100: TANA’S STALKER IS BACK…

Summary

Cancelled Podcast Episode 100: "TANA’S STALKER IS BACK…"

Release Date: November 2, 2024
Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield
Guest: Amari

In this landmark 100th episode of "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield," the hosts delve deep into a mix of personal anecdotes, pop culture insights, and pressing personal issues. From playful cosplay segments to serious discussions about stalking and drug awareness, the episode offers a comprehensive look into the lives of Tana, Brooke, and their guest, Amari.

---

1. Cosplay Chronicles

The episode kicks off with an entertaining segment where Tana and Amari showcase their elaborate cosplay outfits, taking on the personas of Trisha Paytas as King Tut and Moses Hackman as Malibu Barbie.

• Tana Mongeau [01:14]: "I am Trisha Paytas as King Tut. It's so funny..."
• Amari [02:40]: "You honestly look like me after, like, two shots in a Xanax bar."

This playful transformation sets a lively tone, highlighting their camaraderie and creative expressions.

2. Reflections on Live Shows and Fan Interactions

Tana shares heartfelt memories from her live performances, particularly an emotional moment at the Dolby Theater where she felt a sense of redemption.

• Tana Mongeau [10:29]: "When I was hosting the Steamies and got drunk on that stage, I never thought there'd be a world where I'd ever be on that stage again..."

She recounts receiving a deeply moving fan letter that underscores the profound impact her interactions have on her audience.

• Tana Mongeau [12:43]: "She wrote, 'you changed my life. You were the first person to ever root for me on my team and I would not be here without you.'"

3. House Hunting and Haunted Lore

Amidst their touring schedule, Tana discusses the challenges of buying a home in LA, intertwining tales of haunted houses and eerie histories.

• Tana Mongeau [18:45]: "I'm touring houses right now... And I have to care about so many other things when you're buying a house."

She narrates her experience with a 1920s Spanish house linked to the Comedy Store, mentioning celebrities like Jim Carrey and Robin Williams who once stayed there.

• Tana Mongeau [22:39]: "Jim Carrey crashed there. Robin Williams crashed there..."

The conversation deepens as they explore the mysterious tunnels beneath Hollywood, adding a layer of intrigue to the podcast.

4. Pop Culture Pulse

The hosts transition to discussing significant pop culture events, including the resentencing of the Menendez brothers and the intricacies of celebrity breakups.

• Amari [29:25]: "They were originally sentenced to life without parole, now eligible for parole..."

They also touch upon the recent breakups of celebrities like Zach Bryan, analyzing the public's reaction and the implications on personal relationships.

5. Personal Mishaps and Humorous Tales

Injecting humor into the episode, Tana and Amari share personal stories ranging from self-tanning mishaps to dealing with dandruff and embarrassing period incidents.

• Tana Mongeau [60:07]: "I have the worst dandruff in the world. You could rack up lines of it."
• Amari [44:19]: "I told this kid I was going to shave his mustache in the shower one time. Now I'm known as ball shaver Schofield."

Their relatable and humorous anecdotes provide a lighthearted break from the more intense discussions.

6. Addressing the Stalker Situation

A significant portion of the episode centers on Tana's ongoing struggle with a stalker who has recently intensified his efforts.

• Tana Mongeau [89:43]: "I'm touring houses and I have someone sitting outside my house with a Glock 9 right now."

She details disturbing interactions and the emotional toll it takes, emphasizing the importance of personal safety and mental well-being.

7. Drug Awareness: The Dangers of 2 CB

The hosts shed light on the severe dangers of the drug 2 CB, often mistakenly referred to as "pink cocaine," discussing its harmful effects and the misconceptions surrounding it.

• Tana Mongeau [42:09]: "2 CB is like the equivalent to doing Molly, ketamine, hallucinogens..."

They stress the need for awareness and caution, particularly among their young and impressionable listeners.

8. Concluding Thoughts: Personal Growth and Future Endeavors

As the episode wraps up, Tana reflects on her personal challenges with organization and minimalism, sharing her journey toward self-improvement.

• Tana Mongeau [53:29]: "How do people get dressed without killing themselves? How do you do your makeup?"

They discuss future topics and express heartfelt gratitude to their fans, reinforcing the intimate and candid nature of the show.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Tana Mongeau [01:14]: "I am Trisha Paytas as King Tut. It's so funny..."
• Amari [02:40]: "You honestly look like me after, like, two shots in a Xanax bar."
• Tana Mongeau [10:29]: "When I was hosting the Steamies and got drunk on that stage..."
• Tana Mongeau [12:43]: "She wrote, 'you changed my life...'"
• Tana Mongeau [18:45]: "I'm touring houses right now..."
• Amari [29:25]: "They were originally sentenced to life without parole..."
• Tana Mongeau [60:07]: "I have the worst dandruff in the world..."
• Tana Mongeau [89:43]: "I'm touring houses and I have someone sitting outside my house with a Glock 9 right now."
• Tana Mongeau [42:09]: "2 CB is like the equivalent to doing Molly, ketamine, hallucinogens..."

---

Conclusion

Episode 100 of "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield" offers a rich tapestry of topics, blending humor, personal struggles, and critical discussions. Through engaging storytelling and candid conversations, Tana and her co-hosts provide listeners with an intimate glimpse into their lives, making the podcast both relatable and enlightening. Whether discussing the lighter moments of cosplay and personal mishaps or delving into serious issues like stalking and drug dangers, this episode stands as a testament to the show's evolution and depth.

Transcript

[Tana Mongeau]

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[Brooke Schofield]

Water damage is no joke did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000? Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] no joke Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, WA hello and welcome back.

[Tana Mongeau]

To the canceled podcast.

[Amari]

What were you gonna say?

[Tana Mongeau]

I glitched so hard.

[Amari]

I. I know. Wait, what other podcast would you were you going to say?

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know. This is the only one I have.

[Amari]

Oh, maybe you were welcome back to just Trish.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, that's exactly what happened. That's exactly what was happening. For the visual listeners, Tana is dressed up as Trish.

[Amari]

I didn't have time, so I didn't dress up.

[Tana Mongeau]

I am Trisha Paytas as King Tut. It's so funny. I thought that just for some reason I assumed that she just had like a normal makeup on. And then I go to the video and it's like pink and bedazzled and you were like 10 minutes away and I was like gluing. Right.

[Amari]

Honestly, amazing though. Also, I noticed that the dog downstairs is bedazzled. Was that you?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, that was Ashley. We were just deciding that Winnie also wanted to be quartet.

[Amari]

Yes, of course, of course.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then we also have. As if this wasn't enough. First of all, you look amazing as Moses.

[Amari]

Thank you so much. It's not the most comfortable situation. I don't know if I could survive in the wild with a beard, but it'll do for the day.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's weirdly like it. Like, you look good. Like if I just.

[Amari]

Are you attracted to me?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I'm weirdly really attracted to you. I'm not even kidding. Like, if I just met you and you looked like this, I would be like, that's hot. And I don't know why that is so nice.

[Amari]

I'm like, careful.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I wish more men looked like girls.

[Amari]

Ain't that the truth.

[Tana Mongeau]

Speaking of, we also have Amari as Malibu Barbie, can you please come show us your look?

[Amari]

I'm stretching out my smile so that I can laugh this episode. I love it.

[Aaron]

Where my mic at?

[Amari]

I love when you use.

[Tana Mongeau]

Amari will be back in a little bit for his debut as Malibu Barbie. You honestly look like you look like me after, like, two shots in a Xanax bar. Like, you look like. I hate people. I love them. Like, you really do. And then we have Amish Aaron as Elvis. Wait, Aaron sweating.

[Amari]

It's genuinely fabulous. Like, if I didn't know better, I would think you were him.

[Tana Mongeau]

So we are the entire Paytas Hackman family today for this episode of Canceled, which is so iconic to me. Paige was going to be Elvis, and then she dropped out last minute. So I honestly feel like Aaron is Elvis is so fitting.

[Amari]

It's so fabulous.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is so fabulous. I am so excited for today's episode of the podcast, though. I feel like I have so many good topics and I'm going to be clipped galore.

[Amari]

Okay. At least you look gorgeous. I have a. I have a mustache and beard.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so weird because I think you look gorgeous. Like, I look a little crazy. Like, only Trisha can really pull this off.

[Amari]

No, it's like, you genuinely look, like, beautiful.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so nice. Like, I just not. This is definitely not how I feel my most. Speaking of not feeling my most, I have to immediately tell you something.

[Amari]

Oh, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

Obviously, last night I was like, oh, I need to self tan. Like, if I'm gonna be Trisha Paytas. This King Tut, I have to self tan. I have to give the full fantasy.

[Amari]

Right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Of course. I noticed that I'm out of my regular Isle of Paradise. Okay. So now I'm like, okay, we're trying a new self tan. I'm automatically in murky territory. I ended up using the Isle of Paradise oil version of what I normally use, so. And it ended up, like, looking fine. It's kind of translating on camera. A little wonky. Oscar's been putting a filter on us too. That looks like Outer Banks.

[Amari]

I'm gonna have to talk about that in a second.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you keep going, so it's fine. Okay. I wake up, I'm like, all right, it's a little footy on the hands. It's a little whatever. And obviously, a while ago, I used to self tan all the time. And every time I would finish self tanning, I would notice the next day that the bottom of my feet look as though I. I don't even know.

[Amari]

You've been walking the streets. Barefoot, yes. For like six weeks straight.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I could never figure out why. I was like, it's so weird. It gravitates to my feet. And then one day on tour, I was self tanning in a hotel room and you were like, bro, like you're spraying it all over and then you're stepping on the floor, right? So then I've been trying to be more mindful of like doing it on top of a towel, like, whatever it is, you know? And for some reason last night I was just high as I wasn't feeling self tanning anyways. You know, it's a whole journey. And I was like, whatever. Sometimes I skip that part and I'm just down to accept what's happened to my feet. Right. This one I've you.

[Amari]

What's crazy about this is you're about to show me something I noticed 20 minutes ago.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but you need to see it in full. Brooke. Amber. Brooke. Amber. Brooke. Brooke. Brooke. Brooke.

[Aaron]

Brooke.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're lying. You're lying.

[Amari]

I'm literally. There's a tear in my eye. Wait, that's so. That's a nice, like, bottom of your foot though, because that means you got a crazy arch to your foot. I'm flat footed. That would have been just like one solid block.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, no, but the thing is, it's like I thought, I think I'm getting flat footed. I'm finally getting to the bottom of my foot journey.

[Amari]

I think that's why. I think someone said that I think that's why your feet are growing, is.

[Tana Mongeau]

Because they're like, the arch is slowly going away. I think that's why I'm going up so many shoes.

[Amari]

But that is easily the, like, worst thing I've ever seen.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, no, it's so bad. And I scrubbed them today too. Like, this is on there.

[Amari]

Wait, but it's like, how did that happen with the oil version? You're not even spraying anything.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have. No, no, you're spraying an oil. Oh. Oh, you're spraying an oil. I have no idea how I'm gonna take feet pics this month. The lights are going off.

[Amari]

Oh, baby. I don't. I. I don't think they want to see that to be honestly.

[Tana Mongeau]

Maybe they do.

[Amari]

The sun they're getting, they're pretty freaky to feed people.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, like, maybe that's like somebody. I'm hoping. It's so bad though. I screamed at the top of my lungs this morning. And imagine Makoa. Like, I just feel like I've been doing so many things Where I'm like.

[Amari]

That would have been my final straw.

[Tana Mongeau]

100. Like, you know, Makoa was just standing like, what? And then this. He told me I was sexy as King Tut. You are.

[Amari]

I don't understand what you're saying. You look so cute. But this might must be how you felt when you were telling me I looked good in my Ronald McDonald costume. Nobody was sexy.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you know what's funny? You know what I love about you is like so against sexy Christmas. So against sexy Ronald McDonald. So down for beard as Moses Hackman.

[Amari]

I love it. But you know what? I've actually done this look once before because I was Billy Ray this year.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, shoot, I forgot about that.

[Amari]

For BB's birthday party.

[Tana Mongeau]

What were you just gonna tell me about?

[Amari]

We were gonna talk quickly about what Oscar did to me in the last episode. I think it was Oscar because I refuse to believe that I did my own self that dirty. But like I was so. I think he put an outer Banks filter on us.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, because everything was like greener too. Like, like our house doesn't. It doesn't look like saturated. Yeah, like it just. It doesn't look like that.

[Amari]

But everybody thought I did orange makeup to match my pumpkin hat, which like, like, okay. But it didn't. But anyway, this is my natural skin color and I'm really leaning into it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Because me talking about the bottom of my feet.

[Amari]

Well, I don't self tan just like looks so bad on me for some reason. And I like try all the time. I've tried everyone. Island paradise I love, but I love it when I'm already like a little bit tan. When I'm really pale like this. There's nothing that can fix it. So I gotta just lean in.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think it's good to lean in. Like I have such a, like self tan. Like it's antidepressants therapy. If I feel awful about myself. One coat of that orange and I'm like, oh my God, I'm a hadith.

