let the shit be shit” and to own every part of their story, imperfect and evolving.

Transcript

[A]

All right, Daddy gang. I have had this SiriusXM music channel for about a year now called Unwell Music. I pick all the songs. I play whatever the hell I want 247 so you already know the vibe. Disney hits, throwbacks. We've got Miley, Selena, Demi, Hillary, Justin, Britney, Rihanna. No more playlist fatigue or trying to decide what to listen to anymore. Father's got the ox and Father's got you. I have a special offer for you. Daddies get three months of Sirius XM free. Visit Sirius xm.comunwell Music to see offer details. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Spring is officially here. The time is perfect to refresh your home in your wardrobe shop Ross, where spring trends are everywhere. Find that flowy floral dress or the perfect sandal to kick off the season. Spring is also about creating new vibes at home and getting outside with outdoor entertaining essentials with brands you love at 20 to 60% off other retailers prices. New looks and vibes don't mean a huge price tag at Ross. You work your magic. Find your nearest ross@ross stores.com 40% of people would save their dog over human stranger. You know, I, I, yeah, I guess I kind of relate to this statistic. I'm so obsessed with my dogs. You guys know Henry and Bruce are my life. And if anyone gets being obsessed, it's Ollie. They're relentless about delivering the best food and experience for you and your dog. And they give you a way to check in on their health. Head to ollie.com call her daddy. Tell them all about your dog and use Call Her Daddy to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's O l l I e.com call her daddy Ollie. Feed the Obsession Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. We all know how good it feels to refresh our space. And sometimes a little spring cleaning. Pick me up with Clorox Disinfecting Wipes is the way to get back on track. Let me just say she's quick, she's easy, she's Clorox Disinfecting Wipes plus the lemon scent. Oh, my God. You know what it reminds me of? My mom. My mom used these in our home growing up. No doubt about it. Our house smelled so incredibly clean. And now I just have them in my house because it's tradition, right? My mom used it and naturally I use Whatever my mother used, it is the best. Guys, a quick wipe down is one of the easiest ways to channel a little spring cleaning energy. The wipes are perfect. Perfect also for multitasking. So you can just get back to your day to day with ease and with a better vibe. Thanks to Clorox, we can have spring cleaning and they can get us through it. Right? We don't need to stress. Thank you, Clorox. Okay, so shop Clorox disinfecting wipes [e-mail] Clorox wipes. What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy Becky G. Welcome to Call Her Daddy.

[B]

Do I call you Daddy or Alex?

[A]

You can call me whatever you want.

[B]

I'll call you Bobby.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I'm just kidding.

[A]

I will not, I will not get upset about that. I have been so excited to talk to you. I feel like you have had just such an incredible massive career. I know you started at nine years old. Now your music has streamed over 28 billion times. You've sold out tours, you've received five Latin Grammy nominations. You've been in this industry for almost two decades. But I do still feel like there is so much to discover about you and so much of your story that hasn't fully been told. So I've been really looking forward to sit down with you.

[B]

Same. Thank you so much for having me.

[A]

Of course. I heard that on your writer you always have tequila and your pre show ritual is to take a tequila shot before. So I figured if you're down, I poured us to tequila shots.

[B]

Girl.

[A]

No, I love this.

[B]

This is going to be my favorite podcast I've ever done. Ever.

[A]

I'm like, it's 1:00pm I want to do a little cheer.

[B]

5:00 clock somewhere.

[A]

What should we toast to?

[B]

I think we should toast to being big daddies in our fields. I think we should toast. Toast the fact that I'm sitting in this couch because I've seen so many people that I love and admire sit right here across from you and I just feel so. Yeah. Excited for this conversation. So toast to you.

[A]

Cheers.

[B]

Cheers. We'll do the bariba.

[A]

Oh, this looks big.

[B]

These are really cute glasses. Okay, you take that down. Nice girl.

[A]

Well, I'm trying.

[B]

Are you a tequila drinker?

[A]

I am, but I'm more reposado. Also looking in your eyes and I'm like, why is she not flinching? So I'm trying not to flinch, but

[B]

I'm like, I. I think you wore it nicely. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We did that right. We did that right. How did that become a tradition for you with your shows that you do that before every show?

[B]

I'm Mexican.

[A]

It just felt right.

[B]

Yeah, it just felt right. I know that sounds really funny, but I just feel like that's like our. It's like a celebratory thing. It's also like a warm up thing. I'm sure you've heard singers talk about like hot toddies and stuff like that. Yeah, that's just like. I just want a tequila straight.

[A]

Is that your go to drink?

[B]

It really is just tequila straight. Just tequila on the rocks. Or it could be. It could be warm. It could be mixed. It could be.

[A]

We're going to get a tequila. I will just have tequila on the rocks. And I'm happy. Happy. Fudge, Mary, Kill. Tequila, Vodka, Gin.

[B]

Oh, just fudge, Mary. Tequila. Everything else can die.

[A]

You don't drink anything else?

[B]

You know I do. I like why I'm a sound like an alcoholic. Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm like, you're fine.

[B]

Let me watch myself. No, I love wines. So you know what's funny? I feel like wines and food are great pairings for me. I'm also like a champagne girly every now and then. I love a little. A little bubbles, but it's tequila. But tequila is just my. Yeah, I'll have a beer every now and then. A little chill on the side.

[A]

Yeah, but tequila. Okay. Yeah. Okay. We're going to kick it off with the game.

[B]

Oh, let's go.

[A]

I'm gonna ask you some of your firsts and your worsts. Are you ready?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. What is the first thing you do every morning when you wake up?

[B]

First thing I do every morning when I wake up.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Try to get it together, girl. Yeah, it depends on the season. If I'm in, like, recovery season, it's like meditation. I make my morning coffee at home. If it's a busy season, I'm probably panicking at the, like, multiple text messages that I've missed that have, you know, approvals that I need to get to and deadlines that need to be met. That's the season I'm in right now.

[A]

It's funny. It's like, I want to be that girl that's not. Like, I look at my phone, but I'm like, oh, fuck, I am that person that's like, I look at my phone, I check, and I'm like, I need to stop.

[B]

Yeah. And so I do. I catch myself. I would say, like, I try to A balance is impossible to sustain all the time. It's just you have to recalibrate.

[A]

Okay, good answer. What's the worst habit you have?

[B]

You know what? It used to be biting my nails. These are my actual nails, y'. All.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Do not buy my nails no more.

[A]

I am so bad at that. And that's why I just do gel, because I'm like, okay, who is the first celebrity that actually left you starstruck?

[B]

Oh. Oh, damn. You know what's so crazy? Okay, obviously, you've probably had the same thing where it's like, this is what we do, right? So you're like, play cool. Play cool and you'll meet some people, and they're so much more, like, human and chill than you thought they would be. So you're actually not as, like, like, oh, my God, you're actually like, oh, you're cool. As, like, we can have a conversation and I don't feel what I thought I was gonna feel in the best way. Not in a bad way. But I would say when I did the Oscars for the first time and I was doing the rehearsals on the stage, I wasn't even starstruck by the person themselves, but the photo cards that they have of them. You know how they have pictures of them?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, girl.

[B]

Denzel Washington.

[A]

I was like, I've seen him in so many movies.

[B]

Like, why is it that I'm freaking out right now? Like, he's gonna be right there when I'm. When I'm singing. Like, huh.

[A]

That actually is such a good answer, too, because it's not like, Denzel Washington's, like, finding any, like, mega singer, super

[B]

famous people that are obviously, like, so worthy of, like, kiss the ground they walk on, you know? They're so incredible.

