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- [00:00]
A
All right, Canal Street Dreams, welcome back. Another one on one pod. We're very excited. Like, we read a lot of the comments and it makes us happy that you guys listening want the, like, diving deep pods, talking about things that are, like, emotionally more difficult. Because I think that is what we like to do here. And what we think is the most important is it's not necessarily like therapy, but. But it's actually sharing what's going on instead of, like, commenting on pop culture. Because I feel like pop culture, TV shows, movies, these are like, ways for us to communicate and have a common language between people. But ultimately what you want is, like, closeness and intimacy and actual communication of feeling. And I think we're just going to continue to bypass pop culture and just, like, talk about it in our lives.
- [00:58]
B
Yeah, there's enough commentary on pop culture. And I think the thing that we can do is talk about our real lives. And if it comes up naturally and we're impacted by something that's a pop culture moment, that's cool. But I do think that the things happening in our real life are a bit more interesting.
- [01:17]
A
Yeah.
- [01:18]
B
For me and you to talk about. And then if, you know, everybody is more engaged with that, then let's go that route.
- [01:24]
A
Yeah. And then everyone, like, continue to leave comments, let us know.
- [01:27]
B
Totally.
- [01:28]
A
It's, like, very helpful. And this is like the one year anniversary of our pod.
- [01:32]
B
It is the one year anniversary of our pod.
- [01:34]
A
We've been doing it for a year. We've really enjoyed making this show for everybody. And like, I don't know, I feel like I've become a better person.
- [01:42]
B
Same. Like, I think there's been so much growth. I mean, if you look back on, like, our first episode where it was you and I talking about, I think the. The big thing we were talking about was like, bringing Senna home from the hospital and how we were, like, running from a fire a year ago and just our lives in that state into where we are now, like, we were shooting that at somebody else's bar, and now we're at Bauhaus, which is your restaurant. And just in a year, to have that amount of growth, just personally and in your career is incredible, truly, to see it, like, hats off to you. I'm very proud of you and what you've done and what you've built and what you've been able to do in a year, really, starting from ground zero, like, truly, like, metaphorically burned everything to the ground and started over. Yeah.
- [02:30]
A
And to me, it's funny. Like, I, like, I don't think about my career as much, even though I really appreciate it. For me, it's the journey that we've been documenting of, like, creating our own family.
- [02:44]
B
Yeah.
- [02:45]
A
Breaking up with my parents and just continuing to check in with each other about, like, where we're at in our relationship and our family. And I hope that's been helpful for people. And, you know, actually, you're correct. We have our family. We have our old families, but then we also have this new family at Bauhaus that's really fire.
- [03:12]
B
Yeah. Bauhaus is your identity and your DNA. And it's so apparent that it's so reflected back. And just like the people that work here, everything that goes on here is so in alignment with you and how in your standard of doing things and everybody here, I think that even just the servers in front of house, there's. And there's a feeling of everybody is doing better and wants to be better because we're all contributing to this life form that you've created. And it's. It's so collective, but it's also like everybody's trying to pay into this because it means so much to everybody and it is so special.
- [03:54]
A
Yeah. It's not just a restaurant. It is. We've created a world.
- [03:58]
B
Yeah.
- [03:58]
A
And I think when you step into this place, it's like a portal into somebody's, like, heart and mind. Not to be corny. Like, the art has been collected over 10 years. The photos are people's family photos. Like, we. The recipes are, like, from generations of family.
- [04:19]
B
Yeah.
- [04:19]
A
And I think the thing I started to notice with the staff was that everyone feels ownership of this place. And it's been very, very cool because recently we've been doing some shoots in here. And when people come and they do the shoots, they move the furniture around, they touch things. And literally every single person in the restaurant is protective of how the restaurant looks, how we take care of things, how dishes are fired, how drinks are made. And we had a shoot, and I got multiple complaints from people being like, yo, why are they touching that? Why did they move that? Why is it this way? And I was like, you know what? This is so annoying, but also affirming and awesome that everyone cares so much that, like, this world is never fucked with or watered down. And, like, you feel it, too.
- [05:14]
B
Absolutely. This is our house.
- [05:16]
A
Yeah.