[Amari]

Honest to God though, I've never looked like, okay, with the exception of maybe your hands and feet, I've never looked at you and thought like, oh, her tan looks like, ever.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is just like such a nice lie.

[Amari]

No, I actually mean it because I have one friend off the top of my head that I can name that I want to literally like shake her and say, never, ever, ever get a spray tan.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know exactly who you're talking about. She's got to stop. You're so right.

[Amari]

She needs to be.

[Tana Mongeau]

But who the am I to be talking about anybody. Stan Wo. I love my own body. I was like, wait, sorry.

[Amari]

I'm trying to adjust so that I can smile in this episode because I already like have been giving bad vibes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do you can also just let them know off rip that you're. You're so happy.

[Amari]

I honestly am so happy.

[Tana Mongeau]

I really do want to look like this all the time.

[Amari]

Like I know you look amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just love cosplaying anything Trisha does. Like I might just run it up for the next 10 episodes. Like Tavern Girl, whole nine. Like I just. When I feel like she does, she.

[Amari]

Doesn'T like wait for Halloween to cosplay. She'll just cosplay every day of the week.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so true. I think I might be like picking up that trait soon because it does bring me a type of joy that I cannot express.

[Amari]

It is so fun. I've never actually like full blown cosplayed somebody.

[Tana Mongeau]

Your beard is just so good.

[Amari]

What about it?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I'm serious. This is the most sexually attracted to you I've ever been. Maybe it's because I'm feeling Trisha E though too like in your Moses. So I'm like me.

[Amari]

You're really getting into character.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I love that.

[Amari]

I love water. Water. He loves water, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, he loves. That's good.

[Amari]

Nailed it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Amari. Just sitting here in platform heels like out is so me. I guess before I get into all of my topics, we should talk about our LA shows. Yay. They were so amazing.

[Amari]

I cannot believe that happened. It's so crazy because we were home for the last episode that we filmed so I was like, that's weird. Like cuz now we're home from tour again, but so crazy. So amazing. Dolby Theater.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just. When I was hosting the Steamies and got drunk on that stage, I never thought there'd be a world where I'd ever be on that stage again and be able to redeem myself. Like I thought that would just be my final memory of the Dolby.

[Amari]

What a great man. What a.

[Tana Mongeau]

And Trisha is just. I can't wait for her live show in December. She's so. I'm so creepy. Imagine being Trisha, like seeing me like talking about.

[Amari]

I love it so much.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like she is just so fucking made for live performance. Her performing shallow. When we got home that night, he didn't know like the shallow lore and so I like updated him and I was literally moved to tears. Like the fact that like she performed it live on stage with us and Just fully committed was so fudge.

[Amari]

I know she really, like, like jumped into character and she was so. It's so interesting, like, Trisha, because I feel like she genuinely has, like. Like she doesn't truly understand how much people love her. And she always. She's like, what if I go out there and like, people don't know who I am? And we kept telling her, like, Trisha, like, we have like a little tidbit in the beginning of our show where Trish is in it and the crowd goes so crazy every single time that it's like we can gauge how good a crowd is going to be or how loud a crowd is going to be based on how loud they cheer at that, like, moment. Because that's like they. We know they're going to scream.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I always say that it's like it's our Hail Mary. Like, if I'm on stage in like Springfield, Missouri, and I, like, forget a part of my story and like, the crowd goes silent, like, I'm turning to that audience and say, I love Trisha Paytas. Exactly. Every single time. Even when I was going through some stomach issues and had to run off stage to use the restroom, I could hear from the restroom, you going, so how do y'all feel about Trisha Made it Like, it is just so. It was such a full circle moment to have her, like, close out the show. Like, it is something I'll never fucking forget my entire life.

[Amari]

And it was just so amazing and just the way she was received, like, literally, I don't think they stopped cheering for like 10 minutes straight.

[Tana Mongeau]

It was so. And all the people in just Trish shirts, like, seeing their faces, it was.

[Amari]

I know. Because no one knew she was coming. And so many people just had like, love Trisha Paytas.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And it was like, it just like, I wish we could bring her out for. For every show because it's like it was so special. And I do just want to say, now that tour is done, I hate going on this whole emotional tangent while I look like this right now. But it's like, I'm just so grateful for our fans. Like, genuinely, like, this girl wrote me a letter. I took a photo of it way at the Los Angeles show and let me find it. Hold, please. I'm sorry. She just wrote this whole thing saying, like, I met you in Portland six years ago. And she said, I was 14 and you were 20. We locked eyes and for the first time in my short life, you weren't looking through me like through a screen. First time Feeling the warmth of being seen as a person and not just a problem. I felt real and important. You looked me in the eyes, held my shoulders tight, and reminded me how loved I was. You didn't let me leave until you knew my name and made me smile. Like all this stuff. And she just like went on this whole, no, I know, I know, I know, I know. She said, I'm unsure if our paths will ever cross again. And I need to thank you in this life. You changed my life. You were the first person to ever root for me on my team and I would not be here without you. Tana and I'm sure many other fuck ups and losers relate and like all this stuff and I just like, that.

[Amari]

Makes me like literally want to sob. I know my beard off, I'm gonna lose my mind.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's just like knowing that people feel that way at all is so crazy to me. Like crying in the Moses. Is it just.

[Amari]

No.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know.

[Amari]

So sweet. And like, what a way with words she has.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. It was such a beautiful letter and I was like, you're not a up, you're not a loser. Like, I had to message her after and just tell her like, how much I love her, but I don't know, like, knowing that all these people are in this room every night and everyone kind of has that in common, right? Like, they maybe say what's on their mind and they don't feel like they fit in because of it or people who genuinely knowing I've ever changed one person's life, right, is like, mind blowing. And like, I don't necessarily know if I'll ever like, believe it to that extent, but it's just like, I just want to thank my fans like, so fucking much because it's like I really wish I could go in every single one of those people's minds and they could understand that, like, I would not be alive if it wasn't for them. And just like coming off this tour, really looking back at like being in all those rooms every night, like, filled with so many people who like all have something in common and just. I don't know, dude. Like, I just was the past like, week, now that it's over, like, I'm so sad. I want to go back out immediately. Like the. It's so true. Like the low after tour, like just being with that many fucking people who love you and that you love back as much. Like, I can't believe that was real. And I just like, I just want to thank my fans Our fans again and again and again. Like, holy fucking shit. I cannot believe that was real. And if you told fucking little Tana who was suicidal sitting in front of her dirty door in her horrible house that, like, it would get better and we'd be playing the Dolby fucking Theater. Like, that's. And I just hope that, like, I know that we're never putting our role model inspiration hats on. Like, I'm not. I don't want to be a role model in so many ways. You know, as I say, as King.

[Amari]

Tut, but, like, I'm still crying as Moses.

[Tana Mongeau]

So I hope we can serve as an inspiration to people that if you're in a bad spot of your life, like, you can turn everything around and, like, you will find people who love you for you and, like, you can be yourself, even if it's like, I don't know, Like, I just remember, like. Like the girl in those Story Time videos was a. The weird kid. I don't know, just everything I would say, I was always the outspoken, spoken, outlier weird kid. And I found this family of people who love me for me. And I just hope other people can, like, do the same thing. I don't know. I don't mean to go on such an email.

[Amari]

I have. I've had a whole existential crisis about it, like, since I've been home because it's like, it's such a special experience. And, like, in the moment, of course, you realize how special it is. But, like, when you finally get home and it's, like, quiet, and you're like, oh, my God, like, I can't believe I did that. And, like, I just. I think of, like, 20 years from now when we're, like, with our kids and we're like, no, seriously, like, this happens.

[Tana Mongeau]

They're like, mom, you're so lame. Like, there's no way, like, you're making this up.

[Amari]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tana Mongeau]

So true.

[Amari]

So, like, it's so cool. And I'll never, ever, ever get over it. And I want to tour forever, but.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I mean? Like, it's. I think it's like you walk out on stage and you hear these screams and you see these big crowds, and when you start doing that every night, it's very easy if you don't make your. If. If you're not actively trying to make yourself present. It's easy to just fall into that role and understand, yes, that there's thousands of people in front of you. But I think it's little things like reading that one letter and knowing that like, she, that one girl in the crowd felt that way and like that all of those people feel some type of way, like, the fact that there's anyone who's willing to spend money to come, like, see this in person, like, that it means that much, I just, I just cannot believe. And I just want to thank anyone and everyone who came. Like, you have no idea how much that, like, really meant to me. Like, I just.

[Amari]

To both of us. But no, like, you're saying it's easy to like, dissociate sometimes because sometimes I'm like so overwhelmed by it and like, because it is so like, emotional and crazy that I literally have to completely like, like remove myself from it. But I like, meet and greet, for example, is like the best thing to help with that. Because it's like, like if I'm feeling that way, the second we like start meeting people and stuff, it's like, oh my God, these are like, this is like so crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

And just like, even just like the amount of girls that come into the meet and greet, like, fucking hysterically sobbing, like, and I'm always immediately like, I'm so sorry for everything I'm said. I'm so sorry that you feel raised by me. But like, it's like I just think about how I feel. Like people I would cry meeting knowing anyone. Like, you're being.

[Amari]

You're being like Trisha right now, where you're like not acknowledging that like literally the whole world is obsessed with you.

[Tana Mongeau]

You are so nice. It's. I guess it's just that. That comes with being polarizing, right? Because it's like if I was someone that just everyone like, mass widely loved. But I just guess like, knowing that so many people hate me too, I think it's good for me because it keeps me so.

[Amari]

But it's like, I don't. You should. You tell me this all the time, but like, you shouldn't be focusing on that over the people who love you. And I think that's what Trish does too. Probably she just like thinks of those people as like the public.

[Tana Mongeau]

But just, I guess seeing people who love you that much in so many rooms. I don't know. I don't want to make this the whole podcast because we do have a million topics. But just even. Just the people watching at home, like, even if I never meet you and you never come to a show or you never comment on anything or anything, just like the fact that you give a at all about me, like, and her and our lives and I just can't thank you enough. I love you so much. And if you feel like I saved your life in any way, just know you saved mine, okay?

[Brooke Schofield]

Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000. Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] no joke. Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm touring houses right now, right? And it's just. It's so hard. This is exactly. Everyone's like, why don't you own property in la? Like, I'm like. And I've always just been like, I would rather keep the money in my bank account and rent because it is so fucking difficult. I've toured 20 houses in the past five days. There is something wrong with every single one of them. And you have to care about so many other things when you're buying a house versus renting. Like, what school district is nearby so that it's like, is it profitable or not? Is a. If you ever want to sell it or rent it, is someone going to want to buy this house? You know what I mean? If it's by a freeway, you're fucked. If it's, you know, the roof, the foundation, the fucking fire insurance and everything, it's just adulting to a new level that is so overwhelming. And so I'm obviously trying to find something that I love, but also something that is profitable, Right?

[Amari]

Yes, of course.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love your mustache.

[Amari]

I'm sorry. It's like kind of going like a little rogue.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's okay. I fell in love with this fucking house. I'm so fucking in love with it. It's so beautiful. But it's on a major street. I will never sell it for a dollar more than I can buy it. So now I'm just. It's sad to have to go tour other houses when I have this one I love.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And if it was for rent, I could just rent it, it wouldn't matter. And I can't have it for a reason. That's, like, so upsetting to me. But obviously I am also trying to find something really safe, like gated community. Like, just so safe. Because I need to tell you something about my stalker that I'll tell you after this. So I go tour this house today, right? And it's in Hollywood Hills and it is just like the prime location. Okay. Very Oppenheim group. Like, I feel like Christine Quinn would have sold Me, this fucking house, okay? And it's just beautiful. Old. Like, Spanish, right? And it's in the Hollywood Hills. I guess I can say where it is, because I'm not fucking buying it. Okay? It is directly above the Comedy Store. Like, it's like, you only go, like, right up the hill. Okay, Me with binoculars.

[Amari]

And, like, no, he's my next victim.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so in that way. Like, it's like you're right above all the billboards on Sunset Strip. It's so. So. Okay. And it's weird because I'm in the car with Ashley, and we're driving there, and I was saying to her, I was like, this is gonna sound fucking weird, but before I buy a house, not only am I going to have inspectors obviously come and all of those things, but one of my mandatory things I'm going to do is have a medium come. Like, I just, like, did somebody die here? Is this weird vibes? Like, I've lived in houses that I believe were haunted, and I never want to again. Like, I think Alomar was so fucking haunted. Like, And I just really. Yes. Like, just. I could go into detail. Like, we lived in that house in Sherman Oaks, like, three years. Like, shadow people walking through the windows. Granted, I was on drugs.

[Amari]

And you painted your bedroom walls black.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think that's the thing, is that I was in a, like, yeah. Space. I was in an attachable head space. But then the house just. And there were weird little dungeoning parts of the house that just scared. I don't know, whatever. So I was like, I'm not gonna buy something and live in it for five years without having a medium roll up, pull up, pull up, and wreck me turn a lot. And so we pull up to this house right after I'm saying that, right? And we walk in, and the vibes are just so off. And the house was built in 1920, and it's just scary. I'm like, it's beautiful. It's like Spanish overlooking all of Hollywood. Like, it's beautiful. But I'm like, what? Like, what's dad here? Right? Who died here? And so then the girl trying to show us the house, she lets us know. She was like, this house has so much history. So essentially, the people who bought the Comedy Store, when they bought it in, like, the 80s or whatever, whoever was selling the Comedy Store, just threw in this house as well. And so then this house ended up being a crash pad for, like, all up and coming. Like, like, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams lived in the house.

