← Calm Parenting Podcast
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- [00:01]
Kirk Martin
Hey moms and dads, don't you just.
- [00:03]
Casey Martin
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- [01:21]
Kirk Martin
Did you have grand dreams of homeschooling your children? Making their curriculum fun and interesting, Enjoying a flexible schedule, not getting calls from anymore about your strong willed child? And then you discovered it's really hard. Well, good. That means you're not alone. You should be struggling and we want to help you. That is what we're going to discuss on this first of two special bonus episodes of the Calm Parenting Podcast for Homeschoolers. So welcome. This is Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm. You can find us@celebratecalm.com if you need any help, email our homeschooled son partly because he got kicked out of a Montessori school, right? If you can't make it a Montessori, you have issues because they love everyone. But Casey even struggled there. So his name is Casey C A S e y@celebratecallm.com and if you need some help, just email him. He'll help you out with stuff. So you had these grand dreams of how homeschooling would go, right? No rigid public school classroom or even more rigid private school, right? Teachers and curriculum. Not too many worksheets. You're going to create your own curriculum that's fun and experiential for your kinesthetic learner, right? You let your kids sleep in a little bit and so surely they're going to be grateful for this cool gig that they have outside of that school prison. And then your strong willed child comes reluctantly dragging down the stairs and proceeds to whine and pout and negotiate and resist literally everything you try and you try to reason with him. Nope, not going to work. You threaten to cancel Christmas like the Grinch, but your child doesn't care because he knows you won't do it. And then you bribe him, you cut his schoolwork in half and still more resistance and power struggles. And then you end up yelling at this child that you love and your child feels more exasperated and everybody's frustrated. You feel guilty and at your wit's end. And then you feel resentful because of all the sacrifices you're making. And the least your child could do is be grateful for the fun days you have planned. And you begin to question yourself. Did we make a mistake? What if I can't homeschool this kid as well as the schools can educate them? What have I got myself into? And then there's pressure from your husband. You feel like you have to accomplish a certain amount of work to justify homeschooling. And some of you possibly gave up a well paying job, right, to devote yourself to this. And your hubby's kind of a type a kind of guy and he wants to know how the homeschooling day went and what you got done. And now you feel extra pressure, not to mention the pressure you feel from family who thinks that you're weird, from friends who think right, whose kids are thriving in regular schools and tell you all about it. And even the pressure from yourself and you don't want to admit fail, failure. So some of you, like we did, end up lying and saying it's going really well and you got a lot done. But inside you're torn apart by this. Are you alone? Is this you? Absolutely. You're not alone. We went through this. This is normal for parents of bright, strong willed children who simply just want to explore and be curious or sometimes literally do nothing, but they just don't want to do schooling. Some of these kids are just kids who aren't always good at doing kid things, but they're really good in the adult world. But you've got to get them through childhood. And so you're really going to wrestle with this stuff. So here's some ideas to help you as the parent. And in the next special podcast, I'm going to go over more ideas specifically for your kids. And some of these ideas are going to be weird and unconventional. Make sure you do those because they work best Little side note, I'm going to mainly refer to these situations as the mom staying home, dad having maybe a traditional job. I know that's not all of you. In our home, we did a mix. There were years, especially when Casey got into the teen years, where I was the homeschooling mom. Right. I did more of the homeschooling. So I know it's a mix, but I'm going to address the most common situations. And if you have reverse, just reverse the roles. Just roll with it. So our experience very quickly, we homeschooled for many years, over a decade, and it was hard. And we actually homeschooled other people's kids at times. And I'll refer to this probably more in the next podcast because there were days where I had several kids that I was homeschooling because I got good at this and I was calm with people's kids and they'd pay me anything to take their kids for the day. I'm kidding. But we did this. And then we had, as many of you know, we had these camps in our home where we brought strong willed kids and kids on the spectrum into our home so we could teach them emotional self control, impulse control, how to deal with transitions. And we also taught them a lot about how their brains work, which is what I really want you to focus on with your kids. And we've worked now with over a million families and in the homeschool world, I do a lot of the larger homeschool conventions speak there. So I hope you find this helpful. So, number one, I'm going to go through, I think, 10 things today. Number one, you're going to struggle. You just are. It's normal and it's okay. The strong willed child will not want to do his or her