- [05:17]
B
I think that's maybe not the feeling in a lot of restaurants, but this is our house. Like, I truly. Senna comes here, and even there's a. A painting by Devin Troy when You walk in, and that was in Senna's bedroom, his nursery, as a baby. And he will come in and say, that was in my room. That's my painting. And I'm like, yeah. And now it lives here. Because this is our house. It lives at the restaurant. And even just Senna, always, every day now, I want to go to mommy and daddy's restaurant. And I mean, it's your restaurant.
- [05:46]
A
He knows I work here. Stop it.
- [05:48]
B
And he just. He wants to be. It is his house. He feels that way now. It's like, truly embedded in everybody that works here. I think also feels this is my second home. This is my second family. This is my chosen family. And, like, everything means so much to everybody.
- [06:02]
A
Yeah. And, like, I haven't had best friends in a while.
- [06:05]
B
Yeah.
- [06:06]
A
Like, the last time I had best friends was like, in the original Bow House with like, my brother Evan and Raph and Steve. And we did everything together. And, like, everyone grew up and went their separate ways. Like, Steve lives in la, Raph lives in New Jersey, Evan. We don't really hang out with Evan like that. And like, recently it's been cool because, like, I genuinely feel my best friends is Alex and Ray. You know, like, Alex is the gm and, you know, we started at the flower shop and came over here together. And like, we just see eye to eye on how intense we are about, like, making sure it's the best experience for everyone that comes in. And then same with Ray. Like, ray is our CDC and all of us show up here at like 10am every day. We're not even scheduled. And everyone leave, like, I leave the earliest at like 8 to put Senna to bed. Ray leaves by like 9. And then Alex is here until like 11. And we do it again every day. Alex had two days off and his first text was like, it was the most blissful, like, best two days without you idiots. But I'm so happy to be back and work together. And it just is special. There is something. There's a special bond with the people you're creating art with.
- [07:28]
B
Yeah. And I think that there's this level of care here that is really special that I see amongst everybody. Everybody's constantly checking in, like, how did that go? How did this go? And it's not ever money related. It's not like, oh, how was. How was service last night? It's just like, how did the guests feel? How was the energy in the room? Who came in? Who was there? Oh, who? What was firing the most? What dish is really working? What are People eating. Like, everybody's so interested in the inner mechanisms and dynamics of this restaurant that work here, and that's really special to see. Even. I, like, every night you come home for bedtime, and I'm like, how was it? How was service? How was dinner? How was the energy in the room? Who. Like, that is really important to all of us. And it's very pres. That energy is present when you come in, even for lunch. Like, I love working the lunch service. I love. It's. It's so fun and fulfilling for me.
- [08:20]
A
We're part of something here.
- [08:21]
B
Yeah.
- [08:22]
A
It just feels like we're part of something.
- [08:23]
B
Yeah. And you've created this world alongside Alex and Ray, who feel like two people that are going to be in our lives forever. And even, you know, the guys in the kitchen, they're so inspired. Like, watching them come in with, like, a fish that they really. They're like, oh, I want to do this. This thing. And then watching them see it through to getting it on the menu or it being a special is also just really cool. And everybody's so passionate and so inspired here.
- [08:51]
A
Yeah.
- [08:52]
B
I will say.
- [08:53]
A
And I. I like. I love watching the camaraderie between Jasper and Jaden. Like, Jasper and Jaden is just, like, it's so ill because it's like, there's me and Ray, and then there's Jasper and Jaden, and then there's, like, a new bond developing between, like, Miguel and Ibrahim because there's, like, multiple shifts. And I remember we were, like, making the squid ink low main the other day, and I. I have to say, I think, you know, when we had the Bauhaus on Rivington, when we got a New York Times review, it, like, meant a lot to be, like, valeted and seen by the New York Times, which I really respect this time. You know, we had our New York magazine review, like, the second day, first day we were open, they came. It was fantastic. But the most affirming thing that's happened here is I was picking up the squid low main with Ray, and Ibrahim and Miguel were on the shift, and Ibrahim just offhand goes, this is like Kobe and Shaq, man. Because Ray and I were just picking up, like, different tripe dishes, making up things on the fly, and I looked, and I was like, thank you, bro. It means a lot. Like, it means a lot that the people in your kitchen respect your work. They like it. They like working here, and I'm just excited to see how far these cooks go. Like, I could see Jasper and Jaden in like, three to four years having their own spot. And, like, I'd like to help to set them up. I could see Ibrahim and Miguel doing their thing, like, set it up. And now that I'm 44 and I've seen so many cooks, like, grow up, it does bring a smile to my face. Like, there was a chef here named Jan who, like, opened Mineta Tavern, and he used to work with my friend Jeffrey Ryan Krieger and this guy named Jacques. And, like, Constance Wu was at this restaurant called west. And the people from that restaurant always bring up West. It was like, the seminal restaurant of their, like, adolescent early career lives. And it holds, like, a special place. This guy Jan has gone on to do incredible things, but the way he talks about west is like, how I hope Jaden, Jasper, Ibrahim and Miguel talk about Bauhaus when they're old. Like, that was the place we got to fully form. Yeah, we, like, formed, like, Voltron and did our thing. And, like, I think that's the thing Ray and I take the most pride in is, like, creating this place where one we put out fantastic food and people are growing as cooks and chefs.
