Tragedy, Crime and Viral Music Superstardom | The HonestAv Story

Summary

Camp Gagnon: Tragedy, Crime and Viral Music Superstardom | The HonestAv Story

Host: Mark Gagnon
Guest: Honest Ave
Release Date: May 14, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of Camp Gagnon, host Mark Gagnon sits down with Honest Ave, an emerging artist whose journey from a tumultuous childhood in Missouri to viral music stardom on TikTok is both inspiring and heart-wrenching. This detailed conversation delves deep into Honest Ave’s life, exploring themes of tragedy, crime, resilience, and the transformative power of music.

Early Life and Family Struggles

Honest Ave opens up about his early years, marked by instability and hardship. Born to a mother battling addiction, Ave describes a household crowded with siblings and cohabiting with a total of 11 family members. He recounts vivid memories of his mother's struggles with drug abuse and the constant presence of drugs and violence in his environment.

Honest Ave [02:23]: "Probably some of my first memories... My mom is like, she sells dope and she's like a heavy crack addict."

Ave's father, portrayed as more stable, worked a factory job and participated in local men's baseball leagues, providing a stark contrast to the chaos at home. However, the familial strife took a significant toll, especially after the tragic suicide of his older brother, Shayn, when Ave was just 15.

Honest Ave [06:40]: "We were getting rowdy. My dad could never fix the windows... In the winter, snow would get inside the house."

Life in Missouri: Navigating Crime and Drugs

Growing up in a small, predominantly white town in southeast Missouri, Ave discusses the racial tensions and the prevalence of drug use among his peers. He paints a picture of a community grappling with its racial history and the ongoing struggles with substance abuse.

Honest Ave [04:37]: "It's like we're all staring at each other, trying to figure out how to survive in this messed-up world."

Ave's involvement in petty crimes during his youth, such as stealing cigarettes and later selling weed, is candidly shared. He reflects on how these activities were a means of survival and a way to support his family, often putting him at odds with law enforcement and local authority figures.

Honest Ave [47:25]: "I was making money, bro. But I was selling weed to people who were really dangerous."

The Turning Point: From Crime to Music

Despite his entanglement in crime, Ave's passion for music remained a constant in his life. He describes how his early attempts to break into the music industry were initially met with ridicule and lack of support from his family, who couldn't see the potential in his artistic endeavors.

Honest Ave [75:36]: "I was struggling with pride shit... I wanted to be anything, but I was addicted to going."

The turning point came when Ave began leveraging TikTok to promote his music, transitioning from illicit income to legitimate earnings through viral content. This shift not only provided him with financial stability but also a platform to share his story and connect with a broader audience.

Honest Ave [84:59]: "I just started getting... internet money, and there's like, oh, you know, I went straight from weed money to internet money."

Achieving Viral Success and Touring

Ave discusses the exponential growth of his online presence, culminating in a sold-out tour across America. His ability to resonate with listeners stems from the authenticity and vulnerability in his music, addressing topics like mental health, addiction, and personal loss.

Honest Ave [85:23]: "Overdose was like the song that made me connect with people... then I was in the studio every day for 12 hours."

The emotional impact of his performances is evident as he describes seeing fans who share similar struggles, finding solace and understanding through his music.

Honest Ave [85:44]: "There's people crying in a crowd, like, singing it. It's the craziest thing, bro."

Reflections and Personal Growth

Throughout the conversation, Ave reflects on his past decisions and the lessons learned from his experiences. He acknowledges the role of mentorship in his life, particularly highlighting his business manager, Juan, who has been instrumental in guiding him towards financial literacy and responsible money management.

Honest Ave [116:08]: "He's enrolled me for an Amex credit card and taught me how to handle my money."

Ave also touches on the emotional scars left by his upbringing and the importance of addressing mental health issues. The suicide of his brother remains a poignant part of his narrative, shaping his music and his desire to help others through his art.

Honest Ave [120:32]: "If my nephews can grow up and be like, I want to take my friends to go get dinner tonight, that's success to me."

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Ave expressing gratitude for his journey and the support system that has enabled his transformation from a troubled youth to a successful artist. His story serves as a powerful testament to overcoming adversity and the healing power of creative expression.

Honest Ave [123:47]: "If I'm successful, my sister has a house. My mom has a house. My nephews are in college... that's success to me."

Mark Gagnon and Honest Ave wrap up the conversation with mutual respect and encouragement, highlighting the profound impact of Honest Ave's story on listeners.

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This episode of Camp Gagnon offers an unfiltered look into the life of Honest Ave, illustrating how personal tragedy and societal challenges can fuel artistic creativity and lead to unexpected success. Through honest dialogue and emotional depth, listeners gain insight into the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative journey of a young artist finding his voice amidst chaos.

Notable Quotes:

• Honest Ave [02:23]: "Probably some of my first memories... My mom is like, she sells dope and she's like a heavy crack addict."
• Honest Ave [04:37]: "It's like we're all staring at each other, trying to figure out how to survive in this messed-up world."
• Honest Ave [47:25]: "I was making money, bro. But I was selling weed to people who were really dangerous."
• Honest Ave [75:36]: "I was struggling with pride shit... I wanted to be anything, but I was addicted to going."
• Honest Ave [85:23]: "Overdose was like the song that made me connect with people... then I was in the studio every day for 12 hours."
• Honest Ave [116:08]: "He's enrolled me for an Amex credit card and taught me how to handle my money."
• Honest Ave [120:32]: "If my nephews can grow up and be like, I want to take my friends to go get dinner tonight, that's success to me."

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Note: All timestamps correspond to the provided transcript and serve to highlight key moments in the conversation.

Transcript

[Mark Gagnon]

This is honestave Hot questions.

[Honest Ave]

High questions. This is where we answer questions. Hot.

[Mark Gagnon]

He is one of the most exciting artists that I've had the pleasure of meeting recently. He blew up on TikTok with 1.8 million followers, dropped an EP that went viral and now he's on a sold out tour across America. This dude's story is fascinating and today look, we just sit in this tent and chop it up. It's an amazing hang. Ave is super funny. He actually blew up making comedy videos that then turned into, you know, him putting out his music and being more vulnerable and he breaks down the entire process. How he blew up, where he came from, his humble beginnings, living in Missouri in a house with like 11 people surrounded by drugs and violence and even tells us like funny stories of just growing up, the kind of trouble that him and his friends used to get into and eventually how he made it out, got a record deal and is living the American dream. If you're not familiar with him, I know we don't do a lot of music episodes, but this one is worth your time. Come hang out with us in the tent and enjoy the conversation with Honest Ave. So sit back, relax and welcome to camp. Bring on your business challenges. The complex ones. The ones that seem to change every day. The ones that are so nuanced no one else could possibly understand them. Bring them all on. Key has a team of banking experts specialized in your industry, always ready to take your call and offer trusted solutions. And we go even further, staying ahead of trends so that you have answers before you even knew you needed them. Bring on your business challenges. KeyBank opens doors learn [e-mail] B2B this episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel.

[Honest Ave]

From time to time, with services like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Prime Video, Amazon Music and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more. I feel you got a lot of stories growing up in Missouri.

[Honest Ave]

Mad stories.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like what was the bring me back to like where you grew up? Explain where you lived? Yeah, like what is the environment when you're like five years old?

[Honest Ave]

Okay, when I'm like five years old, my parents had just got divorced. My parents got divorced when I was 4 so I don't really remember anything before them being divorced. Five years old. Probably some of my first memories.

[Mark Gagnon]

What are your parents like? What does your mom do. What does your dad do?

[Honest Ave]

My mom, at that time?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. My mom is like, she sells dope and she's like, she's like a heavy crack addict.

[Mark Gagnon]

Whoa.

[Honest Ave]

And she's like, she had like left my dad because she had like cheated on him and like, she had like cheated on my dad and had like a baby like out of wedlock or whatever you want to call it. And then, and then I'm the makeup baby. And. And so they kind of like got like together and like had me. And then like shortly after I was born, they like split again. And my mom was like a heavy crack user as opposed to like a.

[Mark Gagnon]

Casual, as opposed to like a mild.

[Honest Ave]

Like.

[Mark Gagnon]

I feel like if you're doing.

[Honest Ave]

Bro, I remember being at the creek and I'm like swimming. I probably was like 7, 8 years old. I don't know. And all of a sudden like, boom. Black trucks are pulling up at the creek, like, and like they' jumping out and they're like yelling at my mom and they like go up to my mom's car and like bust her truck open and it's like they're like raiding her. And she like went to the feds that night. And I was like a little 7 year old kid just like standing there like, wait. I went home with boyfriend. So my mom was like in mad abusive relationships. All the cliche shit of like, you know, like the tweaker shit, you know, and, and, but you know, I loved her. She was cool. Still, it was all good. I still fuck with crackheads to this day. I love, I love me a good crackhead.

[Mark Gagnon]

You ever, you ever dated crackhead?

[Honest Ave]

Have I dated one? Yeah. No, I really only. I haven't really dated like that. I've only had two girlfriends.

[Mark Gagnon]

You smash a crackhead though?

[Honest Ave]

Would I smash a crackhead? Yeah. RIP to Jenny Crow, by the way. That's our town crackhead, where I'm growing up. RIP to her because. No shit. What happened?

[Mark Gagnon]

Osteoporosis?

[Honest Ave]

Nah, bro. She got hit by a car.

[Mark Gagnon]

No.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, she used to walk around Jenny Crow. Rip fucking whatever. The religious rip. Dude, what did you grow up?

[Mark Gagnon]

I feel like in your town people.

[Honest Ave]

Would be like Christian, you know, it's like a, it's, it's like a cool little blend of like, you know, there's like a Catholic school, so there's like mad Catholic kids. And then if you're not a Catholic kid, you're like, your parents are probably on drugs. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Whoa.

[Honest Ave]

Or they're like secretly on drugs and a lot of People are secretly on drugs, you know?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, of course. I mean, all these like moms that are doing like, you know, larazan.

[Honest Ave]

But I mean like, I meant like, like meth though. Like secretly. Like pills too, but like, yeah, like secretly on meth. Like, like, I know that same homie, I'm not gonna say her name, but the same homie, I'm telling you, that was like a 45 year old that was facilitating us to do drugs as teenagers. She's like, everybody in the town, like, would ridicule her because it's a small town and they're like, oh, they know that she's on drugs, but she would be doing drugs with, you know, everybody's parents. And it's like, you know, only if you were getting caught really. Are you being like ridiculed or whatever.

[Mark Gagnon]

But. And so what was your dad like at the time?

[Honest Ave]

My dad was cool at the time, man. Like, he was great. He worked like a cool factory job, you know. He was like. He played like in a men's league in baseball. So like I, I grew up like watching that and thinking it was like badass, you know. He was like.

[Mark Gagnon]

You thought he was probably.

[Honest Ave]

Oh God, I did. I remember one time he was rounding second, he tripped on second and like rolled halfway to third. And I'm like, okay, he's not, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

That was a moment.

[Honest Ave]

I'm pretty sure this is like all fake. Like, what's going on here?

[Mark Gagnon]

He did a Looney Tunes.

[Honest Ave]

These guys doing.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Now he was cool though. And he like worked cool job and like he was at work most of the time, but he really held it down like until I was a teenager, like really, you know, was the only like, dude in the, like, he was making the money, you know, and stuff like that. And him and his wife, she was like just a waitress. So, you know, she would be like working every day all the time. My stepmom was. She's basically my mom, but she like crazy like my mom. But yeah, he was just like a regular dad, bro. Like a, like a big dude, mad tattoos. He drove Harley's and, and, and had a truck and. But yeah, we like kind of grew up like where I'm from, bro. Like, like we grew up on $15,000 a year. But. And that's broke as. But like, it's, it's not the brokest where I'm from. There's like people that are growing up not now, but like at the time. There's people growing up on 10, you know, 15, 000 a year. Yeah, like, my dad made 15 or I think maybe on his best year, he made 25 a year. And so like, we were like, he was getting paid, you know, like 11 an hour.

[Mark Gagnon]

So you, you lived with your biological.

[Honest Ave]

Dad and your stepmom and five brothers.

[Mark Gagnon]

Five brothers.

[Honest Ave]

Four brothers and a sister. And then like a dude that like, is basically like my brother. Yeah. And. And wow. Yeah, we had like maybe like 11 people in the house, probably like about at all times. My stepmom, my dad, and then me and all my siblings. And then like my older brothers got like, we call them Josh. And everybody has a Josh in my family. And it's like a friend that's parents are like, worse, you know, and. And maybe like, like Josh, for instance, like his. His parents are passed away and so he would like be at the crib all the time. My parents were like his parents. Same with my bro Breezy. He like, grew up like my brother and his dad, like, was whooping his ass in high school. So we like came and up and like he lived with me. And so there was like 11 of us, 12 of us in, in one like three bedroom house.

[Mark Gagnon]

And so everyone's bunking up.

[Honest Ave]

Four bedroom.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, yeah, we're deep. Oh, yeah. And there's no ac. And oh, you remember the ice storm. Oh, wait, you're not from Missouri.

[Mark Gagnon]

No. All righty. Don't skip forward, guys, because I am on the road. World's fastest ad read coming at you. I'm going to be in Indianapolis, Buffalo, Raleigh, Poughkeepsie, Portland, Oregon, Fort Worth, Texas, Austin, Texas, Stanford, Philly, Levittown, Chandler, Arizona, San Diego. I'm also going to be adding to Toronto, Montreal, as well as Washington D.C. and a bunch of other dates. Dates are in the description. Also in probably the comments of this episode. Go see me on the road. Come hang out. I'll be hanging out with everyone after the show. Come shake my hand, call me an idiot, whatever you want to do, I will be there. Additionally, I will be doing my one hour of standup comedy. I'm very proud of this hour. I'm really excited to share with you guys and it would mean the world if everyone could come on out. And what do you wear to a show on the road? That's a great question. You can go to campgoods Co. That's right. We got merch. We got camp merch. We got hats, hoodies, T shirts. A lot of stuff is out of stock. Things have been selling like hotcakes. But we're going to be restocking everything in all the sizes. So you can go there right now, get all the merch, get all the coolest clothing in the podcast game. We're going to be updating that site regularly. And if you come out to a show, I'd love to see you sporting some of the threads that we got up online. I'll see you guys there. Let's get back to the show.

[Honest Ave]

Warning. The Quest Protein Milkshake is the world's.

[Mark Gagnon]

Most powerful milkshake with 45 grams of protein.

[Honest Ave]

It may even be too powerful, too rich, too creamy, too delicious.

[Mark Gagnon]

Do not drink if you do not want to achieve gains. Repeat, do not drink if you don't want gains. Enjoy at your own risk. Quest Nutrition. Big on protein, low on sugar, huge on flavor. It's basically cheating.

[Honest Ave]

Hey, Ryan, that was a fast trip. It was like you teleported. Yeah, just got in. I'll get all my expenses logged, I promise. Oh, no, you're okay.

[Mark Gagnon]

SAP Concur uses advanced AI so your.

[Honest Ave]

Expense report will practically write itself. Quite the breakthrough. It's like we've been teleported into the future. All right, so just curious, would you give us written permission to convert your matter into energy patterns and reassemble you at, say, random travel destinations?

[Mark Gagnon]

Margaret, are you building a teleporter? No.

[Honest Ave]

Yes.

[Mark Gagnon]

SAP Concur helps your business move forward faster. Learn [e-mail].

[Honest Ave]

In 2007, I think it was, there was an ice storm and the power was out for, like, two weeks. Like. Like, there was like. No, Nobody had power. Everybody was like, don't. Like, like nobody had. And we was like 15 deep in the living room of my house with sheets, like, all over the walls and like, that. Just, like, using each other's body heat and for, like, warmth. You know what? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

But it sounds like Deadliest Cash. It was crazy. Like, it was that. No, it was, like, freezing cold.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah, we would just. In times, like I had, we was in a two bedroom house and there was, like, mad windows upstairs and they were all, like, busted out, you know, because, like, maybe we'd be rowdy or, like, we moved in and they were already shitty. But, like, that we would be getting rowdy. And my parents, like, could never fix them. So we'd have, like, plastic on the windows and like that. But, like, in the winter, like, if it snowed and we didn't, like, take precaution, there would be snow inside in the house. Yeah, for sure, dude.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, Definitely throw a couple beers in there. Like, yo, we Got a fridge.

[Honest Ave]

Like, oh yeah, you can fucking put them in the fucking ice for sure. But, you know, but. But like, looking back, it seems like, like I never realized that. That it was like that, you know, I never realized that, like, oh, this is not like normal and shit. Like, everybody where I'm from in the wintertime or the summertime has their windows, you know, plastic up because the house is old as fuck and like, you know, it lets the cold in or the heat out or like, whatever, you know. So I didn't really realize I was like, that was like sketchy as fuck. Be times where like, other parents wouldn't let their, their kids hang out with us. And I never got it as a kid. I never got it. I'm like, why the.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, this. Parents are like, they're like, they're being weird.

[Honest Ave]

Whatever. Yeah, Yeah. I just think like, what the.

[Mark Gagnon]

They didn't want their kid to be frozen.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Literally. Or, or, or they wanted to make sure that the kid was going to eat three times like that day, you know, type.

[Mark Gagnon]

So after your parents split, did you hang with your mom much?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, bro. So, like, I'm the only kid. So RIP to my older brother. He, me and him, like, made the conscious decision, like, to stay with my mom. So we would do like a week with my mom, a week with, a week with my mom, a week with my dad. And then whenever I was 15, like, there was like lawyers and shit that came to my house and they like, made me make a decision like, who are you going to live with full time? Are you going to live with your dad or your mom? That was like a tough decision. I almost, I almost live with my mom, but she was still like, you know, a drug addict back then, and it was like terrible conditions. But, But I love my mom. Right. Like, so me, my, like, I would want to be in there helping her and shit, but I decided to live with my dad and like, low key. Thank God I did because, like, you know, I'm like, I'm like, I was one bad decision away from being in jail. You know, like, like, it like my homies went to jail. My best friend, my childhood best friend was in jail from 17 to 24.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wow.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. So, like, I was one decision away from that. I feel like if I had lived with my mom, it would have been different.

[Mark Gagnon]

But yeah, the exposure probably would have been.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Just really negative.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Low key.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. So growing up, like going house to house, like one week on, one week off, when you're with your dad, it's not, you know, perfect, but like it seems like there's a little bit more structure. Right? You got like all the siblings. Everyone's kind of doing their thing.

[Honest Ave]

Right.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like are your siblings going to school regularly? Like is everyone like studying? Like what's the like the structure on like a day to day?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. It's crazy that you say that because. Yeah, it was so different from my mom, my dad's. It was like almost like living two lives.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, but you're Hannah Montana.

[Honest Ave]

No, I felt like that.

[Mark Gagnon]

White trash Hannah Montana.

[Honest Ave]

Exactly. I go to my mom's house, that would be like real life trailer park, white trash kid that's like running around in a shitty diaper. And then I go to my dad's house and I would be like, I was the quarterback of the football team and the point guard and like I was the, you know, I played shortstop. Like I was playing all these sports. My, my sister wasn't. She went to school, she graduated. She was like an athlete. It was cool to watch her. My oldest brother dropped out when he was 16 and then moved back in when he was 20 and graduated at 21.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, nice.