work. Just count on that. Expect pushback almost every single day or every single day. Stop waiting or hoping for your strong willed child to want to do schoolwork and be grateful to you. It's not going to happen until they're like 28 or 33 and then they'll thank you. Number two, you're not doing anything wrong. You are not failing your child or your family. You're a good mom. It's just really hard. So stop blaming yourself. Stop second guessing whether you're qualified to do this because nobody's qualified to do this and yet everybody is because you love your child. You're a smart person and you've got this. You can do it. Number three, you may have to teach each of your children differently right now. Think about it. It's going to be hard, but you're going to have to teach them. Just like how you have to raise them according to the way each of them should go, according to their natural bent, their natural gifts and talents. Some of your kids, some of you have kids who are very compliant and they love school and they're just going to knock everything out. They're going to be done by 11am and then the strong will child is going to still be fighting you over one worksheet at 3pm because you have a child whose brain works in different ways, who absorbs information differently, who's motivated by different things, who learns differently, and they're just different. And it's exhausting. But it's normal. Number four. And this is where I'm going to slow down my talk because this is important. You have to get on the same page as your spouse regarding discipline and your goals for homeschooling, especially for the strong willed child. You're not going to have that many issues with a compliant, neurotypical kid. Usually it's going to be with a strong willed child. You and your husband are going to disagree. You just are. One parent always thinks the other one's being too soft and letting the kids get away with too much. Now that parent who thinks that is the one who doesn't have to spend as much time with a strong willed child who isn't as responsible for every daily activity they think. I'll just put it this way. Husbands in general tend to think, we tend to think that our wives, oh, you're just being too soft. You're letting get away with things. And as I've pointed out in many podcasts, wives usually end up coddling their husbands because they know that we can't handle when there are messes, when their leg was on the floor and the kids didn't get enough stuff done and they've got an attitude. So the poor mom oftentimes is managing a kid's emotions and husband's emotions and that won't work for a long period of time. It doesn't work. So that Faust made like, oh, you just need to be tougher. And of course, usually the wife thinks, well, I wouldn't have to be so soft if you weren't so out of control and you weren't so rigid and harsh with the kids. I'm just trying to protect them. So you've got to hash that out. You can't be at cross purposes, especially when you're homeschooling men. I'll say this to you. If you're listening. You would hate it if you had two foremans or two managers at work who were giving you conflicting directions and goals. It's simply untenable for a mom to have to manage the emotion of the kids all day long, hour after hour, and then have her husband come home and yell at the kids or be grumpy because the house is a mess. And now your wife has to manage your emotions. That will defeat literally everything you are setting about to accomplish with homeschooling your kids. Think about this. If the two adults in the home can't even agree or get along, how can you expect siblings to handle their differences? You can't. So you're going to have to either, in our language, you got to either grow up or you're going to grow apart. If you can't control yourself, how can you expect your kids to? Men, I'll give you a challenge. I want you to go through the calm parenting program together with your wife. I know you don't think you need it and you can't afford it right now, but the truth is you can't afford not to be on the same page. And you can't afford not to understand your strong willed child on a deep level. Because if you don't do that, it will cost you your family. And I'm not being dramatic. I've done this for a long time. This causes issues. And if you get the calm parenting program, which is your wife asked you to get, but you keep balking at it. I only ask men to listen to two programs. There's 13 of them on there. You know your wife's going to devour and listen to them all. Okay, you listen to one that I created just for dads, which is concise and to the point. And one is on understanding your strong willed child. So you do not pull apart or keep pulling apart for this child and getting on him and riding her their whole childhood, you will regret it if you do that. So just. Look, just listen to your wife on some of these things. She's really smart at this and has good instincts. And you two work together. And just for you, because I know that you guys sacrifice in order to, in order to be able to homeschool. We have special pricing for homeschool families. I'll share that.
- [11:48]
Mrs. Kalm
So Mrs. Kalm told me yesterday, I wish I had begun drinking AG1 sooner. My stomach has felt so much calmer.
- [11:55]
Kirk Martin
And I'm more regular.
- [11:57]
Mrs. Kalm
My Ag one in the morning provides some consistency. I really crave. And that's one reason I love my AG1.
- [12:05]
Kirk Martin
It's an easy, healthy daily routine.
- [12:07]
Mrs. Kalm
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- [12:40]
Kirk Martin
When you sign up, you'll get a.
