Call Her Daddy – John Mayer (FBF)

Date: December 24, 2025
Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: John Mayer

Episode Overview

This holiday special of Call Her Daddy features an honest, wide-ranging conversation between host Alex Cooper and Grammy-winning musician John Mayer. Known for his soulful songwriting and complicated public image, Mayer discusses his formative years, anxieties, growth, relationships, and the misconceptions surrounding his persona. The episode culminates with an intimate, live performance of some of his biggest hits, offering listeners a rare glimpse into both his artistry and vulnerability.

Main Topics and Key Discussion Points

1. How the Episode Came to Be and First Impressions

• Networking and authenticity: The interview was initiated after a dinner with Alex, John, and Cassie David (02:11). John emphasizes the importance of doing something "out of character" each December, leading to his appearance on the podcast (02:26).
• John’s confidence: Alex notes John’s composure and confidence, leading to a discussion about self-assuredness and its evolution through life (03:16–04:31).

2. John Mayer’s High School Years and Early Ambitions

• Feeling out of place: John describes being invisible in high school, fixated solely on music. "My life began at 3:00... when I came home and played guitar." (04:48)
• Coping with discouragement: He discusses the struggle of pushing against naysayers and the impact on his psyche (03:30–04:31).
• Performing at graduation: Mayer reveals he played at his high school graduation, yet didn’t actually graduate then due to missing credits (08:05). The juxtaposition of soon after becoming a Grammy-winning artist is not lost on him (08:34–09:13).

3. Songwriting, Nostalgia, and Misconceptions

• Origins of "Your Body is a Wonderland": Contrary to rumors, Mayer says the song was "about the feeling" associated with his first girlfriend, not about a celebrity (09:56–10:13).
• On songwriting: "I don't write songs about people... Even if I was writing a song because of someone, that goes away and I'm left with the song." (10:34–11:32)
• Evolving purpose: Mayer reflects on the transition from proving himself to recognizing music’s deeper meaning for listeners (11:54–13:25).

4. The Rise to Fame and Personal Growth

• Being labeled ‘womanizer’: Mayer candidly addresses his reputation: "That's the role I play on the big TV show that I didn't write." (16:25)
• Women’s approval and insecurity: Discussion of childhood influences and insecurity, and how validation from women affected him (16:25–18:56).
• Relationship reflections: He values the growth from past relationships and conducting "the accounting" on his own behavior (33:23–34:33).

5. Anxiety and Creativity

• Experiencing anxiety before it was normalized: Mayer describes the isolating experience of anxiety in the pre-social media era—and how it fueled his songwriting (27:12–29:15).
• On anxiety as creative fuel: "When I would have an anxious moment, I'd be like, well, here comes a song." (28:37)
• Dating with anxiety: He shares a vulnerable story of having to leave a date due to anxiety in high school (30:45–31:53).

6. Fame, Misunderstandings, and Retreat

• Managing public perception: Mayer discusses the exhaustion of being misunderstood and the futility of trying to correct every misperception: "You're trying to eat the monster that's trying to eat you." (36:45–37:32)
• Learning to retreat: "Retreat is an option. I don’t know where this idea of stubborn fight to the death stuff came from—you’ll lose everything." (37:32–39:08)
• Advice on social media and peace: Both agree that retreating from the noise brings peace and authenticity (39:38–40:43).

7. Love, Dating, and Maturity

• Have you ever been in love? "Yes." (45:05)
• No longer drinking: Mayer has been sober for six years, changing the way he approaches dating—more honest and vulnerability-driven (46:57–47:53).
• On relationships: "Every relationship I've been in was devoted to the idea that this could go the distance." (33:23)
• Long-term connection: He admires couples who resolve conflicts and haven’t considered breaking up: "Nothing's hotter to me than conflict resolution. I am horny for conflict resolution." (50:24–50:30)

8. The Creative Process and Independence

• Releasing music independently: Questions whether to release a full album or singles (51:01–51:46).
• Studio habits: Describes a standard self-disciplined workday in the studio: "I go to a recording studio every day, 9 to 5. I have a job. Without it, I would fall apart." (53:49–53:57)
• Songwriting approach: "You write a whole song and you'll go, oh, I only needed that one verse, which is actually the chorus to this thing..." (53:09–53:46)

9. Performing Live: The Reality vs. the Myth

• The true feeling of performing: Unlike many performers, Mayer does not "feed off the energy of the crowd": "I don't feed off the energy of the crowd. It is not a drug to me." (55:12–57:09)
• Desire to please: Even while performing, he’s constantly wondering if the audience is enjoying it (55:12–57:09).

