Ranking Every Presidential Assassination Plot with Peyton Ruddy | Patreon Early Access Bonus Episode

Summary

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Camp Gagnon Podcast Summary

Episode: Ranking Every Presidential Assassination Plot with Peyton Ruddy

Host: Mark Gagnon
Guest: Peyton Ruddy
Date: July 13, 2026
[Patreon Early Access Bonus Episode]

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Episode Overview

In this engaging (and often hilarious) Patreon bonus episode, Mark Gagnon and guest Peyton Ruddy—historian, comedian, and Instagram creator—dive deep into American history's strangest and most infamous presidential assassination attempts. The pair break down both successful and foiled plots, analyze wild conspiracy theories, and trade entertaining banter on everything from the "magic bullet" to assassination-related trivia and obscure connections, all with an irreverent, open-minded flair that is signature "Camp."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The JFK Assassination: America's Greatest Conspiracy Theory

Timestamps: 09:04–35:44

• The Official Narrative vs. Conspiracies

  • Recap of the official Warren Commission findings: Lee Harvey Oswald as lone gunman, "magic bullet theory," Jack Ruby's killing of Oswald.
  • Peyton expresses skepticism about key points—unrecorded interrogations, the "magic bullet," and rapid fire rate required ("might be the most stupid theory" – Peyton, 17:47).
  • Mark details oddities like the missing autopsy brain, incomplete medical documentation, and sketchy chain of evidence ("the autopsy had extensive failings" – Mark, 26:35).
  • Speculation about CIA or mafia involvement, with both agreeing a single shooter theory is not widely believed today.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “It was standard in 1963 for police to not record interrogations, even in major cases. That seems wild, and I have a hard time believing that.” – Mark, 10:44
  • “If you could look this up... they had him being interrogated for like 15 hours. Not one recording.” – Peyton, 09:59
  • “Might be the most stupid theory.” – Peyton, 17:47
  • “You could just walk up to the president back in the day, like, how is there no security?” – Mark, 49:36

• Memorable Moments:

  • Mark and Peyton crack up at the “magic bullet” trajectory diagrams (18:16).
  • Autopsy photos and onsite conspiracy museums at Dealey Plaza discussed (22:06–24:21).
  • Convo veers into Jackie O’s iconic status, hot first ladies, and memes about “young Hillary” (05:51–08:49).

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2. Early Presidential Plots: Jackson Survives on Luck

Timestamps: 36:00–44:13

• The Attack on Andrew Jackson (1835)

  • Richard Lawrence, a house painter convinced he was British royalty and owed government money, attempted to shoot Jackson.
  • Both of Lawrence’s pistols misfired—odds 1 in a million—after which Jackson attacked him with a cane.
  • Notable that Francis Scott Key, writer of the national anthem, prosecuted the case.
  • Early example of mental illness (and mercury poisoning/"mad hatter" effect) influencing assassination attempts—and Jackson’s paranoia fueling the first U.S. political conspiracy theories.

• Memorable Moment:

  • "Imagine like an old guitar, just someone’s attic—yeah, it’s not gonna show up on Antique Roadshow and she's like, 'I have this old brain.'" – Peyton, 26:18

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3. The Lincoln Assassination: Drama, Connections, Paranoia

Timestamps: 44:31–58:29

• John Wilkes Booth’s Attack on Lincoln

  • Booth, famous actor and Confederate sympathizer, kills Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre; wild coincidence that Lincoln once watched Booth from the same theater box (45:13–46:44).
  • The plot included simultaneous attacks on VP Johnson and Secretary of State Seward—both ultimately survived.
  • The “dragged through the mud” idiom possibly comes from Booth’s accomplice, Dr. Samuel Mudd, who treated Booth’s broken leg (51:19).
  • Persistent rumors Booth survived and escaped, with failed 2010s DNA exhumation attempts discussed.
  • Bizarre trivia: Lincoln's son, Robert Todd Lincoln, was present at three presidential assassinations.

• Notable Quote:

  • “He was prosecuted by Francis Scott Key. The guy that wrote the national anthem.” – Mark, 40:36

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4. Teddy Roosevelt: The Bulletproof President

Timestamps: 58:29–62:12

• Roosevelt’s Incredible Toughness

  • Roosevelt was shot in the chest by John Schrank while carrying his steel glasses case and a 50-page speech, both slowing the bullet.
  • Roosevelt insisted on proceeding to give his 84-minute speech before seeking medical attention, famously declaring, “It takes more than that to kill a bull moose” (60:54).
  • Schrank said in court McKinley visited him in a dream and told him to kill Roosevelt.
  • Despite this act of bravado, Roosevelt lost the election.

• Memorable Moment:

  • “He pinked me. That’s what Teddy Roosevelt’s line is after getting shot in the chest.” – Mark, 60:40

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5. Modern Era: Foiled and Strange Assassination Attempts

Timestamps: 62:12–76:03

• George W. Bush: From Grenades to Shoes

  • In Georgia, a would-be assassin threw a live hand grenade at Bush; it failed to detonate due to a wrapped handkerchief (63:08).
  • The infamous “shoe throw” incident in Iraq (65:15): highly symbolic insult in Arab culture.

• Ronald Reagan and the Jodie Foster Connection

  • John Hinckley Jr. shot Reagan in 1981 to impress Jodie Foster, after obsessively watching Taxi Driver (69:46).
  • Reagan displayed quick wit after the shooting—"I forgot to duck" (72:07); "I hope you're all Republicans" to the surgeons (72:16).
  • Hinckley was eventually released and now makes bizarre art and music (76:03).

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6. Other Attempts & Dark Coincidences

Timestamps: 76:03–87:26

• Garfield's Death and Medical Ignorance

  • Charles Guiteau shoots President Garfield. The wound should have been survivable, but “treatment” by unsterilized hands led to deadly infection.
  • Wild coincidence: Garfield, Lincoln, and McKinley were all assassinated in the presence of Lincoln’s son, Robert Todd Lincoln (81:26–86:34).

• Lincoln-Kennedy Parallels:
  Mark rattles off numerous eerie “coincidences” between Lincoln and JFK: years elected, vice presidents, sequence of deaths, etc. (85:16–86:09).

  • "Before Abraham Lincoln was killed, like the week before, he was in Monroe, Maryland. Before JFK was killed, he was in Marilyn Monroe.” – Mark, 86:01

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Everything was recorded and this is the guy who killed him. And you don’t want to record anything he says?" – Peyton, 12:12
• “Assassinations back in the day were pretty easy. You just walk up to the president, like how is there no security?” – Mark, 49:36
• “Francis Scott Key...prosecuting the guy that tried to kill Andrew Jackson.” – Mark, 40:36
• “It takes more than that to kill a bull moose.” – Teddy Roosevelt, recounted by Mark, 60:54
• “[Hinckley was] released from institutional psychiatric care...and now he is free and does art and makes music.” – Mark, 76:03

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Timestamps by Section

• Introductions, Instagram Banter: 00:09–03:25
• First Ladies, Hotness Rankings: 05:02–09:09
• JFK Assassination Deep Dive: 09:11–35:44
• Conspiracy Theories / Mob & CIA Theories: 34:33–36:00
• Andrew Jackson Assassination Attempt: 36:00–44:13
• Lincoln, Booth, and the Theater Plot: 44:31–58:29
• Teddy Roosevelt Shooting: 58:29–62:12
• Bush & Modern Attempts: 62:12–66:01
• Reagan, Hinckley, & Jodie Foster: 69:45–76:03
• Garfield, Odd Coincidences, Lincoln’s Son: 76:03–87:26
• Wrap-Up & Plugs: 87:27–88:10

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, darkly comic, curious, and conversational. Both host and guest trade off snarky one-liners and anecdotes, never shying from macabre details but always keeping the tone light and engaging for history buffs and casual listeners alike.
• Historical nerdery meets modern meme culture, as rankings of “hottest First Ladies” segue into dense conspiracy breakdowns and wild speculation.
• Memes, pop culture, and standup bits weave through the history, keeping everything as absorbing and unpredictable as the assassination attempts themselves.

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For New Listeners

For anyone interested in U.S. history, true crime, or oddball factoids, this episode is a rapid-fire, no-holds-barred journey through America’s most famous and bizarre assassination stories. Expect deep dives, big laughs, and enough insane real-life twists to make you wish your high school history class had been this fun.

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Transcript

[A]

Peyton Ruddy Mark. How are you again?

[B]

I'm good, how are you?

[A]

I'm amazing, dude. I'm amazing.

[B]

It's good to hear.

[A]

I. I am a fan of yours from specifically all your Instagram content.

[B]

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[A]

I know me and at this point, like half a million other people isn't. I mean half more than half?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, what are we up to now?

[B]

I think I hit 537 this morning.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. All right.

[A]

Now we're talking. And he's not talking about pounds. That's okay. That's a rude joke. I shouldn't have said that.

[B]

Jesus. Get out.

[A]

You take it out on him.

[B]

Take the dog with you.

[A]

No, I, I'm just such a fan. I think I DM'd you after I saw a couple of your clips. You don't follow him. This is the camp Instagram camp. Instagram has to follow him immediately. Okay. This is extremely disrespectful.

[B]

That's okay. Okay.

[A]

You didn't actually have to pull it off the screen because we need that,

[B]

we need that back.

[A]

So. Yeah, I, I think I DM'd you cuz I had seen you around the mothership.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I saw these clips and I think I straight up just sent you a message. I was like, you're going to be on SNL one day.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I was about to go on stage, you text me that. It was a very nice message.

[A]

Yeah, of course, dude. I'm a fan. I just think the, the, the clips work well for me specifically because they are very funny. They're all historical. Maybe not all, but many of them have some type of historical reference, specific history, which I love. And, and yeah, they're just like, there's something subtle about them that I'm like, I could just watch these non stop, you know.

[B]

Thanks, man.

[A]

Like, it's not like, like I could just burn through like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

20 of them in like, you know, a couple minutes and just be like, I love this, love this. Like, and like, like, yeah, it's great.

[B]

I appreciate that.

[A]

Have you felt the reaction has been pretty strong since you started doing them?

[B]

Yeah. In what way? What do you mean?

[A]

Like tickets or people coming up to you on the street or just like

[B]

people like what is your market?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what is not?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Cause man, we go like, we go on a run and do like, I don't know, like I did was doing like Colorado, Salt Lake City and all these cities that was like sold out. Like, I think I did like three or four sold out in a row. And I was like, I'm doing it. Yeah. And then you go to, like, Atlanta, and it's like, hey, you sold 12 tickets. You're like, what? So it's. It's fun. It's definitely an emotional roller coaster that you have to go through trying to figure out who are my people, where's my crowds, where are my. What cities are good, what cities are bad? But I'm very grateful. Most cities have been very fun and tickets have been pretty good. So I'm grateful for that.

[A]

And we were talking about this a little bit before, but you have a legitimate interest in history despite being a bad student.