[Honest Ave]

My second oldest brother, I remember this like yesterday he, he said he was 16 years old and he went and he got in trouble for smoking weed. And he went into my parents room and he said, you, I'm moving out. He said, I'm moving to la. I want to go smoke weed and be a rock star. And he never came back. And then.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, what happened? Where's he at now?

[Honest Ave]

Right, he lives in la. He's got a band, the Captain's Son. They're pretty dope. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Do you hit him? Like are you guys.

[Honest Ave]

When I go to la sometimes he slides on the studio. But he, but our styles are so much different. And, and also bro, I'm a nine year old kid when he moves out and so like I don't really know him that well.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then you don't see him from.

[Honest Ave]

I've never seen him. Yeah, and then he just comes for Christmas and so like he's. That's my brother. But like what's the name of the band? The Captain's Son. They're sick.

[Mark Gagnon]

The Captain's Son. Can we pull that up? I would love to see what they look like.

[Honest Ave]

Hey Miles. The Captain sign. Yeah, they're cool. And he. This is like the guy that got me inspired. Like, I mean all my brothers were like rock stars. So in. Yeah, it's all good. All my brothers were like rock stars. And like they all wanted to be. But these guys really inspired me. He used to have a band called the one youe love to hate. The third picture. Yeah, yeah, this is them.

[Mark Gagnon]

So which one's your bro?

[Honest Ave]

That's my brother right there. Oh, that's crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

I did not know.

[Honest Ave]

He's a lead singer in lead guitar.

[Mark Gagnon]

So was he making music when you were growing up?

[Honest Ave]

That man. They were called the one you love to hate. He was a punk band. Like I remember, bro. This is. I tell people this all the time. Like I fell in love with music because I grew up where like I would come home from school. My brothers just, you know, they're like my parents don't get home till 6:37 every night. Like you don't see your parents until 7:00 every single night. So I go home and I'm. And I'm little bro. I'm 8 years old and my 16 year old brothers all smoke a pot upstairs. Hiding it from the parents, locking the door. We're not allowed to hang out. You know. I can hear him playing music. I would. I would walk in and like hear muffled music upstairs, bro. And I would go up there and I'll try to get in. They wouldn't let me in the door. I'm little bro. But I would watch through this crack in the door. There was like a board that was like nailed to the door instead of an actual door and there was like a crack. And I would watch them like for hours play. And like there. He would have a buddy there with sticks and like they would. And it was like, bro. It was the coolest to me, bro. And they had like band posters, you know what I'm saying? In their rooms and like that. And they would have like instruments and they would. And they would be like smoking cigarettes. Yeah. Smoking cigarettes was cool. As I would be like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I know that feeling, bro. I might so My parents had seven kids.

[Honest Ave]

Holy.

[Mark Gagnon]

And so similar vibe. I'm number six of the seven.

[Honest Ave]

Word. How old are you?

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm 28.

[Honest Ave]

Damn.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Yeah. You built this.

[Honest Ave]

What am I doing? You built this at 28, man. What the am I doing, bro?

[Mark Gagnon]

Bro, I'm washed. That's what happens.

[Honest Ave]

Crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's what happens. Yeah. Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

You quit jerking off. You get so much time.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, I can't do that. I'm not ready for that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Not. Not far. You know. Eventually. Eventually.

[Honest Ave]

But.

[Mark Gagnon]

But yeah. So I was. I was 6 of 7 and yeah. Growing up in the house like all my older siblings were doing.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And I would just like peek through, like, I was just trying to get in and always given the uncle, like, unplugged in controller. Yeah, like, all that, you know?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Mark Gagnon]

So it was just like. It was. Yeah, it was one of those times. Like, it's weird because I feel like, generationally, like I'm technically Gen Z, but.

[Honest Ave]

When were you born? In 97.

[Mark Gagnon]

I was born at the end of 96.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, really?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. September 96. Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

You really hanging on to that 28 thing, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

I got till September. What are you talking about? Out of here, bro. I'm gonna be 29th of September. How many months is that?

[Honest Ave]

What? We're in. What?

[Mark Gagnon]

Dude, we're five months away.

[Honest Ave]

That's crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm not rounding. I'm not rounding down. When's your birthday?

[Honest Ave]

In April. I just turned 27. Stop it. I'm like. I barely got pimples, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm like.

[Honest Ave]

I'm a baby, basically. Are you serious?

[Mark Gagnon]

You look terrible.

[Honest Ave]

Dude, dude, look at me, bro. Oh, there's no mirror in here. Thank God for you, man. Yeah, this is. Oh, hell yeah. No, I'm working on the beard thing.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, the stash looks nice. I'll be honest. I, like.

[Honest Ave]

I just got it trimmed up. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Really? You went to a barber or.

[Honest Ave]

He came to me. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Okay.

[Honest Ave]

All right.

[Mark Gagnon]

Geez.

[Honest Ave]

No, no, no, no, no. It's this guy behind me. No, no, he. He just sent me a barber. He said I got to have a real barber.

[Mark Gagnon]

Okay.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, this said. He was grabbing my. Oh, damn, it was nice.

[Mark Gagnon]

What kind of barber was he? Dominican.

[Honest Ave]

I don't think I'm allowed to say that.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, you could say it.

[Honest Ave]

Puerto Rican. Well, doesn't it feel wrong if we say it?

[Mark Gagnon]

You were so proud of yourself.

[Honest Ave]

Feels like we're not supposed to be saying it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, Puerto Rican.

[Honest Ave]

Run me back.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Ask me again, you're done for.

[Mark Gagnon]

By the way, your career's over.

[Honest Ave]

I know, right? We're edging.

[Mark Gagnon]

Why would you say Puerto Rican right now, dude? That's so messed up, bro. You gotta say make it worse. You gotta say Mexican. I think that's your. That's terrible, Juan. I'm sorry. That was fucked up. I shouldn't have said that. Sorry. I think that's funny. Yeah, dude, but the. The barber, when they. When they come trim you up, they don't touch the hair. They only hit your stash.

[Honest Ave]

Nah, he like, man, this is. Are we going to get into this?

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm here.

[Honest Ave]

He trims me up in the back, you know, he gives me a little undercut this feels.

[Mark Gagnon]

It looks nice. Okay.

[Honest Ave]

This feels femboy. Yeah, man. So he just comes and cleans me up, you know? He kind of. He kind of comes in, you know, knocks off every single dead skin molecule on my face.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hell, yeah.

[Honest Ave]

This is like after four days of trying as hard as I can for it to come back.

[Mark Gagnon]

So, bro, I went to. I got married in. In 20, 22 days before my wedding. I was like, I have this crazy beard. I never do shit with it. I just let it happen. And I try my best. I don't know how to trim it. So I went. I was like, I'm gonna go to a barber for real to get my nice. And so we got married in Florida. I googled barbershop. I know I don't go to a barber. I go to. I go to, like, a salon. You know what I mean? I have, like.

[Honest Ave]

I have, like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, I got, like, a cute, like, sorority girl doing my hair, you know? I mean, like, I have, like, women. I have women. I don't let men touch. I just let women touch it. And. And so I go to this barber for the first time, and the only barbers in my area are all Dominican. So I pulled up, and I walked in there, I was like, hey, man, I'm getting married. And I think it was that day. I was like, I'm getting married in a few hours. I just need my beard trimmed up. You got me? He's like, yeah, bro, no problem, papi. Just sit down. And so then he starts to trim it. I stopped him. And I didn't know how to bring it up, but I was like, I'm. I'm white.

[Honest Ave]

Was he fading you in or something?

[Mark Gagnon]

I could feel him starting to see. And I was like. I was like, yo, just don't make me. I don't know how to say it.

[Honest Ave]

He faded me up first, and I looked it, and I was like, yo, I kind of fucked with this. Everybody in the room started laughing. The engineer especially. He started busting up, busting my balls.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're just not ready for it. And all of a sudden, you know, you're. You're Avery from Missouri. You know what I mean?

[Honest Ave]

I'm with, though.

[Mark Gagnon]

Say, hey, look, you're white boy Avery. And then you show up and you're like, suavente. Like, yo, what happened?

[Honest Ave]

You know what I mean?

[Mark Gagnon]

That's what I did. I walked out of there. I was like, yo, don't make me too Dominican. He's like, bro, he was laughing. He's like, nah, bro, don't worry. I got you. I was Dominican, bro.

[Honest Ave]

When you walked out, I was Zorro.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, I walked out of there, I was edged up perfectly. Like, my was square. Like, it was super thin. I called her because, like, you're not supposed to see your wife before you get married. So, like, I called her, and I was like. I FaceTimed her, and I was like, babe, I don't know how to tell you this. We're getting married in two hours. I up so bad. I'm. You're marrying Marcos. You know what I mean? I was like, I don't know how to tell you. And so I FaceTimed her, and she goes, honey, I love you no matter what you look like.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, word. She lied, like, a month.

[Mark Gagnon]

She lied, bro. She for sure lied. And then at the very end, she was like, yo, just trim up these corners so it's not so sharp. Make it more round.

[Honest Ave]

So what? That's. That was six years ago. Five.

[Mark Gagnon]

Five years ago. I mean, four and a half.

[Honest Ave]

Imagine being. If you're making years and still acting like a young dude, saying that he's young. You've been married for five years.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're as old as me, to be honest. You got tattoos and.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, I mean, you.

[Mark Gagnon]

You aged in super speed being from Missouri. You know what I mean? That's what happens, bro, when you grow up in the cold. Like, that's the only reason you look young. That's because you were frozen for five years. You know what I mean?

[Honest Ave]

That's what happens. You know, it's really cold in the winter and hot as in the summer. Yeah, it's terrible. So have you been to Missouri?

[Mark Gagnon]

I went to Kansas City, which is not even. Right, Right. It's Kansas.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. But, I mean, you know, that's cool.

[Mark Gagnon]

It was fine. Yeah, I mean, we just did shows there.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, word?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Like, just comedy shows.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, word?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

You do comedy shows? You stand up comedy.

[Mark Gagnon]

What did they tell you before you came here? They were like. You were like, yo, there's a tent.

[Honest Ave]

I think.

[Mark Gagnon]

What is going on?

[Honest Ave]

I think I got, like, a. They don't like to tell me a whole lot. They tell me I might start.

[Mark Gagnon]

They're afraid you're gonna bug out.

[Honest Ave]

Yes.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're just gonna come in here and be like, bro, I want to do comedy now.

[Honest Ave]

Damn. So this is a comedy show. Oh, all right. Bet. I was wondering what was up with all the racism.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm just trying to make you feel comfortable. I'm trying to make you feel comfortable. That's the way to Go, everyone from Missouri.

[Honest Ave]

Dude, that's so funny, bro, because it's on my bus. Like, my. I'm on the bus on tour with, like, all my best friends. Like these. I grew up with these guys, right? I mean, best friends with a stretch. But I did grow up all these guys. Like, I've known them since I was a kid. And our bus driver is, like. He's like a redneck dude, you know? And. And he owns a trucking company, and he's like, all that. So it's like, anytime, like, anything even gets close to that, we're, like, looking at him like, hey, bro, chill. Chill out.

[Mark Gagnon]

Not too much.

[Honest Ave]

Hey, not too much, bro. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Was the whole town you grew up in, was it all white trash or was there, like, other.

[Honest Ave]

So, you know, it's crazy, like, to be completely real, bro. I mean, you can Google it. Like, it's a notoriously, like, racist place, really, where I'm at in southeast Missouri, I think that the town that I grew up with was the last town in America to lynch a person for being black.

[Mark Gagnon]

What?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, so it's like. It's like a. It's like that whenever I was growing up, like, it kind of started to get more diverse. My godfather is a black man, and his kids are all black. And my dad, and they moved to town, and so there was like a family of. Of, you know, you know, 10 black people. And then the town next to me is Monette, Missouri, and they are famous for. They. They. Tyson's. Is. Is their. Tyson's chicken plant. And they don't. You can work there without any id, so you don't have to have a green card and you don't have anything. So they're. So. They're famous for that. So a lot of people come from Mexico to Monet, so there was quite a bit of Hispanic people. And then there was, like, a family or maybe two families of, like, black people, but it's like, mostly, like, those guys.

[Mark Gagnon]

Whoa.

[Honest Ave]

You know, like, it's like. Yeah, it's pretty rough, but. So how do I think it's getting way better, dude. And honestly, like, I visited recently and, like, even dudes that whenever I was growing up were like. And. And stuff, they're kind of, like, getting soft and stuff. I think. I think it's way better now.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, but was there a moment or was there, like, a development for you to, like, kind of get away from that? Because obviously you're not racist now, but, like, in the time where you grew up in the people, maybe it was like, A little sketchy. So, like, at what point did you realize, like, oh, that's fucked up.

[Honest Ave]

Well, dude, thankfully, I'm blessed. My stepmom is. She's from Atlanta, Georgia, and she's like. She grew up without any white people. And so I met her whenever I was four years old. And so she, like, I never. It was never like that for me. My house was always, like, a safe spot for shit like that. And my mom was very, like, she would let us know, like, whenever, you know, if we had, like, a friend. One of my good friends was a Mexican kid, and there was, like, times where people weren't treating him right, and she would, like, tell us, like, they're doing that because he's Mexican and why. And my mom also said, like, back then she would say finna or China or, like, she talked like she was from the hood. Like, she. She had more of a hood slang. She. She spoke in, like, aonics or whatever it's called. And so it was just, like, different. I think I was, like, really aware of it and. But I would. I would see it everywhere. But. But, you know, it was never, like, like, never in our house was it ever like that, right? Never one time grew up like that. Like, I always knew I'm. I wasn't say, like, the R word, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Ding. There's like a.

[Honest Ave]

Like, I was gonna let it slide.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm like, all right.

[Honest Ave]

But no, like, I wasn't allowed to say like that. Like, I, I. My stepmom was like, from the jump, she, like, let us know. So. But, you know, we grew up and we've seen it. And also, I think my stepmom is, like, my core friend group. And. And the people I grew up with are. Have more of a sense of, like, culture and stuff because of my stepmom. Like, like, you know, that she would. She would get like, yo. Like, you know, that's.

[Mark Gagnon]

So your stepmom really held it down.

[Honest Ave]

She held it down like a.

[Mark Gagnon]

And like, the, like, the house, like, you even mentioned, like, Josh's came through.

[Honest Ave]

Like, everyone, Josh's, man. We all got a Josh. Mine's name is Shay. Shout out to him. He's definitely gonna watch this.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy. And so they would just come over and just hang and, like, that was there, man.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, they would live. Live there, eat dinner. Like, Like, I would come home. Maybe the. Maybe me and my brothers aren't there for the night, and we would come home and my mom would have a hamburger, helper made. And Josh would be at the table eating it with, wow. You know, Trevor Davis, which is another dude that was like, down me.

[Mark Gagnon]

Did you. Did you fight growing up?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

But how?

[Honest Ave]

I had like mad older brothers often as fuck. Honestly. Yeah, we was like, fighting. That's kind of like. We were little shitheads. We was fighting every day, basically.

[Mark Gagnon]

Were you good?

[Honest Ave]

Who, me? Yeah. I mean, I've had my ass beat, but I, like, I can get down now. Yeah. What's up, bro?

[Mark Gagnon]

Honestly, you can't even help it. You can't even help think about the idea of fighting. You're like, yo.

[Honest Ave]

No, it's funny that you say that though, because I've always been like that. It's. I've always been, you know, like, not. I've always been down to. To. To, you know, squabble up. But I was just in Detroit or maybe. No, I was in Madison, Wisconsin, and I'm with my boys and we're on tour and this dude, we're walking across the street and this dude almost hit us with his car. And he rolls his window down. He's like, fuck you. And I was like, fuck you. And he's like, I'm going to pull over. And I was like, do it. And he pulls over. And so I'm like, okay, bet. I'm about to get my ones in with this guy. All right? I'm emptying my pockets, I put my hat down, I square up with him and I'm like. And we're just like, squared up for like a couple of seconds and nobody's. And I'm just thinking to myself, I don't think I have it in me to punch this dude. And it's like taking me a few seconds. And I don't punch him. And all of a sudden, here comes my boy Shay.

[Mark Gagnon]

Boom.

[Honest Ave]

Lights him up. Boom. Dude falls down. We ended up, like, getting a little squabble, but I never even threw a punch. I was like, trying to break it up. And then he. The dude, like, followed us up the block. And then my other boy, Hunter, the bus driver I was telling you about, he fucking clobbered this fucking guy. And, like, they ended up beating the shit out of this dude, but I didn't even throw a punch.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wow.

[Honest Ave]

So I think maybe now.

[Mark Gagnon]

Now you're old.

[Honest Ave]

Like, I'm a low key.

[Mark Gagnon]

Welcome to the club.

[Honest Ave]

I'm telling you, man, welcome to it. I'm pretty sure I'm a pussy now, but in.

[Mark Gagnon]

Back in the day, I remember you were confrontational, though. Like you enjoyed the Confrontation back in the day.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Actually, not. Actually, I never really enjoyed the conversation, but. But it was like. I was just about to say this earlier. Fighting was like a sport kind of. You know, it was kind of like I just wanted to win. Like, I never really got hella mad like that to, like, getting. Every time I could think of me being hella mad, I always got my ass, like, whooped. Like, the times where I was, like, fighting, trying to. Yeah, it would be, like, kind of more like a sport. And, bro, we would meet up like. Like, we did this thing on Fridays after school where we went into my buddy's backyard right when his mom built a fence, because it was, like, pretty small and it was like a square. And we would all meet up and just, like, throw ones there and, like, fight club and, like, bet for money. And you put money on it, just like, you know, five, ten bucks. And. Yeah, I remember one year, we were all. We all took bottle or sparklers. You ever made a sparkler bomb?

[Mark Gagnon]

No.

[Honest Ave]

Type.

[Mark Gagnon]

How do you make that?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, bro, so you get sparklers, a lot of sparklers, like, this many worth. And you just, like, black tape, you light one, it ends up blowing up. Really? Yeah, it's, like, crazy as.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, that's sick as hell.

[Honest Ave]

You gotta Google that. Oh, hey, Jamie, pull up. Pull up. Sparkler bomb on YouTube. I know a dude who got his hand blown off by this, but one. One year, we were betting sparklers near the Fourth of July on fights. Whoa.

[Mark Gagnon]

And wait, so you guys were fighting.

[Honest Ave]

And sparkling, like, fought my other buddy, Kenny. Yeah, look, that's a sparkler bomb. That's a tiny one, though. Oh, that's.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's a tiny one. All right, let's check it out.

[Honest Ave]

That's like a baby one, bro. Imagine this time.

[Mark Gagnon]

How. How fat would you make it?

[Honest Ave]

Dude, I'm telling you, I'm making them this big. I make them every year to this day, except they're federally illegal, so. I'm joking. But if I did.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. No, this a parody.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, this a parody. Parody's nuts. On your face.