[A]

No, that's a good answer. He's a legend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, what's the worst rumor you've ever seen about yourself online?

[B]

Look, I know AI is a touchy conversation these days, but I was seeing the craziest pictures of myself, and they're fully crazy. Crazy.

[A]

Has it ever been so bad?

[B]

I know what I'm going to look like when I'm pregnant. She's giving cutesy. Like, I'm. I'm here for. For it, dude. That.

[A]

It's. That's getting scary.

[B]

It's scary.

[A]

What is the worst date you've ever been on?

[B]

I remember still till this day, it is. I love food. So, like, if you have me choose between you and food, I'm gonna choose food, because food's always Been there for me, you know? I remember it was so awkward. And, like, me and this guy were, like, dating for some time, too. So it was like, okay, you're getting a little too comfortable, and I don't like this. But it was something as simple as, like, the food came and I was, like, eating, and I do happy dances, and, like, I don't chew with my mouth open, but I take big bites. You know, I want to get a little bit of everything on the plate. And this homeboy has the choice of words to say. You know, it's not going anywhere, right? Like, okay, so livid. No, I remember. And I'm like, you brought me to Olive Garden. What did you think was going to happen?

[A]

Wait, okay, so he brought unlimited breadsticks. Wait, wait, wait. Those breadsticks and the pasta, they won't be there forever.

[B]

Frozen, technically. But it's so good. Like, it's the consistency. It's just, you know, the fettuccine Alfredo, Wow. Dip the breadstick in it. It's just.

[A]

What was your reaction?

[B]

No, I just remember I kept eating my food. I was like, you're just background noise right now. Like, I'm. Now I'm gonna chew with my mouth open. I hope you don't like me. Break up with me right now.

[A]

You're like, I'm gonna finish this, and then I'm gonna actually leave you. But again, I'm not leaving until I finish this meal.

[B]

Yeah. And it's unlimited soup and salivage, so.

[A]

Girl. Oh, I would be livid. Okay, what is your worst irrational fear?

[B]

Worst irrational fear. You know, I had a feeling we'd get into, like, therapy talk eventually, but, like, this is a little soon, I think. Just letting. It's not really irrational, I guess, but just, like, letting the people I love down. Like, yeah, the people I love down is, like, letting them down is just. It's a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So let's get into therapy talk.

[B]

Yes. Let's do it, girl.

[A]

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[B]

I mean, I'm. I'm a proud Inglewood native and I'm a proud Chicana Mexican American. I'm one of 19 grandchildren on my mom's side and one of 15 on my dad's. There's grandbabies or great grandbabies now, so I'm an atia. I have nieces and nephews, and my baby sister just had a baby too. So the family just keeps growing. So I grew up around A lot of community, as my grandma would say. Like, me, pueblito, like my little village. Like, this is. This was everything for us growing up. So I feel like I grew up feeling supported and feeling like I was never truly alone. Even though obviously you go through things in life that sometimes you do feel lonely in. I always had, like, my tribe.

[A]

You had all these people.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And I would say Inglewood. You know, it's a predominantly brown and black community. I grew up watching the airplanes take off from LAX and land into lax, and I would always wonder, where are those planes going and where are they coming from? You know? And now, like, it's so crazy to fast forward to where my life is now. And I'm still here, I'm still in la. I'm a proud Angeleno. But I'm on the planes now and I get to see my. My grandparents houses, depending on which side of the plane I'm sitting on. Because if, you know, LAX and you're on a plane, if you're on the right side, you can see Inglewood on the right side, and if you're on the left side, you can see Hawthorne. And that's kind of like the South Bay. Like, that's like where my, my family is from.

[A]

It is so crazy that, like, no matter how successful you get and where your life takes you, you still connect that younger version of yourself where like, that little girl was like, I want to be on one of those planes one day and, like, I want to see the world. And now every time you're on a plane, you're looking down, being like, oh, my gosh, I'm the girl on the plane now. Really sweet. I do know that at nine years old, you decided to start working to help support your family, which is like, that is really, really young. That's about like third grade. Did it feel like a choice at the time?

[B]

It did, I think. Older me now, looking back at it, considering the circumstances, there was definitely pressure, external pressure, just from the. The system, I think around me to. To step up in some kind of way. But one thing I admire about little Bex is that she was very much the driver of her life. Even if she wasn't, she was convinced she was. And I think this is a theme with, like, I'm the oldest of four kids. I have two younger brothers and a little sister. And you just always gotta know. Like, even if I don't know, I gotta know, I gotta figure it out, you know? So I very much knew what I was getting myself into. I very Much wanted to pursue this considering that no one else in my family had ever worked in the entertainment industry. It was kind of out of the blue that all of a sudden, because I saw random Shirley Temple, you know, multi VHS videos growing up, that I was like, oh, she did it. I could do it too, you know, or Dakota Fanning. And, and so I, I, yeah, I just, I just did it.

[A]

And I think what's interesting is like having this passion that you were like, I want to do this. Like no one told me to do this. Like I really wanted to do this. But then inevitably, especially I think in the entertainment industry because you're around so many adults, like you are forced to grow up quickly in a way that no one can really prepare you for. And like in what ways I guess did being praised for being, I'm assuming, getting called mature like a lot of

[B]

young girls badge of honor?

[A]

Yes. Like, how did getting called mature and strong reinforce those traits as like the eldest daughter to like step up and to take everything on yourself?

[B]

I think it does feel very rewarding when you're young. You're like, oh, I'm doing something good, I'm doing something right. Me today is like, there's no such thing as good or bad or right or wrong. There just is. And I think I very much was just trying to survive the circumstances that I was living. And when we lost our home, which was kind of like the catalyst as well as, and I talk about this in my documentary actually, but the addiction kind of playing a huge part in, in the four walls that I was growing up with, with my dad being an addict, we had nothing. We found ourselves living in my grandparents converted garage. It's six of us and you know, there was no insulation. We, we did have carpet. It was just rolled out on the ground though. It's concrete on the other side. So it wasn't soft or plushy, but it was carpet. And it was, it wasn't tough though. Like you're a kid, there's a bit of naiveness that I think was in my favor, if that makes sense. Because I was like, oh, it's a big sleepover every single night. Like, oh, I'm sharing a bed with my baby sister. Like, oh, cuddles. You know, like it was never looked at as something that I was like ashamed of. At least not yet. Because in that time you're so young, you don't really know what's happening or you do, you have an idea, but you can't really do something about it, you know, so you're just, you're just making with what you got.

[A]

And like, when you talk about how, you know addiction in those four walls, like, when you look back, like, how long do you feel like you were in survival mode of, like, there's nothing I can really do. I just gotta, I just gotta get up every day and go do my thing?

[B]

I mean, the truth is, is it's generational. Yeah, it's generational. And I think when you and anybody, I think, who's probably tuning in knows if you, you've grown up around addiction, it is, there's something there. It's. It's not always just drugs. It's not always just alcohol. You know, sometimes it's work. There's a, an avoidance of type that fuels this, this deeper wound. And that is absolutely generational. You know, so this is before my parents, this is before my, my grandparents even. And I have a lot of empathy around that for sure. But I, I would say then the moment I came out, you know, I had young high school sweetheart parents who, who got married straight out and were like, we want to have a family. And by the time my mom was 23, she had all four kids.

