Loading summary
Transcript5 lines
- [00:01]
A
Hey moms and dads, don't you just.
- [00:03]
B
Love when your child reminds you about a school project at bedtime the night before it's due? With Skylight Calendar you can avoid those last minute oops moments. It visually displays your family schedule in one place with different colors for each family member so you can eliminate those last minute surprises that upset your kids. Skylight Calendar is a WI fi connected digital display that syncs seamlessly with with all your calendars and visually showcases your family schedule on an HD touchscreen. You can manage events, chores and grocery lists on the go with the free Skylight app. This is a game changer for families like ours and your happiness is Skylight's happiness. So if in 120 days you are not 100% thrilled, you can return it for a full refund, no questions asked. This is a great Mother's Day gift. And right now Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch calendars by going to skylightcow.com calm go to skylightcal.com calm for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. That's S-K-Y-L-H-T C A L.com calm.
- [01:21]
C
Okay, it's the week before Christmas and you know what that means. Life is going to be just like it is in the TV specials and in the movies and you're be around like happy families and everybody getting along and your kids are going to love their gifts and be grateful for everything that they have. Well, you know that may not be true, right? For some of you, this is a really hard week coming up because it's a lot of unstructured time and many of your kids really struggle with that, with the loss of the consistency. And there are a lot of cookies and treats and sweets and for some of your kids, that's not awesome. They're going to be staying up late, the schedule is going to be off, some of you are traveling, you're going to be around family that doesn't always understand you. So you're going to be judged, you're going to get those looks like why aren't they disciplining him or her? And there's all these expectations of you, expectations of the holidays, lots of emotion. So I wanted to give you five quick tips that I hope will help you not only survive the holidays, although for some of you, survival not a bad strategy, but I want you to be even able to enjoy them and also create some good memories. So number one, try to keep as many traditions and as much consistency as possible. No matter where you are, try to keep a couple things just the same. No matter whether you're at your sister in law's house, at grandparents house, try to keep certain things, certain routines intact, certain traditions, right? And you maybe, maybe even create some new traditions that hey, when we're on the road or during the holidays, here's something we do. Because traditions are about what you do, not about what you don't do. And they just provide some of that consistency. Number two, take time away from extended family as necessary. And we learned this the hard way too late. We should have done it early on. But what we learned was we needed our own family time. Casey would need at times time to himself away from all the chaos of it. And so give your kids and yourselves some now time, right? Volunteer to go to the store. I love doing that because then you get out away from that gives you some time in the car with your kids. Although for some of you that's harder. So you may go to a park, you might go for long walks, you may go and just do something by yourselves as a family and that's okay, right? Don't feel, don't be afraid to do that. Don't be afraid of being judged by everybody else. Don't be shy about it. It's smart and it's better than being resentful. Look, that's a big thing. Practice that this holiday season. Be assertive about what your family needs. And if your kids need a little bit of time away for 30 minutes, an hour, for three hours afternoon, or if you need a little bit of time away from everybody, don't be afraid to take it. That's way better than sitting there feeling resentful about everybody because you didn't speak up. You know what is best for your family and I want you to be confident in that and take that time. Everybody else is adults and they need to learn how to deal with that and control their own emotions without you being responsible for them. Number three, reset your expectations of yourself, of your kids, of Christmas, of the holidays. It's not supposed to be perfect like in the movies and the commercials. It's not. Things are going to go wrong. We're all flawed people. So I encourage you, practice this because this is good for everyday life. Because everyday life at home is not supposed to be perfect. So learn to roll with it about a little bit. Embrace the imperfection, simplify things, right? And I want you to read the moment when your kids are tired or overstimulated because they're going to be right? So I'd rather you focus on de escalating in those situations than trying to just discipline your kids when everything around them is different and everything is chaos and they're tired. Read the moment and give yourself some grace as a family, as a couple. Right? And give the kids some time to say, you know what, they're just really tired right now. So whether they take a bath right now doesn't matter. Your kids. Look, we're not living in 1742, and I don't even know what that means, but it means if they don't take a bath one night, they're not going to die, okay? From scurvy or from something. They're just going to be gross. And that's what kids are supposed to be anyway. I'm kind of kidding, but also kind of not right. Look, don't try to live up to the expectations of everyone else. And if your kids are just wound up and they're playing with their cousins and everything and they don't get the shower the night before Christmas, who cares what they look like? They're kids. So I want you to relax a little bit. Reset those expectations.
- [06:57]
A
When we moved to our home, we were quoted a cost of over $20,000 for some trees and shrubs. But we just saved 90% with fast growing Trees and they helped us get the exact privacy and flowering trees and shrubs for our specific climate. And it's delivered right to our door in days. Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy customers, including us. They take the hassle out of creating your dream yard. Their alive and thrive guarantees ensures your plants arrive happy and healthy. Plus get support from trained plant experts on call to help you choose and care for the right plants. This spring, Fast Growing Trees has the best deals for your yard, up to half off on select plants. Plus listeners to our show get an additional 15% off their first purchase when using the code Calm at checkout. That's an additional 15% off at fast growing trees.com using the code CALM fast growing trees.com calm offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. So Mrs. Calm told me yesterday. I wish I had begun drinking AG1 sooner. My stomach has felt so much calmer and I'm more regular. My Ag one in the Morning provides some consistency I really crave. And that's one reason I love my AG1. It's an easy, healthy daily routine. No messes, no blenders. We put one scoop of AG1 into a bottle of water Shake it up and start our day with 75 vitamins, probiotics, prebiotics and whole food sourced ingredients. Check out a Special offer@drinkag1.com Calm look, I've got more energy, better mental clarity and AG1 supports my immune health. And that's why I've been partnering with AG1 for so long. Be an AG1 couple like us. AG1 is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift. When you sign up, you'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3 and K and five free travel packs in your first box. So check out drinkag1.com calm to get this offer. That's drinkag1.com calm to start your day.