[Mark Gagnon]

I was about to get you without beyond. I was about to.

[Honest Ave]

I seen them ladies outside earlier. You seen them, lad? Ladies. Ladies. Not.

[Mark Gagnon]

Tell you, April, you really. You really thought you were giving me that.

[Honest Ave]

Come on, bro, let's get to it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Let's see.

[Honest Ave]

Let's. Out.

[Mark Gagnon]

Damn.

[Honest Ave]

Now imagine that times 10. And then you put a barrel on top and you screw on top and it blows it like 100ft in the air.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, that's sick.

[Honest Ave]

That's that's what tweakers do. Did you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Did you ever get arrested when you were a kid?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

For what?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, bullshit. I got arrested whenever I was, like, 15 because I ran from. I got. They were trying to pull me over. I got a driver's license. I ran from the cops. And then, like, the next day they, like, knew where I lived, so they came and arrested me.

[Mark Gagnon]

I feel like running from the cops shouldn't be illegal.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. And like, dude, it was like, kind of. We had, like a. There was only one cop on duty where I'm from.

[Mark Gagnon]

You knew the whole town.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, there was a cop that got fired one time because, like, he would come kick it with us. His name was Tiny Tim, and he would, like, bring us weed.

[Mark Gagnon]

What did Tiny Tim look like?

[Honest Ave]

Oh, man. Bro, guess. Man, he was like 5, 10, 5, 6, 5, 7. He was like, you guys like cops in here? I like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Good people. I like.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah. But he. He was. He was a. You know, he was a cop, bro. He was a five, five cop. Like, wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

And you called him Tiny Tim to his.

[Honest Ave]

Tiny Tim was his name. That was. He. He used to live dad. Yeah, just Tiny Tim, my brother. Actually, one time, Tiny Tim tased him, and my brother hit him with a brick in the head and he locked him up, put him in the back of the car. And I remember my brother. I'm upstairs in my bedroom and I'm watching the cops talk to my parents. And, like, they got all this paper, you know, and my brother's like, drunk in the back seat. He's probably like, 17, 18. He's like, screaming, avery, Jamie. And we're like. We're like, what? Like upstairs, like, watching through the window with the window pulled up, he's like, watch this. He goes, I'm a countdown from five and I'm gonna break out of here. And the cops are like, shailen, like, chill out. Chill out. He gets all the way down to one and he busts the fucking window out with his feet, runs out in handcuffs, starts running down the road. Boom, boom. Running down the road, running from the cop jukes. That puts the AI moves on. And boom. Runs down the way. And I remember watching him getting tackled. It was actually low key, sad, but, like, looking back, hilarious.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's hilarious.

[Honest Ave]

You can get away with shit like that where I'm from because, like, you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Knew all the cops.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. And the cop would be like. Like, shayen could be a dumbass.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Like, I know your mom.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. He wouldn't pull his Gun and like try to shoot you, you know, or whatever. You know, there was one like, sheriff that was kind of an. And he would like pull his gun on anything. Really? Yeah. Like my. My home girl at the time, she was like smoking weed on. On a roof and he like pulled a gun on her and made her jump off the roof and she broke her foot.

[Mark Gagnon]

No way.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And what. What. Did anything happen to him?

[Honest Ave]

She got arrested and.

[Mark Gagnon]

But like, did he get in trouble for like making some teenage girl jump off the roof?

[Honest Ave]

No. Hell no. He's under investigation right now. I heard on Facebook, though.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. A lot of small town like that. For real? Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like the small towns, you know, everything. You know, everyone.

[Honest Ave]

You know, the people that own the stores that you're in.

[Mark Gagnon]

What's like. What's like the. The craziest thing you and all your boys or even like your siblings got into?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Like, as far as like just like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Shenanigans, you know what I mean? Like, I'm trying to think like we had. But there were some dudes behind my house, like it was my brother's friends, and they did a bonfire and they dumped gasoline on it.

[Honest Ave]

Oh.

[Mark Gagnon]

And you know this.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Explodes.

[Honest Ave]

Boom.

[Mark Gagnon]

And this thing rippled the entire. Like the window shook.

[Honest Ave]

Oh.

[Mark Gagnon]

And everyone ran outside. There's like two in the morning.

[Honest Ave]

Oh.

[Mark Gagnon]

And the whole neighborhood is freaked out. The fire department comes. It didn't really even cause a fire. It just was big as.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And like, I mean, everyone got in trouble. Like it was the whole thing. Like, there's all these like weird little storages even like in my suburbs. So I'm like, did you guys do like, like. Like crazier than that?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, that. That sounds like some pretty. That's some.

[Mark Gagnon]

It was fun.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. That's some crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

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[Honest Ave]

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[Mark Gagnon]

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[Honest Ave]

Yeah, I don't know shit like that, bro. Yeah, we had. Whenever I was growing up, we. I lived a block away from the middle school, which was, like, an old building from, like, the 1920s, and that ended up shutting down, and there was, like, four or five years where it was abandoned. So that. That was, like, a place where we would go hang out and we would run from the cops. But, like, where I'm from, bro, like, it's different. You know, I might tell you a story and be like, we would run from the cops. There's a story I tell on a different podcast where I'm talking about robbing the concession stand at the high school. Me and my homies did that one night, and. And we ran from the police, like, for hours, like, on foot. But it's different because, like, if you. You can't do that here. Like, in New York City, you can't do that. That you're getting caught. You're getting your door kicked in. You're getting. There's guns being drawn. There's cameras everywhere. Where I was at, it was like, a couple of cops trying to, like. And they're kind of having fun.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

And it's, like, not that big of a deal because it's like, what do we take 200 worth of candy from? You know, that. This tiny concession.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, they also probably kind of know.

[Honest Ave]

It was you, and they probably know it was us.

[Mark Gagnon]

So it's like, yeah, we're just gonna follow up with his mom tomorrow.

[Honest Ave]

Exactly. Like, literally. So. So. But. But that robbing the concession was crazy. But I think, just, like, in general, man, I really lived a childhood of, like, very little parents, you know? Like, it was like, I could pretty much do, you know, I could be home whenever I wanted. Really. You know, I never really. Like, I got in trouble sometimes, but I never got into, like, serious trouble. Like. Like, if I was in serious trouble, I'm, like, getting my ass whooped by my dad. I'm not, like, oh, really? Being grounded for a month. Like, I was never grounded.

[Mark Gagnon]

Got the belt on you for a month.

[Honest Ave]

The hands, bud. Oh, really? Are you serious, man? Get the hands, dude.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, square up or, like, was he like, unfortunately.

[Honest Ave]

Look, man, I don't think that, like, shit's cool, but, like, I think I. I wouldn't. I had to grow up how I did So I don't blame my dad for another. But yeah, bro, like, there would be times, like, I remember getting in trouble at. After one of my football games for, like, going and hanging out with these. With these kids instead of coming home. And, like, when I came home, like, my dad yoked me up, and, like, he's pulling me all the way to the bathroom, and I'm, like, trying to get away from him, and, like, we ended up fall into the bathroom or into the bathtub, and he's, like, on top of me, you know, like, smacking me. And so it was like that. But, I mean, you know, but that's only when I got in trouble for. That didn't happen a lot, bro. Like, you know, me and I only got in trouble five times, probably. You know, I would get in, like, petty trouble and. And have to do, like, somebody's chore or to take the trash out or some.

[Mark Gagnon]

Did you try to stay out of trouble?

[Honest Ave]

I just. Everybody around me was always in so much trouble, bro. I was always just kind of, like, around it. I never really myself. I never really, like, did to get in trouble, but friends were crazy as. And like, my brothers were, too, so I was kind of just around. I think that people knew that too. Like. Like, my parents knew. Like, you know, if there was, like, a time where maybe I'm getting in trouble, like, I probably, you know, wasn't the instigator.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right.

[Honest Ave]

I was probably just in the wrong spot at the wrong time, you know, or, you know, there was times where I was an instigator, too, but. But yeah, I don't think that, like, I don't know. They. They kind of seen me for who I was. Like, they knew that I was like. Like I was just an emotional kid. I was never, like, a bad kid. Right. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, it's not the exact same because I didn't. It's obviously the environment I grew up in was not at all like that, but, like, I would see my siblings get in trouble because, again, I'm. I'm number six like you. So, like, I would see my siblings get in trouble, and I'd be like, I don't want that to happen.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, definitely.

[Mark Gagnon]

So I was like, I just won't do that. Like, I got to learn from them. You know what I mean? Like, they got punished by proxy or, like, you know, I mean, like, I saw their punishments. I was like, yeah, good.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's like my sister's, like, doing drugs, getting DUIs.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, word.

[Mark Gagnon]

My parents are pissed. And I was like, yeah, she was in a biker game for a little bit. Like, she was like, the.

[Honest Ave]

How old is her?

[Mark Gagnon]

She's 35.

[Honest Ave]

What the fuck?

[Mark Gagnon]

Now she's got, you know, three kids.

[Honest Ave]

Damn. Do they know about the biker gang stories?

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't know if they do. I don't know if they do yet. Her kids are so cool.

[Honest Ave]

You got.

[Mark Gagnon]

I got four sisters.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, shit.

[Mark Gagnon]

Four sisters, two brothers.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, shit. Mostly girls in.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. And my. My brothers are the oldest, so, like, I was raised around women. There's only women in the house.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. Is that why. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Mark Gagnon]

You know when you have, like, a banana, like, in your lunchbox, like, everything kind of tastes like banana a little bit. Bit.

[Honest Ave]

I wish I could relate.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, that's me, you know, I mean, like. Like, I was just around a lot of bananas, so I got a little banana on. Right. I mean, so I like. I dress good. I cake my eyebrows a little.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. I never had a lunchbox. What?

[Mark Gagnon]

The blindside.

[Honest Ave]

We was eating school lunch. I mean.

[Mark Gagnon]

That'S crazy. So who was your craziest friend?

[Honest Ave]

Like, craziest as in what?

[Mark Gagnon]

Just, like, if you were hanging with them, it was like, oh, tonight's going to be a problem. Like, it's going to.

[Honest Ave]

To. Shay.

[Mark Gagnon]

Shay was the craziest one.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. The one that went to prison when we were 17. Yeah. Like, we was smoking. Like. I mean, like, you ever smoke Grape Vine?

[Mark Gagnon]

I've never heard of Grapevine.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, bro. Oh, this is actually like. Well, I was going to say, like, this is, like, some cool to do, but, like, now we're 30. Damn near. Just like, go back to being, like, 10 years old with your homies. And I could show you what it is. It's kind of like Grapevine is like, where we're from, there's literal grape vine. And so you, you, you. It's a. It's a vine that's empty in the middle. And you take it and you light it and. And you puff on it. It's almost like an incident. It almost burns like an incident. But you can puff on it and, like, blow it out like a cigar. You don't want to inhale it, but you can puff on it. If you inhale it, it will. But that's just because you're inhaling wooden smoke, not because it's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it just would feel like inhaling a fire. But you're not supposed to inhale. You're supposed to just taste it. And we was doing that from, like, he had Us on Grapevine when I was like 9 years old, like whoa. Walking around town.

[Mark Gagnon]

Chief and Grapevine.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, we would have like mad grapevine in our pocket. We'd go down to like the fair and we'd just be walking around like there was like joints of cigarettes or something.

[Mark Gagnon]

Would you buy them? You literally just pick them off the tree.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, you pick them off the tree.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's so you're Tom Sawyer character, bro.

[Honest Ave]

But, but I remember getting caught smoking Grapevine at Howdy neighbor days, which is the, the carnival. And like my dad, that was one of those times, man. He smacked in the back of the head, dragged to the car, you know, not going to be smoking. You know, like get that the out of hand, you know. We played sports too. So there was like a, you know, like kind of a. I don't know how like a lot of parents and stuff like that. They knew we were and like that. But then it would come like sports times and it would kind of be like straighten up. Yeah. And we'd have to straighten up and they would, you know, want us on their team. Cuz there's not a whole lot of people for the team anyways.

[Mark Gagnon]

So your dad was pretty rigid. Like he had like a pretty solid moral compass. And it seems like your stepmom was very like.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, my stepmom had the moral compass. I think my dad was just like, he just didn't want me to be a. He didn't want me to be like my mom. So I don't know that he didn't have like, you know that when I got older, like I started getting up with my dad, you know, like I started getting like when I was 20 years old, 21 years old. I'm like drinking and like on drugs, dude.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, what drugs are you doing with your dad?

[Honest Ave]

Well, I mean, I'm just like doing my own drugs at my dad's house. You know what I'm saying? While my dad was doing his own drugs. Oh really? He's popping pills. That was his thing. And like back then I would be doing like. Yeah, I would be doing like acid and blow and like that. And. And I would be coming over. Yeah. Up and just getting up.

[Mark Gagnon]

And you guys would just talk.

[Honest Ave]

Like we just talked. He was amazing. He was one of the boys. But. But also, you know, as I got older, like I kind of grew up. Like I saw really early and so I was like always kind of like I was what kept like my brothers talking to my mom and like that. Like I was the baby and I Was like pretty emotional. So like, and everybody knew that, you know, so, so I was kind of like the backbone of like us having like a family. So whenever I got older, like 21 years old, I might as well have been 40, you know, like to my parents.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right.

[Honest Ave]

They didn't.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're very mature.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, well, no, that mature. But just to them, they, they known, you know, the, that I know. I, I, I was paying my dad's bills for like a whole year one time. And nobody knew that my dad was like broke, but I was like, I had money cuz I was like selling weed and they knew that. And so I was, I knew that. Like my siblings didn't know and like that cuz I was like helping.

[Mark Gagnon]

You had a different relationship.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, my dad would hit me up and be like, yo, I'm, I'm shaking today. I ain't, I haven't like taken a Xanax in, in a week and I'm like puking today. And like my other siblings wouldn't know that. So you'd hit your boy until that. I never got my dad pills, not even one time.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh really?

[Honest Ave]

Never. But he would tell me though, and he would always cry afterwards because he would be like, I'm sorry. Because I never got him. No, because I don't with that but. And I never with that.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's, that's heavy. Like he's talking about like his addiction kind of. And yeah, like asking for help for sure, but like in the wrong way.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Facts.

[Mark Gagnon]

So how do you even broach that with him? Like you just, how do you hang up the phone in that situation?

[Honest Ave]

It would just be sad. It would be like. You ever heard like, bro, it's the most terrible thing for somebody like man, to, to look at you and you could just see that they're like, they, they're hurting. And like my dad, when he was like on drugs, he was like hurting and you. And if he was asking me for pills, that means that he's like feeling like, man, he's about to die or something.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

And so it would just hurt. It would just be like, ah, like I can't, you know, I'm not gonna get you pills. And I can't believe you would ask me that. I'm your son. Like, whoa, you know, like, like too far. I remember I got out of jail one time and he come and pick me up. His ass was like two hours late and I'm like, why the you late? And he was just like laughing. He was a funny dude. The Funniest dude ever. And he was just laughing, and he's like, what type of jail. What type of bird don't sing a jailbird? Like, just hop in. You want to ride or not? And. And then, like, we get halfway down the road, and he goes from, like, laughing and joking to, like, crying and being like, I'm sorry. I was trying to get pills, and I couldn't find them and blah, blah, blah, blah. And, like, I need your help. Can you help me find them? And I'm like, drop me off. Like, let me out right here. We're on a back road. I'm like, let me out right here. Like, before I punch you in the face. I can't believe you would say that. Like, I was just in jail, and I need you, bro. Like, you know, like, I. You're my pops. Like, you're supposed to be here to pick me up, and you're immediately asking me about pills. Like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah, and so it's kind of like that. But then, you know, at the same time time, I grew up where, like, I was raised by my siblings, you know, Like, I was raised by my older brother and my sister. My sister was like. And my stepmom, like, that's who I was raised by. So, like, I was never my mom's boy. I was always her homie. Like, I was always, you know, like, I knew what was going on. I was her homie. I was seeing. Nobody was seeing. I was never, like, I was my dad's son until I started having armpit hair and like that. And then it was like, oh, I'm a teenage kid, and I was. And he was working, and it was like, all of a sudden, you know, sports wasn't that important, and all of a sudden, like, doing father, son type just wasn't that important because he's got to work, and I'm a teenager. It's about time for me to start working. Like, as soon as we was 15, like, we all had to try to start a job, get a job. I never did, though. All my other siblings did. But I was. I always hated having a job.

[Mark Gagnon]

But you made some money some other way.

[Honest Ave]

Not in high school, bro. For real. No, I, I. My dad kicked me out when I was 18, and he was like, you got to get an apartment. And why'd he kick you out? Because I was 18.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, that was it. That was it. It's like, hey, time to move on.

[Honest Ave]

Time to move on.

[Mark Gagnon]

And all your. All your brothers got the same thing.

[Honest Ave]

Well, they all moved out Basically everybo. But my sister moved out when they were 16 because they wanted to, like, go be fucking whatever, so. But I was 18. Yeah, he's like, it's time to go. You got to go try to figure it out. If you don't have it figured out by 21, like, you can come stay for another year, but you got to go figure it out. And the weed thing just happened because. Are we allowed to talk about this? Yeah, the weed thing just happened because.

[Mark Gagnon]

As long as you don't have a.

[Honest Ave]

Case in a. Yeah, I'm in a. I don't have a case. I'm in a. I'm in a garage. I'm with that lady. Okay, this is my third. I'm about to tell you to pull her up here in a second. I'm with that lady, and she's got some tweaker ass friends over, and I don't even smoke weed at the time. And this crackhead comes in and he's got a pound of weed. Ever seen a pound of weed before?

[Mark Gagnon]

Just like, stacked up Saran Wrap?

[Honest Ave]

No, no, just in a giant bag. Like a trash bag, basically. Yeah, yeah. And he's like. He's like, hey, man, you think you can get rid of this? I'm like, thinking to myself, I'm about to steal it from you, tweaker. And I'm like, yeah, dude, like, let me get it. And he's like, here you go. And he's like, go try to get rid of it. Some crazy crackhead, right? Right. I go home, I call my boy. I'm like, hey, bro, this cracker just gave me a pound of weed. He's like, no way. And I'm like, what? And he's like, this guy just asked me if I knew where to get weed at. I'm like, what?

[Mark Gagnon]

Look at God.

[Honest Ave]

He's like, boom. He comes to me and he's like, I need a pound. Give him the pound. Flip it. Made 500 bucks that day. I'm tripping.

[Mark Gagnon]

So. Yeah, you're like.

[Honest Ave]

I'm like, tripping. So it just went from that, bro. I just started getting, you know, lots of weed talking.

[Mark Gagnon]

People get plugged up. They can get you stuff.

[Honest Ave]

Low key, though. For real. I was just a dude that was. I was just. I was just one plug and I. And I knew about five plugs and they all needed, you know, 10, 15, 20 pounds a week. And I was just facilitating that. For real.

[Mark Gagnon]

And how much money were you making, like a weekly basis when you were doing that?

[Honest Ave]

Deep in my. In my in my, like, prime. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

In the Wolf of Wall street days, probably, like, weekly.

[Honest Ave]

25,000. Probably what? In my prime, 25k weekly a week. Probably. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And so what is that?