[Amari]

So people who are doing the Comedy Store.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Like. Like the Comedy Store. People owned it. So, like, whenever someone was doing the comedy stuff.

[Amari]

Mom.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, yes.

[Amari]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

So she owns that house. She owned that house before she died. And, like, their family still owns it. That's who's selling it. Right?

[Amari]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

And so Jim Carrey crashed there. Robin Williams crashed there. If you Google the house, there's so many drug stories, crazy stories, like, all this fucking shit about legends, fucking legends, right? And so she's just telling me more about it, right? We get down to the room that they've now turned into the master bedroom, okay? And we're walking through, like, on the floor, and it's hollow. Like, I'm. You know what? I. You know when you're walking on a floor and you feel like there's something under it, right? And she's like, okay, I have to let you know this. And I just saw a TikTok about this shit. Okay? Have you been getting tagged in this TikTok?

[Amari]

I saw it, but I'm. I'm a skeptic. Again with you. Keep going.

[Tana Mongeau]

But so you and I are getting tagged in this. Tick tock. Like, every day for the past week, I've seen my whole. Mentions of someone talking about tunnels under Hollywood. All fucking week I'm getting tagged in this thing. And I don't know much about tunnels under Hollywood.

[Amari]

I don't know. I don't.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't believe it's them saying there's like a Starbucks reserve under Hollywood. And, like, first of all, like, I feel like I would just know about that shit.

[Amari]

Me too.

[Tana Mongeau]

Someone would have slipped up by now, like, 100%. And so I am gonna go on a deep dive, asking, like, all my most famous friends if this, if this is true. Because that's what they're saying it's for.

[Amari]

Like, if I have anybody who would be invited to Starbucks reserve in my contact.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, they're saying it's like, Will Smith will be driving under the tunnels. Whatever. I. People have been asking us, like, hey, can you talk about the tunnels? And I saved it to try to see if I could ask people and whatever, whatever, blah, blah, blah, right? So. But I have no personal lore. And I'm walking through this house and the girl's like, hey, just letting you know this is hollow. But before the Comedy Store was owned by the Comedy Store people, it was owned by the Mafia. And, like, all of Hollywood's a list would, like, it was the place they would go, right? And so there's a tunnel under this House to the Comedy Store that Marilyn Monroe used to take, like, all the time to, like, go into this house and, like, yada, yada, like, all this, like, Marilyn Monroe.

[Amari]

How does anybody build a tunnel that long?

[Tana Mongeau]

I have no idea. But I saw the full latch, the full thing. There is a jet. There's a tunnel under this.

[Amari]

They couldn't open it.

[Tana Mongeau]

No. They closed off. Allegedly. They closed off, like, some of the entrances that it would take you to. But I'm like, I'm not living in this house.

[Amari]

No. Because who's down there?

[Tana Mongeau]

Who the is under these tunnels under this house in Hollywood? And the fact that they're just like, that. You could tell the lady and I were just vibing, so she was giving me lore, but it's like, so maybe.

[Amari]

Like, she's not supposed to divulge this information at all.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then I leave, and I'm Googling this house, like, just the worst vibe. It's beautiful. Like, the kitchen's been redone. It's gorgeous. But it's, like, worst vibe. I'm Googling it, like, John Bellucci. Is that his name? He left a party.

[Amari]

I thought you were gonna say JonBenet Ramsay.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm like, no, he left a party at this house to go to the Chateau Marmont and then died. Like, there's so much. And I can't believe it's just for sale and no one would know if no one's wondering.

[Amari]

It feels like there's so much history. I wonder that about. Like, I saw the minute. I know. I hate to bring up the Menendez brothers again. No, I don't. I love them so much. Their house just sold for $17 million, and I can't imagine, like, buying it.

[Tana Mongeau]

And do you know you only have to disclose if someone's died in a house within three years? I kind of get that, though.

[Amari]

And, like, I don't. No. I don't know if I subscribe to the idea that, like, a house is, like, haunted because somebody died there. You know what I mean? Like, I also think that, like, it can be haunted. Like, no, you don't haunt somebody unless you were, like, done wrong by them.

[Tana Mongeau]

But friendly ghosts.

[Amari]

I want a friendly ghost.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, you what?

[Amari]

I want a friendly ghost. Over no ghost.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. I am. Who's gonna fucking sorry. Absolutely the not. I want no ghosts. No ghosts.

[Amari]

I want a friendly ghost. Over no ghost. Because I. Like, there's things I can't see that they can.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't care if my ghost is Betty White. I don't care if she's so nice. And she's chilling with me. Like the Barbie movie. Okay. Like, I don't give a. I'm horrified.

[Amari]

Really?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. I just can't. I can't.

[Amari]

We should. Would you ever do, like, a haunted situation or like a. Like a speak to ghosts?

[Tana Mongeau]

Sam and Colby asked me all the time to do one of their videos with them apps. I just think, you know, my whole sleep paralysis lore, like, I had. It was the same as Alan. Like an era of my life where I genuinely was like, someone's here. You know what I mean? Is she in the room with us? And like, I don't with it at all. I'm too paranoid as a person. I just. I. I'm not kidding.

[Amari]

I never, ever, ever think about being haunted until I'm masturbating. Not kidding. And I've already told you this before, but, like, that's the only time I ever think, like, are people watching over me ever? Because I'm like, how embarrassing. I'm serious. I will. I would never go uncovered the faces.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I'm not kidding.

[Amari]

I'm. It's literally like me with my Moses mustache on. I'm like.

[Tana Mongeau]

I feel like you have to have sex with your boyfriend later with this on. Like, I'm definitely gonna have sex like this. Oh, for sure.

[Amari]

I made him kiss me when I left the house and he was literally like, this is so. He's like, ew, I hate kissing someone with a beard. I'm like, I have to do it all day long.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is kind of crazy. It's so funny. I'm about to be Avatar with Makoa and we're getting full special.

[Amari]

Sorry, really quickly, I just want to point out that. Did you. Did you notice who was Avatar?

[Tana Mongeau]

Who was Avatar?

[Amari]

Alabama?

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so funny. The other day, I'm going through my house and I found all these fucking photo with photos of me and Alabama Barker. And I was really, rats. It's so funny because, you know, I'm not gonna sit in that makeup chair for more than three hours. I'm gonna be like, listen, make me blue in five minutes. I want that big Sony Kashuk beauty blender. Like, get to work. Like, I'm not gonna look too.

[Amari]

Here's my thing about it, though. I saw her photo and it was like, almost so perfect that I'm like, I could have done this in an AI app in 30 seconds. And I know she wasted like hours and hours and hours of her life.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know mine's gonna be really footy. Really, really Footy. But I. I do think McCoy and I have to have sex. Is it? We've already like kind of planned for.

[Amari]

Sure, but you're gonna need to put like a tarp down.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh my God, it's so bad. It's so fucking bad.

[Amari]

I'm not doing any Halloween cost or I have to do at least one cuz I have one party that I have to go to.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you know what, you need to do something like so I think you should do something so good like so I know.

[Amari]

I truly love Halloween. I love to dress up, but I just haven't thought of anything this year. Last year I was a deer and I'm like, maybe I'll just be. Be a deer again.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, I look, do you want.

[Amari]

Me to be like sexy buddy white?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like. Yes. Like literally? Yes.

[Amari]

A golden girl. You're kind of a golden girl.

[Tana Mongeau]

We could be golden girls.

[Brooke Schofield]

Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000. Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn more at go.pemco.com Nojoke Pemco Mutual Insurance Co. Seattle, WA should we speak.

[Tana Mongeau]

On pop culture before we just go down random tangent holes? Tangent holes is not a phrase.

[Amari]

Yeah, lots has happened in pop culture this week. First of all, I don't know if this is is considered a pop culture, but they announced the Menendez brothers re sentencing today, which I think is going to happen like really soon because with.

[Tana Mongeau]

A resentencing they can say you deserved 30 years and then they've already served 30 years and they can be put out like immediately.

[Amari]

Yes. And so originally they had served or they were like sentenced to life sentences without parole and now they're eligible for parole and since they've already been in for like X amount of years, they're eligible immediately.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm so excited for them. I think that everything I said I could have said last week, like all of my takes on it. But I am just really happy for them to start. Hopefully begin a more new normal. Same thing as Gypsy Rose. And I just.

[Amari]

God, that's so amazing. It like literally gives me like chills to think about them sitting in prison. They're like, all this time and thinking like there's they are never gonna see outside again. And then now they are because people were so, I am really like passionate and stuff about their kids. I think it's so amazing. Did you know that they both got married in prison.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did they?

[Amari]

They both got married since they've been in there.

[Tana Mongeau]

To guys?

[Amari]

No, to women outside of prison.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, really?

[Amari]

Both of them?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, no. I didn't know that they.

[Amari]

Yeah. And I wish I jumped. I wish I got ahead of it, to be honest.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. That's so iconic.

[Amari]

Eric is hot.

[Tana Mongeau]

They're both like beautiful, beautiful people.

[Amari]

Well, I just like the picture.

[Tana Mongeau]

Gorgeous.

[Amari]

The young Eric, he could get.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I know.

[Amari]

Not me in a beard saying I'm.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I feel like we have to talk about the Brianna chicken fries. Zach Bryan breakup. Here's what I'm gonna say. I was 100 rooting for them to not be the tale is oldest time. The lose them. How you got him tail is old this time, but him being on Raya the next day makes me feel as though it's hitting the tail as old this time, you know, and it's just like, you know, what's her name? Debbie.

[Amari]

Who's Debbie? Deb.

[Tana Mongeau]

Deb is just somewhere Deborah is thriving. Someone was saying when the hurricane. Because it wasn't heard. The hurricane just called Hurricane Deb.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And Zach Brian was just. It was something like, you'll never lose the of a woman who loves you. I'm brain dead.

[Amari]

I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

But yes.

[Amari]

Yeah. So Deb came before Brianna and didn't.

[Tana Mongeau]

He cheat on her with Brianna?

[Amari]

I mean, it's. People say that, but I don't. I don't think so. Or I think it was just very, very immediate after both Brie and Zach's breakups that they got into new relationships. So much so that it is like very suspicious. Like if my boyfriend were to break up with me, even like my little two month relationship that I have going on right now, if he were to break up with me and start dating someone next week, I would be floored.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, people just always talk about how that is like narcissism checkpoint number one.

[Amari]

People who just can't be alone. And it's so. It's so scary. But like, I guess like, I don't know, it's so con. Like his archetype is like so common and it's like you just fill the void and it's like literally like somebody's disposable. And Brianna said that in her bathroom floor video. She was like, I. You can give someone everything and be discarded within days.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it is sad.

[Amari]

But she. This is the thing. She saw him do it to somebody else. So it is like I understand why people are receiving it. And they're like, well, you Were stupid. You, like, you know what I mean? Everybody's saying that, but I do feel bad and some capacity.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so sad because you always want to believe. Yeah, I like, believe in love. Like, you know what I mean? You want to be the anomaly. You want to be the.

[Amari]

Yeah. And it's like, I hate, you know how many people are making videos right now that are like, she should have known better and stuff. I'm like, okay, Zach, Brian comes knocking on your door and see what you do. Like, be honest.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah, it's.

[Amari]

He, you know, I know exactly the type of guy he is. Like, he probably love bombed her so hard. And like, of course, like, when somebody's telling you all these things, you think they're going to be different.

[Tana Mongeau]

No. When you're watching him sing the most beautiful songs in the world and eventually the most beautiful songs in the world about you to these arenas of people who love him and he's vulnerable and he's talented and he's. I 100% see how you. And then I think that a common thing with women as well, though, is that you think with a man that time put in matters. Do you know what I mean? Like, I. I found myself in this situation a million times where you, like, she probably at this point, right before this breakup was like, okay, I've put in so much time. But it doesn't. Men don't think like that. That's why the taxicab theory is a thing like that. A man, you can. A woman can do everything for a man for five years, and if he's not ready for marriage, he will dump your ass. And then a year later, the first woman who comes by just like a taxi cab light on. Yeah, he's gonna marry. And it's the same principle. You know what I mean? Like, the time put in did not matter in the ways in the end, how he was. I don't know. Dave Portnoy was funny. As for tweeting, smallest man who ever lived.

[Amari]

I know. I saw him say today that he, like, never liked Zach and he always got bad vibes from Zach. I've only ever met Zach, like once.

[Tana Mongeau]

Have I ever met him? Yes, I have.

[Amari]

I don't think so. I just, I. He was at Bree's live show when I went to go do it. And so, like, I got to talk to him a little bit.

[Tana Mongeau]

I thought we met him. I met him.

