Call Her Daddy – "How to Love Being Alone"

Host: Alex Cooper
Date: September 7, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Alex Cooper dives deep into the realities—and rewards—of being alone. Through personal stories, a poignant essay reading, and candid advice, Alex reflects on why learning to enjoy your own company is both challenging and transformative. She also answers listener questions about relationships, workplace struggles, and friendship drama, all through the lens of self-respect and personal growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Art of Loving Your Own Company

[04:55 – 14:30]

• Alex reads and dissects a Substack essay, The Art of Enjoying Your Own Company, by Hassef.
  • The essay explores how happiness is often perceived as a shared experience, making solitude seem like a punishment.
  • The real message: “Alone doesn’t always mean missing. Sometimes it means returning. Returning to yourself.”
    — Hassef, read by Alex, [05:44]
  • Key insight: The transition from discomfort to fulfillment in solitude is a journey—starting with detoxing from people-pleasing and social validation.

Detoxing From “Needing to Be Needed”

• Alex shares her own waves of comfort and discomfort with being alone, tying it to social media addiction and urgency for validation.
• She emphasizes the difficulty and awkwardness of being alone, especially in a hyper-connected, always-on culture.
  • “No one really talks about how uncomfortable it can really be in the beginning to lean into enjoying time alone.”
    — Alex, [07:10]
• Social media often becomes a stand-in for real self-reflection, fostering a cycle of comparison and anxiety.

Building the Foundation for Healthy Aloneness

[18:09 – 27:13]

• Alex urges listeners—especially young women—to live alone at least once if life circumstances allow.
  • Personal anecdote: Moving to NYC post-college, feeling excited at first but hitting loneliness after the novelty wore off.
  • Gradually, Alex learned to look forward to her “dates” with herself: self-care nights, journaling, and enjoying her space just for her own sake.
• Being forced to navigate tough moments alone builds resilience and self-trust.
  • “The more you get your reps in having to rely on yourself—not in an unhealthy way, but in the sense of, ‘Oh, I love myself, I trust myself, I know myself’—that’s when you’re going to become the best version of yourself.”
    — Alex, [23:28]

Self-Validation Over External Validation

[12:00 – 14:30]

• Alex emphasizes the trap of external validation and how disconnection from ourselves increases when we’re always performing for others (e.g., social media).
  • “If you’re constantly looking for people’s commentary and their validation on it, you’re essentially stripping yourself of any autonomy over your life.”
    — Alex, [12:55]
• Learning to validate your own choices and feelings is a milestone in self-confidence and autonomy.

Listener Questions & Unfiltered Advice (Q&A)

[27:14 – 61:34]

1. Dating Exclusivity Concerns ([27:17])

• Listener: Wants advice after feeling hurt learning a new Hinge guy is still seeing others.
• Alex:
  • Validates her feelings but says it’s “crazy” to expect exclusivity after only 10 days.
  • Praises the man’s honesty: “I have dated so many fucking men that they would never be honest…” [28:39]
  • Encourages honest communication without rushing things or demanding too much too soon.

2. Toxic Work Environment ([30:09])

• Listener: Young nurse being undermined by her manager.
• Alex:
  • Validates the nerves around confrontation and the reality of power dynamics.
  • Recommends:
    1. Write down all negative incidents.
    2. Build allies amongst co-workers.
    3. Have a respectful, direct conversation with the boss and always follow up in writing.
  • “You’ve got to advocate for yourself. The more that this continues, your mental health will deteriorate.” [38:37]

3. Setting Boundaries with Clingy Parent ([41:56])

• Listener: Overwhelmed by her recently retired mom’s constant texts/calls.
• Alex:
  • Shares her own story with her mother and how difficult this transition can be for both parent and child.
  • Advises a loving, honest conversation to reset dynamic and schedule quality time.
  • “We went through a lot of changes … And now we have this whole rule where we’re like, never will we get back to that place. We’re just going to always talk it through.” [48:50]

4. Friendship Triangle & Exclusion ([49:57])

• Listener: Hurt her two friends planned a trip without her.
• Alex:
  • Acknowledges that “friend groups of three are tough.”
  • Recommends a direct but non-accusatory conversation asking if there was a reason for the exclusion, while also self-reflecting for any personal role in the dynamic.
  • “Have the conversation, get in there. If they’re rude, I think you have to reconsider the friendships.” [54:09]

5. Cheating Boyfriend Liking Ex’s Photos ([56:28])

• Listener: Boyfriend previously solicited nudes from his ex; now caught liking her Instagram posts.
• Alex:
  • Blunt advice: BREAK UP.
  • “This man is taking a massive giant dump on your face and you keep just wiping it off and being like, it’s all right, we’ll get through this. … He has none [respect] for you. So the only person that’s gonna respect you in this dynamic is yourself.” [57:30]
  • Wraps up the lessons in full-circle fashion: learning to be alone is particularly relevant here.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On solitude:
  “Enjoying your own company is not a chapter, it’s a foundation. It’s the garden you built so that when love arrives, it feels like sunlight, not oxygen.”
  — Alex reading Hassef, [06:40]

• On the uncomfortable first stage of aloneness:
  “The first stage of being alone is never joy. It’s detox.”
  — Alex reading Hassef, [06:56]

• On breaking social media habits:
  “Put the phone down, Alex, and read a goddamn book.” [14:29]

• Ultimate takeaway:
  “You are enough for yourself. … Being alone is not a feeling that’s going to be quick and fun. This is for the rest of your life. People go through heartbreak. People lose people. The one constant is ourselves. So you better be really fucking comfortable with yourself.”
  — Alex, [25:55]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:55] – Personal reflections and essay on loving being alone
• [07:10] – The discomfort and social taboo around solitude
• [12:10] – Social media, validation, and autodissociation
• [18:09] – Why everyone should try living alone (if possible)
• [23:28] – Strength—and selectivity—built in solitude
• [27:14] – Listener Q&A: relationships, toxic bosses, needy parents, friend drama, cheating
• [57:30] – Blunt advice on self-respect and ending unhealthy relationships

Tone & Language

Alex keeps her signature bold, candid, often explicit tone—balancing tough love, vulnerability, and humor, such as:

• “You’re getting brainwashed by men. Likes mean—I like your —I want to get in and around that.” [57:05]
• “Your time is all that fucking matters in this life. How are you investing your time? Stop wasting it on bullshit.” [25:05]

Episode Takeaway

Alex’s message is sharply clear: the art of being alone is the foundation of happiness—not a sad fallback, but a strength. Whether through heartbreak, adulthood transitions, family, or friendship drama, the best investment you can make is in your relationship with yourself.