Episode 28: Cooking Pork Chops from Pei Mei with Taylor Takahashi and the Unbearable Weight of PANTYGATE

Summary

Podcast Summary: Canal Street Dreams – Episode 28: "Cooking Pork Chops from Pei Mei with Taylor Takahashi and the Unbearable Weight of PANTYGATE"

Release Date: October 11, 2023
Hosts: Eddie Huang and Natashia Perrotti
Guests: Taylor Takahashi and Chanel (Natashia's partner)

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Introduction to the Episode

In Episode 28 of Canal Street Dreams, hosts Eddie Huang and Natashia Perrotti welcome guest Taylor Takahashi to discuss not only their culinary adventures but also delve into personal anecdotes and humorous mishaps, including a dramatic episode they refer to as "PANTYGATE." The episode seamlessly intertwines discussions about cooking from Faime's Chinese Cookbook Volume 2 with personal stories, offering listeners an engaging blend of food, friendship, and family dynamics.

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Cooking Segment: Pork Chops from Pei Mei

[00:02 – 02:27]
Eddie introduces the cooking segment, setting the stage for preparing Jingdu Paigu, a classic Cantonese Hong Kong sweet and sour fried pork dish. He humorously compares Faime's Chinese Cookbook Volume 2 to Lil Wayne's "Carter 2," highlighting its authenticity and comprehensive coverage of traditional Chinese dishes.

Notable Quotes:

• Eddie Huang ([00:02]): "We will be cooking this week from Faime's Chinese Cookbook Volume 2. This is in Chinese cuisine. Basically the cookbook equivalent of, like, Lil Wayne Carter 2."
• Taylor Takahashi ([03:37]): "I think schmaltz is good for anything. Like, you want to just add, like, plus two to, like, plus two gp, you know, like. Jesus Christ."

Cooking Insights:

• The use of chicken schmaltz for high-heat frying instead of traditional oils.
• Simplification of the marinade by using only rice wine and soy sauce, contrasting with the cookbook's additional ingredients like baking powder and meat tenderizer.
• Emphasis on the importance of tenderizing the pork chop properly, with Eddie praising the butcher’s technique: "Look at the tenderization of this pork chop" ([11:09]).

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Personal Anecdotes and Relationship Dynamics

[02:27 – 05:14]
The conversation shifts to Eddie and Chanel’s experiences as parents and partners. Chanel shares humorous insights into their daily life, including Chanel’s contributions to household tasks and the dynamics of their relationship post-parenthood.

Notable Quotes:

• Chanel ([05:09]): "I give lists. Like, I'm like, I'll give you a PowerPoint presentation of what I want with photos and links."
• Eddie Huang ([05:51]): "How do you say no to that approach?"

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PANTYGATE: The Underwear Mystery

[46:10 – 59:51]
The episode takes a dramatic and humorous turn with "PANTYGATE," a situation where Chanel discovers a pair of unfamiliar underwear in the house, leading to an outrageous accusation of infidelity against Eddie. The segment is filled with playful banter, exaggerated reactions, and comedic tension as they navigate the absurdity of the situation.

Notable Quotes:

• Chanel ([47:18]): "You can't be bringing, like, your underwear."
• Eddie Huang ([49:08]): "So everybody just comment. He didn't do it. He didn't do it."
• Chanel ([51:08]): "I was like, you've got to go home. I was like, you're making it worse."

Highlights:

• The discovery of the underwear leads to a mock "investigation," complete with exaggerated suspicion and humorous dialogue.
• Discussions about trust, loyalty, and the comedic portrayal of relationship drama.
• The playful denial from Eddie and the escalating comedic tension as Chanel confronts him.

---

Culinary Memories and Events

[10:13 – 43:44]
Eddie and Taylor reminisce about past cooking events they've hosted, sharing memorable experiences and the challenges of organizing pop-up restaurants. They discuss various dishes they've prepared, including Szechuan lemon pepper wings, lion's head meatballs, and beef noodle soup, highlighting their passion for authentic Chinese cuisine and the camaraderie in the kitchen.

Notable Quotes:

• Eddie Huang ([12:16]): "It's like, I think, very much like basketball. You see how people are in the kitchen because there's a lot of pressure."
• Taylor Takahashi ([43:35]): "This luxury business."

Key Points:

• Pop-Up Challenges: The difficulty of executing pop-up events due to the short preparation time and reliance on a team.
• Favorite Dishes: Eddie fondly mentions the Szechuan lemon pepper wings as his favorite dish they've created.
• Culinary Techniques: Discussion on techniques like tenderizing pork chops and making sauces from scratch.

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Cooking Tips and Techniques

[38:16 – 39:21]
The hosts and guests share practical cooking tips while preparing the pork chops. They emphasize the importance of using quality ingredients and proper techniques to enhance the flavors of the dish.

Notable Quotes:

• Eddie Huang ([38:16]): "So tell me Pei May's recipe. All right, I'm doing this right now. I'm adding the A1 Worcestershire, agave. What else is in there for the sauce part?"
• Taylor Takahashi ([38:31]): "It's gonna go crazy."

Tips Discussed:

• Marinade Simplification: Using basic ingredients like Worcestershire sauce, ketchup, sugar, and water to create a flavorful marinade without complicating it.
• Avoiding Excess Water: Eddie emphasizes not adding unnecessary water to maintain the dish's integrity: "Like I said, I don't like adding water to recipes."

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Closing Remarks and Continuation of Culinary Enthusiasm

[59:51 – End]
The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on their cooking experiences, reaffirming their passion for Chinese cuisine, and hinting at future culinary adventures. Despite the humorous drama of PANTYGATE, the focus remains on their love for cooking and the joy it brings to their community.

Notable Quotes:

• Chanel ([60:25]): "I'm happy to play dumb. It's fine. We'll play. I can act."
• Eddie Huang ([60:35]): "This was a transition. This was a transition."

Final Thoughts:

• The hosts maintain a light-hearted tone, balancing the humorous and dramatic moments with their ongoing commitment to culinary excellence.
• They encourage listeners to subscribe and engage with their content, highlighting the interactive nature of their podcast community.

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Conclusion

Episode 28 of Canal Street Dreams offers a delightful mix of culinary wisdom, personal stories, and comedic relief. Eddie Huang and Natashia Perrotti, along with their guests Taylor Takahashi and Chanel, create an engaging narrative that not only showcases their passion for authentic Chinese cooking but also provides listeners with relatable and entertaining glimpses into their personal lives. From mastering traditional recipes to navigating the humorous pitfalls of domestic life, this episode encapsulates the essence of turning dreams into reality through creativity, community, and a dash of humor.

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Join the Conversation:
For the full, in-depth version of this episode, subscribers can access it on Substack. The free half-hour version is available weekly on YouTube.

Transcript

[Eddie Huang]

All right. Welcome back to separate bedrooms. Wifey is back this week in babyland. She's over there. We got Tay on the show over here. What up, my guy, Taylor Takahashi. We will be cooking this week from Faime's Chinese Cookbook Volume 2. This is in Chinese cuisine. Basically the cookbook equivalent of, like, Lil Wayne Carter 2.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, the original.

[Eddie Huang]

This is the banger. That's the banger. This is the banger. This is the Carter 2.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Hello. This is who I am.

[Eddie Huang]

Yes. Got it. Have you read this book before?

[Taylor Takahashi]

No. I want to.

[Eddie Huang]

Okay, I'm gonna put this on the table for you. I'm gonna tell you what this is. This is the first lady, first person ever to do an English language Chinese cookbook, translated every classic, like, Chinese dish you would eat in a banquet restaurant, they got up in here.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Got it.

[Eddie Huang]

All right. So, like, you read her books. You can make a better restaurant than most of these hipsters is making Chinese food.

[Taylor Takahashi]

So this is, like, real, like, the real deal. Like, old school, classic, classic shit.

[Eddie Huang]

Classic like this. Today on the show, we will be making the kids table special. You go to any wedding, karaoke, funeral, whatnot, the kids table is gonna get this dish. The best part, Jingdu paigu, all right, Is basically like a Cantonese Hong Kong sweet and sour fried pork.

[Chanel]

Babe, you should turn the music off.

[Eddie Huang]

Oh, my God. I should turn the music off.

[Chanel]

It is not licensed.

[Taylor Takahashi]

No jam.

[Chanel]

I was like, we're having fun, but that is gonna cost some money that, like, we don't.

[Eddie Huang]

James is gonna be pissed. But, James, I just. Let's tell the system. You are in my system. We're so sorry. We did not mean to.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chanel]

Just please, Whatever you want.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. Don't make me do this again.

[Taylor Takahashi]

We'll make you ribs augur. Or you pick something from the payway.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. Just in case. All right. We got bodied. Yo. This is basically the Carter 2 Chinese cookbook. All right? That's all you need to know. All right? Six foot seven, five foot one. Fire. Firefly, man. All that.

[Taylor Takahashi]

All that.

