Egypt's Hidden UFO, Second Sphinx and Wild Coverups with Mark Normand

Summary

Camp Gagnon Podcast Summary

Episode: Egypt's Hidden UFO, Second Sphinx and Wild Coverups (with Mark Normand)
Date: June 9, 2026
Host: Mark Gagnon
Guest: Mark Normand

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Camp Gagnon, Mark Gagnon is joined by comedian Mark Normand for a hilarious but genuinely inquisitive deep-dive into some of history’s greatest enigmas—focusing particularly on mysterious discoveries under Egyptian pyramids, hidden UFO lore, and the conspiracy-laden world of lost civilizations. The conversation weaves between ancient mysteries and modern skepticism, exploring compelling theories about underground labyrinths in Egypt, alleged cover-ups, ancient technology, and why so many scientists seem to be disappearing. Along the way, the duo touches on everything from comedic art analysis to wild conspiracy classics, with plenty of quick-witted banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recent UFO Files & Public Apathy

• [02:25] Trump’s release of classified UFO files provoked surprisingly little public reaction.
  • “It’s funny how the world, the country doesn’t care.” — Mark Normand [02:28]
• Discussion on how unremarkable or blurry UFO footage fails to captivate widespread attention.
• Mark Normand jokes about needing a juicy scandal (“Clinton to have had sex with an alien”) to get Americans interested [02:52].
• Craving a tangible event: Americans need more than ambiguous “tic tac” videos to care.
  • “If they just come here and they’re chill, it’s not gonna do it.” — Mark Normand [03:05]

2. Cold War UFO Incidents

• [03:12] Host describes a Cold War-era intelligence report about a UAP sighted over a Soviet test range in Kazakhstan, showing the phenomenon is global, not US-only.
• UAP files often cryptic, lack definitive evidence; generate more curiosity than answers.

3. Social & Political Commentary via UFOs

• Mark Normand’s observation: aliens could finally unite humanity by giving us a common “other” to hate [04:25].

4. The Lost Egyptian Labyrinth & Subterranean Mysteries

• [07:09 ~ 15:20] Host details a long-suppressed labyrinth beneath Egypt—described by ancient Greeks and rediscovered in scans near the Bent Pyramid (Hawara).

• Herodotus chronicled it as a maze with “1500 rooms above ground, 1500 below” [08:20].

  • “It’s just crazy looking.” — Mark Normand [08:42]

• 2008 Mataha Expedition ground-penetrating radar: confirmed extensive underground structures [10:32].

• 2015 satellite scans revealed a 40 meter long, metallic “tic tac”-shaped object beneath the labyrinth—mirroring shapes seen in contemporary US Navy UFO videos [13:15].

  “They scan it and they see the giant tic tac thing…” — Mark Gagnon [13:18]
  “So you’re connecting these things?” — Mark Normand [15:52]

5. Conspiracy or Archaeological Gatekeeping?

• Egyptian Supreme Council of Antiquities first welcomed independent teams, then swiftly restricted access and blacklisted certain researchers after these findings [17:04].
• Theories on the Tic Tac:
  • Could be a boat (like the Khufu sunboat), a mineralized chamber, or an actual UFO relic.
  • Mark Normand leans boat: “Probably I would go boat. Yeah, but you want to go alien, just for fun.” [27:15]

6. Pyramids as Ancient Power Plants

• [32:01 ~ 38:51] Introduction to the Great Pyramid Power Plant theory (Christopher Dunn; see The Giza Power Plant, 1998).

• Pyramid might have converted Earth’s vibrations into usable energy, with the King’s Chamber as the “power center.”

• Tesla connection: Nikola Tesla’s lost dream of wireless energy—possible inspiration from ancient pyramids.

• Mainstream scholarship dismisses this as pseudoscience; but physical anomalies (salt residues, scorch marks, no mummies found) fuel speculation.

  “Who pours that many resources into a structure that did nothing?” — Mark Gagnon [34:11]

7. The Baghdad Battery & Ancient Technology

• Description of ancient clay pots (Baghdad Battery) with copper and iron found to generate a volt of electricity [38:53], possibly used to awe visitors with “divine” power.

  “I would respect televangelists more if they just tased people.” — Mark Normand [41:02]

8. Occult Texts & the Emerald Tablets

• The duality between real (medieval alchemical) Emerald Tablet and the much-cited 1930s Emerald Tablets of Toth (written by a Denver cult leader) [46:03].
• The real tablet traces to medieval Arabic alchemy—Isaac Newton translated it—while the outlandish “Atlantean” version is more modern myth.
  • “Most cult leaders are [bullshit artists].” — Mark Normand [48:34]
• Discussion on Newton’s spy life, his theology, and occult interests.

9. Art, Religion, and Hidden Messages

• Analysis of Van Gogh’s Café Terrace at Night and its secret Last Supper symbolism [54:52].
• Discussion on the artistic tradition of hiding sexual or mythological symbols in Gothic church carvings (e.g., the Sheila-na-gig) [57:49].

10. Architectural Nostalgia & Changing Aesthetics

• Commentary on how people romanticize older architecture, even if it was considered shoddy when built [64:47].
• Pizza Hut effect: Modern buildings are generic boxes; former commercial spaces are easily repurposed.
• “Maybe in 200 years people look back at our McMansions and think it’s quaint.” — Mark Gagnon [65:10]

11. Modern Conspiracies: Disappearing Scientists

• [67:12 ~ 76:51] Reports of an unusual cluster of American (and Chinese) scientists vanishing (2022–2026).

• Notably, two high-profile disappearances remain unresolved:

  • Monica Reza, metallurgist, vanished while hiking. Only her visor was found.
  • Neil McCasland, retired Air Force general with access to secret UFO programs, disappeared days after major government disclosure announcements.

• Ties to prominent UFO disclosure activists (Tom DeLonge, John Podesta email leaks), increasing mystery [74:41].

• Some cases (Los Alamos admin) have plausible explanations, others are open-ended.

  “I think we got some UFO cooking. I think these guys know too much.” — Mark Normand [77:04]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On UFOs and American culture:

  Mark Normand [02:47]: “We need something tangible. American. We want a scandal… Like you need Clinton to have had sex with an alien.”

• On ancient mysteries:

  Mark Gagnon [07:09]: “Beneath the Egyptian desert… two Greek historians said this labyrinth was older than the pyramids.”

• On Egyptian authorities:

  Mark Gagnon [17:04]: “…immediately after the disclosure … restricted access completely.”

• On conspiracies and evidence:

  Mark Normand [19:03]: “But my thing is, if you believe that, let us prove it.”

• On why people love conspiracy theories:

  Mark Normand [29:29]: “…the key is not giving them the answer. And that’s what this is. We have no answer. We’ll probably never have an answer. So our brains are going to go all over the place.”

• On ancient tech as political theater:

  Mark Normand [40:38]: “So they were just tricking the other guy by saying, we know God over here.”

• On art and symbolism:

  Mark Normand [55:32]: “Count how many patrons, not including the waiter… 12 disciples. And one is walking away. And that is Judas. Wow!”

• On missing scientists:

  Mark Normand [77:04]: “I think we got some UFO cooking. I think these guys know too much.”

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic/Content | | ------------- | ----------------------------------------------- | | 02:25 | UFO files released, lack of public interest | | 07:09 | Introduction to the hidden Egyptian labyrinth | | 13:15 | Discovery of underground “tic tac” metallic object | | 17:04 | Egyptian government restricts access to site | | 27:15 | Weighing “boat” vs. “UFO” theory | | 32:05 | Pyramid as ancient power plant theory | | 38:53 | Baghdad Battery and ancient electricity | | 46:03 | Emerald Tablets: Occult vs. sci-fi origins | | 54:52 | Van Gogh's hidden Last Supper | | 67:12 | List of missing scientists 2022–2026 | | 74:41 | Tom DeLonge & Neil McCasland connection | | 77:04 | Mark Normand’s thoughts on the scientist disappearances & UFO coverup | | 78:06 | Mark Normand’s take on aliens |

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Flow & Tone

• The episode mixes researched storytelling with Normand’s irreverent, observational humor.
• Tone toggles between awe at history/conspiracy, playful skepticism, and spontaneous comedic tangents.
• The hosts make space for listener questions, references to previous episodes, and even address user comments about occult lore.

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Conclusion

This episode is a rollicking, inquisitive journey through ancient Egypt’s greatest unsolved mysteries—with a comedic twist. While the wild claims about underground UFOs and pyramid power plants remain speculative, Gagnon and Normand’s banter keeps the conversation grounded, challenging dogma (both mainstream and conspiratorial) while celebrating humanity’s unending curiosity. For those fascinated by secret history, ancient tech, or just a great comedic riff on wild theories, this is a quintessential Camp Gagnon episode.

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Where to find Mark Normand:

• Human Trials (YouTube)
• Page to Stage, Markumentary
• Netflix special: Soup to Nuts
• YouTube specials: None Too Pleased, Out to Lunch
• Podcast: Tuesdays with Stories

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Listen to Camp Gagnon for more explorations at the intersection of ancient mystery, modern myth, and high-concept comedy.

Transcript

[Mark Normand]

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[Podcast Host]

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[Mark Normand]

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[Podcast Host]

See you this summer. So good, so good, so good. New markdowns up to 70% off are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Stock up and save big on shoes, tops, dresses, accessories and more must haves for summer. Join the nordiclub to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. A few weeks ago, I told you about some weird scans underneath the pyramids. And somehow this story has gotten weirder. Underneath the pyramids, there perhaps is a massive underground labyrinth in the middle of Egypt. And modern scans suggest that something metallic is buried deep inside of it. And the object that the scans have picked up is mysterious. And it looks almost like the tic tac shape that has come from recent UFO footage released by the United States government. And today, we're going even deeper. We're talking newly released UFO files, ancient Egyptian mysteries, hidden chambers under the desert, Nikola Tesla's lost dream of wireless energy, the power plant, theory of the pyramids, mysterious ancient batteries, Atlantis, occult texts like the Emerald Tablets of Toth, even the possibility that history is hiding more than we maybe ever knew. And in order to help us out and dive deeper into this, well, great news. I have one of the funniest comedians in the planet and a great friend of mine, the one and only Mark Norman. And don't worry, we're going to jump into everything. We're even going through questions from the last time that we talked about this. So if you are into buried labyrinths, UFOs, ancient power plants, lost civilizations, and you want to do it with one of the funniest comedians on the planet, or you're in the right place. So sit back, relax, and welcome to Camp. Mark Normand.

[Mark Normand]

Hey. Hey. Going to be back in the hut?

[Podcast Host]

Yes, we're back in the tent, baby.

[Mark Normand]

How are you? Good. It feels like we're going to kill some Native Americans.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. No, no, no. We're actually giving him a casino today.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Podcast Host]

Have you seen Trump dropping these files?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. What's up with that? It's funny how the world, the country doesn't care.

[Podcast Host]

It's. That's bizarre.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

Like, we've done an episode on this, and I want to kind of get your take, but he puts out all these files, and people kind of go through them and they're looking at the videos, and no one really. On the one hand, it's like, weird footage, but it's also not that clear. So everyone's just kind of like, all right, right.

[Mark Normand]

We need something tangible that, well, American. We want a scandal. That's the only way to get any buzz. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, you need Clinton to have had sex with an alien. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like, whoa.

[Podcast Host]

All right, we got something.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. We need the alien to be. Play a movie like Odyssey. Then we're like, what the. You know. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

If they just come here and they're chill, it's not going to do it.

[Mark Normand]

Not going to do it. Well, if we try to throw them out with ice, then. Then we'll get some buzz. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And there were a couple files that

[Mark Normand]

were a little weird.