[A]

And I think what's so interesting, when something is generational, it's like, it inevitably is so hard to not have it just be this, like, normalized, understood thing that it actually takes someone going against the grain and making things like, a little uncomfortable or calling things out to actually have it not continue to be this transgenerational trauma. But that takes such an effort to break. And so when you are such a young child, how are you going to do anything other than, like, fall in line and play your role? And then eventually when you have some more autonomy, then you'll be able to look back and be like, huh, what would I have changed about that dynamic? But until you have that, there's nothing you can really do. And I think something that could be really relatable to the audience watching is like, it makes me think back to that word, mature as a young girl. Like, you shouldn't have to be mature at such a young age. So when you are given that validation that makes you feel like you're in the inner circle of adults. It's intoxicating. But what it really is, when you get older, you look back, you're like, that's really dangerous to tell a young woman. Like, you're so mature, you're so strong. It's like, but should I have had to be that mature and strong? Like, did you ever feel like why am I carrying a lot of this weight? Like, did it. When did that click for you? Because I'm assuming it did.

[B]

It absolutely did. It manifested physically before it did with like full conscious awareness. So a lot of my symptoms were full blown panic attacks, multiple a day, chronic people pleasing. I just. The words no. Like, the way my body would just like literally, like contortion in a sense, if I, like really felt to know and I had to say it and then. And most times I would fold and I'd be like, okay, well, maybe not like, because I'd see the reaction on the other side. Growing up in this industry longer than I've ever not been doing it, it was like the perfect storm. So it starts within the households, right? The four walls that I grew up in. But then the conditioning that happens in the industry. It's very rewarding when you start to gain success for being such a chronic people pleaser because you're like, wow, you love me. You. You choose me when I'm doing what you want me to do.

[A]

But what you're also though, saying, Becky, is like, you grew up in a place where you were people, please.

[B]

How many times did I have to say yes?

[A]

Right? So no wasn't.

[B]

It wasn't really an option. It didn't feel like it.

[A]

Can you also talk about. You mentioned earlier, which I think so many people will relate to, is also the added level of complexity of being the eldest daughter.

[B]

Oh, girl, you want to get into birth order theories? We could do that. We can do attachment theories. I. I am definitely someone who I think in the beginning was like, oh, I'm just an empath. Like, that just is, you know, like, and. And I am, I am somebody who chooses to lead with, you know, kindness and awareness around how someone is allowed to feel how they want to feel, even if it doesn't align with where I'm at. But that's like the progress part that I've gotten to. If we rewind a few years ago, yeah, I was like, oh, I'm just. I have to be a self sacrificer. I have to give up mine for the greater good. I have to, you know, think logically and not about how I actually feel. And I think a lot of firstborns feel that way. But what's cool about learning about birth order theory? Because I'm the oldest of four and I will stand ten toes down for my brothers and my sister. I'm so thankful that they exist and they are my best friends. They didn't have it easy either, you know, so it's not that, like, firstborns have it the hardest, but it's that we have a different version of our parents. All of us do.

[A]

It's such a good point, because I have friends who are the oldest child, and that is so in line with what they've said. And then also I think any of my friends who are the oldest and had some instability in their home. A lot of times we talk about how a parentified child develops such a high EQ because you're so hyper aware of every single person's emotions in your family, and it almost forces you to be one step ahead of every situation. So that, you know, like, this is how I'll solve it. This is how I'll handle it. Like, this is going on with my parents. Like, this is how I'm going to save my siblings, is how I'm going to save myself. This how I'm going to fix the situation. And you're constantly having to be ahead and thinking of everyone but yourself, and it's hard to realize that everyone's emotions are not your responsibility.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm curious if you have any advice now, as you've, like, clearly done a lot of work on yourself and lived a lot of life to anyone who is watching that has still that, like, weight or burden of being the oldest child and taking on so much responsibility.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, wait. As you're saying this, it's literally making me think about. There was a time where I. Oh, my God. It's gonna be really embarrassing to share. I don't think I've ever shared this story, but I remember I was. We were going through a lot as a family, and I was like, I was offered this opportunity to be a part of, like, this, like, Disney holiday experience. And I was going to perform, and it was gonna be the coolest thing ever. And I. Me and my family, we're from Cali. Like, we loved going to Disneyland growing up, and my baby sister had never been to Disney World before, so I was like, oh, my God. Like, you know, things are not so good at home. I'm going to take my baby sister to Disney World is going to be amazing. I'm going to do some work, but we're going to have a good time. I do drinks around the world in Epcot and have one too many, and I wake up in my hotel room and I'm like, wait, the sun hasn't even gone down yet. Like, what happened? Like, I was in full panic mode. Palpitations. Like, I'm sweating. I'm looking at my sister, and the moment I look at her, I just start crying, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. And my sister's, like, crying, but she's, like, laughing. She's like, this is my baby sister, guys. And we're. Because we're going through so much at home, I was like, I wanted to, like, take her to have a break from everything that we've been going through. And then here I am getting all topsy turvy, upside down.

[A]

Yeah, but it sounds like, Becky, it's because you needed a break.

[B]

Complete breaking point. And I'm over here crucifying myself, right? And I'm like, I'm the worst sister on the planet. Like, I can't believe I did this. Like, I ruined the trip. Like, I'm so sorry. I'm, like, profusely apologizing to her. I'm apologizing to my girls who are on the trip. Morgan, who we were talking about earlier, my stylist. Shout out to Morgan, you know? And so it was like a very small group of us, and I. I call them to the room, and I, like, I'm, like, putting on this, like, you know, confessional, like, apology of, like, why I did what I did, and I'm explaining myself, and they're literally looking at me like, are you serious right now? As they're still tipsy, by the way, right? They're like, girl, they're like, do you know what I have done? Blackout drunk.

[A]

And also, like, girl, like, you. All of us are here because of you. You. You were looking at your sister being like, I am going to give you the reprieve that you need. Meanwhile, it's like, what we just talked about. Like, hey, actually seems like someone may need it a little bit more.

[B]

Me, I needed it a little bit more. And, yeah. And I was just like. And I walked away from it being like, wait. And so it just led to a much more open conversation around other young women my age who were like, wait, don't do this to yourself. Like, by the way, you know that's, like, a thing, right? People go drinking around Epcot, and it's like a challenge of, like, how far can you go? And, bitch, you made it to frozen. Like, you were like, let it go. Let it go. And we were like, yes. Like, let it go.

[A]

And you're in your head thinking you ruin everyone's time. Yeah. And you're like, oh, my God, I ruined this whole thing. And it's like, girl, you.

[B]

Why couldn't I just.

[A]

Because of Those people pleasing tendencies where you're like, yes, it's. You're so hardwired, essentially.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ready for the worst case scenario. Ready to make sure that everyone else is comfortable. And everyone's like, becky, go back to bed. You're like, oh, yeah, that's.

[B]

That's just like a good example. Like, you know, some people are just like, girl, I don't even remember what happened. Wasn't that so funny? No, I was like, oh my God, I don't even remember what happened. Like, how did we get back? Like, oh my God, I put my baby sister in the worst position. As if she's not also like a whole like grown ass young woman herself, you know? And so it was just like one of those times where I was like, yo, I need to check in with myself and I need to like dive into this. Like, why am I hanging myself up for something that should actually lead me to more curiosity.

[A]

Yes. Like, what is going on? And it's like, what's so crazy? Because I have siblings too, and I'm the youngest, but it's like when you have dynamics with your siblings, no matter how old you get, you still kind of see each other in those four walls that you grew up in. And so when you are around your siblings, like my siblings and I have had some really beautiful conversations around, like, regressing almost when we're around each other because, like, I still feel like the baby and you still feel like my oldest sister. And like, there's so much history that you meet adults and you're a complete different person to these people that you're interacting with. They don't see you as the oldest daughter. They don't see you as someone who was trying to help provide for them. So there's like so much ingrained in family dynamics that are so beautiful, but also, like, they can be really big wounds that you have to like, actively recognize and be like, girl, your baby sister is fine. You took her to Disneyland and she's a big enough adult that she could have managed herself. You can't ruin.