[Chanel]

I love it.

[Eddie Huang]

You know that. That's this, that's this, that's this.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's the flame. Dude, I cannot wait. I've only had this once, bro. Like, at one other restaurant.

[Eddie Huang]

Which one? Noodle Town. I know I got you this at Noodle Town.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Well, no. Okay, then it's two Noodle Town. But see, like, I was so faded at Noodle Town. I don't remember. Like that, right? Yeah, but I had this East Ocean restaurant in Alameda. Oh, had a. It probably is not the same, but they had a version of this. It's more.

[Eddie Huang]

No, probably same. Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

More of orange sauce. Like, orange flavored sauce, but very same idea, same concept. Like, it looked exactly the same. Like glazed fried rib.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. This is a class. Every restaurant got their version of basically red pork chop.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Got it.

[Eddie Huang]

You know, some people call it Beijing pork shop. So what I'm doing here is because I was too high at the store, and I did not pick up an oil that is good for high heat frying. I'm using chicken schmaltz, which is good for frying. So this is very, very ext. All right. Usually you're not getting to make this with chicken schmaltz, but that is what's going down here today.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I think schmaltz is good for anything. Like, you want to just add, like, plus two to, like, plus two gp, you know, like. Jesus Christ.

[Eddie Huang]

And remember when we were cooking the thing I always say, don't ever add clear water to a dish.

[Taylor Takahashi]

And.

[Eddie Huang]

And if you can use an oil with flavor, why not butter?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Who's arguing? More flavor? Yeah. If you argue more flavor, then no.

[Eddie Huang]

One'S gonna be mad.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I think. Fuck you.

[Eddie Huang]

More flavor.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

And then just because you have the book now, sir, you're gonna have to tell me certain things, but I know a one goes in this. Ketchup goes in this.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I lost the page.

[Eddie Huang]

Where's the Worcestershire? I lost the page.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, here we go. Here we go, Here we go. Seasoning sauce is A1 sugar Worchestershire ketchup and cold water.

[Eddie Huang]

Word. Yo. What I love about this, too, is it feels like we're working together again. That was the most fun, bro. We were taking calls from the K.

[Taylor Takahashi]

For an entire year, just walking around. Eddie pacing around his kitchen island. Just probably walk the three miles in his house, and then we go walk three miles after because it's the best way to decompress. Take a walk around the neighborhood. Little neighborhood stroll.

[Eddie Huang]

Just be insane.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Insane. I just walk into the house, and the same song's been playing for an hour. But, like. But I get it. I get it. You know what I mean?

[Chanel]

Nothing has changed.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Nothing's changed.

[Chanel]

I was like, it's the same life. It's just instead of you, I'm doing it. I'm not getting paid. I'm just actually doing more labor now. I'm just like, oh, I'll carry and take care of your kid, like, for free.

[Eddie Huang]

Listen, Chanel, diaper bag coming next week.

[Chanel]

Okay.

[Eddie Huang]

All right. I pay in leather goods, so it's like, it's not completely unsure. You're not paying.

[Chanel]

I like leather goods if they came filled with cash, too. You know what I'm saying?

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. I'm also buying her used leather goods.

[Chanel]

I know. Like, they're not even new.

[Eddie Huang]

They're not even new.

[Chanel]

They don't come in a box. They come in, like, a random dust bag. And this is, like, to Walmart on it. It's good, though. It's authenticated. It's real, for sure.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Quality.

[Eddie Huang]

I rolled up to the RealReal for Christmas because she was like, I want a Birkin. And I straight up went in there and go, yo, what's the cheapest Birkin you got? He's like, what? I'm like, no, just look at the price. What's the cheapest one? And he brought it out, and I showed her. I was like, is it good enough? She goes, I mean, yeah. And I'm like, merry Christmas.

[Chanel]

How do you say no to that approach? I was like, I kind of love how, like, broke you're being in here.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chanel]

You know what I mean? I was like, this is kind of.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I think that's how a guy's just like, we'd rather have a selected gift. If we're going to give something, we'd rather you like it. So we're going to like.

[Chanel]

Like, for sure.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. It's not the cost.

[Chanel]

I give lists. Like, I'm like, I'll give you a PowerPoint presentation of what I want with photos and links.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

I've been doing this my whole life.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

For Christmas, I'll send a link. I'm like, it's all of these things just by the.

[Eddie Huang]

She actually sent a deck for her engagement ring, and still somehow I got nervous and bought two, which we are impoverished now. Yeah.

[Chanel]

That's why I had to get a used bag.

[Eddie Huang]

This is the impoverished wall.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Back to the mountain.

[Chanel]

It's okay. You get used goods before you have a baby. And then you have a baby, and you're getting new shit.

[Eddie Huang]

You're getting new shit.

[Chanel]

You saw my vagina rip open.

[Eddie Huang]

So, no, it did not tear.

[Chanel]

It didn't. It didn't tear, but you just saw it, like, grow 10 sizes.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, listen, I'm not certified to be a OBGYN, but I will tell you something. This is how you don't tear, all right? Because I was part of this play.

[Chanel]

You can't give his secrets. No, no, no. We paid $30,000 for this. Literally, like, we paid.

[Eddie Huang]

This man was like, Yo, I'm going to teach you how to look, look, 75,000. Like, this is our Gluck. Gluck, dude.

[Chanel]

Dr. Rad, if he, like, sues us for this. This is a $30,000 secret.

[Eddie Huang]

Dr. Brad straight up was like this. Do you concur? And I was like, I concur. And then he goes, eddie, reach for the arm. Reach for the arm. Reach for army goes, go, go, go. I gotta let it up. It's gonna dare. And I got the baby out and I went, reach for the arm. And delivered. No tear. Seriously, if we could show you her vagina on the show, we would. To prove there's no tear. But trust, there's no tear.

[Chanel]

There's no tear. And you said my vagina got better.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, it did get better. I wasn't leveled up a baby.

[Chanel]

And they, like, upgraded it. Like, something happened and it, like, got, like, better.

[Eddie Huang]

I wasn't supposed to get up in there, but no one told. No one told me, I'm gonna turn this fire. Nobody told me not to get up in there. So one night I got up in there.

[Chanel]

No, I'm pretty sure that we all told you. Like, every single person in the room was like, don't have sex. I was like, please don't fuck me.

[Eddie Huang]

You concur?

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

You concur?

[Chanel]

I mean, I texted him while it was happening, and I was like, hey, this is going on.

[Eddie Huang]

Really? Are you serious?

[Chanel]

Yeah, he was like, approved. It's fine.

[Eddie Huang]

So the doctor concurred. He concurred. I went in there and, yo, her is like, a third of the size it used to be. And, like, it was not large before. No, no, no. I'm just saying it's like, whatever it was, it's a third of that.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Okay.

[Eddie Huang]

It's like, really, like, I really had to find the thing.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Got it, Got it.

[Eddie Huang]

But once I found it, it was like, I felt. It was, like, more aware. Babe.

[Chanel]

I don't know. I mean, maybe having a baby, like, just, like, improves things.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. I think the awareness level of your vagina is like, it on Smash right now. Like.

[Chanel]

But, you know, the older women, you know, it's like, opposite for men and women. I actually don't know what it is for men. But, like, women, you're like, sex gets better for you the older you get.

[Eddie Huang]

Oh.

[Chanel]

Like, women in their 40s are, like, in their sexual prime. Like, they're like, orgasms get better. Everything feels better. Like, you're like, more.

[Eddie Huang]

I felt like I was in my prime. I. I felt good in there.

[Chanel]

You're in your 40s. Maybe you're in your male prime.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, it got better. I was so worried about the puppet burning down, and I have to say, it's like I came to the restaurant and I was like, damn, the food is better around here. They got a new chef.

[Chanel]

We got a new chef. Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Portion is a little tighter.

[Taylor Takahashi]

There was another.

[Chanel]

There was another man in there.

[Taylor Takahashi]

You know what I mean?

[Chanel]

Like, Dr. Rad was in there delivering.

[Eddie Huang]

That is true. I did. We definitely shared her vagina for a second.

[Taylor Takahashi]

A second, actually.

[Eddie Huang]

And there was a third dude in there. Santa.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Been in there. It's been.

[Eddie Huang]

Technically, she got the triple penetration, But.

[Chanel]

I've always wanted to train, you know?

[Eddie Huang]

Hey, yo, I'm just kidding.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I'm kidding.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, she got the acela. It was like, for five seconds. All right, so back to the pork chops. How are you? How did we end up here?

[Chanel]

Oh.

[Eddie Huang]

So I'm gonna tell you this, right? And Tay, don't. You can interrupt me at any time. Don't even worry. Yeah, you want to talk about aliens while I'm doing this? Go ahead.

[Taylor Takahashi]

All right.

