B (2:42)

Thank you.

A (2:42)

I'm flattered for my problematic listeners. You know who you are. If you've never watched the oc, you have to watch it to give them, like, a little background. It's basically these rich kids living in Orange County, California. Yeah. Drugs, sex, relationships, family drama, all the things. And you're doing a rewatch podcast.

B (3:03)

Yes, yes.

A (3:04)

Which is amazing.

B (3:04)

Oh, thanks.

A (3:05)

What is it like going back to relive the OC phenomenon?

B (3:09)

Oh, my God. So it's so interesting. I was 21 when I did the show, and it was my first real big job watching it back. Honestly, the first few episodes, I had such an emotional reaction. I got, like, depressed. I was like, oh, my God. Because it's like 20 years later, basically, right? And I'm like, so much life has happened. What did I do? What did I do?

A (3:33)

Like, when. When you say, what did I do? Like, do you mean, like, in terms of, like, the show or just, like.

B (3:37)

No, just life.

A (3:38)

Just life.

B (3:39)

Yeah.

A (3:39)

You're just like.

B (3:40)

It's just more like you're basically playing back the last 20 years. Ish of your life, and you're like. It's all just going through your mind as I'm watching this, because I'm, like, looking at this, like, little, like, pudgy face, like, 21 year old, with, like, a lot of bronzer on and, like, questionable clothing, which is coming back, which is also very confusing. But, like, I'm watching it just going like, oh, shit, you know, and my boyfriend at the time was on the show with me. And so it brings up all that about life behind the scenes when you're

A (4:07)

that young and you're on a show and you're dating someone on the show and you're like the it girl on the show, and everyone's obsessed with you. But then you're saying, like, I'm looking back and, like, that was still me as a young woman, like, and I'm watching back. So there's, like, emotions for you. And then.

B (4:23)

For sure.

A (4:23)

Yeah. And then everyone still wants to talk about it all the time to you. Which. How does that feel?

B (4:27)

Well, you know what? I will say I wasn't like, Misha Barton was obviously like, the it girl, and she was 16 years old. And I can't even imagine what that would have been like to be 16 with that kind of attention in every magazine cover. Like, I still had a lot of anonymity in, like, my own life. And my boyfriend, and we were very domesticated and kind of like grandparents at the Time. Like, we were like old people. Like, newspaper in the morning, same breakfast every morning. Like, it was really.

A (4:52)

We see you guys were like the couple on the show.

B (4:55)

You know what? I guess you're. I guess you're right. But Josh Schwartz, the creator, would always take, you know, things from your own life and incorporate it into the. Into the show. Like Golden Girls. Huge Golden Girls fan. He put it in the show. We sing the theme song. So there was so much. You had to be careful around Schwartz, like, what you said or did, because

A (5:12)

he's like, that's the next week's episode.

B (5:14)

Absolutely.

A (5:14)

What is, like, the most common question you're asked about your time working on the oc?

B (5:21)

I mean, a lot of it was just like, what was it like? You know, getting that much attention that quickly and working together. And how was everyone on set? I know there's been, like, mixed things out there.

A (5:32)

Yeah.

B (5:33)

Who? We had a great time. We had a lot of fun in general together, personalities hanging out. But, yeah, a lot of the things are like, how did it feel to have that much success that quickly?

A (5:42)

It is kind of a unfathomable feeling at that age. I know what I was doing at 21. It was not that I was drinking in college, being a full degenerate, having sex and making bad decisions with my life.

B (5:54)

Oh, yeah. Oh, I did that just earlier.

A (5:56)

Okay. But still on kind of a pedestal of people watching you. And so I'm interested to know when the OC Became popular, how did it affect you, Your family, friends?

B (6:06)

Well, you know, like I said, because I was in a relationship, I was definitely on a different track and going through it together. So having that support really made the difference.

A (6:14)

Okay, so to anyone that hasn't watched or the OC Stands that are just like, just say the name Summer Roberts. Your character was hot, popular, rich. Who's the it girl? And then she starts basically getting into a relationship with Seth Cohen, who was played by Adam Brody.

B (6:30)

Yes.

A (6:31)

And so you have an on screen relationship, and then you start an off screen relationship.

B (6:35)

Yes.

A (6:36)

When was the moment you knew you had feelings for him?

B (6:38)

Oh, my God. It's so funny. I feel like on screen was kind of playing off screen because in the beginning, there was a triangle between another character, Anna Stern, played by Samira Armstrong, and then. And myself and Seth. And I felt like it kind of played into real life a little bit. Like, Samira and I were both like, wait a minute, like, I like Adam. No, I like Adam. And like, it kind of was happening off screen. And, you know, that that competitive side of you, like, with a guy and you're like, no, no, no. Like, hold on. It was like. I don't know if that heightened it. I obviously thought Brody was super cool. I knew him before the show. A friend of ours had dated him, actually. I know. So we knew him a little bit. And he was hilarious.

A (7:20)

Right?

B (7:20)

And I'm a sucker for a sense of humor.

A (7:22)

Like, absolutely.

B (7:24)

I mean, that is my weakness.

A (7:25)

So was there, like, a moment on set that immediately you were like, I'm gonna go for this.

B (7:30)

I remember standing in the hallway. Okay. I don't remember anything. And the fact that I remember this is kind of insane. I was standing in the hallway, and I was dating someone else at the time, and Brody, like, talked to me about the relationship and gave me advice on why I shouldn't be in it. And it was like this moment of like, oh, I want to be with you, you know? And it was like this. This pivotal moment. And there was like, a Halloween party. I think it was a Halloween party. And he kissed me for the first time. And that was it. Like, it was like, okay.

A (7:59)

And that was off camera. That was like. That kiss. You're saying off camera. I'm like, wait, was it Seth in Summer?

B (8:04)

But the first time he kissed me on screen, I think that was, like, the first time. Like, oh, is there something here?

A (8:08)

Right?