[B]

Yes, yes. I like history. I think it's fun. And I've always been very interested in it. I'm not one of these, like, guys that, like. I don't know, sometimes you talk to your guy who likes history and they're like, you didn't know that? Like, that kind of. I'm like, not that guy at all.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like. I'm like a history buff, I think. You know what I mean? I'm an. I think, history buffer. I'm like, yeah, this happened. I think.

[B]

I think. Yeah. And then I read about it and I go, I didn't know about this. I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah.

[A]

I'm a big gist guy. You know what I mean? That's the way to put it offhand. I like to know the gist of things.

[B]

Get the gist of things, so I can socially be there in the conversation.

[A]

Conversation, exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Well, yeah.

[A]

Today we're going to be going through more than just the gist. I want to talk to you about some of the most infamous presidential assassinations. Both successful. Yeah. Slash unfortunate and unsuccessful. And we're going to go through the gauntlet. And would you mind referencing the clip that we pulled up or any one of them? This is a great one that I think is a good way to kick us off. Would you mind just playing that? The music might get us clipped, but we'll see. Oh, you gotta hit the little sound button at the bottom.

[B]

It's like a. Put some piano to the back. Yeah. Is it Charlie Chaplin?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh.

[A]

Oh, no. There we go.

[B]

There you go. Oh. Almost.

[A]

Almost got. Oh.

[B]

What's happening?

[A]

It's not letting me extend here.

[B]

Can if.

[A]

What if you scroll close so that way it shrinks. I'm just gonna do it on my screen.

[B]

Yeah, just do it on your screen. Get. He's your sleeve. Let's get the out.

[A]

Just take the dog with you.

[B]

Do you decorate this yourself?

[A]

Yeah, my wife and I.

[B]

Really? You decorated the whole thing?

[A]

Yeah, it's been. I love antiquing. Yeah. I was going to say about me. I'm obsessed.

[B]

No, I love it, too.

[A]

All right. Rip it.

[B]

Oh, my God, that's terrible. Don't worry, I'm taking you right to the hospital. She's bad.

[A]

Bad. Objectively bad.

[B]

She's bad.

[A]

I mean, she's probably top three hottest first ladies of all time.

[B]

Yeah. That's an easy top three to make, though I will say.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

No, I'm saying, like, it's. The bar is low.

[A]

Oh, yeah, but the bar. I mean, sure, the bar is low, but I mean, by all means, I'm. I'm unfortunately three. I don't want to make the show too political, but I will say, I think Milani is objectively number one.

[B]

Yeah. But do you ever. Do you remember this? You ever see Milani and you go, that's not the first lady. Yeah. You remember this? This is a porn star. Yeah. She's too hot. Yeah. It's too easy. You're like. Yeah.

[A]

And technically, she isn't even Trump's first lady.

[B]

Correct. Excellent.

[A]

Like, how could she be the first lady of America if she's not even Trumps?

[B]

I like that.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

I like that.

[A]

But Jackie O had a. Just a classic presidential.

[B]

She's just like, classic. Like New York back in the day. Hot. Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? Where it's kind of like. Yeah, she's down, man. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Nowadays, she'd be on, like, a TikTok reel, being like, what makes you confident?

[B]

I know.

[A]

And she'd be like, honestly, just, you know, I just read.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that would be. And they're like, no, you're hot.

[B]

I do love her. Her just. She's so iconic in terms. Almost more. I mean, not more, but it's rare with first ladies that have an iconic status almost just as much as their husbands.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

And her with fashion and. And. And I guess feminism, whatever you want

[A]

to say, whatever that is.

[B]

I guess it's just cool. I like that she kind of had her own. Her own trail afterwards. Dude. She just. She was cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I liked her a lot. Yeah. I wasn't alive for her, but I liked her. I like her story. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, thank goodness you weren't alive. You know what I mean? You might have slid. You might have slid on her one time.

[B]

This is from Brobible. Dot com. Yeah, bro. Michelle Obama, too. Oh, yeah. I agree with that entire first. I don't care what you say. She's hot. I. I completely agree. And I don't care if there's a penis under there.

[A]

Makes her hotter to me, honestly.

[B]

Right, fellas?

[A]

And then Grace Coolidge. I mean, let's. Let's flick.

[B]

Let me see her.

[A]

Yeah, let's flick up Grace Coolidge real quick.

[B]

Grace can be a hot name.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

This is President Calvin Kulage's wife.

[B]

That's. I mean, this.

[A]

We're.

[B]

We're going way back. This. This is going to be rough. Yeah.

[A]

Call that deep drop off. Steep drop.

[B]

Bro, that looks like you.

[A]

She's covered up the forehead, dude. That's smart.

[B]

No, that. I mean, number three.

[A]

That's a no. That's crazy.

[B]

Number three.

[A]

Number three is crazy.

[B]

There's.

[A]

There's no way.

[B]

What about, like, Jill Biden? Yeah.

[A]

Right? Yeah. Dr. Biden is objectively hotter than. Than what? Grace Coolidge?

[B]

Look, all respect. Yeah. No question.

[A]

And show me young. Give me a young Joe Biden. Yeah, because that's going to also pull up young Hillary. Yeah. Young Hillary. Dude, have you heard the young Hillary Sabrina Carpenter theory? Yeah.

[B]

No, I have not. What?

[A]

Yes, that they. That they might. That they're related.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Only because they kind of vaguely look like each other. But I saw some guy on Twitter throwing this around.

[B]

I mean, it's not. They kind of look related.

[A]

Dude, young Jill. Come on, bro. Come on, dude. Young Jill is a piece.

[B]

She cute, though, right? She cute.

[A]

Now and then pull up Hillary Sabrina Carpenter side by side. Young Hillary Sabrina Carpenter. If you search it, you'll find the same mentally a person on X that was posting about this. I hate saying X. I still say Twitter, for the record.

[B]

But. Yeah, I say Twitter, too. Yeah. Can't call it export.

[A]

Exactly. I don't cough on X. Oh, I see that. You can see it, right?

[B]

Click on it. Click that.

[A]

Click that.

[B]

Wow. I actually. That's crazy.

[A]

It's closer than you think. Like, they really do. Someone says it and you're like, dude, there's no way. And then you're like, hold on a second. Young Hillary Rodham with a weave. All of a sudden, she's. She's espresso, you know. Nice, right?

[B]

Look at that. I like that.

[A]

Anyway, unfortunately, our boy JFK doesn't have a happy ending.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So who kills jfk? Pop quiz.

[B]

Well, they say Lee Harvey Oswald.

[A]

That's the main story. This guy's a former Marine who defected to the Soviet Union comes back to the United States and is allegedly motivated by his Marxist beliefs as well as his disillusionment with American society.

[B]

Allegedly.

[A]

He fires three shots from the sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository, fatally wounds Kennedy, and then Oswald is captured later that day and was killed by a nightclub owner named Jack Ruby two days later before he could even stand trial. And the motives of Jack Ruby's assassination is still debated and contested to this day.

[B]

Yeah, it's a weird situation, man. Here's the weirdest thing about that to me that I always bring up when I have an argument about jail, kids,

[A]

assassinations, which is often.

[B]

Which is often. And I think this is real. If you could look this up, that they had. They had Lee Harvey Oswalt in said captivity

[A]

in the Texas zoo.

[B]

Yeah, they had him in. They had him in. What do you call it? Why can't I think of the word? He was arrested.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he was being interrogated for, like, 15 hours. Not one recording. They didn't record any of the interrogation.

[A]

That's wild.

[B]

Did you know that?

[A]

No, I did not know that.

[B]

This guy killed the President. And this is not like 19. This isn't like Woodrow Wilson. Like, they can't put a fucking, like, microphone. And this is like.

[A]

According to this, there's no recordings. It was standard in 1963 for police to not record interrogations, even in major cases. That seems wild, and I have a hard time believing that. He's interrogated for approximately 12 hours over two days by Dallas police, led by Captain Will Fritz, and they relied on handwritten notes. Oswald consistently denied any involvement and claimed that he was, quote, a patsy.

[B]

Yeah. It was standard in 1963 for people to also maybe, like, spray black people with hoses, you know what I mean? Like, what the. To not record interrogations.

[A]

The firemen really got off on that, by the way. Like, they really, like. They get no heat for that. Like, everyone here, everyone's like, dude, the cops suck. The firemen are awesome. I'm like, yeah, let's look at. What is it? Salem, Alabama, or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But Salem, Georgia.

[B]

I just think that's weird. Also, it was standard in 1963 for police not to record interrogations. Yeah. Of maybe like, some guy who was like. Like a Cool Hand Luke thing, like cutting the tops of parking meters off. Yeah, yeah. Off of the. You know what I mean? And stealing the money. This guy killed the president.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wouldn't you want to. You're just going to go off handwritten

[A]

notes at the very least, like, do A pod with him. You know what I mean? Like, just get his take. Like, just see what he's thinking about.

[B]

And also, like, everything with JFK was recorded. There's so many, like, from the White. All of his phone calls, if you follow, like, the JFK Presidential Library and Instagram, they're posting, like, his phone calls with Eisenhower, with, how do we have Johnson?

[A]

And.

[B]

Because they fucking recorded everything. That's what I'm saying is, like, everything was recorded and this is the guy who killed him. And you don't want to record anything he says.

[A]

Yeah, Weird, right?

[B]

Especially to use it. And if he's talking for 12 hours, it's not like he's sitting there silent. If you got all these handwritten notes and he's denying it, shouldn't you record that so it can be used against him in a court of law?

[A]

Yeah, you would think.

[B]

You would think.

[A]

Maybe they knew that he was never going to make it to a court of law.

[B]

I have a feeling they did.

[A]

And I wonder if after this whole deposition where they're interrogating him and they're like, hey, we don't really have much of a case here. Especially if he's able to testify where he was and he's able to corroborate witnesses. Well, maybe we need to get rid of him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And maybe there's a local gangster maybe connected with some nightclub that we could maybe pay to do this thing. Perhaps he could be seen as a hero. You know, take out the guy that killed the President and he rides off into the sunset. Little do we know that things don't end so well for Jack Ruby. They do not Jack Ruby, the guy that kills Lee Harvey Oswald, then he goes to prison. I don't even think he ever goes to trial. Can you double check that? I don't think he goes to trial because he's declared insane.

[B]

I see that. That might be true. Yeah.

[A]

And he's visited by a doctor named Jolly West. And Jolly west is obviously connected with MKUltra, Jolly Ranchers or MKUltra. Yeah, it's a classic mix of that. People actually mix that up all the time.

[B]

Get out. Jesus. Get out.

[A]

Which is crazy that his name is Jolly. I don't think that's his real name, but that's what people called him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that's the. The name people. People went by. And he's in prison and then kind of just ends up going. Going crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He examined Patrick Ruby or he examined Jack Ruby in prison.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A little suspect, all right.

[B]

Quite, quite suspect.

[A]

But Going back to the actual events that transpired that day. This is the story that we're told. Okay. And we're going to go through a bunch of these. This is not the only one. But basically we're told that Lee Harvey Oswald carries a long package which he tells co workers his curtain rods into a book depository.

[B]

Yes. Cuz his coworker gave him a ride to work that day.