[Eddie Huang]

This pork chop here, I marinated in some Shaoxing rice wine and soy sauce in the recipe over there. It told me to use soy and tenderizer, baking powder, all this stuff. But I'm going to do the more soigne. And it's just rice wine, soy sauce. And instead of using a meat tenderizer, I had it cut on the band saw. Half inch thick pork chop. You go to your butcher, you say, yo, let me get a half inch thick pork chop. Pound it out. I'll come back in five minutes. That's what he did. Zane at the Santa Monica Bristol Farms asked me to leave five star Yelp review. Zane, I don't use Yelp, but I will give you a five star review here. Yeah, look at the tenderization of this pork chop.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It's floppy like, bro, it's nice.

[Eddie Huang]

This shit looks like it has that, like, snail facial cream that people sell in Korean cosmetic stores.

[Chanel]

Snail mucin.

[Eddie Huang]

Snail mucin.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yep.

[Eddie Huang]

It's really serving a skincare look, this pork chop. So Zane pounded it out. He pounded out this snail mucin looking pork chop, and then I marinated it in Shaoxing wine and soy.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Classic.

[Eddie Huang]

Very delicious. Now what we're gonna do is mix up cornstarch, a little bit of baking powder, and tapioca, AKA sweet potato starch. Bro, I'm like, excited tonight. This is the first time we've taped at night. And then you're on the show. I'm hyped.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I feel. I feel like at the. I know. I carry that with an honor, my friend. Like, that's. That's legit. That's legit. It's like we're actually having dinner.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Which is for sure feels like Dina time.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It's dinner time.

[Eddie Huang]

I have to say, like, when. When it's either Evan on or Taylor on or Elena on, it just feels, like, fair.

[Chanel]

Yeah. It's, like, fun.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. It's easy.

[Chanel]

It's always fun. But it's just, like, different.

[Eddie Huang]

It's like having our cousins. Yeah. The siblings are over.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, exactly.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's too big, bro. I gotta ask, what was the. Your favorite dish that we made?

[Eddie Huang]

Okay, I will say my favorite dish we made is the up wings, which we've done on the show. The Szechuan lemon pepper wings.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Because, like, I remember I created that one day when after we worked out.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yep, yep.

[Eddie Huang]

And I was like, yo, I'm gonna make you these fucked up wings.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yep, yep.

[Eddie Huang]

And I ended up, like, doing new shit with the recipe that day. Like, with fish sauce that I had never done. And I was like, oh, this took it to another level.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yep.

[Eddie Huang]

The fucked up wings, I think, was my favorite dish. What about you?

[Taylor Takahashi]

I think that's tough, bro. Like, the lobster dandan noodle with this, with the New York strip was crazy.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Crazy. But I think lion's head meatballs was my favorite.

[Eddie Huang]

That's your favorite dish?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Like, it's the best. Like, I can't even tell you, like, what I think it's just, like, because you get, like, everything in. In a bite maybe, but, like.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

I don't know.

[Chanel]

Is just so perfect. Like, it's my favorite winter broth. I'm like, this is all I want.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Clean but flavorful. And then. I don't know you. It feels nutritious.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Speaking of dandan noodles, I made Holly dandan noodles. Spicy. To induce. And she gave.

[Chanel]

She had the baby. Was it the next day?

[Eddie Huang]

The next day?

[Chanel]

Yeah, the day.

[Eddie Huang]

Wow.

[Chanel]

Yeah. She put a bunch of chili oil in there and she had the baby.

[Eddie Huang]

Yup.

[Chanel]

Easy. She had, like, a. Her labor was so quick. She said she pushed for eight minutes.

[Eddie Huang]

We now have to have Holly and Nick on to do the induction Dan. Dan Noodle recipe. Congrats to Holly and Nick.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Congratulations.

[Eddie Huang]

Love you guys. So excited for you. Amazing.

[Taylor Takahashi]

100.

[Eddie Huang]

But yeah, the meals we were cooking were crazy in the house.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, my God, the house. The hot pot.

[Eddie Huang]

The hot pot was good.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie Huang]

I haven't done that for Natasha. We go out for hot pot.

[Taylor Takahashi]

But make him make you a hot pot.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

And then we should do with your parents.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, you should come too, today. Yeah, we should do it. The five of us should do it.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Love to. Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. Because he does, like, I do half the broth is my Szechuan and then the other side is that chicken pork broth my mom makes you, but with Taylor's Japanese herbs like Mizune and stuff like that.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, it's a great mashup. It's kind of a really good representation of. Of our relationship to a degree.

[Chanel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Just like, there's the starter and then I'm like, all right, cool. I think I can throw some things in there that'll taste good.

[Chanel]

Yeah. Freak it a little bit.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. And we're culture sharing at the same time, so it's good.

[Eddie Huang]

It's a collab.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It's a collab. A lot.

[Eddie Huang]

A lot of my cooking era. Yeah.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo. So, like, it's. It's funny how, like, your cooking changes in eras. My era with you now is significantly healthier and like, postpartum and even before then, like, trying to give you stuff that was good for the baby.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

So my cuisine has gone that way. When it was Taylor, it was just like, if you put like, Yan can cook with Guy Fieri, like, that's what we were making. And then there was a Japanese dude just going like, Taylor's all right, right here.

[Chanel]

He was emerald. He was doing the Japanese. Bam.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Like, you know when the X Men are fighting and then Gambit's always on the outside, like, that's what's going carbs.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Just a flaming card every now and then, you know, just throw it in there. Like, I could do this, you know?

[Eddie Huang]

So funny. Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

But no, the cooking days were. Yeah, we. I think we'd always used to try, like, because you were green juice a lot. So we used to grocery shop, get a bunch of green juice stuff. But, like, as soon as that, like, like, that was like a morning thing.

[Chanel]

I was gonna say this is. This is Eddie's day. Wake up fast, have a green juice, have like a smoothie or like a protein bar or something. Like, just like the most healthy. And then 7 o' clock, he's like, should we do drugs?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Should we order pop pasta and, like, maybe an ice cream?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

And I'm just like, bro, like, you were so healthy all day. What's going on?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Like, what happened?

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, I just decided to do drugs.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Oh, I'm closing the door. We have mosquitoes.

[Eddie Huang]

Okay, let's do it.

[Chanel]

You know, it's like a new thing.

[Taylor Takahashi]

What?

[Chanel]

There's, like, mosquitoes in la.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Really?

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. That is a big skeeter, and that's, like, huge.

[Chanel]

I'm not getting terrorized.

[Taylor Takahashi]

If that's a skeeter, that's crazy big skeeter.

[Chanel]

And I can see them.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That is a mama skeeter.

[Eddie Huang]

That looks like a hawk.

[Chanel]

No, you're hidden.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That has palate.

[Eddie Huang]

Mosquito.

[Chanel]

In here, babe.

[Eddie Huang]

Nar.

[Chanel]

Nar. Well, honestly, I'm like, I got a.

[Eddie Huang]

Pork chop in my head. Don't know what to do.

[Chanel]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie Huang]

Nar. Oh, my God. I have a pork chop in my hand. Taylor's such a respectful person.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

If you see him on Tinder, match him. He's very respectful.

[Chanel]

I was going to say. Are you on Tinder?

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

I feel like.

[Eddie Huang]

No, you're all right.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm all right.

[Chanel]

Okay. So I have. You're in Whitley Heights, right?

[Taylor Takahashi]

I'm what?

[Chanel]

You're in Whitley Heights.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I'm Hollywood Whitney.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Okay. Do you know, like, all my girlfriends live in Whitley Heights?

[Eddie Huang]

Did you know? This is a setup.

[Chanel]

They're exact stairs. They're. And one by one, they're gonna come up and you have to rate them 1 to 10.

[Eddie Huang]

You're the yellow bachelor.

[Chanel]

You're like, oh, let's do it. I thought you're like, no, I would.

[Eddie Huang]

Never do the Oriental Bachelor.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Can it be like, Real Rye where they play?

[Chanel]

No, but I really do. Like, you should meet them because they're. They, like, love that neighborhood and, like, walk around all the time. I'll like, link you with them.

[Eddie Huang]

They're awesome.

[Chanel]

Let's do it.

[Eddie Huang]

They're great.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. More friends.

[Chanel]

Yeah, more.

[Eddie Huang]

More friends.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's all friends. More friends.

[Chanel]

I feel like it's, like a thing in L. A, though. If you're friends that live in your neighborhood, it, like, you kind of have your life.

[Eddie Huang]

You kind of have to try the dick in your neighborhood.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chanel]

Well, I was just going to say, like, it's cool to have a friend to be like, oh, we live in. Like, you don't have to drive anywhere. You can just, like, walk to their place and, like. I don't know, maybe not. You don't have to, like, test out the dishes.

[Taylor Takahashi]

No.

[Chanel]

You can just have a friend.

[Eddie Huang]

You could just walk by the restaurant. Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

You could walk by the restaurant.

[Chanel]

No, I'm actually done. I will never set anyone up Romantically, ever again in my life.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, that's true.