B (8:08)

But that can be confusing. You know, if you're doing a show or a movie and that happens sometimes you get confused, like, oh, do I really, like, feel this way? Am I feeling something? Or is it just.

A (8:17)

Is it true? I've heard from actors, like, you can tell a little bit if someone's more into you because there's, like, an appropriate way to kiss a co star.

B (8:24)

There's no tongue in television. Okay. If someone tongues you, you're gonna be like, oh. Either like, oh, no. Or like, oh, wait a minute.

A (8:33)

Oh, yeah.

B (8:33)

No, I'm just kidding.

A (8:34)

Did you guys. Tongue on camera? No, no, no. But then.

B (8:37)

No.

A (8:37)

Okay, wait. So that's really fun. And then do you have any advice for someone who is newly dating someone in their work environment?

B (8:45)

Oh, my God. Advice. You know, it sounds like I should probably be a pro with my track record. I think that just be friends first, because I think that'll help.

A (8:59)

Yeah.

B (9:00)

Because usually it ends sometimes I.

A (9:04)

You know what? I love you being realistic about it. Yeah, we. We love the realistic side.

B (9:08)

Oh, yeah. I'm very real, like, to a fault.

A (9:10)

Yeah. So when you're on set, was there ever an instance where dating someone you're working with. Like, was there ever something that was,

B (9:18)

like, hard about that aspect when we broke up? Like, that's the harder. I don't. You know. And then we both dated other people on the show while we were together. Real life. So sometimes you can be a little.

A (9:29)

I mean, he was kissing people on the show for your characters or the characters. Oh, I was like, wait, who did you date?

B (9:34)

Like, he was, like, kissing Olivia Wilde. And like, of course I'm gonna be like, well, you know, but I also get it. Like, can I kiss her?

A (9:40)

Like, is that when you guys broke up?

B (9:42)

No, we were together. We were together while that was happening.

A (9:45)

That would be a hard one.

B (9:46)

That's a hard one, right?

A (9:47)

Olivia Wilde walks in her. Yeah.

B (9:48)

You're like. And so cool. And she's the coolest person in real life, too. So you're like, well, I love her. And you're like, wait a minute. Your boyfriend's kissing her? And then it can be confusing. Yeah, it's just that kind of stuff. But that's normal.

A (10:00)

So how long did you guys date for?

B (10:02)

I think, like, three years and a half years.

A (10:05)

And was that three seasons?

B (10:06)

Yeah, we dated pretty much the whole show.

A (10:09)

It was such a huge show that blew up, and everyone was obsessed with you guys. Like the four people that were, like, the main kids on the show. And to have you being able to have a relationship with someone, to be your rock and your go to person while, like, your life is kind of changing before your eyes.

B (10:26)

I.

A (10:26)

That's a. I'm sure, like, a bond you guys will always have in, like a. Yeah, yeah.

B (10:30)

And even reconnecting with him, I spoke to him. He came on the OC podcast. Yeah, it was great. I love seeing him anytime I see him. Nothing but fond, like, loving feelings and great memories.

A (10:40)

So fun.

B (10:41)

Yes.

A (10:42)

Okay. Your character, you were so lovable. I'm wondering how was your personal, like, real life? Rachel Bilson high school experience.

B (10:51)

Oh, God. Oh, man. School for me, I wasn't so much like an academic, I would say. I just. It just didn't interest me. It's not like I couldn't do it. If I sat down and really studied and focused, I could do it, but my interests were, like, all over the place. And growing up in la, I think I grew up a little young, like, at 15. My friends and I and Olivia, who's here with me, like, we'd be getting into the clubs, like, you know, that's just what life.

A (11:17)

That sounds like. Summer Roberts.

B (11:19)

I mean, a little bit. A little bit.

A (11:21)

I Still remember exactly what I was wearing, where I was, the time of day, who I was with for the season three finale. Oh, like, I got the chills. I've never. And I still have not recovered from it.

B (11:36)

I haven't. I don't.

A (11:37)

I mean, spoiler alert. You know?

B (11:38)

Who hasn't? Marissa.

A (11:40)

To anyone that hasn't watched the show, pause and go watch it, please. Spoiler alert. The main character dies tragically.

B (11:48)

Like, the most tragic.

A (11:50)

Like, fuck you, Volchuck. Okay. But he was so hot.

B (11:53)

Oh, my God, he was so hot. Olivia dated him. Sorry.

A (11:56)

You've dated him? Oh, my God. Absolutely. As you said, we have someone in the audience. And God bless you, because I had his, like, poster. This guy Cam Gajenda. Is that how you say, I don't know, John Day? Yeah. Okay. Well, I was obsessed with him. Anyways. Marissa dies.

B (12:11)

Yep.

A (12:11)

Misha Barton's character. What was your reaction when you learned that Misha's character was getting killed off the show?

B (12:18)

It was very traumatic. Everyone felt was so somber on set, and you really. Because you're a family, and it is like a family member is leaving or dying, and it was brutal. I mean, still, I can picture it in my mind, and it's just. It was traumatizing, literally. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't remember, like, behind the scenes, really, like, the last time she was on set or. Yeah, like that. But it was definitely a dark time.

A (12:46)

Did you talk to Misha about her decision to leave the show?

B (12:50)

I don't think I ever had a personal conversation like, why are you leaving? I think it was a joint decision. I don't think it was, like, her decision, like, I'm gonna leave, or Josh and Stephanie's decision to be like, we're. We're getting. You know, you're. You're being killed off, because whatever, you know, I don't know what really happened behind the scenes as far as, like, who made the actual decision. I think that Josh felt like a lot of her storylines had run through. I mean, what else could you put the girl through? She literally, like, overdoses, shoots someone, you know? I mean, every possible storyline was done with that character.

A (13:24)

You're right. And it didn't seem fitting for her to, like, go. I think it was like, she was gonna go work on her dad's boat or something. I mean, that's not. Marissa's not going to work on a boat. Like, absolutely not. Like, she's going to Fashion Week.