- [11:18]
B
How does it feel for you to have matured from the early days of Bauhaus on Rivington and 14th street and get here now and have, I guess, the ability to see that in them? And then how does that kind of translate in a way that, like, now you're a mentor for them because you've. You've established yourself and now you get to step into this role where you can see talent in your cooks and kind of, you see the direction where they're going.
- [11:47]
A
It's really hard to, like, help anyone else when you don't love yourself or haven't are not proud of yourself yet. When I first opened Bauhaus, I knew that, like, I was ill with sauce and I had great ideas and I knew how to market a place. I knew how to run a business. I was nice with that. But, like, I would be embarrassed about my skills as a chef because, like, my name, I think, preceded my technical skills. Like, I think I had pretty good knife skills, but they weren't, like, nice, you know, Like, I wasn't doing Brunoise. I wasn't doing crazy knife cuts. I really just leaned on my ability to make fire sauce. But over 15 years, I've picked up those skills, I've refined my skills, and now I don't even think about it. I don't have insecurity. I can step into any kitchen and I know I provide value and I think because of that confidence, I'm now able to help dudes and. And the girls in the kitchen, too. Like, I'm able to help people and be there for them as a leader. And, you know, when Ray first came back from his vacation, he took, like, three weeks off. He cracked the whip. And when it was with me, it was all about creativity. New dishes, new ideas, growing, changing. Like, me, Jasper and Jaden were making a new dish, like, every day. And Ray came back and was like, guys, you're doing shit and it's fire, and, like, every pickup has changed, but, like, we need to tighten this and do this the same way every single time. And I was like, yo, it's fine, Ray. I've been bailing them out. And he's like, but they need to do it every time. And I was like, fair enough. And I gave Ray the space. Ray cracked the whip. And it was like a quiet, almost, like, somber week. When Ray got back, cuz he was just kicking so much ass. And Jaden and Jasper came to me and were like, yo, chef, do you think you could, like, yell at us and crack the whip like Ray does? Cuz it helps us. It keeps us in check. And I was like, that's not my job, you guys. Y' all are Ray's children. You know, Ray is the cdc. I'm not beating Ra's kids. When Ray's gone, it's like, grandpa's home and we doing fun shit. We're being creative. It's a great time. No one's checking if you wiped your ass. We're doing our thing.
- [14:23]
B
Candy for breakfast.
- [14:24]
C
Yeah.
- [14:25]
A
Yeah, but, like, Ray is your father, and daddy's home, and he's beating your ass now because these are things that you guys should have known yourselves. Your grandpa's not going to come and tell you. Ray has already told you. And then he went on vacation and. And because I wasn't beating your ass, you stopped doing it. So now you get your shit, right? And with Ray there now and then me over the top, it. It now all flows and makes sense because I'm Ray's guy to, like, bounce ideas off of, troubleshoot things, figure it out. We do the schedule together. We review performance together. But the only guy I'm, like, coaching and, like, working in that way with is Ray. And Ray does it with everybody else, and he's so fucking good at it.
- [15:11]
B
How do you think. Speaking of, like, a father dynamic, fatherhood has, I guess, lended itself to this new role at Bauhaus has changed you or I guess. How does this affect your role as a dad at home? Like, is there any influence either way?
- [15:31]
A
Yes. Especially when I view your mother coming. Because when your mom comes, it's almost like Senna, like, forgets everything.
- [15:39]
B
Yeah. He's just total disaster, in a sense.