[Amari]

Oh, you did? You did? You did? We. Yeah, we met him at a show too, but I didn't get, like, bad vibes. From him. But you. I mean, you know, there's the story of him serving his wife with divorce papers while she was deployed.

[Tana Mongeau]

No.

[Amari]

Yeah. So he was married once before to Rose. Only a couple years ago, married with the dog. But yeah. So he was married, and they were both in the military or the army, I don't know. And she was, like, active duty, like, deployed. And he just served her with divorce papers, no explanation.

[Tana Mongeau]

If I'm in the military and someone serves me with divorce papers, I am absolutely, like, calling all troops and being like, hey, can we just move this missile? Well, just, like, are you kidding me?

[Amari]

Like, talk. Oh, my God. Just the. The way that. I mean, you know, the way I handle a breakup. Like, if it were like, that kind of thing, like, you're married to somebody and I'm already at war.

[Tana Mongeau]

No. And the only way you can communicate is letters. I'd be putting blood on the letter. Like, I don't even. What do you even do? I'd be sending photographic evidence.

[Amari]

I use one of those stamps that you touch and then croak.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not Anthrax. Anthrax boots. Anthrax boots the house down. Are you fucking actually kidding me? That's fucked. Okay, I see there's.

[Amari]

That was before. That was before Deb. And then came Brianna. And there's absolutely zero time in between any of those relationships. That's why people get on him so much online.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Amari]

And I felt bad for Bri all along the relationship, because everyone was hating on the relationship the whole time, being like, girl, like, he's going to do to you exactly what he did to everybody else. And, you know, she was probably, like, so bothered by that. And then he did.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. That's sad as. That's just. That's a mess. It's such a mess.

[Amari]

It's always the guys who sing, like, the most beautiful love songs that are.

[Tana Mongeau]

He has that fucking song let you down or whatever, where it's. He literally says, I'm gonna fucking let you down. I'm gonna do everything. Like, that's who I am.

[Amari]

It's almost like they have too much love in their heart and they have to spread it all over the place.

[Tana Mongeau]

Even if he didn't cheat on her, it's just. The riot the next day is diabolical. It's Olivia Rodrigo. It's like, traitor. It's like, you fucking. You don't. That's. It's the same thing to me, especially.

[Amari]

If it was on any sort of terms, like, because he put out a statement where he was like, something like, he hasn't been mentally right since his mom's passing. And, like, he just needs to work.

[Tana Mongeau]

Clinton.

[Amari]

I know. Well, I'm like, yeah, I think I've seen. Seen this feeling before.

[Tana Mongeau]

Except at least not at least. Yeah, but you can't blame that.

[Amari]

Like, and say, like, oh, you need to focus on yourself and your mental and stuff. And then go on Raya. Because it's like, oh, are you gonna do that on a date with some other.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's also just like. Like, in what world do you think you're gonna open up that Raya app and it's not gonna get clocked? Like, do you think you're gonna stealthily.

[Amari]

Yeah, that's what I'm. But that. I think that they must have been broken up for a while. I think they break up and get back together quite often in. Actually.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. He should just sing. He should for sure. Just. How lucky are we? It's been a hell of a week. He's. It's been a hell of a week.

[Amari]

Brie should have titled her YouTube video that.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's been a hell of a week.

[Aaron]

Oh, that's good.

[Amari]

The girls hunt. How lucky are we?

[Tana Mongeau]

Right? Like, that's insane. It's. It's just.

[Amari]

It's not funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean, Jesus. I think Dave Fortnoy will really handle it. So I'm just. I'm tapped out on everything I have to say. I wish nothing. I genuinely do. I hope Brianna finds a really healthy, happy world.

[Brooke Schofield]

Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000. Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] Nojoke Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what's been, like, really pissing me off on the Internet lately as well? Just, there has been so much happening. Like, I feel like this is always how the Internet goes. There's like a week where nothing happens and then everything happens. And it's so fucking sad that Liam Payne passed away. It is. It is just, like, so. So fucking heartbreaking. Like, I know that he did some really fucked up things and just the whole situation is so layered. But I think that what's made me really sad is just seeing all of the girls who were, like, directioners and, like, how integral it was for, like, their childhood, how one Direction, how it shaped so many people. And I saw Tara's world. She posted this video where she was just like, really distraught over and crying. And all of the comments were like, girl, imagine if this was someone you really knew. Okay? Like, just, like, coming at her for being so parasocial. And I was having this conversation with a bunch of people I knew, and I realized how split it is because, like, I completely understand. Like, if Justin Bieber passed away, I would genuinely be. Because I was such a believer. I still am. Like, it did shape and form me in so many ways, you know? Like, I wasn't personally a directioner, but I can relate. Like, I. I would be as distraught as all these girls are. But a lot of people in real life, like, hearing them talk about it just people I know are like, they can't understand why, like, Tara's world was crying like that. Like, they're saying, like, I don't know that person. Like, I would only be upset if it was like. And it's crazy to me.

[Amari]

Like, no, you can watch a movie and cry at someone dying in a movie, so why can't you cry? It's a real person dying.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Whether you know, the fact of your life so much.

[Tana Mongeau]

I.

[Amari]

Like you said, like, I feel like I am just old enough to have not really, like, been like, a super, like, One Direction fan, but, like, BB for example, has been crying literally for weeks. I ran into Olivia O'Brien in the elevator the other day. Was sobbing with a One Direction shirt on. And it's like, it really is. So. It's just. Just horrible.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I think it's. It's so sad, and it's crazy that people can be so not sensitive to that. Like, who gives a if that person knew that person or not.

[Amari]

If you want to talk insensitive, I want to talk about what they're doing to all the girls who are associated with Liam Payne online. Like, his current girlfriend, his ex girlfriend, his kid's mother. Like, every single one of them is getting, like, in some way blamed for him having passed away. And I can't even imagine, like, the grief alone, like, would probably kill me. And then going online and seeing people blaming me for it.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so sad.

[Amari]

It's so sad. And I, like, they're, you know, all, like. I think her name is Kat, his girlfriend that he's. He was dating when he passed away. She. All of her comments are literally, like, why would you leave him there? Like, this is your fault. Like, it is. Like, how can people possibly be so horrible?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it's. And it's. It's just crazy because it's like, obviously, if this was Something he was struggling with. Like, that was probably not an anomaly of a situation for her leaving him there. And they have kids, right?

[Amari]

No, he has a. He has a seven year old with Sheryl Crow who is. Who is a one who is a X factor.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I know who Sheryl Crow is. That's crazy. I did not know that was the mother. You know what I want to talk about really quickly, just kind of in relation to all of this that I keep seeing. So allegedly of 2 CB was found in his toxicology report in his bloodstream. Yeah. And apparently also 2 CB has been making a lot of recurrences in the media because Diddy, it was, like, found in all of his as well. And everyone keeps calling it pink cocaine. Right. And I just keep, like, seeing that everywhere.

[Amari]

Okay, so that's what I saw. I saw pink cocaine found in his system.

[Tana Mongeau]

I've always made, like, two CB jokes, like, and I've learned a valuable lesson. I even had. We had a girl come up to us at the meet and greet and talk about how she was, like, recovering from being addicted to Percocets. And I've seen a lot of people in my life be addicted to, like, Percocets and hard drugs like that and like that. And it is. They're all just such damaging drugs. And I have. We talked about this a while ago, but I've just learned a valuable lesson that I need to be very careful with my jokes. Especially right now. I'm seeing all this, like, pink cocaine. Cocaine is obviously a very bad drug, but I think that it became a much scarier drug when fentanyl started being. Coming into the mix. And calling 2 CB, pink cocaine, I think, is, like, diabolical. It is such a horrifying drug. And it, like, will have you, like, talking to walls and really, Amari, do you wanna. Amari has a Malibu Barbie.

[Amari]

Do you have something to say?

[Aaron]

Don't do it. Don't.

[Tana Mongeau]

Amare's 2 CB experience. Do you know, I set a reminder in my phone to yell at amare for doing 2 CB years and years ago, because I found out this story third party. But Amare was in the airport, left all of his luggage in the airport, like, to send it home and then left the airport. He thought he was at a snack shack. He Facetime Ty. And he was like, I'm at the snack shack. Fully an airport vending machine. Obviously the news isn't, like, marketing it as anything, but I can just imagine so many, like, young, impressionable people seeing, like, pink cocaine. And it Just sounds so much lighter of a.

[Amari]

Well, not even just that, but, like, people who are doing it, like, literally doing it because they think it is literally pink cocaine.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it's like, so. It's so, so, so such a hard drug. Obviously, I think we all sing, right? I think everyone in this room has maybe tried it in that realm, right? Like, you're like, oh, pink cocaine. And I just want to be the PSA right here. That just. Because it's, like, just Trish and. And, like, don't bring.

[Amari]

Don't bring attrition at all.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dresses. King Tut being a freak. Immediate apology for that. I'm just saying, I think that it. It being pink is really just up. Like, it just, like, it looks so much cuter than why is it pink? And now it's just all in the news as, like, fucking pink cocaine. And I'm like, dude, this is a up drug.

[Amari]

I thought it was, like, something mixed. Oh, it's mixed with Molly.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's like, if you did Molly cocaine.

[Amari]

And, like, dude, I did Ketoline only one time, and I called the ambulance on myself. I would never touch anything even moderately similar to Molly ever again in my fucking life.

[Tana Mongeau]

Mm. It's just, like, one drug being the equivalent to doing Molly, ketamine, hallucinogens, and.

[Amari]

Like, coke, they really hit all the bases.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, they. I know. And it's just, like, so scary. I don't know. I just. Not that I should be. I just feel like we do have a lot of, like, young fans who are, like, girls and gays and, like, listen, I get got by pink shit all the time. Like, if it's pink, I'm buying it. You know what I mean? If it's pink, I want it more. And it's just. I don't think this should be one of those.

[Amari]

Well, listen, we've done the market research for you. There's not a drug in the world that you should try, because nothing is that good literally, at all.

[Tana Mongeau]

Except, like, weed.

[Amari]

Weed's not a drug.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, even this vape being pink, like, sells me a little more. I'm just saying.

[Amari]

Listen, I need to clear the air really quickly because sometimes me and Tana take jokes a little bit too far. Okay. And that. And what started out as a joke. Okay, here's the thing. This starts in when I was a senior in high school.

[Tana Mongeau]

Ball Shaver Schofield.

[Amari]

Yes. That's crazy that you knew what I was gonna say.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that was cute.

[Amari]

Yeah. I've told this story before. I'll keep it short. I told this kid I was going to shave his mustache in the shower one time. Like, it was like a. Like the guy was dating in high school. And for some reason in his head, he was like, oh, I'm gonna actually tell all my friends that she shaved my balls in the shower. And then I became ball shaver Schofield, and I could never live it down. So now I like, I mean, I made a joke like that to my boyfriend recently and really joking about it, I was like, imagine if I put your little pubes in my locket.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, kidding, not kidding.

[Amari]

I was kidding. And then I was like, oh, I'm going to take this joke a little one step further and I'm going to tell Tana that there's pubes in my locket. Just because we were talking about my locket and I was like, oh, yeah, there's actually pubes in here.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, because also I don't even think the people don't even know about this. But it's so fucking funny every time we're like at a show, in a random green room, wherever. Like, I feel like Paige doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. So she'll go manic, like on tour, and she'll just start cutting her hair. Like, I can't even tell you the amount of green rooms Paige has given herself. Like a butterfly cut in or like a wolf cut or like whatever's trending on tick tock, whatever cut like pages.

[Amari]

And she's amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

She's taking salons. She really does slay it. And so she was cutting her hair per usual. And then you guys were joking that like, she should put her hair in your.

[Amari]

No, I did have a lock of her hair in my locket for like a few weeks. And then she made me take it out because she thought I was. I was cursing her.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was sitting with Paige and she'd had this like, quote unquote bad week, horrible luck. The luck in question is like stubbing her toe. And like, it really?

[Amari]

She thinks I put a hex on her.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, she know but she where she's so high and she just sits up and she goes, tana, I have to remove my hair from Brooks locket. Like, she's not saying that you were hexing her, but she's saying that someone else having her hair could be bad juju. And then she actually, the next day we're in like Boston and she comes into your room and like removes the locket hair.

[Amari]

Literally. She didn't leave one hair.

[Tana Mongeau]

So I Think that. Which is just crazy. But I think that major.

[Amari]

I'm dried up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Maybe that put the idea in your head that you needed new hair. Yeah.

[Amari]

So I thought it was, like, funny, like, hahaha. And so Tana made a tech talk about it. Brooke has pubes in her locket. And first of all, I think you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did have pubes in your locket and you're trying to backtrack right now.

[Amari]

I don't have any pubes in my locket. I can't wink. But I would have if I could imagine.

[Tana Mongeau]

They're just all on my face now.

[Amari]

First of all, his friends won't let him live it down. And I, like, feel so guilty for having done that to him. And second of all, it. It was in my head. So, like, I'm thinking, lock it, lock it, lock it. Okay. And we just had this pubes in the locket situation. And this girl comes up to the meet and greet.

[Tana Mongeau]

She says, oh, my God, I forgot.