[B]

The party continues. Like, I sit in the room, I ate some chicken nuggets and I definitely was like, I need to sober up and take a shower. But the party continued with the vibes and the Disney of it all, and everything was fine. Everything was totally fine, by the way. I was like, is there pictures? Is there videos? Like, did somebody catch me off guard? And they were like, no, like, you were so normal, like, you're so fine. But I was going through so much panicking. That I like completely shut off and like, you know, I think that that, that is like a really good example of like just how far on the spectrum you can go of like codependency, people pleasing, like you don't give yourself any space and grace to just be a young 20 something year old. Figuring it out.

[A]

I was going to say it also feels like from your upbringing, like you really had to be in school, such control at all times because there was no plan B, there was no safety net. It's like you need to figure this out because there's no other option. And I know you had a complicated relationship with your father. How did that dynamic influence just like decisions you made growing up as a child?

[B]

You know, it's really interesting looking back at it now. I think I had a lot of anger. Anger wasn't an easy emotion for me to process. Obviously they say anger is sadness. What is it? Sadness is a bodyguard. And so my anger I would put towards my career. I just thought that the more successful I became, the more I made, the less this would be an issue. And if I became a better husband to my mother and I became a better father to my siblings, then, you know, maybe he'll figure it out. You can't do the work for someone else, you know, and I, I wish, yes, of course you can't go back in time, but I wish younger me had someone to, to lean on and also hear that from because it is this like unspoken permission that you give yourself to say, you know what, not my problem.

[A]

But it takes a long time to get there.

[B]

It takes a lot. And when it feels like the whole entire family system depends on you for that. And by the way, every person who plays a part in that system feels the same way. Right. So it's like, like I said, it's this like unspoken thing. But yeah, it's definitely something that I wore for a really long time. And there was a lot of avoidance with that with my dad and I, I just tried to out dad my dad. That's how I became a big daddy, you know.

[A]

How do you think like that essentially sounds like. Yes, anger and resentment towards your father. Like how do you think it impacted your view of like just like authoritative figures at a young age? Like did you respect male figures and adults? Were you scared of them?

[B]

I think it made me more vulnerable. I didn't necessarily respect my dad and we've had many conversations about this. I had no respect for him and, and the choices that he was making. I still had love for him and so the care to want to continue to move things along for the sake of my siblings and their mental health and their emotional well being, that desperate need was, was very much present. But it made me vulnerable to looking to other men in the industry to be like the one who is going to look out for me like big brother figures or other father figures. And like, these people are not your daddy. They are not your big brother. They are, they can be healthy partners actually in business. But if you put this like very young filter on it, you are, you're like, wow, no one's ever looked out for me or believed in me in that way. And you, you hold the keys to, to, to the treasure box that I'm trying to unlock of, of what's gonna get me to where it is that I, I know I can get. And so you are, you absolutely are vulnerable to it. But that was something that I needed to work through that wasn't anyone else's fault.

[A]

You know that point too, and I bet so many women will relate to. What you're talking about is like the feeling of never ending. Like you just said, like I wanted to out dad my dad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is like such a heavy thing to feel because you're, you're never gonna be the dad of your family. But you tried, clearly. And then that's gonna like linger. Yes. Into these male relationships where you're like, can you play this one role that I needed in this role? Like, what did out dating your dad look like in your childhood for you?

[B]

Yeah, I mean I became the sole provider for my family by 16 years old girl. Yeah. And it looked like being at, you know, peaks on charts and not having any health insurance because when you work in the entertainment industry, you know how that goes. Like, it's not, you don't. Health insurance isn't built into a record deal. You know, like, these are things that, you know, I was able to provide for myself but like, when it came to my family, I was like, my dad's losing his job. Like, my siblings got to get through school tuitions have to get paid, like, and they deserve to play sports if they want to, like, because they're good at it. And I, I have an escape. They deserve an escape too. So it, like I just needed to produce more than for myself but for everyone else since. Yeah, since my very, very early teen years.

[A]

It's so much pressure to put on yourself.

[B]

Yeah, it, it was, it was a lot.

[A]

Was anyone there to support you?

[B]

I think that people were there to support me in the best Ways they knew how to. Yeah, I think my mom. Oh, my God. My mom is my girl. Like, my mom is. Is somebody who. Even when she didn't know what was going on, I think she had a good read on things. I remember they're getting it. Getting to a point where I had worked so hard to. To. To get far in my career. And optically, things were very successful behind closed doors, things were not very successful financially. You know, I was carrying a lot of weight. And so if I was just a single girl living on her own, like, I'd be just fine. But I'm providing for my whole family, and, you know, it looks a lot different. And so I remember just kind of, like, finally, like, looking up and being like, wow, I'm still here. Like, I'm still here and not in a good way. Like, I haven't moved forward. Like, I'm still in the same neighborhood I grew up in. I'm still dealing with the same. When it comes to, like, my parents and their marriage, I'm still carrying these weights. I'm still. And I. And I thought I. I reached, like, a milestone at that point that many my age hadn't even really reached, and I was still hung up on the fact that, like, but we're still here. Like, you know, and. And I think that my mom, when she witnessing me in that moment, you know, it gets to a point where you had a breaking point. You're like, I. This pressure is unbearable. That, like, I don't even want to exist anymore. And I remember my mom grabbing me by the face and telling me, you could choose to never pick up a microphone ever again. And I promise you, it's okay. Like, you. You're good. We'll figure it out. We've always figured it out. Like, it's not on you. This isn't on you. And she took that off of me.

[A]

Were you able to fully hear that, though? Like, could you believe it?

[B]

I did not receive it, girl. That's a whole other thing. Was I willing to receive it? No, because, again, the system isn't. It's. It's subconscious. It's not. I don't think our parents go through life saying, I want to cause our kids harm. I don't think our grandparents do that, saying, I want to cause my kids harm. You know, these are just things that systemically exist, you know? And so when I say it's generational, like, it's generational. And so I'm like, yeah, but somebody's got to do it. Because if I don't who else Will will. And that was the voice that kept me going for a really long time until I ended up in therapy and I was like, yeah, I can't. This isn't sustainable.

[A]

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[B]

Oh, tremendously, tremendously. I think the first time we ever experience love is through our parents eyes, you know, and it's yes, of course in the way they love us, but also in the way they love each other. And I think I grew up in a culture, I mean, it's gonna sound funny, but it was like very Ride or die. And like me today is like, if I ride, why do I gotta die? Like why we gotta die? Where are we going? I want to know. Like if I'm riding, there's some conditions here, there's some boundaries that I'd like to put in place, you know. But it was very much this, like my grandma would say this phrase to my mom with my dad in, in regards to their marriage, like ponte las guantes, mija. Like put, put your gloves on, like you're gonna fight for your marriage. And I remember being young and being like, well that's very one sided, like shouldn't it be both sides? Like shouldn't it be? But you can only meet people as deep as they've met themselves. And I think my mom had a very profound way of loving and my dad did too. But it just looked very differently, you know, it looked very different.

[A]

I know you grew up in a household where one of your parents cheated and then in your documentary you opened up about being betrayed by your partner. How did you decide to share that with the world?