B (13:34)

Right.

A (13:43)

Call her Daddy is brought to you by Revolve. If you have a night where you need an outfit that actually hits, like date night, girls night, something, you know, where you want to feel unforgettable. It's got to be from Revolve. Revolve is one of those places where you do not need to overthink it. Okay? Once you find one piece you like, then they show you similar options so you can basically build out an entire look instead of endlessly scrolling. They also just launched their festival shop with standout pieces and full looks. That already makes sense. It's giving. I didn't try that hard, but I look insane. Whether it's date night, a night out, or one of those I need to be remembered moments, Revolve always has it. And you have to check out their festival shop while you're there. It's that good. Go to Revolve.com CHD and use code CHD for 5015 off your first order. Fast shipping, easy return. So the only thing you have to think about is the outfit. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. I remember when I first got out of college. I was looking for a job for months, and every job post felt like I was either not experienced enough, overqualified somehow in the wrong city. Like I literally couldn't win and I couldn't figure it out. Daddy gang, if that is you right now, I hear you and I see you. Finding a job you actually click with. It is so hard and it takes time and it can be so extremely frustrating because then when you finally do find one you're excited about and you hit apply, you're like, okay, how do I make sure that they actually meet with me? How do I stand out? That is where ZipRecruiter comes in. I'm telling you guys, ZipRecruiter matches you up with the right jobs in minutes. And ZipRecruiter has a new feature that lets you be seen first. Just tell the employer why you're interested in the role and your application jumps to the top of their list. I could have used this so much when I was applying for jobs, guys. In fact, you nearly double your chances of talking to an employer by using this feature, guys. That's why ZipRecruiter is the number one rated job site based on G2. So stand out and get the job you want with ZipRecruiter. Go to this exclusive web address, ZipRecruiter.com/dummy right now to start finding jobs that match your skills again. That's ziprecruiter.com/dummy. How did the cast dynamic change for season four.

B (16:06)

Towards the end, I started to work on something else at the same time simultaneously. So I was so distracted that I wasn't really in it all the time presently, so I wasn't feeling all the things.

A (16:17)

And you had broken up with Adam

B (16:18)

at the time towards the end?

A (16:20)

Yes. Okay. So I guess it kind of felt probably, like, time to move on, like, by season four.

B (16:25)

Yeah. Especially like, working on another project and it was a film. Feeling like, okay, like, let's. This is ending. Like, what's happening?

A (16:32)

What's next? Okay, we're moving on.

B (16:34)

Okay.

A (16:36)

We are both the daughters of therapists, but in your case, you were raised by a sex therapist.

B (16:44)

Yeah. So my mom's always like, I'm not a sex therapist. I'm more like a sex counselor and whatever. The woman will talk about sex to your blue in the face. Like, as a daughter, like, I know your mom's a therapist, so. Yeah, yeah. But just, like, really coming with it. No problem. I'm like. I remember going on the Wendy Williams show, and I think I used cunnilingus, and they, like, blurred it. Like, they had to bleep it out. I'm like, is that a bad word? Like, what did I say? You know, because my mom's always like, cunnilingus and, you know, like, all the proper terms.

A (17:12)

Right. And you're like, that's what I grew up around.

B (17:13)

I'm like, isn't that what it's called? Oh, sorry. Eating. Eating me out. Like, what? You know, I'm like, was that. Would that have been better? Wendy?

A (17:20)

I totally get it. I. That's, I think, fascinating where when you grow up, usually you're hiding everything from your parents. You're like, I don't want them to know. And to be raised by a sex counselor or therapist. How do you think having your mom have that profession impact the way you handled relationships? Growing up?

B (17:40)

You know, it was always like, a very open household. Like, nudity, like, all of it. You know, so feeling, like, really comfortable in your skin, which was great. And talking about it all. Like, the night I lost my virginity, I was very young, and my mom the next day sitting me down, being like, let's talk about sex. I'm like, how did you know? Like, how do you know these things? Like, you know, it was just like that all the time.

A (18:02)

Rachel, you're glowing, sweetie. I know.

B (18:04)

Like, honey, there was, like, a weird crunchy towel in the bathroom. That's not real. Not real condoms only. I was like, very young.

A (18:14)

Okay, okay, so you so did you then tell your mom in that conversation you lost your virginity? Yeah.

B (18:19)

I was like, yeah, Mom, I did it. She's like, how was it? I'm like, it was very quick, and. And, like, whatever. Who is like, I have my first time.

A (18:27)

Like, you don't enjoy it.

B (18:28)

No. Your vagina is supposed to know you don't enjoy it. Like, I didn't really enjoy sex until I was, like, much older, you know?

A (18:35)

And I respect you for saying that, because I think a lot of women. I've said a lot on my podcast. It's really. It's almost like you feel shame if you don't experience an orgasm or you're not enjoying it right away. And so there's, like, this.

B (18:48)

It's the worst thing.

A (18:49)

Yeah. And then women don't want to say they're not because, like, I had a lot of teammates. I was on a soccer team in college, and everyone would just be talking about, like, oh, my God, like, I had the best sex last night. And meanwhile, I'm like, out of these 12 girls talking, there's no fucking way. Every single one of them just had an orgasm.

B (19:03)

No, there's no way.

A (19:03)

There's no way.

B (19:04)

There's no way.

A (19:04)

Like, so it's like, you lie about it almost because you're embarrassed and you want to, like, fit in for sure. And you're like, what's wrong with me? But I love that you're normalizing. Like, hey, I didn't enjoy sex till later.

B (19:15)

I've always been brutally honest. I've never faked an orgasm. Like, I'm not that person to lie to, to put on airs or whatever it is. Like, it's like, no, I. Nope. Never faking it. No, I can't do it. It took a very long time for me to be able to, and I think it's important. Why would you lie?