[Amari]

I. And I go, oh, my God, I love your locket. And I look at tanning, like, I like, laugh because we just talked about this pubes thing. And she goes, thanks, my dad is in there.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, you thought we were about to have a funny. Because it really was. It was right before the meet and greet, I was like, clowning you for having pubes in your locket. I'm dying on the hill that the pubes were in your locket. Bad time to say dying on the hill. But then the girl comes up and she's so sweet. And then Brooke, you just thought we were going to have, like, a little funny. Like, you were going to be like, oh, my God, I love your locket. I have a locket. And you and me would kind of chuckle. Maybe we tell the girl about your pubes. Like, it'd be like, yeah, it was.

[Amari]

Going to be a funny joke between the three of us. But then she told me her dad was in there. And then I had to, like, literally, I'm not even kidding. Like, my jaw hurt from how hard I was trying not to. Like, literally, it was going to hit.

[Tana Mongeau]

The ground, cry and laugh. She ended up making a TikTok about it to the girl.

[Amari]

She did?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. She was like, if, you know, you know, like, my dad. My dad, Dad's in my locket. Like, and then Brooke told me that her boyfriend's pubes are in hers. And like, I really do just think that that kind of encapsulates what a meet and greet experience is like, for us.

[Amari]

Okay, but just for the record, My boyfriend's pubes are not in my locket.

[Tana Mongeau]

They so are. They are. It's funny because I actually like, I don't think it's that weird because I saw this TikTok so long ago where a girl was like essentially gets that weird because I've been trying to do something with Makoa. Not as weird as that. This girl was making a tick tock. Like you're fighting for a text back. Like I have his dread on a keychain. So I've been wanting to do that for so long. Like have one of Makoa's locks of hair on a keychain.

[Amari]

Like little curl.

[Tana Mongeau]

Makoa was like, no, you're not doing this. This is so weird. So eventually I started. Every time he would brush his hair and lose hair, I started keeping the hair to make my own.

[Amari]

Okay, see, mine was a joke and yours isn't at all. No, I get it though.

[Tana Mongeau]

But then I told Makoa that you were keeping pubes in your locket and he finally said, fine, you can have a keychain. Oh, you're welcome. So honestly, thank you so much. I'm so excited for my kitchen.

[Amari]

I knew I was good. My joke was good for something. It definitely wasn't good for my boyfriend's reputation amongst his friends.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And I just honestly, Miles, I'm sorry that I said that you're a build a. Because he's also not leaving that one down.

[Amari]

No, he's fine. It doesn't bother him.

[Brooke Schofield]

Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000. Don't at a small leak turn into a big expense? Learn [e-mail] no joke. Pemco Mutual Insurance Co. Seattle, Washington.

[Tana Mongeau]

Amari, do you remember that time I bled all over Elton John's house?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm about to tell that story I fear again. I'm touring houses and Elton John's house is also by the sunset strip in Hollywood Hills. So we were touring a house like right by. He used to live there. Right? And Ashley was like, do you remember that time that you bled all over Elton John's house? And I was like, oh my God. Like I hadn't thought about the memory in so long. But I just need to tell you how fucking embarrassing this is. Like I just like so many of my embarrassing stories I just like completely forget about and I'm like, oh my God, I did do that. So it was Jordan's birthday. What were you gonna say?

[Amari]

Maybe it's because we aren't supposed to tell these stories, but it's like, it's so good for the.

[Tana Mongeau]

The lore. Yeah. It was Jordan Rona's birthday, and me and Elijah Daniel decided we were gonna throw him a birthday party, okay? And so we're looking at houses on Airbnb because this was before, like, I had a house. So we're looking at a house on Airbnb to, like, throw this party in, okay? And we end up renting this house. We get there, and as the guy's giving us the keys, he's like, yeah, Elton John used to live here, and he would always throw parties here. And we're like, this is so iconic. And there's Elton John stuff, like memorabilia all over the house. And we throw this party and I end up just getting, like, fucking shit faced, right? Like, so Tina. So Tina level. And especially just because I was like, 18, like, we were so much more, like, out of pocket at that time. Like, coming straight from Vegas, Like, I didn't know how to throw a party. I would just invite everyone and get, like, face.

[Amari]

I love that.

[Tana Mongeau]

And so I'm hammered. And I'm up in the room, like, and I. I'm like, on my period. I have no idea how this happens, but I go to the bathroom and my tampon had just been in for way too long. Okay? I don't know what happens or how this happens, but I take my tampon out, miss the toilet. I don't know. I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

[Amari]

And you don't fix it, right? You just left it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't put a new tampon in. Like, I don't know if I was so hammered, okay? It ends up getting stuck to my shoe and I.

[Amari]

Stuck.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I leave. There's blood on the walls, Brooke. Like, there's blood. I leave and I'm walking on the party for an hour, Trail of blood all down my legs. Trail, trail, trail, trail. Had to end up trying to clean it so the Airbnb owner didn't, like, give us a fine. He throws up everywhere.

[Amari]

Literally sued.

[Tana Mongeau]

He throws up everywhere blood on the walls in Elton John's house. And then they ended up finding me to, like, because it was like, on the walls. And do you know what's crazy, though, too? I talked about this a little on Tick Tock, and it's like, this is now, like six years later, right? I still don't have my period figured out at all. Can I just say that, like, it's just.

[Amari]

I think you either you talked about this on something else or maybe you said it to me, but I will.

[Tana Mongeau]

Say, like, there's blood on my light switch in my house right now. Like, every morning I wake up on the first couple days of my period and I just, like, have to run to the bathroom. It's bleeding down my leg. Like, and then it's like you put the tampon in and it's like you can't get it out. And then sometimes it's just drier, like, than a. Like I'll never have my period figured out. I'm going to be 40, bleeding down my leg. Or like pulling a birthday card fucking out of my purse. Like, dry ass tampon. I don't understand it.

[Amari]

Ouch. I don't know. I mean, a lot of you just have a heavy flow. I don't have that heavy of a flow. I actually, literally, at 27 years old, just had my first, like, extreme bleed through my pants situation. And I was alone with Lincoln on.

[Tana Mongeau]

A flight every single period. I have, like, the first couple days, like, it's like, it's on my ankle. It's on my ankle. My ankle is so far from my. Like, what do you mean? And then that just brings me to my next point of just everything being figured out. I'm trying so hard right now to become a person who is type A. Okay? But it's just like. Like, as I'm just going through all my stuff, I'm also trying to become a minimalist. I'm trying to, but I don't understand how. There's time in the day, okay? It's like you wake up, you're supposed to have a healthy fucking breakfast. You're supposed to take your vitamins and supplements. You're supposed to have gotten eight hours of sleep the night before. You're supposed to be so fucking hydrated. You're supposed to get all of your work done. You're supposed to care about all of your friends. You're supposed to follow up with caring about your friends. You're supposed to wear something cute right now. You're supposed to be clean, girl. You're supposed to be this or you're supposed to be that. All of these fucking things. And then you're supposed to clean your house. You're supposed to put shit back as you. How the fuck do people get dressed every day without trying three things on? And then you're supposed to put those things back.

[Amari]

I have no clue.

[Tana Mongeau]

How the fuck is there time in life to do it all. Like, how the fuck are people just naturally type A?

[Amari]

Like, I have an idea. Waking up before 4pm no, no, fuck.

[Tana Mongeau]

You, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck that. Because it's not even that. It's like. And it's like making meals. You're telling me people cook three meals a day?

[Amari]

I don't get it either. Trust I'm not Taipei.

[Tana Mongeau]

Clean up the kitchen all three times, and then they have time to do their job and they're going to be a lover.

[Amari]

You have like a fucking 5,000 square foot mansion. Like, it's easier. Like, I live in an apartment, so it's not like, hard to keep it, like, together, but by myself, I can't.

[Tana Mongeau]

How do you get dressed without killing yourself? How do you do your makeup?

[Amari]

I don't. But I come home and it makes me so miserable to live in it that I have to fix it. You know what I mean? Like that. But I'm not type A. Like, I'm really not at all. I. Nothing in my life is organized. You will not catch me taking a supplement. I'm eating McDonald's for three meals a day. But it's just like my own misery that gets me to do it. That it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I don't have time to, like, clean the fingerprints off my mirror. I don't have time to put like, the strapless bra back because I'm wearing the racer back bra.

[Amari]

Comes like, habitual and like, I almost feel like it's like old dog, new tricks. You can't do it. Like, it's like you either grew up that way or you didn't.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, my room looks like someone fucking took a bomb to it right now. Like, you're gonna. I'm gonna be Trisha as King Tut on the canceled podcast. And I'm not gonna have like, eight pair of gold high heels like, strown about.

[Amari]

Yeah, well, luckily you've got help.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. I just. I'm really trying to change myself. But as I'm trying to instill all of these habits, by the end of the day, it's like, I need a tranquilizer.

[Amari]

No, but it's because you're trying to focus on too much at once. If you like, all of a sudden try to change your whole life upside down in one day, obviously you're gonna be like, I'm never gonna try this again. It's like, if I were to try to like, go to the gym tomorrow and try to run nine miles, I would literally, like, I would just never go back in my entire life.

[Tana Mongeau]

That too. Like, I just. I don't understand how anyone has it all together.

[Amari]

Oh, my God, me neither. No, nobody.

[Tana Mongeau]

But people pretend, I guess it's one or the other. Like, I could have a really hard working work day, but then I'm not gonna have a, like, healthy.

[Amari]

Yeah. Like, routine life struggling. Because, like, my. Like, obviously Murphy's an angel, but Mouse can just. He literally can destroy an entire house. Like, I woke up this morning like a dog. He has, like, destroyed like 20 rolls of toilet paper in every single crevice of the house. And I'm like. Like, if I were by myself, I don't think. I think I would have dropped him off at the gas station and like, kids.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, what do you mean? People have kids. What the fuck do you mean?

[Amari]

I was gonna say, I think that kids might be what helps you. Helps you. Like, because all of a sudden you'll learn new habits.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, if my toddler threw SpaghettiOs at the wall, I would be like, listen, next week, like, what do you mean? I also have to take them to the dance.

[Amari]

But you're new habits. Like, you form new habits because it's going to be your first time going through life as a mom. So it's like when you clean up the dinner table after they, like, that's your first time learning it and that's when you get to have new habits.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but you're telling me my toddler fucking sprayed shit and now I have to go, like, make ravioli.

[Amari]

Your husband is for. You're making ravioli? He's cleaning up the spray edge.

[Tana Mongeau]

But then, like, how do moms have, like, a slick back bun?

[Amari]

I don't know. I haven't gotten there yet.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just. I utterly cannot believe, like, as I'm even just trying to be more put together, that there are people out there with little fucking varmints.

[Amari]

I know.

[Tana Mongeau]

And they, like, they're put together like Nora Smith. Like, not. There's no Smith. She's gotta turn that camera off and just pull a gun on fucking Lucky. Like, I would be so sorry. Like, but I'm just saying, like, what do you mean she's. What do you mean? She's cooking? Fucking, like, what do you mean? She's making Capri sun from scratch in a Chanel tweed. Loves her kids, has time to go to fucking fashion shows and sit front row. You know, she fucks the shit out of Lucky. Where the hell does she have time for that?

[Amari]

I'll tell you, Like, I think she's that happy because, like, she has such a horny relationship. And not to like. No, but then it's like, what do you call it? Speculate. But, like, you can just tell looking at them that they just, like, literally, they must have sex at least seven times. And I feel like I would be so happy. I'd be, like, walking on clouds and I would be making bubble gum from scratch if I was getting it like that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dude, I know. It's just. It would take up all my time. The other day I had, like, psycho balls to the wall sex midday, and it was like, I'm not going to clean the kitchen after I got my assayed. I'm exhausted. Yeah, well, I slept for six hours after that. What do you imagine that happened? And then, like, I have to, like, pick up the kids from school. Like, I can't walk. Like, what the fuck? Like, the second I had kids, my husband's never getting fucked again.

[Amari]

You think so?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Amari]

No, I think you'll be so miserable with the children. And that's, like, all you're gonna be able to do for serotonin.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. I'm like. I'm out of breath even just thinking about it. You think I'm a sex addict? I don't need to have sex every day, but I need to, like, have crazy sex, like, at least once every two weeks. You know, like, lately I've been really. No, no, come on.

[Amari]

Come. Come on. We gotta give them something.

[Tana Mongeau]

The idea of bringing a taser into the bedroom is becoming more and more normal for me.

[Aaron]

What?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, wouldn't that be so.

[Amari]

To you?

[Tana Mongeau]

What do you mean?

[Amari]

My father to want to punish him so bad.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God, no. I want him to tase me. No. Or yes. I've been taste.

[Aaron]

It is so painful.

[Tana Mongeau]

But imagine just a little zap to the ass in doggy.

[Amari]

Oh, you want to get taste. Okay, so you're. You're wondering why you don't have energy in the day and you're trying to bring a taser into the bedroom. You're gonna be out for the count.