[Honest Ave]

Like, I remember one weekend I spent $60,000 and I was like a nobody with no car. I had no. I was living in a sketchy apartment with roaches in it and shit like that.

[Mark Gagnon]

But if you're making 25,000 a week tax free, why are you.

[Honest Ave]

Metaphorically.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, yeah, of course. Like, if this is true, like, it's.

[Honest Ave]

Not true, but if it was in.

[Mark Gagnon]

The screenplay about your life. Like. Like a fictionalized version.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

In this fictionalized version, why would someone live in an apartment that has roaches when they're making 25?

[Honest Ave]

So. So I'm. I'm 18 years old. I got no credit. I got nothing like that. I. I'm buying. I got. I'm buying. Like, me and all my homies got fresh shoes on, right? We all got a car. We all got like a little car. We all got a little motorcycle. I'm paying my dad rent. I'm breaking off my. My brothers all the time. Like, I remember, like, I would go. The guys that I was selling weed to, they didn't count their money. You don't count 25, 000. You put it on a. On a scale and it weighs 2, 2, 500 grams. Because every dollar bill is a gram. And so you like. Like that's what you do. And you would weigh it. And so like a lot of the time, like, we would. Dude, this is so terrible. We would like set our scale a half gram, like, off. And so they would weigh up like 1500 extra dollars. And I would be like going and just I it to the boys. Like, that's kind of what we were doing for a while. And that, that was like, really like that. Yeah, there was a time where that was like, going really heavy, man. But. But my friends, like my two best friends at that time both got federally indicted for selling weed. So. So. And they're both still locked up. And one of them's going to be for. I'll never see him again. And. And the other one's going to be locked up for the next like, five years. So I was kind of just like. And that's another thing. I was kind of just in that circle. And like, that was a. I remember this time, bro. I'm at this point party, and I'm hanging out with, like, I'm the only white dude in the room. And everybody's got big old Guns. And. And we're like shooting dice. We're like throwing dice in the living room. And I remember a shootout starts to happen and these dudes start shooting and they run outside and my boy comes up to me and I'm thinking, like, I'm a G. Like, I thought I was a gangster, right? Cuz I sell weed to these gangsters. So I just thought I was one, but I wasn't, right? And he comes up to me and he's like, hey, bro, I want you to know. And he's. This is in the mid of people. Like, he's like, I want you to know, bro, you are. We think you're a cool white kid. He's like, you're a hippie, bro. Like, you don't have to be. He's like, we like you because you're sweet and you're sensitive. Like, we don't expect you to stay here and try to be a gangster. He's like, why don't you go and leave out the back door? And I ran out the back door and never seen him again. Never seen any of them again. Never. I quit selling, like maybe a couple of weeks later. And like, I was like, this isn't for me, bro. Like, yeah, this is getting scary. And like, my friends are getting locked up and people are getting shot at and like, we're getting robbed. I got my house kicked in before. I've been pistol whipped and all types of shit from people trying to steal weed. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Did it ever get sketchy? Like you're doing a deal and then. And I guess tense.

[Honest Ave]

So like, I was really like, oh man, bro. Metaphorically. Yeah, I was like really kind of just like I was like a DJ Khaled type where I was really never in the room, but I'm connecting all the people to be in the room. Or I would hire a driver to come, hey, yo, come pick this up for me and bring it over there. So I didn't really have to with it, but there was a time where my homie, I let him live with me and he was like a runner for. For me. And they assumed that he was the plug. And I got like these dudes, they come up to my house, they're like running up to my house. I could tell you the story. It I'm just tell you the whole story.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

All right. They're like running up to my house and I hear this car door. Like, it's like a car door slam. And I hear like an engine, like. And I look outside and I see these dudes running up with baseball bats. So I call my boy. I'm like, I'm getting robbed. I'm getting robbed. They got baseball bats. I throw my phone down. We're, like, looking for weapons, because at this time, I don't have any weapons. I'm 21 years old. I don't have, like, weapons or nothing like that. And boom, they kicked the door. My. My friend is, like, £400, so he's, like, hanging on the door. He's there, like, kicking him, and he's like, get something. Get something. Boom. The door flies open. I'm right in front of the door. The guy's right here. There's two dudes coming in, and a pistol hits the ground and slides all the way to my feet. And I look down and I look up, and I'm like, oh. And I realized their baseball bats were AR15s with silencers on them. They weren't even baseball bats. Boom. They got him, like, pointed at us, and they're, like, pointing them at us. And I'm looking at this pistol on the ground, and I'm looking at the dude, and the dude's got another pistol in his hand. He's like, don't even do it. And he grabs the pistol all slow, and he's like, everybody get on their hands and knees. My girlfriend at the time mouse off to him, and she's like, you're not gonna make me do. I'm like, shut up.

[Mark Gagnon]

Stop.

[Honest Ave]

Yo, yo, yo. Stop. Yo, yo, yo. The dude goes, it was Christmas time, so there's a tree and there was presents. He goes, it looks like it's Christmas for everybody. And nobody laughed. And she goes, that wasn't even funny, bro. In the heat of the battle, at.

[Mark Gagnon]

Least she's consistent, you know? She gives you. She gives you. But you're like, at least everyone gets.

[Honest Ave]

The robbers were getting. Yeah. So my boys are on their hands and knees in the last living room. Boom. I'm like, yo, it's my crib. So, like, he was trying to rob my boy, and he's like. I'm like, dude, it's my crib. And he's like, all right, take me to the. To the weed then. So I'm like, all right, bet. Come to the basement. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm going to get this guy in the basement. And, like, try to make a little move or something, right? And try to, like. You're thinking, this one, 1v1. This guy. Yeah. I'm thinking, they're going to kill us. So I'M like, what am I going to do? So we get down into the basement, and I have, like, all my weed over here, and I got, like, a bag of weed right here that's got, like, not that much weed in. I'm like, that's all I got. He's like, I know this ain't all you got. And I'm like, that's all I got, bro. And I'm looking at his gun, and I'm about to go grab it, and the next thing I know, I'm. I. And I'm. I got blood running down my face, and my whole shirt is. I had a white shirt on. It's covered in blood. And I'm on a couch like this, and this dude and is straddling me, like, he's, like, riding my dick. He's got a knee here and a knee here, and he's. And he's. And he's stepping up on me, and he's got the gun pressed on my forehead, and he's like, I know you got money. Like, where the some money at? So he had pistol with me, and I didn't even realize it. And, and whenever I come to, he's like, on me, being like, I know you got money. I know you got money. Where's the money at? I'm like, all right, let me take you up to the money then. It's upstairs. That's all the weed I got. He's like, all right. And so I go upstairs and. And now all of my homies that were on their hands and knees, they're seeing me walk upstairs with this. I look like I'm bleeding from my head, and they have silencers. So they're, like, scared that no he shot me in. So they're like, yo, yo, what the. What the. I'm like, I'm good. I'm good. And they're like, are you sure you're good? And I'm like, yeah, I'm sure. I'm good. So I go to my safe, and I. I used to put my 20s and my tins in one, like, case. Like, they would just be scattered around. And I put all my hundreds in. In this other case. And so the 20.

[Mark Gagnon]

How much cash do you have?

[Honest Ave]

At the time? Yeah, at the time, right then and there, I probably had 25, 000 liquid cash in the, in the safe. And I gave. I, I, I look, the guy's got a gun on the back of my head, and he's talking to his partner, and I grabbed the hundreds and I slipped him in my. My pants like this. And I turn around with the box, and I'm thinking, oh, God, he's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill me. I turn out the box, I'm like, this is all my money. He's like, I know this ain't all your money. I'm like, I swear, this is all my money, bro. He's like, man, you think I'm stupid, right? When he says that, boom, My door gets kicked back in again. And it's my homie that I text and said, they got baseball bats. And so, boom, he kicks my doorman. He's got a baseball bat. And he looks at me and he's like, literally in the heat of all this, he looks at me and he goes, ave, what the fuck, bro? They got guns. And I'm like. I look at him and I'm like, my bad, bro. I didn't know they got guns. I'm like, you ought to just leave. And he goes, he's got a catcher's mitt.

[Mark Gagnon]

You know what I mean?

[Honest Ave]

He's like, yo, I thought we were gonna play. Yeah. And then he's like. He's like, all right, fuck that. I'm like, t, then just leave, bro. And he's like, all right, I'm going to steal their hellcat. He said that out loud. And he runs out the door, and they're like, yo. And then you hear the hellcat take off down the street, and they. The. Everybody that was driving me runs out the door, and you hear, like, them shooting out the car, and then you hear the car, and then a door slam. And then boom. And. And so, long story short, I found out after the case, my homie stole the car. He went down, like, three blocks, jumped out the car, hopped back in his car and dipped. And they chased him for, like, a little while and didn't end up. End up finding him or whatever.

[Mark Gagnon]

So when they leave, they just chase him. And then you're. You're free.

[Honest Ave]

So I'm at the crib, and I'm like, boom. I got most of my money in my pants. About like 15,000 in my pants. They probably took 10. And then I got, like, most of my weed downstairs, so it's all good, right? And I'm. But I'm tripping. And I'm like, why the Did I just get robbed? Like, what even happened you. I don't do people bad. Like, I've never done bad business. Like, what the. All this? I was scared as I thought these guys were about to, like, kill me. For a long time I was like, hiding out for, like, we. I mean, I'm still paranoid to this day and, like, loud noises scare the out of me sometimes. But come to find out, my homie that was living there sold these dudes fake carts without me knowing. He put like batteries in it instead. And so they thought they were robbing him. And then I was like, yo, it's my house. So they ended up robbing me. And. And they were never really after me even. And I never saw them again. I never heard from them or nothing. Yeah, I pretty much quit selling weed after that.

[Mark Gagnon]

That was the moment.

[Honest Ave]

You're like, yeah, I mean, I kind of still did for a little while, but like, of course you get your. Yeah, yeah, basically.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

And what. What does. What is the moment, like, when you guys all go back to the living room? It's your boy. It's like, you know, I never went.

[Honest Ave]

Back to the living room.

[Mark Gagnon]

Your girlfriend.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, you mean like that night?

[Mark Gagnon]

That night, like, you got blood on your. Like you're covered in blood. Like, what do you guys do?

[Honest Ave]

It's like, I'm like, I told my homie, Wheezy, I was like, go somewhere safe. I'm gonna go to my brother's house. And me and my girl at the time, we went to my brother's house and we stayed there. And my brother's like a friend, hypochondriac or whatever. Is that. Like he's scared. Like, everything freaks him out. He's like, he called the police. What? And, yeah, he made like an ambulance come check out my head and all types of. And like, I didn't tell him what happened. They were like asking me and I'm like. And they were like, oh, so it's probably got to do with drugs. And if you're not gonna tell us. And I was like, well, I'm just not gonna tell you. And so, boom. And I lived with him for a few months, but I was like, in straight hiding. I thought these guys were about to.

[Mark Gagnon]

Get me and they're gonna find you some other way.

[Honest Ave]

It wasn't even like that. It was just 20 year olds probably hiding, high on drugs. They just wanted a little bit of weed. It turned out to be like this big scene. They probably didn't plan on hitting me. Yeah, you know, they probably didn't plan on anybody getting hurt. I got a big scar on the back of my head from that still. Yeah. And they like, the Puerto Rican bar.

[Mark Gagnon]

Would try to show it, bro. He tried.

[Honest Ave]

No he could, too.

[Mark Gagnon]

He could just.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah. Like, what's up with this white kid's hair? Nah. Yeah, it was crazy. That's wild. It was crazy as.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is that the closest brush with death.

[Honest Ave]

You had, you think? Wow. I mean, prob. Yes, it's up there. Yeah, it's definitely up there. Like, a few.

[Mark Gagnon]

Few.

[Honest Ave]

Couple close incidents and like, some. Some cars and like that, right? Like. Like going too fast and like that, but. But never. Never anything like that. That's the only, like, physical altercation where I felt like, yo, this could. I might lose my life right now. That is. And you know. You know what the scariest thing about that is? And my brother's been robbed, too, and he says the same thing. The scariest thing about getting robbed is whenever the other person on the other end of the gun looks nervous. They had masks on, so I couldn't see their face, but they were like. And it was like, yo, if this guy slips, he's gonna shoot me on accident, right? Or, like, if this dude gets a nerve and he just clicks his fingers.

[Mark Gagnon]

They're not pros. Like, pros know how to do it. Everyone's kind of fine. You get the.

[Honest Ave]

They're out, and you're like, oh, they're here for the. But it was like, these dudes might kill us, bro. Like, it felt like I didn't know if they was gonna kill us, you know, and. Crazy story. I mean, I'm a grown man now. Those guys. Like, if I were to meet those guys face to face, I'd shake their hands and I would. You know, we'd laugh about it. Yeah. I mean, games game, bro. And they were kids, and I was a kid, and, like, whatever. I'm sure that they didn't. They're not like that anymore. But one of those kids passed away shortly after on. Just on some. Like, on a car accident type.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, so you knew who it was?

[Honest Ave]

I found out who it was because on some. On some. Damn. What are they called? Detective. Yeah, we took a. There was a photo taken. I took a photo, right. Whenever they got in there of them kicking the door. I had my phone in my hand. I just did it, and I just threw my phone. And so we had a picture of this kid's shoe, and then we saw the marks on the. On the door, and they were Air Force ones. And so we just. We were just sending, like, my brother's a shoe plug in Springfield. Like, he owned a shoe store and shit. We're sending that picture to everybody being like, whose air forces are These? Because they're like black Air force, like. No, they were like, sparkly. They were like, different. And then somebody put us onto his Facebook profile picture, and it was this kid. I know his name. Yeah, that's crazy. Rip, though.

[Mark Gagnon]

Damn.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's wild, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, that's. That's too much. Like, that's like that intensity. Like, there was a kid I played ball with, like, I was like playing soccer as a kid, and like, he was like, super nice. And then he just got into, like, selling weed and then got into a situ situation. He robbed a drug dealer, killed him, life in prison, and that was it. Yeah, bro, like, it's so quick.

[Honest Ave]

So quick.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, it's just. It's such a shame.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, man. And like, you start living like that, and the thing is, is like, bro, you start getting around other people that are living like that, and it becomes like a cool thing. I was like, getting scared when it started to become like, I'm hanging around people who, like, got guns in their pants, and they're like thinking it's cool to be hanging out on the corner and smoking. And like, it's a cool thing. And that's whenever it starts to be like, oh. I was like, bro, I don't belong here, bro. I'm not cool. For real, bro. I just want a little bit of money.

[Mark Gagnon]

You said this a few times already. You said, like, growing up, you were emotional as always.

[Honest Ave]

And everyone knew everybody in my whole life.

[Mark Gagnon]

How does that manifest? What does that look like?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, man. Like, I was like, yeah, dude. I was just a crying ass kid, bro. It was hard for me to stay tonight with people. I couldn't say tonight with nobody until I was like 10 or 11. Which is funny because I was running around by myself for, you know, 15 hours in a day, but I just couldn't sleep at other people's houses.

[Mark Gagnon]

Who did you miss?

[Honest Ave]

My parents. Parents? Yeah. Like, miss dad and stepmom? Yeah. Bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, and I was also, like, emotional, like, as a kid, as a 10 year old kid on the basketball court, you know, getting frustrated with the game and crying in the huddle, like, type. I would get mad and cry and be like, I just, you know, like, why can't I do it? Like, I'm just trying to. Why can't I get the ball to the rim? Like, emotional kid, bro. Everybody knew it. And my dad, you know, there was times, times like I. I was my dad, you know, I talk about him being like, physical with me, but, like, I was Getting mad at my dad and running up to him with my chest out and what's up? Like, you know, but you, like, I don't even love you. Like, you. I remember my brother killed himself. I'll never forget this, bro. My brother killed himself. And it was like a week later, and my dad was like, on some drunk, and I looked him straight in his face and I was like, you're the reason that Shayn killed himself. And that's like the worst thing I've ever said in my life. And it's like, I'm a kid and. And then. But my dad. It was like two days later, I, like, went to my dad and I was bawling my eyes on. I was tell. I'm so sorry, and I didn't mean it, and it's not true. And he was just like, I know you didn't mean it. You're just like, me. He's like, we. We get upset and we say. And we don't mean it. And he's like. And I don't. I didn't take it to heart. And.

[Mark Gagnon]

And why did that come out? And then were you just angry about his passing?

[Honest Ave]

You're like, no, my brother was whose fault?

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, who. Who do I blame for this?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, who do I blame for this? And also, like, my brother, like, the. The fact of the matter is, man, is that, like, he was treated different than all of us. He was like, he. That's. The brother that. My brother that killed himself is the brother that my mom had out of wedlock. So as soon as it's time to get in trouble, guess who's getting it. Shayn's getting his ass beat in front of everybody. As soon as there's anybody that I would steal cigarettes from my parents and they would blame it on him, like. Like, there was. We would, man. Like, he. He. He was. He was mistreated in my crib, like, for real.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then you got, like, youngest child treatment. Like, they, like, they, like, took care of you a little more.

[Honest Ave]

A little bit.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then you saw what he was getting. You're like, oh, this is up.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, a little bit, kind of. My sister really got the best, like, treatment from the parents. She. She got it the best. My. My dad. I was so young, though, that my brothers had already, like. Like, my brother was. I was 15 when he killed himself. So I'm a freshman in high school, so that's four more years I live with my dad where, like, it wasn't even. Like, I. I didn't. I never basically had A father in high school, right? Like, I had a dad, and he would come to some of my games and like, that, but really, he was just this drunk dude that was struggling with the fact that his other kid killed himself. And. And. And the way it happened was just. Was just, you know, like crazy. And so he was, like, struggling with that. So I never really, really, like, had that. I think whenever I got older, though, I got like, the youngest kid treatment. That's whenever my dad would, you know, he would come to my house and we watch the game. You know, we was like homies. And he would. And, you know, we talked about more and. And like, I felt like, way more connected and. But. But growing up, the boys kind of all got it the same. My sister's really the one that kind of got the. The good treatment, which is cool, though.

[Mark Gagnon]

How did the rest of your siblings take it when your brother passed?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, bro. So, I mean, mean, like, they weren't around, bro. Like, I was the only one living in the house at the time. One of my brothers was in Ohio with his dad. My other brother was older, and they had both. They were living, like, in California at the time. And so me and Shayn were spending a lot of time together, and they don't really. It's. It's all different, bro. Like, I found Shayn, and Shayn was. He called me right before he died. I was the last person he talked to. And so it was different as, like. Like, nobody else had to experience that. So I don't even know what it's like for them. I. I have no idea. Like, him dying for me was so traumatic and. And. And so many things happened. Like, I. You know, I was worried that it was going to happen. We had talked about it before. I was hanging out with him the night before. Like, he called me right before he did it and was like, come home. I want to talk to you. Like, blah, blah, blah. He. He probably expected me to come save his life, you know, but I was 15, and I couldn't help him out. Like, when I seen him, like, choking, I. I couldn't, like, pick him up. He was too heavy. And so it affected me way different than everybody else. I wonder that to this day, I asked my sister, like, like, what is it? Like, Because I don't know. Their brother died and he killed himself. But, like, they didn't have to. They didn't. Like, it was just different, bro. Like, they weren't necessarily around, and their brother just kind of, you know, killed himself. So they just kind of got that, like. Oh, yeah. Like, we got to be more aware of people's mental health, like, type situation. It was never like.