[A]

And they're like, what's that giant box shaped like a gun? Like, oh, these are my, my curtain rods.

[B]

Curtain rod. I'm bringing curtain rods to work. Yeah.

[A]

Of course, at the book depository they need curtain rods.

[B]

Yeah, I'm putting curtain rods on the windows so nobody can shoot at the President.

[A]

Yeah, duh. I'm actually trying to save the day. Yeah, I'm not CIA either. And he's. They determine that inside that box is the disassembled rifle. Now, Governor Colony Connally. Governor Connally. His wife Nelly turns and makes a comment to Kennedy who's sitting behind her, and she says, Mr.

[B]

Sorry, that was a Nelly joke.

[A]

Yeah, that's Nelly Furtado. Yeah, sorry, Nelly Furtado.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There she is.

[B]

Put her in the top three. Yeah.

[A]

All sweet Nelly. She's there that day. She's in the car. She's sitting there and it's. That's, that's what the car is. It's the driver. You have Governor Connolly, his wife Nelly. Then you have JFK and of course Jackie O. And she turns and says, Mr. President, they can't make you believe now that there's not some in Dallas who love and appreciate you, can they? Because the whole thing is like, oh, you got JFK going to Texas. Are they going to like him? You know, I mean, he's Catholic, like, oh my God, you know, so he goes there and then there's this massive parade and you know, motorcade, and all these people are standing there cheering him on, so excited to see the President. And he turns to her and says, no, they sure can't. Those are allegedly his last words. Yep. Now, within one second of each other, Governor Connolly and Mrs. Kennedy turn abruptly from their left to the right. Connolly, who himself is an experienced hunter, immediately recognizes the sound of a rifle and turns his head. Noting something strange, he testifies that he couldn't see Kennedy. So he started to turn forward again and that is when his head was facing 20 degrees left of center. He struck in the upper right back by a shot he didn't hear and then shouted, my God, they're going to kill us. Do you have a friend that buys gold instead of crypto because he doesn't trust the Internet. That's a power move. You got a buddy that has like a backup generator and a bunch of canned food and somehow knows that a blackout's coming before the power company does. That's a power move. And you have a friend that hired Morgan. And Morgan, well, guess what? That's a power move. Yep. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm with over 100 offices nationwide and over a thousand lawyers. They've recovered over $30 billion from more than 500,000 clients in Florida. They secured a $644 million verdict after the defense argued that the victim and his wife should get nothing. That is a power move. So if you are ever injured, you can check out Morgan Morgan. And their fee is free. Unless they win. To for the people.comGagnon or dial pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. That is for the people.comGagnOn. this is a paid advertisement. Now, the Warren Commission that was put together after this, they conclude a single bullet theory, and it's called, oftentimes the magic bullet theory.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Governor Connelly was injured by the same bullet that exited Kennedy's neck. And that bullet created an oval shaped entry wound near his right shoulder. And it struck and destroyed several inches of Connolly's fifth rib and then exited his chest just below the nipple, puncturing and collapsing his lung. That same bullet then enters his arm just above his right wrist and then shatters his radius bone. The bullet exited just below the wrist at the inner side of the right palm and then finally was lodged in his thigh.

[B]

I mean, might be the most stupid theory.

[A]

No, this is facts. This is facts from the American government. And if you don't believe, you're a traitor.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Can you pull up a picture of the magic theory diagram?

[B]

This episode is going to get us killed.

[A]

One boy is going to take all of us out.

[B]

Yeah, dude, it's a.

[A]

It's a pretty wild thing. I'm just saying what the facts are. Okay? This is documented facts from the Warren Commission led by Alan Dulles.

[B]

It's so fudgeing. Stupid. It's so stupid.

[A]

The diagram is really wild. If you.

[B]

You also heard of how they got the bullet back. Have you heard this? Oh, yeah.

[A]

They find it on the stretcher.

[B]

They find it on the stretcher because when they were doing CPR and jfk, the bullet that is somehow the magic bullet. And I could be wrong on this. Don't come at me in the comments, but this bullet that enters through him, through his. So first of all, it goes through his, it looks like his shoulder, then out of his neck, then into him, into Connolly's arm, wrist and left knee, left thigh. That they're doing CPR on JFK at Parkland Hospital, trying to revive him, whatever on Connolly.

[A]

I think they're, I think they're trying to work on Connolly and that's where they find. It's on his stretcher.

[B]

Well, they said that the bullet came through the back wound hole of his back of JFK's back.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

I looked at Jamie pull it up. I think that could be. I believe that's what I red that that's where it came. Why is it on the street? Also, why is the bullet perfectly intact? This went through two guys and multiple

[A]

parts on both of them. Shatters ribs, shatters his wrist, goes into his thigh, and then ends up on a stretcher.

[B]

Also, why would Lee Harvey not take the shot of him coming down. He had a clearer shot of him coming down the other street before he hits Elm.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I went to the Depository in Dallas.

[A]

So did I.

[B]

And you go up to the window and you take a little peeksie and you go, I think I could, I think I could hit this guy. And I don't think you could. I mean, you could certainly hit him.

[A]

That's. I, I do a joke about this, but like, in brief, it's like it's, it's a strange national tragedy because, like they let you go to the window.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And they let you just like try it out. I mean, like. Yeah, like that's the, like there's no flight simulator at the 911 memorial.

[B]

That's how I'm saying that is how comfortable they are in the COVID up. They're like, see for your. Yeah.

[A]

And then, and then most dudes go up there and they're like, yeah, maybe, maybe. Yeah, I could, I could maybe do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They got a big X on the ground, so you could just like kind of line it up. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. Now, according to this, it says, oh, no, this is just the magic bullet theory. I'll tell you about where the, the stretcher thing. So this is from a little Google search here. It says the official story is that they go to Parkland Hospital and they find. Find the bullet on Connolly's stretcher.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The Warren Commission concluded that it had fallen from Governor Colony's stretcher and then was passed. That passed through JFK's neck, Connelly's back ribs, wrist and thigh. And then they found it on Connolly's stretcher.

[B]

Now, okay, so it was on his. His stretcher.

[A]

Yeah. So you're basically right, but just.

[B]

But I. I do believe one of the doctors at Parkland said that they were doing CPR and jfk, and they say they found another bullet. Yes. And also the exit entrance wound. That's another interesting thing to get into. Yeah. Because you look at that.

[A]

I mean, crazy. Yeah. Can you scroll up and look at the bullet? I mean, come on. It's made of wood.

[B]

Like, there's.

[A]

How. It's a wooden bullet, dude. There's no way it's gonna blast through

[B]

two dudes and you.

[A]

I mean, crazy.

[B]

The entrance and exit wound was the wrong angle, right? The wrong angle. Well, they also did a. Whatever, a tracheotomy or whatever they did for the autopsy. So they opened his wound up even more so they couldn't tell if it was an entrance or an exit wound.

[A]

Come on, guys.

[B]

Did you know that?

[A]

It was a different time. Dude, it was the 60s. They don't record interrogations.

[B]

Have you ever seen the guy? So you went to the thing. Did you. Did you talk to the guy sitting outside who's got the pictures of his.

[A]

No.

[B]

Of his autopsy?

[A]

No. Time traveler.

[B]

I'm gonna pull this up because I took pictures of the book.

[A]

Who? The guy's an author.

[B]

The guy? Yeah. He wrote a book. Hang on. I went in June.

[A]

You went recently. Oh, this is last year.

[B]

Yeah, I went this past summer. So there's a guy sitting out the back who has these. These are apparently his autopsy photos.

[A]

Okay, so what is it?

[B]

So this is his head. Whoa. And that is the back where the bullet supposedly comes through.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or exits. Mm.

[A]

Maybe saying that he was hit in the front.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Because his head does kind of whip back in a way.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like on the Zapruder film.

[B]

See of that. This is like a colorized. Whoa. Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy. How does he have these pictures? Are these publicly available?

[B]

These were released. I believe he said he got permission to go look at them in the archives from the family.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

I believe is what he said. But that is wild. Yeah.

[A]

These are crazy pictures.

[B]

They could be fake.

[A]

So here's Nana Banana.

[B]

That's when they did the.

[A]

I've seen this one before.

[B]

Yeah. So there's that. That's the head.

[A]

Crazy. I mean, a brutal wound for, like, a nice, intact bullet, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just seems so strange.

[B]

Who's the guy? Marshall Evans.

[A]

Shout out To Marshall, he.

[B]

If he wrote this book called jfk, the Reckoning. And that was the guy who was out there showing us.

[A]

And how was it when you talked to him? Cool.

[B]

Yeah, but it was cool. But then you go, that's that guy's whole day. Yeah.

[A]

Talking to you.

[B]

And that's his life.

[A]

But you know what? It's also my whole day. I was talking to you.

[B]

That is true.

[A]

You know, so how different are me?

[B]

And so he. I believe he said he got permission to look at those.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And took pictures of them before they were pulled back into the archives.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Before they were put back into the archives and not to be seen.

[A]

Can I. Can I use those? We might get demonetized, but maybe we put them on Patreon or something.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Afterwards.

[B]

Afterwards.

[A]

Did you know there's another guy that dies that day?

[B]

Oh, yeah. J.D. tippett.

[A]

Exactly. Right. Yeah. So Oswald leaves the Depository, travels by bus to a boarding house, where then he gets a jacket and a revolver. At 1:12pm Police officer J.D. tippett spotted Oswald walking in a residential neighborhood of Oak Cliff and called him over to his patrol car. After they kind of chatted for a little, Tippett exited his vehicle. Oswald then allegedly shot Tibbett three times in the chest. As Tibbett laid on the ground, Oswald filed, fired a final shot into his head. Oswald then calmly walked away before running as a witness emerged. Yeah. Strange. Now, of course, JFK is now getting taken to be examined by a guy named Earl Rose and basically insisted that Texas law required him to perform an autopsy. A heated exchange between Kennedy's aides and the Dallas officials erupted almost into a fistfight before the Texans yielded and allowed Kennedy's body to be transported to Air Force One. Now, under pressure from Kennedy's family and the White House staffers to expedite the procedure, the physicians conducted what they call a rushed, an incomplete autopsy. Three years after the autopsy, Kennedy's brain, which had been removed and preserved for later analysis, was missing. Goes missing when Kennedy's family transferred materials to the National Archives.

[B]

Where does that brain go, Epstein? A lot of people. A lot of people got it. A lot of people think RFK took it.

[A]

Wow. Why is that theory? I mean, you're talking about, like, Bobby Kennedy, the older one. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Rfk. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. That was just a theory that people had.

[A]

Why would he want it to, like, remember his bro?

[B]

I don't know. I have a feeling. The brain, obviously. I mean, I don't Know, it could be anywhere. I have a feeling it's, it got destroyed. Yeah. Just for.

[A]

It could be anywhere. It's kind of funny. It couldn't be anywhere. It's not in here. I don't have it.

[B]

No, but it could be like just some, some lady's attic. Imagine like, like an old guitar. Yeah.

[A]

It's not gonna be a show up on Antique Roadshow. And she's like, yeah, I have this

[B]

old brain and this whole brain. I don't know where I put the other half, but I have had the creative side. Yeah.