[Aaron]

She's like, kill me.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just know Makoa's friends are, like, in San Diego, like, just caught a surf. Someone's sending them a clip of this and they're like, God, why couldn't you have been with, like, the Hawaiian girl? Like, you know, it's just like, literally king time. I'm literally king tut. Talking about how I want this man to tase me and doggy. And I'm like, oh, my God, I hope his mom loves Me forever. Like, it's like, fuck, I'm crying. I'm crying off my jewels. Oh, my God, it is so bad. It's. This is bad.

[Amari]

I'm in a beard.

[Brooke Schofield]

Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000. Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] Nojoke Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington.

[Amari]

And this always happens to me. It's like, the more I'll clown you about something, like, the more likely I am to get it. So, like, oh, my God. For example, BB has dandruff. And that's fine. But I've been. I've been literally making fun of her.

[Tana Mongeau]

So much just because I was so mean.

[Amari]

No, I love BB More than literally. Like, I've never left anything. Like, I love bb but it was like, our funny joke for a second. Like, if she walked, like, walked in front of me, I'd, like, pretend to, like, slip on her flake. Like, I'm like. Like, as if it's snowing at all times. Like, her dandruff is so bad that I'm, like, literally, like, choking on it. Like, that was, like, my joke for a couple weeks. And then I went to go brush my hair last night, and I saw that I have literal flakes. I am dandruffed up.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have the worst dandruff in the world. You could rack up lines of it. Really?

[Amari]

I don't know if I've ever. Well, maybe I've had dandruff before.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, it's because when I get a bleach in tone, like, your whole scalp, like, has goes raw and then has to, like, scab over. Yeah. So then that's like, the other day, Macoa gave me a head massage. Like, I was laying. Like, he was laying. Like, he was laying, like, flat, and I was laying, like, on him. Like, we're both facing the ceiling. And he was massaging my head, and I stood up, and it looked like someone did an eight ball off of his black shirt. And it was so embarrassing. You're like, no, I'm not kidding. It wasn't even fixable. I have the word. Like, you pat my head and, like, see, like.

[Amari]

But that's a good excuse.

[Tana Mongeau]

At least the outs fall off.

[Amari]

And there's no shade to the dandruff community. I just, like, there's nothing wrong with having dandruff. There's that's not the thing. It's just funny because it's like, I've never had dandruff in my life. And then I make fun of her, like, one time for doing it, and all of a sudden I'm just like.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have some great products for your dandy. Don't worry, you can take them on the way out. Green apple head and shoulders. So really, you just have to moisturize your scalp. But did you see that the Kardashians had a screening for Wicked at their house and, like, Ariana Grande came?

[Amari]

Yes, I did.

[Tana Mongeau]

How funny is that? First of all, I just love the card. I love that, like, anything that those kids want, like, they can just make like, you know that, like, Chicago was just like, mommy, can we have Wicked at home?

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And Kim was like, fine. Like Ariana. But how funny over Pete, like, how, like. Oh, it's just like. Like what? Like, how did they even get there? Not. No. I'm bringing up Pete Davidson in a King Tut outfit. No, but me, I'm like, oh, my God. I'm bringing up Pete Davidson in a King Tut outfit.

[Amari]

Kim has always been supportive of Ariana. And I remember when her and Pete broke up, she was posting Ariana Grande songs.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was she?

[Amari]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

So it's like, they're probably just so past it. I was just imagining, like, I think.

[Amari]

It'S just like a universal experience.

[Tana Mongeau]

Everyone's like, yeah, imagine watching a three hour movie and, like, you know, like, Mason and Penelope were, like, throwing at the walls. Like, it's just like, imagine all those kids in one room. Like, like, just.

[Amari]

No. Who's the bad one? Rain's the one who, like, wreaks havoc.

[Tana Mongeau]

Let me just stop. I'm also like, it's just. I don't need to be talking about those kids in this outfit. It's just like, oh, my God. I can't even though. Amari. Are you ready to come on, Miss Malibu Barbie?

[Amari]

Malibu. Oh, wait, no. You're Trisha.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, Malibu. And now we welcome Malibu Barbie to the podcast.

[Amari]

You look amazing.

[Aaron]

Holy, bro.

[Tana Mongeau]

Can you believe we made such a beautiful child?

[Amari]

I can't believe it.

[Aaron]

I'm never getting a boyfriend after this episode.

[Amari]

No. And Malibu is going to send us a cease and desist.

[Aaron]

Right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Babies for cease and desist. That's. Oh, no, that is kind of. It's funny, Mari, because to me, you. You're giving me. Like, I wore that dress in Cabo on my birthday. And those shoes.

[Amari]

You look amazing. That's how my Legs look after literally one time being cold.

[Aaron]

Do you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

So I wore these shoes one time. I dressed as Barbie for Halloween and Charlie Jordan was having a party.

[Amari]

Okay, was that the one that was, like, super controversial?

[Tana Mongeau]

Why?

[Amari]

Everyone was, like, saying that you were showing follower counts to get in.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, that people were showing follower accounts.

[Amari]

You had to, like, show a follower your followers. Op.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think people said that, but that did not.

[Amari]

I know. That's what I'm saying.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I will. I will vouch for Ms. Jordan. That did not happen. And she is not. She would never do that. But her house, like, probably holds like a thousand people. And like, literally, like, I don't know. Here I go with numbers. Tanacon. 20,000 people outside.

[Amari]

Thousand is a lot. 5,000. We're at the Dolby Theater.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, like, no, Tana Marie, I'm. Here's what I'm gonna say. Not quite, but the address just ended up getting sent around like crazy. There were way more people than, like, where her house could fit. There were so many people outside, like, down her fucking street, whatever. And I show up and I'm as Barbie. And I have this big ass Barbie box, okay? I have this big ass Barbie box. And so I get there and I'm like, trying not to wait in the line. Like, obviously I was, like, invited and so many people outside were not invited. So I'm like, shoving through people in my Barbie box. And this was when DJ was still alive and I was still alive.

[Aaron]

And we grew up with her. So I feel like you get a little more, like, leeway. It's like, no, we went to high school together. Bitch move.

[Tana Mongeau]

And DJ was still alive and he was one of our closest friends. So he comes out to get us and he's helping me just mob through people in my Barbie box, okay? And I'm not gonna lie to you, I did not look my best at this time of my life, okay? This was a time of my life where I was, you know, if the Crunch Wrap was there, I was eating it.

[Amari]

Okay, Sounds delicious.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I knock over these guys with my Barbie box, right? I like, hit them all and I'm like, move. Like, get the fuck out of the way. And I'm holding it like this. You know what I mean? I'm knocking people with my Barbie box.

[Amari]

I picture them, like, flying into the.

[Tana Mongeau]

Pool and it was like, SoundCloud rapper ass guys, okay? And one of the guys just stands up and as I'm walking away, he goes, fat ass Barbie just knocked me over.

[Aaron]

That would ruin my month.

[Tana Mongeau]

It Did. Are you kidding me?

[Aaron]

And you're already feeling like, God damn. I'm just so big and boxy with this. Are you kidding me?

[Tana Mongeau]

I walked in Charlie's house, made me look boxy. I walked in Charlie's house and I was just so defeated. I was like, I don't even want to be here anymore. Like, are you. And I remember DJ was just cussing them out. God, I love him. But it was. Yeah, that's what. So that's why it's funny. These shoes were just in the pile of shit to get rid of. And then I'm already put them on.

[Amari]

That's my favorite story you've ever told.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's why I'm getting rid of the shoes.

[Amari]

Because they were never Fat ass Barbie.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was definitely giving fat ass Barbie.

[Aaron]

I fear I don't know how you guys do this. Is that, like, my legs have been shaking literally, like, since I put these on. Like, And Aaron asked me to go downstairs and get him a water. I was like, fuck.

[Amari]

You know, you could have taken the heels off. Like, that was an hour ago. You just kept them on this whole time. So committed.

[Aaron]

Straps and just all of it. It's just too much. I don't understand how you girls do this.

[Amari]

It's.

[Tana Mongeau]

Who said that? Caitlyn Jenner. She's like, I don't know how you girls do it. It's so funny.

[Aaron]

Heels today.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. It's so funny, though, because, like, this is literally me, like, leg hair and all.

[Aaron]

Brooklyn, you couldn't have shaved your legs. I didn't know until two minutes ago.

[Tana Mongeau]

First of all, welcome back to the canceled podcast.

[Aaron]

Hello. It's actually really funny because. Because, I mean, I know you don't really love Reddit. I don't give a fuck what people say on Reddit. Like, I just read it. I'm just like, you don't know me. Whatever. But last episode, Paige and I were sharing a mic, and people literally thought that I was trying to keep as far away from you as possible. And I was like, you guys were sharing a mic? They even got into like, oh, no, Amari's left handed, I'm right handed. Paige and I were just sharing a mic.

[Amari]

I know. And they're like, I can read his body language. Like, he told me this. Also, there was like a. At the end of it, I'm like, I'm like, we gotta go, we gotta go. And Tannin goes like, let's end Brooke Brooks over it. And I got cooked so bad. We had meet and greet after that. So I got so many comments that were like, oh, do you have somewhere else better to be? Like.

[Aaron]

And we'd already been podcasting for so long that day to the point where we had to, like, switch locations.

[Amari]

I know. I was just like. You know how I get, like. I get so anxious when I feel like people are, like, waiting or something. And, like. But. But then we had the girls, so, like, we wanted to obviously be, like, there for the girls. I don't know. Anyway, just know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't.

[Amari]

Context matters.

[Aaron]

People are so crazy. I just love, like, the way people, like, I'm like, damn. You really have time to speculate.

[Amari]

No, but I did say something wrong in that episode. Bad. I said that. I didn't.

[Tana Mongeau]

No one cares about Vincent. No, no.

[Amari]

I didn't say no one cares. I said, nobody knows what you're talking about.

[Tana Mongeau]

Nobody knows who they are.

[Amari]

No, no. I said nobody knows what you're talking about.

[Aaron]

You said nobody knows who you're talking about. I do.

[Amari]

I know, but that was. First of all, I was so wrong. And second of all, I thought. I think I was just, like, being a. Like, I was just like, I know.

[Tana Mongeau]

It'S like, you don't like to film for long, and that's okay.

[Amari]

I don't. And I got grumpy. But, like, you can't do that and, like, justice for them because, like, they didn't. They just caught a stray out of nowhere because I was just being a. Like, for no reason. And, like, I watched it back and I was like, damn. Like, what was she going through at.

[Aaron]

The end of the day? Like, you're on tour, you're hungry, you're waiting for your chili's. There was a meat.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but it's just, like, something I'm filming long. I. Bb.

[Amari]

If she's pissing me off, I'd be like, no one knows what you're talking about or something.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I mean?

[Amari]

Like, yeah.

[Aaron]

And it's just like. I don't know. I feel like there's a closeness between all of us that it's like we all talk to each certain type of.

[Amari]

Sam and Colby were not Sam and Colby. No, no, no, no, no. What are their names?

[Aaron]

Sam and Vincent.

[Tana Mongeau]

Sam and Colby. It's so funny. There's just Sam and Colby, right?

[Aaron]

Holy ghost. Yes, there is. There is.

[Amari]

Okay, well, now I made it worse. Sam and Vincent, they didn't deserve it, and I'm sorry.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, I love that.

[Aaron]

Speaking of Sam and Colby, you know, one time years ago, I told Sam that he Looks like Ed Sheeran if he was hot. And, like, I fucking love Ed Sheeran. I've been Ed Sheeran's biggest fan, like, for the longest time. One of the first artists I was ever, like, knew, like, every song on the album, front to back. Like, I love him. So I did not think that that was going to. Like, he was like, you're an. I was like, what?

[Tana Mongeau]

What? Sam said that?

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

He was like, that's evil. That's one of the meanest things someone's ever said to me.

[Amari]

And I'm like, you're only supposed to tell someone they look like somebody if that person is significantly better looking than them.

[Aaron]

I think Sam is significantly better looking.

[Amari]

I know, but I'm saying Ed Sheeran should have been significant. Like. Like, if I came up to, you know, somebody and said that they looked like somebody who was way prettier than them, I did that to somebody one time. I literally told this girl. I was like, oh, my God. Like, you look so much like. Do people tell you no one has ever told her this, by the way. Do people tell you you look like Lauren Gray? Because I was, like, trying to make this girl's day, Okay? I was, like, really trying to give her a major compliment. And this girl was like, no. And she was like, ew, don't say that. Like, something like that. And I literally wanted to be like, lauren Gray is so much prettier. Like, I wanted to say that because I'm like, no. But, like, you. You are not gonna.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, you're not above that.

[Amari]

Yeah. You're not about to say that like, you're offended that you look like one of the most beautiful girls ever. Like, you're so fucking weird. I literally want to smack her in the head and say, no wonder no one told you that.

[Aaron]

Never mind, bitch youh're.

[Amari]

Yeah, I was like. I was floored, I tell you.

[Aaron]

But I think it was really funny that you were talking about, like, the bleeding Oliver Elton John's house story, because you guys want to know something? I don't know if you know the story, but back in high school, I'm.

[Tana Mongeau]

About to get cooked as King Ty.