- [15:43]
A
Yeah. Time of his life, and then we pick up the pieces after. But then I. I understand it through the dynamic of the restaurant with the guys. Like, yo, that time for Senna is really important. That time for Jaden and Jasper Ibrahim, just me and them fucking around, doing new stuff and, like, not worrying about, like, what Ray thinks. It's good.
- [16:04]
B
Yeah.
- [16:04]
A
It's really helpful. And then, like, I collected notes, I give them Ray, and then Ray does his thing. And when your mom leaves and it's just us, I think we lock in. We really do lock in. Yeah.
- [16:17]
B
That in real time. Hearing that kind of puts a lot of things in perspective to me because I think I can be hard on my mom when she comes, and we shouldn't be. Yeah. And I should. Maybe hearing that, I'm like, maybe I shouldn't be. I should just allow her to be grandma. But sometimes I do because I'm the one cleaning up the pieces. You're the one cleaning up the pieces after she leaves? Because my mom will come and she'll. She literally comes like Santa Claus. Like, she comes and there's three full bags full of toys and candy and chocolate and biscuits and all the things that Senna loves that I usually am. Like, we're not going to have that in the house. And then for, like, three to seven days, we're having cookies five times a day, and there's, like, all these new dinosaurs. And after she leaves every day, he's like, where's my toy? Where's my new dinosaur? When are you and I and, like, having to kind of get us back on track of, like, we don't have gummy bears for breakfast and we don't get a new toy every day. So I understand you in that sense, but it is important for him to wild out.
- [17:14]
A
He needs that. He needs that because that's when he gets to figure out who he is.
- [17:18]
B
Yeah.
- [17:19]
A
Cause when it's us, when it's Ray with the guys, it's like, you're gonna do shit the way Ray just told you to do this shit with Eddie. It's like, all right, yo, Jaden, what do you want to do? You want to bring us some fish and do a crazy tomato sauce? All right, let's try that. It's them getting to like, be them.
- [17:35]
B
Yeah.
- [17:35]
A
But then it's like, all right, enough of Jaden and enough of Jasper. Let's get back to Ray's protocol. Let's get back to Ray's system. And, like, I think when I come home now with Senna, I have really owned the role of. I wouldn't call it a disciplinarian, but being the dad that he needs. Like, I teach Senna a lot now. The concept of earning things like that is what I've been working with Senna on. He likes the wine. He just wants you to give him stuff. When your mom comes, it sets this rhythm and pattern that is, like, slightly difficult because she just gives him everything he wants. And when I come home now, I realize that, like, my role in this family is to reinforce boundaries, create a structure in a system. And, like, you want gummy bears, you want gummy worms. Cool. We're gonna create a path for you to earn that. And I've even told him that, like, eating vegetables, eating things with iron, which he's iron deficient, eating squidding pasta, eating beef. This is your job, Senna. This is your opportunity to earn gummy bears. And I really am trying to teach him business and responsibility as a man through literally, like, eating his food and then getting rewarded with gummy bears, which
- [18:55]
B
has worked for him. He's responded incredible to that. I think it started with the whole cans. We were like, you're gonna earn these whole cans. It's gonna take you a week. If you turn on your listening ears, you're gonna get your whole cans. And he did it, and he understood that, oh, this is a really great way for me to get exactly what I want. If I just listen and earn like you said, which has been. It's made my job a lot easier because I think there's just certain roles that if I were to do that, I don't think it would have worked. It wouldn't have been as smooth. But he respects you and really wants to do right by you. And with me, it's more emotional, and he has more needs physically with me and emotionally, like, he needs to feel safe, and I really fulfill that role. But he can now look to you for that. And I think that's balanced everything out really nicely and created just, like, a smoother rhythm at home.
- [19:48]
A
Yeah. And I'll say this with me and Ray is Ray only worked here, like, six days before going on vacation.
- [19:54]
B
Right.