[Chanel]

I. I've never done it until I met Eddie. And I've just. Then it happened two times and they were like the most disastrous situations. Like, whatever. I'm not gonna get into it, but whatever the worst thing that you can imagine happened, happened twice in different ways. Like, it was insane. So I'm done. I will never play cupid again. I'm like, if two people are here and they're like, who's that guy? Who's that girl? I'm like, I don't know them.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Couldn't give you their number. I don't. Don't even know how they got here. I don't know them.

[Taylor Takahashi]

We actually need to kick them out. We don't know who the fuck these people are.

[Eddie Huang]

Dude, you know how there's like Millionaire, matchmaker of the show.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

And they're like, trying to match up Millionaire. We would be like, down bad matchmaker. It's like whoever we match up is down bad.

[Chanel]

We would literally be like going to jail matchmaker.

[Taylor Takahashi]

For the record, I'm not friends with.

[Eddie Huang]

These people anymore, babe. It's not my fault. I had, like, really. I have nothing to do with this.

[Chanel]

No, no, but that's the thing is, like, you can have the best intentions to be like, these people are amazing.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

And you think you know somebody and then you're like, wait, what?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Like, my God.

[Chanel]

You're like, that is not a representation of the friend that I knew.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Got it.

[Chanel]

You know.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Got it. Crazy people be acting different sometimes. You know, people stuff up pending the, like. Yeah, pending, like the setting and everything. Yeah. People be.

[Chanel]

Switch up for real.

[Taylor Takahashi]

A little Batman mask goes on.

[Eddie Huang]

You know, honestly, we talk about LA on every episode, but I'm gonna do it again, cuz it's straight up, like, you talk to people and things. You should not lie about or misrepresent. People in LA is like, it's just game, fam. Like, it's all a game event. It's like, yo, that's somebody's health.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

You just up somebody else playing games. Like, they can't get rid of that sauce you spilled on her. Can't get rid of it.

[Chanel]

No, you can't.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It's in there.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Nothing has ever happened where you can't get rid of it.

[Eddie Huang]

No, no, no. True, true, true, true, true. Yeah, it same light sauce. Light sauce.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Did not stain the.

[Chanel]

Maybe a shot or two.

[Eddie Huang]

Shot. Yeah, it's like an oyster shot.

[Chanel]

I was like an antibiotic. I was Thinking about like a shot that goes in your arm or your ass.

[Eddie Huang]

Would you like crushed up amoxy sealant on the rim? Yes. Yeah, I'd like a crushed amoxicillin rim on this margarita. Thanks. Yeah, one of Eddie's friends hit me with the hot sauce.

[Chanel]

That's the cocktails we're serving here now. They just come with like a side of antibiotics. Yeah, it's a Z pack. It's like a three day thing.

[Eddie Huang]

Valtrex. Never had it in a martini. Valtrex martini.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, my God.

[Eddie Huang]

Good God, dude. Yeah, we're not matchmaking anymore.

[Chanel]

We're done.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, I mean, I feel like matchmaking is so hard. Like, even like on a real sense, it's so hard. Like, what? Oh, that is the.

[Chanel]

The hardest.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yo, what are you running from?

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, who's going to date you? Watching you run from above. This is your job.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Coming from my eyes.

[Eddie Huang]

It's right there. It's in the curtain.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Well, my.

[Eddie Huang]

Go kill it with your hands, dog.

[Chanel]

Oh, my God. Don't use the thing, babe. We like.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, yo, yo.

[Taylor Takahashi]

One clean swipe.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, shorty's. Look at his man skills. Look at this. Yo, peep. The man skilled it. This mosquito got skills.

[Chanel]

Thank you.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Feet are done.

[Chanel]

Because that's crazy.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, ladies just witnessed his, like, potential liability as a man. Like, damn, son. Babe, I would say this is one of the top three things you look for in a man. Like, bug killing.

[Chanel]

Yeah, for sure.

[Eddie Huang]

Like, this is one of the main services I provide.

[Chanel]

I just literally, if he's in the house, I just text him a picture and I'm like, are you available to, like, there's a spider in this room. Like, get it. Like, what are you doing? I'm like, do you need a. Do you need a chair? Like, it's on the ceiling. I'm like, what can I get for you? To aid and assist you. I need this gone, cuz I'm not playing that game.

[Eddie Huang]

I'm a concierge bug killer.

[Chanel]

I will say though, we had.

[Taylor Takahashi]

If you know, you know.

[Chanel]

Yeah, we had like a centipede and you weren't home and I didn't know what to do. I was like, spiraling. I had to get, like. I literally had the vacuum and I was like. Had the vacuum, like, away. And like, I vacuumed it up. It was crazy, bro. Even Gustavo, crazy of my life.

[Eddie Huang]

I. I outsource bug killing to Gustavo sometimes, but he's such a Now. Yo, there was a giant like, centipede. Crazy looking bug. Like. Like a new remix. Cockroach. Centipede. I was like, I never seen, like, large.

[Chanel]

Yeah, it was large. It had, like, wings and legs.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

It wasn't a cockroach. And it wasn't inside of our house. It was outside of our house.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

And I was like, yo, Gustavo, you gotta handle this shit, dog. This is.

[Taylor Takahashi]

This is what I called you for.

[Chanel]

What he did was crazy. So he put, like, a glass jar or something over it and left it. I remember because he asked me, he's like, do you want to see a picture of this bug? And I was like, no, why the fuck would I want to see that?

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Yeah. And then, like, four or five days later, I went outside to go, like, chill and read a book or something. And I was like, what's this glass jar doing on the ground? And I look at it and I'm like, oh, my God, there's this. The bug isn't here. He literally just left it there. I was like. I was like, he put it in a little. You couldn't have, like, just put it out. Out on the grass.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Let it go. I was like, you, like, suffocated it and left it here for me to find. It was traumatizing. And I was like, I didn't want to know this existed.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chanel]

I didn't want to know this was here.

[Eddie Huang]

It's like if you ordered a hit on somebody and the guy put him in a Ziploc bag and left him on the floor, you were fine. Like, bro, I was like, what? You gotta take out this guy again?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

You need to be taking the life out of this body, not just putting it in a dome. This looks like you made it a pet, but it's.

[Chanel]

Gustavo has, like, done so many other things for us because we're incompetent.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That, like, Gustavo's the best.

[Eddie Huang]

He really.

[Chanel]

He really is. Like, for four real.

[Eddie Huang]

But, yo, five people were here. We could not fix the smoke alarm. Gustavo, Clara, me, you, your mom, five.

[Chanel]

I need you to know, okay, like, pan to the ceiling. We don't have a lab.

[Eddie Huang]

It's unfortunate. We're, like, so rich. The ceiling's too high.

[Chanel]

We're not. So if you want the podcast, please.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. I just want to say, when you're in the comments complaining about the fire alarm, it's not the fire alarm you're complaining about. It's my wealth.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Display of wealth.

[Chanel]

Just to be real, even if you stood on a chair, you would not reach that. Like, we're just. We can't do it. It's fine. It's gonna be beeping. We're fine with it.

[Eddie Huang]

But we love you guys. Thank you for your concern for the fire alarm. Thank you for clicking like on these videos. Please subscribe.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, subscribe.

[Chanel]

I mean, now we're just doing it like subscribe.

[Eddie Huang]

That's how you be cooking. Subscribe.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That was my gambit for your five, bro. I love it.

[Eddie Huang]

I love it.

[Chanel]

Man.

[Taylor Takahashi]

What was your. Of the food events we've done? What's been your favorite favorite food event?

[Eddie Huang]

Food events we've done?

[Taylor Takahashi]

I guess the three I'll put out there is the union with your parents.

[Eddie Huang]

Oh, yeah. Cooking for the union holiday party. Shouts to Chris Gibbs. He got his own cooking show now. Oh, I've seen him doing his flying fish recipe.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's sick. That's sick. That's sick. Adidas, I guess the. The sports club, I think jerk chicken. A lot of you did. You did Jamaican flavors then. Oh, bro, the shoe launch food was crazy, actually. The brisket bow.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. The Adidas barbecue. The Chinese boys barbecue.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Chinese boy barbecue.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. You know, I gotta say, I think my favorite menu I've done and favorite event is tied. Well, I'll just say it was. There was a restaurant called Reddit. This was before we met.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

There's a restaurant called Red Egg.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Okay.

[Eddie Huang]

And Paul Sevigny got me a gig for this like sparkling cava, like a Spanish champagne. And I think I got like somewhere around like 80 racks to cook for like 40 of my friends in a Chinese restaurant. And there was like no pressure.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

This is like Paul shout to Paul Sevier. Best job I got. Like, I loved it. Cuz I just got to cook for 40 friends. I invited the homies. They didn't give a. They got me whole giant souls.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Just got you what you needed, you know what I mean?

[Eddie Huang]

Giant, like flounders and souls. And I was steaming flatfish. I did like steamed oysters with exo sauce. I did lion's head meatballs. Like this cava dinner was crazy.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's sick.

