Call Her Daddy — "Michelle Obama: We Still Go High"

Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Michelle Obama
Release Date: January 21, 2026

Episode Overview

In this deeply engaging and candid episode, Alex Cooper sits down with Michelle Obama to discuss her new book The Light (nicknamed "The Look"), about far more than fashion: it's a meditation on the scrutiny faced by women, the power of self-determination, and how women can survive and thrive in a world that constantly judges and challenges them. Together, they tackle objectification, social media’s impact on women, the realities of maintaining confidence, and the evolving definition of success and fulfillment for modern women. The conversation is alternately hilarious, vulnerable, and galvanizing—a must-listen for listeners seeking both wisdom and practical advice.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Michelle's Current Mindset & Style

• Michelle shared she's feeling "whole" but acknowledged the world feels "a little nutty" (01:37).
• Describes her outfit as a modern update of a favorite Princeton look, designed by Meredith Coupe (01:59).
• Candidly discusses retiring her ski boots out of fear of injury—reflecting on the duality of loving something but knowing when to step back, especially as public scrutiny remains high (03:25).

2. Navigating Public Objectification as a Powerful Woman

• Michelle recalls how, even as First Lady, the focus was rarely on her education or initiatives, but rather on her "arms and hair" (11:38), highlighting a culture that attempts to "put women in their place by attacking their physical being."
• She grew “shocked” when articles led with her appearance, not substance, despite connecting with Americans on values (13:55).
• Quote:

  "The top of the article would be, she was wearing, you know, not my education, not my, you know, not my professional career. But it started with appearance, and it got worse as we got better."
  — Michelle Obama (14:10)

• Emphasizes her ability to compartmentalize: understanding the difference between media/politics and authentic, nuanced American attitudes (16:20).

3. Strategic Use of Style for Impact

• Michelle didn’t want to be reduced to her “dress and shoe and hair,” but realized she could lean into the fascination so long as she ensured substance was always present (18:38).
• Quote:

  “Let’s make sure that we have a plan and a strategy in place for how fashion, just like everything we did in the White House, would have meaning and impact.”
  — Michelle Obama (22:01)

• Opens up about the ongoing challenge: the work women do to "pick and choose your battles," balancing self-protection with self-expression, especially in male-dominated spaces (23:15–26:25).

4. Advice for Young Women Balancing Authenticity and Safety

• Advocates for prioritizing basic needs and safety first—sometimes that means “wear the dress” if that’s the leverage you need, but stay vigilant:

  "Make sure you can pay your rent ... don't make decisions so rashly when you don't have the leverage to keep yourself safe. ... But then you want to be very careful of who this person is that you're now working for." (23:15)

• Points out the immense, unseen labor women shoulder to meet expectations in professional and social environments compared to men (25:01).

5. Women’s Complicity, Internalized Misogyny, and Social Media

• Michelle addresses why it’s often more painful to be attacked by women online—that internalized pain turns outward (31:30):

  "When I think about women attacking women, it, it is always rooted in the insecurity and lack of self-esteem that is rampant in our culture."
  — Michelle Obama (31:37)

• Encourages self-examination and systemic solutions: access to confidence-boosting activities, after-school opportunities, and broader conversations about nurturing girls (34:33).
• Discusses the harmful illusion of perfection fed by social media and the competitive cloud it creates among women (41:51, 44:00).

6. The Value of Female Friendship & Rejecting Toxic Individualism

• Stresses that women must "cultivate friendships"—these relationships are as vital as education or careers (41:51).
• Suggests being proactive, honest, and inclusive with friends—take each other "up the mountain" together (41:21).
• Warns that tech and individualism can erode connection; urges listeners to put down their phones and invest in real-life experiences (45:09).

7. Aging, Self-Acceptance, and Reclaiming the Narrative

• Addresses the double-standard: men grow "wiser and esteemed," women are told "we just get old" (52:45).
• Revels in her 60s as her “best time of life” and calls for society to recognize the wisdom of older women (52:45–55:24).

  “There’s so much that older women know for sure ... I can tell you don’t feel bad that you failed because it wasn’t ever going to work. And there was only one way to learn that: you did it, and it’s okay.” (54:25)

• Advocates direct intergenerational conversation, asking younger women to seek wisdom from those who have been there (55:24).

8. Confidence, Imposter Syndrome & Juggling Multiple Roles

• Acknowledges the labor of being a “120 percenter,” but stresses you cannot do everything at once, and it's okay to let some things go (60:12):

  "What I've come to learn is that this whole. Can you have it all? Yes. Not at the same time." (60:12)

• Encourages self-forgiveness and resisting the myth of “having it all,” especially during formative periods like early career or motherhood (62:06–67:11).