[Podcast Host]

So there was this. This Siri Shagan intelligence report from the Cold War that apparently there's a UAP over Soviet weapons testing range in Kazakhstan. And it. It was compelling because it broadened the phenomenon beyond just American airspace. And now you have people in other countries doing it and. And reporting on it. And then the CIA kind of just like took a, you know, sort of a report on it and then just put. File it away for years.

[Mark Normand]

Weird.

[Podcast Host]

And then they just put it out and they're like, yeah, we don't know what this is. Whoa. There's just dozens of these kinds of things where it's like, I'm not. Like, I'm not one of these people that's like, dude, there's definitely aliens in the water. But there is a part of me, it's just like, what is going on, first off? And secondly, why are they doing it like this?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. And why just. Why not just come out with it? Why is it. So you get a little. A snippet here, snippet there. Do we have a photo, a clear photo of the guys? Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, there's a couple. Like, if you go to the very bottom of the Do Christos, there's one called infrared sensor footage, and it's this infrared video basically showing an object. And it's one of the most, like, visually compelling pieces in all the files because it combines, like, this unresolved thing that people see with, like, military sensor data.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And they just released it in there.

[Mark Normand]

I think we, the government, should go more in aliens because we all hate each other. It's like men versus women, black versus white, rich versus poor. Get the aliens in here so we can all hate them.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

And like each other for being in the same human race.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly. Yes. It would be nice to, like, see my black friends being racist aliens.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly.

[Podcast Host]

See how fun it is?

[Mark Normand]

Right, Right. Pull them over. Pull the spaceship over. Exactly. Yeah, that's true. We're wasting this because I know they want to Stoke Division. Yeah. So they're not going to get the aliens in there, because then we'll all come together.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, exactly. We'll still probably find a way to be divided.

[Mark Normand]

That's true. Somebody's going to blow an alien. They go, you're an alien lover. You make me sick. You're out of the family. Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Now, creatures, I sent you the doc. And at the bottom of the dock, there's that file. It's. It's called Daw UAP P R O 5 2.

[Mark Normand]

This doesn't. I keep looking at this like it's gonna show like a rogue. Oh, it does work. Okay, here we go. All right, J O.

[Podcast Host]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

There.

[Podcast Host]

There they are.

[Mark Normand]

Damn. You see? This is not good enough for us. That's right. Yeah. And this is a generation that watched Scramble.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, you could still get a nut after this, I think.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. But this looks. This looks like sperm or something going through. It's not. This is nothing. This is not going to do it for the American people.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, but, like, it's. It's simultaneously both things. It's not enough. Yeah. But it's also enough for me to be, like, true. What is it?

[Mark Normand]

Definitely. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And I don't know. It's just a bizarre thing. And it's also crazy me. It's the US Government. How do they not have a better camera?

[Mark Normand]

I know, I know. That's true. Now, are we. Are we above water here? Is this like the Atlantic? Okay. Interesting.

[Podcast Host]

If you click and zoom out of the video, I can read you sort of the transcript on the side. March 6, 2026. Eight members of the House request access to all these things, and then this one is uploaded. This video from a classified network in June 2024.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. Yeah, it is.

[Podcast Host]

Arrow says that this video, who the uploader defined as UAP USO formation, is likely derived from the infrared sensor aboard a US military platform. And that's all the information they give.

[Mark Normand]

Got it. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So it's all, like, very cryptic and very strange.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Interesting. Now, has anyone died because these scientists keep dying?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, we're going to get to that.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, great.

[Podcast Host]

We're going to get to all that.

[Mark Normand]

Don't worry.

[Podcast Host]

But there's another episode that we did recently that really cracked off and the whole. All the comments had all sorts of like crazy stuff, but it's specifically regarding this pyramid that's in Egypt that is connected to. Not these files directly, but connected to UFO lore.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

This is a wild theory. It's out there.

[Mark Normand]

I can't wait.

[Podcast Host]

We're going to kind of go through like with the less wild stuff and then we're going to get to the crazy shit.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Podcast Host]

But basically beneath the Egyptian desert, 80, like 80 kilometers south of Cairo. So obviously in Cairo you have pyramids of Giza, the big three ones, not Gaza Giza. And they have a. This giant ancient structure that's built right near the pyramids that two Greek historians said when they went down there back in antiquity, they said that this structure, this labyrinth was older than the pyramids. And then it vanished for 2,000 years. And then modern scans found it again. Whoa. And what they found inside the labyrinth was kind of weird. So you have this labyrinth at. That's at next to the pyramid of Amenhetat. Iii.

[Mark Normand]

Wait, so they went in there?

[Podcast Host]

Well, kind of.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, kind of.

[Podcast Host]

They, they did a scan of it and they're not really able to get in there for reasons that are not disclosed. Are you able to pull up a picture of the Bent Pyramid? It's a pretty unimpressive looking pyramid. Okay, you're gonna see why they call it the Bent one in a sec.

[Mark Normand]

Got it.

[Podcast Host]

But it was described firsthand by this Greek historian Herodotus in 450. And he went down there and he's hanging with like the priests and they're telling him about this massive labyrinth. So it's built like basically right south and then underground of this pyramid here.

[Mark Normand]

Gotcha.

[Podcast Host]

And if you pull up a picture of the scans of what the labyrinth look like, it's crazy. So he described as like thousands of rooms, this massive maze. And he said there was like 1500 rooms above ground, 1500 rooms below ground.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And it's just crazy looking. And so if you click on that recreation right there on the right. Yeah, that one. That's what they describe it as.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

And then they say that there's just as much of the labyrinth, if not more 300ft underground.

[Mark Normand]

Oh my God.

[Podcast Host]

So it's just crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. And you want to go, oh, maybe that's just their city, but the earth has built up over it. But it's under the pyramid.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So you can't say that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. There's a top part and a bottom part.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

And when these historians are going down there, they're just. Yeah, they're verse. Yeah. And the. These historians are going down there. The carot. This is like, what is this? And they're like, oh, this is a maze. This is a labyrinth. We built this as, like, this, you know, sort of, like, spiritual sort of place where you can wander in and out of.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And if you don't know the way, you can get trapped.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And, like, people could die in there. And then it gets documented again in the year zero by this historian called Strabo and then another guy named Pliny the Elder. These are all, like, ancient sources that all go to Egypt from Greece. And they're like, show me the crazy. And they're like, this is the craziest thing now.

[Mark Normand]

Can we get, like, a little drone down there, one of those Amazon guys rolls around?

[Podcast Host]

You absolutely could, but they're not letting us.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting.

[Podcast Host]

Now, this is what I was saying. Herod is. Has these two levels, one above, one below. 3,000 rooms in total. And according to the priest that he was talking to at the time, this is like 450 BC. They said that this labyrinth was older than the pyramids.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And then it gets discovered at, like, the late 1800s, where this researcher goes down there and he finds, basically, the top. So what they. The story that they kind of believed in the, like, 1800s was all of the walls of the labyrinth got stripped down by the Romans to make roads and build other buildings. So the whole thing was destroyed.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So he's walking around on the top part, and he's like, oh, this is the foundation of the labyrinth, but everything else is gone.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And then they thought the case was closed. And then in 2008, a Belgian Egyptian team called the Mataha Expedition runs ground penetrating radar.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And this is the kind of stuff that, like, they'll do, like, through the Amazon to find, like, an old temple or a pyramid or hot women. I don't know exactly what they're doing, but they're taking these radars and they're going through the Amazon to find stuff.

[Mark Normand]

God, it's like a stud finder, basically. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And the team goes down there and then they find this massive, what they call subsurface anomalies. These elongated, like, squares and, like, triangles and, you know, basically a labyrinth with all these rooms and corridors and stuff. Can you pull up a picture of the scans?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

The scans are Weird looking. And you look at it, you're like, oh, there's obviously something down there.

[Mark Normand]

This information is just available to people. Yeah. Oh my God.

[Podcast Host]

Isn't that crazy? Like it's all published and they report vertical walls several meters thick, forming nearly entirely closed rooms at depths of 8 to 12 meters, spanning acres.

[Mark Normand]

Hmm.

[Podcast Host]

And the structure beneath Hawara is very real and academically acknowledged. That's not even a conspiracy. There's even an entire UK government, government funded conservation project on the site.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. Looks like microbiomes or ecosystem.

[Podcast Host]

Can you go to Google Images and search Hawara scan? There's another scan that comes a little bit later that shows like a little more clearly the coli or something. The one on the left.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

So this is buried under the ground next to the pyramid where like you see all these rooms and stuff and they're like, what is this?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

What were they using it for? And according to the ancient sources that corroborated, they're like, oh, it's just a labyrinth above and below.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Did people live in there? Was it a hiding place?

[Podcast Host]

During the war, Herodotus asked to go into the lower labyrinth.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And they said, we'll take you around the top part, but we're not going to take you below because they buried pharaohs and they said that the pharaohs were buried there as well as crocodiles that they worshiped.

[Mark Normand]

Got it.

[Podcast Host]

And that like they literally like had like crocodile worship at the time. And they even had a town called Crocodilopolis. Really, like the Greeks called. Isn't that how you pronounce it? Christos. Almost exactly what you would say to a Greek person. Crocodiles.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I know a guy. That was his last hand.

[Mark Normand]

Is that where they invented the shoe?

[Podcast Host]

Exactly. And it's just a town where like they just worship crocodiles. And so they had like these sacred crocodiles buried underneath there.

[Mark Normand]

All right. So they won't let them for religious reasons.

[Podcast Host]

That was their story 450 years ago.

[Mark Normand]

Got it.

[Podcast Host]

But this is ancient, ancient Greece.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And so then in 2015, a UK satellite scanning company runs a satellite scan of the entire region again now with better radar. And they describe a 40 meter long metallic tic tac shaped object sitting in a central hall that he believed was like purposely built to house this object.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. Like a shrine, something.

[Podcast Host]

They scan it and they see the giant tic tac thing and these, we're

[Mark Normand]

talking like the tic tac toe or the, the mint.

[Podcast Host]

Like the mint.

[Mark Normand]

Got it.

[Podcast Host]

So it's like this sort of like elongated, like cigar shaped thing. It's like super. It's like dozens of feet long.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And just underground. And the satellite signature read it as metallic. Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

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[Mark Normand]

Oh, weird.

[Podcast Host]

And they're like, what is this thing? Why is there a metallic giant structure underground? It's not stone, it's not mud. It's nothing like that. Now that brings us to this, this video.

[Mark Normand]

Is that the Tic Tac?

[Podcast Host]

So this is a different Tic Tac. Ah, so there's a famous. This is why it connects to the UFO stuff. So they, they didn't know what it was. This tic tac thing that's underneath this, this pyramid in this labyrinth. It's just like the craziest story ever. Like, this is so weird. They nickname it Dippy because they said it like resembled like a, like a tic Tac mint or like a disc or something. And the story goes crazy because Ben van Kirkwick goes on Rogan's pod and Ben is like his uncharted X. He's like this great YouTuber that like does, you know, all sorts of like historical research and stuff. And he was like, it might be a ufo. This is what Ben says. And so now we're, now we're off

[Mark Normand]

to the races, right? Anyone else? Hard. This is getting good.

[Podcast Host]

Because now you're like, dude, wait, there's a, there's a UFO into the pyramid. This is crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Podcast Host]

And so the reason why people connected back to the UFO stuff is that there's a US Navy UAP footage that's released and it's one of like the most famous like videos ever. And it's of this tic Tac shape. Thing that's flying at this unbelievable speed, doing all these weird configurations. You can find the actual video of it. I think it's from the USS Nimitz.

