Call Her Daddy Podcast Summary

Host: Alex Cooper
Episode: Rotting is Ruining Your Life
Date: October 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this solo episode, Alex Cooper tackles the all-too-relatable topic of "rotting"—spending hours passively consuming content, procrastinating, and avoiding real life responsibilities, all while convincing ourselves that we’re relaxing. Drawing from her own struggles with anxiety, sleep issues, and overstimulation, Alex explores how the cultural phenomenon of "rotting culture" is actually making our lives more stressful, not restful. With her signature blend of candor, humor, and therapy-backed advice, Alex dissects the harmful ways we "rot" and shares practical strategies to break the cycle, including insights from her own therapist. The episode also features candid advice to listeners on relationships, friendship boundaries, and healing after betrayal.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of "Rotting" Culture

Timestamps: 01:35 – 13:00

• Alex shares her autumn routine: Cozy clothes, tea, re-watching favorite shows.
• Describes increased life stress and the year-end scramble.
• Big struggle: Difficulty falling asleep due to an overactive mind, especially at bedtime.
  • “The minute I lay down, I feel like I have just been tossing and turning for hours.” (03:17)
• Compares her own sleeplessness to her husband Matt’s ability to instantly fall asleep—sharing a relatable partner dynamic.
  • “I turn my head over...and my husband, the minute his head hits the pillow, this man is asleep.” (04:35)

Insight from Therapy

• Her therapist points out Alex spends every moment with noise or stimulation—leaving no “quiet time” for her mind to process stress during the day.
  • Quote: “The first moment of silence I feel like I get in my days are when my head hits the pillow at night.” (05:52)
• This need for constant stimulation is an avoidance coping mechanism, not relaxation.
  • “Needing constant stimulation is actually a stress response. It is your body going into avoidance mode.” (07:28)
• She describes the “freeze state”—where avoiding thoughts feels good short-term but worsens anxiety long-term.

2. Rotting ≠ Resting: The Illusion of Relaxation

Timestamps: 09:30 – 13:00

• “Rot culture” is reframed as overstimulation (multiple screens, endless scrolling, TV/phone/laptop at once).
  • “We convince ourselves that this is resting. I’m relaxed. I’m in heaven right now. But...we are actually just overstimulating our nervous system and making ourselves more anxious.” (10:22)
• The Sunday Scaries hit harder when a whole day is spent “rotting,” leaving people more anxious for the week ahead.

3. Breaking the Cycle: Therapist-Approved Strategies

Timestamps: 13:00 – 22:00

• Key challenge: Pick one mundane task (like cleaning your closet) and do it in complete silence—no phone, music, or TV.
  • “For the past two months on my Sundays, I have been cleaning out my closet in complete silence.” (11:56)
• The discomfort passes, and actual presence & clarity emerges.
  • “At first it was really tough. My brain was craving noise...but once I pushed through, something shifted. I was actually present with what I was doing.” (12:40)
• Realizations and to-do’s come up naturally, and a dopamine stability sets in, making relaxation more real.
• Social media is not relaxation:
  • “I asked my therapist for tangible help to break this cycle...” (11:33)
  • “Nothing about social media is relaxing... other than ASMR videos where they’re like cutting, like, random stuff.” (13:46)

Additional Tips

• Find pockets of quiet throughout the day (doing makeup without music, eating without screens, even brushing teeth without scrolling TikTok).
• Alex’s life has “changed” since these practices, feeling “more clarity” and “smarter.” (14:07–14:09)
  • “I feel happier. I literally picked up a book the other night and only touched my phone to set my alarm.” (14:08)

4. Therapist's “Sunday Reset” Protocol

Timestamps: 14:53 – 20:45

• Step 1: Start Sunday (or any day) with an activity you enjoy, without picking up your phone immediately.
• Step 2: Write and rank your to-do list in order of importance; start with the hardest task if you can, bonus points for doing it in silence.
• Step 3: Quit the to-do list when burnt out, shift to true relaxation (reading, bath, outdoor time, but not phone scrolling).
• Step 4: No late-night scrolling; put down the phone an hour before bed.

“Most work hours you don’t have to be checking your phone at 6am, right? Like, I don’t have to check my phone...but I just do it. So then I start my stress earlier. No, no, this is an hour of peace and quiet for me.” (15:45)

• If insomnia hits, don’t suffer in bed—get up, dim the lights, do something soothing (read, journal), let body relax before retrying sleep.
• For night-owl creative types (aka Alex): Brain dump ideas on paper so you don’t ruminate/lose sleep.

“A lot of times I’ve been picking up a book at night and reading. Obviously not something that’s like a freaking page-turner. Like, I’m not trying to read Twilight at night… you’re looking for just a chill book.” (21:06)

Big Takeaway

Avoiding and overstimulating only increases anxiety and prevents true rest. Sitting with discomfort is key to breaking the “rotting” cycle.