[B]

You know, I remember going into that process with the documentary in particularly and there being conversations about are you going to talk about this, you know, very public situation, Are you not going to talk about it? And I was like, well, we're going to talk about it. We have to. To me, I've always believed like half a truth is still a lie. And there was conversations about like why I just wouldn't even mention it. Like some people don't even know what happened. Like some people don't even, even are looking for it. And I'm like, yeah, but how can I had been in a relationship with someone for so many years and do a body of work, you know, that's supposed to really capture where I am in this time in my life and also my history and control, alt, delete and pretend that this person never existed, you know. And I was in many relationships, but particularly in a long term relationship since I was 19 years old. And I know that there's like things online about like the 19 theory, like, you know, when you Go. I think anybody who gets into a serious relationship at a young age isn't conscious of the fact that you are going to shed and you are going to go through seasons, and that doesn't stop necessarily, but in your younger adult years. I think I had a very strong sense of self based off of old programming. And when I went through this very public situation with my partner, it was like this, like, awakening. It was this, like, moment of, like, oh, there's a massive misalignment in who I thought I was and who I actually am. And I think that that happens a lot for people who grow up in family systems where it's like, you can see it on someone else. So easy to judge someone else and say, oh, my God, like, don't you see it? You know? And then you can find yourself on the other side of that table the next day and be like, wait, hold on. Not everything is what it seems. And also, I am not my mother and he is not my father. And so there's also the possibility that there's an opportunity here for there to be some healing, whether together or not. An opportunity, though, nonetheless, to really practice what it is to be the person that I know I want to be in this world versus who I thought I was. Right. And. And. And that's like, going so far back into again, the conditioning of the chronic people pleasing and, like, wanting to just say yes and wanting to be, like, sweep it under the rug and keep it moving, you know?

[A]

Yeah. And even, like, I appreciate you saying that because I think having had, like, you just, like, we're talking about, like, watching your father cheat on your mother and being like, okay, I have a documentary moment where I have something playing out in my life that to me, at face value, could look like I'm reliving what happened to my parents. But now I need to assess it and be like, I can't let my. My. From my past influence, like, what is how I feel right now with this partner and what do I want to do? Like, do you mind talking about just, like, when you found out, like, how did it affect you? Because you're obviously in such a more healed place now. But, like, I've been there. I have been there, girl, where, like, I stayed with someone who cheated and I wanted to stay, but I was. It was so complicated because those. Those decisions are, like, people are judging. You don't know how to react. Like, how did you handle all this in the moment?

[B]

I think also you saying, like, you wanting to stay, it's interesting because your Want isn't enough. Like, you can want it so bad, but that's just not enough, you know? And I think that understanding where that want comes from is also really important, because if you're just doing it to want to prove other people wrong, then you're just doing it for others, and that's not a good place, you know, to come from. And it's interesting because, well, I've. First off, I've never talked about this, so it is. I'm thankful for the safe space to be able to talk about it, because some of the stuff that I was challenged with, there's a private heartbreak that's taking place, and then there's a public heartbreak that's taking place, and both are extremely painful. But what was. I think the hardest part for me to navigate through was giving myself that space and grace to make that decision for myself. And that was one of those moments where it was an opportunity for me to heal and look inward as to, okay, whether it's this person or another person that I get into a relationship with, I'm capable of still making these same decisions. So this is more than just like a, well, let me be the Barbie that everybody wants me to be and play cupid with all of these cute guys in the industry that everybody wants me to be, be with and. Because my life is supposed to be entertainment for other people, or let me, you know, really listen to what other people's perception is on what an empowered woman is. You know, this very binary thinking. Right? I wanted to go there. I really did. Oh, man. The therapy sessions that I had of this, like, very black and white space that I was existing, and it's like. Like, you know, and. And it was very clear to me that it was a space where I needed to decide for myself.

[A]

But that's so hard, Becky, because, like, I. I think we all know, like, there, especially because you were handling it in the public and private, like you just said. There is such a loud narrative, especially for women, of, like, if you stay, you don't respect yourself. If you stay, you're weak. And, like, what. What is your take on that assumption? And how did you manage to, like, block that out and be like, what do I want?

[B]

It's interesting you say that. There's a. A quote that Esther Perel, who I know you've even spoken to, who I love. I have the biggest girl crush on her.

[A]

She's amazing.

[B]

I remember hearing something along the lines of, like, you know, back in the days, women used to be shamed for leaving it Was just a mistake. How could you leave? How could you throw it all away? You know, he can change. And then now it's like the opposite. Now it's like, if you stay, you're a dumb you. You're a dumb you. So stupid. I cannot believe her. Oh, my God. I could never. I could never. And it's like the girls who would say I could never, like, I actually love that for you. I love that that's where you started that that was your ground zero. That was not my ground zero. My ground zero was people pleasing, self sacrificing, doing what other people wanted me to do, forgetting that I mattered in that equation. And this was an opportunity in my life to unlock and go inward and make this about me, which was so uncomfortable. You know, it was really, really uncomfortable to go inward and say, wait, this is about me and what I want. And if you know me, you know that I do not make decisions passively. And it was so hard to shut out the noise. And the insiders say, she didn't, she didn't even say anything. They just swept it under the rug and kept it moving. Like, no, I called off my engagement. I took off my ring. Like, there are things here that took place behind closed doors, privately between me and this person who I love and care for deeply, who I've been betrayed by. And we could go into the spectrum of betrayal because it looks different for everybody. But the thing about betrayal is, like, it doesn't just make you not trust the other person. You don't trust yourself anymore. And so that was like, this ain't even about you anymore. This isn't even about them anymore. This is about me. And there was something so empowering about that process to say, no, I come first. This is about me. What do I want? And there has to be alignment with the person on the other side. Like I said earlier, like, the want isn't enough. The love isn't enough. Like, it, love is, it's. It's a beautiful thing to experience for someone. But I mean, considering everything I went through with my family, like, I, I walked away from my dad, like it wasn't something that I wasn't willing to do. And so I think the misalignment from how, from a public perspective how it was so. And I'm not really like a controversial person, you know, maybe getting, getting blackout drunk at Disney World is probably the most controversial thing I've done. So it was so un. Unfamiliar for me to kind of like wear this, like, I don't know, this thing that was projected onto me that I am, like, not an empowered woman, that I'm a contradiction about what I sing about. And it's like, no, those feelings are real. What I sing about is real. Like, those. There's so much more nuance to emotions. Like, you're putting me in a box, and everything I've ever worked for is now being squeezed into this tiny. Like, I'm put to be this small all of a sudden. And it's like everything else I had ever worked on didn't matter anymore. And, like, of course I was. You think I was mad at everybody, the world. I was mad at him, too. I was like, come on, why do I got to be put in this position? You know?

[A]

It's so hard. It's like almost like when someone experiences it with their friends and family, not wanting them to go back, like, imagining that heightened to the hundredth degree where the world is like, what are you doing? What are you doing? And then putting the world aside for a second. Because I think this can be really relatable because, again, I went through it. Like, how did you navigate the emotions of feeling so hurt but loving someone so much?