A (19:31)

What is the best sex advice that your mother has given you? AK Give it to us, AKA share it with us, Rachel.

B (19:39)

Oh, God, I'm trying to think. I mean, she's always very into, like, relaxing, like, to the point where your first gyno, you know, your gyno appointment. Like, envision your vagina opening up like a flower and take breath.

A (19:52)

Breaths.

B (19:52)

And like, I'm like, all right, I'll try it. Like, here comes the rose. Like, you know what I mean? But it's helpful because it makes it so relaxed. And just even having those visuals, which is, like, super weird to some people, can be really helpful. You know, I was, like, 13 the first time I Went. And you're young.

A (20:09)

Like, it's hard to do that.

B (20:11)

Oh, my God, you're so in your head. And that's the thing about orgasms, too. Like, you're so in your head, and if you have that pressure or whatever, never gonna happen.

A (20:18)

Never ever. And it's so. But it's so hard. And I just want to normalize that. It is hard. And, like, you're not alone. If you're listening and you haven't had an orgasm.

B (20:26)

Absolutely.

A (20:26)

You are not alone.

B (20:27)

No, you're not alone.

A (20:28)

I feel like in the past, I know I have definitely faked an orgasm.

B (20:31)

I know, like, most women have that I've spoken to.

A (20:34)

I think that there's an. There's two parts. Number one, and maybe if I was in college and I was like, I'm never having an orgasm. I'm gonna fucking fake it so it can be over, which I know is so bad, and I don't do that anymore.

B (20:44)

But there's another way to get them to finish. Like, say the right things or. Okay, let's.

A (20:48)

Here we go. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, here we go. And then I think the other part is, like, there's also some times where I know, like, I'm having such incredible sex, but I just know that I'm not going to get there. And so I'm gonna fake it because I genuinely, like, you know what? I had great sex, but I'm just gonna fake it at the end because, like, I. He probably is gonna keep going because he thinks I haven't finished yet, and I know he can finish. So just go ahead.

B (21:15)

Right?

A (21:15)

Just like, what do you do, though, to, like. If a guy's like, have you finished? Like, the pressure, like, how do you tell guys basically, like, no, I didn't finish.

B (21:23)

You know what? I am so honest. I can have great sex. It's hard for me to orgasm, but after all, it's like, oh, my God, like, you know, that was great, or whatever you want to say. Like, it felt so good and it's hard for me to. Orgasm has nothing to do with you. Like, obviously, I think we can get there. Or sometimes if you can't, you don't say those things, but. But if it feels good, you want to give them props.

A (21:41)

Obviously, the phenomenon of, like, porn and guys being obsessed with trying to, like, get a girl to squirt and, like, get a girl to, like, come. Yeah, they try so hard, and they're almost. Have you ever had a guy be so focused on trying to give you an orgasm? Like, how do you go about that basically being like. Like, tapping his head, Being like, calm down. Right? Like, what do you do?

B (22:03)

Yeah, I just pull them up.

A (22:05)

You pull them up?

B (22:05)

Oh, yeah. Like, it's just not. Yeah. You know? And I think a lot of guys, if they know what they're doing, they can tell if it's not gonna go that way, you know? And I think that comes a lot with experience and age. Like, with a younger dude, they might not really know, you know? But a guy who's been doing it

A (22:20)

for a while, he gets to.

B (22:21)

They know what's up.

A (22:21)

I agree. I think sometimes, ladies, if you're listening and you're struggling with that, like, that's such good advice of, like, sometimes you literally don't need to say anything. Like, I've done that so many times where I'm like, okay, like, come fuck me. Like, you just pull them up and.

B (22:32)

Yeah, for sure.

A (22:33)

Let's go. And then they'll be like, oh, okay. It's. You'll just move on.

B (22:37)

Yes.

A (22:38)

Okay. Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner had different sex drives than you? And how did you guys handle that?

B (22:45)

For sure. You know, that's an example of getting in your head. Because I have been in one where, like, or maybe I haven't been as interested after a while in having sex with the person. And my head, I'm like, okay, I had sex today. If I wait two or three days, okay, maybe I can do it again on Thursday, and then he'll be okay, you know? But then you're in your head, and then you're like, oh, fuck. And I had that for a while. Like, even after a relationship, being stuck in that and overthinking like, we had sex today. Okay, when do I have to have it again? To.

A (23:13)

You know, that is the most relatable thing. Just to pause you right there. I can't imagine how many women are like, me too, Rachel. What the do you do to, like, combat that?

B (23:23)

Right? It's. Yeah, it's. It's. It's so tough, right? Because battling your head and your body, because there's totally different things, and even if I want to have sex, my head could be like, no, I don't really want to. And then you're stuck in that pattern of like, okay, I'm going to calculate this.

A (23:38)

Do you feel like when that happened to you with that partner? Because I hear what you're saying. Like, that. That specific. It felt like you're kind of like, I'm not sure if I'm in this anymore. And, like, I don't know what I'm doing.

B (23:47)

Right.

A (23:48)

Did it go on for a while? Did you end it? Did you find any, like, remedy for it?

B (23:52)

Yeah, it's probably like, the last year and a half of doing a pattern until it finally broke off, you know, and just sticking to that and being like. Because I'm a very. I'm a people pleaser that carries over into relationships.

A (24:06)

But I feel like. I feel like in those moments, I feel like that's a good red flag for yourself to know. Like, hey, Henry.

B (24:14)

No, I'm letting. He needs his space. There he goes.

A (24:16)

Oh, my God. Thank you. I think in those moments, what I would say to women is, number one. It may be a good red flag for you to be like, hey, maybe I'm not as into this person as I thought.

B (24:27)

Yeah, like, listen to what's going on.

A (24:29)

Also, I would say I've sometimes had moments where I'm just, like, out of it with my sex drive and it's not my partner. And so sometimes, like, maybe finding time for yourself to masturbate, which is way

B (24:41)

easier if you need an orgasm. It's so much easier and quicker yourself because you know your body so well.