5. Social Media, Phone Addiction, & Accountability

Timestamps: 21:00 – 24:00

• Alex highlights generational differences: Millennials remember life before phone addiction; Gen Alpha will struggle even more.
• Suggests true accountability: “If you’re getting stressed out by looking at social media, you can stop...You can delete the app from your phone. You literally won’t know what’s happening, you won’t be comparing yourself.”
• Your real life is happening in the present, not online.
  • Encourages “leaving your phone in the other room” to actually experience a movie night or outing with your partner.
• “Intentionality” is key: Choose when to use your phone, don’t default.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We convince ourselves that this is resting. I’m relaxed. I’m in heaven right now. But what my therapist has now pointed out is that we are actually just overstimulating our nervous system and making ourselves more anxious.” (10:23)
• “When you stop pumping your brain with constant stimulation, you give your nervous system a chance to rest.” (12:31)
• “I have never felt more clarity. I feel smarter. I feel happier.” (14:08)
• “Nothing about social media is relaxing...it’s so overstimulating, you’re not actually relaxing.” (13:46)
• “If you’re getting stressed out by looking at social media, you can stop. It’s like a newsletter. If you don’t subscribe, it’s not there.” (21:53)

Listener Advice Segment: Q&A Highlights

Timestamps: 26:29 – ~65:30

Boundary Issues in Relationships

• Q: Boyfriend’s female friend is rude; boyfriend sides with her.
• A: “You need to stick up for your partner. If someone’s being rude to your partner, you need to be championing for them...If he can’t handle the conversation, he is prioritizing this female friendship over you, and that’s not okay.” (28:54)

In-Law Honeymoon Intrusion

• Q: In-laws plan to crash listener’s honeymoon.
• A: “You need to use this opportunity to set boundaries as a united—emphasis on united—marriage front against his family.” (30:54)
• Advice: No negotiation, partner should lead; set clear, non-negotiable boundaries.

Flaky Friend in Social Situations

• Q: Roommate ditches group at bars.
• A: Alex suggests recalibrating expectations and not taking it personally. If disappointment becomes a pattern, own your decisions and don’t let it “f*ck up your night.” (37:14–39:25)

Coping with Infidelity

• Q: Listener’s husband was caught sexting, blames lack of intimacy post-children.
• A: “You need to rebuild trust before you rebuild your sex life with this person. You cannot feel comfortable having sex when you feel so betrayed…There is no reason to ever cheat on someone. Okay? Leave the relationship.” (43:32)
• Urges couples therapy, prioritizes listener’s emotional well-being, calls out selfishness and cowardice in cheating partners.

"Rotting" Out Loud: The Pregnancy Prank

• Q: Listener wants to prank a disrespectful hookup with a fake positive pregnancy test.
• A: Jokingly supports the prank but highlights deeper issue: many women experience disrespectful, even borderline-violative sexual encounters.
• Deeper reflection: “It’s so scary being a woman...and I think a lot of women experience this reality and I don’t think that enough of us talk about it.” (46:30)

When the Relationship Is Over

• Q: Boyfriend has emotionally checked out, barely communicates.
• A: “This man doesn’t like you. He’s out. You’re in. He’s trying to wean you off. You need to move on.” (55:55)
• Encourages listeners to avoid narrative-fantasy about checked-out partners; urges self-respect and honest assessment.

Practical Tips & Challenges to Try

• Silent Task Challenge: Choose one routine chore (cleaning, cooking, etc.) and do it in total silence—let your mind process what comes up.
• Morning Reset: Begin your day with a relaxing activity you love, not your phone.
• Night Routine: No screens an hour before bed; if anxiety strikes, get out of bed, journal or read under dim light (not doom-scroll!).
• Intentionality With Devices: If you can’t watch a whole movie without checking your phone, leave it in another room.

Tone & Style

The episode is raw, intimate, and heavily laced with Alex Cooper’s signature blend of vulnerability, humor, and tough love. She frequently calls herself and her audience out, while also providing empathy and actionable advice. Alex is unfiltered: she’s equally candid about her own flaws and about what women deserve in relationships and daily life.

Summary

“Rotting is Ruining Your Life” is a call to action for millennial and Gen Z women to break the habitual loop of passive screen time and overstimulation that masquerades as rest. Alex Cooper draws from her personal struggles and therapy to encourage her audience to embrace discomfort, be present, and hold themselves accountable for their mental health. The episode delivers not only relatable storytelling but concrete, therapist-vetted tools for greater presence and less anxiety, and a no-BS approach to boundaries in love, friendship, and family.

For full self-care impact: Try a silent chore, reclaim your mornings, intentionally put your phone away—even if it’s “just” for a movie night. And remember: true rest is not found by rotting on the couch.

Additional Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “You’re going to have to just start with recognizing the next time you’re doom scrolling: ‘I’m not actually relaxing right now.’” (13:31)
• “Boundaries are not something you are asking people to do. No, no. I’m asking you to understand that I am doing something and I want you to respect that.” (33:47)
• “When a friend is like that, you need to stop putting so much weight on friends when you’re going out. If they consistently are letting you down, then it’s on you at some point to recognize if you are let down this Saturday night because she does it again, then shame on you.” (39:25)
• “Anyone who is cheated on...there’s not—I know 1% of you as a woman wants to f*ck your husband who just cheated on you. The only reason you’re going to open your legs is for him, so he gets what he needs. What do you need?” (49:55)
• “He doesn’t like you. This man hates you. He doesn’t hate you, but he doesn’t like you.” (56:34)
• “Stop reading smut. Stop watching these shows and—or keep watching them, but remember that reality is nothing like this fantasy, okay?” (58:44)

Episode Flow for Reference

• [01:35] Start of Alex’s monologue on “rotting,” insomnia, overstimulation
• [05:52] Therapist’s insight on overstimulation as avoidance
• [10:23] “Rot culture” and the myth of relaxation
• [11:33] Therapist’s “silent task” challenge
• [14:08] Positive results from unplugging
• [14:53] Detailed “Sunday Reset” routine
• [21:53] Social media as an “active choice” and advice for presence
• [26:29] Listener Q&A (boundaries, in-laws, flaky friends, infidelity, hookup etiquette, relationship endings)

For more advice or to share your story, Alex invites listeners to write in via the Call Her Daddy website.