[B]

I think that emotions aren't forever. They're temporary. They come and they go. I can't make life decisions based off of other people's emotions. In my comment section, you know, I think when you are a person on a platform or of some type of celebrity and fame, you are a bit of, like, a mirror to other people sometimes, and they think they're seeing you, but really what they're seeing is themselves. And so maybe they've gone through something. And that's why when. When a girl stands on her. I could never. I'm like, girl, at. From this point on, I could never. Trust me when I say I just had to get there. Like I said, their zero was that mine had to be learned, experienced, felt processed and. And really, like, worked on with real professional intervention before I could make that decision. And that was that. That's what was really, I guess, important to me when it came to the documentary and, like, talking about it, I was. You know, some people were like, it's very unresolved. Like, are they together? Are they not? And I was like, well, that. That's what it was. It was three years ago, and it was unresolved. We didn't know what was. We were gonna. We were committed to working on it, and we were committed to figuring it out. Because when you spend that much time with someone, it's not that you want to Forgive and forget. You almost have to remember. You have to remember what you come from and the hurt that's been caused. To know that you don't want to be capable of ever doing that to someone else ever again. And I got to experience that. And I did. There were close people to me with enough, I think, discernment to know that people who don't know me should not have a say in what I do with my life. But there was people in my close circle who were protective of me, of course, who were just as hurt and upset about what happened, but also just as curious and also just as supportive of the figuring it out. Because if. If this was gonna end, it was gonna end amicably. It was gonna end with clarity and with real resolution and with respect, because that's. That's what I deserve, you know, and if it's gonna continue, in the words of Esther Perel, I. I love her. It's gotta be a new relationship, because what was can no longer be anymore. And I know that there's a lot of things with, like, betrayal, you know, in relationships, any type of betrayal, trauma in general. It's like, it'll never be the same again. But maybe that's the point, you know?

[A]

Yeah, it's such a. It is such a great point. Can I ask, are you still together, girl?

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

Okay, so can we talk about, like, one. How does it feel right now? Just, like, talking about this for the first time?

[B]

I have butterflies.

[A]

Well, I'm happy for you because I remember in the days we. Weeks and, like, month following when this happened to me, when this happens, like, your. Your reality is so shattered because, like you said, you don't trust yourself. You don't trust him. You're like, wait, what. What just happened? I'm really struggling to understand how we got here. How did you stabilize your reality? And what questions did you need to start asking yourself that you're kind of referring to. That got you to this place where you knew you wanted to move forward.

[B]

I think removing myself from the relationship. Yeah. And in a way, that was

[A]

about

[B]

not just, like, self preservation, obviously. Like, I was distraught and broken in a lot of ways, but I think it was more like removing myself from the context of anyone I've ever had to be something to. So it was much deeper. Like, what came from this revelation wasn't just, like, my romantic relationship with this particular person. It's like every romantic relationship I've ever been in, every family relationship I've ever had, every business girl, every business relationship I've ever had. How, how many dynamics have I been in where this version of myself has been in the driver's seat and, and really taking the time to evaluate it, feel it, understand it, and then come to a place where then my needs, my wants are a lot more clear. And then getting to, you know, what is it called, like conscious uncoupling, you know, like conscious uncoupling to then be like this is the new baseline. Is there still alignment in where it is that we see ourselves, you know, and that was really empowering. Not just for me, I think for the, for the both of us, but, but especially for me like getting to a place where I was like, like, oh no, like I'm allowed to change, I'm allowed to evolve and I'm allowed to exist in this so much differently. And if I'm capable of doing it, what actions are you doing that proves that you are committed to the same thing. And that takes time. Like that doesn't happen in weeks, that doesn't even happen in months. Like this happens with continued effort and experiences and willingness and, and it's, it's that commitment to being different on, on both sides. I'd say that really is what unlocks the, the healing of it all.

[A]

How did you start to rebuild trust and like how did he meet you there? Because I think it, it really can't just yes. Be on the person who was the person who strayed. Like you also, like you're saying, have to take up accountability to also be like I'm not going to hold this over your head. I am choosing to move, move forward. Like what did rebuilding that trust look like for both of you?

[B]

I think you just know. I think it's just, it's so, it is. I, I remember being like, okay, well I can't trust my gut because my gut has led me into some funny places. Right. If I'm always going based off of survival mode. So like really I don't think over analyzing it but really being honest with yourself at what part is coming up. Like I did in, in individual therapy and family therapy and couples therapy. Like I do a lot of parts work and it's so helpful for me because it makes me understand that I'm not just this version of myself right now. I'm every version and this one and will be many more, you know. So like that grace that we were talking about before was something that I felt like I needed to take my time with. And so it was just, it was just me. I was really like learning to give myself the space and empowering myself with the experiences with professional intervention, especially to be able to. To feel good about this decision. Because, like I said, I think that whole, like, it'll never be the same again. Like, something about that was actually exciting. Like, oh, there can be something new. And it's like, oh, I'm not the same version of myself that I was when I was 19 when you first met me. You're not the same person that you were at 22 when I first met you. Like, we are very or 23 very different versions of ourselves today, you know, And. And so, I don't know, it's just this, like, earned wisdom, I guess you can say that kind of is the guide in that.

[A]

And I think what's so powerful, what you're talking about and very relatable, is how you're talking about. It's not just you as Becky at this age going through this with your partner. It's still like, I. We talked about the beginning of this is like. Like, the younger you watching your dad cheat on your mom and watching your mom with, like, the boxing glove analogy and being like, well, why do I gotta die? Like, why do I gotta ride or die? Like, what if we can have these honest conversations to go back a little bit to your childhood, how did you really, really have to consciously work to be like, my emotions right now are about my partner in this, or are my emotions right now about what my father did to my mother? And how am I gonna to.

[B]

That awareness was very evident to me from the. From the. From the beginning, I think, at least in this season of my life, when. When this took place. And so, yeah, I knew I couldn't trust myself in that moment to make any decision. It was like. It was again, very binary in my thinking. It was like, you're either yes or absolutely not. And it was like, I'm gonna end up in the same situation, if not here, with someone else, and I need to take this time to figure out why. Like, why? What is the why?

[A]

I remember, I think it's in your documentary. You kind of talk about how your dad wasn't, like, entirely secretive about his infidelity with you. And it put you in some really difficult situations. Like how when you look back at your younger self, do you think those moments impacted you as a little girl?

[B]

Yeah, it. Of course it impacts you. I think it definitely leaves an impression of, like. Like, oh, so that just happens. And, like, younger me, teenage me, out working my dad, being a better husband, being a better father, really standing on my I could never. It's different when you end up in your own situations, you know? And like I said, it wasn't just this particular relationship. It was like every relationship I had ever been in was a dynamic of me hoping that things would be different and masking this, like, subconsciousness of passiveness around this. To stay or to leave is anyone's choice to make, you know, for themselves. And I made my choice, and I. I made it from parts of me that I, like I said, really worked on and earned to feel good about that decision. But I also can see all the other sides now, you know, and it's. It's really a relief to be able to talk about it because I know that there's so many people who don't know me, fans who are very supportive and very loving, you know, who. Who saw me kind of going through this from an outside lens, not knowing the details, not knowing everything that actually happened, not knowing that what you see is not always what it is. And. And I feel like for them to know, like, it wasn't something that was done passively, and it wasn't something that wasn't done taking edge everything into consideration. It's not that it was important to me for validation, but it was important for me in the sense of standing up for myself, you know?

[A]

Absolutely. And I also, just to, like, reiterate what you're saying, I think it's so. I can even feel it from you. I'm also happy you're talking about it, because I can imagine, even if you don't give a. About what the Internet says or whatever, like, it is a little bit of an attack on your character when people are calling you weak or whatever, and you're like. Like, there's so much that you don't owe people to tell them the amount of work you were doing behind the scenes. But what I. What I would assume is, like, this is one of the most amazing parts of your life now that you've worked through it, and this is someone you genuinely love. And so to not be able to, like, feel fully like you can celebrate it because there has been this stigma. Like, I hope this now allows you to just, like, release that and know that, like. Like, there shouldn't be judgment around this, and you shouldn't have had to explain this, but now that you do, I can imagine there are so many women listening, being like, okay, like, how many of us have stayed? And it did work out, and that's beautiful, and if you didn't, that's beautiful for you, but we can't judge anyone's situation. Right.