[Eddie Huang]

And then the second one was the Adidas when they. When they did the Wongs world pop up for three days in the Lower east side, okay. And we had like guest chefs. I made beef noodle soup. That. Those were the two. My two probably favorite two favorite ones. Yeah, they were cool. What was yours?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, dude, I think the first one, bro. The very first one, it was crazy. Rich Asians.

[Eddie Huang]

That's right. Yeah, I tell her about that one. All the time because she used to. To go eat vegan at Kung Pao Bistro.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Okay.

[Chanel]

I used to be vegan, like many years ago. And I would go eat there cuz they had like vegan Chinese food.

[Taylor Takahashi]

No, it was. That's one of my favorites, obviously was the first one.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

But we. I like learned like step by step how to make Hainan chicken with Eddie.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

And like, it was so funny because like after the event, I like went back to that apartment. I was living with Dr. Drew and I was like, bro, we're making this shit for like three weeks. You know what I'm saying? Like, get ready to eat fucking high end chicken.

[Chanel]

Did you guys make it?

[Taylor Takahashi]

But like, we, we made it. I made it three times in like a month because it was just like I got to ingrained it in my brain, you know what I mean? It's fresh.

[Chanel]

I also love that we all refer to Drew as Dr. Drew.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Like, I can't stop doing it sometimes. I'm like having a conversation with him and I'm like, Dr. Drew. And I'm like, drew, I'm sorry.

[Eddie Huang]

And it's funny. It's like your mom and my, my brother and Dr. Drew are probably the most mentioned people on the pod.

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Eddie Huang]

You know, it's really funny. We'll have to have Dr. Drew on at some time, but get his ass the thing. Yo, I remember meeting you that day. Well, I met you playing ball.

[Chanel]

Wait, wait, wait, you guys met that day?

[Taylor Takahashi]

No, that was the first food thing we did. We did together. But yeah, we met playing. Playing ball.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I remember walking into the gym and like, I didn't know who was like on the team per se. Like, I like had an idea and then like our homie gave me like a little bit of like, like a player profile per like person that was on the team. And like, you know, our guy basketball talk with like persons and shit.

[Chanel]

This person's got a jumper. This.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, whatever. And so like Eddie's was like bruiser and three point. Like like shooter and bruiser, right? And I was like, all right, that's cool. Like, you know, that's fucking solid. Like everyone needs that. Like that guy. You need a toughness guy, right? That's gonna do the shit. And so like, I remember walking in and like everyone of who was there, they were just like lined up on the wall. So like I walk in, everyone's to my left and Eddie's on the end. So I'm meeting like, say what's up to the homie? And Then, like, I met everyone for the first time.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

And then he's like, yo, what's up? I'm Eddie. And I was like, yeah, I know. I know the. You are like, what's up? And then we were warming up and you came up to me and. Because my tattoo on my. My. On my left arm is my. My mom's maiden last name, which is Yamamoto, and it means, like, base of the mountain. And so, like, he recognized the character and he was like, yo. You were like, yo, I like your tattoo. Yeah, that's what's up. I kind of like, broke the ice, you know what I mean? And I wanted to ask this for like a million questions, like, before we were about to start playing. Granted, we have, like three minutes to warm up, right? And so I'm like, you know what? Let me take a step back here. And like, it's. It's Sunday at like 9 o' clock in the morning. Like, this fool ain't trying to talk about, like, like the show or book, you know what I mean? In my head, I was like, yo, if it's meant to be, like, we'll have a relationship. We'll talk. We get to talk about whatever, you know what I mean? I'll get to ask them all the food like, that could possibly come up and look where we are now. But that was bro. From Mofufu's hoops to. To 2000 and now 23.

[Chanel]

Is it crazy that you guys met playing basketball and then you ended up like, shooting a movie together about playing basketball? Is that, like, crazy? Is that weird to you? Like, not weird, but, like, crazy. Like, I met this person playing basketball and now you're like, in a movie. Yeah, he's directing it. You're like, what the fuck?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Full circle on, like, so many different levels. Yeah, so many different levels. There's a basketball portion. There's like a friendship relationship portion. There's just like. Yeah, in entirety that entire year, like, was. Was fucking crazy, bro. Yeah, yeah, nuts.

[Chanel]

And you were like. You were together leading up to it too, right?

[Eddie Huang]

But we lived together through the entire film. It was crazy. Like, I don't know, I get emotional about it, like, because it's like, it's very meaningful. Like, I love hearing you talk about it because, like, you have these things that you play in your head over and over. Like, I play over and over. Like, meeting you.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

You know, working together, doing the film, like, fucking being in the edit together. Like, I play it over and it's cool to hear your side because I'm never like, what are you? You know, like, I'm just, like, trying to go off your face and figure out what you're thinking, you know, because I'm an idiot. I don't just ask. I'll just be, like, solid. But, like, you know, I remember what really, really stood out to me about you was you, when we played ball, all played the right way, like Greg Popovich, Larry Brown type. And you were clearly the best player on the floor by, like, leaps and bounds. And you were so respectful and made the right play every time, and you picked your spots. And I was like, yo, there are a lot of people who are talented.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

But very few people want to play the right way.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

And especially when it involves humility. And I was just like, yo, this is a special dude.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Because, like, I really do think the way you play sports is very reflective of your, like, inner nature. And I watch it and I pay attention. And so I remember going up to you after, like, the third game, and I was like, yo, my man. Not to be, like, all weird in la, but, like, what. What do you. Like, what do you do for work out here? And you were like, yo, I work at this yakitori spot. Yeah. And I was like, oh. Oh, sick. And I was just like, all right, well, I got this event. I don't even think I told you. It was crazy Asian. I was like, yeah, we just, like, cooking this food. Because I didn't want to be like. Be like, yeah, cook for this movie with, like, a lot of Asian people in it, you know?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Like.

[Eddie Huang]

You know, like, you know, like, I was just like, whatever, you know, I couldn't even sit through the whole movie in the theater. But we're going to cook for this DVD with release. We're gonna cook for them because we support this movement. Support them. Love it, love it, love it to the core. Yeah. Loved it. And then you cook. And I remember the thing you would. You were just. You would do it exactly how we talked about.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Because I think one of the things that pisses chefs off the most in the kitchen is you talk, you have a game plan. You show a specific. And it's like, pretty much there's not a way to this up.

[Taylor Takahashi]

No.

[Eddie Huang]

And you're like, you got it. And then you do it once, and I see. Oh, that's it. Yeah. Replicate that 700 times.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

You walk away, you come back, and it's like, wait, wait, so you. You cut some zigzags.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, I was just thinking. I said zigzagging Thinking, I think you should go home. Yeah, I should go the home. Yeah, right? You would never zigzag the. You would never try to short cut it.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, you would.

[Eddie Huang]

You wouldn't, like, complain. And I was just like, yo, this dude is a hard worker. So I was like, from the restaurant. All right, let's remember I called you the day before Christmas.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, bro. Yeah, yeah. I recall the conversation, like, to a T, bro.

[Eddie Huang]

And I remember I was trying so hard to not sound like Ari Gold, and I was just like, yo, my man, like, would you like to work in the business? I could have resisted at one point. I was like, this is gonna be too funny. Like, yo, my man, you trying to work in the business? Because, like, you're me and you are both kind of like. I'm like, I work in it, but I don't socialize in it.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, like that.

[Eddie Huang]

It was fun to cosplay. Like, you know, you try and be in this business.

[Taylor Takahashi]

This luxury business.

[Eddie Huang]

And you were like, what are you talking about?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, but you're like, hey, what business? Entertainment industry, fam.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Nah, dude. I think with the cooking portion goes back to, like, I think how I played basketball too, where it's just like, I don't have the ego in the kitchen, you know? Like, I don't need to make mine just because I'm doing it. Like, I actually respected that you would, like, take the time to teach. You know what I mean? Yeah, it was like, I. I knew very, like, few things about, I think, like, Taiwanese, like, Chinese food, like, the basics. You know what I mean? So to learn it from you, your parents, like, I really like the union one. Just because, like, do. Your mom was showing me how to cut tofu with a. Like, with floss. Yeah, she came up. She's like, yo, do you have. Do you have. You have, like, fishing wire or floss? I'm like, no. Like, who carries. I got a knife. Yeah, like, go get floss. We found floss. And she was like, showing me how to cut the. That's so sick.

[Chanel]

She's so. Everything she cooks is insane.

[Taylor Takahashi]

The most fire.

[Chanel]

It's insane. And there's nothing she can't make. Like, I was like, I want juice. She, like, made the illest juice I've ever had my life. How did you do this?

[Taylor Takahashi]

What did you put in this?

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, yeah, I just looked it up.