10. Special Live Performance and Song Stories (Musical Segment)

• “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room” – [62:09]: Mayer plays a raw, acoustic version with vocal emotion.
• “Why Georgia” ([65:42]), “Who Says” ([66:03]), and “Daughters” ([68:08]): He provides background stories for songs, highlighting creative inspiration, often occurring while naked or in liminal moments.
• Songwriting insights: Mayer explains the true meaning behind "Daughters," which was less about parental advice and more about frustration when love is stymied by someone's upbringing (70:22).
• “Dreaming with a Broken Heart” ([72:18]): On this piano-based song, Mayer shares how dreams and longing can inspire music.

11. Vulnerability and Humor

• On post-coital songwriting: "You should never play guitar to have sex with someone. But a little naked guitar playing after is very memorable." (66:30)
• Body image candor: Playfully remarks on everyone looking “weird” when sitting up naked; finds it cute and humanizing (67:00–67:07).
• Joining the 'Daddy Gang': John jokes about joining the community and thanks Alex for making him feel comfortable (77:17).

12. Closing & Holiday Spirit

• Personal growth and self-acceptance: John stresses the value of learning from mistakes, not viewing them as regrets but necessary phases of growth (40:19).
• New Year’s Resolution: Doing more things out of character and embracing the unknown (57:22–57:50).
• Ends with “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” ([77:41]), adding a warm, festive close.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On high school alienation:
  "My life began at 3:00... when I came home and played guitar." — John Mayer (04:48)

• On rapid career ascent:
  "Chronologically speaking, this part is maybe one of the only aspects of my life that truly blows my mind." — John Mayer (08:42)

• On the meaning of his songs:
  "I don't write songs about people. ... I might use a relationship that inspires me to write something, but even that goes away and I'm left with the song." — John Mayer (10:34)

• On being misunderstood:
  "You're trying to eat the monster that's trying to eat you. ... We haven't learned that retreat is an option. Retreat is an option." — John Mayer (36:45, 37:32)

• On relationships:
  "Nothing's hotter to me than conflict resolution. I am horny for conflict resolution." — John Mayer (50:30)

• On anxiety fueling creativity:
  "When I would have an anxious moment, I'd be like, well, here comes a song." — John Mayer (28:37)

• On fame and public opinion:
  "I only need to meet one more person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. So I do not need to have this worldwide consensus that I'm an okay guy." — John Mayer (32:44)

• On being a famous man:
  "Being a famous guy is like being a hot girl." — John Mayer (32:09)

• On life perspective:
  "Your reality is stronger than their ability to distort it." — John Mayer (38:11)

• On artistic process:
  "You write a whole song and you'll go, oh, I only needed that one verse, which is actually the chorus to this thing." — John Mayer (53:09)

Key Timestamps

• 02:10 – How Alex got John on the show (Dinner, December, pitching)
• 04:48 – John’s high school experience of invisibility and early confidence
• 09:56 – The real inspiration behind “Your Body is a Wonderland”
• 11:32 – Why Mayer doesn’t reveal who songs are about
• 16:25 – Addressing reputation as a womanizer
• 18:30 – Childhood insecurity and its effect on relationships
• 27:12 – Mayer describes living with anxiety pre-social media
• 28:37 – Anxiety as a source for songwriting
• 30:45 – The nervous first date story
• 36:45–39:08 – On public misunderstanding and learning to retreat
• 45:05 – On being in love; relationship reflections
• 46:57 – Dating sober; expressing vulnerability and anxieties
• 50:24 – Admitting turn-on for conflict resolution
• 53:49 – Mayer’s disciplined studio routine
• 55:12–57:09 – The reality of performing and striving to please the audience
• 62:09 – Live performance: “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room”
• 65:42–75:25 – Unplugged set: “Why Georgia,” “Who Says,” “Daughters,” and “Dreaming with a Broken Heart”
• 77:41 – John closes with “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

Final Thoughts

This episode blends emotional candor with levity, demystifying John Mayer’s public image while showcasing his reflective, introspective side. Mayer and Cooper make the conversation relatable regardless of fame, addressing struggles with self-image, anxiety, relationship difficulty, and the ongoing challenges of authenticity both in life and online. The intimate musical performances deliver an added bonus, making the episode a holiday treat for listeners.

“Thank you for being kind to me, good to me, and making me feel comfortable. I’m now a fan of the show.” — John Mayer (77:17)

For fans and newcomers alike, this episode delivers both depth and entertainment, offering original insights, notable quotables, and unforgettable musical moments.