[Mark Normand]

So you're connecting these things?

[Podcast Host]

Well, not me, but someone.

[Mark Normand]

Someone out there, it seems pretty good.

[Podcast Host]

And they're saying, like, hey, there's this undisclosed or, like, unclassified flying thing that the US Government captured off the coast of California of this tic Tac shaped craft that we don't know what it is. It might be Russian, it might be, you know, Chinese. It might be our tech. It might be a ufo. Who knows? And then all of a sudden, they're doing scans under the pyramids and they find a similarly shaped object under one of the pyramids. All of a sudden, people are looking at it like, what's going on?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Well, now we got to go down there, right? This is crazy.

[Podcast Host]

It's insane.

[Mark Normand]

Fuck the crocodiles. We're going down there. Yeah, right. Yeah. This is crazy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. We need to do a comedy festival in Egypt.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Get Mr. Beast over there. Do a whole show in the tunnels. Yeah. Or some Jews. They'll dig the. They'll dig the hell out of that. They're the best at it. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And just give them a finder's fee.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Or something. Let them lease it out. Who knows?

[Mark Normand]

There you go. We need housing.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So it's a. It's a whole theory that kind of goes around, and everyone's like, okay, well, what is actually underneath here?

[Mark Normand]

Now, this is fascinating. It's.

[Podcast Host]

It's the craziest thing ever.

[Mark Normand]

I feel like I'm listening to the pod. I love it. This is great.

[Podcast Host]

So now there is. It's weird because the. The governing body that controls who can go into this stuff is the Supreme Council of Antiquities. And they were initially, like, supportive. They're like, oh, this independent team found a cool thing. Like, this is great. And then they. Immediately after the disclosure and the publication of this thing, they restricted public access to the site completely. They kind of just, like, corned it off. And then it's also claimed that the guy that did that scan was blacklisted by the Ministry of Antiquities after presenting that original scan in 2008. Whoa. Now, there are a couple different theories as to what's going on here. Theory one is that because of the dam that was built in Egypt on the Nile, the Aswan Dam, this whole region south of Cairo became a flood zone.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

So it got super flooded. So the Egyptian government goes, we're not going to be able to go in here because it's all flooded. The whole thing is, is covered in water. So all this whole underground labyrinth is just filled to the brim with water.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

So in order to go down there, you'd have to drain out all the water. It would be super expensive. It could damage what's down there now. So we're just not going to do anything.

[Mark Normand]

You believe this guy or is he just full of.

[Podcast Host]

Well, he's been accused a ton of kind of disrupting research and evidence into Egyptian antiquities.

[Mark Normand]

All right. I don't like this guy.

[Podcast Host]

This guy is Zahi Hawass and he's like the guy that basically gatekeeps all the exploration into all these old Egyptian artifacts. And there's all this like, politics around it where he's basically preserving like the Egyptian legacy and the heritage of the Egyptian people. Got it from other people that go in there trying to claim that the Egyptians didn't build anything. It was actually aliens. So he's like, I'm not going to let you guys come in here and embarrass my whole country with your little investigation. I'm going to defend it.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa, what's he defending?

[Podcast Host]

He's defending. I mean, it depends.

[Mark Normand]

You ask that it's built by Egyptians.

[Podcast Host]

This is a regular Egyptian monument by the Egyptian people. It's the heart and soul of our nation.

[Mark Normand]

But my thing is, if you believe that, let us, let us prove it. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Pop down there.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Also, he's gonna die. So we're, we're not far off.

[Podcast Host]

Bury him with the crocodiles.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly. Put them in a tic Tac coffin.

[Podcast Host]

Now, the theories are because of the flooding, it's possible that the chamber underneath the pyramids in the labyrinth is so full of water.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And it leached all these minerals and materials off the walls. And so maybe it's like super, like calcium rich.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Podcast Host]

And as a result, it's coming up on the signature of the ground penetrating radar as being a metallic shape, when really it's just a sort of oval shaped room full of water. That's super mineral.

[Mark Normand]

That's interesting. It's a good theory. Yeah. Right.

[Podcast Host]

You hear that and you're like, all right. The other issue with all this is that these ground penetrating radars are not really equipped to go this depth. So they're able to like, you know, break through like, you know, 20, 50ft, something like that. But once you're getting to like 100ft underground.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

It starts getting real shaky.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

So it's possible you get a misread.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Podcast Host]

The other option is that it is potentially what they call a. Like a burial or a ceremonial boat. And this is super common with Egyptian funerals, specifically in this period where they would bury royalty with these boats that would symbolize them crossing the river, sticks into the afterlife.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

So you can see them now at the Met if you go there.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. They have, like, all these different boats, like, big ones, little ones that they take out of these pyramids, and you can just go see them. And there's a symbolic burial pieces.

[Mark Normand]

I've seen the little tomb they have there. They have a little. They yanked a full piece of a tomb, and it. They've got graffiti on it from the soldiers.

[Podcast Host]

How crazy.

[Mark Normand]

So cool.

[Podcast Host]

These are soldiers from, like, the 1500s.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly. Roman soldiers, which is just kind of beautiful.

[Podcast Host]

Guys never change.

[Mark Normand]

I know, right? And they said they would shoot the nose off, which I don't know if that's a theory or if that's true, but that feels very real.

[Podcast Host]

Right. We went to this, like, ancient site in Ireland. Here, you keep this on screen for a sec. We went to this ancient site in Ireland called Newgrange. And it's just like, this mound hut that was used by, like, a local religious group. It's, like, kind of lined up with the solstice so the sun comes through. It's a whole cool thing. Yeah, but when we went in there, the guy was like, yeah. So this wasn't a heritage site until, like, the 90s, so there's a lot of graffiti, so just disregard it. Yeah, we're walking through. There's graffiti from, like, 1560.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And it's a penis, of course. And he was like, yeah, back in the day, you know, kids would draw penises. And I was like, how? Back in the day? He's like, yeah, four years ago.

[Mark Normand]

Like, I love it.

[Podcast Host]

How beautiful.

[Mark Normand]

We don't change. Right.

[Podcast Host]

Can you pull up a picture of the Pompeii Penis Museum if you ever go to Italy?

[Mark Normand]

I've done Pompeii.

[Podcast Host]

Did you go to the Penis Museum?

[Mark Normand]

No, I didn't hear about it.

[Podcast Host]

Like, you of all people.

[Mark Normand]

I know. I went to the Pussy Museum.

[Podcast Host]

No, no, no, no. This is like, oh, in Naples they have, like, all of these shrines to just, like, erotic art.

[Mark Normand]

That's great.

[Podcast Host]

Done back in ancient Italy.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, he's banging a goat.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yikes.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, he's Scottish, but, yeah, pretty crazy. Like, just. Guys just love drawing wieners.

[Mark Normand]

We care about the wiener.

[Podcast Host]

And people say, like, oh, why don't they draw vaginas? I Think wieners are funnier?

[Mark Normand]

Of course. Way funnier and easier to draw folds and flaps.

[Podcast Host]

And I'm not saying one's better than the other.

[Mark Normand]

No, I'm not.

[Podcast Host]

I'm not saying one should. And vote. Sure. I'm just saying the penis is a funnier looking thing.

[Mark Normand]

Way funnier. I mean, pull up. What? What's that? Georgia o' Keefe or o'. Queef. She did a bunch of vaginas. That was like, her thing, but. Oh, really? I should have gone to this. I will say I went to Pompeii and they got the guys waiting in the brothel. They got the guy jerking off.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Frozen.

[Podcast Host]

Classic.

[Mark Normand]

That's fun. It's got to suck to be that guy.

[Podcast Host]

What do you think yours would have been?

[Mark Normand]

Ooh, I'd probably be lifting a leg for a fart, maybe. And then I get frozen. Yeah. There she is. It's all clam all day.

[Podcast Host]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

She must have been a big lesbo, I assume.

[Podcast Host]

But now, why? I draw penises, you know? You draw penises?

[Mark Normand]

Same drawing on the cheek of a pastel friend. I've drawn it on walls. I've drawn in bathrooms. Yeah, yeah. So fun to draw that. You put three hairs on the balls, you know. Oh, you got.

[Podcast Host]

You get details.

[Mark Normand]

Shoot the jizz out.

[Podcast Host]

I remember getting older, learning how to do the veins.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it's pretty.

[Mark Normand]

Now, do you go on Cirque or Cirque to Soleil?

[Podcast Host]

I always go unsearched. I got to represent my people.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, you put the hood on it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting.

[Podcast Host]

It's also easier to draw.

[Mark Normand]

That's true.

[Podcast Host]

You know, you just kind of got to shade it a little bit. But that's it.

[Mark Normand]

Right? Right.

[Podcast Host]

What's up, guys? We're going to take a break really quick because I want to tell you a scary story. Yeah. Specifically for the dudes. All right? Imagine you're going out with your wife, okay? You're having some dinner. You know, you get some drinks. The vibes are good. And you go back to your apartment, your house. The lights are low. You got a little Miguel playing on the radio. And all of a sudden you realize your piece is like, yeah, dude, I'm actually good. You're like, wait, what? We're ready to go. And your piece is like, nah, dude, I'm just actually going to sit this out. I mean, you're trying everything. All right? And your wife's just looking at you like, all right, are we going to do this? And you got to be like, Maybe. Maybe tomorrow. Well, this doesn't have to happen anymore because I want to tell you about bluechew Gold. Yes. Because this isn't just about showing up physically and being the man that you are. It's about actually being in the moment. Bluechew Gold's new formula combines ingredients that support blood flow and mental arousal. And that's also going to help blood flow flow to your brain. You're probably thinking of funny lines, you know what I mean? Being. Being cool off the cuff. It's not just performance, it's connection. All right? And now you're not overthinking, you're not stressed. You're just there and able to be you. Now, if this is a tablet that dissolves under your tongue and it's really simple and discreet and you can just put it in your wallet or something, that way you are always ready to go. And ladies, if you're listening, send your man the link. Turn him into a trophy husband. Keep him in the house. You know what I mean? A stay at home house husband. That's what you want, right? Give it to him and let him lay it down. All right? No awkward timing, no weird pressure. Just the confidence you really want. So discover your options right [e-mail] and we got a special deal for the listeners of this program. Yes. If you were hearing my voice right now. When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you're gonna get a third free with the promo code Gagnon. That's right, the promo code. GAGNON. G A G N O N. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring this podcast and making this show possible. Now let's get back to it. Now those. Those are the two theories that potentially it is a, a boat that's underneath the labyrinth. So if you look up the. I think it's the Khufu sunboat is specifically 130 foot boat that was buried under a pyramid.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

So people go, oh, well, you. If it's a tic tac shaped thing, it could just be like an oval.

[Mark Normand]

Right?

[Podcast Host]

That's a canoe.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

And it's 100ft long. Pretty good chance that it's just a boat.

[Mark Normand]

Were they metallic though? No. Aha.

[Podcast Host]

But it's possible that one of these was adorned in gold.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, true.

[Podcast Host]

You know, like it wouldn't be crazy. I mean, look at this thing. This is a massive boat.

[Mark Normand]

Wow. That's so sophisticated.

[Podcast Host]

It was buried.

[Mark Normand]

Unbelievable.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, this is just. It was just underground because they were like, hey, one of our top dudes, right? Our number one. Our number one legends were burying him with this boat.

[Mark Normand]

It just. They hate to say, but it shows how much you can get done with slaves. I mean, slaves are very helpful. And I think they were Jews. They've got to be the worst slaves.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Not very athletic, complaining.