- [19:54]
A
So, like, the reason why I didn't over reinforce protocol, and I would just, like, do the quality control of the food Myself was because I was like, I'm not sure yet what Ray wants from these guys, and I'm not going to break anyone while. While Ray is gone. Like, that would be the worst thing an executive chef could do is, like, breaking the cooks while the CDC or Sue is gone. Like, you have to respect that for the most part. This is that guy's kitchen. Yeah. And, like, I'm here, and I worked all the shifts for three weeks, but I was like, I'll make it to my standard, and I will save the day and I will fix the things, but I will wait for him to come back to coach the guys. With your mother, I think it's a similar thing where I get her instinct. This is her time to enjoy life with her grandchild, and she wants to do it to the fullest, and she indulges. But there will come a fork in the road where your mother will have to make a decision. Are you just going to keep doing it this way and disregard the protocols and structures that Natasha has in place, and that means you come fewer times a year? Because that literally will just be the solution. We have to minimize the amount of time because of the aftershock of it, or are you going to adjust and acknowledge that, like, there is a way to be this super fun grandma while not undoing the work that Natasha and Eddie are doing on an everyday basis? And that's the thing, like, I'm learning here in this kitchen is, you know, I've never just gotten to sit as the executive chef and have someone I trust to do things. Like, at the flower shop, I was there every day. I was doing the prep, I was doing the expo. I was making sauce, I was doing everything every day. Yeah. It is a skill to learn how to sit back and be like an executive chef and trust someone. Luckily, Ray is so fire that it's been easy to trust him. But now when I come in with ideas, I don't go to Jasper and Jaden first. I'm like, yo, let's do this shit. I go to Ray. Hey, here are my ideas for the summer menu. We've taken about three weeks working on the summer menu, just the two of us. No one else touches this shit. We then create a schedule for, like, when we're testing certain dishes. We do the order guide together. We decide who's picking it up, who's doing what, and it's like, really a team of two doing that. And then Ray, when he feels comfortable, gets to implement it. And I think that's the way I hope Your mother can work with us.
- [22:40]
B
Yeah, I think she can. I think the.
- [22:42]
A
I know she can.
- [22:43]
B
I think the thing that really kind of changed everything was the dinner we had at Borgo, which was hilarious. Like, we all were. Like, me and my mom were both, like, crying and, like, going out individually to, like, smoke cigarettes and, like, have, like, different. Like, it truly was, like, just a hilarious dinner. But. But I think the thing with my mom and I is that sometimes we don't have tough conversations, and sometimes we don't actually say the hard thing and we'll brush things under the rug. Maybe I'll say it nicely, and then nothing changes and whatever. And I think at that dinner, we both, like, snapped at each other. We came for each other's neck. Like, I was like, say it with your whole chest. Like. And then she said some shit that was real finally. And we. We got past this dynamic of beating around the bush. And I was like, this is what I need. She said what she needed. We understood each other. And I think she had come one time after that dinner, and she asked me before, hey, can I bring some books? Because I was like, enough with the toys. Like, he's. He's getting to a point where he's a little too old. He's understanding the dynamic. He's expecting it from people. He's becoming spoiled. That is something that I didn't want. I was very spoiled as a child, and it put me at a huge disadvantage and was a disservice to me as a person still in my adult life. I'm still recovering from these things. Actually probably wasn't aware of it until I became a mom. And she was like, I'm not gonna do that. Respected at this time was like, I'll bring an Easter basket. That's it. It was mostly full of books. I don't care. Anybody can buy him a million books. That, to me, doesn't matter. But it's like, these toys that don't mean anything. I'm like, it just. It doesn't mean anything to receive plastic dinosaurs. It's not going to change.
- [24:28]
A
Short hit of like, yo, look. Look what you got. And it's like, I think that I'm gonna say this, and I know Paula listens. So, yeah, I'm. I'm happy to say this. And, like, I think I have really good conversations with your mom. Yeah, we're, like, kind of similar in age. And, like, I see her and she sees me, and she's always rooted for us.
- [24:45]
B
Totally.
- [24:45]
A
So I, I. With. I. With your mom, she's the one grandparent involved in our lives. So I think that there is. And I talk to your mother about this at times. She really struggled as a single mother.
- [25:00]
B
Yeah.
- [25:01]
A
Solely being the only cop in the house.
- [25:04]
B
Totally.
- [25:05]
A
And I think she really resented having to be the only cop.
- [25:10]
B
Yeah.
- [25:10]
A
Because when you're the only cop, like, you don't get to enjoy your kid as much as there wasn't another man that was helping reinforce boundaries. Your mother, your mom had to do that. And from all accounts, you were quite difficult child.
- [25:24]
B
Yeah.
- [25:24]
A
And, like, needed a lot. And I think your mother really was conflicted with, like, preserving your relationship with her.
