Call Her Daddy – “Breakup Bootcamp” (Nov 19, 2025)

Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Lauren (close friend & confidante)
Theme: Deep dive into navigating breakups — from pain to empowerment, closure musts and no contact, to building a fresh chapter post-heartbreak.

Episode Overview

In this candid and compassionate episode, Alex Cooper responds to an overwhelming number of listener DMs following her last solo discussion about choosing the right partner. Recognizing many Daddy Gang listeners are struggling with breakups or relationships they know aren’t serving them, Alex reframes the topic of heartbreak, advocating for breakups as necessary, often transformative rites of passage. Co-hosted with her close friend Lauren, who’s supported her through the worst and vice versa, the episode delivers survivor stories, hard-won wisdom, and practical tips for anyone finding themselves at a painful crossroads.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reframing the Breakup

• Breakups as Transformation:
  “Yes, they absolutely suck... breakups can take you to some really dark and hard places. But I really do think they are also necessary in getting you closer to what’s actually meant for you. Right? You can learn so much from yourself from a breakup.” (Alex, 04:12)

• Grieving the Dream, Not Just the Person:
  The hardest part isn’t always the person leaving, but grieving the imagined future (the marriage, vacations, house, kids) now lost. Reframe ending a relationship as "succeeding at moving into a healthier stage" (Alex, 06:04).

• Social Pressures and Guilt:
  Women especially are conditioned to measure success by having a partner — Alex insists, “No one cares as much as you think they do...a decision on your relationship only actually affects your life.” (Alex, 07:08)

2. Alex’s Worst Breakup: Storytime & Lessons

(08:00–16:36)

• The Story:
  Alex shares in detail her most traumatic breakup: living with her boyfriend, envisioning a shared future, only to discover he was cheating. After a failed attempt at couples therapy, she returned home one day to find all her belongings in trash bags — she’d been dumped (and locked out) with no conversation, only to see him partying on social media while she cried on the sidewalk, “begging my parents to come pick me up.” (Alex, 08:58–11:57)

  “I literally thought my life was over. I was so lost after this happened to me. I felt so discarded and disrespected.” (Alex, 12:30)

• From Rock Bottom to Reinvention:
  That devastation eventually propelled her toward self-reflection and launching Call Her Daddy:

  “Guess what that directly led me to? Right after that breakup, I went on to start Call Her Daddy.” (Alex, 14:46)

• Message:
  You may not see it in the moment, but loss can spark your best new life chapter.

3. Friendship as First Aid

(19:35–21:26)

• After acute heartbreak, Lauren came over, bought sandwiches, and spent the night comforting Alex—with no “I told you so.”

  “All we did. We just slept and cried...that’s the perspective of a friend versus the person in it.” (Lauren, 20:52)

Practical Bootcamp: How to Break Up, How to Heal

Closure Conversations

(21:41–36:07)

• When Do You Deserve Closure?
  Especially crucial if you’re blindsided, but closure is often messy and prolonged by mixed signals (“he was saying ‘I love you,’ but also not coming back”—Alex, 24:11).

• Don’t Get In the Weeds:
  Avoid pressing for minutiae (“But did you really mean it when we looked for houses?”). Ask high-level, non-obsessive questions:

  “Try to stay more high level about, like, do you have an idea of when you knew, what is the biggest factor for this?” (Alex, 26:55)

• Clean Breaks vs. Lingering:
  Both Alex and Lauren admit to “lingering” instead of a clean break.

  “I have never, ever…been able to do a clean break…I have always lingered.” (Alex, 29:13)

Notable Advice – Closure

• Don’t offer false hope if you’re ending it:

  “If you're the one breaking up with someone...don’t do that. Especially if you know that’s not your true answer…just close the door.” (Alex, 28:35)

Scripts & Evolving Wisdom: How to Say “It’s Over”

(31:05–36:37)

• Lauren’s Script:
  Practiced: “I’m not in love with you and I’m breaking up with you.”
  In hindsight, Lauren feels this was overly cold and now advocates for nuance:

  “Can you say ‘I still love you’?” — “I think you can say ‘I still have love for you,’...but you cannot be madly in love with someone and be like ‘I’m leaving you,’ unless…” (Lauren & Alex, 34:09–35:29)