[Chanel]

And made it better. And I was like, yo, this is crazy.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, let me ask you. This is a cool, like, yo. With my mom. What's your impression of My mom, like, working with her in a kitchen.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Ooh, your mom. Because it's your mom. Like, I think she has the most subtle way to, like, get you to do something without it being like, oh, it just told me to do something kind of thing. Or, like, I should get him huge a. I don't think I ever put my. Myself in a position to, like, get yelled at by your mom. Like, if I had fucked something up. That's different, but just general and, like, how your mom is in the kitchen, I think real calm collection. Like, the OG like, she's just like. You know what I mean? Like, same thing. Like, I showed you how to do it. You fucking, like, just do it. I'm not gonna come and check.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I'm. I'm gonna look from afar, and I'm gonna, like, make sure it's going how it's supposed to go. But, like, yeah, the most OG and, like, the most.

[Chanel]

Yeah, like, she knows her way around the kitchen. Like, doesn't matter. You can put her in any the world, and she'll be like, easy, straight.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Same thing every time. I need this, this, and this. Because I forgot they came to the Thanksgiving dinner, too. The doordash.

[Eddie Huang]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. In South Carolina.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Georgia.

[Eddie Huang]

Georgia.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It was fucking Augusta. Georgia.

[Eddie Huang]

Georgia.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Augusta, Georgia.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

I have such a bad memory. When we were working together, I was like, tao, remember? Now I'm like, I gotta remember.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Did my best.

[Eddie Huang]

Write the note. All right, so tell me Pei May's recipe. All right, I'm doing this right now. I'm adding the A1 Worcestershire, agave. What else is in there for the sauce part?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Ketchup.

[Eddie Huang]

Ketchup.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I got ketchup, A1 sugar.

[Eddie Huang]

I got water.

[Taylor Takahashi]

And that's it. That's it.

[Eddie Huang]

That's it. Ketchup, A1 Worcestershire, sugar. How much of each?

[Taylor Takahashi]

One tablespoon of everything down the line except for two tablespoons of water.

[Eddie Huang]

Oh, okay. All right. So then it's the agave I'm missing, and it's.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's gonna go crazy.

[Eddie Huang]

Like I said, I don't like adding water to recipes.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It's unnecessary. Always a better. Oh, hitting.

[Eddie Huang]

Hitting. This is hitting.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I've heard that ooh before. Yeah. Like, good news.

[Eddie Huang]

We about to. This. Is this sauce about to get loose.

[Taylor Takahashi]

This sauce? Yeah. I think it's been, like, dope to. To be in the kitchen with you and your mom and just people working. Like, it's like, I think, very much like basketball. You see how people are in the kitchen because there's A lot of pressure. You know what I mean? It's all pressure to cook shit.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

And, bro, I. Oh, my God. That was the first time I've seen you. The fucking crazy rich Asians was the first time I seen you, like, blow up on somebody.

[Eddie Huang]

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Cause, homie, I told him, this batch of Hainan rice is for the first dinner. This batch of Hainan rice is for the second dinner. And he served all the rice in the first dinner. I remember that shit.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I've never.

[Chanel]

Can you tell us a little bit about how Eddie is when he explodes?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, my God. I've never. Like, so I. All. I'm. I'm in, like, kind of not the corner, but I'm in, like, the back. They're more in the front, right?

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I just see a spoon just go, like, flying across the. I'm like, what the is that? And then I hear Eddie just going off, like, what the. What the. Did I tell you, for the record.

[Eddie Huang]

I did not throw it at the dude.

[Taylor Takahashi]

You didn't throw it at the dude?

[Eddie Huang]

I threw it into dry storage.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, you threw it into, like, just the abyss of the kitchen. Wasn't.

[Eddie Huang]

Me, too, yo. Me too. Me, too.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It wasn't a person or is that a vegetable?

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I just hear, like, what the fuck? What the fuck did I tell you to. Blah, blah, right? And mind you, this kid before, I talked to him a little bit, like, before the event started.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

He was real nervous because I think he worked at Bauhaus as well, and he was just like, oh, like, dude, it's like, my first thing with, like, Eddie and the thing I was like, bro, just be yourself. Like, it's the best thing you could do is just be yourself and, like, do your job, bro. Like, stop tripping. You know, you're overthinking it. And. And that's me telling him he's overthinking it.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Which is nuts. But.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

But I told him, like, yo, stop overthinking. Overthinking, right? Comes to this, like, we have the turn of people sat. First seating and second seating. People come, and we literally were able to fill up, like, you know, the Chinese. Like, the thing that the rice comes in, like, the little plastic, you lift it up. So we had, like, 10 of those, and we only filled up five. And he was like, where the fuck is the rice? So the kid starts running around like, yo, where's the other rice? Where's the other rice? And we're like, bro, did you use Both of the rice cookers, because that's all we got. And he was like, fuck. Like, I fucking use the second one. I was like, oh, shit. So this full comes back, and I never. But I pulled you remember? I pulled you to the side. Yeah, I pulled you to the side. And I was like, bro, like, what do you need, right. Right now, right? The shit's happened. The shit's on fire. Like, what the fuck do you need? And he was like, bro, we need more. Like, we need. We need the ingredients, right? Like, I. Fuck it. Luckily, at that restaurant, there's a Whole Foods that's, like, right there. We went, bought the shit, and we got everything. Like, we made enough rice to save the day.

[Chanel]

Save the day.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It comes, like, the anger comes from, like, in Cooking with Eddie. It comes from, like. Because, like, he always. It's not that you. Like, everyone wants to do their best and shit, but, like, he cares so much about, like, the quality of the food that's going out. Like, there's a lot of people get paid to cook, and they're just like.

[Chanel]

Yeah, like, roll it out.

[Taylor Takahashi]

We put food out. There's one banger out there. Like, they're cool, but, like, every dish and then every step matters, and it's like, yo, we can't short this because, like, people will taste it, and, like, we don't want that. So it was like, it comes from a good place.

[Eddie Huang]

It comes from this, like, weird, psychological place where if I don't do my best, I'm like, I have wasted my mom's life.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Okay.

[Eddie Huang]

You know, it's weird. I'm like, you know, that's it. But it's, like, stupid.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Because it's like, my mom don't give a.

[Chanel]

But it's also crazy because it's like, you're cooking, and it's. You're like the chef, but there's other people in the kitchen. You know what I mean? And then it's like, you're the. You're the one who fucked it up. If it's fucked up, I would be like, I don't like relying on other people.

[Taylor Takahashi]

There's not.

[Chanel]

Like, it's crazy because you're like, I have to rely on this team.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

I have to make sure this kid get. Makes the right. He didn't make the rights. It's on you. That's tough.

[Taylor Takahashi]

And it's not like, a super hand selected team. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, got to pick a couple of the pieces, but the. The rest of the team. It's like, you know, who's down to get paid 15 an hour?

[Chanel]

Guy that like, maybe has never cooked before. They like found him that day.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. Usually the dishwasher. And now he's cooking. He's like, fuck. Like, you know what I mean? Like, this is crazy.

[Chanel]

Like some guy's cousin come work this dinner.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It's always a cousin. Yeah, my cousin's here. Like, you know, can you get a spot?

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah. I fucking hate doing pop. Like, okay. I love doing pop ups. Like, like the Bauhaus one. Because it's exciting.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

And you know, it's really fun to go do it, but it's probably the hardest thing you can do in restaurants is a pop up.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Pop up sucks, bro.

[Eddie Huang]

Because it's a whole new restaurant in like three days.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Exactly.

[Eddie Huang]

And it's like, we gotta nail this shit. So I respect when a pop up is good, but I actually expect them to be terrible.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. It's hard to execute.

[Eddie Huang]

All odds are against you.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

It's like a boxer taking a fight on short notice with no training.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah. Like two week notice. Hey. Yeah, I just signed up. Let's do it. Whatever.

[Eddie Huang]

Like working with these people you've never met.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

What?

[Taylor Takahashi]

And if you're doing an off site prep too, like, you gotta pack the, like, nice cater wrap, the whole. And then since you cater wrapped it super nice when you get there, it takes a while to like, you know, get the Saran Wrap off. And then you got to do it again when you go back. Like the fucking worst. Worst.

[Chanel]

And you're like, still preserve the food.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah. Still make this good.

[Eddie Huang]

Still do your best. Still don't disappoint your mom.

[Chanel]

Yeah, for sure.

[Eddie Huang]

Don't let it be that she did domestic violence for no reason.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Have purpose.

[Eddie Huang]

But what's it called? Oh, the other thing today with this meal is I did not get paid to do this. I'm only doing this because I like this product and it got me out of trouble, bro. There's this brand that a homie from Fort Greene, Ibrahim, did a dozen cousins, they have rice cooked in broth. I never use like this because I just make rice.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

But since she got pregnant, like, I just need emergency rice, yo.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

This is crazy. You get like a bone broth rice. All you gotta do is heat it up in here and it's just been on low heat. You will taste it. I kind of want to see what you think about this rice.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Okay.

[Eddie Huang]

As a heated up rice, you could heat it up in the microwave, too, too?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eddie Huang]

But, like, I want to see what you think.