[B]

Yeah. Without really knowing. It's interesting you say, I appreciate all of that. I will say, going back to, like, the PC that I feel, I don't think it's that I was waiting at all for anybody. I think it was more just feeling like I wanted to catch people up to speed on my time instead of on other people's time. Like going back to the pressure cooker. Like, I also wasn't hiding. Like, we go to the grocery store together. We, you know, like, we have good times together. We, our closest friends and family, you know, know what it is. And that's really all that matters to me. But I think. But it's that peace, you know, the. The difference between secrecy and privacy was unclear to me at a young age growing up in the industry with everything and anything. And I think anybody who grew up on the Internet, like, I got discovered at 14 years old making covers on YouTube. So I thought, like, what I eat for breakfast, everybody should know. When I take a shit on the toilet, hey, y', all, guess what I'm doing sitting on the toilet. You know, like all that era of like, real time posting, like, like, I don't know, it's. My relationship with it is so different and has definitely in. In a more evolved way, matured. That feels right size to the version of me that I am today, which is. I don't have it all figured out. I am absolutely not perfect. But do I feel empowered? Yes. Because empowerment as a woman isn't being perfect. It's living in your truth and standing in your truth. Truth and owning that there is a spectrum, an array of experiences and emotions and opportunities that are going to be taking place in this lifetime. And if I'm not fully present for it, that's where I'm really cutting myself short. And so to be fully present in this moment with you talking about what it's taken to get here, you know, from the beginning up until this point is, yeah, it feels really good and feels really liberating. It's. It's kind of what's been inspiring everything I've been working on.

[A]

So it's amazing because you can see how also passionate you are about this current era. I guess essentially you're in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you see yourself getting married?

[B]

Can I see? Absolutely, girl.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good to know.

[B]

I would love to. I'm like, reaper balls to me. Why not propose to me every year? Why not?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

I seen there was actually this really cute tik tok trend about this woman who is sharing that. And I thought it was adorable. But yeah, I guess to each their own.

[A]

You know, I think something that's so incredible about you is, like, you're so positive. And I think that when people are faced with really difficult situations in their life, not this specifically, but just like everything we're talking about, there's kind of a choice you have to make. Like, it's either going to define you or you're going to take it and you're going to grow from it. How have you managed to reframe challenges in your life and be so positive?

[B]

Can I just say this? I can say the same about you. No, no, I. I actually think, like, PTG post traumatic growth is a choice. And I do think that there is a shift in mentality that happened for me where it was like, I don't want to be a victim of anything. I want to be a survivor of things. And also, we deserve so much more than just to survive life, but to actually thrive in it. And that is also available to us too. And so I can change my mind today and that's okay. And I can, you know, embrace different versions of myself that thought they knew what was best and not shame them or judge them and same for future versions of myself. Like, I can build her up and I can be her greatest champion because I know she's waiting for me like a relay. Like, this is. This shit's a marathon, girl. And we are all running it with ourselves and we just gotta keep going. But constantly, of course, with connecting with ourselves, understanding, like, what is it actually going to take of me? What is it going to cost me? Because when I say yes to something, I'm also saying no to something else. And if I'm saying notice something that actually means more to me, like, I should take time to understand that, you know? And so with everything that's been taking place with my growth now being kind of the. The source of inspiration, the phoenix that I feel that I am rising from the ashes of. Of so much that I had to overcome in my younger years. I just feel like. I know it sounds funny and we talk about being a bad, but like, man, like, it feels really good to know, like, I've always. She's always been there. This isn't like a new era. This isn't like, this is just an expansion of who I am, you know, Like, I'm just evolving.

[A]

And I think it's so inspiring for people listening because, like, I can assure everyone that you and I have both sat in moments in Our life where it has felt like the lowest and it has felt so horrible. And the positive you can tell yourself when you are going through the toughest times is knowing all of this is going to make you stronger. And then you will sit here one day like Becky G being like, girl, I feel like a bad. I feel confident. And it's like, because the amount of things that try to chip away at your confidence and your self esteem, if you do not become a victim of those circumstances and you actually use it as power and strength, you end up just being like, oh, I am unstoppable. As corny as it sounds like, I think for women it's important to hear because it is such a hard ride that all of us in our own journeys have to ride. But when you start to kind of reshift that mentality, it doesn't happen overnight. But at some point you're like, am I going to just keep getting knocked down and be like, this is so depressing. This person did this to me. I hate that. Or you can actually change your entire life if you just reframe the way you look at things.

[B]

And it is a lot easier said than done. My advice would be to feel it. Like, shit is still shit. You could put perfume on it, you could put a bow on it, you could put sprinkles on it, bedazzle it. It's still shit. Let the shit be shit. It's a shitty situation. Like give yourself permission to feel it. Because once you can allow yourself, emotions are energy, emotion. So let it go through you.

[A]

Let it the be the be.

[B]

And remember, you're always deep down inside you are that like you really are. And she's just gotta, like, we forget. Like, I think we live in such a hustle culture where it's like we're like proud to be. Like, I'm burnt out, like, oh my God, I haven't slept. Like, don't be proud of that mama. Like, rest, recover, like prioritize like your, your well being. Like these are things that like, like of course I had to learn. But like I, I definitely hold so much grace for the past versions of myself that had led me to this version. Because I'm just like, damn. Like we really are out here functioning, thinking that like it's just gonna move on. And it's like this too shall pass is something that I've lived by for sure. But I think that, you know, life will keep meeting you with the same lessons until you actually listen and learn it. And you, you can think, oh, you know different job or different person or a different environment, like I move my life across the world. You will continue to attract the same things if you don't level up your frequency and nurture yourself and put yourself first.

[A]

Girl. Yeah, we all needed that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

I think we are realizing that I always say, junta, somos mas. Together we are so much more. And I've been blessed that in my career I've been able to lead with that mentality. And there were situations growing up in this industry, whether it was on in the English market or in the Spanish market, when that. Which now I'm just like, I'm Spanglish speaking. I know English, no Spanish. I just am who I am. But specifically in the earlier years, where it was very separate, that programming was still the same, like, deeply rooted in the media and in the industry systems. And it was interesting going into, like, Spanish music because it was the most empowered I ever felt as a young woman in my artistry. But it was the most macho world that I could be involved in. And there was very few of us at the time. And it was like an iconic, like, few of us, you know, that were doing it like, on. In. In the mainstream way. And I look back at it and it's like the fact that radio or playlisting had the audacity to be like. Like, we can only have one female in rotation. And I'm like, so you're gonna say that to me? Carol G. Natina, Tasha, Anita, like, who are all global superstars in their own right today? But was Carol G. From Colombia, Anita from Brazil, you know, Becky G coming from La Nadina, Tasha coming from, you know, the Dominican Republic, like, that's what we're, that's what we were dealing with. We were dealing with being on, you know, radio show, radio shows, like festivals and stuff. And you know, you're toe to toe. Like, it was so cool to be a part. I, I, to me, my experience in it was really great because there was a lot of synergy with where we wanted to come together. But, you know, we're toe to toe with our boys, like on the charts, and we're like, haha, you know, we're all gang, gang and hanging out and they're just as supportive of us. But we're looking at their shows like, well, they've got 20 dancers and crazy scaffolding and amazing lighting, programming. And I'm here with four dancers and my dj, who's my cousin, who's been with me since day one. And we are very limited because what we're getting compared to what our male counterparts are getting looks very different. And instead of being like, why don't we get what they get? It was like, all right, we're gonna work together, so we're gonna get the same makeup artist. I'm gonna get the early shift, you'll get the later shift. Or swap, swap skis on the next show and I'll get her flights and you book her hotel. And then, you know Angie, right? Angie. Angie was our girl. Angie, she's that girl ever.