- [12:41]
Mrs. Kalm
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- [14:18]
Kirk Martin
Number five have a backup plan when the day isn't going well. You know those mornings when you wake up and everyone and everything just feels kind of off? Well, listen to your inner voice on those days. Don't try to force it or you'll still be pleading and yelling at 11:45am Guys, I try to make this fun for you and if you can't do this right, I'd rather you recognize that everybody just needs a break. Maybe for a couple hours and maybe for that day. Or maybe it's you. You just don't have patience that day. That's okay. So have a backup plan. Maybe the quick one in the morning is you just turn off the lights, you spread a blanket on the living room floor, and you just lie on the floor and just talk and just be together. Or maybe you go outside and play and have fun and just enjoy your time as a family. And then tomorrow, the next day or the next week, that'd be a fine day to start back again. Look, I'll just be honest with it. Sometimes there were days, sometimes there were weeks where we didn't accomplish anything tangible, but we did learn and explore and be curious during those down times. And we actually enjoyed being together as a family, which is kind of the goal anyway. But I want you to have permission to know that you're not going to ruin your kids. You're not going to be a failure as a homeschooling parent if sometimes you just take a break, because that's called having wisdom and reading the moment, knowing I can try to force this and make it work. Or sometimes I just have my backup plan. So have a few of those backup plans. Now, number six, do not. I say this a little bit in jest, but I do mean it. Do not compare yourself to other homeschoolers because they lie. I'm kind of kidding, right? Because they're in the same boat and they're still falsely comparing their workday to what kids do at regular school. They don't get as much done as they do in school, so they try to justify it by saying, we do X and Y. Don't fall into that trap. Don't do that mindset and find friends who have kids that are way more difficult than yours. It'll make you feel better about your family life. But I do mean that. Don't compare yourself to other homeschoolers, right? Because some of them are like, oh, we get up, we do Latin first thing in the morning, and my kids just love school. School. Well, find the other people that don't. So number seven, do not try to replicate the regular school day. You're going to fall into this trap sometimes, but don't do this. This slowly happens over time. Because, see, there's structure to the regular school day, and that's comforting, and it's the only thing you know to compare to. But get comfortable with the unknowns. Get comfortable with the doubts and the questions. Keep your eyes on the bigger picture. What are you really after? What is the end game here? Here's the goal we had written on our refrigerator in all caps. We want a curious child who loves to learn everything, and I mean everything. Else became secondary to that mission. Is this what we are doing? Is it creating a curious child who loves to learn? And if you want to add that, here's the other kind of guiding principle going off track here a little bit. But it's related to this because I can hear your questions well, but don't they need to learn how to be responsible, follow directions? Throw this one as a bonus. You're just going to have to wrestle with this one yourself. We did not want an obedient child. I don't want a child who's always just good at following directions. I wanted to raise responsible kids. I want our kids to learn how to be responsible. See, you can just follow directions for someone, but a lot of directions you get in life, they're arbitrary and they're not even the right directions to follow. And a lot of cultures, people followed the directions of the authority figures and it led to really bad things. And I don't need, as a parent, I don't need a child to do exactly what I say all the time. I don't need that. I'm a mature person who realizes that they're kids. And my end goal was not to raise a kid who just says, yes ma'am, yes sir. I want to raise kids who are responsible. If you ever reach out to Casey, you will find he is a really responsible young man. Is Casey great at following directions all the time? No. Is he responsible following directions in his job? He's a general manager of a catering company on the side. He's the general manager in a large catering company. He is a ultra responsible manager. He's really good with the people he manages and he's very, very good with the clients that he has. I would never call Casey an obedient person, but I would call him a very responsible leader. That's what we are after with our strong willed kids. I hope that makes sense. You're going to wrestle with that. So here, let's do two of these goals. We want a curious child who loves to learn. Everything else is secondary to that mission. And do we want a child who's always just says always just does the math worksheet when he's supposed to, or do we want an independent child who's able to eventually take ownership of his or her schooling and does it well? They just don't always do it the way we want them to do it. See, that's the difference between being obedient to an authority figure and someone. And I'll throw this in for, look, I can hear the Questions for those of you who are religious, look, you can have someone who's very obedient to scripture. They follow the letter of the law and you've met those people and they're oftentimes very judgmental and not very fun people. Or you can find sometimes people who follow the spirit of the law and they love their neighbor and they're really good at forgiving and they're very good at getting in messy situations