Call Her Daddy — Lucy Hale: Sober Doesn't Mean Boring (FBF)

Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Lucy Hale
Episode Date: October 10, 2025

Overview

In this candid and heartfelt episode of Call Her Daddy, Alex Cooper sits down with actress Lucy Hale for a vulnerable conversation about personal transformation, struggles with addiction, people-pleasing, disordered eating, and finding self-worth outside of fame. Lucy shares her journey to sobriety, the realities of Hollywood, and what it truly means to be “sober, not boring.” The episode offers deep insights into healing, the challenges of female friendship, and redefining life on your own terms—with rawness, humor, and hope.

Early Life & Feeling Misunderstood

[03:07 – 07:15]

• Background: Lucy grew up in Memphis, Tennessee, then moved to LA at 15 with her mom, leaving her dad in Mississippi. Her upbringing was simple—dad’s a farmer, mom’s a nurse—but emotionally complex.
• Sensitive & Introverted: Lucy describes her childhood as sensitive and emotional, feeling “misunderstood,” often like an “alien” among others.
  • Lucy: “I felt like an alien amongst my friends. I felt like an alien in my family sometimes.” [04:35]
  • Lucy: “I think in this life, like, I have myself. And we’re gonna have to get through it by myself.” [04:48]
• Art as Escape: Her desire to perform was fueled by a need to channel feelings and escape herself, admitting she sometimes didn’t like who she was.
• Industry Pressures: Being an actor exacerbated her lack of identity, blending who she was with her TV character, and struggling with others’ projections versus her reality.

Family Dynamics & People-Pleasing

[08:49 – 11:26]

• Divorce Young: Lucy’s parents divorced when she was 4, a memory that’s vivid and formative.
  • Lucy: “I just wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted mom to be happy. I wanted my dad to be protected. I’ve always been, like, fiercely protective of my dad.” [09:33]
• People-Pleasing Roots: From a young age, she became a “peacemaker,” believing that if she kept the peace, perhaps everything would be okay.
• Undoing People-Pleasing: Lucy shares her ongoing process of “undoing being a people pleaser”—learning to set boundaries without feeling she’s abandoning herself.

Chasing Difference & Early Drive

[12:02 – 13:20]

• Ambition: Lucy recalls a defining childhood moment fantasizing about escaping small-town life and “doing some things,” inspired by songs like Kelly Clarkson’s “Breakaway.”
  • Lucy: “My life will be different. My life is going to be different. I don’t belong here.” [12:12]
• No Guilt in Moving to LA: At 15, her mom tapped her retirement fund to move them to LA; Lucy “felt zero guilt, but only because I knew it was gonna work out.” [13:31]

The Hidden Costs of Success

[14:14 – 16:59]

• Sacrifice Behind the Scenes: While she recognizes the blessings of early success, Lucy confesses she mostly remembers the pain and pressure of her teen years in Hollywood:
  • Lucy: “I think it’s okay to hold space for how amazing it was, but also to know that, like, that was very painful and challenging for me...” [14:14]
• The Pressure to Perform: Both Alex and Lucy discuss how actors are often expected to embody their characters all the time—and how the public’s idealization intensifies their private struggles.

Disordered Eating & Struggles With Self

[16:59 – 21:14]

• Eating Disorders: Lucy reveals her “heavily” disordered eating began before fame and was exacerbated by her TV role, describing unhealthy cycles and the false “control” it seemed to offer.
  • Lucy: “I was not healthy and in it, you know, and it makes me sad almost, because obviously no one else knew that I wasn’t healthy.” [16:59]
• Comparison & Competition: Being surrounded by beautiful co-stars brought out intense insecurities. She admits the cast wasn’t always close, and feeling like the “misunderstood” outsider shadowed her time on set.

Filling the Void, Drinking to Cope

[25:20 – 28:03, 34:43 – 47:35]

• Alcohol as Escape: Lucy used alcohol (and later, other behaviors) to be the person she thought she should be—fun, sexy, confident.
  • Lucy: “I could be fun. I could be sexy, I could be hysterical. I could be a bitch. I could be whatever I wanted to be and my brain shut off.” [25:25]
• First Experiences: First drank at 12, blacked out at 12, and blew past “drinking normally” as a teen and young adult.
• Rehab & Relapse: Lucy went to rehab at 23 (few in her professional life knew) but wasn’t ready to quit for years; attempts at sobriety were followed by cycles of relapse.
  • Lucy: “I don’t know how I would have gotten sober in my twenties in LA. On a. Being successful… It’s so fucking hard.” [33:56]

Addiction, Shame, & Breaking the Cycle

[34:43 – 47:58]

• The Secret Struggle: Lucy hid her drinking from colleagues, only bingeing on off-days, but those close to her were aware (“My friends, my family, my suite manager”).
  • Lucy: “You think you’re being so secretive… I know, I know. And like in a non-judgy way, I’m just like, oh, I think they’re struggling, you know, and isn’t that so interesting?” [36:38]
• Beneath the Party Girl: The root of partying was “pain,” not fun—as Lucy highlights, “Anyone who behaves that way… it’s clearly coming from a place of pain.” [38:16]
• Sober ≠ Boring:
  • Lucy: “I remember vividly hearing someone… say, God, sober people are so boring. And I was like… Am I boring? … I am not boring. I find some of the most interesting, complex, beautiful human beings that I know struggle in this way… Your sensitivity… is your gift.” [39:30 & 40:31]

Sex, Shame & Alcohol

[49:25 – 57:57]