[Mark Gagnon]

But you. You were in it.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, and my dad was, too. So, like, when I found my. My brother, I screamed for my dad, and he was the second person to see, and, like, he's the one that cut him down off the rope. So. So he was like, that affected him, too. I got to see how that affected him. And. And I see myself in that a lot. Like, you know, there. There's, like. There's like, some. You can't escape when you see some, like that, like, it you up. Right. Like, psychologically. So, like, it's honestly kind of a thing that me and my siblings don't talk about that much. You know, I don't even know. They might talk amongst themselves about it, but they don't bring it up around me that much. Probably just because it's so. So it's just such a sore, crazy subject, but. And then if they want to hear about it, they just turn on YouTube and look it up. So.

[Mark Gagnon]

And you're already predisposed to being emotive and emotional. Like, not only are you emotional, but now you experience this traumatic thing. Like, did you and your pops ever talk about it after? Like, when you guys are hanging out?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, not really.

[Mark Gagnon]

Never comes up.

[Honest Ave]

Well, I mean, I tried to talk about it with him, but he would, like, he was. You think if I'm emotional, man, he was. Times 10. Like, he would just tell me, shut. Like, he would start crying. I'd be like, shut up. I can't. Really, I can't. We never talked about.

[Mark Gagnon]

He would push his emotions down more.

[Honest Ave]

He would say, stop talking about this. I don't want to cry. You're going to make me cry. I'm crying. Stop. I get it. It was bad. He'd be like, yeah, it sucked. It sucked. And, like, let's not talk about it. So.

[Mark Gagnon]

And was this your brother?

[Honest Ave]

Was.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is this your same mom?

[Honest Ave]

Yes. Yeah. Y.

[Mark Gagnon]

And how did she handle it? Like, was she.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. I'll never forget this, bro. So I called my mom, so, boom. Okay. So, long story short, the night before my brother, my mom is with her boyfriend, and she's. And they're in this big fight, and my brother, like, comes and gets me, and he's like, let's go beat Nick's ass. That's my mom's boyfriend's name. Like, all right. Bet we go out there, my brother beats the. Out of this guy, and then he, like, pees all over his, like, clothes. It was funny. It was all this. We go home and I realized I'm like, something's off. Like these. They're high. Like, they're. They're on something. Like something. So I could just tell. And so my mom was like going through this relationship where she was like, kind of. She felt like she was enabling my. My brother to. To be a hoodlum right at the time. Like, now my mom's an amazing person now. She's a great grandma. She's like, sober, all that. She's great. So we talk about. About it now, but back then, you know, she was just kind of in the. In the middle of it. I remember bro calling my mom. So, boom. I. My brother calls me. He's like, come home and do your chores. And I'm like, shayn, bro, you. Like, it's. It's Saturday or whatever day it is. Like, I'm not coming, bro. Like, I was just out hanging out with my homies. Like, stop. He's like, bro, come on, please. And I'm like, oh, something's wrong. I hang up the phone, I call my dad. I'm like, what's up with Shayn? He's like, he's pissed off. Like. Like, don't even with him. And I'm like, no, you idiot. Like, what the. Like, he's. He's like suicidal right now. Like, he's been talking about it all week. So, boom, I come home, I'm like, go ask my dad where's he at? He's like, he walked out back. I run out back. I'm like running out back. There's like a garage. I see him. He's like choking and he's like, got a. He's like had hung himself and the chair is like falling down and like that, and he's like choking. But he's not like totally dead yet. He's like, his eyes are glossy and like that, and he's like pretty much dead. But he's got his hands like he was trying to save himself, like he regretted it. And so I'm like. I grab him by the feet and I'm like 15, and he probably weighs like 180. And I'm like, I'm like, weak 15 year old. I'm like trying to pick him up. I can't pick him up. I'm screaming for my dad. My dad comes out there. I'll never forget it. He like grabs my. The rope and he punches it and it snaps. Can you imagine that? Boom. My brother hits the ground. I run Inside, I. I grabbed a phone. It was a cord phone. We had a cord phone at the time. My mom, my stepmom, is in a. In a full body brace because she had her ribs taken out. And so, boom, I'm like, trying to beat around the bush. I'm like, my brother, because I don't want her to get all freaked out. And I'm like, I can't leave the room because it's a cord phone. And I'm like, my brother tried to hang himself herself. Boom. She gets up, she runs out there. It's like all hell is starting to break loose. I run out to the front. I'm screaming, and I'm like, my friends are there, and I'm like telling them, like, shaylin just killed himself. And I run out to the front, and my homie lives across the street. And I see his dad. He's the first responder. His dad comes running out in his boxers, bro. Dick flying around like this grown ass, man. He got defibrillators. His flopping. I will never forget that. I've seen it from a block of blood way. I'm like, damn. All right. So he come. His wife's pretty, too. Her name Kim. I'm like, damn. All right, okay, we get that mystery solved, right? So. But he's got defibrillators, bro. And he's running across the street, and he's shaking him up while he's running across the street. And I'll never forget, he, like, runs down, boom. Hit Shayla chest. He doesn't come alive. I go down there. I'm like, grabbing Shayla by the head, and I'm like, you know, begging him to come alive. And he's like, boom, Pumping his chest, and he's. He won't come alive. And then. So I go into the front, and I. The first person I call is my sister, and I'm like, hey, this just happened. She's like, oh, my God, Call mom. And she had to, like, pull over and all this. And I called my mom, and, dude, I'll never forget this. Your question was, how did my mom handle it? My mom gets to the crib. She hasn't. She. They don't. My mom and dad hated each other. I never seen them hug. I've never even seen them high five. I've never seen them look at each other for more than two seconds. I've never seen that. And they hated each other. And my mom ran straight to my dad and gave him a hug. And she went to the front yard and she started punching Punching her hands like this, and she was being like, why, why, why, bro? She wouldn't stop. The flesh in her knuckles started flying in the air. She had blood on her face from punching her fingers like this and the flesh just going everywhere. I remember seeing my mom's like, bones and her fingers, like, moving like this, like it was crazy. That's how she dealt with it. And then she went and she slipped into it. And both of my parents after that for like five, six years were like, really bad drug addicts after that. After that, I pretty much didn't have parents. Like, I. My stepmom tried her hardest and she was like, doing her thing, but she was working. And my dad, like, qu. Completely and like, you know, turned into this dude that, like, got his money from the government and. And. And yeah, and my mom kind of took care of us from then on, and boom. And then my real mom got sober about like, maybe like six years later. She's been sober for like, five years or something.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wow.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And did that event help her get sober in any way?

[Honest Ave]

It had to, right? I don't know. I've never actually, like, had to, right? Because like, that. That was like. I think it. It pulled her out of a crazy, crazy, shitty situation and it, like, low key put. My dad traded their spots kind of, you know. But yeah. Crazy story, huh, dude?

[Mark Gagnon]

Jesus Christ.

[Honest Ave]

Goddamn. Cut the tension here with a knife. This is a comedy show. Yeah. And then after that, my brother got up and he was like, I'm joking. He's like, hey, kids, it's me. I bet you thought that practical jokers the whole time, Ashley Kut come walking around the corner, he's like, you got pun, you got punt, bro. Yeah, bro, it was crazy, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

How did you cope with it? Like, what was your. Did you have.

[Honest Ave]

Did they.

[Mark Gagnon]

Was there any, like, did anyone come to you? Was there like a teacher that was like, yo, you went through some. You should talk to someone, bro.

[Honest Ave]

I was. I started, like, writing poems and a lot then, and I was like, I was. I still played football and all that. Like, I was on the team. Like, I was. I was in organized sports. Thank God for that because I think that took my mind off it a lot. But, bro, no, I have a memory of that year, my freshman year. There's. There's a teacher, her name's Miss, to be exact. All right, maybe don't put her name in there, but I was sending her poems, bro. Like, I went back and read them as a 20 year old. Like, they were being like, I Was basically in these poems being like, hey, my dad's beating the out of me at home, everybody's drunk and doing drugs, and my brother killed himself, and I watched him die, and I need help. And she would be like, cool poem last night. A. She would be like, hey, I didn't get to read that one. I'll catch the next one. And I would send them to her nightly begging for help, bro. Like, basically doing everything except saying, will you please help me? And they never gave a. Bro. Nobody ever gave a. For real. I think that, like, there were some teachers in my school that were, that were like, guilty of bullying my brother, and they, like, apologized to me and, and that kind of made school even worse because then I'm coming to school every day and I'm thinking, like, oh, you bullied my brother. And, and like, you, you feel so guilty that you want to apologize to me?

[Mark Gagnon]

You.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so I was like that. I was like, fuck you. I skipped school, bro. I never really went. That was my freshman year here. I turned into this kid that I, I, I only like the cop come to the school my sophomore year and was like, I had a warrant for my arrest just for, like, traffic violations because I didn't pay. And he was like, hey, man, if you play football, then we want to arrest you.

[Mark Gagnon]

What?

[Honest Ave]

And so I basically was this kid that got away with never going to class and never doing any of the. That I had to do because I played sports and, and like, I was, I was the quarterback and I was the leader of the team and like, that. So they were just giving me, like, I, I like, bro, I missed 80% of my classes. Wow. And I graduated. Like, I have a high school diploma and I had, like, these, and like, I never went to school. I never turned to my work. It was just football and basketball and just, they just let me be. And they just let me kind of do my thing. And I think also nobody ever talked to me about it, but everybody kind of knew, like, hey, this is what's going on at Ave's house. Like, be easy on them. I would go to the library and sleep for four hours every day. You know, I would, I would, like, I would get lunch and, and go eat it, like, somewhere else.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, so you a nice place. Football, though?

[Honest Ave]

Not really. Not like, I was nice, like, at my school. Like, I got, I got like, the touchdown record and, but like, I was, that was class one. Like, I, I would have been sitting on the bench anywhere. For real. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

That is crazy.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

So were you into music at that point?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah. I released my first song when I.

[Mark Gagnon]

Was like 6, 15, kind of in the wake of that experience.

[Honest Ave]

And that was like kind of something that like parents like hated on me for and they like didn't want their kids to hang out with me because I was making rap music.

[Mark Gagnon]

And so at that point you're probably. You're into Mac Miller then?

[Honest Ave]

Come on, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

How'd you know that?

[Mark Gagnon]

Come on.

[Honest Ave]

Huge. Massively.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, but like that was your guy.

[Honest Ave]

Even raised me. Yeah, bro, like. Like that. That. I loved Eminem back then. I loved Pink Floyd back then. I loved Kurt Cobain to this day even still. These are. These are people that are like. I don't want to say idolized, but I look looked up to. Mac Miller was definitely one.

[Mark Gagnon]

That was the one.

[Honest Ave]

I'm smoking cigarettes in the bathroom. I'm locking the door, man. I'm turning on. I'm making it Stevie in there. I'm turning on. Mis. Missed calls by Mac Miller, baby. I got missed calls and emails. What? I'm like what, 15, right? Feeling like, man back. Me too, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

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[Honest Ave]

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[Mark Gagnon]

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[Honest Ave]

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[Honest Ave]

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[Mark Gagnon]

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[Honest Ave]

Rated M for mature.

[Mark Gagnon]

So when you start rapping, rapping, are you kind of emulating Mac a little? Are you channeling that energy?

[Honest Ave]

I've never ever. It's always just been my own. I've never felt like that. No. I was kind of like a lyrical rapper. I was kind of like trying to tell like a story. I remember I had a song where I was like, I was like 15 and I was like, I was like, it's dark. Walking with the headphones on. He got a problem like, type like that. Like, like trying to paint some picture. Yeah, I was never, I never really like took after anybody specifically. I think like everybod buddy was just kind of my like muse for, for like music. I was just making music, like everybody's influence right at the time. But I was making rap music because I wanted people to think I was cool.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Did it work?

[Honest Ave]

I don't think so. I'm pretty sure it didn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it worked.

[Mark Gagnon]

But did you collect? Like, did you connect with other artists, like other musicians?

[Honest Ave]

There was nothing like that where I'm from.

[Mark Gagnon]

No. Not even one other kid doing rap.

[Honest Ave]

Music or like a buddy that, that lived with me, that is the one that got me into to it and he's from Jacksonville, Florida or he like moved to Missouri and then moved back and then came to Duvall. Yeah, that was like a best friend of mine and he's the reason I started. But no, there was nobody. There's not a single person in my school that made music. Not even one person. I think the only other people that made music were my older brothers eight years before me.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right.

[Honest Ave]

Like there was nobody.

[Mark Gagnon]

Did you ever hit them? Like Yo, I want to make music. Like, do you have any advice? Like, did you ever reach out to your brothers, bro?

[Honest Ave]

They didn't fucking with me. Really? They did not with me. Yeah. That's funny now, because I don't hold grudges, like, for that. Like, it's cool. I think you work towards that. Like, I. They did not with me. They did not take me serious. They did not with me. I didn't get my. My only brother that supported me was the one that's close to my age. I did not get my family support until Overdose dropped. Like, no. My. My dad was even being like, yo, it's time to, like, you're 24. It's time to, like, stop doing music and start, like, trying to get a real job. My brothers, anytime I talk about it, they would even want to. Nah, they didn't with me, bro. I remember my oldest brother made me cry one time. He was like, you don't know the difference between a hook and a verse. And I'm like, what the. Like, I've been. I'm, like, 18, and I'm like, I've been doing this for three years. Yeah, I do. Like, what are you talking about? But he was, like, disrespectful. So, yeah, they didn't. They never with me, and that's the complete truth. And they can suck my dick to this day for that. All of them, they support me now, but they can all suck my dick, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

So the brother closest to you in age, what does he do?

[Honest Ave]

He owns shoe store. Yeah. He's a gangster. Yeah, he's a. His name's Jamie the shoe. The company is called Jamie Shoes. It's insane. He hooks you up, man. I wish he did hook me up, man. Give me a discount, James. You know, I. I pay full price.

[Mark Gagnon]

So you hook him up.

[Honest Ave]

But I'm. But I'm. I'm stacked, though. Like, I got a badass shoe collection.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wow. That's. Bro. I'm like, this is just insane. So by the time you get to Springfield, how old are you?

[Honest Ave]

I'm not. I think I'm 19. I might be 20 years old the first time I moved Springfield.

[Mark Gagnon]

Okay.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. And I'm the only kid that never went home. Every other kid went home. I'm the only one that never went back home. Since 18 years old, I've been out and by myself.

[Mark Gagnon]

And the plan was music.

[Honest Ave]

The plan was music, man. I was so wrapped up in selling weed, though, I thought I was gonna be Escobar. Like, I literally was thinking, like, I was gonna be this dude that had, like, millions of dollars at 40 years old from selling weed. Like, I'm not joking. I. I really did think that there was, like, I was taking, like, I took a. A flight whenever I was like, 22, from Missouri to LA to, like, check out, like, a weed warehouse. And these kids have, like, yachts and Lamborgh. I. I was thinking, like, this could be it. I was thinking, this is what I'm like.

[Mark Gagnon]

So for a little bit, weed, like, the drug game was first, music was kind of second.

[Honest Ave]

Right. But I was doing it every day still, you know, releasing Helica. I love it. Yeah. But it was kind of like, did.

[Mark Gagnon]

You have a plan three?

[Honest Ave]

Nah. Terrible at having jobs, bro. I always knew that I was gonna be a writer, though. Like, I've always loved writing. I've always, like, I. I used to tell myself, like, I'm either gonna. I mean, I was edging being a loser, dude. Dude, Like. Like, I wasn't until this started working was like, last year, bro. I was straight smacking that. And with not letting it come, I was. I was edging being a loser, bro. I was 24 or 25 and. And nothing was working. And I was releasing music that nobody was listening to, and I was making Tick tocks and like that. And like, it just really wasn't working until I started getting paid on Tick Tock. And then it was like, okay. And I put weed down and I'm like, oh, I can make Internet money. And I started making Internet money, and there's like, oh, you know, I went straight from weed money to Internet money, which is like the same thing. Basically. Internet money is stupid, you know? And so I just kind of made that transition and then.

[Mark Gagnon]

And you're dropping a song a day.

[Honest Ave]

A song a week or song a week every Friday. Yeah. Yeah, a song a week. So I dropped like, 250 songs in a row.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like the Rust model in a way, like.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, I never really, like, there's. I just. I always just did it, man. I don't know, man. It was just something in me that did it. It was never really, like, I never thought, oh, I'm gonna keep going and keep going until, like, it just did. It just kind of happened like that.

[Mark Gagnon]

And what was the first song you dropped? Like, how many songs did it take until you got one that you were like, yo, we're. We.

[Honest Ave]

We.

[Mark Gagnon]

We got something.

[Honest Ave]

Like, we got Beauty is the first one.

[Mark Gagnon]

So how many songs in is that?

[Honest Ave]

I mean, they're like, recorded or posted.

[Mark Gagnon]

Posted.

[Honest Ave]

302, 250. 300. Yeah. But, like, I had songs that had, like, 50K and 100K, and I was, like, feeling like, yo, what? Like, Like, I was feeling like that. Take me serious. But. But it was nothing for real, you know, it wasn't until, like, it wasn't until Overdose connected with people. And the thing is, I changed my style. Five songs before Overdose, I started, like, making music for myself, and I started, like. I quit rapping and quit making music, trying to be cool, and I started making music like that I wanted to hear literally probably five, maybe ten songs before Overdose. And then I really fell into my lane, and it was like, then I was in the studio every day for 12 hours a day, and I was spending all my money. Like, I ended up. Bro, imagine. Imagine. I'm not selling weed anymore, but I'm still making probably 3, 500 a week, which is where I'm from. That's a hell of money. But I'm spending it all in the studio. I'm spending. I'm spending a thousand dollars three days in a row in the studio, doing ten hours a day, and I'm, like, living out of my truck, and I'm, like, sleeping with my girlfriend at her house, and I'm, like, eating food from her work because I'm spending every bit of my money in the studio. So my friends would be like, what the. Like, you're making money, bro. Like, we're not making near as much money. Like, where the your money at? What the dude would be like, I. I'm in the studio, like, reinvesting. I've been in the studio, but. But I. But it felt like a waste. I never felt like I was investing in myself. It. Everybody always made me feel like it was a waste. And I always felt like I was addicted to the studio. It made it feel like a bad vibe for me. Like, it almost was like, you know, like, as if I was going and, like, drinking or something. Like, I would go to the studio because it would be like my getaway spot. And, like, it. I felt cool in the studio. And so I was, like, lowkey addicted to going. I would have 200 bucks and my light would be due tomorrow. And it's 1775 or the studio. I can go for two hours for 200, and I'll go for two hours for 200 every time. Wow. And so it didn't feel like I was reinvesting. It kind of like I was being stupid. But, you know, it worked. I think that's just like working out.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think that's an important lesson though. Like, you put out. You said 300 songs almost probably damn near before anyone really gave a. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Honest Ave]

And honestly, bro, yeah, yeah, yeah. And. And like, I don't know, man. Really gave a. Is a.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is.