with people who are have addictions and they love those people. Do they always follow the letter of the law or are they people who keep their eye on the big picture of hey, our job is to go out and love the unlovable. Our job is to help people out of messy situations. Our higher goal is compassion. Think about those things now. What are you really after? I want a compassionate child. I want a child who recognizes when other people are suffering and he knows how to help those people. Does my son push the limits? Is he always just a right, Is he? Does he? I don't know how to say this the right way because I didn't plan on saying this, but I think it's really important to have your goals for the strong willed child be right. Cayce will do the right thing for people. But does he have an attitude sometimes? Is he an intense person? Absolutely, he is. But I can trust him and his bosses can trust him in any situation to take care of things because he's responsible, he's a leader, he's compassionate. And to this day, even though he did not do a lot of his homeschooling work the way we wanted, he is one of the most curious people I know and he loves to learn. That's what we were after. And if it doesn't line up with these goals, we discarded it. Number eight, understand that you'll never feel like you're doing enough. That nagging thought doesn't go away, especially if you're a mom, because you never feel like you're doing enough. Now I know I said I'll say it again. Not every homeschooling family is a mom who stays home to teach kids where the husband goes to work. And we were even opposite of that for a while. But that's the norm. So here's the typical dynamic which you need to discuss with your spouse. The homeschooling mom experiences constant battles with children all day long. Husband at work has a hard job, but it doesn't involve co workers and employees literally saying no to him all day, crying, whining and throwing themselves on the floor. Being a mom is brutally hard. Homeschooling moms have almost no way to measure success in a concrete way. How do you know if your kids are learning enough, fast enough, or completing enough work? Moms never feel like they're doing enough or doing a good enough job. And it can be a deeply unsatisfying job inside. Plus, she often has to put on the happy face because we're doing the right thing. But that can take its toll. But largely, a lot of our jobs as husbands, there's very clear metrics for accomplishment and success. We get an annual review, we know whether we're doing a good job, we get a raise. There are projects and jobs, and they're completed on time with a due date. There's recognition from others, an internal sense of pride, a performance review, and hopefully a raise at work. Dad's usually using his specific gifts and talents in a field of his choosing because, right, he's an engineer, a project manager, doctor, Laura mechanic, a skilled tradesman, an executive. He's naturally doing, he's naturally good at doing what he does. And that breeds some measure of satisfaction. But no one is born with the gift to homeschool a child who doesn't want to be schooled. Look, even retired trained teachers struggle with a strong willed child. So some homeschooling moms, you gave up a satisfying career to stay home and school the kids. The point is that most of us are unaware how difficult this is daily for moms. So that leads to this number nine. Moms. I want you to take care of yourself and make your own time and needs a priority or you will quickly get consumed under the tidal wave of all of your responsibilities to teach, to cook, to clean, to run your kids to extracurriculars and doctor's appointments. And it can be enormously stressful and you'll find you don't get any time for yourself. And this can make you burn out and feel resentful. So I do want you from early on to establish some of your own independence here, to establish that your time and needs are important. So I call this the 10:47am and 2:19pm rule. And I want you to practice these rules. Now. These are arbitrary times of the day that I made up. But here's the idea. I want you to tell your kids something like this, kids, Every day at 10:47am and 2:19pm These are my times of the day when I want and expect the following. By the way, moms, with a strong willed child, you have to master this even matter of fact, Tone of voice, the really sweet tone of voice. Here's what doesn't work, guys. You know it's really important for mommies to have time, blah blah blah. That sweet asking them, pleading with them tone of voice with a strong willed child just makes you sound weak and they don't respect that voice. And I know that will rub some of you the wrong way because you want to be so sweet. But the strong willed child is going to take advantage of you. The even matter of fact tone says that you're confident that you mean this and that this is important. And it's also a respectful tone because it says I trust that you guys are capable of doing what I ask you to do and respecting my wishes. So guys, these two times a day, these are my times a day when I want and expect the following. I am going to sit and read a book or I'm going to call my mother or talk to a friend for 17 minutes exactly. Now some days I may go to my bedroom and just rest. I may lay on the sofa and read. I may do a devotional, I may do exercise. I may take a quick shower. And during this time you will respect my time and my needs because they're important. Now how do you do that? By being quiet in this house, by not fighting with your siblings, by not yelling or asking me for anything two times a day for a total of 34 minutes. This is what I expect. Now you don't have to say all this to your kids, but this is what I want them to understand. You are doing this because you are respecting me as I