A (24:47)

And then I feel like sometimes for me. And I don't know if you feel the same, but, like, sometimes men, when I do that, like, maybe I'll be a little bit more horny that day. And then, like, I'm like, oh, I kind of would want to have sex tonight. Like.

B (24:55)

Right.

A (24:56)

So just making sure. Just checking in with yourself is really what it is about. And it's really not about your partner.

B (25:01)

Yeah, it can be either. There is a difference.

A (25:03)

Totally.

B (25:03)

Sure. And I've been in both.

A (25:05)

How do you approach bringing a toy into the bedroom for the first time with a partner?

B (25:09)

Okay, so I have very little experience with this. I didn't even have a vibrator until a few years ago. Like, I was gifted one from a guy I was dating. I was like, fuck, yeah. Like, that's awesome. Like, okay, he's totally open and that. I feel like that shows a guy with awareness. Right. And I had. I've only used one with that person, and I haven't really brought it back since, but I would like to.

A (25:36)

Did you like using it with your partner?

B (25:38)

I did, except there was, like, one thing we were doing, and it, like, really hurt. Like, it was not the right. Like, maybe this isn't the right way to be doing this, but I think it can be totally fun and it should be More accepted. And I know there are guys out there that would feel like their ego hurt, like, oh, why do you need this? Like, I can give you this.

A (25:55)

It's like, no, but your tongue can't buzz like that.

B (25:57)

No. Like it doesn't actually vibrate. But like just having guys that are aware and like, oh, this is going to help her. And then they actually are about you being pleasured as well, I think is awesome.

A (26:08)

Have you used it alone? Eventually, for sure. And I think they're great. And I feel like I actually. It's funny, I was gifted one as well back in college.

B (26:18)

Like your first one?

A (26:18)

Yes. I was literally using a toothbrush at the time. That was an electric toothbrush. The back of the head. Hey, you know, and my friend Lauren was like, I went through a breakup and she was like, alex, come with me. I'm like, where are we going? And she brought me to a sex shop. And she was like, we need to get you a vibrator because stop using your toothbrush. I'm like, I don't brush my teeth with it. Please let me clarify.

B (26:37)

Right.

A (26:38)

But I think it was a, it was a cute moment because then afterwards, like, I definitely enjoyed time alone with myself and I enjoyed time with my partner more. But I agree, like, you have to find the right one for sex.

B (26:49)

Right?

A (26:49)

And I think you're right. It takes a certain partner, someone that's confident in themselves and wants to make sure that they're pleasing you. If maybe even if your partner was like, oh, Rachel has mentioned, like, sometimes it's hard for her to orgasm. Like, let me think outside the box because I want her to enjoy sex as much as I'm enjoying it. Like, let's get her a vibrator. I think that's someone that's really confident in themselves and the relationship and wants you to enjoy yourself. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ashley Ashley Lux is an all new collection that's changing the meaning of luxury and inspires your everyday spaces with premium furnishings at a surprisingly practical price. These pieces are well made with quality materials like sculpted wood, honed stone, soft velvets, supple leather and brushed metal. And the Ashley Lux collection allows you to become the artist of your own space with accents and decor that you can mix and match. Because style isn't about creating the perfect setting, it's about how you live. Daddy gang. It is so important to have your home curated in a way that makes you feel good, but also you want high quality furniture at a great price. And that is what Ashley Brings you. They have these wood tables in their Neo line that is basically a celebration of tone and texture, featuring curved forms, hammered hardware, and a rich espresso finish which will look so gorgeous in almost any home. So, Daddy gang, if you are looking for some new furniture, discover the new Ashley luxe collection by visiting Ashley in store or online at ashley.com l u x e Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Southern New Hampshire University. A good support system is literally everything, and it's what makes Southern New Hampshire University truly next level. And even as online, even as an online student, you'll have real support from real people like admission counselors, instructors, and ride or die academic advisors, all genuinely cheering you on every step of the way. So daddy gang, if you're like, where? Where should I go? Where? Where is it? You know your answer. Now, getting your degree online doesn't have to mean doing it alone. Start yours at snhu.edu/call her Daddy. You recently mentioned that your breakup with actor Bill Hader was worse than child.

B (29:00)

Okay, I did not actually say that. I'm happy you brought that up.

A (29:02)

Whoa, let's clarify.

B (29:04)

I said, okay. Obviously, he and I, we're not still together, so we broke up. But it was during, you know, a time where you could not leave your house. Okay. You had to sit in whatever it was that you were going through. So I had to deal with this. I had to deal with being alone and taking care of my kid and like, everything else. And I'm, like, being isolated and not being able to connect with any humans, not being able to help myself. Like, I got into a depression. Like, all of these things that time, having to be forced to face all of your shit I said was harder than childbirth. Is anything more painful? No. Maybe kidney stones, which definitely is a close second. But, like. No, I didn't say that. You know, all breakups are hard.

A (29:48)

Of course.

B (29:48)

You know, like, especially when you are in something that you're really into and things happen, you know, and things change. And, you know, there was a pandemic. Like, there were so many things going on. Yes, it was a hard time.

A (30:03)

I cannot imagine. I think I know a lot of people messaged me going through breakups and pandemics. I mean, people were going through so much in the pandemic. Whether it was almost like a breakup within yourself of self realizing something. There was a lot. Yeah. And so I completely understand what you're saying with regard to that.

B (30:20)

Think about it. And the first thing you want to do, like, after a breakup is like, get out there and, you know, socialize and be out with your friends and, like, your. You know, do your thing. And you literally can only sit in a house with your child that you're taking care of. You can't even take care of yourself first, you know, and just sit with life and everything that comes along with it.

A (30:41)

Totally.

B (30:41)

So it was just, like, about being isolated and going through the pandemic with

A (30:46)

all the things in life when you broke up. Because it was a pandemic. Was it like, a phone call? Like, did you even get to see this person in person when you guys broke up?