- [25:31]
B
Yeah.
- [25:31]
A
Still making sure you loved her, but then being the cop that you needed. And I think in your early adult life, what I know is you made a lot of complaints, like, I wish you were harder on me.
- [25:43]
B
Yeah.
- [25:43]
A
And I wish you were tougher. And, like, I think in your mother's head, there's a, like, slight resentment in wanting to strangle you of, like, dude, I fucking tried. And, like, it was a no win situation for her. It's so hard.
- [26:00]
B
Totally.
- [26:01]
A
And I think now to hear it from you being like, yo, mom, be. Don't be like, giving Senna everything he wants. It's making it hard for me because now I have to be tough on him. She's like, oh, now you know how it feels. And I think it is very difficult as a human to not be like, oh. And I think that's the one thing your mom is starting to curve.
- [26:23]
B
Yes.
- [26:23]
A
Because I did see it. Like, she would take a slight, unknowing, unaware enjoyment in your suffering being a cop and like, that as a human, like, we see it. Everyone's smart enough in this family. We see it. But, like, I think all you're asking her is like, I get it. I told you so. For sure, the we get the I told you so moment here. But as your daughter and as Santa's mother, I'm asking you help a brother out.
- [26:53]
B
Totally.
- [26:53]
A
Help a brother.
- [26:54]
B
And listen, I get, like, it's interesting becoming a parent. You understand your parents a little bit more in some ways. And then some things make less sense. Right. But I think to what you're saying, like, even sometimes when you come home and I can hear you in the other room, you'll be explaining something to Sunny. You're like, please just listen to mom. Like, when she asks you to do this, please just listen and have to look back. Even before my parents were divorced, my dad worked out of state. He was not home. My mom Was doing this from birth to 32 years old by herself. And, like, just sometimes when I have you, like, I can take a sigh of relief and just be like, God, thank you for saying that. Like, I'm not even in the room. I could just hear it from the other room, and I'm like, wow, to never have that. To never have another person just be like, maybe don't do that. Maybe let's just not do that. Change the whole day. Like, you getting him to eat breakfast. Sometimes I don't have to be there. Like, doing that for 45 minutes changes the whole dynamic and changes the whole day. So I can understand that.
- [27:51]
A
And I'm not even there much. I'm like, because of work, you know, I got marshmallows.
- [27:55]
B
Valid.
- [27:55]
A
I'm there for 90 minutes in the morning and about two hours a night. And for those three and a half hours, you got a partner.
- [28:01]
B
Yeah. And it really changes the dynamic. Helps the situation a lot. And it's just when it's two on one, you can really get done when it's one on one. Especially when you have a child who.
- [28:13]
A
Especially when you're the mom. Yeah.
- [28:15]
B
And Senate is just like, he's full of opinions. He's full of strong opinions. He's very resilient. He's gonna get what he wants. He's stubborn as. He's your kid. He's. He's our kid. He's very similar to how we are. Like, he doesn't take no for an answer.
- [28:32]
C
I want to give Eddie credit for a second, and I wonder if you agree with this too. Like, just outside looking in the little that I know, you seem like you're doing a lot more with the amount of time that you have with Senna. Like, you seem like you're showing up and being a lot more present and intentional.
- [28:49]
B
Absolutely.
- [28:50]
A
Thank you, guys.
- [28:51]
B
Absolutely.
- [28:51]
A
It means a lot. Like, I think what it is, is, and I'll give credit to Senna and Natasha, is that I think Senna is finally at an age where he can receive male communication and male energy. When they're like, little. Little.
- [29:05]
B
Yeah, bro.
- [29:06]
A
They just. They just need this. They need mom.
- [29:08]
B
They want mom.
- [29:09]
C
It's like, for my nieces and nephews, it's definitely an age thing, but I also think the presence thing is huge because when you're. When they're not used to having you around and having you locked in, like, even when you are around, you're thinking about work, you're not fully there. When you try to come in and be the man, it's like, who the fuck is this guy? Who the fuck is this guy? You know? So I think there's an acclimation period. Even if they are at the right age, there's an acclimation period. And it makes me really happy to see you again outside looking in. Just. Just have that relationship with them.
- [29:44]
B
It's beautiful.