[Honest Ave]

Is a. Is a term. Like, I don't even even think that. I don't think Overdose made people really give a. I think Overdose was like the song that made me connect with people and stuff. But I think it was like the song in two and three after that that made people really. And like the video. And I think people give a now because, like, I go to my shows, bro, and there's 500 people in front of me or there's a thousand people in front of me and they all look just like me. You know what I mean, bro? They. They all look just like me, bro. It's like you. You couldn't tell the difference who's. Who's performing tonight, you know? And we all got the same, same trauma and we all like, we're just. We're these people that like the, the. You know, I've always said this since I was a kid. If you grow up super, super dirt poor, you get, you know, and. And you. You get an attention, a certain type of attention from the government. Government assistant, you get a certain type of attention from, you know, teachers and like that. They know, okay, this guy's like, you know, you might get. Whether it be good or bad, you get a certain type of attention. And then it. When you're rich as you get a certain type of attention of like, okay, this kid gets treated like this at school and like this as far as like tax breaks and like that. But when you're right in the middle, you don't really get you. It just kind of. You go under the radar. It's like we're ghosts. Like, people like me have always just been like ghosts. Like, I grew up kind of shitty, but not as shitty as some of my friends I grew up. You know, I had like a American Apostle shirt on still, right? Like I, you know, I was getting cool hand me downs and like that. Like, but. But it was always like we were. I was ghost mode. It's like I didn't matter to. You know, there was people in my school that had it worse than me and they would get better treatment and there was people that it better for me and they would get better treatment. And I always just got, you know, middle class treatment. And when I go to a show, I'm like, oh, this is a thousand people that are just like me. And so it, it, it feels like if that's what feels like people are starting to care. You know what I mean? It doesn't feel like a song ever, did it? I really, I really believe that, like, it's more than just like a song. It's like people started to care whenever they like started to hear the story or they started to relate to me. You know, they, they flip me on the TV and they're like, oh, like I was just hanging with a guy just like that yesterday. Yesterday or oh, you know, there's things that have happened to me in my life where it's like my close circle, man, they know, like, and so I, I'm like an open book on the Internet. I might get on here and tell y' all how my brother killed himself, right? Like I'm an open book. And there's people that see that and they're like, oh, like, you know, they see themselves in that. Or maybe they want to be more open or whatever. And I think that's really what, where the connection like, started.

[Mark Gagnon]

Were you closed off at any point when you were making music? Like those first 300 songs, was there part of you that was like, man, I want about to talk. Talk about the real.

[Honest Ave]

But like, I definitely, bro. I, One of the reasons why I, I left my long term girlfriend is because she made me feel like. And, and, and, and this wasn't her fault. This was like an internal battle that I was struggling with. But I thought that she made me feel like she wanted me to be a gangster. And so it was like I, I had to hang out with, with, with dudes that were, you know, gang banging. Like, I had to make rap music. I had to do these things. I had to talk in a certain way because that's what I thought she wanted. That's not what she wanted from me. I'm sure we were just kids, but that's what I thought she wanted from me. So at that time, like, I was, I was more closed off and I was, I, I, I was struggling with like, pride shit, you know. Of course I was like, yeah, that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Ego is like, yo, you're hard, you're tough. No one can with you.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that my boys were like, were like, really about that. I was never really about that, but they really were. So it was like, it made me just feel cooler and different. And also my best friend bought me a badass 370Z. Like a badass 2017, 370Z because he was loaded from selling weed. And so, like, I'm driving like a badass car making rap music.

[Mark Gagnon]

So you have everything.

[Honest Ave]

You should be thought so.

[Mark Gagnon]

You should be good.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

But you being real.

[Honest Ave]

But I wasn't being real. You know, it's funny, I. I remember I met Waka Flocka. I did a rap show. I opened for him. I pushed my way to the back. I basically made him give me a conversation. And he was like. And he was like. I was, like, complaining. I was like, man, I didn't have a great set tonight. And he's like, you sound like a. Imagine Walker Flocka telling you, you sound like a. I'm like, oh, really? Walk. Actually, you're right. I do. I'm like, oh, really? Walkie? And. And he's like, yeah, man. He's like, look at you, bro. You sound like. Like a. He's like, you got. You got all these things that you want. And he's like, it's going good for you. And he's like, you don't see the bigger picture? He said, you're never going to go anywhere with that girlfriend that you have. He said, you. You got to leave your girlfriend if you want to be anything.

[Mark Gagnon]

How did he know?

[Honest Ave]

Just from the conversation that we had, you know, about, like, just certain things. And. And I never brought her up, but he could see that I was trying to be cool to impress the people that I was around. And he basically was like, cut that out. If you ever want to make it, you got to cut that out.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, he's. Waka is sharp.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, he's like. And his mom is a.

[Honest Ave]

Is a.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is a boss. Like, she. She runs it, and she's extreme. She's brilliant. And he's. He's smart like her.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, he's huge, too. You met him? Oh, yeah. He's like.

[Mark Gagnon]

He's six, seven.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, Yeah. I give him bucket stuff.

[Mark Gagnon]

Stop.

[Honest Ave]

I would give. I would give him bucket.

[Mark Gagnon]

He literally goes hard in the. In the paint. Like, that's like his thing. I don't know if you know that. I created the paint. Stop it.

[Honest Ave]

I'm telling you, bro. I'm giving him buckets, though, for real.

[Mark Gagnon]

What. What's. What's your highest scoring game in what? In high school when you were playing in basketball?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

40 out of here. There's no way.

[Honest Ave]

Threes in one.

[Mark Gagnon]

No.

[Honest Ave]

In one game, One time. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I think you can pull up my huddle, but you're only going to see a football clip Somebody pull up the huddle.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, we really need that.

[Honest Ave]

I think I might have a basketball clip on there. This. This is crazy. I'm from such a small school, bro, that. That. This is not a big thing. We were brand new on huddle. Like, we tried to make it a thing. Yeah, no, Av R U. I huddle. Yeah. Where are we at? Whoa.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's you.

[Honest Ave]

That's me.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, zoom in on that.

[Honest Ave]

Zoom in on.

[Mark Gagnon]

On that, bro.

[Honest Ave]

Yo, that's hilarious. This kid's fat now, and he's. He's rich. And I think he's living good, too.

[Mark Gagnon]

Okay, so hold on.

[Honest Ave]

Look up. Yeah, just search. Don't even take high school home run. What's this?

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, look at you on Yahoo.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, tight. That's recent.

[Mark Gagnon]

Damn.

[Honest Ave]

No, no, the. The game that I'm talking about is I'm a freshman, and. And we're playing in this tournament, and, dude, I was on fire. Eleven threes. Boom. On my team, which you're screaming, shoot it. Shoot it. It was just going in. Just going in. I'll never forget that. Yeah, but I quit my senior year because I was a. I was a quitter, Loki. So, like, you know, that's the thing, too, is that I would get, like, mad and leave.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's like, you get emotionally be like, yo, this all you people.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, but one time, bro, my last basketball game. Game ever, I had to sit the first quarter because I was in trouble. And in the second quarter, I scored 25, and I was not passing a rock. And then at halftime, I go down to the locker room, and this kid's mouthing off. We get in a little scruffle, and I ended up putting him in a chokehold. And in, the coach rips me off, and the coach is like, you're not gonna play another second tonight. And I left and never came back.

[Mark Gagnon]

And what year was that? How old are you?

[Honest Ave]

That was 2016. I was. I was a senior. And then. And then one time, bro, there's this photo of me and my only dunk ever. It was like a crazy little white boy dunk, dunk. Like. Like, barely get over the rim and like. Yeah, and it was. I got a steel. We were up, like, 20, and I got a steal at half court right before the game or right before halftime, and I go up and I. White boy dunk it in. My coach screams at me and grabs me by my wrist in front of everybody, and he's like, we don't play like that. And like that. And takes me downstairs and screaming.

[Mark Gagnon]

That feels racist.

[Honest Ave]

Bro, I'm telling you, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right.

[Honest Ave]

I'm telling you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, we play a high IQ game. We play a smart game. Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

What the does that mean, man? Yeah, and I actually told him AI was my favorite basketball player in high school. And he goes, a. I wasn't a basketball player.

[Mark Gagnon]

What?

[Honest Ave]

I bet his favorite was John Stockton or some white dude. Is John Stockton white? Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, he likes. He.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I bet that's his favorite.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like Larry Bird.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, Larry. He's like, man, you got to be more like Larry.

[Mark Gagnon]

Steve Kerr was just a playmaker.

[Honest Ave]

No, that guy, he probably didn't even like him. Too much spice.

[Mark Gagnon]

White chocolate. That's. That's a black man from Bell. Bell, West Virginia, bro.

[Honest Ave]

You with the NBA?

[Mark Gagnon]

A little bit. I grew up going to, like, Magic games. I saw Dwight win the Eastern Conference. I wasn't at the game. I was at game five or game four. And in Orlando. That's crazy. I ran into Dwight Howard at a. At a festival.

[Honest Ave]

No way.

[Mark Gagnon]

And I was, like, shaking. I was like. All my friends were like, dwight Howard, Like. I was like, yeah, but that's Superman.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, fuck.

[Mark Gagnon]

How do y' all not have any more respect for Superman? I was like. I was going crazy, man. Do you still follow today?

[Honest Ave]

A little bit.

[Mark Gagnon]

Who's your team from? From Missouri.

[Honest Ave]

I just. We don't have a team, but I just like players, though. I've never been in the NBA. I like. I'm packers fan. Like, Die Hard. That's my right. But I like players in the NBA. I met Michael Beasley the other night.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, wow.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Super cool Bees, dude.

[Mark Gagnon]

That dude, he's a real one.

[Honest Ave]

He's a real one.

[Mark Gagnon]

I think. I think he's a good dude. He played for the Magic. I think for a little bit.

[Honest Ave]

He played for everybody. Yeah. I looked him up afterwards. I'm like, damn. They say not to look up your homies, though. Yeah, I'm kind of getting used to that. I'm going to look you up after this.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, please do.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Can we google you? Yeah. I mean, Miles. Miles, did you play sports in high school? I did play sports.

[Honest Ave]

What'd you play?

[Mark Gagnon]

Play soccer.

[Honest Ave]

Really?

[Mark Gagnon]

All the way through.

[Honest Ave]

That's like real ass. Like cardio.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, yeah. It's just running. It's just running.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's like.

[Honest Ave]

We didn't even have soccer, really. Just baseball, football, and basketball. I bet you we only had baseball, like, a couple years in high school.

[Mark Gagnon]

They had soccer at town over, though. Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

How'd you know that?

[Mark Gagnon]

When the Latinos Pull up, bro.

[Honest Ave]

Come on, man. You see that?

[Mark Gagnon]

That's. That's who I played with a little bit growing up. Like, I would go play pickup games and they would all call me, yo. David Beckham, yo.

[Honest Ave]

No. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And they would all wear. They're all, like, wearing jeans and. Yeah, it was awesome. It was. Bro, we played a game one time. We went down to Honduras when I was in high school. And when you're in. When we were in Honduras, we were down there for like, a little, like, medical mission trip type situation. So we're down there and we. They set up a game with, like, all the high school kids from my high school, and then we play all the Hondurans. Oh, bro, these boys us up.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Honduran, specifically. Bro, they are. Oh, they are brutal. Really? And they're nice. Like, they're fucking. They were like crazy finesse. And then they were just like, put an elbow and you just hard as.

[Honest Ave]

Bro, we used to drive by the soccer field and hit him with paintball games.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, you be in the back.

[Honest Ave]

Everybody in the soccer fields.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, we. We're all right, though. My. My senior year. My senior, we won a state championships.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, you're lying.

[Mark Gagnon]

Come on, bro. It. It was low. It was a low a.

[Honest Ave]

Like, we had a little school in five years, though. It was class five. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Of course.

[Honest Ave]

You was mvp.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I was the only one on the team. Yeah, there was. Everyone else got hurt, and so it was one against 11.

[Honest Ave]

That's crazy. I won. I'm about to start making up stories about my right now. You should get that age.

[Mark Gagnon]

Lying is fire, bro.

[Honest Ave]

You gotta. You gotta try it for real.

[Mark Gagnon]

Dude, that is sick as hell.

[Honest Ave]

That's crazy out of me.

[Mark Gagnon]

You thought that was it? You thought old boys pulled up? That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, Ave wanted to see. See me in. In high school. Would you mind googling Mark Gagnon. Orangewood.

[Honest Ave]

Mark Gagnon. That's your last name? Name.

[Mark Gagnon]

G. On Francais.

[Honest Ave]

How do you say it? Like, you know, say it like white. Again.

[Mark Gagnon]

Gagnon.

[Honest Ave]

I'm so sorry, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

I had to be a comedian, bro.

[Honest Ave]

You had to be, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hold on. No, no, no.

[Honest Ave]

Go back. Oh, my. Go back, go back, go back. Pull your hair down.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hit the images again. Hit the images again. Yeah, so that's. That's.

[Honest Ave]

Who's that? Is this all you? Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, hold on. Hit the next one.

[Honest Ave]

Hit the next one.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hey, if you're going to like that one.

[Honest Ave]

No shot Many men. What the we talking about, man?

[Mark Gagnon]

But hold on. Go back to.

[Honest Ave]

You look like the dude that control the fish. Wait, who's that? What's his name?

[Mark Gagnon]

Who controls fish?

[Honest Ave]

Aquaman. Yeah. That's crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yo, click on that top link, though. Click on that top link right there.

[Honest Ave]

Oh. Oh, my God, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

And yeah, you, bro. Your boy is right here in front of the science.

[Honest Ave]

This ain't high school, is it? Yeah, those are what high schoolers look like.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, we're. I'm telling you, bro, we're the.

[Honest Ave]

Is this. This looks like Cruz.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, no, that. That was the coach's kid. That was the coach's kid. Oh, that was the coach's kid.

[Honest Ave]

No way, bro. That's crazy. Wow, that's wild. He's right here.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy.

[Honest Ave]

You're the face of the team, huh? I mean, a million dollar smile.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's.

[Honest Ave]

Come on. That boy said king. That's crazy, bro. No way. With the. With the comedy. Hang on.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Pull up a. Can we see a bit?

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, we can't. I. That's the thing. I actually haven't put out that much.

[Honest Ave]

Stand up. All right. And maybe see a bit right now. Let's do one right now.

[Mark Gagnon]

I. I normally do it for money, but. But, But I'll be. Be honest. Like, I've been in my head a little bit because I. I put so much pressure on the jokes from, like, I really want to put out stuff that I think is really good. I want it to be really funny. Like, I want it to be, you know, I want everyone to see it like, oh, he's the one.

[Honest Ave]

I could tell you're not that funny.

[Mark Gagnon]

We got that out of the way, so we got that out of the way. That's fine.

[Honest Ave]

But it's like I just said, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

I've always said, bro, I put that pressure on myself.

[Honest Ave]

That's got to be the most pressure job of all time, is trying to make people laugh. Right? Like, I can't even imagine.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's like you got fucking. You got people, you know, firemen, and that's pressure. You know, I. I put them a.

[Honest Ave]

Little higher up, but true.

[Mark Gagnon]

There is a little.

[Honest Ave]

Okay, but let's put a.

[Mark Gagnon]

There's anxiety for sure.

[Honest Ave]

How about this? You go, sorry to all the firemen out there, by the way. You go with a hose to put a fire out.

[Mark Gagnon]

Okay.

[Honest Ave]

You might have a chance. Yeah, put the commute. Put the fireman on the stage with a mic and he's not making nobody. Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, it's gonna be. It's gonna be tough.

[Honest Ave]

Tough. It's Gonna be tough. Yeah, but for real, I've always thought, like, naturally when I'm on stage, like, I just like to tell jokes. Just, just.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's the thing.

[Honest Ave]

You kind of do stand up, like. Yeah, but it's just more of like, there's no pressure on it. I'm not supposed to be funny. I, like, I. If you don't think my joke's funny, then like, that's funny. Right?

[Mark Gagnon]

Comedians, like, pressure on you. Comedians will do a song and everyone's like, oh, he's actually good. I mean, yeah, you got like Sandler, but like there's a bunch of people that like do songs every now and again.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, he's. Yeah, he's good.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, I know comics that'll just sing randomly.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, for real.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like they grew up like in a church, like in like a Southern Baptist church. And in the middle bit they'll just be like, damn, did you just hit that? Everyone goes crazy.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm curious for you even, like when you first started selling out shows, like, when did you actually start? When did you start doing shows? And then when did these people start actually showing up?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, I did shows. I was like a ticket peddler for like five years. You know what that means? Like, I was the dude. Like the ticket peddlers on small shows are like the openers that are local, that have to sell all the physical tickets to get to people to come. So I was really just trapping tickets, selling tickets for like, I opened for like, you know, for like every rapper that came to Springfield and. And I was just pedaling tickets. So I would do that and I would play like sold out shows because it would be like the MGK show and it's only a 1500 room, so they're sold out. Or it would be Waka and. And Tay Money one time, shout out to her. A lot of people that I open for. Afro Man, Soldier boy. Goddamn dababy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Did you get to kick it with any of them?

[Honest Ave]

Hell no. I made myself get in those rooms to sometimes. But no, they wouldn't never let you in the room. Now you're not allowed anywhere near them. Like, no, you're a ticket peddler. So I did that for a long time. But I. This is my first tour ever. This is the first time I've ever left my hometown and went and did shows and. And they're selling. They're all pretty much almost all sold out except for like a couple of dates.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is it blowing your mind when you go on stage and you tell them like, yo, I'm going to play a song and they know which one it is and then they know the words.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, bro, it blows me away. Yeah, bro, it blows me away.

[Mark Gagnon]

It must, right? Like, that is crazy.

[Honest Ave]

Crazy as, dude. It's like, it's insane as, bro. I don't even know how to describe it. I. There's like, I wonder how, like, people like Taylor Swift feel. Like, how do you feel, man? Cuz I'm like, this is only a thousand people in front of me and this is like the craziest thing of all time. Yeah, I'm like singing a song about like, my dad drinking himself to death or some like, super perfect personal. And there's like people crying in a crowd, like, singing it. And I'm like, wait, like, what the. It's the craziest thing, bro. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it. I don't even get it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Because you're putting out online, it's getting views, you see comments, but to actually see people reacting must be a very different experience.

[Honest Ave]

So different, bro. And it's nothing like the Internet in person. It's nothing like the Internet. It's like, it's just. I don't know, bro. Yeah, it's the Internet also, like, makes it feel like almost. I always thought, like, there would be like this pressure, but like, I'm so lucky that I can be myself. That, like, in person there's no pressure. It's like I'm nervous as I'm puking before every show, but there's no pressure to be anybody but myself. Because it's like, you. You bought a ticket to come watch me be me, and I'm just gonna be me. And it's like, I don't know how to be anybody else. So I don't like, feel this pressure. But, you know, you get up there and you. And you see these. It's like I also never really idolized a person. There was never a person that I like, idolized, you know? Or like, I never even really thought about famous people like that because it was always so far out of reach. Like, you don' you don't get famous in Pierce City, Missouri. You don't play college sports. You don't get famous. You don't, you know, work in the music industry. You don't. There's things that you don't do. You don't go get office jobs, you're not an accountant. There's no accountants. There's no, like, there's you. You work at a Farm. You're a teacher, You're a nurse. Or you work at the gas station or grocery store like no one made it out. I don't know anybody.