[Taylor Takahashi]

All right, I'm down.

[Eddie Huang]

So it's like Ibrahim's rice.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It's like a way more fire. Uncle Ben's setup.

[Eddie Huang]

Oh, yeah.

[Taylor Takahashi]

All right.

[Eddie Huang]

If you don't like it, definitely let us know. But, babe, these are your pork chops.

[Chanel]

Thank you.

[Eddie Huang]

So, so good.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Thank you do. I'm excited.

[Eddie Huang]

I like that we're whispering.

[Chanel]

Are you doing, like, ASMR over there?

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, we're, like, whispering for no reason. I think we got so high we just started whispering.

[Taylor Takahashi]

They can hear us.

[Eddie Huang]

They can hear us. The Mexican aliens can hear us.

[Taylor Takahashi]

They're with us.

[Chanel]

Wait, should we talk? Should we tell Taylor what happened?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Happening?

[Chanel]

There's, like, something crazy happening in our house. Eddie might be cheating on me, and I also might be cheating on him.

[Eddie Huang]

Okay, tell the story.

[Chanel]

Someone's cheating.

[Eddie Huang]

Tell the story.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Again, much scandal going on.

[Chanel]

Okay, I'm gonna tell the story.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yes.

[Chanel]

It's crazy. So for the last month, my mom's been here because, like, she came. I think she came, like, a couple days before he was born. And then. Oh, I'm sorry. I know. And so for the past month, the only people that have been in our house are literally Eddie, me, the baby, our night nurse, my mom, his parents, Julius, on occasion, whoever the podcast guest is. Julius, like, literally. That's it. Gustavo and Clara.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chanel]

So the other day, my mom had was, like, doing the laundry for us, and she put everything on the couch downstairs in our bedroom, and I was putting it away. And like, as a woman, you just know your whole Rolodex of underwear. Like, I know every piece of underwear that I own that I have. I'm like, this is my shit. And usually, like, when you're like, I don't know. I never, like, carry over underwear. Like, I'm never going to, like, be in a relationship with a dude. And then, like, then it's like, single. You, like, you re up. And then you like, yeah, like, I'm not going to, like, you know, it's just like, phases.

[Eddie Huang]

You can't be bringing.

[Chanel]

You can't bring, like, your underwear.

[Taylor Takahashi]

You can't.

[Chanel]

With your ex in with your new relationship. Like, you can't be doing that. That's just, like, weird energy.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chanel]

So I was putting everything away, and I like, look. And there's a pair of underwear that I've never seen before in my life, so I just assumed it was my mom's. And I'm like, damn. Okay, that's kind of slutty of you. Like, I don't know why you're wearing, like, leopard lace. Take your, like, okay, panties. Like, I, like, come upstairs and I'm like, yo, your underwear was in my shit. And she was like, not mine. M. So I marched my happy ass downstairs. He was, like, running laps around the pool, and I, like, opened the door and I just throw the fucking underwear at him. And I was like, okay, panties.

[Eddie Huang]

I was, like, having a great day with the dolls.

[Chanel]

And then I just. I just ruined the day.

[Taylor Takahashi]

I mean, why would you.

[Chanel]

I ruined the day. And I was like, you're just. I was like, leave. Get out of my house. This is my house now.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Can I ask.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, I was like a cartoon character with fucking panties on my head.

[Chanel]

So I ruined the day. I'm literally going to ham. Because, mind you, I just had carried shelf and, like, packed my toilet. I did. I packed my bag. I was like, get the out of my house. Because, like, you will never. I was like, this is my house now, and you will never come home again and I'm taking your son. Like, I literally went insane.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Did. Did the type of. Like, since it was a leopard print panty, did, like, did that throw any attention?

[Chanel]

No, it was an idea of like, I've never. I've never. I would never purchase underwear from this brand. Like, I've now I don't even know it. So I was like, this is not me. Like, this is not even me covering for Dusty.

[Eddie Huang]

Like, just. It was like a brown bag. Do you know what I mean? You know how certain stores you go to, you know, oh, I'm gonna get a nice paper bag. I'm gonna get a nice plastic bag. I may get a tote. This was like, yo, this is a brown bag over your vagina.

[Chanel]

No, it really wasn't. It was like a nor. Like, it was like, it wasn't. It was like a pair of underwear that, like, any would wear. He's really trying to cover for himself. It was crazy.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, I did not do this. So whatever to do with these pants.

[Chanel]

So whatever.

[Eddie Huang]

So everybody just comment. He didn't do it. He didn't do it.

[Chanel]

Whatever, right? So this story carries on. So I'm like, all right. I'm like, okay, there's a pair of fucking underwear in my house. Like, this is over. Like, I just had a baby with a fucking cheater. Like, I have to reassess my life. I'm like, thinking. I'm like, oh, my God. Thank God he let me know my pussy upgraded because Now I'm about to fuck everyone. I was going crazy.

[Eddie Huang]

She was saying this shit.

[Chanel]

I was like, and my mom is here, and for some fucking reason, they. This woman is defending him. She goes, I don't think he's a cheater. I don't think he would cheat on you. And I was like, shut the up. Like, I'm yelling at him. My mom's like, I don't think he's a cheater. And I'm like, who are you talking to? Are you in the office? Like, are you panning to, like, the fourth wall camera?

[Eddie Huang]

Like, what's going on?

[Chanel]

And she's like, don't think he did it. And I was like, what? I don't care. He needs to leave.

[Eddie Huang]

I love Paula.

[Chanel]

So I'm like, now he's. He's calling the housekeeper. He's like, have you ever seen these underwear? And I'm like, do you think that I care if she's seen them? Like, I'm losing my mind. He's calling everyone. He's texting his friends. He's like, did you happen to leave a pair of panties in this house? And I'm like, do you think that I'm gonna believe anything one of your friends says? It's like. It's like a prank. Like, when you're. Like, when you hit your friend up and you're like, what was I doing? Was I with you last night at 3:00am of course, if they're your boy, they're gonna be like, yeah, we were playing dominoes in my backyard.

[Eddie Huang]

Birdie is the realest one ever. I'm gonna tell you something about my man Jay Worthy.

[Taylor Takahashi]

This.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, if I ever caught a charge, I'm catching it with Worthy. Because I texted Worthy. Yo, my man, this is super off. Like, pause all that. Did you happen to leave a pair of women's panties at the crib after the pod? Because he changed and we went for a hike.

[Chanel]

Why would you.

[Eddie Huang]

And he goes. He goes, yo, my man, I had just taken the shit shorty to the beach. It must have fell out of my pocket. My bad, fool. And then calls me, yo, is that good?

[Chanel]

No, no, no, no. Before he calls him, this dumbass Jay Ronald comes out of the room and goes, oh, my God, I solved it. And I was like. And he tells me, and he shows me the text message, and I go, do you think I'm fucking dumb? I was like, you're making it worse.

[Eddie Huang]

I was like, bad idea.

[Chanel]

Honestly. I was like, this makes you look ten times more guilty. Your boy was at the. He pulled up to our house, no hoodie, because it was freezing out, but he was at the beach with some and now has her panties in his pocket. And he drew, and somehow they got in my laundry. I was like, you're crazy. Like, you think I'm a dumb. And that's.

[Eddie Huang]

I got a story to tell, too.

[Chanel]

I was like, this is crazy. And I was like, in my. I mean, in my head, he still cheated on me. I'm just over it. I don't care. You know what I mean? I'm just like, he's gonna buy me whatever I want.

[Eddie Huang]

I really thought Jay Worthy right now needs a remix of the Biggie. I got a story to tell. Beat and rap about this story about how he dropped these panties from the beach.

[Chanel]

Yeah, the pant. Like, so I've just been referring to him as Panties. Like, every time he said something. Okay, Panties. I'm like, all right.

[Eddie Huang]

We were at a pediatric. An important pediatrician meeting today, and she's saying this, and I'm like, yo, there's other things to focus on. Like, the doctor.

[Taylor Takahashi]

What do you think? Panties.

[Chanel]

The doctor's measuring our baby. I'm like, panties, you want. You want to take a look at your son? You want to look at how big he is now?

[Eddie Huang]

I'd be whispering to him, your mother's trying to ruin your life, yo.

[Chanel]

Oh, and then he also blames Senna. Like, he blamed our son. He was like, I think he planted them so that you. He would like him more than me, yo. Because he didn't want to share the title.

[Eddie Huang]

Senna don't want to share the titty would be selfish.

[Chanel]

Also, another.

[Eddie Huang]

Another thing. Knives out, the person with the most motivation is Senna.

[Chanel]

But the other thing I need everyone to know, the other thing that he said was he's As a real. In the heat of the moment, while we were fighting about this, like, as a real response, he said, okay. He literally looks at me and he goes. He goes, maybe someone is trying to sabotage our relationship. I need you. I need you. I need you to understand we're not living in a Jason Moore movie. Like, no one's planting candies in our house. Like, I hope they break up.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Like, I was, like, throwing nades.