B (30:54)

It was not. Yeah, it was not in person. Yeah, well, because, you know, in the beginning, when you're so isolated and you're so scared because you don't know, like, you're like, oh, my God, I looked at someone like, am I going to die? And, you know, he has his own family he has to think about. I had my own family to think about. And, like, obviously, obviously, Briar's dad, like, you know, it was like our bubble. So, like, we're not gonna see anyone. He's not gonna see anyone. So it was definitely done and not, like, your normal, like, in person way.

A (31:21)

What helped you ultimately heal from the pain of that heartbreak with Bill?

B (31:26)

You know what was so interesting? Having. It was almost like a blessing in disguise. So having to be alone with all of the. And your thoughts and not leave the house. Like, I had to look at everything, and I'm like, okay, I've been in therapy for years, which I love. Big fan, big advocate, and, like, do therapy, like, write, if that helps you. Like, I was reading books. I was doing things that I never had time to do, and it gave me that time to just really do things for myself. Like, yes, I'm looking after my kid, but there was obviously shared time, so I would have time absolutely alone. Alone. Alone.

A (32:03)

Yeah.

B (32:04)

And I got to do the things that I always wanted to do, and it really helped me. And it was like, oh, I'm focusing just on me. And it's not about the guy or, you know, the relationship. It's literally just about me as a human. I was happy that I was forced to sit in, like, the pain or the hurt or, you know, all the feelings that come along with it, because I got to get through it. Some people will hold onto that for years, like, because they'll distract themselves so you don't actually face those feelings you're feeling.

A (32:32)

I mean, can. If we can talk about that a little bit, because I think A lot of people can relate to that topic of, like, kind of knowing something maybe isn't right, but. And again, being in a pandemic, like, how did you. Or I don't know if it was your decision, but come to that decision of, like, I'm. This is gonna end, even if it's a pandemic, like, how did you get to that point to end it or whoever ended it?

B (32:56)

I think it was the stress of the situation in the world that led to it. No one knew how to be or react, you know, And I think it was just a result of that alone, the stress of it all.

A (33:10)

Oh, really?

B (33:10)

Yeah.

A (33:10)

Because do you think if the pandemic hadn't happened maybe.

B (33:13)

I mean, I would think it probably would have went on maybe a little longer, but then in retrospect, looking at it, you're like, obviously it would have ended because it did, you know, but

A (33:23)

maybe it almost ended faster.

B (33:25)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (33:26)

So I guess that's kind of, like, a good way to look at, like, a positive. Because I think a lot of times,

B (33:30)

like, we get deeper into it and more time goes by, but ultimately it's not the one.

A (33:36)

Right.

B (33:37)

So it was, like I said, blessing in disguise in many ways.

A (33:40)

Have you through relationships now, like, when you think of the one and, like, what your wants are, how have you found that through what you've gone through with your past relationships, in your mind, everything.

B (33:52)

And I think, people. And as you get older, you know, I'm 40 years old, you go through all these experiences, and you're like, oh, I'm taking things from each thing. Right. So there's always a positive, because it's like, I recognize something in this relationship that did not work for me. So the next time I need this, and I've gotten to a place now where I know exactly what I want, what I need, and for the first time, I'm not afraid to say it.

A (34:15)

Can you give us an example of something from any relationship you've ever been in that you're like, this is something I know personally for me, that just, like, doesn't work for me in a relationship.

B (34:23)

Hmm.

A (34:24)

And then also a need, like, someone

B (34:26)

controlling is never good, you know? And I, like, I said people pleasing. I was definitely weaker, and I could, like, be subjected to that and be like, okay, like, yeah, I'll just do whatever he says. And that's a pattern with me in a lot of the relationships I've had. So that's something, like, huge that I'm like, no, I need to make my decisions. And I need to stick to what I know and be strong. Like the strength in me would always be a lot weaker in relationships when I was younger. And now being older, I know exactly, like how to speak up for myself. I should say.

A (35:05)

Call her Daddy is brought to you by Plan B. One step. Okay, Daddy gang, we know sex is great, but there is one thing about sex and life. Plan A doesn't always work out. So having backup birth control like plan B emergency contraception is always great because guess what? It is your body, your call. And plan B gets that. It helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. Take it within 72 hours after unprotected sex. Sooner you take it, the better it works. And if you're like, just not ready for kids yet, don't worry because plan B won't impact your future fertility. I love that for us, Daddy gang. So follow plan B on insta at plan B, one step. Use as directed. There is nothing better than realizing you saved money and you find your savings and you're like, oh my God, I did it. Rakuten is a smart way to save money and feel rewarded. When you shop with Rakuten, you earn cash back and rewards on nearly every purchase. From shopping to travel to experiences, beauty and dining. You can even maximize your savings by stacking cash cash back on top of other deals like store sales and coupons. Rakuten partners with all your favorite brands too, like Ulta, Instacart, Fenty, Beauty, Ugg and Ticketmaster. When it's time to redeem your cash back, you can do it by check, PayPal, built points, or even in the form of a gift card from one of your fave stores. Plus, eligible American Express card members can choose to earn membership reward points instead of cash back. Terms and conditions apply. Using Rakuten is free and all you need is an email to sign up. Join for free@rakuten.com that's r a k u t n.com or download the Rakuten app to start saving money today. Have you gotten to a point though where, like, you can recognize when it's happening? Yes. And then know how to get out of it?

B (37:07)

Yeah. I mean, it's one of those things because when you're in something and you don't see it, but then you get out of it, it's so clear that now that you can recognize it because you've acknowledged that you can recognize it anytime it comes up, you're like, oh no, he's doing this thing. Yep, I'm not okay with it.

A (37:22)

What does it Need. What are you? Like these? This is something I definitely need in a partner.

