Calm Parenting Podcast
Host: Kirk Martin
Episode: 22 Ways to Teach Impulse Control & Delayed Gratification (#573)
Date: March 18, 2026

Episode Overview

In this highly practical and candid episode, Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm, shares 22 actionable strategies for teaching children impulse control and delayed gratification. With humor, frankness, and deep empathy for strong-willed and neurodivergent kids, Kirk illustrates why these life skills are more critical than ever—and how parents can intentionally incorporate them into everyday life. Drawing on decades of experience, he weaves together family stories, actionable routines, and the neuroscience behind why impulse control is a “superpower” for kids in today’s instant-gratification world.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Importance of Impulse Control and Delayed Gratification

• Why Focus on This?
  • Kirk argues these “lost skills” are far more influential over long-term health, happiness, and financial stability than academics or chores.
  • Impulse control is especially crucial for kids who are neurodivergent and those growing up with instant access to social media, gaming, and online shopping.
  • “Kids are supposed to be impulsive when they're young… but teaching impulse control and delayed gratification was a huge priority that paid dividends.” (07:03)
  • Kirk stresses that these are learned, practiced skills—not innate traits.
• Risks of Poor Impulse Control
  • Social: Damaged reputations (“being rude, insensitive or unreliable”), broken friendships.
  • Financial: Debt, job instability, get-rich-quick schemes.
  • Mental health: Chronic stress, anxiety, feeling like a ‘passenger’ in life.

22 Practical Strategies (12 covered in this episode)

1. Make It Fun—Use Games Like Freeze

• Play "Freeze Dance" where kids must stop instantly when music stops; this practices the neural pathways needed for self-control.
• “It’s fun. It’s practical.” (14:17)

2. Practice at Red Robin (or with Food/Desirable Objects)

• Example: Tempting fries left intentionally on the plate to resist eating. The goal is to physically practice self-restraint.
• “It was a concrete way of physically practicing impulse control. Those fries were right there in front of us, begging to be eaten.” (15:40)
• Kirk acknowledges: “Your kids aren’t going to like it… You have to just do some of this stuff.” (16:34)

3. Model Self-Control Daily

• “Your most powerful lecture is your example.” (17:02)
• Be mindful of your own reactions, especially when anxious or frustrated.
• Share openly—even admitting struggles can be powerful.

4. Establish Family Traditions & Routines

• Example: Never buy anything at the checkout counter.
• “Traditions tend to be a shared value…Eventually they learn it’s not worth even asking.” (19:09)
• Even as adults, families might stick to these routines for consistency.

5. Practice Waiting (Even If Kids Complain)

• Purposefully insert small waits into routines (e.g., “Wait 43 seconds before you do X”).
• “It’s dorky. It’s awkward…But it’s worth it.” (22:01)
• Have fun—don’t turn everything into a lesson.

6. Wait 24–48 Hours Before Making Purchases

• Institute a rule to “sleep on it” for all major purchases.
• “That desire often goes away...It is an underrated and insanely useful skill to practice.” (23:54)
• Also applies to responding to emotional triggers and disagreements.

7. Read Books—Model & Encourage Reading

• Reading develops natural anticipation: chapters unfold over days and weeks.
• “Because it’s slow. Because there’s anticipation. Because there’s character development.” (25:25)

8. Play Board Games That Require Strategy

• Chess, checkers, Stratego, Monopoly: kids have to wait their turn, think ahead, practice losing and patience.
• “Board games are a great way to teach impulse control and just slow down.” (27:07)

9. Teach Impulse Control with Money and Finances

• Use three buckets: save, give, spend.
• Let kids make money decisions, including mistakes, to learn opportunity cost.
• “Sometimes we allowed him to make suboptimal choices because it was his money and it was better to do that at age 10 than when the stakes are higher.” (28:37)
• Real-life investment stories: Casey started investing at 12, leading to a home down payment 15 years later.

10. Practice Not Buying Things (the Best Buy Story)

• Kirk’s notorious “Best Buy trip” with camp kids: let them choose their dream item, then walk out without purchasing.
• “You just did something really hard. You had something fun in your hands, and you had to put it back without buying it. That’s what impulse control is.” (30:57)

11. Share Your Own ADHD/Impulsivity Experiences

• Kirk models self-disclosure around his own traits; discusses how to channel impulsivity positively.
• “There will always be this temptation to seek intensity in negative ways… It can be a superpower when you have guardrails.” (33:15)

12. Let Impulse Control Become Part of Family DNA

• E.g., no big decisions or hard talks until two days after returning from travel.
• Share stories from other parents—one kid made a “phone jail” to limit distractions.
• “Let your kids listen to this episode… encourage them to come up with better ideas.” (36:56)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Your most powerful lecture is your example.” (17:02)
• “Sometimes you have to practice saying no—and walk away. That’s what impulse control is.” (31:02)
• “This skill will save you thousands and possibly tens of thousands of dollars during the course of your life. This skill will keep you from saying stupid stuff that hurts people you love. This skill will set you apart from your peers and give you a competitive advantage, because that’s all true.” (35:54)
• On family routines: “[If you break the rule,] those little prosecuting attorneys you and I have will remind us of that evidence… to justify them breaking the tradition.” (20:11)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Start of main content (skips ads): 06:01
• Why impulse control matters / Early definitions: 07:00–11:10
• Risks of poor impulse control: 10:10–12:58
• Strategies (#1–#2): 13:49–16:50
• Modelling behavior (#3): 17:01–18:43
• Traditions & checkout rule (#4): 18:44–21:13
• Purposeful waiting (#5): 21:20–22:43
• Sleep on purchases, delayed responses (#6): 23:00–25:04
• Reading for anticipation (#7): 25:10–25:47
• Board games (#8): 27:06–28:10
• Finances & money buckets (#9): 28:19–30:00
• Practicing not buying things/Best Buy story (#10): 30:01–32:41
• ADHD as a superpower (#11): 33:15–35:31
• Family DNA and “phone jail” story (#12): 36:10–37:42

Final Thoughts & Next Steps

• Encouragement: Kirk reiterates that these approaches work—even (especially!) when strong-willed kids roll their eyes or resist.
• Invite kids in: Suggests letting kids listen and invent their own methods for impulse control.
• Teaser: Part two will focus on screens and technology-related impulse control, from toddlers to teens.

“If we can help you, reach out to Casey@CelebrateCalm.com... Thank you for putting time into that. Okay? Love you and we’ll see you next time.” (38:23)

For More Resources

• Website: CelebrateCalm.com
• Email: Casey@CelebrateCalm.com

This summary captures the actionable wisdom, humor, and heartfelt encouragement that define Kirk Martin’s teaching style—essential for parents seeking change with strong-willed, impulsive, or neurodivergent kids.