[A]

Angie. Shout out. She has the best beat.

[B]

Shout out. Angie. Mar. So Angie would come with us and she'd be glamming all the girls and we'd all be like, pitching in and it'd be like, we all look amazing. We all have the beat that we wanted. We all have like, the, the styling and the everything because we were working together behind the scenes. And I don't think people really know that that that type of, like, teamwork was already being practiced backstage. And it was this like, iron sharpens iron. Like, it's not personal. It's not me versus you, it's us versus the system. And damn, it was so powerful. Like, we made history together. All the female collaborations that I've ever put together have done in incredible things, like history making numbers. And that make brings me so much pride because it's so much more than a hit song. Like, hit songs happen every single day. I saw something bigger the amount of times somebody would tell me, if you think it's such a hit, why would you share it with somebody else? Like, why? Why do you want to do this with them? And because it's them and I meet and us together is We. Which is massive. Like, I needed to see that as a little girl. So I don't know. I guess for me, it's not really, like, how do we prove to other people that we're deserving and worthy? No, we know we're deserving. We know we're worthy. Y' all better catch up or get out the way.

[A]

And how incredible, because, no, I. I don't think a lot of us knew that story. I think it's pretty. Again, rare because the system is set up up for women to feel so competitive with each other. The fact that you four women looked at each other and you were like, let's all go in on this together to basically support. Help further all of our careers, that is such a testament to an exact example of how we actually can all further push a bunch of us up the hill instead of one person.

[B]

And that's just how I move. Like. And I. And I hope it does inspire more people. You know, I do think that it's a unfortunate that we are still having the one seat at the table conversation, but, like, look around. Other tables are being built, and you can build your own. And it doesn't have to be what it was. It can be something new. Going back to, like, that radical change in your mind. Like, it. You can change your mind. You know, you can. You have the power to do so Amazing.

[A]

Can we talk about your new music?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You have a new single, Marathon, and you look so good in this music. Music video. I was mesmerized.

[B]

I'm like, wait, really? Wait. What did you think? I need to know.

[A]

It's so, like, I was literally. This is me. I'm sitting at my kitchen table. When I was watching, I was literally like, this. The outfits, the glam, the styling, the dancers, the whole thing. I'm like, you're. You're amazing. You're incredible.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And you're so talented. But, like, what can you tell us about it? Like, how did this come together? How did this song come together? What does it mean to you?

[B]

It was just like this divine alignment. I don't know how else to explain it other than that. Like, it was just this, like, taking my power back. And when I did Marathon, I was like, this just really encompasses exactly where I am, exactly where I am and exactly where my audience is. Because the alignment of what's happening with Shower and Marathon, like, a decade and plus. And I have, you know, the comment section saying, this is my middle school song and my favorite my freshman year. This is my favorite. I was like, Technically, mine, too. We all grew up together. We all have been out here pushing forward, like, doing what we do, doing the best that we can. And the fact that there's this synergy of just, like. And we're going to keep going, it's just. I don't know. It feels so special.

[A]

Well, and it is such. It's such a good song where you're like, I, like, want to, like, get ready to this. When I'm going out with my girlfriends, I want to listen to this, like, when I'm alone in the car. And I need a little, like, confidence. Like, it has all of those things that you want in a song, but it's also so clearly your style. Like, it's just so right. And I'm so happy for you. Like, it's such an. It's really incredible.

[B]

Like, I'm so much. That makes me so happy.

[A]

What went into the writing process?

[B]

Yeah. So I would say the whole process from, like, beginning to end, including, like, music video and even, like, playing it for fans before its actual release was, like, so interesting. And how, like, there was just a lot of things that were just like, oh, this is meant to be. Oh, this is meant to be.

[A]

Can you feel it when you have a feeling?

[B]

I really do think I know this. There has been moments where I'm like, you know, I don't think you really know. Like, you don't really know what's gonna happen. There have been moments where I'm like, oh, this feels so good. This feels so right. I don't even really care what happens after this. Yeah, it's just so right. Like, this is just. Oh, it feels great. And to get to that in my artistry at this phase of my career, having been through so much, it's, like, so beautiful and such a blessing to be able to feel that and know that that's possible. But from beginning to finish, it was like. It was just a good time. Like, everything that I've made in this season is, like, even if we're crying, we're crying in the club, girl. Like, we are, you know, like, it's a vibe. It's meant to bring joy. And that was important to me because everything that is happening right now, like, around us is not. Like, it's not giving joy. Like, it's not giving joy. It's been giving pressure. It's been giving hate. It's been giving so much negativity. And to be in a position of privilege as an artist earned privilege to get into a space where I feel safe enough to lean into my individuality, my empowerment, my, like just this liberation. I was like, I need to put this into a song so that I can micro dose it to my fans so that if they are going through something like they listen to this song, they know they could shake their ass. And they deserve to shake their ass. Like they deserve this moment right now for themselves. And Marathon is like, that's like, I. You gotta have the hype girl. You gotta be your own biggest hype girl.

[A]

Before we go, in your documentary, you said Becky G came to save Rebecca. What relationship do you feel like Becky G and Rebecca have today?

[B]

Oh, man. I did say that, huh? I would say that. Look, I've, I've been blessed to collaborate with so many amazing artists in, in my career, but I feel like this is my greatest collaboration yet. Me with myself. Yeah, it's been beautiful to know that, like Becky G, the boss, the person who says it, how it is, who goes on stage and doesn't second guess herself, she's very much real. And Rebecca, who is this more vulnerable, more passionate, more intimate, more sensual side of myself, is also a star in what I've been doing lately. So it's just like, yeah, I'd say they're like the best collaborators now. Yeah.

[A]

I think it is such a beautiful message to anyone watching of like, your circumstances growing up don't need to define you, but you can use them as your greatest strengths. And now the fact that you make music for people and like, even you saying, like, I do this for my fans, I want them. If you're having a bad day, you can listen to my music like, you're still doing what you did at a young age, but now in the capacity, like you said, where it is like genuinely something you want to do, you don't have to do it. And that's incredible. And I just so much. I'm a fan. I'm. I'm truly like so inspired by you and like, I can't thank you enough for your time and for sharing so much about your life.

[B]

No, I can, I can say the same. The feeling is absolutely mutual. It's funny, one thing I did think about before coming into this is what I admire most about you is that you really are a facilitator for a safe space. And so when it comes to like, you know, we want to keep things light as a feather today, like, let's just talk about the fit girl. Like, let's just talk about your outfit, that's totally fine. And if we want to go as deep as the ocean. Like, I'm right here with you. Let's talk therapy. Let's go there. And I think that, that, that is something that obviously for someone in my position is. Is just such a blessing because ultimately anybody who's listening to this, like, we're all just human beings. We're all looking for quality connection in life. And there is no difference between me, you, and whoever the hell is listening to this in their car, at home with their homegirls or all alone. Like, we're just. We deserve. Yeah, we deserve that.

[A]

No, this is the girl talk we needed. Becky G, thank you so much for coming on.

[B]

Call her daddy so much.

[C]

Friendly heads up. Taxes are due April 15. The good news Taxact makes it easy to file online and they guarantee your maximum refund. You can even add expert assist if you want some help from a real tax expert. Nothing beats that taxes are done feeling. Let's get them over with.

[A]

K Pop Demon Hunters Saja Boy's Breakfast Meal and Hunt Tricks meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share.

[B]

No, it's our honor.

[A]

It is our larger honor. No, really, stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a me meal to pick a

[B]

side and participate in McDonald's while supplies last.

[C]

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