[Podcast Host]

You think they would have been building this boat? They were like, we should use this. Why don't we build a boat for us?

[Mark Normand]

Let's get the hell out of here, you know? But they were scared.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I guess, man. Just crazy. Look at this thing. It was just buried under the ground.

[Mark Normand]

Unreal.

[Podcast Host]

And so it's possible that they're scanning this thing. This is a gold covered boat that is just now submerged in water because the whole thing's flooded.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And now they're detecting this thing and they go, oh, it's just a boat. Now the third, the third option here is that it is a spacecraft.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Tic tac shaped UFO that came down and told them how to build, you know, how to build stuff, and that's where it is.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Well, I mean, look, these pyramids are so well designed. The science is there, the geometry is there, the architecture is there. It is hard to believe that such primitive people could do that without machinery and technology. So of course you go, yeah, maybe aliens. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You know, but of these three of these three theories, you got the boat theory coming in gold. You got a pit of water full of materials, and then you got a ufo, which was probability wise. Which one?

[Mark Normand]

Probably I would go boat. Yeah, but you want to go alien.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Just for fun. And that's the fun part about not knowing is you get to just go crazy places in your brain.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

It's like when they don't show the monster in the movie. Yeah. You're more scared.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

You know, like, I did this. I had this viral video. This company hit me up like, we want to go viral. Comedy's blowing up right now. Can we go viral? And I was like, all right, I got this idea. I got that idea. They go, nah, that's no good. We'll do this thing where you're on stage and a guy comes on stage and rips you off and we'll fake it. And I was like, okay. They paid me a ton of money. They got cameras everywhere. They put thousands of dollars into this. One guy filmed it in the front row. Like, what's going on here? Posted it, it blew up. So it did go viral, but not the way they wanted. They wanted to go viral. Not this guy.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, wow.

[Mark Normand]

TMZ picked it up, blah, blah, blah. But it was all because it was like, what's up with this? There was no ending. There's no resolution.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

So everybody had a conclusion. Everybody had a theory. My phone was blowing up. My aunt text me, this is it.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

And this one guy went viral in the front row or second row, because he filmed it on his phone. See, look, this guy comes up, and then they take me off. It's the most nothing video that got like 12 million views in. In 10 minutes or something.

[Podcast Host]

Now, you were basically the subject of a conspiracy.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, completely.

[Podcast Host]

And how did you feel? Like, what theories did you see that circulated that you were like, oh, this is absurd?

[Mark Normand]

Well, it's absurd because all it is is you could just make up stuff and people will. Will put their own thoughts behind it and their own hypothesis. And that's the key, is not. Not giving them the answer. And that's what this is. We have no answer. We'll probably never have an answer. So our brains are going to go all over the place.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Creatively. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And in a way, though, was a real conspiracy. This was an inside job created by a company using you. So in a way, it's like, well, some of the theories might have been right. Some guy probably saw it and was like, oh, this is a PR stunt. And that guy was on it, and

[Mark Normand]

that guy was right.

[Podcast Host]

And that. And then for the rest of his life, he's like, dude, I can suss that bullshit.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

And then he's a qanon guy. You know, you send them down.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, remember the lab leak was a big. That was a big no, no subject. And eventually enough people were like, nah, that's what happened. And then we all go, okay, that's what happened. Yeah, but it takes a few guys to step forward and take the brunt of the heat. Yeah. And then we all get on board.

[Podcast Host]

Well, that's what I like about doing this show is that I basically see it as like, the sports center for conspiracy theories.

[Mark Normand]

I love it.

[Podcast Host]

Where it's like, I'm. I'm not one of these people that's like, this is what it is. And there's reptiles. I'm just like, I want to know all the theories.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Because my mom was a conspiracy theorist.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, big time. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Classical conspiracy theory, moon landing, all that. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

She's.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, she wasn't even doing it, like, in cova. She was doing this back in, like, the 80s.

[Mark Normand]

Any good one. Give me a, give me a good theory.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I mean, she's got a bunch. I mean, is it weird as a

[Mark Normand]

kid to hear your mom ranting and raving like Alex Jones?

[Podcast Host]

No. Well, like, she's always like. She's also pretty principled where she's like, she's like, well, you know, 9 11. Like, let's look at some of the stuff. And then she's like, moon landing. Like, they're able to go through the Van Allen radiation belt, but they don't. They can't do it now because the radiation's too much. Like they lost the technology. They filmed over the original tapes of the moon landing. That's really weird. She's like, look at jfk. A magic bullet goes through his head and then his body and then Connelly's shoulder and then into the wrist. This just makes no sense.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, she's like, so this, she's telling me this as a kid going through it. Whoa. Like. And I'm like a classically trained conspiracy theorist.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like some kids learn violin. I was like learning 9 11.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Pretty cool.

[Mark Normand]

Fascinating. I mean, the, the simple ones. I believe, like MLK was killed by the CIA. I'm like, that's 100 probably true. Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, COINTELPRO was a declassified CIA operation where they try to disrupt the black community and arrest them on, you know, trumped up charges and discredit them. That the CIA was doing.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Podcast Host]

And that's like, I don't even. That's not even conspiracy. That's just a thing.

[Mark Normand]

That's the thing. I mean, we all heard the Nixon tapes. He's throwing the N word around. It's a. Oh yeah. A wild. Wild.

[Podcast Host]

And then his like, like the secretary head, I forget his name. John Ehrlichman. He has a crazy quote where he's like, we are going to associate the anti war movement with drugs. We're going to infiltrate the black community with crack.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Podcast Host]

And then we're going to discredit both groups with just this war on drugs.

[Mark Normand]

That's genius. And we do it to this day where we go, this person's a racist. We just flipped it. Yeah. To more progressive ago.

[Podcast Host]

This person.

[Mark Normand]

Racist versus a Nazi. You can't listen to anything they say. And you're like, well, that guy might be right. But it's hard to go with them because I don't be called a Nazi.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark Normand]

And it works. Yeah, it's a good move.

[Podcast Host]

But I like the fun conspiracies. I Don't. Like, sometimes you get in a conspiracy world and people are like, yeah, so the Jews.

[Mark Normand]

And you're like, ah, this is too easy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, come on, tell me more about pyramids and stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Right, right. Yeah, give me the aliens.

[Podcast Host]

So I will. Have you heard the great Pyramid power plant theory?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Podcast Host]

This is a classic. This is awesome. You should get a rabbit hole on this.

[Mark Normand]

Never heard of this.

[Podcast Host]

So basically, the. It's. The mainstream story says that the great Pyramids of Giza, the big ones, you see, those were tombs. That's the story. And most historians accept that. We should be very clear. That is the mainstream sort of thing.

[Mark Normand]

But they're just housing dead pharaohs. Yes. Okay.

[Podcast Host]

But a different group of engineers, researchers, conspiracy theorists perhaps, they argue that it was not a tomb and that they never really found any mummies in any of these pyramids. And the conventional story is like, oh, they were just robbed. They were, you know, stolen. They took all the bodies. And so now that's why. But they, to this day, they've never found a mummy in there.

[Mark Normand]

Really? I thought. I thought we had mummies.

[Podcast Host]

They have mummies, but most of them are found in the Valley of the Kings, not actually in the pyramids, just in a.

[Mark Normand]

Dirt. In a coffin. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, they have like a whole

[Mark Normand]

little other section where they would put a little mausoleum. Yeah, exactly.

[Podcast Host]

But like, in the pyramids, they're like, oh, yeah, these are barrel sites. But I mean, can you fact check me on this? I'm pretty sure there's never been a. A mummy that was found. But again, that doesn't mean that that's not what it was for. Okay, so then people say, okay, well, maybe a different group came by and then they started putting mummies into the pyramids because they were like, oh, this is a good place to bury someone. This is a big monument. Right, but is that what it was originally for?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

So people have all these different theories as to what the original purpose was, and some of them are a little bit more, you know, nuanced and agreeable. But the best one, maybe the most interesting one, is that it was a massive ancient power plant. Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

Now, see how. How it's all stone and sand.

[Podcast Host]

It was drawing energy out of the earth itself. Itself. And there was a man who tried to rebuild it using the same exact technology and the same theories. And that guy was Nikola Tesla. And all of his research then vanishes after he dies. Whoa. So this is the story.

[Mark Normand]

So there's a point. Is like an antenna to the sky,

[Podcast Host]

that's what they're saying, that's what the theory is, that it was a power generating machine that converted the Earth's natural vibration into usable energy.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

So no mummy was ever found in any of the pyramids. So they're like, okay, why would a civilization pour that many resources into a structure that did nothing?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Generations of people dying to slavery, death, destruction. For what?

[Mark Normand]

But if it generates electricity, wouldn't it still generate electricity?

[Podcast Host]

We've just lost the key, but some people might have it, and they're not letting us do it. This is. This is where we're getting to the theory. All right, so the modern cornerstone of this whole thing is this guy, Christopher Dunn. He's a mechanical engineer who spent like 20 years reverse engineering this trying to figure it out. And he writes a book in 1988. 1998, called the Giza Power Plant. And it is, like, the foundational text of the whole theory.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy.

[Podcast Host]

And so here's how it allegedly works. Again, we're not saying that this is true. We're just saying it's a fun theory. We're going to try to get to the bottom of it.

[Mark Normand]

All right. Thank God for nerds.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

We wouldn't have any of this without virgin nerd incel. Weirdos.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

You need them.

[Podcast Host]

I accept that label. Yeah. Now, the pyramid vibrated in tune with the Earth's pulse, becoming what Don called a coupled oscillator that then pulled energy from the planet with little feedback. And then three smaller pyramids on the Giza Plateau supposedly helped the great pyramid hit the resonance. So the place that they call the King's Chamber is built from granite loaded with silicone quartz crystals. So he's saying that this was the power center that converted the vibration into microwave energy. The queen's chamber that's below it was a reaction chamber that then generated hydrogen, and that fuel ran the entire plant.

[Mark Normand]

But what do they need power for?

[Podcast Host]

This is the question. This is what we're all trying to figure out.

[Mark Normand]

I see. Because they got horses, they got camels, they got aqueduct. I feel like, what do they. They don't have a TV or a phone. Like, what do they need electricity for?

[Podcast Host]

Maybe a conversation with the gods or something. Maybe. Maybe this is the way they connect with the divine.

[Mark Normand]

Got it.

[Podcast Host]

Now, the other evidence that people will sort of posit on this theory is that the queen's chamber's walls are coated in salt. And then an analysis in 78 found that it was calcium carbonate, sodium chloride, and gypsum, which is exactly what you would get from hot hydrogen bearing gas reacting with limestone walls.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And they're like, oh, that's kind of weird. And then the walls of the king's chamber were pushed outward and the ceiling beams were cracked. This is supposedly attributed to hydrogen explosions that perhaps ended the plant's life. And then in 2001, while filming Inside, Dunn photographed scorch marks on the ceilings of the Grand Gallery matching where he theorized the energy handling frames would have been.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And then he claims that a broken corner of the granite box shows signs of being melted rather than chipped. Evidence of high heat.

[Mark Normand]

Like a lightning.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly. And then studies supportedly show the king's chamber resonates at frequencies matching human voices and Earth's natural vibration. Now, the way this is connected with Tesla is that Tesla believed that he could harness energy from inside the Earth and transmit it wirelessly around the world.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, I've heard that before.

[Podcast Host]

And this is like, I think fairly accepted within, like his own journals. He's like, there must be a way you can, like power planes and cars and all this stuff just remotely. You never need to stop for gas.

[Mark Normand]

Like a wi fi. Exactly, exactly.

[Podcast Host]

And like the way you put your phone down on like a little pad.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, pad.