[A]

Now the forensic pathology panel concluded that the autopsy had extensive failings including failure to take sufficient photographs, failure to determine the exact exit or entry points of the head bullet, not dissecting the back and neck, and neglecting to determine the angles of gunshot injuries relative to body axis. So one of the panel members, this guy Milton Halpern, said that selecting Humes, who had only taken a single course on forensic pathology to lead the autopsy was like quote, sending a seven year old boy who had taken three lessons on the violin to the Newark Philharmonic to perform a Tchaikovsky symphony. Which is quite an eloquent quote, you know, for a guy just to kind of like pull out of nowhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Be like, to be like referencing like Tchaikovsky. Like he could just easily been like, it's like sending a four year old to a math test. Yeah. You know, it's like he didn't have to say all these other words, but you get the point.

[B]

I get the point.

[A]

The guy doing it apparently was, he was not very experienced. Now what happens to Lee Harvey Oswald? We've referenced this a little bit before, but he gave a testimony to the press.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And says he's a patsy. And then on Sunday, November 24, Oswald is being escorted to a car in the basement of Dallas from to a car in the basement of Dallas police headquarters for transfer from the city jail to the county jail. And then he's shot by Jack Ruby. The shooting is broadcast on live tv.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How crazy is that?

[B]

Very crazy.

[A]

You could see like video, like there's pictures like this guy just getting merc. It's crazy. And then Ruby testified to the Warren Commission that he had been distraught by Kennedy's death and that killing Oswald would spare, quote, Mrs. Kennedy from Discomfiture of coming back to trial. So he kind of was trying to white night for Jackie up.

[B]

Yeah, I, I, I get that. But also like her husband's head exploded all over her lap.

[A]

Yeah,

[B]

I think the trial is going to be okay.

[A]

You know what I mean, true, I'm

[B]

sure the trial would suck. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But compared to your husband's brain being

[B]

all over your thigh, exploding all over your nice dress.

[A]

A beautiful dress.

[B]

A beautiful dress.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is also in the archives.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's not to be seen by the public until all of somebody's dead.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, I don't think it'll ever be seen, but it's. It's in the archive. Like it's still in there.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

They have that pink dress and everything. And his suit and all that shit, right? Yeah.

[A]

Dang, that's. That's wild to have a suit. Why not? Why not put it on display? It's a piece of American history.

[B]

I agree. I don't think that should be seen.

[A]

You don't think so? No, too morbid.

[B]

I think there's enough stuff. There's enough stuff in museums.

[A]

The museums are full. Yeah, they're at capacity.

[B]

Yeah. It was given to the archives in 2003.

[A]

In the least until 2103.

[B]

If I start working out, we could. I could make it.

[A]

You might, dude. Honestly, if you get on Peptides. Yeah, that might be worth getting on Peptides. Just to see.

[B]

Just to see it.

[A]

Right? I mean, how long is. I mean that's. You might be on the edge.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I would be. 102.

[A]

The whole JFK files were cautioned off for like 50 years, so. Right.

[B]

Yeah. There's no pictures of it though.

[A]

No, there's no picture of the dress at all things really. I mean, there must be like recreations and stuff.

[B]

It's in a climate controlled acid free container.

[A]

Yeah, crazy.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Now, Ruby testified that he wanted to help out Jackie O. That's kind of the whole story. And then Ruby was then seen by Dr. Jolly west who is connected to MK Ultra and he was declared insane and then died before his second trial. If I believe correctly, his first trial was like inconclusive. And they then were going to try him again and they were like, we don't need this to go to another trial.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so this MK Ultra doctor just said that he was gonna. He was all done. Allegedly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's it. Now the investigation starts. And on the Evening of November, November 22, Dallas Police perform what they call a paraffin test on Oswald's hands and right cheek in an effort to establish whether or not he had recently fired a weapon. The results were positive for the hands and negative for the right cheek. They then threw out the test. Now, LBJ requested that the warren Commission is then set up by Justice Earl Warren and included Alan Dulles. And then upon examining these, the Zapruder film, which is obviously the infamous video that everyone's seen it, they commission staffers that are on the job and they realize that the FBI's gunshot theory is then impossible. The reaction times of Kennedy and Connolly are too close to have been caused by two bullets from Oswald. The reaction interval was less than 2.3 seconds that it would take to reload. This was one of the commission's most crucial findings, that a single bullet caused the non fatal wounds of Kennedy and Connolly. And they found the intact bullet and it was on the stretcher. Now, the story is that perhaps they found the bullet as they were getting them out of the car and then placed it on the stretcher when they were loading him on and the head jerking back. That whole motion is attributed to what they call neuromuscular contractions or propulsion from brain matter from the frontal fellows. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Look, life is about preparation. You got to prepare for a camping trip, for your job, for a podcast, and you got to prepare for all of the things happening in your life. And, you know, sometimes when the vibe is right, everyone's, you know, being an adult, you're on the same page. Sometimes people forget to prepare for the bedroom. And that's why you need Blue Chew Gold. Bluechew Gold is going to take you to the next level in the bedroom. It combines four ingredients into one powerful solution. Two to support you physically, two to support arousal and desire in the brain. And it works in just as fast as 15 minutes and will make you feel more confident with bedroom matters amongst only married relationships. That's how I promote it, okay? I think it only should be within the sanctity of marriage trying to create children, okay? I'm a Catholic. That's what I believe. Now, Bluechew is great because if you go to bluechew.com, not only are you going to get the number one brand for better bedroom experiences, you're also going to get a little deal right now. If you buy two months of Bluechew Gold, you're going to get the third month free with the promo code Gagnon. That's G A G N O N. You're also going to get an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your very first order. When you visit bluechew.com use the promo code Gagnon and you can check out more details and important safety information. Thanks so much, Bluechew. Let's get back to the show. So they conduct. It's the hsca, the United States House Selection Committee on Assassinations conducted its inquiry until 1978 and then issued its final report the following year, concluding that Kennedy was likely assassinated as a result of a conspiracy from Lee Harvey Oswald. And they concluded that there was a high probability that it's possible that there was a fourth shot fired from grassy knoll. But they stated that this shot missed Kennedy. So they said. They acknowledged that there's a grassy knoll theory, but that it had had no role in his death.

[B]

They also found a bullet that hit the sidewalk, too.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So that's another unaccounted for bullet, I believe.

[A]

Strange.

[B]

Very weird.

[A]

The whole thing is strange.

[B]

The whole thing is very weird.

[A]

I try to jump off the deep end with these things, but it's one of those. You're like. I think that's the one that the majority. It's like conspiracy theory that most Americans believe is that he was not killed by a single magic bullet.

[B]

Yeah. Also, there was like, smoke that came from. There was, I think, a dozen reports of people seeing smoke from behind the white fence on the grassy knoll. That was from a gun.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I didn't know. And then everyone being interviewed on the knolls, like, the shots came from over there.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's weird. And I believe the Warren Commission did come out, too, and said, we fucked that report up. Yeah. A lot of the guys on that report were like, that was a botched. We fucked that up.

[A]

Now the question is, was the mob? I'm sure you've heard the mob theories.

[B]

I don't think it was the mob, honestly. I think it was JFK dismantling. He wanted to get rid of the CIA. He didn't want to go into Vietnam. I think he was a pretty disliked guy by a lot of people in his circles. And unfortunately that. I think this stuff happens all the time. Yeah. And it just happened on a grand scale as he was the president.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think people get killed all the time. Yeah.

[A]

You know, and I also think, like, I've heard a theory within the CIA, like, especially back in the 60s, there's like rogue factions. So you have like the CIA, like, you know, official. You have like all, like the top brass, like, you know, all the people actually running the show. But then you kind of have like these internal little cliques of people that kind of can go rogue and kind of do their own things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I've heard that theory. And that kind of makes the most sense to me, like, I don't know if this was like, coming from the top people within, you know, Langley being like, hey, this is what we're going to do. But I could see a couple guys internally being like, hey, we have a lot of vested interests. We have a lot of people that are connected to me politically or financially that want, you know, this war in Vietnam. They want these other types of, you know, military actions. And they definitely aren't going to mess up my job here at the CIA because he's trying to dismantle us and try to reorganize us.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It might be easier if we just take him out. And we know how to do it 100%. Now, JFK was, as we know, not the first president to be assassinated and was certainly not the first assassination attempt. One of the earliest that is most interesting to me is a guy named Andrew Jackson.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

January 30, 1835. There's a guy named Richard Lawrence. He's an unemployed house painter. And Lawrence abruptly quits his house painting job. And then he's questioned by his sister and his brother in law with whom he was living. Lawrence says that the US Government owed him a large amount of money and that he didn't need to work. This is what Richard Lawrence is saying. Lawrence had come to believe that he was owed money because he was actually not Richard Lawrence. He was actually Richard III of England and he owned two English estates. Lawrence became convinced that President Andrew Jackson's opposition to the Second bank of the United States was preventing the distribution of money that he believed he was entitled to. Yeah. So he felt that if Jackson were no longer in office, Vice President Martin Van Buren would establish a national bank and then allow Congress to pay him all the money for his English estate. Now, what's interesting is that this guy is a notorious house painter. Have you ever heard of the Mad Hatter or like the Mad Hatter phenomena? You've probably seen it in like Alice in Wonderland. The idea of the Mad Hatter comes from this story where or not a story. I guess it was like a. A known phenomenon like these hatters that were putting glue on hats were using a mercury glue and as a result of high contact with mercury, it caused them to go crazy.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. So the Mad Hatter effect. This is a form of chronic mercury poisoning that historically affected 18th and 19th century hat makers. And it caused mood swings, paranoia, hallucinations, et cetera. And it has been connected to people that work in all sorts of creative fields, specifically with exposure to paint now, people think that that's what happened to this guy, Richard. And so what he does is he approaches Andrew Jackson as he left a Congressional funeral home or a congressional funeral held at the House chamber of the Capitol Building, and he shot him. But the crazy part is that his gun misfired. So Andrew Jackson, 67 years old, is pissed that this guy tried to kill him. So what does Andrew Jackson do? He confronts the attacker and then clubs him several times with his walking cane.

[B]

His wife, basically. Yeah, can.

[A]

Yeah. I don't even know if the wife thing is on the record. That might be just kind of like an internal story.

[B]

He could have done it.

[A]

He could have. We don't know. He. They don't say that. He doesn't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is a recreation. The gun misfires, and they jams him up with the cane.

[B]

It's like the most looking picture I've ever seen in my life.

[A]

She ain't trying to shoot me.

[B]

See, I'm the guy on the popcorn.

[A]

I mean, he does look like the Planter's peanut a little bit.

[B]

He looks like Orville Redenbacher. Yeah.