• Using Alcohol for Sex & Validation: Lucy and Alex both share stories about using alcohol to enable sexual situations they otherwise wouldn’t choose or to feel “sexier”—and the shame and confusion it creates.
  • Lucy: “A lot of my… relationships… the people I had slept with, I was always fucked up.” [50:32]
  • Lucy: “I know for certain I’ve potentially— I don’t even know if I want to say that I— I actually— No, I maybe have been taken advantage of… There are certain things I don’t quite remember.” [51:04]
• Learning to Be Present Sober: Being sexual and dating while sober is “a whole new thing I had to learn.” Lucy describes relearning what healthy intimacy looks and feels like—choosing celibacy at times and understanding “not everyone deserves to touch your body.” [57:44]

Relationships, Dating, & Growth

[58:48 – 87:38]

• Impact on Relationships: Most partners noticed her drinking, some challenged it, some enabled it.
  • Lucy: “My first boyfriend ever… told me I had a drinking problem… My next boyfriend after that… was like, this is worrisome. I’m like, I’m breaking up with you. Me problems. You’re the problem!” [60:29 – 60:58]
• Toxic Love: Her most passionate relationship was also the most toxic—sharing addiction, chaos, day drinking, and drugs, but also undeniable attraction.
• Family Patterns: There’s alcoholism in her family, though not everyone (e.g., her sister) shares this struggle.
• Reintegration After Rehab: Lucy humorously recalls leaving rehab only to immediately cater to a love interest who wanted to buy Jack Daniels; she relapsed three months later. [67:16]
• Friends & Boundaries: Part of sobriety has meant losing some friends and learning to set “boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.” [76:28]
• Dating Sober: Lucy is clear about not settling: “We’re not settling anymore. We’re not settling.” [84:05]
• What She Values: Quick wit, self-awareness, humor, depth, and creativity in a partner are more important than appearances: “Awareness is the— like, I will drop my panties for that immediately. Like a self-aware king.” [86:28]

Hitting Rock Bottom & The Road to Recovery

[69:02 – 74:23]

• Final Straw: A New Year’s trip in Austin, TX, marked Lucy’s breaking point—realizing she’d lost a whole day to blackout drinking.
  • Lucy: “I remember asking my friend, I was like, what are we doing tonight for New Year’s Eve? And he was like, it’s the first. And I was like, what do you mean?” [69:12]
• Choosing Sobriety: Lucy credits a “spiritual intervention”—the feeling that she was “out of chances”—and a bout with Covid for forcing her into early sobriety.
  • Lucy: “It was like a spiritual intervention. Like, I literally felt the presence of God, like, actually telling me, you don’t have another chance.” [45:44]
• Ongoing Process: Sobriety is “the best thing I’ve ever done for myself,” but is “deeply uncomfortable and deeply painful.” [47:35 & 47:58]

Healing, Self-Discovery & Simplicity

[74:23 – 81:46]

• Healing Isn’t Linear: Lucy emphasizes that recovery is personal, nonlinear, and not one-size-fits-all: “There’s so much advice out there… but the only person that’s gonna know what feels good in your body and your mind is yourself.” [74:48]
• Letting Go of Old Coping: She’s now gently unpacking other avoidance mechanisms, from exercise to Amazon shopping.
• Finding Purpose: Spirituality and a focus on simplicity—small joys, close friendships, time with her dogs—keep her grounded:
  • Lucy: “My life is very simple. I just want to simplify my life… My circle is small. I spend a lot of time with my dogs.” [80:05]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lucy: “How can other people understand you if you have no fucking idea who you are?” [06:22]
• Lucy: “Sober people are not boring. I find some of the most interesting, complex, beautiful human beings that I know struggle in this way.” [40:31]
• Lucy: “No one else is going to save me. And I can’t keep blaming other people for my own. It doesn’t mean people can’t help me. But ultimately, all you have is yourself.” [73:11]
• Lucy: “Not everyone deserves to touch your body.” [57:45]
• Lucy: “You have to fight and advocate for yourself.” [73:26]
• Lucy on being uniquely herself: “There are no two fingerprints ever in the history of ever that are alike… There is only one you. There is only ever supposed to be one of you. And that is so fucking cool to me.” [91:55]

Takeaways & Final Thoughts

• Being Sober is Not Boring: Lucy and Alex bust the myth that sobriety equals dullness. In reality, sobriety can lead to a deeper, more interesting life.
• You Are Not Alone: Both women emphasize that feeling misunderstood, struggling with addiction, or facing shame is extremely common—but doesn’t have to be endured in isolation.
• Healing is Messy, but Possible: Transformation is ongoing; self-compassion, accountability, and connection are key.
• It’s Okay to Change: Deep shifts are required to break old patterns, whether with alcohol, relationships, or self-image—and no one should feel ashamed of seeking help.

Important Timestamps

• Intro and Lucy’s Childhood: [03:07]
• Feeling like an Outsider/Drive for Performance: [04:28 – 07:15]
• People-Pleasing and Divorce: [08:53 – 10:36]
• Moving to LA/Family Sacrifice: [13:31 – 14:14]
• Hollywood Pressures/Eating Disorders: [16:59 – 21:14]
• Alcohol/First Experiences/Addiction: [30:41 – 34:43]
• Addiction Cycle, Hiding, and Shame: [36:06 – 47:58]
• Sex, Shame, and Alcohol: [49:25 – 57:57]
• Relationships, Family Patterns, Rehab: [58:48 – 69:02]
• Rock Bottom & Spiritual Awakening: [69:02 – 74:23]
• Recovery, Simplicity, Healing: [74:23 – 81:46]
• Dating, Self-Worth, and Not Settling: [82:01 – 89:25]
• Final Reflections/Meaning of Uniqueness: [91:55]

“Just know that there’s nothing to be afraid of. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. And you’re just… you’re not alone.”
– Lucy Hale [90:41]

This episode delivers a profound blend of honesty, relatability, and hope—a must-listen for anyone seeking authenticity, comfort, or inspiration on the journey to being enough, just as you are.