[Podcast Host]

And it charges it. Can you do that over distance? And so this is the exact concept that this pyramid theory is kind of touching on. So he creates Wardenclyffe Tower, and this is a real attempt to do it. It's his attempt to create a free, wireless, planet wide power plant.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And proponents claim that Tessa believed that the pyramids maybe weren't built by the Egyptians as we know them now in the later kingdoms, but actually inherited from an older civilization like proto Egyptians. And Tesla's wireless power work was defunded, the tower was torn down, and then he dies in 1943. And allegedly, as the story goes, his papers were seized by the US government.

[Mark Normand]

Ah, the government. They got him, dude. Bro, I hate the government.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So to people they're like, oh, this is oppression theory. He was trying to create free energy. The lobbies were against that. They were like, this is too profitable. So they took all his research. Now there is counterclaims and skepticism to this whole theory. Okay, Tesla himself never left a single definitive statement that he believed the pyramids were power plants. So that's an issue. And so that claim isn't supported by his own writings or anything like that. There's no solid evidence that Wardenclyffe was modeled on pyramid designs. And then mainstream Egyptology dismisses the whole power plant theory as Just pseudoscience, pointing to radiocarbon dating and quarry marks and worker settlements as evidence that the pyramids were just built by Egyptians as a funerary monument.

[Mark Normand]

Get it?

[Podcast Host]

And then they say, like, the salt and the damage and the scorch marks and all this other circumstantial evidence all has a conventional explanation, like seismic activity and groundwater in soot from soldiers going in there with torches. And so people think that they're looking into this theory, but too much. Too much chutzpah.

[Mark Normand]

Got it. Got it. Well, I think why not look into it? You know? You never know what you'll find.

[Podcast Host]

You ever heard of the Baghdad Battery?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Podcast Host]

Hold a picture of that. This is a crazy little ancient artifact. No one knows what this is for.

[Mark Normand]

I'm wearing a lot here. This is.

[Podcast Host]

This is a wild one.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

They basically find these clay pots with, like, this acidic residue on the inside, and then these, like, copper. Like. Like, rings, basically. Yeah. You can see here. And they believe that it was, like, an ancient. Potentially an ancient battery.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, Yeah, I could see that. And. Whoa. Genius.

[Podcast Host]

Clay jar with a copper tube and an iron rod. And when you fill it with this acidic Electrolyte, it generates 1 volt of electricity. Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

That's cool.

[Podcast Host]

20 of these things together, all of a sudden, you can get a little.

[Mark Normand]

Little shot juice. Yeah. See, this is why people like Rogan. I know Rogan gets a bad rap. He's political, vaccine, whatever. But this is cool. I mean, you got my dumbass on here. But imagine if you went on there and talked all this. He would love to hear this.

[Podcast Host]

I'm sure he's talked about this. I'm sure.

[Mark Normand]

Probably. But, you know, curiosity is fun, but

[Podcast Host]

this is, like, not even really conspiratorial. This is just, like, an artifact that they found. And the real question is, what was it used for? So MythBusters did a whole thing on it that was great. Strung up, like, 20 of them together.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And then they connected it using gold wiring to an artifact. And you could have people come visit the artifact, and you could be like, oh, this is one of our gods. And then some foreign dignitary that comes and visits this massive pyramid, and they walk into this tiny little room, and it has fire everywhere. And then he puts his hands on this thing in a ritual ceremony, and then all of a sudden, he gets an electric shock.

[Mark Normand]

Brilliant.

[Podcast Host]

He's like, oh, my goodness. The Egyptians have harnessed the power of God. The lightning I see in the sky is now coming into my hands. This is the real God.

[Mark Normand]

Well, so they were just tricking the other guy by saying, we know God over here.

[Podcast Host]

This is a theory. This is potentially why they could have used it.

[Mark Normand]

That makes sense.

[Podcast Host]

That's one of those things. You're like, oh, how crazy would that have been?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, it's. It's a. A trick. Yeah, it's like a televangelist. It's a loud. Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Smacks your forehead.

[Mark Normand]

It's better, though. Televangelist is that. That these guys actually had some juice going into an art back. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I would respect the televange just more if you just tase people.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly. The power of God.

[Podcast Host]

Just.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, put, like a fake but a hidden taser under there.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Get him.

[Podcast Host]

Just grab him by the neck. Oh, yeah. This is it. This is a. He's like, all right, let me just see. Let's just see how the electricity is. Put his hand on it. Bang.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, there you go. The power of Christ compels thee.

[Podcast Host]

Crazy, right?

[Mark Normand]

Crazy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, what are these guys? This. Is this show still on? Did one of these guys have a scandal?

[Podcast Host]

They just didn't like each other.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's kind of like the lore. This is one of my favorite shows of all time.

[Mark Normand]

I used to love that.

[Podcast Host]

I was obsessed.

[Mark Normand]

You ever watch.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, Penn Jillette and. Yeah, tell her.

[Mark Normand]

That was a lot of fun.

[Podcast Host]

That was an awesome show.

[Mark Normand]

So cool. Great concept.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Penn Jillette's actually in New York, like, right now. I'm trying to get. I'm trying to get him on the pod.

[Mark Normand]

He's a kook. I've hung out with him. Really? He's an interesting guy.

[Podcast Host]

He's got the one fingernail painted.

[Mark Normand]

I just.

[Podcast Host]

I just think they're awesome.

[Mark Normand]

They're cool. Yeah. They started street performers, the both of them. They're. They're fascinating dudes.

[Podcast Host]

Y. He has a hang. Is it fun?

[Mark Normand]

Good hang. But he's just. He knows everything. He's too smart for the room. And when I met him, he was doing a potato cleanse. He was eating only potatoes, chips, and. No, like, anything. Just like a. Like a boiled potato. No salt, no nothing. And he lost a million pounds.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

Good for him.

[Podcast Host]

I guess that works.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. Giant man, too.

[Podcast Host]

You get how the Irish starved on the stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. True. Yes.

[Podcast Host]

The potato famine wasn't no potatoes. It was just only potatoes.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. But also, you're like, why do you just eat other. You got rabbits and whatnot. Yeah. What's your deal with potatoes?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, the English were starving them. I stand with my Catholic brothers. All right. I stand with the Irish.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Podcast Host]

Don't let the English get you down.

[Mark Normand]

Which Irish?

[Podcast Host]

The real.

[Mark Normand]

Not this Northern Irish Belfast nonsense. All right, you're hanging on now.

[Podcast Host]

I represent this traditional Catholic. That's why I'm wearing this sweater today.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, there you go.

[Podcast Host]

Supporting my Irish brethren.

[Mark Normand]

Is Gagnon Irish?

[Podcast Host]

No, it's French Canadian.

[Mark Normand]

I was going to say, it kind

[Podcast Host]

of sounds a little. Oh, Gagnon.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, Patty O. Gagnon.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

It could be something.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I thought about the Hispanics put the O at the end and the Irish with the O in the beginning. O'reilly. Or like, you know, Carlo or what's his name?

[Podcast Host]

Roberto.

[Mark Normand]

Roberto, yeah. It's just the same. Oh, he just flipped it. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

That's funny.

[Mark Normand]

We're not so different.

[Podcast Host]

Did you hear this guy from Cork? There's a Irish. An Irish politician from Cork.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

And he has the most insane accent ever.

[Mark Normand]

I love the Irish accent.

[Podcast Host]

And you can understand how the islands get their accent, like Jamaica and whatnot. Yeah. So the story goes like this. And Croesus. I can send this to you. The story goes like this, that during the time of slavery in the Caribbean, the Irish also went down there as indentured servants.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really? They were the N words of Europe.

[Podcast Host]

They said, that's what the story is.

[Mark Normand]

And if you rearrange letters in Ginger,

[Podcast Host]

same letters, they go down there and apparently, like, cohabitating. And they. According to one of these theories, again, this is not proven, but they, like, kind of influence the language of these West African slaves that are learning English are learning almost like a Scottish and an Irish English.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Because a lot of them go down there as indentured servants and they're living, like, together.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And so now you have Scottish politicians that sound Jamaican or maybe Jamaicans sound a little Scottish.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And it's one of those things, like, you kind of can hear it in your head, but once you see this video, you're gonna be like, oh, wow, that's the same accent.

[Mark Normand]

I can't wait.

[Podcast Host]

It's bizarre. All right, I just texted over to you.

[Mark Normand]

Irish and Scottish accents are the best.

[Podcast Host]

So this is the guy doing a recap of it, but I'm hoping to ever stand up and take a responsibility for their job. He brought all the new shiny booklet.

[Mark Normand]

It looks great.

[Podcast Host]

100 fat.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

140 pages, right? I have absolutely no idea. That's just a Jamaican.

[Mark Normand]

Great. It's completely Jamaican.

[Podcast Host]

140 pages.

[Mark Normand]

That's wild. Especially on a Bobsled Team Insane. It sounds cool, too. It's got a great rhythm.

[Podcast Host]

Less Cool Runnings would be the name of this movie. Slightly less cool.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, well, I mean, Bob Marley was half white. A lot of people forget that. Yeah. It's kind of like an Obama, where we go, the first black president. The first half black, first half white present. There you go.

[Podcast Host]

Half black.

[Mark Normand]

But yeah. Yeah. Crazy.

[Podcast Host]

That's funny. Now on this.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. He had biracial heritage. Was he Irish?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, imagine.

[Mark Normand]

Because Marley could be Irish. Probably British, I would imagine.

[Podcast Host]

But, I mean, we could figure out based off his mom's name.

[Mark Normand]

I'm sure Piers even called him White Boy. Oh.

[Podcast Host]

His father, Norville Sinclair Marley was a white Jamaican born in Clarendon Parish.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, okay. White Jamaican. Oh, wow.

[Podcast Host]

And then his mama was a Jamaican one.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Podcast Host]

Wow, look at that.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Norville Sinclair. It's got to be English.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right. Says German. The German. Maybe he's German descent.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, maybe.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting. Right.

[Podcast Host]

Now, some of the people in the comments of that video we did on the. The labyrinth with the ufo, they made all these comments about the Emerald Tablets of Toth. Have you heard of this?

[Mark Normand]

I know Toth.

[Podcast Host]

They were just like, oh, you got to look into this. This. This is the. The truth of the whole thing.

[Mark Normand]

Thing.

[Podcast Host]

And I looked into it, and it's. It's a little tough to, like, trace it all back.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

But just to. It's a legendary, cryptic text considered to be foundational to alchemy and all this stuff. But basically, what people in the comments of the video, and I just want to reference the people that have commented. Thank you for doing that. But this is us basically addressing what the comments said.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Podcast Host]

There's two different texts with the same name, and people mix them up with the fake one, so it becomes tricky. One is a real medieval alchemy document. The other was written by a Denver cult leader in the 1930s who claimed that he found alien tablets at the pyramid.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, boy.

[Podcast Host]

So one of those is a little bit more legit.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So the real Emerald Tablet traces back to medieval Arabic sources. So there's this old hermetic alchemy text that's attributed to this guy, Ermes Trismygdis. And it's all these occult teachings that go back to this one occult teacher, which we should do an episode on. Yeah, that famous line, as above, so below, which is, like, super popular in the cult circles. That's where it kind of originates from. And Isaac Newton even translated a version of it.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

The fake one is the Emerald tablets of Toth, the Atlantean. This is the one that people all over YouTube talk about. And it was by this guy, Maurice Doreal, whose name was actually Claude Doggins. And he founded the Brotherhood of the White Temple in Denver and claimed that he found the Emerald tablets in a 1925 visit to Giza.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, shit.