• Don’t Ask, “Do You Still Love Me?”
  When getting dumped, don’t cling to hope with this question—“Take the L and your pride.” (Alex, 32:45)

Key Segment Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |---------|-----------------------------------------------| | 02:10–06:00 | Reframing breakups: grief, pressure, and fear | | 08:00–16:36 | Alex’s worst breakup story and reflections | | 21:41–29:13 | Discussing closure conversations, pitfalls | | 31:05–36:37 | How to break up and handle emotions | | 37:06–43:10 | Lauren’s more mature breakup, moving out | | 45:09–51:02 | The No Contact rule—strategies & slip-ups | | 52:44–59:57 | Shared friend groups—triggers & boundaries | | 62:53–66:43 | Changing routines and spaces post-breakup |

Handling No Contact

(45:09–52:44)

• Strong Recommendation:
  “If someone were to ask me…if you can give one piece of breakup advice…Without question: no contact.” (Lauren, 45:45)
• Delete Texts, Unfollow on Social:
  “Delete your text messages with them…put the pictures on a hard drive.” (Alex, 51:04)
• Stalking via shared digital photo frame:
  Lauren confesses to watching her ex’s life for a month through a family photo-sharing app (“That’s like a different level of creep”). (Lauren & Alex, 47:42–48:26)

Navigating Shared Spaces & Friend Groups

(52:44–59:57)

• Limit Contact, Avoid Triggers:
  If you can’t move away like Lauren did, communicate with friends about not wanting to overlap at gatherings; avoid alcohol with exes present (“He may start to look nice again or you’re looking for a fight”—Alex, 56:38).
• Open Communication with Friends:

  “I think you need to have an honest conversation, like, guys, I know this is really annoying…just help me out a little bit here in this transition.” (Alex, 58:00)

• Avoid using mutual friends as spies for updates: – “Don’t do the thing where you start…sitting people down like, ‘So, do you know if he’s going on any dates?’” (Lauren, 58:46)

Creating a New Life After the Breakup

(62:53–66:43)

• Change Your Routine:
  Swap out coffee shops, gyms, even perfumes to unhook associations—“You want to limit the amount of constant reminders.” (Lauren, 66:25)
• If possible, change apartments/shared spaces. If not, redecorate:
  Rearrange furniture, switch decor—anything to refresh the environment and energy (Lauren, 66:25).

Advice to the Recently Dumped & Dumpers

(66:43–71:44)

• If You Did the Dumping:
  Don’t feel guilty—you’ve allowed both of you to seek genuine happiness. “Breaking up with someone, especially if you have people-pleasing tendencies…is so, so hard to let go of someone you love.” (Alex, 66:43)
• If You’ve Been Dumped:
  The pain is real and heavy, but “in a couple fucking months, you will be back…you will find a new person and you will be thanking yourself for having the strength to actually get out.” (Alex, 68:10)
  Lauren:

  “Three months post breakup…the most common thing people were looking at me and saying was, ‘I have never seen you look lighter, freer, or happier.’” (Lauren, 70:58)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “No one cares as much as you think they do…a decision on your relationship only actually affects your life.”
  – Alex (07:08)
• “Getting dumped set me on a complete new path that changed my life for the better.”
  – Alex (14:46)
• “If you're the one breaking up…don’t give false hope. That is you being selfish.”
  – Alex (28:35)
• “After a breakup, you have to switch up more than one thing from your routine.”
  – Alex (62:53)
• “Every person that you date gets you one step closer to the person you're supposed to marry if you do it right.”
  – Lauren (71:23)

Final Words

Alex and Lauren close with a reminder that heartbreak is universal, but also transitory. Navigating the hard stuff builds resilience and ultimately leads you to better places—whether that means starting a new business, meeting your true love, or, as for Alex, launching a podcast phenomenon.

• “Be nice to yourself and gentle with yourself…any hiccups or whatever—the main thing is, you’re gonna be okay.”
  – Alex (71:44)

For anyone mid-breakup, this episode feels like a warm, if slightly unfiltered, hug—full of empathy, practical wisdom, and some well-needed tough love. As Alex says: “Maybe you’re about to start a Fortune 500 company. Boom, bitch. Let’s fucking go.” (72:59)