[A]

So during this whole scuffle, Lawrence managed to pull out a second gun, a second loaded pistol, and he pulls the trigger of the second pistol, and the second pistol also misfires. Jackson's aids then wrestle Lawrence away from the President, leaving Andrew Jackson unharmed, but pissed off. And from this day forward, very paranoid. And this is this exact thing that Lawrence was mentally unstable with no connection to Jackson or any of Andrew Jackson's political rivals or anything like that. But the crazy thing is that Andrew Jackson was then convinced that Lawrence had been hired by the Whig Party to assassinate him. So now this crazy guy goes on this rampage trying to kill Andrew Jackson. Andrew Jackson's like, oh, you're not crazy. These guys set you up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this is like the first conspiracy. So Jackson's Democrats and the Whigs were locked in a battle over Jackson's attempt to dismantle the bank of the United States. And so his vice president, Martin Van Buren, was also wary, and therefore, after that, carried two pistols with him every time he was visiting the Senate. Pretty crazy.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

Now, a century later, the Smithsonian researchers conduct a study on this guy's guns, the derringers that he used to try to kill him. And the odds of the both guns misfiring is like one in a million. Like one misfiring is like, you know, one in 200,000. For both to misfire is crazy. And the theory is that the humidity is what caused the jam, that it was a super humid day and that the guns were just jamming from the humidity. Really crazy, right? And then he's prosecuted in court. So Richard Lawrence gets prosecuted, and he gets prosecuted by a man who you've probably heard of. His name is Francis. Dude.

[B]

Imagine that'd be crazy.

[A]

He comes back, he's there. He's prosecuted by Francis Scott Key.

[B]

Really?

[A]

The guy that wrote the national anthem.

[B]

I just went to Fort McHenry in Baltimore where they wrote that.

[A]

Wow. So right before he wrote that, he was prosecuting the guy that tried to kill Andrew Jackson.

[B]

Here's the theory. What do you think about this? We can cut this out if you don't like it. He's gonna sleeve. Do you think that. Cause, you know, JFK famously started trying to get the civil rights shit going. Mm. He was also the first president, I don't know if you know this, to not wear a top hat. No, he was like the first guy to not wear em. Like, like Eisenhower. Like all these guys beforehanded. Do you think that this mercury and all the hats was making all these presidents hate black people? Look what happens in a short amount of time, right? President stop wearing top hats. Things start getting a little better.

[A]

I need to see that.

[B]

Great.

[A]

I need to see that, like, school chart of the presidents. And I just, I don't. I want to. I don't care their political party. I just want to know, do they like black people or not? It's going to be. Didn't like them, didn't like them. Didn't like them. Didn't like them. Top hats come off. Loves them.

[B]

I think there's something there.

[A]

Right. Have you heard this one? The first president that was born in a hospital. No. Who, who, who would you say is the first president born in a hospital?

[B]

I'm going to really take a real guess at this here.

[A]

Just take a swing. Nixon, not far off.

[B]

Lbj.

[A]

Jimmy Carter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jimmy Carter was the first president born a Hospital in 1924.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy to think about.

[B]

Yeah. But also, like, if you go all the way up to like. Yeah. All those guys are just being like, born in. In fucking metal troughs, like in their house, you know.

[A]

Carter wild, right? JFK was born at the Kennedy family home in Brooklyn, Massachusetts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wild, right?

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

Like when you think about like the, the speed of.

[B]

But, but you go back and you look. It's like the birthplace of all that. Like all those, like Elvis, Johnny Cat, they were all just being born in just their houses.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't think it was as conventional, I think, to go to the hospital and have your baby.

[A]

Where was my baby born? My apartment.

[B]

Was it really? Yeah. Wow.

[A]

So he could be president. That's what I'm saying. Because we're top hat. Yeah. Oh, no, no. He does not wear a top hat. He hates top hats. And he loves white people, even though

[B]

they're water by chance. So thank you.

[A]

Francis Scott Key is now putting this guy on trial. That's legit crazy. And he says in court, this is how crazy he is. He's in court being like, dude, you tried to kill Andrew Jackson.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With two different guns that both failed. And he says, it is for me, gentlemen, to pass judgment on you and not you upon me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The jury deliberated for five minutes. Pretty crazy.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Yeah. And they were like, yeah, this guy's insane.

[B]

It's obviously.

[A]

He did it. And what's wild is that this was the very first assassination conspiracy. So every assassination since then has obviously been steeped in conspiracy from, you know, from the get. From the get go, whether it's, you know, Reagan's attempt or, you know, Trump's attempts, stuff like that. But the. This is what's wild. Jackson was convinced that John C. Calhoun, his vp, attempted to have him killed. Senator George Poindexter of Mississippi lost re election because of the accusations of assassination. So he was like, the people were pointing fingers, and literally this guy loses his reelection because they were like, you were involved in the plot and. Yeah. Pretty wild.

[B]

That is wild.

[A]

Now we can go wherever you want. Do you want to. Do you want to tell me another assassination? I'll tell you. We can go through it or you want. Do you want?

[B]

Yeah, we can go through.

[A]

Dealer's choice.

[B]

Whatever you want to go through. I'm more. I'm the most versed on jfk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So anyone you want to go.

[A]

Go through Lincoln. This was. This. This one. This was wild. There's a lot of details in here that are pretty crazy. Yeah. So who does it? John Wilkes Booth. Where does it happen? The Ford's Theater. And why Andrew Jackson.

[B]

Not.

[A]

Andrew Jackson had nothing to do with this.

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

He's completely innocent. He's been vindicated. It's. He's a Confederate sympathizer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. And a famous actor, which is crazy. He's born into a prominent acting family.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he and his two brothers, the. John Wilkes Booth, not Lincoln. John Wilkes Booth and his two brothers were super famous, which is pretty crazy because his father's name, John Wilkes Booth's dad is named Junius Brutus Booth. Junius Brutus. That's his actual name.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you know anything about Junius Brutus, that is literally the guy who murdered Julius Caesar. Julius Caesar.

[B]

Andrew Jackson.

[A]

How crazy is that? His dad is named after the guy that killed the leader of Rome.

[B]

Crazy, right?

[A]

Like what? Like, it's like if this was in a movie, you'd be like, oh, gosh. Or like, obviously. So he's very handsome. Everyone loves, you know, John Wilkes Booth. And what's crazy is that Lincoln actually saw John Wilkes Booth perform. So family friend John T. Ford opened a 1500 seat theater at, you know, the Ford's Theater on November 9th. And Booth was one of the first leading men to appear there in a play called the Marble Heart. In this play, Booth portrayed a Greek sculptor in costume making marble statues come to life. Lincoln watched the play from that same box that he's killed in. And at one point during the performance, Booth is said to have shaken his finger in Lincoln's direction as he delivered a line of dialogue. Lincoln's sister in law was sitting next to him in the same presidential box. And she turns to him and says, Mr. Lincoln, it seems like he was, you know, he meant that one for you. And the President replied, he does look pretty sharp to me, doesn't he? On another occasion, Lincoln's son Tad saw Booth perform. Lincoln said, todd, oh no. Tad, his son Ted saw Booth perform and he said that the actor thrilled him, prompting Booth to give Tad a rose. Booth ignored an invitation to visit Lincoln between acts of that play. Crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So the guy that kills Lincoln is. Lincoln's on stage in the same box watching him perform, you know, years earlier. Crazy wild, right? And there's a statue of Shakespeare in Central park today, and it's paid for by the production of Julius Caesar that starred both the Booth boys. There's a statue today that's still connected to it. And the reason he did is because he was a big Confederate sympathizer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you know, he was from Maryland and at the time, all of Maryland was like very split. So Edwin Booth, the brother, he was a Unionist and he refused to perform in the South. John was into it and he was going to the south all the time and was even smuggling quinine into the Confederacy in the south in order to help the Confederate soldiers with malaria.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is pretty crazy. Like, these guys are like, this guy's like an actor, but also like, I'm going to kill the President.

[B]

Yeah. It's crazy, right? Also, I mean, here's theory too, about him being alive. Do you ever read about that?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Did we get into that?

[A]

We'll jump in. All right, so it's a. He's basically pissed. So now the assassination. All right. It's pretty crazy because Booth is actually arrested before this. And.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like he's like captured at one point. He. Yeah, this is a wild one. He's arrested in St. Louis while on a theater tour when he was heard saying that he wished the President. The whole damn government would go to hell.

[B]

Hell.

[A]

And he was charged with making treasonous claims. Arrested and then released. Typical DA in St. Louis, you know, capturing a guy and releasing him back to the people. Crazy.

[B]

Harvey Dent.

[A]

Yeah. So he has a kidnapping plan first, but then he's like, I don't think the kidnapping thing is going to work. And then he goes, we're going for assassination.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So Booth goes to get his mail at the Ford's Theater and hears Lincoln is going to be there that night to go see My American Cousin. Later that night at 8:45, Booth informed this guy Powell and then this other guy, Harold and this other guy Asdarod. These are all the other accomplices of his intention to kill Lincoln. And then he assigned Powell to assassinate Head of Secretary of State William Seward. And then he tells Astaroth to then do the same thing to Vice President Andrew Johnson. And then Harold was going to assist them on their escape. Pretty crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The theater's packed with soldiers and military personnel. He went into the theater at 10 o', clock, shoots the President in the head and then stabbed a major in the army. He jumps on the stage, holds up a knife and then says, sic semper tyrannous. Which literally means like Andrew Jackson.

[B]

Means Andrew Jackson.

[A]

It's all connected. It all goes back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it literally means thus always to tyrants. And. Yeah, it's just wild that this was like his plan. He's like, kill the President, jump on stage, have a big show and then run out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like assassin assassinations back in the day are pretty easy.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

You just walk up to the President, like, how is there no security?

[B]

Yeah, Right. It's very easy back in the day.

[A]

It's wild that that's all it took. Just like. Yep. Bang.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he tries. He escapes into Maryland, stays in an inn. And then Robert E. Lee is also present and expresses regret at Lincoln's death. Or Robert E. Lee is not present, but he expresses regret at Lincoln's death by Booth. And there was Reactions across the board. Some people were happy, some people were sad. And then they do a train procession of Lincoln's body. Have you ever seen this? They literally put Lincoln's body on a train and process him around the country. And 1.5 million people see Lincoln's body on the train procession.

[B]

Open casket.

[A]

I don't think it was ever.

[B]

Oh, it's just the casket.

[A]

They just put them on top of the tree. Yeah, yeah, Just lay them on.

[B]

Weekend to burn him.

[A]

I think it's just like the casket is, like, moving through.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then they write. They send a bunch of people to try to go find them. So Union soldiers are dispatched. They try to go track them down.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So there it is.

[B]

That's the.

[A]

The train procession. 1.5 million people. I think they use it for fuel.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's a steam engine.

[B]

Is it in there?

[A]

I don't know where it is. I'm assuming.

[B]

Maybe it's got to be guarded by those guys in the back. Maybe.

[A]

I think that's the engine dude. I think.

[B]

I think.

[A]

Yeah, I think he's probably there.

[B]

Yeah. It's that thing.

[A]

That's his cast. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's pretty crazy because the. The rest of the plan goes terribly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Powell was able to stab the Secretary of State who was bedridden as a result of an earlier accident with a carriage. And then the Secretary of State, Seward, or Seward, was wounded, but he survives. Asterod loses his nerve and spends the night just drinking alcohol in a bar. And then never even tries to kill the Vice President Johnson.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Lincoln dies near his family with his son, Robert Todd Lincoln.

