Call Her Daddy – "Sex After the Honeymoon Stage"

Host: Alex Cooper
Date: September 21, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Alex Cooper delivers a candid, funny, and deeply relatable exploration of how sex and intimacy evolves after the so-called "honeymoon stage" in a relationship. Drawing on personal experiences, stories from friends, and advice from previous podcast guests, Alex demystifies the decline of "just can't-get-enough" sex, normalizes natural ebbs and flows in long-term relationships, and offers practical, actionable guidance for maintaining intimacy and communication amid real-world stressors.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Comparison Trap & Sex Frequency Anxiety (08:50)

• Alex recounts a conversation with friends at different relationship stages: a newly-in-love couple with "insane" daily sex, and a married friend feeling self-conscious about only having sex once a week.
• She stresses that comparison is toxic and can trigger unnecessary insecurity:
  • “It was just hearing that someone else was on a completely different rhythm. It threw her off... when you’re comparing yourself to people, that is going to happen.” (10:40)

2. Honeymoon Phase vs. Real-Life Relationship Sex (12:30)

• In the honeymoon stage, newness and dopamine drive wild, frequent sex; partners are “showing up as the best versions of themselves.”
• Once real life settles in, things slow down—more comfort, less performance, more reality:
  • “You are still shaving before a night out. I don’t know the last time I shaved my legs before a fucking date night with Matt.” (13:50)
  • Sex becomes just "one of many aspects" of the relationship.

3. Normalize the Slowdown (18:00)

• Decline in frequency is “totally okay” and “actually extremely normal.”
• Real-life stress (work, routines) can impact libido; some weeks it’s once, none, or five times, and that’s healthy.
• Alex emphasizes: “That doesn’t mean I’ve fallen out of love and my relationship is doomed. It just means I’m human. Matt’s human.” (20:44)

4. The Importance of Ongoing Communication About Sex (24:00)

• If intimacy drops off entirely, that can be cause for concern—it can signal deeper relationship issues.
• The right way to bring up sex: timing, tone, and turf. Not during an argument or sex itself, but neutrally and with care.
• Example convo starter: “Hey, I just wanted to have a check in about our sex life. Do you still feel connected?...” (26:50)

5. Intentionality & Scheduling Intimacy (32:00)

• Living together can kill spontaneity. Real-world relationships require intention:
  • “It is more than exhilarating... to get ready for a date night when you don’t live together. ... When you’re living together, it’s not the easiest to go from cleaning... to wanting to jump each other’s bones.” (34:30)
• Alex is pro “date night” and setting aside time for connection—not necessarily “putting sex in your Google calendar,” but purposefully creating space for intimacy.

6. Foreplay as an All-Day Practice (36:00)

• Foreplay isn’t just “pre-sex”; it’s about ongoing small gestures, flirting, and care throughout the day.
  • “Foreplay begins at 7am in this household. ... That makes you want to have sex.” (36:19)
• Intimacy can be built through quality time, thoughtful texts, or intentional moments—not just sex acts.

7. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations (40:00)

• Dispels the myth of perpetual “mind-blowing” sex: “No couple is having mind blowing sex every single night. It is not happening. ... People are tired, stressed, hungry, annoyed, had a bad day at work. ... They have nights scrolling TikTok in bed next to each other.” (40:23)
• The goal is not to stay in the honeymoon bubble forever, but to build long-term partnership, communication, and real intimacy—not just hot sex.

8. Personal Accountability & Making the First Move (43:00)

• Emphasizes advocating for what you want, planning your own “sexy” moments for yourself, and fostering your own sexual confidence.
  • “Most of the time, I’m doing it for myself. I’m not even doing it for Matt... I have to get myself in the mood and do things for myself, so I feel sexy.” (44:05)
• Both partners have a role in nurturing intimacy, and you deserve to talk about what you want.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the transition from honeymoon to routine:

  • “You’re supposed to leave your honeymoon fantasy land, right? ... You’re just settling into reality, back to reality, okay?” (16:00)

• On ebb and flow of sex:

  • “There are weeks now where I have sex once... weeks where I don’t have sex at all... weeks that I have sex three to four to five times. It literally just depends on what is going on in my life.” (19:40)

• On tough conversations:

  • “You are not bringing this up in the heat of an argument, Daddy Gang... You also ideally aren’t even bringing this up when you’re in the bedroom... You have to find a time where you are both on neutral ground.” (26:15)

• On scheduling intimacy:

  • “Hear me out. I’m not saying you’re literally putting in your Google calendar, like, ‘sex with Jeremy tonight’... I think what’s important is you need to set aside purposeful time when you’re able to unwind with each other and just connect.” (33:40)

• On social comparison:

  • “Let’s stop comparing our sex lives to what we think other couples are doing, what we see in movies, what we see people online saying. I can promise you: no couple is having mind-blowing sex every single night. It is not fucking happening.” (40:15)

Listener Q&A Highlights

[51:40] STD Disclosure Betrayal in College

• Question: A listener’s college friends seemingly leaked her STD diagnosis. Should she confront them?
• Alex's advice:
  • Consider how close you actually are. Approach them “earnestly,” not accusatorily, to suss out what happened.
  • “If you confront them, I think you could be a little manipulative... college is when you are kind of toxic and manipulative.”
• [See 52:00 – 56:40 for full Q&A]

[59:30] Brother ‘Brainwashed’ by Fiancé’s Political Views

• Question: Sibling worries her brother is adopting his fiancée’s political beliefs.
• Advice:
  • “Unfortunately, your brother is an adult... you kind of can’t change who he is becoming... set the boundary of politics at family dinners.”
• Recommends focusing on neutral activities and not trying to forcibly “bring him back.”

[1:05:10] Sober Partner Catches Boyfriend Lying About Drinking

• Question: Should trust be rebuilt when sober partner repeatedly catches boyfriend drinking?
• Advice:
  • “You don’t forget.” Multiple lies are “a full stop no.” If repeated, it’s “the beginning of the end.”
  • Consider a break for the boyfriend to “take accountability... and become independent on his own.”

[1:10:15] Wedding Party Dilemma: Friend Disapproves of Fiancé

• Question: Should bride kick out a childhood friend who doesn’t support her marriage?
• Advice:
  • Have a direct, honest conversation; if there’s no concrete reason for the disapproval, it’s OK to uninvite her from the wedding party.
  • “I am not willing to sacrifice my happiness in my day because of a feeling that you have about me in my relationship.” (1:13:00)

[1:16:45] No "I Love You" at Four Months

• Question: Boyfriend is communicative, but hasn’t said "I love you."
• Advice:
  • Four months can be early; don’t rush it.
  • “Why don’t you say it first?... If you’re feeling it so deeply... you should feel comfortable to tell him you love him, even if he doesn’t say it back immediately.”

[1:19:55] Difficult Mother-in-Law at Dress Shopping

• Question: Mother-in-law criticizes her body ahead of dress shopping.
• Advice:
  • Go to your fiancé for support first. If he’s not supportive, “get into couples therapy.” Consider having a direct, but diplomatic, conversation with her.
  • “I need to protect my peace and happiness... If you don’t have your future husband backing you on this situation, you are going to either have to concede... or it’s going to be you against this mother in law.”

Tone & Style

• Alex’s language is direct, playful, and peppered with self-deprecating humor, profanity, and raw honesty:

  • “My clit is impenetrable right now. Like, my mind and my clit couldn’t even connect if you fucking tried, but you could try.” (21:06)
  • She frequently breaks the fourth wall, anticipating audience reactions:
    • “I know some of you are probably like, in your house cleaning right now, or you’re at work, and you’re like, alex, I know I need to have this conversation, but I actually would rather die…”

• Delivery alternates between lighthearted storytelling and serious, grounded advice.

Key Takeaways

• It’s normal for sex to decrease after the honeymoon phase. Life, stress, and routine are factors—not an indictment of attraction or love.
• Every couple’s “normal” is unique. Stop comparing yours to others.
• Communication is vital. Have check-ins, create a judgment-free space for talking about sex and intimacy.
• Intimacy = more than sex. It’s about emotional connection, quality time, and ongoing effort from both people.
• Intentionality makes a difference. Plan dates, prioritize flirting, and make time for each other.
• Never settle for ongoing secrecy or lies in a relationship.
• You’re responsible for your own happiness and confidence—express your needs, make the first move, and advocate for yourself.
• Protect your peace. That includes setting boundaries with unsupportive friends and family, especially during big life events.

Useful Timestamps

• 08:50 – The sex comparison trap with friends
• 13:50 – Honeymoon stage humor and real-life shaving confessions
• 18:00 – Accepting the slowdown: normalization and comfort
• 24:00 – Conversations about sex: when and how to bring it up
• 32:00 – Scheduling sex/intimacy; living together realities
• 36:00 – The “foreplay starts at 7am” rule; quality time matters
• 40:00 – Ending the myth of constant, wild sex for couples
• 43:00+ – Listener Q&A: betrayal, family drama, relationship trust, wedding friendship challenges

Final Words

Alex wraps up with encouragement: Intimacy (and sex) are an ongoing project. Perfection isn’t the goal—honesty, adaptability, and intention are. “I love you guys. Go have an orgasm.” (46:00)

For more on intimacy, sex, and real relationship advice, catch full episodes every Wednesday. Join the conversation @callherdaddy.