[Chanel]

It's crazy.

[Eddie Huang]

I was like, babe, I. I never revealed to you, but I'm a spy for the Taiwanese government. They're trying to set me up. They're trying to set me up here.

[Chanel]

I was like, I literally don't care. Like. Like, what is going on?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

But then He. I don't. I actually don't know. I feel like he. He could be doing this just to, like, trick me and think that, like.

[Eddie Huang]

No, there's.

[Chanel]

He cheated on me and there's what? Like, I'm over it. It's fine. Like, we all. We'll get over it. It's fine. I can move on. I. But, like, then he was like. He's like, oh, you thought that was funny? And I was like, what? This is like four days later. He goes, we're over it at this point. He goes, you thought that was funny? I'm like, what the are you talking about? He's like, you put. You put some other guys boxers in my drawer? And I was like, what?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, bro.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

And he's. And then he, like, brings out. He's like, dusty. Like, it's the craziest thing because I was like, I've never seen these before in my life. Honestly, I've never seen you wear them. I've never seen them in this house. They were like. I've never even. It was like the crustiest brand.

[Eddie Huang]

It was like he's with dudes wearing 2x IST underwear.

[Chanel]

Oh, are you mad? I'm with the rock.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's worse.

[Eddie Huang]

There was a giant. There was a large Calvin Klein tidy white, like, stretched out, like. Like stretch. The shape of the.

[Chanel]

There's a lot of in there.

[Eddie Huang]

You gotta ask like a Cabbage Patch up.

[Chanel]

That's what I like. I love a fat man with a huge dick. Extra large. You know what I'm saying?

[Eddie Huang]

These draws were so ran through. It was like driving through the canyon. It's like holes.

[Chanel]

Because he only has one pair here. It's all he can wear when you're gone. That's why they're ran through.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, we're changing. We're changing the. Yo, you straight up and down. This man a family. Yo, Hrs. What's the Child Services? Yo, play this tape. You see this? I'm trying to be here for this job. I'm trying to keep this family. She's trying to tear it apart, man. Child Services, you gotta look at this. And you try to figure out who the baby's should go with. Look, you see? I'm. I'm trying to keep it together. She trying to.

[Chanel]

Yeah, you're definitely more fit.

[Eddie Huang]

She admitted she.

[Chanel]

Should we go show them your bong? You're definitely more fit.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Hey, I'm just kidding.

[Chanel]

No, but for real, it's freaking me out, though. It's freaking me out because at this point, if we're Both telling truth, which, like, there's a 50. 50 chance we are.

[Eddie Huang]

It's 100% true on my part.

[Chanel]

Then where did it go come from? Like, is there someone squatting in our house? I'm scared.

[Eddie Huang]

There's just, like, crusty draws.

[Chanel]

There's drama here. Or like, there's something creepy.

[Eddie Huang]

Should we bring them out? Should people see them?

[Taylor Takahashi]

I. I think we have it in.

[Eddie Huang]

An evidence trash can. I'm getting them.

[Chanel]

No, I really don't want to.

[Eddie Huang]

Yeah, whoever set me up needs to be responsive.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That was too good.

[Eddie Huang]

I'm getting these draws.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's so crazy that the. The. The boxers showed up. Like, that's. It's.

[Chanel]

I think. Well, I was like. I was like, are you doing that? I was like. Because he asked me. He's like, where did you get them? And I was like, why would I. I literally haven't left the house. Like, yeah, like, I leave the house to go, like, to a doctor's appointment. And he was like, I thought you had your mom go get them. And I'm like, where would I send my mom to go pick up used underwear? Like, oh, my God. And my mom's the one defending him. My mom's being like, he would never cheat on you. I just know it. She's like, he just. He loves you so much.

[Eddie Huang]

I'm like, I love your mom so much. Your mom knows, bro. Your mom wouldn't lead you wrong.

[Chanel]

I don't know. I think she just, like. I think she just doesn't want me to. She's like. She's like, don't be a single mom. She's like, that is hard. You know what I mean? Like, she was like, you know, I didn't do this. I did it. You don't want to do it.

[Eddie Huang]

And she was like, the only person that touches me Besides you is Dr. Drew. Seriously? Let's see. We got goodies for you. First is her drank bottle of Evian. Her aided bag, Greek chocolate. This is what's in the trash can. Let's take a look at this.

[Chanel]

These are the women's panties. I can't believe you're touching. You're too comfortable touching them.

[Eddie Huang]

Comfortable. I'm like, this. I'm like, doing a deadlift.

[Chanel]

Like, you have. You have cheated.

[Eddie Huang]

I have not cheated. You're not afraid.

[Taylor Takahashi]

That's an interesting. Julian.

[Chanel]

Cheated.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Wow.

[Eddie Huang]

Lion King circle of life.

[Chanel]

He was pretending like he doesn't like them, but he. Some girl wearing them.

[Eddie Huang]

No, no, no. Yo, hold on. This is her man's.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, damn.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, they Wore the out of this.

[Chanel]

And you know what? Eddie's sweaty because he knows I like old men.

[Eddie Huang]

Holding. That's like, he might be not even bouncing back. This got no bounce back.

[Taylor Takahashi]

It's a dead spot.

[Chanel]

You know, it's old. That old man has had those for a long time. That's what you. And that's how you know I am.

[Eddie Huang]

The youngest beef she's had. The other beef is, like, crusty or hiding. In other words, high. Hiding and hiding.

[Chanel]

Yeah, hiding in this house or like.

[Eddie Huang]

Air show these draws.

[Taylor Takahashi]

What? Oh, that's crazy.

[Chanel]

Yeah, that's a little crazy.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Those are crazy. Those are crazy.

[Chanel]

Not my man. Not mine. I was like, yo, that's your man.

[Eddie Huang]

Okay, that's your man today. That says a lot. It's consistent, too. Yo, it looks like the same size. You see what I'm saying? Like, yo, who is this dude? Dude? Yeah. Who is this? Looking like a black and white cookie in my trash can.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Your style is what? Damn.

[Eddie Huang]

Yo, it's the Oreo.

[Chanel]

I don't know. I think. I think what we come to is.

[Eddie Huang]

A new horror film I'm writing about the alien man in my house. My wife with two X's.

[Chanel]

See, he's trying to deflect because there is no alien man. It's just him.

[Eddie Huang]

Fine.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Another. Oh, my God. What a story.

[Chanel]

Yeah. So we don't know. We don't know.

[Taylor Takahashi]

We're gonna.

[Chanel]

I. And this is what I said. I'm happy to play dumb. It's fine. We'll play. We. I can act.

[Eddie Huang]

I'm happy to play.

[Chanel]

You know what I mean? Eddie, Eddie.

[Eddie Huang]

One thing.

[Chanel]

Eddie's great. He can make an actor, right? Like, he can create an actor. Like, I can act, too.

[Eddie Huang]

I got a SAG guard, yo. Yeah, I act the out.

[Chanel]

He has a SAG card. I have his credit card. It all works out.

[Eddie Huang]

Spencer reduced the limit.

[Chanel]

Spencer's gonna see this, and he's not going to do that. He's gonna be like, eddie, how's the pork chop?

[Eddie Huang]

How's the pork chop?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Way better than them draws.

[Eddie Huang]

This was a transition. This was a transition.

[Chanel]

No, don't let him get away from it, Taylor.

[Taylor Takahashi]

No, this pork chop is amazing. It's the sauce. Yeah, the sauce. And then I'm thankful that you gave.

[Eddie Huang]

Me, like, thank you. I see some particles from used underwear.

[Chanel]

It's Thanksgiving. He's like, I'm thankful for this. Please stop talking about this.

[Taylor Takahashi]

You go around the table. Huh? Huh? Panties.

[Chanel]

Huh?

[Taylor Takahashi]

Panties. I'm so thankful.

[Eddie Huang]

There's some two X's dick powder on there.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Oh, man. Oh, great. No, this pork chop is fire amazing.

[Eddie Huang]

I think that was the tasting note we needed. Thank you everybody for watching this week. I think that covers it. She. She left. She left. She left.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Exited the building.

[Eddie Huang]

She left the pot. She's going to meet up. The two exist, man. Outside.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Live. Oh, my God.

[Eddie Huang]

It looked like there was a manatee in those draws a manatee. Oh, hey, Wendy. What's up? We're trying to find the dude she's cheating on me with.

[Chanel]

Yeah, this is Wendy. Lets him in at night.

[Eddie Huang]

How to catch a predator.

[Chanel]

Sleeping.

[Eddie Huang]

How to catch a milf hunter. All right. Thank you, Tay. Thank you, bro.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Thank you.

[Eddie Huang]

You're the best.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Thank you, bro.

[Eddie Huang]

He got after the strike stuff to watch out. Wait, you know what? Watch out for him.

[Taylor Takahashi]

Thanks.

[Eddie Huang]

Well.