[B]

There's also a thing that comes about. So he went to an inn. I believe he stayed at a guy's house. Mud, which is where the term you're in the mud comes from. What, like dragging your name through the mud and shit?

[A]

No way.

[B]

Comes from. Because this guy took in Lee Harvey Ridley. Harvey took in John Wilson. Jackson took in John Wilkes Booth. And that looked really bad on his record to take him in because he broke his ankle.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I would look that up. If that's true or not about the mud thing.

[A]

That's wild.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I could see dragging your name through the mud just being like

[B]

it's a dirty name.

[A]

There's mud.

[B]

Yeah. But saying, like, you're in the mud.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It comes from that, I believe, because

[A]

he just tried to help a wounded guy.

[B]

Yeah. Samuel Mudd.

[A]

Samuel Mudd. He was a physician who was in prison for conspiring with John Wilkes Booth concerning the assassination. Wow. So, yeah. Booth shoots Lincoln, and he's injured in his escape from the scene. And he subsequently rode with conspirer David Harold to Mudd's home for surgery on his fractured leg. Wow. That's crazy. I had no idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So now John Wilkes Booth is on the run. Union soldiers dispatch. They try to find him. They track down all of his accomplices, and they found him at the Garrett family farm. His accomplice, Harold, surrendered, but Booth wanted to fight, so they set the barn on fire, and as he panicked, they shot him in the blaze.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he got in trouble because they were supposed to take him alive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So his last words were, tell my mother I died for my country. And then asking. They asked him to raise his hands to his face that he could so that he could see them. Booth uttered his last words. He said, useless. Useless.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, random guess. How old do you think John Wilkes Booth was?

[B]

I believe he was. I could be wrong. I think he was 23, 26. Yeah.

[A]

But like, mid-20s.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

How old is Lee Harvey, too, though?

[A]

That's a good point.

[B]

Yeah. All these guys.

[A]

Because as a kid, I'm like, all These guys are 50.

[B]

Thomas Matthew Crooks was 19. Yeah.

[A]

I wonder if assassin's Q. Young, right?

[B]

Dude, some guy, I forget his name. I can't give him full credit. Do you ever hear that guy's joke about the assassinations, the assassins? He said something like, you ever notice, like, all the assassins? This is like, right when Trump got shot. He was like, they all got three. Three name names. It's like, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wilkes Booth. Thomas Matthew Crookston's like, why is it? And he's like, oh, I know. It's because they're all in really big trouble. Like Lee Harvey Oswald, the President.

[A]

That's funny. Yeah, that's really funny.

[B]

Great joke.

[A]

So it's a. A pretty. Pretty solemn day, you know, the war was. Was basically done. They did it. And. Oh, wait, how old? 24. 24. Lee Harvey Oswald.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Crazy. Now, there's a letter that John Wil Booth writes to his sister while he's on the run. He says this. I know how foolish I shall be, Dean, for undertaking a step such as this, where on one side I have many friends and everything to make me happy. To give it all up seems insane, but God is my judge. I love justice more than I do a country that disowns it, more than fame or wealth. Crazy. And, yeah, all the conspirators were hung some were imprisoned. Even the dude that held his horse, literally, he goes in the theater, he's like, hey, I'm gonna be right back. Can you just watch my car for a sec?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The guy that held the horse, that didn't even know what was going on, he gets imprisoned for six years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now there's, of course, a lot of conspiracies around John Wilkes Booth.

[B]

I don't know if I believe those as much as I do.

[A]

The JFK stuff, it's just farther away. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's hard to, like, it's hard to really pin. But the theories are. Are interesting. Some say that it wasn't actually John Wilkes Booth that died, but it was a lookalike who was mistakenly killed at the farm in the fire. That Booth basically eluded all the. All the Union soldiers. And so there's all sorts of different theories. Some say that he went to Japan. There's been all sorts of people on their deathbed that say, like, oh, I'm actually John Wilkes Booth. In December of 2010, descendants of Edwin Booth reported that they obtained permission to exhume the actor's body and obtain DNA samples to compare with a sample of his brother John's DNA to refute the rumor that John had escaped after the assassination. Bree Harvey, a spokeswoman from the cemetery in Cambridge where Edwin Booth was buried in, denied reports that the family had ever contacted them and requested to exhume the body. The family hoped to obtain samples of John Wilkes DNA from remains from the vertebrae in Maryland. And on March 30, 2013, museum spokesperson announced that the family's request to extract DNA from the vertebrae had been rejected. And so that just you know, continues to. Just continues to raise questions. Some believe that one of Lincoln's Secretaries of War, Edwin Stanton, was actually the one behind it, and that he conspired with Booth to make the killing. And the theory is this, that he basically had the most to gain. That Lincoln's assassination was the result of a conspiracy involving the Secretary of War, Edward Stanton, as well as the Chief of National Police, this guy Lafayette Baker, and a bunch of other people basically trying to stop Lincoln from carrying out his lenient reconstructionist policies towards the South. That theory has not been confirmed at all, but pretty insane. Now, there's one more ripple of this that is just so coincidental, it's almost hard to believe Lincoln's son had actually saved Andrew Jackson.

[B]

I'm sorry, no.

[A]

Yes, but close.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He saved John Wilkes Booth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this incident occurred while a Group of passengers were late at night purchasing cars on a train, trying to sleep from a conductor who stood at the station platform. The platform is about, like, the height of a car floor, and there was a narrow space between the platforms and the car body. And there was a bunch of crowding and. Oh, no, I think this is Edwin Booth, not John Wilkes Booth. And Edwin Booth says that he got pressed against the car body while waiting for his turn. And in this situation, the train began to move. And by that motion, I was twisted off my feet and dropped feet downward into the open space and was helpless. I was about to die. And then my collar was pulled on and vigorously seized. And I was quickly pulled up, up and put on secure footing. Upon turning to thank the rescuer, I saw. Oh, that's what it was. I saw that it was Edwin Booth, whose face was so coarse, well known to me, and I expressed my gratitude to him. And in doing so, I called him by name. So Edwin Booth saved Robert Todd Lincoln.

[B]

That's crazy. I did not know that.

[A]

And, yeah, that was basically it. Pretty wild. And Edwin Booth still actually has a reputation. They're still the Booth Theater in New York City, named after Edwin Booth.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

As well as founding the Players, which is like a big, like, acting. Yeah, I guess. Like group guild, I guess. And it was founded by Edwin Booth here in New York City. Pretty wild.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

All right. That's crazy. Let me tell you about Teddy Roosevelt.

[B]

All right?

[A]

Teddy's is maybe the most badass.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This happens in 1912 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and this guy, John Schrank, tries to kill Teddy Roosevelt. Now, Shrank was mentally unstable, and he believed that no one should serve three terms as president and thought that Roosevelt's candidacy was a threat to the American democracy.

[B]

It's funny. The guy named Shrink was mentally unstable. I'm waking up a little bit.

[A]

A little suspect right now. According to Shrank, he got dreams from President McKinley to kill Teddy Roosevelt in order to avenge his death. As we know, President McKinley was also assassinated.

[B]

God, imagine Dick riding a guy that

[A]

hard that's not even there. Think about that. McKinley's gone. And he's like, no, I'm doing this for McKinley, bro. Crazy in a dream.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No dream that I've ever had ever made any sense. I've never had a dream. And I was like, someone told me something in a dream. No, every dream I had, as I was like, dude, I was paying. I was with you. Yeah, but, like, we had to build this tree house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You weren't Peyton you were actually Hillary Clinton. Yeah. You were actually, you're actually Andrew Jackson.

[B]

I have the same thing. And I don't remember any of my dreams, like two in the afternoon where I'm like, wait a second.

[A]

Oh yeah, I did that earlier today.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I did have to fly. Yeah, I completely forgot I had to do that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's insane. But apparently this guy was talking to McKinley.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, shrank waited for President, or he waited for Roosevelt to leave the hotel. And then when he leaves the hotel, he shoots him. But the bullet got lodged in Roosevelt's chest after only hitting his steel eyeglass case. And a 50 page copy of his speech which he was carrying in his jacket pocket. He says after, after they said like, hey, did you get shot? He says, he pinked me. That's what Teddy Roosevelt's line is. After getting shot in the chest by an assassin, he goes, ah, he pinked me, Harry crazy. And then Roosevelt, seeing what's going on, he shouts to the crowd, don't hurt him. Bring him here to me. I want to see him now. Roosevelt correctly concluded that since he was not coughing blood, the bullet had not reached his lungs. So he declined any suggestion to go to the hospital and instead he delivered his scheduled speech with blood seeping out of his shirt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he spoke for 84 minutes before completing his speech and accepting medical attention. And his opening comments to the crowd were, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I've just been shot, but it takes more than that to kill a bull.

[B]

Miss awesome.

[A]

What a badass.

[B]

Yeah, he's a badass motherfucker.

[A]

And he did his whole speech. The speech again is 50 pages. It has a bullet hole in it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And every page that he finishes, he drops a page of his speech on the ground to show the bullet hole in each one. Crazy. Now, in the aftermath, Shrank said, I did it because I was opposed to the third term. Don't talk to me. I will not say anything until tomorrow for I want to sleep. And yeah, it was basically confirmed that he had schizophrenia. And then he was afraid that he, you know, Teddy Roosevelt was going to start a dictatorship and McKinley told him to do it. He was found not guilty on a plea of insanity and sent to a mental hospital where he died 29 years later. Now what's crazy about this whole thing that people don't realize is that Teddy was campaigning. This was part of his campaign to get reelected for the third time. And he loses. Teddy loses. Woodrow Wilson beats him and Taft and Teddy never actually even becomes. Never becomes president or doesn't become president in that re election cycle for a third time.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Kind of wild that like, in spite, like he gets this crazy assassination attempt and everyone sees a speech and they're like, so impressed by how sick this dude is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they're like, yeah, we're gonna

[B]

vote for him, get somebody else.

[A]

Yeah, we're gonna get Wilson in there.

[B]

Yeah. That's like the opposite that happened to Trump. I feel like it was kind of. There was a little undecided what was going to happen.

[A]

And then all of a sudden in the Butler Penn thing, and all of a sudden everyone's like, this guy's sick.

[B]

I remember seeing that, like reading the news live, being like, oh, he just won, right? He just won the election right there. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, that one photo, that one photo, I think, like cemented the entire thing for so many people. They all saw it and they were like, oh, wow. And is the opposite for. For old Teddy now? Let's do a couple more. Let's do a couple more. This. This one is a. We can go even more modern.

[B]

All right.

[A]

George W. Bush.

[B]

W. Now this one is a first sandal assassination attempt.

[A]

Well, let's pull that one up. That's a. That's a. That's a kind of a funny one.

[B]

The.

[A]

The shoes getting thrown at him and he ducks.

[B]

He ducks him.