respect you all day long. Because this is called self respect. And I want you to learn this skill as you get older so that people respect you and your time. See, my needs are just as important as yours and they are you and your spouse. Your time as a couple is just as important. Your needs as a couple are just as important as the kids needs are. Now I know how it happens in a family. And your kids needs, they're dependent on you. So that's a priority. I get that. But I don't want this to devolve into what happens nowadays where mom runs around and dad runs around trying to do everything for your kids and you do nothing for yourself. That's not healthy. It's not good for your kids. See, and you can tell your kid. You don't have to tell them, but I want them to know this. I don't know if you guys have noticed or I'm sure you've noticed. I pretty much Revolve my entire life and day around feeding you, clothing you, teaching you, take you to play dates, caring for you physically, spiritually, socially, every way. I am obsessed with making sure you have a happy and good childhood, and that takes a lot of work. But this is what I want your kids to know and I want you to internalize. It's never healthy in life to always be giving out to others without taking care of your own physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs. Look for my religious friends. Jesus didn't only give out. He didn't. He frequently retreated into the mountains, away from the crowds of people so he could rest, so he could commune with his own father, and so he could be with his close friends. So I'm going to do the same. And I expect you'll show me the same respect that I show you. And if you want it, if you want. The phrase that I used as a dad because I'm a guy and I tend to make things a lot shorter is, hey, don't mess with my alone time. It's important. That's a really important. Don't mess with it. This is my alone time. Don't mess with it. It's important. Now, caveat, obviously, if you have toddlers and infants, you can't just leave them alone. But I'd still want you to practice taking three minutes, seven minutes, whatever you can for yourself, especially as your kids get older, increase that time. Moms, if you struggle with this, listen to the Straight Talk for Moms program that we have. Download it on the app because we go through a lot for moms, how to break those generational patterns of doing everything for everybody else. Because some of you had a mom who did that and she became resentful. After all I do for you, we don't want that because it'll help you. This program help you with boundaries. Don't be shy. Tell your husband point blank what you need and want. Look, I'm sharing some additional stuff here because you're homeschooling parents and I trust that you're very bright people and I want you to get more out of this. Moms often need to learn how to be assertive. And here's something extra. Talk to your men like men talk to men. I've thought about this lately. You know, I learned how to talk in a way that my wife, a way that a woman wants, hears things better. And I learned how to be more emotionally sensitive. But, you know, sometimes we don't teach wives how to talk to their husbands. And it's also very important for you to talk sometimes like boys like this. Because, see, when I talk to other guys, it's short and sweet. We go right to the point when I'm talking to Casey and when I had to discipline him as a child and even now, sometimes I give him perspective. But it's short and sweet. I tell him pretty plainly. So tell your husband point blank what you need. Don't say, honey, you know, I was really thinking. Guys don't respect that tone of voice, and we don't take you seriously sometimes. So learn to be assertive. And if you want our programs, because we have 13 programs, including a marriage program you can do from home on every different topic, tell them, say, hubby, you got to make our family a priority. You buy your own stuff with technology. You buy all these other things that you want. And I want us to make our family a priority. And we've got to get on the same page with these kids and what we're doing. And so if you want that, you can go to celebratecalm.com homeschool and you'll find it's a lower price than we offer anybody else just to honor you. Number 10 dads, if you're still listening, if I haven't irritated you enough, you've got to be involved. It's simply not going to work if you're always working, always on trips, all the time, leaving your wife to basically raise the kids alone. It just doesn't work, right? And it doesn't work if you're going to escalate situations routinely so she has to manage your emotions, or if you're constantly correcting your kids over things that irritate you instead of building them up. That won't work. So I need you to step up and be the calm, confident leader who brings calm and peace to your home when you walk through the door. I want you to learn how to calm upset kids, to de escalate situations, to give your wife time off. I want you to learn how to do that because it's really, really important. And here's a couple ways you can do that. Do a couple school subjects with your kids in the evening or in the morning before your work so you've got a fresh voice that hasn't been asking your kids to do 47 things that day because your wife's doing this. Kids, eat your breakfast, clear the dishes, brush your teeth, get dressed, get your shoes on, do your worksheets, come inside, leave your brother alone. Stop letting the dog out. Wash your hands, revise that worksheet, get your Math book out. Get ready for lunch. Eat your lunch. Use your napkin. Stop stealing your sister's food. Throw your trash away. Practice piano. Do your reading. Give your sister her doll back. Turn off your screens.
- [32:42]
Mrs. Kalm
Get ready.