B (37:27)

I need someone make me cough me in the morning. Like, yes, thank you. Honestly, I crave just like on top of me, missionary, like some dudes that like, aren't down with that. I need a man on top of me sometimes. You know what I mean? And like, that's another thing. Sexually, I'm like, yes, like, own it. I need to feel it. Like, like Carrie says in sex, I need to feel the weight of a man on top of me. It's like, I can so relate to that.

A (37:50)

Guys, if anyone's listening, Rachel needs coffee and missionary.

B (37:54)

I mean, I feel like it's doable.

A (37:56)

Are you currently single?

B (37:58)

I am not.

A (38:00)

Okay, okay. Is he bringing you coffee in the morning and is he doing missionary?

B (38:03)

Yeah.

A (38:06)

That's actually great.

B (38:07)

Okay, great.

A (38:07)

Is there anything that you look back and you're like, there's a thing theme throughout people you've dated.

B (38:13)

A theme. I do. I have noticed. This isn't. This is a generalization. Right. I think I've dated quite a few actors and I do think that some of them, not all, have very like self involved tendencies. And I think that just kind of comes along with the territory a lot of the time. Right. I'm not saying all of them that I've dated have them, but it is a theme and I don't like it.

A (38:39)

Do you think you would ever stray from the actor?

B (38:42)

Oh, yeah, for sure. I always tell myself like, never again. And then of course, you're in another project, another person. But no, you know, and I will say, you know, with respect for my daughter's father, he is not like that.

A (38:57)

I get what you're saying of like it. You don't want to fall into that tendency. And then you're on a movie set. Is it hard when you're single and on sets to like, not get involved in that kind of stuff?

B (39:09)

Well, for sure, because think about it. Any workplace you're in, you're surrounded by the people. You're around them every day. And you'll meet different personalities and sometimes you'll really have chemistry with someone. It doesn't matter where you are. Yes, it's a set, but it's literally someone you're spending mostly 12 hours a day with. So you're gonna get to know these people better than you would get to know someone you're just casually dating in the beginning. Because it's literally.

A (39:33)

That's why I feel like a lot of people do get into like workplace relationships. I'm not encouraging it, everyone, but like, any job you're at, if you work in sales, real estate, it does. It doesn't have to be entertainment. And you are with that person all day, every day. And it starts as a friendship, right? It starts as you're cordial. You're going to get to the coffee together, you're going to craft services together, and you're then talking about your life and all of a sudden that blossoms into like, oh, maybe you could be. No, though it could always end.

B (40:03)

Of course.

A (40:04)

And if it's gonna potentially always end, be friends. Be friends and, like, protect yourself and, like, make decisions of, like, before you jump in. I think some people that have maybe, like, I think actors are lucky because it's like, then you're off to your next project, right?

B (40:17)

It's like summer camp a lot of the time.

A (40:18)

Yes, yes. And if you're in a nine to five, sweetheart, that's not summer camp. That is all day round, baby. So make sure you're going to be cozy if he's in the cubicle and like, a couple weeks later, you guys break up.

B (40:28)

Yeah, for sure.

A (40:29)

Because that's difficult.

B (40:30)

Way difficult.

A (40:31)

Okay. You get very personal on your pod. Has it been cathartic to talk about your personal life on your podcast?

B (40:41)

It has. Like, I'm still a very private person. Like, I won't, like, name names or, you know, but I want. We wanted to create a space that. And you know what? Before we started, I listened to your first call Her Daddy, and I was

A (40:54)

like, oh, my podcast.

B (40:55)

Yes. The fact that you were so just transparent and, like, didn't give a. Like, you said every. You know what I mean?

A (41:04)

It was just texted me and I said, I want you to degrade me.

B (41:07)

Yes.

A (41:07)

Oh, my God, that's awful. God bless. I remember that. Recording that to this day.

B (41:11)

You do?

A (41:12)

Oh, my God. I remember going in there, just being like, I'm just gonna say everything that happened this week.

B (41:16)

Right.

A (41:16)

I had no idea what I was doing. I'd never listened to a podcast in my life before I recorded that. I think my voice was so affected, so fake. I was like, hi, guys, this is Alex. Like, I can't listen back.

B (41:29)

Well, I get it. It's like watching your first project, you're like, oh, my God, like, what is that? I get it. But that being said, just the very, like, transparency and just being super honest and open, I fucking loved. You know? And so my best friend Olivia and I were like, we want to create a safe space where women or even men, you know, we have men coming on now, just being open and honest and getting into it and not afraid to speak whatever's on their mind. Like, obviously we go there about sex, but we. It's life, Right. And we're moms, and it's. It's a whole different thing, and it's a different phase of life, but it feels really good to have our own platform to do that.

A (42:05)

I love that. And I think that, listen, I have had some where I come up with fake names for people, and then people still find it out.

B (42:12)

So don't do that.

A (42:13)

If you're a private Rachel, I'll give you that. Don't come up with, like, oh, this one's door number three, and this is Slim Shady, and don't do that. But when you talk about the themes of what you're going through, that is relatable, because we all can relate in some capacity. We're all human beings going through depression, anxiety, happiness, stress, sadness. Like, hard times with your romantic, with your family, with your friends. And so I think, like, it's cool to have anyone sit down in front of a microphone and be open. Like, I think everyone can appreciate that.

B (42:41)

I would hope so. And I think it's accessible, and people, like, kind of crave that authenticity. Yeah. And I think for me, it's like, okay, I can speak personally about my own experiences, but I don't want to, like, bring other people in that don't have a mic in front of them and can't either defend or share their side.

A (42:56)

That is the catch, 22 of it all. And I'm still trying to figure it out.

B (43:01)

I know, right?

A (43:02)

You got to, like, push the boundary, but for sure, like, respecting. I get it. Right. Respecting people in your life.

B (43:07)

Absolutely.

A (43:08)

I think I read you don't introduce your child to people you date.

B (43:13)

I've learned.

A (43:14)

Yeah.

B (43:14)

From, you know, mistakes in the past, that you don't want to do it too quickly.

A (43:18)

Yeah.