- [29:45]
A
Thanks, man. It means a lot. And I think, like, Bauhaus is a big part of it, because I get, like, a physical work here, and I'm exhausted and I'm writing a lot less.
- [29:55]
B
But I have to say, it's a big part of it for him too, because he gets to come here, and it's not just. But I think previously your work, he didn't understand it. He didn't understand why Daddy's just on his computer. Daddy's what? Why isn't he doing this? He couldn't understand the concept of you writing a novel. He comes to Bauhaus, and he sees you in the kitchen, and he sees. Then the food comes out. And I explained to him, daddy cooks this. These are the. He makes the recipes. And he. He. This is our restaurant. The art from our house, he's responding to.
- [30:24]
C
Like, he sees what you command.
- [30:25]
B
He really.
- [30:26]
C
Your relationship with them too. It all makes more sense.
- [30:29]
B
Yes. It clicked for him. So coming here, and especially even now. For instance, this morning, we had a really amazing morning. We laid in bed together. We were watching his dinosaur show that he likes. Like, we were all hanging out while I was getting ready in the bathroom. They were in bed. I was popping out, and, like, he got to have us together before work. And then we were going. He was like, okay, you guys are going to the restaurant. I'll come to the restaurant later. I'll come. So, like, it clicks for him. He understands what you do, and he respects what you do. And he also is a part of it.
- [30:58]
A
Yeah.
- [30:59]
B
So he's really warming up to the idea of, like, what our life is and understanding it more.
- [31:07]
C
It's really. It feels like Bauhaus is, like, the missing piece of your family. It was in the way that you guys obviously have a place to live, but this is like, your home.
- [31:16]
B
Yeah.
- [31:16]
C
Brings you all together in a way that makes sense.
- [31:19]
A
Yeah. As a writer, like, I don't have co workers. I'm like, at a laptop alone. Yeah. I don't have friends, you know, and, like, there's no way to meet people.
- [31:29]
B
Yeah.
- [31:29]
A
You know, and, like, when you. You have a kid, the worst job, you could probably show your kids. Like, so I'M a writer. Like, what? This stinks. You know? Like, I remember they had me go to career day at his school because they're like, oh, you make TV shows? I'm like, so I'm a writer director. All the kids looked at the show. Like, I don't get it.
- [31:46]
B
Like, well, we showed them, like, an episode of Fresh off the Boat, and they were just like, cool. Which will be way cooler when he's older. Like, career day when he's like, seven is gonna be crazy. They're gonna be like, oh,
- [32:01]
C
podcast clips.
- [32:02]
B
Oh, yeah. Totally eating feet. Totally 100.
- [32:07]
A
But it's been working. It's been working. And, like, I. I do feel finally plugged in and, like, part of the fam. And, you know, I think there's a lot of maturity early on when I have a role. Like, I would blame your mom for displacing me because she had more of a role, but it's just like, this is just biology. This is what it is. Like as a dad, as a father, Your role early on in the kid's life is like, go make as much money outside.
- [32:33]
B
I mean, I will say, like, when Senna was born there, my mom was with us. It was like, my mom came, stayed with us. I'll let this pass. My mom came. She stayed with us for a month. And I will never forget it. My mom left to go back. She had to, like, go back to her life and work and whatever. And then there was maybe, like, four days. And then you left to shoot Vice is broke. And I was like, in our house alone with this baby, and I was freaked out. I didn't. I was just like, what the do I do? None of my friends have kids. Like, I can't. Like, what am I going to do? Invite my friends over to, like, drink while I have this baby? Like, what's going on? And I remember my mom told me. She was like. Because I was like, oh, this sucks. This is just, like, isn't what I envisioned for my life. And she was like, there's nothing for Eddie to do. Don't be mad at him. Let him go to work. There's nothing for him to do. She. When you're. When Senna turns two, he will be present in a meaningful way. Until then, there's really not much for him to do.
- [33:26]
A
And literally, that timing is correct.