- [32:43]
Kirk Martin
We have to go to the doctor's office. Yes, you do have to go. No, you can't stay here alone. Because we're a family, that's why. That's not nice to say to your brother. Put your seatbelt on. Get your shoes on. No, you can't wear that outside. And that only takes you to about noon, right? It's exhausting. But, guys, we get to roll in after work. And I know we're tired, but we've got a fresh voice with our kids. But if you come home and yell, you have no idea how demoralizing that is to your wife and how much that hurts your kids. They need you to be the calm in the storm. So learn how to control yourself. Learn how to control your emotions, and learn how to take this burden off of your wife. And I'll give you a fun one. But don't come home and ask how the homeschooling day went. Hellie. How was it today? Because then she's going to be forced to lie and tell you all the things she did and justify staying home and feel like she's not a failure. Don't put her in that position. Just every day, say, you know what I'm so grateful for? I'm married to an amazing person, and when I go off to work, know that I married this amazing person and my kids are in the best hands of anyone on the planet. And I appreciate what you went through today because it's probably harder than I went through at work. And just say that every day. It'll mean a lot to her. Now, your other job when you come home, besides not making things worse and escalating situations, is this. I want you to come home and give your wife a break for 10 minutes, for 15 minutes, for 30 minutes, for an hour. Here's an easy one. Guys, come home, especially with little kids, grab some loose change out of the car or come in from your home office, right? And some of you with a home office, take. Give your wife a break during the middle of the day. Take your lunch break and take the kids outside. Give her a break during the middle of the day. But if you come home at the end of the day, grab some loose change from your car, walk in, open the front door and yell treasure hunt. And then throw some coins out in the front or backyard because kids love Treasure hunts, even if there's snow on the ground, they'll go out and they'll look for it. And then your wife can lock the front door and she can have 15 minutes of alone time. But at least one night a week, this is your challenge, man. Especially if you want more intimacy with your wife, which you probably do because you're a man. At least one night a week, I have to know what motivates you. At least one night a week, you handle dinner, bath time and bedtime while your wife goes out with one of her friends to just be with another adult and relax. And some of those nights, you know what she's going to do? She's not going to go out with a friend. She's going to go out and sit in a car, just be by herself with no kids, no demands, not anything. She might go to a bookstore, she might go to a coffee shop, she might go get tea, she might go out with a friend. Let her do that. Not only, you know, that's the wrong way to phrase that. Let me correct that and point this out. Let her do that. You don't let her. She's your wife. She's an equal partner with you. It's not letting her do that. It's your honor to take care of your kids. So this bride of yours, your wife, who is laboring all day every day trying to get kids to do 400 things so that she has some time out. Because the truth is, look, I worked in the corporate world for 20 years. I didn't like it all the time, but I was out. I was having conversations with other adults in the lunchroom, around the water cooler. I was joking with the guys. We were giving each other a hard time about each other's sports teams. I had moments in those days that were really awesome. Your wife doesn't have those days. Usually during the day, it's an all day slog. So it's not about letting her. It's about you stepping up and giving her that time, that freedom to go out and just go shop by herself. If she wants, whatever she wants to do, you have to do that for her. It will also, I promise you, make her grateful. It will refresh her and give her more energy for other things that you may want to do. But if you're going to roll into bed every night at 11:30 after watching SportsCenter. Hey, honey, you ready for a little bit of, you know what she's be like? No, I was asleep three hours ago. I'm exhausted. So, dad, here's one other goal when you order the calm parenting package and I know I'm going a little bit hard on this and I usually don't push this much but it will literally, it can literally save your family. And as insight in some of these programs, know how your child's brain works and how the strong willed child works and into motivating your kids. How to discipline the right way on stopping sibling fights, stopping screen fights. There's a marriage program. There's a program just for you dads and the strong will child. She short and sweet and practical. Just do look, just listen that do what I say, you'll be golden. I tell you exactly what to do with your kids and your wife. It's like an instruction manual that men don't read. But read this one, listen to it and listen to your wife's ideas because she's really smart. Go to celebratecallum.com homeschool and if you need additional help, reach out to Casey. Casey C A s e y celebratecolm.com we'll help you out. Please share this with others. Now, we haven't gotten to the kids yet. Why? Because so much of parenting and homeschooling is simply about the parents and I want that to be your focus this coming week. Work on these things this week. Then next week I'll share ideas to help your kids do their schoolwork with less resistance. Thank you for joining us. If we can help you in any way, reach out to us again. Celebratecallum.com homeschool Share this with other people who are struggling with their homeschooling and we hope to see you at a homeschool convention someday. Talk to you soon. Love you all. Bye.