[Aaron]

Oh, yes. Oh, and you deserve to be for this. Back in high school, we have sleepovers all the time or whatever, and one day, she wakes up before me. Her dad picks her up, and she leaves. And I wake up, I'm like, oh, where's Taylor? Whatever. I go into my bathroom, and it's like. It's my personal bathroom. I go into my bathroom.

[Tana Mongeau]

This is so Unfair. I have no control over this as well.

[Aaron]

And I'm like why is there like blood on the toilet? Like I think and like kind of like dripping down the side of it.

[Tana Mongeau]

No. Like I have no control over this being told. Right.

[Aaron]

I am so confused. Like. Like what? Like who is bleeding? And I'm like okay, like obviously girls have periods. Whatever. I look to the side of the toilet. There is a bloody tampon. Bloody ass tampon sitting on the floor. I just want to miss the trash can.

[Amari]

So you just told me a story about the time you threw a tampon on the floor. Now he's telling me a different story of a time you threw a tampon on the floor. Isn't there a third story about you throwing a tampon on the floor? Like some assistant came out and said she had to pick it up.

[Tana Mongeau]

No assistant had to ever pick up my tampon off the floor.

[Amari]

Was I thinking of the Jordan story then?

[Tana Mongeau]

Probably yes. Like no, I would never do that.

[Amari]

Somebody like.

[Tana Mongeau]

And Jordan didn't have to clean that. I was just so blacked out that she was like helping me.

[Amari]

But I was thinking there was a third story.

[Tana Mongeau]

There was the tampon in Turks where I took it out on the beach and I dug a little hole like a rabbit.

[Aaron]

But I don't mid argument too mid argument takes her. Takes her tampon out.

[Amari]

I know they're not biodegradable either. They're. That thing's probably.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I ended up taking it inside after I cooled down.

[Amari]

But I don't believe this.

[Tana Mongeau]

I promise, I promise, I promise.

[Aaron]

I have to clean up this tampon myself. Cuz what I'm going to be like Deborah, there's a bloody tampon on my floor. Like no, I had to clean it myself. And I threw up into the toilet instantly. Cuz I was so the fact that.

[Tana Mongeau]

You kept being my friend is crazy. Like in high school. Like that's terms for termination.

[Aaron]

The fact that you just dipped out after doing that is crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

I promise you it wasn't on purpose. Like I probably meant to make the trash can. I also just flush tampons now. Like I do too. And you know what?

[Amari]

Like sorry, never mind, keep going.

[Aaron]

You know I always know she's used a bathroom too is cuz the toilet paper will always be like at the floor.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay, that goes back to my whole type A thing. How the do people.

[Aaron]

It's always. What do you mean put it back?

[Amari]

I knew. I know you were about to say put it back. No one else is even detaching it from the wall.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, just know what it said that my. Like she always comes down and touches the ground. But I don't understand how anyone. Like, she is the only person I've seen like this.

[Amari]

Exactly.

[Aaron]

She's the only person I've seen in my entire life.

[Amari]

It's always two hand tasks, by the way. You pull it and then you hold onto the little roll and you rip it off.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, I just really want someone to say something nice to me. You look amazing.

[Amari]

Beautiful as King Tut. It's bringing out your yellow eyes, Tanna.

[Aaron]

In bathrooms they are.

[Amari]

They're like gold. Like gold green.

[Tana Mongeau]

They are kind of yellow.

[Aaron]

I can't see shit. Cuz it's all pink.

[Tana Mongeau]

By the way, I'm really sorry about that tampon. And I'm really sad that it's in the same episode as Elton John tampon. Because now it's just like there's no. The Elton John tampon being a real sentence too. Is just so mad Lib. I just. I'm. I. Yeah, I have nothing really quick.

[Amari]

I. There was like this huge controversy online recently because that girl, Natalie Joy, and I don't know why I said that girl, she's. I like literally know her, she talked about how she flushes tampons and like the whole Internet was like, are you stupid? Like, I've never even heard of that. And I'm like, I've never not flushed a tampon.

[Tana Mongeau]

I. I understand. If I'm in a place where there's a sign that says not to, I'll follow the rules. Or if I'm somewhere with footy irrigation. Okay. If it.

[Amari]

Look, if it's like the toilet looks like it's like older than like 5 years old, I will flush it or I'll. I'll put it in the shop. Well, like, you know what I mean? Like, if it's a porcelain toilet, that's.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like one of like.

[Amari]

I don't. A toilet is no longer porcelain these days.

[Tana Mongeau]

Unless 100% will make sure when I'm moving into a house that there is like toto toilets. Because I'm not. I think it's so gross in the trash can.

[Aaron]

I agree. Because I would be so disgusted. Like, honestly, like if I went into someone's bathroom and I saw bloody Tampa.

[Amari]

No, it's more so like the sm. But the smell.

[Aaron]

Oh, I've never. Well, I mean the smell that I smelt that one time was actually pretty crazy.

[Amari]

Well, it's. I know it as the smell of like the girls bathroom in middle school because that's when, like, everybody starts their periods and I just know they were like, all confused.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. I'm still that confused. But I will say I do.

[Aaron]

So didn't you just make a tick tock about how you're like blood on the walls and the light switch or something like that?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, yeah.

[Amari]

You. You know, what's your best friend in that scenario? A magic eraser.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're so right. No, not.

[Aaron]

She's like, wait, if people find the time to get a magic eraser.

[Amari]

No, you should have them, like, you should literally have them on your, like, countertop. Because that is like a magic eraser can do anything except for remove a spray tan. Do not do that.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know that Brooke said that one time on the Cancel podcast that she uses magic erasers to remove her spray tan. And then Lauren Gray did it and she got a chemical burn.

[Amari]

Chemical burn. I'm so sorry, Lauren.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that was kind of the moment that we realized that we can't just be giving advice on this podcast.

[Amari]

No, but that was a lesson to the people. Never take medical advice from the canceled podcast. Not that that's really medical advice. Never take any advice from the canceled podcast. Except for earlier when we said don't do drugs.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I wanna. Can we talk about what I want to talk about?

[Aaron]

Hell yeah, we can. Okay, guys, so last episode that I was on, actually, we were talking about how I'm newly single and you're gonna love this shit. So we had broken up, like, prior to our breakup and we got back together. And you being willing to do this.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dress, like, this is so awesome.

[Amari]

I was just thinking the same thing. I'm taking a break from my massage because it's literally like, yeah, the wig.

[Aaron]

Is really itchy, but whatever. And so we, we broke up and then we had a talk that got us back together. Amongst this talk, I. When we were in Europe, I had noticed that there's this boy that he was following and they were friends, they were co workers and stuff. But like, the guy's good looking and like, he's successful and stuff and whatever. I don't know how close they actually are. I've met him like twice and stuff. So it's like, I know they're not like besties. And so I noticed the way that they were commenting on each other's photos after I like, did some stalking and stuff. And it was like, there's hard eyes and there's just like all this, like, stupid, like, share whatever. But at the same time, I'm like, okay, let me Calm myself down. Like, they could just be like homies or whatever. So when we have this conversation to like get back together and stuff, I was like, okay, let me just bring this up before it haunts me. And I say, I say, how close are you? And so, and so. Because I noticed some comments when I was talking his Instagram and I was like, stalking your Instagram? And I was seeing these comments and it just makes me a little uncomfortable.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

And I feel like it takes a lot to make me uncomfortable. Clearly.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

And he was like, it was kind of like a you're crazy, like, we're just friends, blah, blah, blah type of thing. But I'm just like, but here's what.

[Tana Mongeau]

I want to say. Okay. These comments, can you bring up the Valentine's Day comment in specific?

[Aaron]

He posted a photo on Instagram, is like, will you be my valentine? And then that would do it for me. My ex boyfriend commented on it. Absolutely. Mind you, we spent Valentine's Day together. Like, been there. We like had a picnic and stuff. And like, it was just like.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I understand benefit of the doubt, you were even saying this in a way where you were like, I could.

[Aaron]

Just be crazy, you know, and like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Overthinking it could like, Ari could post something and you could comment on it like, daddy harder. It's like, you and Ari are that close as friends and like, you know what I mean?

[Aaron]

Like, he, he would know.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you also hadn't met this guy enough. And if you're dating someone for so long and it is their close friend that they're close enough to be commenting like that. Amari should know that more than twice. Right. And so then I just didn't appreciate that. In my opinion, he gaslit the fuck out of you. Like, you're crazy. That's crazy. Like, what? I'm your boyfriend. I've only met this person twice. And you guys are commenting on each other's photos like that. And he's good looking and he's gay and he's single.

[Amari]

Like, yeah. And you guys are spending all this time together if you guys have worked together.

[Aaron]

So then today we still follow each other on Instagram because. Gotta stay lurking. Duh. I see that they're at like, I don't know if they're at like an orchard or a vineyard or something like that together, but he posts something like, of them like picking apples or something. And it's like that. That is so fall date coded.

[Tana Mongeau]

And your ex is so the type to do that as a date.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's Hard too. Because a couple days prior you posted with your ex.

[Aaron]

Yes, I was trying to stir the mother fucking pot.

[Tana Mongeau]

So then was he doing that to stir the pot back?

[Aaron]

I don't. Well, he started it by posting practically a fucking nude on his Instagram. Okay, thirsty.

[Amari]

But at the same time, like I.

[Aaron]

Said last episode, I did talk about how I got back on Hinge. Also, my teams have been flooded by the way, with so many. So many turbulent that are your guys fans. I don't really respond to them, but I have also gotten a lot of Genshin Impact players DMing me and now I have so many friends that play Genshin Impact. So.

[Tana Mongeau]

Haha, you showed us. Can I tell you something though? I talked all that shit about Genshin Impact and then the week later I get an ad for a game called Travel Town. And I just want to say this game is ruining my life.

[Amari]

So funny that you fall victim to like a game ad. Like I can't even. I just swipe right out of it.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I see the ads and I download them all the time. I'm like the prime victim for like genuinely gaming ads. That's so funny.

[Amari]

Like I can't even picture it.

[Tana Mongeau]

But if you think about it, it's very me coded. Like I'm such a like instant dopamine addiction. Whether it's vaping, whether it's alcohol, whether it's gambling, whether it's anything like that. So it like phone games get me so hard. But this game is so stupid. There is. So this is not an ad. Okay. But if you want to sponsor me, I would love to stop sending my real money on it. They actually did send me some energy in the game because they saw that I posted a tick tock about it. So like that is so funny. I'm trying to stay in good graces. I've spent hundreds of US dollars on it in the past week and I'm literally buying a house. Like I need that for like the tiles in the kitchen. Like I can't the whole game. All you do is you sit there and you like merge seashells to make better seashells. There's no purpose. There's no final boss. There's no nothing. It's taking over my life. All I think about is Travel Town and I talked all that shit about Genshin Impact. It's like at least I almost wish I was at least playing like a roller coaster tycoon. Like something where I could like feel.

[Amari]

I don't think it's that big of a deal because there are times in your life that you would just sit there and do take a perkset.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're right. You are right. There could be worse. But it's just like, I never thought I'd be 26, dressed as King Tut with a travel town addiction. I thought I'd have two kids. Like, I thought I'd have two kids any day now.

[Amari]

When is it? When should we start having kids, you think? Ooh, I'm thinking about it in terms of canceled. Like, if I came here and I was like, fuck. Like, got it. By the way.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think now, really, like, if I wasn't afraid of being pregnant, I would already have kids. No, I wouldn't. I'm lying, right?

[Amari]

No, I just, like, I'm afraid it's gonna, like, really, like, knock me down the.

[Aaron]

Like, you get your driver's license first, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Amari]

You can't be a soccer mom with no van.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, can we just circle back, though? It is always the person they tell you not to worry about.

[Amari]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Aaron]

It's always the person they tell you.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it's so funny because I genuinely, like, this guy was so unlike people you've dated. I almost felt like you had found, like, your makoa, in a sense. That was so. Pick me. I didn't need to say it like that.

[Amari]

Well, no, but I know what you're saying. Like, he was so, like, it was.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, oh, my God, such a nice guy. Even with those comments, like, in London, when you asked me, like, hey, should I be worried about this? I very much said to you that 99 of people you were dating. I would say yes, but this guy is such a. Yeah. Anomaly of a good guy. He's nothing like, like any of us. Like, no drama. Like, just so honest. And so it's. It was really shocking for me, the Instagram story today, and I want him dead. I'm going to respond to it later.

[Aaron]

I don't know if you should respond because then it's also like, what if it reverts back to the whole, like, we're just friends.

[Amari]

Yeah. And then we look crazy. We. I'm like, and then you look crazy. But, yeah, I don't know. I do. I've been feeding into all BB's drama because I'm like, you're not gonna do my.

[Tana Mongeau]

I need to have BB on to talk about her Bobby Blandino lore. That is. I feel like I've been watching a episode of Bad girls club with BB's life as of late, but we gotta have her on to talk about it. Yeah, she like was selling his depop, I think. And then she told me that she dropped it off at Buffalo Exchange. I know.

[Amari]

And now she's getting like these DMS about the teapot. It's like such a deeply like rooted. It's just so interesting. Like the many different like moving parts.

