Loading summary
Transcript2 lines
- [00:01]
A
Hey moms and dads. Don't you just love when your child reminds you about a school project at bedtime the night before it's due? With Skylight Calendar you can avoid those last minute oops moments. It visually displays your family schedule in one place with different colors for each family member so you can eliminate those last minute surprises that upset your kids. Skylight Calendar is a WI fi connected digital display that syncs seamlessly with with all your calendars and visually showcases your family schedule on an HD touchscreen. You can manage events, chores and grocery lists on the go with the free Skylight app. This is a game changer for families like ours and your happiness is Skylight's happiness. So if in 120 days you are not 100% thrilled, you can return it for a full refund, no questions asked. This is a great Mother's Day gift. And right now Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch calendars by going to skylightcow.com calm go to skylightcal.com calm for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. That's s K Y L I G H t c a l.com calm.
- [01:21]
B
I remember so many times where I would just lose it, right? It wasn't necessarily that my son did something wrong, right? Or anything like that, but something little would go wrong in the home. Maybe there was a stain on my favorite shirt right now I catastrophe. Great, great. My favorite shirt. Now I'm never going to be able to wear it again. Or there's a stain on the upholstery right in the car and I'll say, great, you know what? Just bought the new car. Now we're going to have to get the whole all the seats torn out or something little right would go wrong and it would just, I would just get so irritated and it's those little things, right? It ruined my sense of order and I would just start catastrophizing and then I start blaming my family for it, right? Just venting all over the place. Catastrophized. It's never going to great. The whole night's ruined. No, we're not going to be able to get a reservation. Nobody's going to be happy. You know, you guys, you know, you guys just be better off without me. And then I would storm out of the house. I'd go to the garage, I go get my car and run errands. I maybe go for a run. And in my wake, I left the family. I left a wife, I left a kid who now had to process that. And they're standing there stunned, scared, right? I left my wife alone. This guy who was supposed to be the stable guy, this good guy who's kind of like the protector, the leader, all these things, is now the unstable one who's blowing everything up in the home, right? And the fact was I was a good guy. I was a good guy. I was pretty good dad, I was good husband, I was good, right? I was responsible with my work. Nobody knew all this stuff. Nobody on the outside knew this stuff about me. It just happened at home, right? With the people that knew me best. And in many ways I held them hostage to my emotions. And I'd be like, I don't have anger issues. Yeah, I did. I had self control issues, right? And. And I left them alone in my wake, having to pick up the pieces and wonder what's he going to be like when he comes back home? Why did that just happen? Why did the whole night just get ruined because one small thing was out of place or didn't go, right? And why did he blame me for that, right? And so they're sitting there stunned with their head spinning. I would come back in a little bit later and apologize, but here was the apo. Hey, honey, I'm sorry about that. I just. A lot of stress at work and I don't know why I did it, but I'm sorry. I'll work on that. And I didn't work on it because I didn't take it seriously. You know why? Because it didn't really affect me. It affected them. I got to run out of the house and feel justified while I'm under a lot of pressure. I'm a good guy. I don't drink and I don't run around. I don't do all those things. But I didn't change myself because it didn't affect me. It was affecting everybody else. But I didn't really see that. I was blind to that. And in many ways, you know what it was? I held my family hostage to my emotions, to my anger, to my lack of self control. And the first and when this really hit me was in the car, right? Someone cut in front of me or someone's going too slow in the fast lane. I'm in a hurry because I've got things to do. And I would start to lose it. And all of a sudden I noticed I'd look over and now I'd see everybody in the car, quiet, tense, holding their breath, wondering what's the next step. He's going to start flipping off other drivers. He's going to try to cut them off. And I held them hostage and they were frozen there, right? And now there's a whole fear. Now I'm feeling ashamed and embarrassed because I'm a grown man who was successful in the corporate world. I've got my own business now. I'm able to handle all these other things, but now simple things go wrong and. And I lose it. And I can't even control myself. And now the two, three, four people around me who know me best are watching me in this moment, right? And that was embarrassing, and I felt shame. So I would justify what, you guys never get upset and then see how that works. And I'm telling for the guys out there, I try to do these podcasts. I try to do very, very helpful ones, right? And I try to make them short so you'll listen to them. Take this seriously. Look, this happens in so many homes, you know, I know because your wives email me or talk to me on the phone. They're like, please, will you talk to my husband? Because I can't get through to him. He just justifies it, or he puts me off, or he dismisses it. Please take it seriously. It will ruin your family life. It will ruin your relationships. It will ruin your marriage. Right? It will. And. And the reason I'm recording this is because this is becoming more common, right? So many people reaching. Could you please talk to my husband for me? You know how hard it is for, especially for many of your wives to come to you and say, honey, I think you've got an anger issue here. I don't have an answer. Well, what about you? Right? See how we do that? Well, we intimidate our wives sometimes, or we get gruff and we grumble so that they don't even come to us in the first place. We're intimidating in that way. And so they don't. So nothing really changes. But behind the scenes, it's not working. And your wife's hurt. She feels lonely, right? And she feels helpless in these situations. Why? Because she's also trying to protect her child or her kids from all of this anger. Because you walk around like, well, our son needs to exhibit some self control. Why does he get upset all the time? Right? And then she's looking at you and she's like, well, this is why, right? Because he's learned it from you. And so there's no blame and no guilt in anything we do. Guys, I don't do blame. I don't do guilt. I'm the same as You. I want my kids to grow up and have self control and be responsible for their own actions. I did all those same things with my own son, but I never really took it seriously myself. And I want you to take it seriously, because it will destroy your life. It will if you don't take it seriously. So I encourage you. Admit this, acknowledge it, go to your wife and say, honey, I've got an issue. I have a problem with this. I blow up over little things and I just lose it, Right? And I know that holds you hostage emotionally, and I know it's exhausting for you, and you're at your wit's end with me, and so I apologize and I'm going to take that seriously now. Whatever you want to do with that. If you want to go see a therapist, good, Go for it. If you want to go through our materials, awesome. Do that. But by all means, take it seriously and do this for not only your wife, not only your kids, but do it for yourself. Because I'm telling you, once you get control of yourself and once you can handle these tough situations, man, your kids, your wife will look at you like you're a hero, and they will respect you. And that's what you want. You want their respect. And right now, you don't have it. And I want you to have that. So if we can help you in any way, reach out to us. My name is Kirk Martin. In case your wife just sent you this podcast, right? She's like, hey, honey, you need to listen to this. It's kirk k I r k@celebratekalm.com you can go to our website, check out our other podcasts, and your wife already knows what our resources are. Some of your wives have our resources, and she's asked you to listen to them, and you haven't done it. And I ask you to take it seriously and listen to it. Listen to. There's a dad's program. It's short and sweet, right? It's from another dad. It's from me. Listen to that and take it seriously. Or get the programs and go through them, because I know she'll appreciate that. If we can help you in any way, let us know. Talk to you soon. Bye.