[Podcast Host]

And he talked to a. You know, it was written by this guy who was this king of Atlantis. Then he translated them and. Yeah, it's pretty weird. Like, unlike the medieval philosophical text, the fake one reads like a 1930s, like sci fi story. And it's written as a first person autobiography who claims to be this immortal priest king from Atlantis. And so people kind of like mix it all up.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

The issue with this whole story is that, that there's no tablets were ever produced, no independent corroboration from this 1931.

[Mark Normand]

So the.

[Podcast Host]

The original Arabic one is just like old school occultism from, you know, the seventh century. Yeah, but the one that people are talking about all the time, a lot, most of the time when they're talking about these Emerald tablets comes from this 1930s, sort of like fake one.

[Mark Normand]

Got it, got it. So he was a. A bullshit artist, this guy.

[Podcast Host]

Basically.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Most cult leaders are.

[Podcast Host]

And other stuff that he claimed in the book. He claimed that two Atlanteans took him to a cave under Mount Shasta in 1931 and built a cosmology about underground serpent races. Oh. And then his followers also claimed that in 1929, his astral self studied in Tibet while his physical body was driving a cab in Wichita. Which is, I mean, just an all time line if you ever need to get out of something, just be like, hey, look, my astral body wasn't cheating on you, all right, babe? But my physical body. Look, my physical body makes mistakes. All right? What do you want me to do?

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, that sounds like a country song.

[Podcast Host]

While my brain is in Tibet. Yeah, yeah, it's. Yeah, he's a wild guy.

[Mark Normand]

A 90 year old.

[Podcast Host]

It's a 90 year old text written by this Denver cult leader that borrowed the real document's name to sound.

[Mark Normand]

What a what? But these. This is the real one?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, the real one is. This is the.

[Mark Normand]

In a museum somewhere.

[Podcast Host]

This is the real one? Yeah. Can you click on maybe the show

[Mark Normand]

more more or hit that images or something?

[Podcast Host]

So it's. It points to 7th to 9th century and it's a dense text on the source of hermeticism, gnosticism and alchemy that details the secrets of the universe and the path to spiritual enlightenment.

[Mark Normand]

And we've translated it.

[Podcast Host]

Newton translated it.

[Mark Normand]

Newton?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, Isaac Newton. People think of as a great, you know, like, mathematician, which, of course he was, but he was so much more than that.

[Mark Normand]

Virgin.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Fun fact. Until he died, I believe.

[Podcast Host]

And in addition to that, also a, like, a real occultist.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Podcast Host]

He loved the occult. He was also, like, a real, like, scriptural, you know, reader. Like, he was a big Christian and, like, was all up in his Bible all the time. But I heard someone say, if you were to ask Isaac Newton what his job was while he was alive, he would have been like, oh, I'm a theologian.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

And he had this belief that he could, like, decode the Bible using math to, like, understand the true nature of creation and stuff like that.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

Also, what? One of the very first, like, spies, basically.

[Mark Normand]

Really?

[Podcast Host]

Because he was hired by the British Mint to be in charge of, like, all of their minting procedures, I'm pretty sure. Can you fact check that? So Isaac Newton was, like, working for the British government as man. He was the warden of the Royal Mint. An undercover disguise as a sketchy London tavern to build a network of informants to hunt down counterfeiters. Whoa. This is what Isaac Newton was up to.

[Mark Normand]

What a badass.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think it was a guy with an apple on his head making calculus? Yeah, yeah, no, he was doing all this other stuff too.

[Mark Normand]

And I'm sure these women tried to seduce him as a spy and he was like, virgin.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Back up.

[Podcast Host]

This penis is mint. Yeah, no one's touching it.

[Mark Normand]

Also mint. We're going back to tic tac. It's all circle.

[Podcast Host]

It's all connected, dude.

[Mark Normand]

It's all connected.

[Podcast Host]

All connected. Hey, guys, crazy story. So the good people at Brunt Workwear sent me boots. They actually sent me two pairs. And I'm not making this up. They said, hey, wear them to an actual job site, Beat them up, up, and if you don't like them, just send them back for a full refund. I was like, there's no way that's true. One for a few reasons. First off, I don't work on a work site. I do stand up comedy. So these have been in pristine condition, I will say, but I gave some to a friend of mine who's a carpenter. He just works with his hands all day and just destroys his shoes. And he literally hits me up two weeks later and goes, these are the most comfortable boots I've ever gotten. Thank you so much. So I'm probably gonna Charge him for him. But regardless, what I'm saying here is that Brunt Workwear has maybe the most comfortable, durable boots ever, right out of the BO. They last super, super long, they're super comfortable, and they look great. So here's the deal. This guy Eric, he's the founder. He grew up blue collar, and his buddies in all the trades kept telling him how, like, the big boot brands, you know, the ones I'm talking about, they became like these fashion companies, and they stopped doing the product that they all needed. So he was like, fine, I'm going to build one that actually works. And he named everything after actual tradesmen he really grew up with. So they're waterproof. They got a safety toe, they got a soft toe. They got pull up, lace up. You got all the options that you need. Now, right now, if you go to bruntworkware.com you're gonna get $10 off if you use the code camp. So you can save money. You can buy boots, wear them to work, and if you hate them, here's the crazy thing. You just send them back. There's literally nothing to lose. If you don't like them, you send them back for a full refund. That is the Brunt guarantee. So go to bruntworkware.com camp, that is C-A M P camp, and use the code camp. Save money, buy the boots, wear them to work, and if you hate them, you're gonna get a full refund. Just send them back and they'll give you your money back. Yeah, there's literally nothing to lose. I don't see why you wouldn't just give it a try. I mean, my friends love them. I love them, but I mean, I'm not doing manual labor, but they still look great. Anyway, that is bruntworkware.com camp. Use the promo code link is in the description, and tell them that the good people here at the campsite sent you. Let's get back to it now.

[Mark Normand]

Let's all come back to religion, too. Pull up Van Gogh. Dinner at Paris Cafe or something. It's a great. Let me. Let me show you something crazy. I want to throw one at you here.

[Podcast Host]

This is my favorite thing.

[Mark Normand]

Let me flip it around here. This is a famous painting by Van Gogh. You know, one of the great, great yada, yada, great artist. So he painted this, and they just recently found a secret in the painting.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, wow.

[Mark Normand]

Just recently, which is fast. Just some guy was looking at. He was like, what's up with this? And now it uncovered this whole thing. So I'm gonna see if you can find the secret.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, my goodness.

[Mark Normand]

Buddy, you gotta pull up the painting so he can see it. Paris at night. The cafe.

[Podcast Host]

Is this gonna be the guy with the big penis?

[Mark Normand]

No, that's the one. All right, zoom that open. There you go.

[Podcast Host]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. So you got a cafe at night. People are eating and drinking. People are walking around.

[Podcast Host]

Looks nice.

[Mark Normand]

Very pretty.

[Podcast Host]

Maybe something in the sky. I mean, you kind of tipped me off with the religion thing, so now

[Mark Normand]

I'm kind of good luck.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, is this a high risk?

[Mark Normand]

That's a little better.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Now we're talking. Creased, dose and needed that.

[Mark Normand]

Just the left.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, I see like a dark figure over there. That's kind of.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, that's something.

[Podcast Host]

Something ominous. Maybe that's like. That's the. The Grim Reaper. Or perhaps a cloaked figure entering a tavern.

[Mark Normand]

Very interesting.

[Podcast Host]

Could it be Ghislaine Maxwell?

[Mark Normand]

Aha.

[Podcast Host]

Is that what it is?

[Mark Normand]

I don't see any Young around. It's Francis Legal over there. Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

Everything's a big deal.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I'm trying to think. I mean, am I close?

[Mark Normand]

I'll just tell you because we're gonna be here for half an hour.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. I would have figured it out.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. But I stare at this thing. So count how many patrons, not including the waiter.

[Podcast Host]

All right, I see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. And then maybe two in the back that are kind of orangish.

[Mark Normand]

No, I don't think those are. Those are sizes. Like kids playing, I think. Okay, so you got 11. Yeah, yeah, 11 patrons. Now the waiter in the middle, what's that above his head? Is that a window? Looks like a cross. Oh, so wait, the 12 disciples. And one is walking away, and that is Judas. Wow, look at that. Just a big painting. Everybody likes it. It's pretty. It's night time, It's Paris. But there's a hidden message. Wow, that's Jesus.

[Podcast Host]

That's great.

[Mark Normand]

Good stuff, huh?

[Podcast Host]

Right? I love that there's a whole Instagram account that does art analysis.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

It's like a one minute art analysis process. And it's been one of my favorite things.

[Mark Normand]

That might be where I saw this.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, it's so great.

[Mark Normand]

I watch them all.

[Podcast Host]

It's just like a beautiful little. Like, it's like you've seen this painting before.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but did you know this?

[Podcast Host]

And it'll be like, this was his cat that died in a fire, right?

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. I took art history a lot, and it's so boring. You're like, God damn, get to it. Some queef with a goatee and a man bun. But then you just get the minute. It's like comedy. Nobody wants to listen to, like a George Carlin album.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

They'll listen to one. Great, great abortion bit.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

You know, same with this. Yeah, it's. It's.

[Podcast Host]

It's fun when you get the stories.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

You know?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I've heard about, like, Michelangelo's David. He has a small penis.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

And people always point this out, but people say he's supposed to have a small penis because it's supposed to represent the fear that he feels in the face of Goliath.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Podcast Host]

Because this is not just any old David. This is David, the King of Israel, fighting Goliath.

[Mark Normand]

I didn't know that.

[Podcast Host]

And so he's standing there, and it's supposed to be him, and sort of like this. This. This poised position where he's confident but scared.

[Mark Normand]

Scared. Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

That's why he has some shrinkage. This also was seen, I think, is, like, more polite and sort of neater to have a smaller member.

[Mark Normand]

I heard that, too. They. They equated big dongs with dumb.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, Like.

[Mark Normand]

Like animal.

[Podcast Host]

Barbarian. Right.

[Mark Normand]

You know. Right, exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. All these North Africans walked around with their giant penises. You know, I'm sure they saw, like, some guy from Algeria and they're like, what is that?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's the. That's the story. I mean, what is this? Oh, yes. So in Christian art, these visual cues, known as attributes, instruments of martyrdom. So early saints were executed. Artists depicted them holding or surrounded by the exact weapons or devices used to kill them. So St. Bartholomew is often depicted holding his flayed skin because he was skinned alive. Now, there's another thing. Can you. You're gonna have to Google very specifically. There is graphic sculptures on Gothic churches. These are, like, sexual sculptures that exist on churches. And there's a name for them. And it's a really interesting thing because, like, you see these. Yeah. They're. They're Romanesque churches with these sexual. Oh, yeah. This is what it is. Sheila Nagig.

[Mark Normand]

Easy. Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Well, you know her. Sheila Nagig is a figurative carving of a naked woman with an exaggerated vulva that is just, like, on the side of a church.

[Mark Normand]

All right, let's see if we can, for once find the. How big are we talking?

[Podcast Host]

There's all sorts of these weird ones where, like, there's a guy performing fellatio on himself.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And it's just on a church how about that?

[Mark Normand]

Look at that. That's a big old clam. Yeah. Quite the opening. Yeah. Hatchet wound. Bad face too. Yikes. He's like, please put something in me.

[Podcast Host]

So people have all these different theories. It's like why they exist. The popular hypothesis that it represents a pagan goddess and academics believe that it could actually be even more complicated. So the, the goddess in question is usually identified as Celtic and like Bonnie

[Mark Normand]

Blue of the day. Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

People say that it's associated with like fertility and. Yeah, they just exist on churches, like all over. It's pretty cool. Whoa.