9. Love, Independence & Societal Messaging

• Warns against prioritizing finding a partner over fulfillment within oneself (68:01):

  “Work on being as whole as you can be because you can’t control who’s going to love you … you can’t define yourself by other people’s stuff.” (76:02)

• Cautions against societal pressures asking women “are you dating anyone?”—these subtle cues shape women’s priorities from a young age (68:01–69:11).

10. Redefining Female Power, Leadership & “Going High”

• Discusses the strategic necessity of reading the room and sometimes “playing the game” to get the outcome needed, rather than being right or indulging anger (80:58–84:22).
• Revisits her phrase, "When they go low, we go high," clarifying it means acting strategically and purposefully, not from blind hurt or anger (97:04).

  “Going high means that we are working strategically toward that goal with a plan and some objectives. And it's not purely emotional. ... Going high to me is: feel the feelings, but where are you trying to go with them, and let that lead.” (97:09)

11. Politics, Female Presidency, & Embracing Progress

• Addresses her comment about America not yet being “ready” for a female president—insists we must examine what holds us back and keep pushing anyway (101:50–106:38):

  "We've had two really qualified female candidates ... if they're not perfect and they don't cross every T and dot every I, there's a falling shortness ... Let's figure out what's going on." (104:39)

• Firmly reiterates she will not run for office and that it’s vital to create room for new voices and ideas (108:16–110:34).

12. Hope, Healing Division, and the Path Forward

• Encourages listeners to keep faith in long-term progress, noting the “arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice” (111:08).
• Shares optimism for America’s essential goodness, having witnessed solidarity at all levels of society (113:06):

  “But rarely am I disappointed as a whole with who we are as a people ... Most people don't want that much. ... With the right leadership, we're right there." (113:06)

• Urges everyone, especially young people, to step into their power, have hard conversations, and build the inclusive future previous generations couldn’t fully realize (120:39, 121:46, 122:02).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On public scrutiny:

  “It was all about how we look. And the more you pay attention to that, you see it not just happen to me, but ... other female candidates, wives ... celebrities ... other people in the public eye.”
  (16:20)

• On female friendships:

  “The value of cultivating friendships is important. It’s as important as the degree that you got in college.”
  (41:51)

• On the myth of perfection:

  “What I want to tell people, young women, is get off the phone. I really do. It’s like it’s a habit. It’s not a need. ... you’ve got to get off the phone and start investing in your, in real life stuff and experiences.”
  (45:09)

• On women’s confidence:

  “What I've come to learn is that this whole ... Can you have it all? Yes. Not at the same time.”
  (60:12)

• On playing the game:

  “If I'm delivering something in a way that makes the message fall short on some ears, then I'm going to change it because I want people to get the message. It doesn't matter how I feel.”
  (84:22)

• On hope for the future:

  “If you could pick any time in human history to be alive ... Would you pick any other time to be alive than right now? I know I wouldn’t.”
  (113:06)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Michelle’s attitude about life & her outfit — 01:37–02:31
• Retiring from skiing & being competitive — 02:41–05:55
• Objectification in politics and media — 10:41–17:55
• Using fashion as strategy, not distraction — 18:38–22:06
• Advice about compromising in professional settings — 23:15–26:25
• Dynamics of women criticizing other women; healing from mean girl culture — 31:30–34:33
• Social media’s impact on women, friendship, and perfection — 41:51–48:53
• Wisdom, aging, and embracing new seasons — 52:45–57:19
• Imposter syndrome, juggling roles, and letting go of “120%” — 58:00–67:11
• Fulfillment, societal messages, and love — 68:01–76:00
• Self-work, therapy, and building confidence — 76:00–79:24
• Women’s anger, playing the game, "going high" — 80:06–84:22, 97:04–101:19
• Barriers to a female presidency — 101:19–106:38
• On power, setting culture as female leaders — 85:30–87:35
• On men as allies — 88:23–92:56
• Message of hope & call to action for young women — 110:42–120:39
• Alex reflects, Michelle passes the baton to the next generation — 121:46–123:43

Conclusion: Passing the Baton

Michelle closes by affirming Alex’s evolution and responsibility as a new kind of leader in conversation—passing her the metaphorical baton. She urges young listeners to be kind, to persist, to seek real connections, and, when in positions of power, to remake culture rather than perpetuate old inequities (122:02–124:22). The episode is equal parts rallying cry and gentle encouragement—a reminder that going high is not just an ideal, but an actionable, strategic path forward.

For those who missed the episode:

Expect a wide-ranging, honest, and accessible conversation. Michelle Obama leaves listeners not just with wisdom, but with practical strategies for resilience, self-acceptance, and active participation in changing the culture for the better.