[Mark Gagnon]

Miles, could you pull that up? Actually, the Pierce City, Missouri Wiki.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, Peer City, Missouri.

[Mark Gagnon]

Man, I'd be so curious.

[Honest Ave]

There's a band from back in the day that did like a few shows with Florida Georgia Line, a country band, but nothing even like that. Must have been the crazy look up, like, pure city. Like, how could you find, like, people that have done cool there? 2003, tornado was crazy. That my house up.

[Mark Gagnon]

Really?

[Honest Ave]

Oh, God, it did.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, a list of sundown towns. Damn.

[Honest Ave]

You know what that means?

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

When the sun go down, it's terrible.

[Honest Ave]

It's not like that anymore. But yeah, when I was growing up, there was a sign there that said, like, that. They ended up taking it down, like in the city.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, bro, A sign. Yeah. What? All right, so let's.

[Honest Ave]

What is it? Peer City, Missouri. What is it? Pages?

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, we got a ragtime composer.

[Honest Ave]

This is from, like, back in the day. Whoa. This is actually bad ass.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy.

[Honest Ave]

Wait, Sarin. Who are these people? This is a writer for the Monat Times. That don't count.

[Mark Gagnon]

An American.

[Honest Ave]

What's that?

[Mark Gagnon]

She's famous for being old.

[Honest Ave]

She's 100. Well, then that too.

[Mark Gagnon]

Jack Goodman is currently chief judge of.

[Honest Ave]

That don't count either, right?

[Mark Gagnon]

Southern District.

[Honest Ave]

I guess it kind of does.

[Mark Gagnon]

American lawyer and judge before being elected to the House of Representatives.

[Honest Ave]

All right. Boom. She's from Pierce City.

[Mark Gagnon]

The first woman to serve on the House Committee.

[Honest Ave]

She's from Pierce City. You swear to God. Wow. Wow.

[Mark Gagnon]

Army National Guard major who served as a chief of National Guard. All right. Shout out to him. That's cool. Why are they. Why are they hating on you, bro?

[Honest Ave]

100% racism right there.

[Mark Gagnon]

We. We need.

[Honest Ave]

We need. Yeah. Why the. I wasn't on that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right?

[Honest Ave]

Well, I'm not. I haven't made it out yet.

[Mark Gagnon]

No, come on.

[Honest Ave]

I haven't made it out yet, dude. I mean, like, bro, like, what's. What's success to you?

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, I like, my answer is very gay. It's very dumb.

[Honest Ave]

What is it like?

[Mark Gagnon]

It's like, can I afford to support my family? My wife. My wife, my baby?

[Honest Ave]

Just them. Not your brother and sister and family?

[Mark Gagnon]

We. We have a very different experience. Like, of course, if my siblings needed it.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, but they're cool.

[Mark Gagnon]

They're like, everyone's kind of doing their thing.

[Honest Ave]

Shout out to that.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's awesome. But, like, that's a pressure that I think a lot of people that grow up in, like, upper class or upper middle class environments don't realize.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, I only really have to look out for, like, me.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

My fam. Like my, like, wife and kid.

[Honest Ave]

Right.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then, like, if I wanted to, like, buy my. My dad a boat.

[Honest Ave]

Right. But. But just some leisure, you know what I mean?

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, I don't have to worry about, like, oh, my sister's gonna be homeless.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And, like, that's such a pressure off of me.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, that's dope.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's crazy. That's not something I have to think about that you and a lot of people in your environment probably have to think about more.

[Honest Ave]

No doubt.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

So, like, I spent more money on.

[Honest Ave]

My family than me easily, probably.

[Mark Gagnon]

You got so many people, you got, like, a lot of mouths to feed.

[Honest Ave]

But honestly, bro, like, you know, my family's like, they're cool too, though. Like, like, they're great. You know, it's not like my sister wouldn't be homeless. Like, she would have figured it out.

[Mark Gagnon]

Of course, but it's like, yo, let me just take the weight off of you.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.

[Mark Gagnon]

My family doesn't have, like, the weight as much, and of course, if they're in that situation, like, no question.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

But it just hasn't come to that.

[Honest Ave]

Thank God, you know, so just taking care of your.

[Mark Gagnon]

Taking care of the family, and then being able to have freedom type to do what I want to do. Like, I can go on the road, do some comedy dope. I can do some podcasts, hang out with cool people, interesting topics, and dive deep on that.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then be able to kind of express myself freely and then ideally make enough money from it to support my family and still live a good life.

[Honest Ave]

Boom.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's all it is.

[Honest Ave]

That sounds like success.

[Mark Gagnon]

And at this point, I'm like, I already, like, I feel like I'm kind of at that point. Like, my threshold is pretty low.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

You know what I mean? Like, I don't need the 100 mil. Like, if it happens, great. But, like, I'm not crazy stressed about it. Like, I don't buy dumb. Like, I don't buy, like, you know.

[Honest Ave]

I just bought two Harley's in one week. Hey. The thing is, like, I don't spend money anywhere except a full bar, casino, and like, every once in a while on some type of fast vehicle.

[Mark Gagnon]

Okay, so let's wind it back a little bit.

[Honest Ave]

What Harley's I have a. A classic Road King.

[Mark Gagnon]

Hell yeah.

[Honest Ave]

It's like a 2010. It's badass. It's like. It's like the real deal. Big 900 pound bike. Big dog. It's stock. I just got this. I just bought two, like. These are my first two Harleys ever. Oh, really? Yeah, I've always run motorcycles, but I'm. I've never owned a Harley. And then I was in Miami the other day, and I'm like, man, I'm not gonna lie. I hit. I hit. I won 25, 000 at the casino and I was like, I want a car here. And I don't have a driver's license still. Yeah, yeah, to this day.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean. But you know how to drive?

[Honest Ave]

Of course. Come on. Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Why don't you get a license, man?

[Honest Ave]

You know what, man? Can I get my lawyer on the phone? I don't know. There's like some going on that I gotta like, figure out. But. But I was in Miami and I bought a Harley because I was like, I need a car here. So I just got that like three days.

[Mark Gagnon]

And what's that? Hard. That's just like a.

[Honest Ave]

That is a street Glide and it's a police edition and it's all black and it's got a badass bar and like. Apes. Apes.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's fire.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, it's sick. As.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, so we're not so different, you and I. Because like, when I first kind of like started figuring out some career stuff again, I don't buy, I don't spend. Crazy, right? So I was like, what's like a cheap bike that I like? That's cool.

[Honest Ave]

You got a Honda? Yeah, buddy. I used to drive one.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, what?

[Honest Ave]

I used to ride a Honda Rebel and I also had a Suzuki Boulevard.

[Mark Gagnon]

The Boulevards are fire.

[Honest Ave]

I like, the Boulevards are like Harley's basically.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right?

[Honest Ave]

It's like an off brand Harley Hondas or not.

[Mark Gagnon]

They sound like a little bit like a vacuum cleaner. But cool though.

[Honest Ave]

I.

[Mark Gagnon]

With Honda, my favorite bike, like style ever comes from Southern California. It's old. Always like. Like Filipino dudes that chop them up.

[Honest Ave]

Harley choppers, not Harley's.

[Mark Gagnon]

But they chop up Hondas.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, for real?

[Mark Gagnon]

And so they only chop up like Asian bikes. And so, like, they make these bikes. They're beautiful.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And so like, I get these Honda shadows, so I have one that said.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, dude, it said 80. Come on, man. 88.

[Mark Gagnon]

Carbureted. Because the new ones are not. They're fuel injected. But the old ones are. And so it's 88 chopped up, lowered sick. Like little mini apes, you know?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah. Whatever those called. Those are like 12 inches or something.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, yeah, something like that. Cu. It's like, I don't want to be too uncomfortable.

[Honest Ave]

Not too high, bro. My brother rides a chopper. Yeah, he's all the way up here. I like to be about right here.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Comfy?

[Honest Ave]

That's even a little high. Yeah, this is cool.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's nice because that's actually really comfy, you know? I mean, this is like. What are you even doing?

[Honest Ave]

I'm. Dude, unfortunately, one of my bikes is like that.

[Mark Gagnon]

Well, what. Which one?

[Honest Ave]

The Street Glide.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, okay.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah. It's like, kind of.

[Mark Gagnon]

You might. You might mess with it, though.

[Honest Ave]

It's all good, right? I mean, you might.

[Mark Gagnon]

You might it up, you know, maybe add something.

[Honest Ave]

I mean, you just got it. Yeah, I just got it. I just got it. Honestly, bro, I'm terrible. Horrible, man. Like, and I think it goes back to my childhood. Like. Like, I never had. So, like, I might around. Like, I got. I bought a Siron, an electric dirt bike in Miami. And it was my. And it was, like, my personality for 24 hours. And I never wrote it again. No, it sits outside. And I keep forgetting the keys every time I come to Miami because I just. I just grew up without. And it's like, I'll have. And I'll be, like, high on it for a little bit, and then I'll just.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

I got a scat pack that sits in my backyard that I don't drive at all. Not because I have a driver's license, but. But it just sits in my backyard. It's like my dream car. I wanted it ever since I was a K. When I signed a record deal. It's my first purchase. I bought my dream car. It's got stars in the roof. I haven't drove it in, like, four months.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wow. So you're living in Miami now?

[Honest Ave]

No, I live in Missouri, but, like, I stay in Miami a lot. I'm about to move to Miami, though, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

Why Miami?

[Honest Ave]

That's just where, like, all my people are at. And, like, there's a cool studio that I like my. My people with. Like, it's just cool down there. Honestly, bro, it's like I'm trying to figure out if it's right for me.

[Mark Gagnon]

Still, because it's very different than.

[Honest Ave]

And I a degenerate. And I like to drink alcohol and throw money at slot machines. Yeah, and there's, like, a lot of that there.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wait, that's your game, slots? Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Really? Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

More than like, baccarat.

[Honest Ave]

I hate playing table games because where I'm from, the casino, where I'm from, it's like, well, first of all, you go out there. No, you just. It's just like personal. As if I would have grown up going to the Hard Rock and in Miami. Then it's like, yeah, you like playing this game. And it's like a bunch of strangers or whatever. But, like, where I'm from, it's like, it's just personal. Everybody there. There's a casino not far from us, and it's like, you know everybody in there.

[Mark Gagnon]

Wow.

[Honest Ave]

Like, you go there and three, three, four, five times you get to know everybody. And then it's like, personal. I just never with sitting down because.

[Mark Gagnon]

You'Re making money with me, but you're taking.

[Honest Ave]

And we also used to go to the casino to clean our weed money. So you can go to the casino with $10,000 and 20s and go straight up to the cashier and be like, I. I need these in all hundreds. And then. And then they give you all the hundreds and they give you a receipt. And it's like, then you can go and be like, whenever the cop pulls you over and he's like, why do you have $10,000 cash on you? You're like, well, you show them this receipt. You're like, I wanted at the casino. Yeah, like, oh, okay. Wow. So we would do that too.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, bro. I mean, I've never thought about a small town casino. You're taking money from your neighbor.

[Honest Ave]

Well, it's an hour and a half away.

[Mark Gagnon]

But still, you know, all the people you pull up and they're like, oh, this motherfucker's here.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. And they also know you're dealer even. I'm like, oh, I played Xbox with the dealer two nights ago.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

Like at the house.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then they also know you're walking out with like 10 racks. Who knows?

[Honest Ave]

They know that you was in there five times this week and lost every time.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. They come and run your pockets like.

[Honest Ave]

Or they'll be like. Or now everybody knows that you go to the casino too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of one of those. But. But yeah, in Miami, it's like so unpersonal.

[Mark Gagnon]

So how are you going to keep it put together? Right? Like, you come from an insane environment, with all due respect. You know what I mean? Like perhaps a tumultuous childhood, we could say. And. And so, like, you never really necessarily saw that structure financially.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, dude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck to do.

[Mark Gagnon]

And now you're walking to some money like you have someone looking after it. Like, you have, like. Like you have a system.

[Honest Ave]

I'm blessed with this dude right behind me, and I got a cool business manager, man. Honestly, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't know what the to do. He's like. He's like a. I don't want to say he's like a father figure, but he's like. That's like my uncle, dude. It's like my. My.

[Mark Gagnon]

Has he had to slow you down?

[Honest Ave]

Oh, man. I mean, dude, he's like. He's. That's like the only parents I've ever known in my life is that guy sitting behind me. You know what I'm saying?

[Mark Gagnon]

When did you meet one?

[Honest Ave]

Last year. He flew. He flew straight from. He come to my house. Like, I'm living with roaches in my house. And, like, I'm moving in a. It's not a terrible crib. It's my favorite. It's my best one at the time. Like, I thought it was nice, but. Yeah, this coming. He got Monclair bracelets on. This dude just got bread.

[Mark Gagnon]

What's the dumbest thing he tried to buy that you were like, later. Put it. Do it later.

[Honest Ave]

There's been all types of shotgun, maybe even. I pulled up on him just the other day with the Harley, and he said, God damn it, kid. He said what? The kid Harley in one week or.

[Mark Gagnon]

In a month in Miami was an awful life. Yeah. That's too much. Yeah. Yeah. Bro doesn't have a license. 1. What are we going to do, dude?

[Honest Ave]

You talking my pops back here? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. N. Just even more so. Just the struggles of, like, being, like, the. The finally the only person in my family with money. And, like, that's been more of a struggle than anything. Yeah. Like, I have, like, a shitty spinning habit. You know, sometimes I. I haven't wasted all my money or nothing like that. I go to the casino too much, for sure.

[Mark Gagnon]

You're also. You're also not. Not dumb.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. And I'm not. I'm. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, I know you say I'm a degenerate. Like, of course we all like to party. But you're not dumb.

[Honest Ave]

No, no, no.

[Mark Gagnon]

And you're not gonna do something truly dumb in my opinion.

[Honest Ave]

Right? That. That me? Yeah. I wouldn't. I would never would. But I think the advice that I got from, like, Juan and is more in, like, hey, man, you can't Save everybody, you know? Hey, man. Yeah. I know you really want to buy your mom a house right now, but guess what? If you just keep building, in three years, you'll be able to do that money.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's in portfolio.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, we got to do this with the money and blah, blah. I mean, dude, this guy. I'm in Vegas. It's. It's 1am and we're, like, talking about, like. And I don't like talking about money, bro. It makes me uncomfortable. Like, I don't even, like, even thinking about it. I definitely don't like talking to him about it because he's, like, a responsible person. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And.

[Honest Ave]

And we're, like, having an uncomfortable conversation, and I got bad credit and all that. And this is like, what's your address? He's like, hand me your ID. I hand him my ID in like, 15 minutes. Minutes later, he's like. He's like, all right, I enrolled you for a amex credit card. Like, and he, like, helped me out to, like, facilitate that. And he's like, this is what you do with that. This is how you handle your money. This is going to build you in this. And if you spend this and, you know, make sure you keep paying it off and do this. And, like, he's the first person to ever teach me, like, financial, like, literacy.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right.

[Honest Ave]

You know, and it might happen at 2am after a show in Vegas at the hotel, you know, while we're just, like, getting. Having downtime and, like, hanging out. So that's the first real, like, you know, I mean, even he knows. I mean, he. Juan gets the worst of it because he's my man manager. And, like, you know, I'm a emotional dude, and. And he gets the worst of it. Like, if I'm being emotional, he'll. He'll hear it. But it's the first time that I've ever had, like, a adult that's like, hey, like, I did this. Like, I've been where you're at, kid. Like, I've seen that before. I've been there before. I came from nothing. I did this, I did that, and look like. And he's got a beautiful family and like that. And, you know, his money's right and all these things. And he's got all. All these relationships that, like, you know, elevate him, like, as a person and like, that. And it's the first time that I've ever had, like, an adult like that in my life, you know, I've never had an adult adult that ever. If there was an adult that was like financially literate around me. They were like shunning us because we were like broke and my parents are drug addicts, so they didn't want to with us. Like, I, I never one time have ever heard, you know, I didn't know that you could put money in a investment account and let it grow, like, interest. And I never knew like, that. I never grew up doing that. My parents never do. You make $20,000 a year, bro. You are buying food with that and rent only. You're not talking about what can I put in an investment? Yeah, of course.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, you stay. Do you have animosity towards rich people?

[Honest Ave]

I'm losing it now. These, you know, these are, I'm like, yeah. Whenever I first, like, yeah, bad. Bad. Like bad.

[Mark Gagnon]

Because. Did rich people judge you?

[Honest Ave]

Like, yeah. But I don't know rich people though either. Like, if I go to Peer City right now, I got the most money out of any. Like, like, there's not. There might be a millionaire. Maybe a millionaire.

[Mark Gagnon]

Maybe some old dude. Probably not some old dude from a factory.

[Honest Ave]

I don't know real rich people. Like, I, I, I give Juan shit all the time. He says he's not rich rich. And I'm like, you're the richest person I've ever seen. Like, what are you talking about, bro? Like, what the, you know, so I've never seen real rich.

[Mark Gagnon]

But now you're in Miami, you're around it.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, man. Hey, these, these dudes, bro. First time I ever met the dude that owns one of the labels that I'm signed to this man. We went to a horse race and he pulls out 50k from the bank. He said, we're gonna throw this on horses today. And I'm thinking to myself, like, I mean, I've seen 50k because of the weed and like that, but, but I've never, like, seen 50k and all hundreds in cash pulled out of the bank in a Ziploc baggy, legal money crispy, about to go gamble it all tonight. Yeah. Type, you know, I've seen 50K and I've thought, yo, I'm eating for a year off of this and everybody around me is getting a car. And like, we all, you know, we're all going to get a 98 Civic tonight. Like, I thought that, but yeah, that's real money, bro. It's, it's like a, it's kind of like a scam scary thing, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

What does your mom said now that you got success or this version of success? Because I want to ask you about Success later. But what does your mom say?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, she texted me today and she said, hey, bub, go show them who you are. You deserve this. I don't know, she just says like, that I got my mom a crib. Like, I didn't buy it, but I rent her a crib. And like, it's the first time she's ever lived in a house that's not as big as this room. Yeah, she's always been in a tiny house that like, she used to make her couch out of milk crates and, and blankets. So she would like build a couch out of milk crates and like super glue them together, hot glue them together, and then she put mad blankets on it and it would look like a couch and like that's how she's always lived. Like that bed, you drag the bed out from the closet at night and put it in the living room and you make a palette and that's where you sleep at a night. She studios like she had never lived anything. So she's mad grateful. She also watches my dog all the time now. So, like, it's kind of a partnership. Yeah, but.