[Mark Normand]

Crazy.

[Podcast Host]

And like sometimes they're women, sometimes they're mental.

[Mark Normand]

Then. Yeah, it's got a man's face.

[Podcast Host]

It looks like they're found in cathedrals, castles and other buildings.

[Mark Normand]

Kooky.

[Podcast Host]

They could have been used to ward off death, evil demons. Other grotesque carvings, such as gargoyles, were frequently a part of church decorations all over Europe. And it's commonly said that the purpose was to keep evil spirits wet.

[Mark Normand]

Have you been to Barcelona? Never. Oh my God. Pull up that church in Barcelona. I forget the name of it. I think they're just about to finish it. It's like hundreds and hundreds of years in the making. I got nothing cool to say about it. But this guy, Gaudy, which is where we get the term Gaudy, that's his last name. He, he was this great artist. I went to his house and fell in love with this guy. But this church, it's so ambitious. It's so ornate and they're just about to finish it. And he lived in like you know, 1200, whatever. And they're just finishing it based on his plans.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

It's unreal. But he's like the king of the town over there. Wow. That's the joke. What the hell's it called?

[Podcast Host]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistants. Assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3

[Mark Normand]

month plan equivalent to $15 per month

[Podcast Host]

Required intro rate first 3 months only,

[Mark Normand]

then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, feeful [e-mail] I can't. But there's so many twists and turns and you go up the stairs and it's. It's incredible. And there's like little jewels all over the wall and little windows that look out. It's. There's a line around the block. See this place?

[Podcast Host]

This one on the right?

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Like that like drip castle looking thing?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, but we got to get a better photo. Come on, man. What are you doing to me? I gotta get. I gotta.

[Podcast Host]

Winds falling out your sails.

[Mark Normand]

I can feel it. I got a tower here.

[Podcast Host]

You're starting to lose faith in your own thing.

[Mark Normand]

You're like, yeah, you know, I just have to show you because it's so pretty. But it's like, it's so detailed and insane, but you can go all inside of it and look out into the world. And it's like these windows are stained glass and weird little colors, but just the fact that he made these, this blueprint and the city is like, we're going to do it.

[Podcast Host]

That one in the middle, I mean, that is gorgeous.

[Mark Normand]

It's.

[Podcast Host]

Did you see it?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I went in there.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

It's crazy.

[Podcast Host]

I love this stuff. When I travel, I try to go to like, old churches and stuff. I enjoy it. Like, I know for some people are like, ah, religious history. It's like my favorite thing.

[Mark Normand]

It's the problem with our society. And look, we're guilty of it too. But like, you know, we, we bring up Elon and all, we think about, how many kids does he have? And let me put a swastika on the cyber truck. But there's so much more to Elon. But we focus on the, the, the. The scandal and the, you know, the red meat. Yeah. You know, and it's the same with this. Like, if I took a photo of that church and put it on my Instagram, nobody would give two shits. But if I put a photo of my wife's ass, they'd be like, hey, and I'm guilty of it too. You know, we just want to. We just want the, the peanut. Oh, we want the Eminem in the trail mix. Yeah, we don't want the peanut.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, no, there's something great about this. There's a guy actually that I, I listened to. He's done a few episodes. Alex o'. Connor. His name's the cultural tutor.

[Mark Normand]

I know that guy. Yeah, Alex. British guy. Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And the cultural tutor is another dude who's a. Just a brilliant YouTuber that does a lot of like, really interesting. He does a lot of really interesting analysis of art and architecture. Yeah. In a way that's digestible. It's not like an old professor, it's just like, imagine Talking to like a really smart 29 year old.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Who knows everything about every building. I love it and it's so fun. I would recommend if you got like an hour and you're biking around listening to this guy talk about architecture. He's like a few things that he says that are interesting on architecture at least. He's like, every time something new gets built in a town, people hate it.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Like the.

[Mark Normand]

It's modern, it's ugly.

[Podcast Host]

Twin towers, people hate it. The Eiffel Tower, people hate it.

[Mark Normand]

Is that right? Oh, my goodness.

[Podcast Host]

When the Eiffel Tower went up, it was constantly ridiculed. It just went up for a temporary thing at the World's Fair. And they were like, oh, I can't wait till they take this thing down. Then they kept it up and then now it is the staple of Paris. But for the longest time it was just. It was seen as ostentatious. And God, like, just completely didn't fit in with the rest of Paris at all, which it doesn't.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, right. Like, we do that with ideas. We got to get rid of slavery. What, are you kidding? I got a slave. Why would we get rid of this guy? We should have a full a war over this.

[Podcast Host]

And then 300 years go by and you're like, how did anyone have said.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

It's just funny how. How that kind of stuff works. The other thing he mentions that's interesting is a lot oftentimes, like capitalism is affecting the way people build stuff. So we don't build, like beautiful buildings in the way that we used to because of, you know, cost of things and things like that. But also, he's. No, he's. I think it might have been him or someone else. But the Pizza Hut effect, where, like, you would see an old Pizza Hut that wasn't a Pizza Hut anymore. It was a Chinese restaurant. Yeah. But you knew that it used to be a Pizza Hut.

[Mark Normand]

The shape.

[Podcast Host]

Because the shape. But now they don't build the shape anymore. Now they just build a box.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

That they can put anything into.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly. It's cheaper. And the materials, I mean, you see old McDonald's. Yeah. Had a farm, but like a new McDonald's, like just a square gray building with an M on it.

[Podcast Host]

Because if one day it's not McDonald's, we're not going to remodel this whole thing. We'll just put someone else in there.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, cars are a great example. I have a 1973 BMW. It's Riviera Blue, it's cool. It's shaped, it's got little accents and an antenna and all these triangular windows. Now you see a car, it's just, as Seinfeld would say, it's all oatmeal. Yeah. It's all gray. And I mean, look at this.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it's awesome.

[Mark Normand]

That's so cute.

[Podcast Host]

It's a beauty.

[Mark Normand]

It's a beauty. They put time and thought in that back window. Look at that back window. It's like a weird shape and it pops out. You know, you turn a little crank and it pops out like that. It's so fun. Every line and curve is thought of and now every car is like crumple zone and, you know, arrow eco friendly and whatever. Hybrid. And that's great, but why can't we have the style too, too? Because the style takes a little extra time and money.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, exactly. But then he pointed out another thing where you look like an old Scottish, you know, village and you have these like, thatch roof little houses. And we think it's so quaint and cute and romantic now, but at the time, those were the shittiest places you could live and that they were just building stuff with the stuff that was around them.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And we're doing the same exact thing now, but instead of thatch roofs, we have plastic.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

And things like that. So we're just doing the same thing. And maybe in. In 200 years, people look back at like our little McMansion houses that are cheaply built or something, or like a cinder block house and they go, oh, that's so cute and quaint. Which is crazy to think, but if you told someone back in the day, like, hey, your little thatch roof cottage is going to be seen as like a getaway for a couple.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

They'd be like this piece of.

[Mark Normand]

Well, maybe it's the same when you see these hipster guys with like a shitty camera. You know they have like a digital camera from 1999.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Or a record player. What. What is that? Like, why, why do we have. We have a. You go on a date with a girl, you go to a log cabin, you get a carriage ride through the park, and you do a candle at dinner. These are all things how we used to live. Yeah. But now they're considered romantic. Yeah, but you couldn't be like, hey, we should get the dysentery and farm, you know, that'd be like, what the hell? How come some stuff is romantic and some isn't.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it's funny. You just need time to go by.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Right.

[Podcast Host]

Like it's funny now because I in a way romantic of like the 90s.

[Mark Normand]

Same.

[Podcast Host]

You know, now the younger generation, like Gen Z is romantic for like 2Ks.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Like.

[Podcast Host]

Like they, like, like the low rise jeans.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

A tramp stamp.

[Mark Normand]

Exactly. Like a flip phone.

[Podcast Host]

Like things that you were like, okay, this is boring now.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

Like you reach a point, you're like, oh, we're leaving this behind us. It's now being revisited.

[Mark Normand]

So weird. That works. But you know, you see like a. I see like a 19 year old with a Nirvana shirt. Yeah. Like that's like me wearing a beetle shirt, I guess.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I was a kid. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

It's craz now. You have like rock music coming back. People are listening to Green Day. We have another war in the Middle East.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, Right.

[Podcast Host]

We're back in 2003.

[Mark Normand]

We're back, baby.

[Podcast Host]

It's kind of beautiful.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

It's all cyclical.

[Podcast Host]

Before we wrap up, I wanted to ask you, do you want to. Do you want to go down a crazy deep dive of the law of one, a woman that talked to apparently the Egyptian pharaoh or the Egyptian God Ra when she was a medium, Them. Or do you want to talk about these missing scientists? Or you want to hit a little bit of. A little bit of both.

[Mark Normand]

Give me a little scientist. Just because I have no idea what's happening here and I'd like to know.

[Podcast Host]

Between 2022 and 2026, there's basically this allegation that scientists are going missing.

[Mark Normand]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

So there's a list that circulated online specifically of 11American scientists and facility workers who have vanished. Now, apparently this is also happening in China, which is interesting and coincidental.

[Mark Normand]

China, I believe, because they. They're shady and they don't give a.

[Podcast Host]

A which people say that. America. I think we're kind of the same dude.

[Mark Normand]

Like a little bit.

[Podcast Host]

There's a story of. What's the guy, the MK Ultra dude that got pushed out of a window. He was a CIA officer that was. Did mk, was a part of MK Ultra, got dosed with lsd, lost his mind, and then instead of reporting it, he jumped out of his window. But also had a wound to the back of his head before he jumped out.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting.

[Podcast Host]

So it's like, look, people fall out of windows in every government around the world.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Errol Morris did a documentary called Wormwood. Yeah. This guy, Frank Olsen.

[Mark Normand]

Huh.

[Podcast Host]

He was fell. He jumped out of a window. He was a US army biological warfare scientist who worked on a covert CIA mind control operation.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

So, yeah. Different governments have had people fall out of windows, I guess.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. At least Russia has the balls be like, no, we pushed, you know, they just open. He was gay. He was. We had to do him. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So people are vanishing. Is this. This is kind of the theory. And by April 2026, the FBI, I started reviewing it, Congress opened a hearing, and even Trump said, I hope all this is random, but we're going to investigate it.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

So now this, like, theory that was like kind of fringe floating around the Internet has now percolated all the way to the top of the American governmental system. And we did an episode where we went through all the 11 names and who they all are and how ultimately they all kind of vanished. All right, now two of them are still completely unresolved in any way. Some of them have stories that kind of explain it, but two of them are just completely, completely un. Undiscovered. So this woman, Monica Reza, she's a metallurgist and she vanished during a hike in broad daylight. She was with another person. And now that person is like, yeah, she went around a corner and now she's gone. No one can find her.

[Mark Normand]

My Lord.

[Podcast Host]

Never found her body. They think. I think they found her visor. And that was the only thing that was discovered.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

And then another one is a retired Air Force general named Neil McCasland who disappeared eight days after the presidential UAP disclosure. Post. Post.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

And so the President's like, hey, we're going to disclose all the UFO stuff. And then eight days later, this guy is nowhere to be found.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

He, I think, changes his clothes. His wife goes to a doctor's appointment and she comes back an hour later. When she comes back, I think his phone is on the table and I don't think he took anything else with him. He like, changed his clothes. Changed his clothes and then just walked off into like the desert behind their house in New Mexico.

[Mark Normand]

What the fuck is going on?

