Podcast Summary: Call Her Daddy – Episode with Bethany Joy Lenz: One Tree Hill & Escaping a Cult

Introduction

In this compelling episode of Call Her Daddy, host Alex Cooper engages in a deep and revealing conversation with actress Bethany Joy Lenz. Best known for her role as Haley James Scott on the beloved TV series One Tree Hill, Lenz opens up about her harrowing experience being involved in a cult while maintaining her acting career. This detailed summary captures the essence of their discussion, highlighting key points, personal insights, and profound revelations.

Bethany Joy Lenz's Journey to Healing

Bethany Joy Lenz's New Book

Bethany Joy Lenz introduces her new book, Dinner for Vampires, which chronicles her decade-long ordeal within a cult and her path to liberation. Reflecting on the book's release, she shares her mixed emotions:

“I feel proud of it... It becomes part of the healing was recognizing how relatable my story was to so many other people...” ([01:40])

Childhood and Familial Dynamics

Lenz delves into her childhood, describing herself as a lonely child with a vivid imagination. Being an only child, frequent moves, and family struggles with addiction and codependency contributed to her sense of isolation:

“I was an only child and my parents were wonderful, but... We moved a lot, so it was hard to maintain friendships.” ([05:00])

Her relationship with her parents was tense yet rooted in deep love and faith, which lacked the foundational strength needed for lasting relationships:

“What was it like? It was tense. It was very tense... There was no sense of it in terms of my experience with that movement...” ([05:31])

Entering the Cult: A Search for Belonging

Seeking Community in Los Angeles

Upon moving to Los Angeles to pursue acting, Lenz sought a sense of community akin to what she experienced in New York. This search led her to a seemingly benign Bible study:

“I was looking for a place to belong still. Where do I fit? Where do I belong?” ([11:22])

Meeting Les and Gradual Control

Les, the cult leader, entered the scene gradually, initially appearing as a supportive pastor. His slow integration into the group allowed him to build trust and influence members subtly:

“He started investing in the lives of the group members... It felt encouraging and felt like I was being challenged...” ([14:18])

Lenz recalls her initial cautious impression of Les, noting an uneasy feeling despite outward appearances:

“My first impression was that he was just kind of a jolly guy... But I felt terrible and I was like judging myself...” ([13:09])

Manipulation and Control: The Cult's Hold

Undermining Independence

The cult propagated the belief that independence equated to rebellion against God, discouraging personal growth and fostering dependence on the group:

“The unhealthy version of that is independence is bad... that's problematic, and that needs to be addressed and shut down.” ([16:45])

Financial and Career Control

Lenz details how the cult exerted control over her finances and career decisions, compelling her to abandon lucrative opportunities to maintain allegiance:

“They took $2 million from me. When I got out, I had about $250 left...” ([89:09])

Her acting career was manipulated to ensure she remained tied to the group, including giving up roles like Belle in Beauty and the Beast and controlling her financial assets:

“If I just stayed playing one character for 10 years... but if I'm meeting new people... there's just no way to control that.” ([65:24])

Personal Relationships Within the Cult

Arranged Marriage and Lack of Intimacy

Lenz was coerced into marrying the cult leader's son, QB, under the guise of spiritual authority. This relationship lacked genuine emotional and physical connection:

“Super typical in many Christian communities, this idea that the man is the spiritual authority in a household...” ([68:36])

Impact on Friendships and Co-stars

Her involvement in the cult strained relationships with friends and co-stars. While she maintained professionalism on One Tree Hill, her personal relationships suffered due to her isolation and manipulation:

“I became someone that nobody really knew how to connect with... Every interaction I had was colored by that.” ([42:35])

The Path to Liberation

Realization and Therapy

Post-One Tree Hill, Lenz began recognizing the detrimental influence of the cult. Therapy played a crucial role in setting boundaries and understanding the manipulation she endured:

“The therapy was immensely helpful for me and started to teach me about boundaries.” ([80:19])

Legal and Financial Struggles

Escaping the cult led to a tumultuous custody battle and significant financial loss, underscoring the severity of the group's control:

“The court costs in total were about $350,000... It was absolute financial abuse.” ([84:51])

Lessons and Takeaways

Misconceptions About Cults

Lenz addresses common misconceptions about cults, emphasizing that they don't fit the stereotypical image of loud, controlling, and isolated communities:

“It's the same misconception I had... There's no legal definition of cult... it's like we've used it as this slang for things that are super weird.” ([92:16])

Rebuilding Trust and Setting Boundaries

Post-cult, Lenz struggles with trusting others but acknowledges the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries:

“I will give you the benefit of the doubt... when I see something weird... it's a case by case basis.” ([95:47])

Hope and Healing

Ultimately, Lenz's story is one of resilience and hope. She encourages others to seek help, set boundaries, and understand that they are not alone:

“I hope people feel like they're not alone... don't let shame keep you closed off and shut down and not talk about things.” ([96:33])

Conclusion

Bethany Joy Lenz's candid recounting of her experience within a cult while maintaining a high-profile acting career offers invaluable insights into the subtle mechanisms of control and manipulation. Her journey from isolation to empowerment serves as a beacon of hope for those seeking to break free from oppressive environments. Through her book and this heartfelt conversation, Lenz underscores the importance of self-trust, boundaries, and the relentless pursuit of personal freedom.

Notable Quotes:

• [01:40] Bethany Joy Lenz: “It becomes part of the healing was recognizing how relatable my story was to so many other people...”

• [05:00] Bethany Joy Lenz: “I was an only child and my parents were wonderful, but... We moved a lot, so it was hard to maintain friendships.”

• [13:09] Bethany Joy Lenz: “My first impression was that he was just kind of a jolly guy... But I felt terrible and I was like judging myself...”

• [16:45] Bethany Joy Lenz: “The unhealthy version of that is independence is bad... that's problematic, and that needs to be addressed and shut down.”

• [68:36] Bethany Joy Lenz: “Super typical in many Christian communities, this idea that the man is the spiritual authority in a household...”

• [89:09] Bethany Joy Lenz: “They took $2 million from me. When I got out, I had about $250 left...”

• [92:16] Bethany Joy Lenz: “It's the same misconception I had... There's no legal definition of cult... it's like we've used it as this slang for things that are super weird.”

• [96:33] Bethany Joy Lenz: “I hope people feel like they're not alone... don't let shame keep you closed off and shut down and not talk about things.”