[Mark Gagnon]

And then when overdose dropped, like, your dad saw that, right?

[Honest Ave]

No.

[Mark Gagnon]

Your dad never saw it?

[Honest Ave]

No, bro, I remember I was making TikTok money. I was making ten bands a month. I had given up the weed. I was making ten legal thousand dollars a month on TikTok. I remember the shelled my dad a week before he died. And one of the last conversations I had with him, I was like, I'm going to be rich, dad. Like, if you can just hang on, like, don't, don't kill yourself. Because he was talking about killing himself. I'm like, don't, don't kill yourself. If you can just hang on, like, I promise you I'm going to be rich. I'm going to get you out. He was living in a shitty section 8 apartment at the time. I was like, I'm going to get rich, dad, and I'm going to move you out of here and. And you're going to get like your own spot and it's going to be great. And I remember him grabbing on my shoulder and being like, even if you get it, that's your money. That's not my money. And he was like, this is what, what I'm doing. And talking about like, he's gonna drink himself and smoke himself to death. And yeah, boom. And then he did so. And then I didn't make overdose until my dad died. It was. It must have been like two months later. Or three months later, until I dropped Overdose.

[Mark Gagnon]

And did that influence the musical change.

[Honest Ave]

I already had Change, kind of. I was already kind of making music like that. Thankfully, that. Luckily before that, like, when I started getting paid on TikTok, music became, oh, I just love this. I don't even care. You don't have to listen to it no more. I wasn't even promoting it on my page. I might promote it in a funny skit. So sometimes, like, you know, like, there was people that would, you know, they thought that, like, that was my thing, was promoting my music, but, like, nah, I just didn't really with it until Overdose, really, Until, like, that song, like, started going viral, and it was kind of like, I didn't even want, like, that song. I never really. I. I never promoted that song. That was just, like, straight. I'm like, what the. I'm posting about being like, what the. I can't believe you guys are with this. And everybody just carried that song, you know, And I tried not to milk it, and I, I didn't want to make that whole personality, you know, and, like, that. But it. That song just, like, carried itself. And I still struggle with promoting my music because, like, there's nothing worse than, like, there's just. There's nothing where, like, I'm a real artist and, and, like, you'll never be able to take that away from me. They'll never be able to take that away from me. Nobody on the Internet will. No phone screen will. No Instagram page. There's no. Nobody will ever be able to take that away from me. I'm a real artist. I love my music. I, I love writing. I, I, I write music and I physically have reactions. I, I'll be shaking or I'll be. Or I'll be crying or I'll be having chills. Like, I have a physical reaction. That's because I love music so much. So nobody can ever take that from me. And it's a struggle to be, like, trying to be, like, like, take me serious. Like, please, please, please listen to this song. Please listen to it, bro. Like, come on. Like, come on. Look, people are starting to listen to it. You should listen to it, too. Oh, look, come on, my song's cool. Come on. I hate going to a. I hate hearing a song I like and then going to their page and realizing, oh, you're not even a real artist. You're just a guy that's trying to promote this song that I related to kind of, right? And now all of a sudden, whenever I hear the Song. I'm like that song because I, I related to it what I thought you were, but you're not. That you're a dude that's, like, trying to get famous, and you're a dude that's, like, trying to. And I never want to be that. So I still struggle with, like, promoting my own music to this day, you know, because I, I, I believe in myself more than just, like, trying to make the Internet believe in it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

But it's so crucial. Crucial to, like, the game. Be this guy that is, you know, on the Internet doing these things. So I try to find a balance, but I don't think I've really, like, got. I'm not totally there, you know?

[Mark Gagnon]

So what does success look like to me?

[Honest Ave]

Success, bro? I, I would say, like, if I'm sitting and I'm successful, my sister has a house. My mom has a house. My mom is, like, gonna, like, yeah, like, I want my mom to die, like, in her house that she owns, not, like, in some rental or, like, some spot. And then. And then my nephews are in college, and they all got vehicles that they can drive. And yeah, bro, that's. That would be successful to me. So. But that means that, you know, $10 million is not, like, the goal. Like, it's like, it's like property and, like, like, the peace of mind. The best thing about having money right now, and I'm not, like, some rich dude, trust me, I'm not, like, some super rich guy. But, you know, the best thing about having a little bit of money is, like, being able to eat whenever you want. I can eat anything. I. Whenever I want. I grew up not doing that. I grew up not being. I never ate out. Like, I never was able to eat out. I only got to eat out if my homies, mom's friends, gave them extra money for me.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, McDonald's money.

[Honest Ave]

Like, and I never got that. And there was not even restaurants like that. So that's the best part about being like that. If my, I'm successful, if my nephews can grow up and be, like, 16 years old and be like, hey, like, I'm gonna take my friends to go get dinner tonight, and. And they can do like that, you know?

[Mark Gagnon]

Have you had good sushi yet?

[Honest Ave]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

When was the first time you had good sushi, dude?

[Honest Ave]

Low key, actually. Whenever I was in high school, I was dating this girl, and there's a sushi spot in Springfield which is like, an hour away from where I grew up, and it's still my favorite Sushi to this day. We went in high school. She showed it to me.

[Mark Gagnon]

Springfield. Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

It's a good sushi spot. Promise.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm gonna be honest, I'm a little skeptical.

[Honest Ave]

No, it's fire, bro. But it's cream cheese sushi though. And come on, what do you think about talking about like raw salmon?

[Mark Gagnon]

You went to like.

[Honest Ave]

It's cool.

[Mark Gagnon]

Raw salmon? Yeah. That's sushi you've had.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think of the spot in LA I went to. I went to this famous spot in la.

[Mark Gagnon]

Nobu.

[Honest Ave]

I've been to Nobu. But that's. It was cool.

[Mark Gagnon]

It didn't blow your mind.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. You know what, bro? I'm also kind of a.

[Mark Gagnon]

You got a pure city, dude.

[Honest Ave]

These guys are rich though, bro. Like, the first time I hung out with Juan and them in, in Miami, we were eating that Mr. Chow.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

You ever had that? Yeah. That's my favorite spot. About to eat now. So like, I'm low key, kind of like a diva ass. And like Nobu was like kind of annoying. Lowkey. The service sucked. But that's just like me, you know, that's me saying it from a spot of like, you know, Mr. Chow, before I sit down, they pull the seat out. Yeah. So Nobu, I ate it in Malibu and it was like, I didn't love it and I, I guess I didn't get the right, though. Everybody says I didn't get the right stuff. But it was cool though. Those. That's why I like, I like to do that. That's my favorite thing to do is get dressed up with the homies and, and, and. And go eat somewhere super nice. That's like my favorite, favorite thing to do.

[Mark Gagnon]

And how about like partying and stuff? Like, are you like, how do you manage that on the road? Because the tour schedule is intense.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, bro, we. We don't get down like that, bro. We, we, we. We just work, man. It's kind of cool. Like, I'm super humbled every time. You can turn it off.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, can't like, can't like some people.

[Honest Ave]

Mad hoes. No, man, I'm humbled when I get on the bus, cuz I'm with my boys from back in the day and I'm not really on the bus. And like, and, and a lot of the time, like these guys, you know, they're not in the music industry. Like they want to go to bed. And we, we do hang out and drink sometimes. But like, really, bro, I'm not living like that. I'M not living that like, crazy tour party life. If I.

[Mark Gagnon]

Because a lot of dudes in your situation would.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, like, I want to be successful, though, bro. I want to be an actual rock star. I want to do a headlining tour of stadiums. And then you're gonna have to wear it. Once I'm on a headlining tour of.

[Mark Gagnon]

Stadiums, then I'll call you.

[Honest Ave]

All right, Then call me back and be like, hey, does Abe got a therapist and what's going on? Because then I'm gonna be. Be throwing TVs out the window, but right now I can't it up.

[Mark Gagnon]

Right?

[Honest Ave]

I mean, like, I have this story where after the show one time we were like, kind of buzzing and we were hanging out in the bus behind the venue, and I ran back into the venue and stole this like 5 foot or like 4 foot lava lamp that they let us use. I stole that from them and I took it all the way home, and we used it at like, some other shows, and it was like. That was like some. Some fun rock star.

[Mark Gagnon]

That's as close you'll get.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. But then they called us and they were like, just bring it back. No, Juan calls me. He's like, hey, did you guys steal? I'm like, yeah, we might have accidentally.

[Mark Gagnon]

I already know he was pissed. I already know he was.

[Honest Ave]

You know, the cool thing about Juan, though, is he. He's on my head about, you know, certain things sometimes. But he lets me live, though. You know, I told him I was like, y' all teenager right now.

[Mark Gagnon]

He can deal with another teenager.

[Honest Ave]

You know what I mean? Oh, I'm sure cake. I'm sure Cruz is cake. He probably go home and he probably tell Cruz, you are such a good kid. He's probably like, get into coding.

[Mark Gagnon]

Cruz.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Like, thank you so much for coming home on time. Yeah. 14 year old or however old is he? 14? Yeah. Yeah, when I was 14. Yeah. My brother died at 15. Ain't that some cruise is a baby. That was that age, bro. Crazy to think about that, man. Cuz.

[Mark Gagnon]

Cuz.

[Honest Ave]

You see, like, when I was a kid, 15 years old is like, even my homies, like, 15 years old was like, kind of older. You're starting to. Some of my friends work. You got. You're starting out to get a job, you know, you're on the farm at least, and. And like, you're you. You ever had. You ever heard of a farmer's license?

[Mark Gagnon]

No.

[Honest Ave]

When you're 14 years old in Kansas City or in Kansas and Missouri, you can get a license to drive. On the farm.

[Mark Gagnon]

Only on the farm.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Yeah. So like, my hom have that they'd be 13, 14 years old, driving trucks to school. And, and, and, and so like, 15 was kind of like. I didn't feel like I was a kid at the time, but looking back, I'm like, damn.

[Mark Gagnon]

How could that.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, you see like a baby.

[Mark Gagnon]

You talk to a 14 year old now you're like, bro, this is crazy.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, Skippity toilet like that. Yeah, bro, what the. Dude, it's crazy.

[Mark Gagnon]

That is insane.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. So insane, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm excited for you, bro.

[Honest Ave]

Dude, thank you, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

This has been really, really cool, like, learning your story, man. I'm like, just really impressed.

[Honest Ave]

Great at this, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

Oh, thank you.

[Honest Ave]

You're amazing. I appreciate it. Seriously. You are. Thank you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, I. I really enjoyed it. Like, I'm genuinely curious in your journey and where you've been and kind of where you're gonna go. Like, I don't. I don't know, man. You remind me of, of a lot of people that I've met, you know, like, not only from like back home, but even folks I know that are killing it right now, selling out tour, stadiums, all that stuff. Like, Like, I. I don't know, I feel like there's a connective tissue between, between you and some of these guys.

[Honest Ave]

Thank you, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's. It's really cool. I need to. I just need to know a couple more things though.

[Honest Ave]

Let's do it.

[Mark Gagnon]

Honest A. Like, I'm sure this is on the Internet somewhere, but just like, real quick, where is that from?

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, I'm in. I'm at a house party. I'm 15, I'm in the basement. These two cool kids from the town over, they're making rap songs and they're like, we need another verse. We need another verse. My friends run outside. They know that me and my homie freestyle. They're like, come in like, they need a verse. Come freestyle one. We go down there. They're like, you need a rap name. First 20 minutes go by, they're asking me personal questions. They say, say, who's your favorite president? And I don't know why they said that. And I don't know why I said Abraham Lincoln. And they were like, oh, all right. Cool, cool, cool. They're like, honest Abe. That's what's up. And then they were like, Honest Ave. And I was like, no way, that is so sick. And then we did it. We ran with it. Honest A. I've been called Honest Dave ever since. And then my homie we came up with his name, too. His name is Breezy. Whoa. We call him Breeze Never stopped.

[Mark Gagnon]

Is he. Is he one of the guys that's with you?

[Honest Ave]

Nah. No, he's got two kids. He's like. He's killing it. He's, like, supporting a wife and kids. He can't be on the road. He would if he could.

[Mark Gagnon]

But that's my. Probably my favorite song of yours.

[Honest Ave]

Which one?

[Mark Gagnon]

You gotta forgive me because I forget the name, but it's the. Yeah. Growing Pains, the track you put out recently.

[Honest Ave]

That's what's up.

[Mark Gagnon]

Because, like, I don't know, I even feel that on a personal basis, like, yo, I'm on the road. I'm following my dream. My friends are back home, they got kids, but for some reason, they're more happy than I am.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, gave me goosebumps.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, I feel that where it's like, I don't know.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I'm up here, like, grinding my ass. I was like, I'm killing myself every day, working, working. Like, I'm flying to Charleston tomorrow, 7am to go to shows. I'm going to Atlanta after that. Like, I'm like, yeah. In the grind because I'm trying to still come up, right? But I look at my friends, like, I'll call my buddies I went to high school with.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm walking the dog by the lake.

[Honest Ave]

Right, right, right. Got my feet kicked up with my boy that laughing in front of me, telling me I'm a great father. Yeah. Yeah. And my girl just kissed me on the cheek and brought me a hot meal.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

I'm like, damn.

[Mark Gagnon]

And I'm like, how are you making money? Like, I sell insurance.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Yeah. Or whatever.

[Mark Gagnon]

You know, I have a good job.

[Honest Ave]

But you know what, bro? You know what they think? I'm sure your friend is thinking, you know, he's having a little argument with his wife, and he's thinking, damn. Like, bro's on the road right now. Dream. You know, doing comedy shows and making people laughing like, it's never gonna be good enough, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

It's true.

[Honest Ave]

It also sucks.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, it all sucks. You know, life's shit, wall to wall, then you die. But it is that, that song, though, just, like, it resonated with me. I was like, oh, wow. I definitely feel that.

[Honest Ave]

Like, thank you, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

I can't really connect with, like, you know, a lot of the, you know, other traumatic things you've gone through. But that song specifically, like, I just.

[Honest Ave]

Felt Like, I just, like, ooze, like, anywhere I go, it's always like this. I can't wait to get to the point in my career where it's like, everybody just knows.

[Mark Gagnon]

But that's why you're funny.

[Honest Ave]

Thanks.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah, it is, like, 100% that you cope with it. Like, I feel the same way. Like, yeah, I haven't been through nearly the same shit, but, like, bro, it's.

[Honest Ave]

All the same, though, man. There's never, like, dude, the thing about that motherfuckers don't get is that, like, the shit that I went through was crazy for me, but, like, there was something that happened in your life that was crazy for you, and that's the same crazy. Like, I never, like, whenever I was a kid, I fucking hated rich people. I hated anybody that had bread. If you were a kid that had good parents, I did. Not with you.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

If you. Like, I was telling Juan, I never went out to eat, like, solo with my parents. I never had, like, one on ones with my parents. You know, maybe I had one or two. And it was a. It was a coupon I got for my birthday. My parents just made me coupons. It would be dinner with dad. It would be movie with mom.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

And. And, like, I would use a coupon. Hey, dad. And he. Sometimes he would say, no, like, dead ass. And so that's how I'd hang on with my parents. Hey, my dad, I got this coupon. Let's go watch a movie. Like. And sometimes he'd be like, no, I'm not feeling it. And I'm like, you. I've had this for a year.

[Mark Gagnon]

Check bounced. Yeah.

[Honest Ave]

So I. So I hated him. But I'm going. I'm growing in to realize, like, everybody's shitty is the same shitty.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, there's a. There's a saying. This guy, Victor Frankel, he's a psychologist that wrote this book, Man's Search for Meaning. In the book, he has this. This line where he says, suffering is like a gas. Like, it consumes the space that it's in.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

So what? They're like, whatever different type of suffering you have. Like, it just fills up that space.

[Honest Ave]

Same space.

[Mark Gagnon]

And so whether, you know, like, you went through what you went through, or, you know, you're a kid in a war zone somewhere, which is.

[Honest Ave]

Which is worse. That's exactly.

[Mark Gagnon]

Or like, you're someone that got, you know, like, you know, like, your. Your sister died and, you know, it was like a car accident, but you had, like, a good family.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

Yeah. Like, that's all suffering, and it all fills you up in the same way. And obviously it exists on a spectrum and people process it differently. But, like, that pain people feel is. Is a pretty universal feeling. And I think, you know, a lot of your music really taps into that. To that pain that I think is really cathartic for people to listen to.

[Honest Ave]

Thank you, bro. Maybe one day I'm going to make a. So Makes people feel good. Yeah. Like one time. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

What about, like, a Pharrell? We need, like, a happy.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, yeah. Come on, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

Never that, though, honestly. You know who does a good job with that? Dom Fike.

[Honest Ave]

Dominic Fight.

[Mark Gagnon]

Dom F. Will do a Miami boy.

[Honest Ave]

Oh, you know Dom.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, I met him, call him Dom.

[Honest Ave]

Sounds pretty. Yeah. You know. You know who?

[Mark Gagnon]

I don't know My boy D. I don't know. I met him a couple times. I. Friends that know him, but he does a good job of making, like, real music. Talk about his crazy experience, but it's kind of fun.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

You know what I mean? So. I don't know. I just think. I think there's a way, and I think you're gonna hack it because. Because eventually you're gonna be making. Doing these shows that are huge, and you're like, I need to open with something poppy.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

I mean, then we'll get to some of the other shit. But, like, I think you're gonna figure out how to curate the show now that you're going through it.

[Honest Ave]

You know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. On the way for that.

[Mark Gagnon]

But if this has been awesome, brother.

[Honest Ave]

Dude, been real as fuck, thank you.

[Mark Gagnon]

So much for joining me.

[Honest Ave]

I appreciate it.

[Mark Gagnon]

When you're back in New York and you're doing. You're. You're doing some big theater, I would love. I would love to have you back.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah.

[Mark Gagnon]

And eventually, when you're at msg, man, give me some tickets.

[Honest Ave]

Hey, same with you, though, bro. This pod. What's up?

[Mark Gagnon]

This is.

[Honest Ave]

This is like the foundation. We're cooking for something huge.

[Mark Gagnon]

We're on our way.

[Honest Ave]

We're on our way, man.

[Mark Gagnon]

We'll get there.

[Honest Ave]

Yeah. You're gonna be great, bro.

[Mark Gagnon]

Let's look back on this in a few years.

[Honest Ave]

Thank you so much. Word. Appreciate you, my man.

[Mark Gagnon]

If you've made it to the end of this episode, that's because you rock with us. And for that, we rock with you. You are sophisticated. You enjoy honest, true communication. A highbrow type of person that understands history is not just dates and names. It is a tapestry of human triumph and tragedy from the day Nostradamus made his first prophecy to the morning Paul Revere took his midnight ride from ancient oracles to modern revolutionaries. That is why I need you. If you have not already, please sign up for Today in History. Our free newsletter, Today in History brings you the stories that matter, the moments that changed everything, and the secret secrets hidden in time. Join thousands of history enthusiasts who get their daily journey through time. Don't let another day of history pass you by. Take the conversation to your inbox. Sign up now through the QR code or link in the description Today in History because history stories shape tomorrow's world. Thank you for watching the episode and we'll see you next time.