[A]

He slips out of it. Now his is interesting. He's apparently given a speech and a guy throws a full grenade.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, that's how they tried to get him. This is May of 2005. This guy Artunian waited for the president, United States and the Georgian President to speak at the Capitol. Oh, yes, Liberty Square.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then when Bush started speaking, Artunian pulled a pin on a Soviet made hand grenade wrapped in a red handkerchief and threw it at the podium where Bush was speaking. The grenade ends up hitting a girl, like in the back. And it lands like 60ft from the podium near where, like, Laura Bush and all the other officials are sitting. The red handkerchief. What's crazy is that the handkerchief wrapped around the grenade actually prevented the striker lever from releasing. So the grenade failed to detonate. A Jordan security officer, like, walked over and was like, what did that guy just throw? Picks up a full live hand grenade and then just walks off with it and like, disposes of it. He's like, yo, someone take a look at this. The guy Artunian ends up disappearing and like runs off. And then. Yeah, it's confirmed that it was actually live. It was a live grenade. And then after a tip from a headline or from a hotline, police ended up raiding his home where he lived with his mom. And he ended up getting. Ended up getting captured.

[B]

Did he. How did they get rid of the grenade if I don't even know?

[A]

I'm assuming that they took it to

[B]

like, you can't throw that out and then someone.

[A]

You should recycle it.

[B]

Right? Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Was that. Was that from the. Was that from that. That event? Wild.

[B]

They must have just, like, held it and then whipped it somewhere.

[A]

Yeah, right. I guess they must have like a grenade box.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, this is where we put grenades.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like, if someone tries to kill you with a grenade, we put it in this sealed grenade box and we. Like, you've seen Monsters, Inc. Of course.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It might have been like a 2319.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You know, 2319.

[A]

They might have just. 2319 and put it in that little thing, let it bomb, and then they're good.

[B]

Yeah. Instead of the sock, he had a sandal in his.

[A]

On his shoulder. Yeah, yeah. Can you pull up the shoe video? This one is wild because I've had people explain to me that, like, the shoe thing specifically.

[B]

Yeah, Hold. Play this.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And he's like, smiling through it. Now.

[A]

I think he's in Iraq or he's meeting.

[B]

I think.

[A]

I think that's where this happens. I mean, someone. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's. It's seen as very disrespectful in Arab culture to, you know, have shoes around someone. You know, this is a culture of cleanliness. So you don't put shoes on the table. You don't go in the house with shoes. Today of throwing a shoe at someone is like the ultimate disrespect. Ultimate disrespect.

[B]

I can respect that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, there's kind of more than killing a. Like shooting at a guy.

[A]

Yeah. Disrespecting him with a shoe, being like, you know what?

[B]

Throw a shoe at you, man.

[A]

Yeah. It was a press conference in Baghdad, and the Iraqi journalist Montahar Muntadhar al Zaid Aidi through it, saying that this is a farewell kiss from the Iraqi people. You dog.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I mean, pretty. A pretty good dodge from. From old Bush there. Reflexes on fleek. Right. Like, like, not bad. And then while we're on the topic, all time funny Bush quote. Can you do wash this drive? This is like one of the all time funniest. Right? Like, it's. I Don't even know what, like, where he is or why they're talking to him, but, like, they're just reporters just yapping his ear off while he's gone. He's actually talking about 9 11. No, that's even funnier that. That's what the context.

[B]

Yeah. He was like, we're sure they have weapons of mass destruction now. Watch this drive.

[A]

And then just pipes it to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now, what is this drive? I mean, a jump cut there, though. But, dude, perfect editing.

[B]

You should pull up the first pitch, too. After 9 11. You seen that?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I mean, that. Have they done a 30 for 30 on that?

[B]

They should.

[A]

Honestly, it's. I mean, the stakes of this are just crazy. It's like, okay, like, how many days after 9 11? This is like a week. More. Less.

[B]

More.

[A]

I think a month.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They took like 11 days off. Canceled games, and then eventually games later. This is the playoffs at Yankee Stadium.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they bring the President United States to give a pitch.

[B]

So the 2001 World Series ceremonial first pitch. October. Wow. The President of the United States, also,

[A]

clearly, he's wearing a bulletproof vest here. And also, he meets Derek Jeter down in the tunnel. And Jeter asks him if he's going to throw it from the top of the mound or the bottom.

[B]

Do you see that in the video?

[A]

No, but it's, like, told as an urban legend, but I think it's true. And he goes, I'm gonna throw it

[B]

from the top of the mountain.

[A]

He goes, you better not bounce it. They'll blow you. Wow. So the President United States going to give a pitch after the biggest terror attack in modern American history. And, yeah, the stakes are on. Pressure's high. Got the FDNY jacket. Swag goes to the rubber. That'll work. Perfect.

[B]

Strike.

[A]

That'll work down the middle.

[B]

This is a great toss.

[A]

Who's a catcher? Do you know who that is? I think that's Jim Layer. It's the backup catcher.

[B]

Wow, look at the toss, man. Right. Now.

[A]

Has anyone done an AI? Has anyone done, like, an AI version of this where, like, swats it down? I just want to see Osama just piping it for yard. You know what I mean? No one's done that yet.

[B]

He throws it into the Twin Towers.

[A]

Yeah, he just blasts it again. It's Building Seven. I mean, crazy. I mean, yeah. I mean, you got some loft on it, but it'll work for the pressure of the situation. It'll absolutely work. Now there's a. Another wild attempt that wasn't successful. Thank goodness on Reagan. Yeah, Reagan's is interesting.

[B]

This one's weird.

[A]

John Hinckley Jr. Yeah. Is the, the person that, that did the attempt and it happened on March 30, 1981, outside the Washington Hilton Hotel in Washington DC. Now, the reason why is strange. Hinckley was obsessed with the actress Jodie Foster and believed that killing the President would impress her. Yeah, that's the story. So March 30, 1981, Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded by John Hinckley Jr. In Washington D.C. as he was returning to his limousine. And what's wild Is that March 21, 1981, just a little bit before, Ronald Reagan, who took office just in January of that year, and his wife Nancy go to the Ford's theater in Washington D.C. for a fundraising event. And Reagan recalled, and according to an autobiography that he says this, I looked up at the presidential box above the stage where Abe Lincoln was sitting the night he was shot, and I felt a curious sensation. I thought that even with all the Secret Service protection we had, now it was possible for someone who had enough determination to get close enough to kill the President. That's what he apparently said to his wife. Going to the Ford's Theater right before now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's play this real quick. Oh. Ronald Reagan was two months into his presidency when John Hinckley Jr. Drew a.29 handgun outside the Washington Hilton Hotel on March 30, 1981. He wounded the President. Brady, a Secret Service agent. Crazy. All right, so he's. Yeah, Reagan's walking. The craziest part is that after this happens.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He, the story is that he's close to death upon arrival at the hospital, was then stabilized in the emergency room. And then he went an emergency surgery. Reagan walked into the hospital and was waving at onlookers. The medical team, led by this guy, Joseph Giordano, cut Reagan's thousand dollar custom made suit in order to examine him. Reagan complained about the cost of the ruined suit, which was cited by his assistant in a press briefing to reassure the public that he was in stable condition. Nancy pulls up and Reagan, Reagan apparently says to her, she goes, honey, what happened? And he goes, I forgot to duck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Apparently this is on the record.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then in the operating room, Reagan removes his mask to look at the doctor and make a joke. And he says, I hope you're all Republicans.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then the doctors and nurses laugh. And then Giordano, who's a Democrat, replied, Today, Mr. President, we are all Republicans. Kind of funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I also.

[B]

Yeah, I think that is correct. He. I think I heard Louie actually was talking about that when he did that president's episode with Shane. Shane. I think he was saying that he walked in, like, all good. I don't know if you said that, but he, like, walked into the hospital like, I'm all good. And then he got in, like, collapse and was like, you know. Yeah.

[A]

No, he was like, apparently not doing well on the way.

[B]

I don't know if you said that. Sorry.

[A]

But then when he walked in, he wanted to be like, hey, they can't look. They can't have the president looking like he's bad. So he has, like, serious internal bleeding and then gets to the hospital and goes, I'm gonna walk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Walks in and then gets inside and he just put him into emergency surgery.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But this is.

[B]

This is cool.

[A]

Yeah. Hilarious. This is like, I guess, I don't know, a few months, a couple years maybe, after he's giving a speech, and then a balloon pops.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is what he says by

[B]

his very existence and character. Berlin remains the most compelling argument for an open world. We're reminded of the many traditions of openness and democracy that have marked the history of this city.

[A]

America.

[B]

Missed me.

[A]

I mean, quick, right? Like, he did go to say America, but Wait, what do you mean? He goes, a missed me.

[B]

And then he.

[A]

But quick, though. Yeah, I mean, like, comically quick.

[B]

Yeah, quick.

[A]

It wasn't like a couple minutes. Like, he said that immediately.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kind of impressive. Now, the reason that this happened was this guy, John Hinckley Jr. Wanted to impress the child actress Jody Foster. So while living in Hollywood in the late 70s, he saw a taxi driver 15 times and apparently identified strongly with this guy, Travis Bickle, portrayed by Robert De Niro. The story involves Bickle's attempt to save a child prostitute played by Jody Foster. And toward the end of the film, Bickle attempts to assassinate a United States senator who's running for president. So then over the following years, Hinckley trailed Foster around the country, going so far as to enroll at a course at Yale in 1980 after reading in People magazine that she was a student there. So Hinckley was just trying to get close to Jody Foster because he's crazy. So he wrote a bunch of letters and notes to her in the late 1980s and then called her twice and refused to give up when she indicated that she was not interested in meeting him. And when he goes to trial, he demands that Foster testify at his trial. An Agreement was reached between Foster and Hinckley's lawyers that she would do so in a closed session with only herself, the judge, and the lawyers and Hinckley present, and a videotape of the session could then be introduced as evidence in Hinckley's trial. The session took place in 1982. During her testimony, Foster did not look at or acknowledge Hinckley. This caused him to then throw a pen at her and shout threats before he was surrounded and removed from the room by marshals. How crazy is that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That all of this actually did get him close to her. Like, why would they bring her in? That was the part I don't get. They're like, yes, you obviously had nothing to do with this. You don't have to be in this deposition. Like, it's insane.

[B]

They brought her in after he shot the president to try it. Well, I mean, probably, I guess, to

[A]

be like, do you know anything about this?

[B]

You know anything? Yeah. Like.

[A]

But it's just insane that, like, this, just because this guy's psycho, that she had to be involved.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now what's crazy that he goes to St. Elizabeth Hospital in D.C. in a psychiatric facility. And in January 2015, they announced that they would not charge Hinckley with Brady's death. Brady was one of the Secret Service people that actually died, despite the medical examiner's classification that his death was caused by Hinckley. And Hinckley was then released from institutional psychiatric care on September 10, 2016. And now he is free. Is free, and does art and makes music.

[B]

Well, I think he's one of the last guys who. You used to be able to plea insanity and live out your sentence in a mental institution, and it didn't count. And it counted towards your sentenced in prison.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Whereas now I think if you do it, you plead insanity, you can be in the mental institution as long as you want. Once you feel that you're fit to come out of it, you will now serve your prison sentence. Oh, wow. I believe is how that works now. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

It's like one flu of the Cuckoo's Nest kind of thing. Have you ever seen that where you can. Jack Nicholson pretends to be nuts so he doesn't have to go to jail, so he stays in a mental institution so he doesn't have to be in jail.