[Tana Mongeau]

There are of this situation we have to have her on to talk about.

[Amari]

And like in the dozen of like brown haired, blue eyed girls who are involved in this situation.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. They all like have the same exact look. It's such a. It's so nutty.

[Aaron]

The only question I will ask because I know you guys want to talk about it with BB is were they like, were they dating?

[Amari]

No, it was like, it was definitely a situation that I always find myself in where it's like, you are walks like a duck, talks like a duck, does not want to be a duck.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah, he.

[Amari]

He was like, they were spending every week and second together. And then she's like, should we date?

[Tana Mongeau]

And he's like, no, it's just hard because it's like when these boys become famous for being hot, they're going to act accordingly and you always want to hope that they're not.

[Amari]

Yeah. You know what he told one of her other one. One of the other girls. He said that he's afraid of BB because he's afraid we're going to talk about him on the cancel podcast. I'm like, humble yourself. And here I am talking with a mustache on my cheek.

[Aaron]

Look at us right now.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it's nothing against them as people.

[Amari]

Like, no, it's just like you don't. It's kind of one of those things. It's like if you're gonna go for a tick tock boy, you have to.

[Tana Mongeau]

You have to know 100. Like, I, I think they're so fun. I have them at my parties, whatever. But I just, I want BB to find someone.

[Amari]

Dude, BB crafts me though, because all her character characters are so different. Like she'll call me and she'll be like, Spikes is on the phone. The on the other line. I'm like, who the is Spikes? What?

[Tana Mongeau]

She was just her stepmom era too. Like, yeah, I had a three year.

[Amari]

Old step mommy guy. She had spikes. She had a guy who she just, she saw for like two years and then told me that he lives in his shed.

[Aaron]

Holy fuck.

[Tana Mongeau]

We need to have her on and unpack. Yeah, we really do because I just fucking love her so fucking much. The after the show in Seattle. Portland. Portland it was so funny. We had like a big dinner table rented out and this big back room because we thought everyone was coming. And then you fucking. You don't come. Everyone doesn't come. So it's just like five of us at this big ass dinner table. And they gave us a speaker because it was like the back room of this restaurant. And BB's playing Lana Del Rey sobbing at the head of the table. Like, so main character, you know, the waitress was like. She's like, how do you want your steak?

[Aaron]

She really does have so many characters, too. I remember for a period of time, like, when Paige was like. I think it was Paige that was on Raya or whatever, and she would say, like, there was like, every single boy that she, like, had, like, interest in or whatever. It was always like, the one friend in common was be.

[Amari]

I was on Hinge. It was every single photo like, like by B. Balls. I almost thought she had someone else doing it for her, dude. Because I'm like half the time, but I'm not kidding. She'll be hinging at the wheel, I'll look over and I'm like, am I in danger?

[Aaron]

That is hilarious.

[Amari]

She is so amazing. I love her.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love her more than anything in the world. I really do. And I know Bibi's gonna find the right guy. And I'm so excited for the wedding. Like, you know what I mean? I just. I am.

[Amari]

She would be the best. Like, she. She is the best girlfriend to me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron]

Bibi is awesome.

[Tana Mongeau]

I want to talk about Smile, the movie. Have you seen it?

[Amari]

No.

[Tana Mongeau]

You need to go.

[Amari]

I saw the first one I had, so you need.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I watched Smile too.

[Amari]

The girl in the second one. I saw the trailer and I was like, someone should get ahead of it with this girl because she's about to pop off.

[Tana Mongeau]

She ate down. It is one of the best scary movies I have seen, like, a modern day scary movie in so long. Like, in my. And it's. They're definitely gonna make a third one. It is like, so has the potential to be like, this generations, like, Scream or. You know what I mean? Really?

[Amari]

I have a hard time with scary movies sometimes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Smile really freaked me out. The first smile, I actually left the premiere because I remember that I went to the premiere and it's in one of those, like, bougie theaters where all the seats, like, lay as bed, so there's only like 15 people. And it's all like, influencers, right? And I have a really fucking serious problem where I scream at jump Scares so obnoxiously. I cannot help it. Like, I cannot hold it in. Even if I take a little, like, zanny or get high, try to calm myself down, it's still. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. And we're in this premiere with, like, Lauren gray and, like, 15 other influences.

[Amari]

Lauren gray catching three references.

[Tana Mongeau]

She's like, leave me alone.

[Aaron]

This is now the Lauren Gray.

[Amari]

No.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I couldn't stop screaming. And it was like other influencers were, like, laughing at me. So I left the premiere. I was like, too embarrassing.

[Amari]

I thought it was because they didn't have alcohol.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, we got our own.

[Amari]

That was a different one.

[Aaron]

We postmated our own.

[Amari]

Yeah, I remember Natalie, like, brought in, like, seven bottles one time.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, that was the same premiere. I was sober at the time, but that was everyone else's issue. But so I ended up watching the end of Smile one on my own time, and then we went to see Smile 2. Brooks, get this. Okay, first of all, Smile has always, like. It really, like, is one of those movies that freaks me the fuck out. Like, after seeing it, I don't want anyone to smile at me ever. Like, it's, like, just very scary. Like, it's like. Yeah, like, that's so scary. Okay, anyways, we go in and the plotline of this movie is, like, she's a touring singer. Okay, She's a touring singer. We were two days off of tour. She's, like, in her green rooms, like, doing so many things that, like, we do. And she goes to, like, pick up from a drug dealer. Obviously, I've been in so many places of life like this. Okay, no longer now, but. And then he ends up infecting her with the smile like disease, and I'm gonna, like, spoil it a little, but she, like, essentially, it's like once someone smiles at you and.

[Amari]

Yeah, that's how the first one was, Right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Dies in front of you with a smile. You're infected. And, like, that's how it, like, spreads. And she ends up, like, going on stage with it at the very end and infecting everyone.

[Amari]

Wow. That literally just got me.

[Tana Mongeau]

I did not sleep like that at all the next night. Like, it is such a fucked up movie. It's insane. And it was, like, just so close to, like. Like, I'm sitting there and I'm like, there's no fucking way. This is the plot. Like, we're one day off tour and that's the fucking plot.

[Amari]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Aaron]

Then, like, the meet and greet scene, The Meet that.

[Tana Mongeau]

That circles me back to my stalker. Okay. There's a meet and greet scene where, like, a fan comes up with a smile. And now I'm going to be like, if one. And it's so fucked up, too. After we were leaving the theater, the janitor looks at me and he goes, did you enjoy the movie? Like, did it to me. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Amari]

I don't. You don't?

[Tana Mongeau]

I can't. And then he told me I look like Alex Cooper and asked me if I host caller daddy. So there's that. I don't. I wish I did. She's serving, by the way, the fucking snl, everything. I love Alex Cooper. Anyways, I'm circling fully back to just creepy people at the meet and greet. You know, my stalker and you know his lore. You know everything about this man. And I always say that he, like, comes in waves, right?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, he'll stalk the out of me and do a bunch of crazy shit, and then he'll, like, chill out for, like, couple months, and then he'll be, like, right back. Right. And so the other night after our show at dinner, Amari opens his phone, and he's like, Mr. Stalker just DM'd me. And, like, he doesn't DM you often?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I get, like, the least.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Because I'm not. I get the least of it because I'm, like, not a girl.

[Amari]

Wait, what happened to your hair?

[Aaron]

It was getting really itchy. I've had it on for some time.

[Amari]

I know. I keep wanting to take my mustache off, but I'm afraid of being clipped.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm wearing this till three days from now.

[Amari]

You look cozy.

[Tana Mongeau]

So he's DMing Amare, which usually to me is a flag and a sign that that means he's going to ramp up again. Right. Like, when he starts reaching out to the friends and, like, whatever. So I go to his DMS and he DMS me, like, every single day, as if we're having full conversations. And I've always said, like, I don't block him. I don't follow him back. I don't engage at all. And obviously, even talking about it, I know, yeah, could be good or bad, but whatever. Honestly, I have someone sitting outside my house with a Glock 9 right now.

[Amari]

Sure do. And I saw him pull it out when I pulled up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Really?

[Amari]

Yeah, because there was a crazy outside, and he was like. They were literally, like, having a standoff. And I was like, hey, I'm. So I told. I thought I told you that that's like full Glock in here.

[Tana Mongeau]

He's like, hey, sweetie, you're just like mustache.

[Amari]

He was a crackhead. So it was like fine.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, the crackies are not as scary to me as my stalker. Right? Yeah, but so anyways, I go to my DMs with my stalker and he'd been DMing me all day. But do you want to get this? Brooke, you and I, when we walked into our green rooms at the show at the first day in la, we look in our green rooms and there's flowers. And they let us know that those are flowers from a fan. They were beautiful. They had photos of us attached. They were silk flowers, Peppa flowers. Whatever. My stalker responds and says, happy to see you got the flowers.

[Amari]

No, that can't be right. Because the girl who owns the company messaged me about it. Right. I remember there were real flowers and then there were a set of fake flowers. I wonder if they were from different. Cuz each of us got two bouquets.

[Aaron]

I do remember Seth saying like, these are from a fan.

[Amari]

Yeah. And she tagged us in it and was like, I. I figured you'd want these colors cuz your apartment's this color. So I think they weren't from him. Maybe he sent different flowers and thought you got those.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know. I'm just. I fear we're in the season. He always waits till this time of year.

[Aaron]

Tell me happy birthday. And mind you, like, he hasn't messaged me in like months. Like I'm sure he probably messages the girls, but he really leaves me alone for the most part.

[Amari]

Can you show me his thing? I want to see if he messages me.

[Tana Mongeau]

What does he say to you?

[Amari]

Why does tant.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, sometimes he calls me ugly. And it's so funny because it's like my own damn stalker. He messaged me the other day and he was like looking a little pale. Oh, it's like you're stalking me. You're stalking me. What do you mean looking a little pale? Like, if you think he'll be like looking a little tired.

[Amari]

Wait, why do you kind of. He said I posted that I wanted a baby because I was with a baby. And he said, the things we ask for on the Internet when we have willing donors.

[Aaron]

Oh, great.

[Amari]

Oh man. Gotta block him.

[Tana Mongeau]

Don't block him.

[Aaron]

Which is so scary. Halloween, because imagine him like at a party, in costume. Michael Myers.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh my God, it is so scary. Like it's. He's just so scary. I was showing Macoa more photos from the other day. Because Nicole was tripping after the flowers. And I'm just like, I wish so badly he was, like, the body type that I could take. Like, he's just a big, burly ass man.

[Amari]

Yeah. That's spooky. I'm watching the Zodiac Killer, like, three episode thing right now, and it's me up.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so scary. That is like, just, like, whatever. Well, I mean, I feel like we should move over to the Patreon, but I just want to say this is my favorite look we've all ever had. I love it. We love you, Aaron.

[Amari]

Thank you. Baby Elvis. We put him to bed.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we put baby Elvis to bed. But I love you guys so much. By the way, I just want to say, if I was weird on today's episode. So my doctor changed my Adderall prescription.

[Amari]

Oh, to what?

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, it's not that. It's like, you know how the shortages are.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

So, like, the ones I always get, like, weren't available. And so I picked up these other ones, like, prescribed to me.

[Amari]

But. What kind?

[Tana Mongeau]

They're white squares. Oh. Which is so weird.

[Amari]

A square Adderall.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I. He's given me these before. And I just. I remember I took it one time to edit, and I never took it again because I felt.

[Amari]

Is it Adderall, though? It's not like Ritalin.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's like, generic for Adderall. Like, it's one of those.

[Amari]

Huh.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I mean? But I took.

[Amari]

Isn't that just like, amphetamine salts?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, but it wasn't just those. Like, obviously it's a white square. It's weird as fuck. I took it today and I'm touring houses and I'm having to, like, hold the. The walls while I walk. Like, my spatial awareness has been.

[Amari]

So maybe that's what happened with the tampons.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm done. That's how I'm ending the episode.

[Amari]

If I'm acting weird, it's because I can't smile.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just. I feel a little weird and off today, but I can't express to you enough. Being Trisha Paytas as King Top was the highlight of my year.

[Amari]

Me too. But I kind of matched, like, Moses's energy because I feel like he doesn't. Like, he doesn't crack up laughing much.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's true.

[Aaron]

He's always just like.

[Amari]

He's very. Matter of fact.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Amari]

And only speaks when spoken to.

[Tana Mongeau]

There are tunnels under la, Zach Bryan is on Raya.

[Aaron]

You should ask Paris Hilton about those tunnels.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. That's a good person. That's a good one. Oh, my God. I'm supposed to see her tonight. Oh, and I'm dressed like King Tut. We gotta go. Let's go over to Patreon and talk.

[Aaron]

What are you supposed to do with her?

[Tana Mongeau]

She has, like, an event. Oh, I guess the makeup's kind of Paris.

[Aaron]

Yeah, the makeup. At least you're, like, in glamour.

[Tana Mongeau]

The Glamon question. Oh, okay. We gotta go. We'll be on the Patreon talking canceled.

[Aaron]

I love you guys. Thanks for having me.