- [33:27]
B
Yeah. And I just remember she told me that she was like, don't be resentful. Don't. Don't think about it. Like, this is the time your kid needs the mom. I Was breastfeeding exclusively on demand, like, for two years, essentially. She was like, what is he gonna do? Feed him? He eats off you. Like, what is he gonna do? Like, he wakes up in the middle of the night to feed with you. Like, there's nothing for him to do. Let him sleep. Let him make money. And I was like, okay. And it just worked for our family. That's what worked for us. And, like, it really is the case. I mean, now that's he's more independent. He even says all the time, he's like, dad's way more fun to play with. And I'm like, dad is way more fun to play with. I suck at playing. I don't want to play dinosaurs on the floor for six hours. I have 30 minutes of, like, d Dinos on the floor. You got endless minutes of dinos on the floor. That's how you bond. Like, dad and kid. You. They get oxytocin release from playing mom and kid. It's like taking care bought, like, emotionally being there, like, making the lunch, making the thing, being there at pickup, it's just a different role. And, like, what he needs from you, I could never give him, and what he needs from me is different.
- [34:32]
A
And now. Now this is when I will pivot the conversation to Alex, our GM in the front of the house. Who you work with. You're on his team. You're on the FOH team. Ye y. Alex does things that Ray and I literally cannot. We cannot. Like, we can serve. We can bring food. We can serve food. We can tell people everything and every dish. But when people are like, yeah, you know, this was a little too spicy, or like, you know what? I don't love this dish. I'm like, what'd you just say? Like, what? Like, I had to leave on Sunday night because people sent back dishes that were prepared exactly how they were supposed to be prepared. But because the server wanted to sell, like, a steak, they told these people that the preparation was more in line with what the customer wanted. Ultimately, it came out the way the kitchen does it, and they were disappointed, and they sent the steak back. And I was like, I can't deal with this. Yeah, I cannot. I can't deal with this because I did my job, and I'm going home. And me and Ray were just, like, arms up in the air, and Alex, like, go home. Go home. This shit's not for you.
- [35:33]
B
Can I say something too? To the. To liken it to parenthood. I feel like at the restaurant, you're mom and I'm Dad, Like, I get to have fun playing dinosaurs. Like, sometimes, like, even just with the front of house, like, someone will be like, oh, here's the new wine. And da, da, da. And like, I'm just like, yeah, I'm not. I'm just going to say it's mineral forward. Like, like, it's just like, I can have fun with the front of house. We all can laugh and joke and I don't need to be so serious. I don't. Alex is there to be mom and keep everyone so disciplined. I'm just like, hey, I'm here to have fun with everybody else. I'm here to, like, play. I'm here to have a good time.
- [36:09]
A
I'm like, chasing dishes in the dining room. Yeah, it's missing fried shallots on the top. Like, what? Nobody. Nobody cares.
- [36:15]
B
We had the bathhouse dinner a couple weeks ago or like, I guess literally last week. And I worked, which I was really nervous about because I've been working lunch shifts and lunch shifts are very manageable. Like, Alex is here to help me. You're here. Like, it's. It never gets overwhelming for me because it's not a full, seated, already bought out dinner where every single table, every single seat is full. So that dinner, I worked and I was like, immediately there was a line around the block. Like, we were all inside waiting to open the door. The line was down the block and I was like, my heart was in my ass. I was like, oh, my God, why the did I agree to work this? Like, I don't. I was like, I can't even remember what's on the menu. I'm. How am I going to remember drink orders? Like, how am I going to. I was like, I'm going to need to write everything in my phone. Like, I was just like, oh, my God. I'm going to be the sole reason this is a failure. Like, I will fudge this up. And, you know, you're, like, doing it. Like, I haven't. I haven't worked a dinner service anywhere in over 10 years. So I think just by the end of it to seeing how well Alex has just managed everybody and made it so, like, it's impossible for anybody to fail. Like, the team works so well together and it is such a unit that, like, at the end of it, he was like, you did great. You were fine. And I was in my head the entire time. Like, I have ruined everything. I fucked everything up. Yeah.
- [37:41]
A
And I think if there's a lesson in this experience and in this episode, it is find your people. Join the tribe. Be a part of a world that you believe in, but once you find your people and your team, don't keep score. Yeah, like, I never keep score of, like, how many hours Alex is here, what he's doing. Neither do I. With Ray, I'm just like, the three of us are the core team. We trust each other. And I cannot do what either of you does. None of us can do what the other person does. And, like, it's awesome. And it's the team, and we will never break up. Like, for real. Can never. Will never. This is, like, the squad. Truly, I have such a deep appreciation for what everybody does here.
- [38:30]
B
Yeah.
- [38:31]
A
Awesome episode. And it's us at home, too. I can't do what you do.