[A]

And they're. They basically do those sentences concurrently, but now they don't.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Interesting. Can you pull up some of Hinckley's music or his art? He's just out here making art. I reached out to him to come on the pod.

[B]

Did you really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No way.

[A]

He hit me back. He was like, here's my email. Never. Never followed up.

[B]

That's a good idea. You know, you don't need that guy in the book.

[A]

Well, I'm low key. Like, did this guy get MK Ultra? Was he brain controlled? I don't know. There's apartments like. So yeah, here he is. You can buy some artwork.

[B]

It looks like every piece of art I've ever seen. Oh, good. At least he's good at it.

[A]

Yeah, he's a. He's a real artist.

[B]

I mean.

[A]

Yeah, I might get that for you for, for like a birthday present or something. Yeah, yeah, Maybe an original from Hinckley.

[B]

That would be terrifying.

[A]

Yeah, this cat, he loves his cat. So he's all over making this cat big jugs there. Okay, all right, maybe I'm a fan of old, old artist England, but yeah, he's. He's out here just living his life.

[B]

Good for him. Yeah, well, not good for him, but. And what, what happened? Do we go over Garfield?

[A]

No, Garfield is an interesting one. Garfield is.

[B]

Brief it real quick if you don't.

[A]

No, let's. Let's rip it one time. So Garfield is assassinated on July 2, 1881, by this guy named Charles Guiteau. And this happens on the. On the Baltimore and Potomac Railroad station in Washington D.C. so who's this guy? Couteau. He's a high school dropout. He lived in a religious commune, had a group marriage, got rejected, and then they called him Charles. Get out was the nickname that they gave him because he was so crazy. His own father disowned him. He left town, tried to be a lawyer, didn't really work. Went to nyc, didn't really have much luck there. And then felt divinely inspired to preach the gospel. He survived a boat crash and then felt that his life was divinely spared. And he actually supported President Garfield and wrote on his behalf on manuscripts that were passed around the rnc. And he actually took credit for Garfield's presidency because of the stuff that he wrote about him and thought that he should be the minister to France because of the fact that he got Garfield elected. He didn't get Garfield elected for the record. And they had basically at the time, they had this weird thing called a patronage system. And basically that means that people could just walk up and like ask for official presidential positions and the president could just give them out to people that showed up. So they had these long lines of people applying to be like consuls and Diplomats and liaisons to all these different countries. And he got rejected like dozens of times. And then Garfield gets in and then scraps that whole system.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And basically this guy Guiteau gets a message from God to kill the President and elevate Vice President Chester Arthur to the presidency. So he goes out, he buys a gun. And what's crazy is that he had to choose what gun to buy. And the guy at the gun store is like, do you want a wood grip or do you want ivory? The ivory one's a little bit more expensive. And Guiteau chose ivory because a quote, according to him, he said that it would look better in a museum one day. Yeah, that's how crazy it was. He was like, yeah, I'm gonna do something. It's gonna make history. It's gonna be in a museum. And what's ironic is that the weapon is actually lost.

[B]

Right.

[A]

No one knows where it is. So it never even made it to the museum.

[B]

Him.

[A]

And he had a chance to kill him once, but he didn't do it because Garfield's wife was in poor health and he didn't want to add any more strain to his wife. Kind of ironic. And so the President was supposed to go from D.C. to visit his wife in Jersey. And the shooter got his shoe shined that morning. And then he pulled up to the station, shot him twice. And then he said, I am a stalwart of the stalwarts. Arthur is President.

[B]

Now.

[A]

What's wild about his shooting was that the shooting was actually non fatal. So he gets shot, but he's still alive. And the doctors are basically like, man, you got some bullets in you. Yeah, we got to get these bullets out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So how do they do it? They start jamming their fingers in them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they start trying to, like, dig the bullets out of his bullet wounds. And so the very first examination was on the train station floor. So literally they're on the, like the platform of the train station. And at the time, like, germ theory was still very early. They didn't really know what's going on. What's crazy about this whole saga, and we're going to circle back to this. At this train station was Abraham Lincoln's son, Robert Todd Lincoln. He saw his father get murdered. Right. This is. Abraham Lincoln is a young boy. His dad gets shot, and he sees his father get murdered. And then he sees another president get murdered because he's with William McKinley when he's killed at the World's Fair in Buffalo. And then this is the third President that he's with that he's there when he gets murdered. How crazy. So Lincoln was literally Robert Lincoln.

[B]

Robert Todd Lincoln was with Garfield too?

[A]

Yeah, and Lincoln, he was a. He was given, he was given basically like a position with like all these other presidents cabinets because his dad was such an esteemed president. And so that's, that's nuts. Lincoln was traveling with Garfield and told him about his father's assassination just the day before. So in the aftermath, Lincoln literally summons this guy, Willard Bliss. D. Willard Bliss, who's a very arrogant doctor who basically takes charge. And for 80 days, Garfield is riddled with infection. His weight goes from 210 pounds to 130 pounds. They call someone to use a metal detector to try to extract or find the bullet. And do you know who the guy was that they called? Alexander Graham Bell.

[B]

Really?

[A]

The guy that literally like invents like the telephone.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so he's like an early inventor and he's got this metal detector and they're like, hey, can you just like beep over him and see if you can find where the bullet is? And he was on a bed of metal springs in the mattress. And so the metal detector didn't work. It was just beeping the whole time. They're like, dude, there's bullets all over them.

[B]

Why don't they just take him out of the bed?

[A]

I don't think they realized that there was like springs under him. And I think this was like a last ditch attempt to like try to find the bullets because he was about to die. And yeah, it's pretty crazy. The country came together afterwards and it was like one of the times since the Civil War that like the country kind of came together because of Garfield's death. And then a few people go on to say that the President wasn't killed by a bullet, but by incompetent doctors. And the main spokesperson for that idea was Charles Guiteau, the guy that shot him. So he's represented by his sister's husband. That's the guy, that's the lawyer for him. After killing the president, which is like crazy to do that for your in laws, you know what I mean? Do you have a sister?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Imagine you have to like go defend her husband, you know what I mean? Like, or like your wife, rather. Like if one day you get married, you have a wife, you gotta like go defend her brother because some dumb. He did.

[B]

Yeah, that's crazy. I'd be pissed. Yeah.

[A]

I hate having to like, would do anything for any of my experiences.

[B]

I want to, like, just move some furniture for them.

[A]

Imagine that. Now you have to go defend him in court.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this was one of the few first high profile insanity cases. And he said that he was temporarily insane because God took his free will. That's why.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

So he became, like a media sensation during this entire trial because of how weird he was acting. And so he would, like, go and do, like, these epic poems where he would recite them and then he would solicit legal advice from random people in the audience. And, like, he would get notes from them and then read their advice to, like, basically try to get off. And he dictated an autobiography to the New York Herald, ending it with a personal ad for a nice Christian lady under 30 years old. He's literally trying to get laid while he's, like, in prison.

[B]

I don't mind that he was completely

[A]

oblivious to the American public's hatred of him even after he was almost assassinated himself twice. And he would wave to spectators, and then he was basically given the death sentence. He was hung after a year from the shooting and danced his way to the gallow and shook hands with the executioner. And then he delivered a last dying prayer, which he declared that God did inspire the act for which I am now murdered, and predicted that the government and the nation by this act will incur thy eternal enmity. So pretty crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, yeah, that's. The bits of the rope were made into souvenirs. The rope that killed.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

They cut up the bits of the rope and they gave them out to people. And then parts of his brain are still on display at the Mutra Museum in Philadelphia. Crazy. And turns out he did kill Garfield, and then Arthur did become president, and then turned out he did a pretty good job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pretty wild. And, oh, yeah, there's all these connections between Lincoln. Oh, yeah, and JFK. Like, of course, both elected in 46 and into the presidency in 60. Both are succeeded by Southern Democrats named Johnson, born 100 years apart. 1808, 1908. Both are assassinated on a Friday in presence of their wives. Both assassins were killed before trial. Both presidents had seven letters in their last name. Both assassins had 15 letters in their full names. Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theater. Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln car made by Ford. Kennedy had a secretary named Evelyn Lincoln who warns him not to go to Dallas. And then maybe my favorite one is that before Abraham Lincoln was killed, like the week before. Yeah, he was in Monroe, Maryland.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And before JFK was killed, Monroe, Maryland, he was in Marilyn Monroe. That's A banger.

[B]

That's pretty good. Do you do that on stage? No, that's not bad. Not bad.

[A]

There's something there.

[B]

I might take it.

[A]

Now, there's one thing in here that I kind of mixed up when talking about Robert. Robert Todd Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln's son. It was his dad, Abraham Lincoln, and then it was Garfield, and then it was McKinley.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

And Robert Todd Lincoln was at all three.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

And at the time of McKinley's death, there were only three presidents that had ever been assassinated.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The fourth being jfk. So for Robert Todd Lincoln's life, he was there in the room for every presidential assassination. Crazy, super bad luck. And his life is actually kind of sad. Robert Todd Lincoln ends up going to tell, like, biographers at the end of his life. He's like, I feel like people only, like, liked me and appreciated me and gave me stuff because of who my dad was. I've done nothing for myself. I've achieved nothing. And I've brought upon what seems like so much coincidental pain.

[B]

Yeah. At least he's self aware.

[A]

You agree?

[B]

Yeah. At least, you know, I get it.

[A]

He knew where it came from, you know, OG Nepa.

[B]

At least he wasn't like a. Yeah, classic Nepo, baby. Like, oh, you know who my dad is? He's kind of like, yeah, yeah, I

[A]

know who my dad is.

[B]

I know. Sucks. I haven't done anything, so.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's an abridged history of many of the presidential assassinations that have afflicted this great nation.

[B]

Very interesting.

[A]

Pretty wild, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So many weird little connections and details in there, you know?

[B]

Yeah, we get. We get CIA knocking on your door right now. We're talking about it too much. Do you hear that?

[A]

Yeah, I do. I think it's rats, actually. That's the haunted virus coming at us.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Now, Peyton, where can the good people see?

[B]

You can see me on Instagram at Peyton Ruddy Comedy. I'm on [e-mail] or punch up Peyton Ruddy. That's pretty much it. I got a ton of tour dates. I'm on tour for the rest of the year, all of next year. I appreciate it.

[A]

Go check out Peyton. His Instagram is absolutely hilarious and his standup comedy is even better. And yeah, you're the man, brother.

[B]

Appreciate it. Thank you for having me on, man.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

This is a lot. So much fun.

[A]

Let's do this again soon.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Peace. Hey, guys, if you love conspiracies and hypothetical history, well, I want to invite you to check out signal 33. This is a companion pod to our podcast here at camp. It's made and edited by the same team that runs all of our shows, and I choose the topics every single week. So check it out, subscribe and start the dialogue in the comment section.