B (43:18)

But luckily, you know, she's only seven now, and she was a lot younger before and whatnot, so it probably didn't resonate as much as it would now, per se. But, yeah, I think that's super important because I don't want it to look like some revolving door or I don't know how it's going to affect her. And she's number one for me, like, totally, hands down, before work, before men, before anything. And so I don't take that lightly.

A (43:44)

Have you had a lot of people that are respectful of that?

B (43:46)

Yeah, I've only had positive experiences, luckily. But Also, that speaks to, like, me knowing what I need and want now. So I'm not going to entertain anything. If they don't understand the kid comes first.

A (43:56)

And I think that's great. And it's also, like, ladies, be fucking confident. Like, you did the most incredible thing in the world, which is bring a human being onto this earth. And, like, if someone is not going to be positive and accepting of however you want to handle the boundaries, tell them to protect themselves and find someone better for sure.

B (44:13)

And a lot of women have those insecurities. I think.

A (44:15)

Absolutely.

B (44:16)

Moms or whatever age you are at that point and just thinking, like, oh, are guys gonna want. It's like, oh, fuck that.

A (44:21)

Yeah, you know, totally. Being a public figure most of your life. Is there anything that you would like to share that you think maybe is, like a misconception about you or people maybe think about you, that you're like, oh, I would like to, like, clarify and kind of just say my piece on that.

B (44:35)

God, you know, I feel like I've been fortunate enough to have mostly a positive response and I think, you know, I love that. It's important to me, like, how I carry myself, setting an example, whatever, but I'm super fucking crass and, like, have a dirty sense of humor and I'm not afraid to show it. And I think it'll come through on broad ideas like the new podcast. But I feel very fortunate. Like, I feel like I've gone through this time of my life where I've been, you know, working or whatever, in a decent way, where I can be proud that my daughter will see how I carried myself.

A (45:09)

What do you attribute that to? Because I think a lot of people are like. Like this. Like, I got me up by being in the public. Whether it was maybe they didn't come from the best family to give them values or whether.

B (45:19)

No, that's. Yeah.

A (45:20)

Like, what do you think? Think you why you just end up having such a good, like, straight and narrow path of. There's not a lot of drama around you.

B (45:26)

I think that the support system you have around you is huge. All my best friends are. My best friends since high school and before in junior high, never strayed from that. I don't make new friends often. And my family, I have a very supportive family and I grew up that way and a loving, open mom, clearly. And I think that is just such a big part of it. And people around you that know you so well, they can just. If you have a moment, you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Like get the back down here. What are you doing? And I have that, and we trust that. And it's like the friends, like, no, you can't borrow my new dress. Like, it's that comfortability of, like, I haven't worn it yet, you know?

A (46:04)

Yeah, you can be real with.

B (46:05)

You can be real.

A (46:06)

Totally. No, I. I really respect you saying that. And I feel like it's really cool to get to sit down with you because we respect your work so much. And so now it's cool to be able to, like, sit with Rachel Bilson and talk with you and get to know you.

B (46:18)

I'm such a fan of yours. I was like, oh, my God. I get to sit. Like, it was just such a cool thing. And I think this is so beautiful what you're doing. I love it. And it inspired me to, you know, just be able to go there. Like, you gave me the confidence is like, you can be who the fuck you are and say what the fuck you want and still be a successful woman in this world. And it's awesome.

A (46:36)

Rachel, thank you so much for coming on. Call her daddy.

B (46:38)

Thank you so much. Ah, to hydrate or caffeinate? Why not both? New Sonic Refreshers are the perfect blend of thirst quenching and energy boosting. Made with real fruit and a splash of green tea. Enjoy it sparkling or still in three mouthwatering flavors. Coolberry, citrus, sweet mango, peach, and bold strawberry passion fruit. The perfect daily sip when you just

A (47:15)

want a little something.

B (47:17)

Get all new Sonic Refreshers. Live free.

A (47:20)

Eat Sonic Daddy gang. You know, my priority in life is to be comfortable at all times of the day. I love a good hoodie. I love some cozy sweatpants. And lately I have been loving and living in my hands free Skechers slip ins. Let me tell you something, okay? These have been a game changer for me when it comes to footwear. I love that I don't have to bend down and put these on. You can literally just slip right into them and you're good to go. I don't even have to deal with laces. Okay? I have seriously tied these shoes one time and I've never had to do it again. I'm usually the type of person that's just cramming my feet into my tied sneakers because I'm just too lazy to, you know, reach down and undo them. But these shoes are actually built for that. Genius. Okay? The best part is there are a ton of styles and colors to choose from. So whether you need a sandal or a sneaker or even a high performance running shoe, there is truly something for everyone. Every shoe is designed to feel like pillows under your feet because Skechers takes comfort as seriously as we all do. Also, the shoes are both affordable and machine washable, so you can now pay less and keep them looking newer longer. If you're ready to upgrade your footwear game and say insanely comfortable, head to Skechers.com for the biggest selection in the world plus all the hard to find styles. That's only@Skechers.com call her daddy is brought to you by Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. We all know how good it feels to refresh our space and sometimes a little spring cleaning. Pick me up with Clorox Disinfecting Wipes is the best way to get back on track. Let me just say she's quick, she's easy, she's Clorox Disinfecting Wipes plus the lemon scent. Oh my God. You know what it reminds me of my mom. My mom used these in our home growing up. No doubt about it. Our house smelled so incredibly clean and now I just have them in my house because it's tradition, right? My mom used it and naturally I use whatever my mother used. It is the best. Guys, a quick wipe down is one of the easiest ways to channel a little spring cleaning energy. The wipes are perfect also for multitasking so you can just get back to your day to day with ease and with a better vibe. Thanks to Clorox, we can have spring cleaning and they can get us through it, right? We don't need to stress. Thank you Clorox. Okay, so shop Clorox Disinfecting Wipes now at walmart.com cloroxwipes.