Dove Cameron (51:38)
That is a very good question and a very complicated answer. My dad and I, so my parents had split, but not, not, not for very long before we moved to la and we, my mom lived in like the tiniest apartment on Bainbridge and my dad still lived in our family home. And I wanted to go live with my mom in the new apartment because it was like really close to the ferry boat. And if I'm being honest, I could sneak out of the house and go see my friends. Like, I was like, sliding screen door. It was, it was in like our little, like, town area, you know, So I was staying there a lot. And I think probably retroactively, like, my dad felt like I was taking my mom's side. But then my sister kind of came home from college because she was like, I don't love this college. I want to be home. And there was a day where I was in my room at the family home asleep, and I was 13, 12, 13, like right before I moved to LA. And my dad wanted me and my sister to like, come eat breakfast in bed and listen to the radio or watch a movie or something, which, like, we were a very cuddly household. Like, it was very, like, come down in your PJs and be half asleep. And like, I made eggs kind of thing. And he was like, chloe, come down. And I was like, no, I'm sleeping. You know, whatever 12 year old answer you give. And he was like, you can be sleepy, just like come down and be sleepy down here because you're never here. So, like, come be with us. And I was like, okay. And I came downstairs and I got in the huge bed and I went to sleep and I got woken up because he had thrown me out of the bed and he was starting on some monologue about, like, you're so ungrateful, you, you don't even want to be here. You are trying everything you can to get away from me. Like, get out, get out of the house. And I think that was a really important moment for me because I had finally had it confirmed for me that I was not the thing that was making my dad upset. Because when I was younger I really, really blamed myself for any time my dad would get upset, it was my fault. That's what you naturally think as a kid. And in this situation I was asleep, right? I don't think I've ever told this story actually. I don't know, I can't remember, but it sounds like nothing. But for me it was a really big deal because I was woken up literally by hitting the floor and hearing all these things. And so my brain was able to like through adrenaline process, like I couldn't have done anything to cause this because I was asleep. He told me I could come down and be asleep. This is all happening in his brain. And so I, rather than leaving, I went upstairs to my room. I packed a little stupid bag of like any suitcase that I had and I was like, whatever 12 year old language I had that was the equivalent of like, like actually you. And I went downstairs and I called my mom on my like 20 flip phone that I had because I went to theater camp and I had to like be, I had to call them. I didn't have, you know, but I called her and I was out sitting on my suitcase and my dad came out and was like, wait, no, sorry, sorry. And I was like, no, absolutely not. Like, I'm cool on this, I'm good on this. I'm not going to be talked to you like that. I, I think I remember saying something to him that like I wish I didn't say but was like, you know, like we're blood, we're family. But like I didn't choose to love you and like I choose to separate from you because this is not healthy for me. You don't do it to mom, you don't do it to Claire and clearly I'm not doing anything to cause it. So like I'm not going to be your outlet. And so I went to go live with my mom and then when we finally, I finally convinced her to move to LA, like the crazy, you know, 12, 13 that I was, I was like, you're not gonna start over again. Like you just got divorced. Like, you know, there's so many more job opportunities and I love making shit up, right? I was like, please, you know, we said goodbye, we were like, we're just gonna do this for six months and then we're gonna come back. Like my dad was super concerned about, he was like, I'm really scared Hollywood's gonna chew you up and spit you out. Like whatever idiom he Used. And I was like, no, dad, I'm gonna be fine. And then I started booking things and my dad came out to LA to visit because he had some like a trade show to do because they were wholesalers. And so he brought like all of his stuff out and he stayed on our floor because again, not really making any money and he stayed on like a blow up mattress. And I remember, I think I have spoken about this, but it came out to be like, snuggle him and say goodnight and he rolled over and turned his back and was like, goodnight, Chloe, I think you should go to bed. And I was like, something bad's going on there. But like, I genuinely, I thought it was my fault. Like I genuinely just thought I had upset him by moving to la. Like I didn't know what was happening or that he was like purposefully distancing himself in that way. So I went to bed and I tried my very best to like spend extra time with him and like, lots of hugs, lots of kisses, lots of like, you okay? Like kind of stuff. And. And then he went back to Washington and it couldn't have been that many months after that that we got the call that he had. Yeah. Taken his life. Yeah. So it was a bit of a, like a blurry, weird time to say the least.