- [09:24]
C
With a win number four relieve yourself of the burden of trying to make everybody happy. If you want to work on this in the new year, I'll work on this one with you because this will save you so much stress over the course of your life, right? To relieve yourself of the burden of trying to make everyone happy, of trying to control every situation and make sure all the food turns out right and all the gifts are just great and everybody's happy with their gifts, really. Realistically, do you know many 14 and 15 year olds who are really, really super happy with their gifts? Right? I'm just saying reset some of those expectations and relieve yourself of that burden of thinking like, oh, it's going to be perfect and everybody's going to be happy, right? At certain ages kids aren't happy no matter what you do. Is that not true? And so trying to bend over backwards and try to try to create something that's unrealistic and that will never happen, why do it right? And so don't try to control everything else. Let everyone else, including your in laws, your parents, your family, be in control of their own emotions and their own happiness. Let them be responsible for it instead of you trying to be responsible for everyone else's happiness. Because in daily life that's what trips you up, right? You have to manage everybody's emotions. You're managing your kids emotions. Then your spouse gets home and you have to manage his emotions. And I want you to be able to start the new year to say I am not responsible for everybody else's happiness around here because that will wear you down and make you miserable and exhausted and you'll get adrenal fatigue and you'll be miserable and then you'll become resentful and I don't want that. And if you want to give yourself a Christmas gift this year, start to Work on that, right? Of letting go, of controlling every situation, of making sure everybody's happy. I want that for you. Number five, set your strong willed child up for success. Right? So when you're going, if you're going to a relative's house, make sure. Let's ask a grandparent, the aunt or uncle to give your child a very specific mission using your child's particular strengths, right? Set up projects to do with family instead of just hoping everything's going to turn out right, which you know, it isn't. Right. Show them, show that skeptical or judgmental aunt, uncle, grandparent, right? How they can help you and can help your strong willed child instead of just giving you unsolicited advice. That is judgment, right? Because here, here is what would help your strong willed child if when they arrived at the family's house, here's what they heard. Jacob, I'm so glad you're here because I need your help. You're really good at doing X, so could you come in and help me put this together? Could you help me do this in the garage? Right? Could you help me make this? Sarah, we're so glad that our master builder, artist, chef, designer, architect is here. Could you show us how you make, build, create, cook, solve X? Because we'd really like your help. See, I love that. Right? Number one, gives your child's brain something positive and purposeful to focus on to counter all the chaos. Right? And plus, some of your kids sometimes feel the judgment of family or feel different. They don't feel like they're the good kid and it helps them focus on something. It also helps with anxiety a lot. Number two, it uses your child's natural gifts and strengths, right? Which builds confidence. Number three, it helps your child feel helpful like an adult, and they like that. Number four, it gives the grandparents and the relatives a concrete way to connect with your kids over something positive, over something your kids are good at doing and that's not always easy for them. Number five, it helps counter that incessantly annoying but understandable habit family members have of only asking about a child's school performance. Now they get to see your child in a different light and affirm that their unique gifts instead of solely focusing on grades in school, right? Which some of your kids just aren't always great at that. Number six, look, teach your potentially judgmental parents, siblings and relatives why your kids do what they do. I want you to teach them so they understand your child. Give them ways to connect and affirm your child right from the beginning and that's Why I encourage you. I want you. Look, if you have our programs, download them onto the app and you can download them onto your parents, your brother and sister's phones so your relatives can actually listen to this insight and come alongside to support you instead of judging you. And you can even say, look, would you please just listen to the strong willed child program? Just listen to that. Or the ADHD universe. Could you just listen to that? And after you listen to that, then we can have a discussion. Right? Then we would be on the same page and we can talk about it. And I'd love to take advantage of your wisdom because you do have wisdom, but I want you to understand where we're coming from and where our child is coming from. That would help me immensely. Right? So if you need help from us, reach out to Casey at CelebrateCalm. Casey c a s e y celebratecalm.com Tell us about your family. We will help you and we will talk about your situation as a family. We get back to with concrete strategies and tips because that's what we do. We have a Christmas sale on all of our programs. Find that@celebratecolm.com youm can download it immediately. It's really easy on this app right to your phone, your iPad, your computer. So you, your spouse, your parents, your relatives can listen to all of these programs. Because I want you to start the new year calm and confident. I want you to be able to know how to get your kids to be responsible for themselves and build their confidence. So if we can help you in any way, reach out to us. Thank you for listening. Please share this other podcast with other struggling parents. And we do wish you whatever you celebrate. We wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah. We wish you happy holidays. And we want to start this new year off strong. So just let us know how we can support you. Thank you all. Love you. Bye.