[Podcast Host]

And so to this day, no one knows. We can go through some of the other ones. So Melissa Cassius, this is interesting because her body was actually just discovered five days ago.

[Mark Normand]

All right, great.

[Podcast Host]

So she's a 53 year old laboratory worker that was an administrative assistant at Los Alamos National Laboratory and she worked in the office supply procurement department.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Los Alamos is also where a bunch of people have claimed, like, different clandestine UFO operations. Oh, so like Bob Lazar, if you're familiar with him. Sure. He claimed to have worked to Los Alamos. Now, she was not a physicist, didn't handle classified Material and didn't have a role in research. But she was an admin at Los Alamos. So on the morning she vanishes. She drops her husband off at Los Alamos because he also worked there, tells her daughter that she forgot her badge and that she would just work from home that day. Then she dropped off lunch at her daughter's job at 12:30. And then by the afternoon doorbell cameras caught her walking along State Road 518 towards Carson National Forest. Inside her house they find her purse, wallet, keys, both of her phones, personal phone and work phone, one of them set to a factory reset.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Podcast Host]

Along with a check that she was supposedly going to cash sitting next to some money.

[Mark Normand]

Oh my God.

[Podcast Host]

Now the story is that her family is under some financial stress after a settlement fell through. And then the New Mexico State Police said that their invest investigation indicated she left of her own volition. And basically, yeah, that's what their own, the family's own private investigator also said. And then on May 28, human remains were discovered by a hiker in the Northern New Mexico National Forest near State Road 518, the highway where an acquaintance had reported seeing her walking on the day that she vanished. And then the office of the medical investigator positively identified her as this woman. But the cause and the manner of death have still not been determined. But a handgun. A handgun was located nearby the remains. Remains. Okay, so she may have taken her own life, which is very sad. But. But maybe she was taken out. Who knows?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Now all of this is just weird where it's like, why is all this happening now? There are thousands, tens of thousands of scientists in the United States and scientists die every year. Sure. It's a natural thing that happens. And some of them take their own lives, some of them get murdered. Yeah, stuff happens.

[Mark Normand]

But we have the body, we have a note, we have some, you know, hey, they got hit by a car. You know, there's something. This is so eerie and so vague. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Those two are the strangest ones is Monica reza and Neil McCaslin because there's no body.

[Mark Normand]

I saw a great tweet, the guy who invented the wheelie shoe guide and somebody went, another scientist take it out. That's good, that's funny, that's funny.

[Podcast Host]

But yeah, it's, it's very strange. The Neil McCaslin one is interesting because he had so many high ranking clearance.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So he was in the military and had all sorts of access to all sorts of stuff. So by the end of his time he was assigned to the Pentagon as the director of space acquisition within the office of the undersecretary of the air force.

[Mark Normand]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

So he's working within the most confidential private U. S. Intelligence center basically inside the Pentagon. And he then served as the director of special programs and then made him the executive secretary to special access programs oversight committee. And so in charge of the oversight review of the oversight and review body with full purview of all of America's most sensitive and secretive knowledge capabilities and programs. Okay, so he's in charge of the oversight and review body with all of the access to these programs.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but shouldn't he have employees and co workers who can talk about them or vouch for them or, or say what he was doing?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I mean people can, I mean almost all of it's classified, but the underlying point here is that he has access to all of this stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Got it.

[Podcast Host]

And then he retires and then in his post military career he's working as like on the board of all of these, you know, like, like weapons companies and military industrial complex companies. So you know, he's on the board of trustees for Riverside Research and all this other stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

Now what's crazy is that there is even a connection to Epstein in here.

[Mark Normand]

All right, now we're getting somewhere.

[Podcast Host]

Kind of to Epstein, mostly to John Podesta. So basically in 2016 there's a John Podesta email leak. Now John Podesta is the chairman of Hillary Clinton's campaign in 2016. So he's in charge of her campaign and his emails get leak leaked. And there's an archive of documents that were obtained in a data leak. And in it there is an interesting email from the Tom DeLong who's in Blink 182.

[Mark Normand]

Ah.

[Podcast Host]

So this is basically what it says in a January 25, 2016 email Tom DeLong wrote to Podesta and this is all leaked. Now so this was in the email file and it says this Tom DeLong says, I've been working with Neil McCaslin for months. I just got done giving him a four hour presentation on the entire project a few weeks ago.

[Mark Normand]

What the fuck?

[Podcast Host]

Now Tom DeLonge is a big UFO aliens disclosure guy. He has this whole thing called the to the stars Academy where he's trying to get disclosure. So he's a big like aliens dude.

[Mark Normand]

Got it.

[Podcast Host]

And he's saying to John Podesta, Hillary Clinton's camp or like campaign manager, hey, I've been Talking to Neil McCaslin about aliens.

[Mark Normand]

Cool.

[Podcast Host]

And he says, trust me, the advice is already is, is Already been happening on how to do this. He just has to say out loud. But he's very, very, very, very aware, as he was in charge of all that stuff. When Roswell crashed, they shipped it to the laboratory at Wright Patterson air Force Base. General McCasner was in charge of that exact laboratory up until a couple years ago.

[Mark Normand]

There we go.

[Podcast Host]

He only knows what I'm trying to achieve. He helped. He not only knows what I'm trying to achieve, he helped assemble my advisory team. He's a very important man.

[Mark Normand]

Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

Now, that's. In an email. Whether it's true or not, Tom DeLong said that he's been talking to Neil McCaslin.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, yes.

[Podcast Host]

And then 10 years later, right when the government's like, hey, we're going to release all these documents. No. McCasley goes missing.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Why? Well, where's. Where's DeLong on this? He must be pissed.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know if he's come out and, like, gave an official statement.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I guess he's nervous. I don't know.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, it could be the case that. No. McCaslin is, you know, takes his own life, maybe. He says, you know what? I have, like, chronic pain. Apparently he was dealing with some health issues. He says, I'm out of here. It's possible that he was under pressure from the government. It's possible that they wanted him to work on something. Who knows?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. Boy, there's so many factors, as you could say. Tom delong knows about all the small things. All right.

[Podcast Host]

That's what Tom DeLong said when he heard Neil McCasney was missing. He goes, where are you? It's a cute little one.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah, this kooky.

[Podcast Host]

Just crazy.

[Mark Normand]

It's crazy, and it's. It's frustrating because we'll never know. And it. There's some big operation behind all this that just. Just is leaving us out of it. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So what's your take on. On missing scientists?

[Mark Normand]

I think we got some UFO cooking. I think these guys know too much. And I think there's the Internet now. They could just go write one blog post and change the whole world. Yeah. And I think we got some fighting with China, some fighting with this, and I don't know everybody. We want to have. I think we want. The government wants to have all the information and just them having. Have it. And so I think if someone else has too much, they got to cut them out. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Have you ever been hanging at the mothership when any of these types of guys come through?

[Mark Normand]

No, but I Avoid these guys.

[Podcast Host]

Really?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, because I don't want to. Hey, I don't want to die. And they're not exactly fun, you know? These guys aren't chugging a High Noon.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? They're just like. They. I met that Eric Weinstein guy who's very nice, but he just goes and goes and goes and talks about. About philosophy and science. And I'm like, ah, just fart on me. Yeah, exactly. So I'll let them talk and I'll maybe overhear a few cool things. But, yeah, it's not. It's not my cup.

[Podcast Host]

Where are you at on aliens so far?

[Mark Normand]

I think they're real. I think they're out there. I think we have one or two. I think they're watching us, but I don't think we have anything to worry about.

[Podcast Host]

You don't think so?

[Mark Normand]

No, I think we're there. They're not violent. They would have killed us by now, Right? Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And also the hope is that if they're smarter than this, then maybe they're smart enough to know that violence is not the answer.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, we're the dumb ones out here

[Podcast Host]

trying to kill and conquest everyone, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Also, I'm sure we're amazing entertainment. They're like, look at this Lizzo lady. Like, what are they doing? They're each other. They're filming it. All kinds of cool stuff. So, yeah, we got Malibu fires and we got Spencer Pratt and we got Trump. I mean, this. It's all fun and games.

[Podcast Host]

Maybe they're watching the pod right now.

[Mark Normand]

Probably watching the pod. They're probably watching people in Ukraine get killed. They're watching Iran do stuff.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I watched Chimp Empire.

[Mark Normand]

There you go.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, just a bunch of, you know, chimps for walking around. They're all in, like, a. A war right now.

[Mark Normand]

All right, easy. Chud the builder. Holy hell. But no, I. Chip stuff's amazing. I just went to the Brooklyn Zoo with my kid, by the way. I brought my kid to the zoo. I showed him the monkeys, and he wanted to play with the revolving door the whole time. That's kids classic. But the I. I stayed and stared at his baboon. He gets a boner. Crazy pink dick pisses like five feet. Whoa. Crazy. And all the baboon asses were pink, bright pink, as they were in heat.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, wow.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Did it hit anyone? What do you mean? The pee?

[Mark Normand]

No, he was on a rock alone, kind of showing his masculinity, I guess.

[Podcast Host]

That's beautiful. Yeah, I mean, that's Entertaining to me.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, it's great.

[Podcast Host]

So the aliens must be looking at us being like, look how funny they are.

[Mark Normand]

I know. We're the baboon wounds. Just jerking off. Pissing. Yeah. All kinds of stuff.

[Podcast Host]

Their asses gets so red.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, dude, it was bright electric pink.

[Podcast Host]

It's almost, like, uncomfortable.

[Mark Normand]

I know, but it makes you realize, like, we are monkeys. Like, I look at women's asses, I get a boner. We're not that different.

[Podcast Host]

You try to pee on a rock.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's beautiful. Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Well, Mark, I appreciate you, brother. Thank you so much. Hey, where can the people find you? You have a new show out, by the way. That's fantastic.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I do.

[Podcast Host]

Well, it's new. The humans one.

[Mark Normand]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Thank. Yeah. Human trials.

[Podcast Host]

Human trials.

[Mark Normand]

We take one group, like nuns or bikers or Gen Z women, and perform just for them. I got a thing called Page to stage. It just dropped.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

It's about writing one joke and how hard it is. And the Markumentary, which is about putting my special together. And Colorado and. Yeah. Twosor stories. We might be drinking drunk. Check out my Netflix special. None too pleased. Yeah, it's on YouTube. We do some AI talk. We get a little in there.

[Podcast Host]

And you got a bunch of other ones on YouTube.

[Mark Normand]

Soup to nuts just got put back on Netflix.

[Podcast Host]

Out to Lunch was another one.

[Mark Normand]

Out to Lunch is out there. So. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of content folks get on it.

[Podcast Host]

Amazing. Norman, you're the man. I really appreciate you doing this. Thanks for being a part of the show.

[Mark Normand]

Thanks for having. This was illuminating.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I. I hope it was fun.

[Mark Normand]

I hope I learned lot.

[Podcast Host]

A.

[Mark Normand]

A lot. Whoa.

[Podcast Host]

This could be the new. This could be your new Human Trials.

[Mark Normand]

I like it. Boy. Aliens, you know, must hate aliens is immigrants, because they're like, what the. Nobody's coming after them. I mean, we're trying, you know, that's true. We're trying.

[Podcast Host]

That would be consistent. That's the one consistent thing Trump has done.

[Mark Normand]

What is.

[Podcast Host]

He's like, hey, we're going to get the immigrants. We're also going to get the aliens. Any type of alien. We're going to get to the bottom of it. Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Almost respectable. Alien ant farm, you're next.

[Podcast Host]

Anyway, thank you so much, Mark. God bless you all. Thanks for tuning into another episode of Camp, and we'll see you next time.

[Mark Normand]

Thanks for the juice.