116: TANA’S HORROR STORY MIAMI TRIP… - Ep. 115

Summary

Podcast Summary: Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield – Episode 116: TANA’S HORROR STORY MIAMI TRIP… - Ep. 115

Release Date: April 8, 2025
Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield
Produced by: Cancelled & Audioboom Studios

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1. Studio Woes and Unused Spaces (00:00 - 00:32)

The episode kicks off with Tana Mongeau and Brooke Schofield reminiscing about their elaborate studio setup in Tana’s house. Tana humorously laments the hefty investment:

Tana Mongeau [00:00]: "Remember when we paid, like, upwards of $20,000 for a studio and it's, like, done, and we just keep coming here, and it's, like, rotting at my house. Yeah."

Brooke questions the practicality of maintaining a permanent studio while they are perpetually on tour.

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2. Personal Relationships and Social Media Drama (00:54 - 01:36)

Brooke opens up about being blocked by Zach Brian, delving into the complexities of online interactions and past conflicts:

Brooke Schofield [00:54]: "I think it's crazy that Zach Brian blocked me. And, like, I get it sometimes."

Tana supports Brooke, adding humor to the situation:

Tana Mongeau [01:05]: "You're just killing it. Like, she was, like, just telling the room, and I was like, yes, bitch."

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3. Tana’s Illness Post-Miami Trip (01:50 - 02:29)

Tana shares her ordeal after returning from Miami, attributing her sudden illness to the hectic and chaotic environment:

Tana Mongeau [01:50]: "I got back from Miami, I had a lot of stripper ass in my face and I think I caught something."

Despite feeling ill, Tana commends Brooke for her unwavering dedication to the podcast:

Tana Mongeau [02:12]: "I'm sick as fuck. ... the energy I'm almost bringing to the podcast today feels like old canceled when I'd come on, like, hungover and, like, nothing to lose."

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4. Miami Trip Highlights and Challenges (01:50 - 07:44)

The hosts dive deep into Tana’s chaotic Miami experience, highlighting crowded club appearances and the grueling Ultra Miami festival. Tana vividly describes the overcrowded venues and the unpleasant conditions:

Tana Mongeau [05:34]: "I did a club appearance for, like, four hours. I met, like, 400 fans... but the bathroom smells like dead body, so I have to hold it."

Brooke empathizes with Tana's discomfort, emphasizing the overwhelming nature of such events.

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5. Brooke’s Plastic Surgery Journey (16:33 - 21:13)

Brooke Schofield announces her upcoming eyelid surgery, discussing societal pressures and personal aesthetics:

Brooke Schofield [16:33]: "This is the last you're gonna see of these droopy eyelids."

Tana playfully teases Brooke about her decision:

Tana Mongeau [16:40]: "I love that you're just collecting surgeries like infinity stones."

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6. Tackling Health Misinformation (12:19 - 15:45)

The conversation shifts to misinformation surrounding medical conditions. Tana addresses a misleading TikTok video claiming she has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome:

Tana Mongeau [13:34]: "They had listed my phone number... my bones just hurt. Severe nosebleeds, scoliosis... that's why Zach blocked me."

Brooke supports Tana, advocating against victim shaming and misinformation:

Brooke Schofield [14:03]: "Similarly to the Hailey Bieber situation, I think a lot of that is just coincidence."

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7. Media, TV Shows, and Celebrity Engagements (10:01 - 33:53)

The hosts discuss Jake Paul’s engagement, noting a possible glitch in his announcement:

Brooke Schofield [10:01]: "He posted his engagement and he put for real this time. You didn't know that the ghost just moved that off?"

They then transition to discussing popular TV shows like "Grey’s Anatomy" and "Severance." Tana expresses her enthusiasm for both:

Tana Mongeau [34:32]: "Severance is the best television show I've ever watched in my entire life."

Brooke shares insights on "Grey’s Anatomy," applauding Shonda Rhimes for advocating equal pay:

Brooke Schofield [32:54]: "She's so Meredith Gray. And, like, I don't think her character in this is, like, that far off from merit."

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8. Brooke’s Cat Mouse and Hospital Visits (25:03 - 29:55)

Brooke recounts her cat Mouse's penchant for eating non-food items, leading to multiple hospital visits:

Brooke Schofield [25:03]: "He ate a hole in it and ate the. It's not like he like, oh, he bit a hole in it. He ate the whole thing."

She describes a particularly surreal hospital experience where she witnessed a cat undergoing surgery:

Brooke Schofield [27:26]: "It was like, first of all, they were all like in really good spirits... it felt like you were at the emergency room."

Tana likens the experience to scenes from "Grey’s Anatomy," adding humor to the unsettling situation.

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9. Extravagant Wedding Stories (40:54 - 44:45)

Brooke shares her experience as a bridesmaid at a lavish wedding featuring 18 bridesmaids and a magical venue reminiscent of "Bridgerton":

Brooke Schofield [41:50]: "It was very sorority about it. I was like really like transported back into those days."

Tana praises the bride’s inclusive and generous nature, highlighting the deep friendships showcased during the event:

Tana Mongeau [42:00]: "It also weirdly speaks to someone's character in a very positive way."

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10. Real Estate Insights and Investments (72:04 - 74:41)

The discussion shifts to real estate investment strategies. Tana outlines a theoretical approach to property investment by leveraging down payments and rental income:

Tana Mongeau [73:36]: "I feel like I can go put a very, like, in comparison to the $1.2 million small down payment on this place and then just rent it out to people..."

Brooke admits her limited understanding of complex financial strategies, prompting a lighthearted exchange:

Brooke Schofield [73:43]: "I honestly don't understand money."

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11. Photo Shoots and Merchandise Success (59:14 - 61:52)

Tana and Brooke discuss their photo shoot experiences, emphasizing the importance of quality and collaboration. They reflect on the success of their yacht merchandise:

Brooke Schofield [59:14]: "I have to post the toaster quality pictures."

Tana highlights their teamwork in selecting and editing photos to maintain brand integrity:

Tana Mongeau [61:31]: "The yacht merch was our highest sales. ... it's my favorite item we've ever made."

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12. Emotional Moments and Personal Growth (48:26 - 67:56)

Tana opens up about her emotional struggles while writing her book, sharing vulnerable moments of uncontrollable sobbing and introspection:

Tana Mongeau [48:26]: "I was cry and I was scream sobbing because of how sick I am..."

Brooke supports Tana, acknowledging her own journey towards emotional stability:

Brooke Schofield [49:10]: "And I do think I'm out of that phase, or I don't want to call it a phase. I think it's very much a part of my personality, but I'm very stable these days."

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13. Upcoming International Tour and Logistics (52:17 - 80:44)

The hosts express excitement and anxiety about their upcoming international tour, discussing the challenges of traveling while dealing with health issues and caring for pets:

Tana Mongeau [52:17]: "I'm excited for this international tour. If you're in Paris or you're in Oslo or you're in any of these other places, come grab a ticket."

Brooke shares her concerns about home responsibilities and managing everything during the tour, emphasizing the importance of having reliable support:

Brooke Schofield [53:46]: "Mark my words, this might be the craziest decision I've ever made."

They also joke about bringing their assistant, BB, along for support, highlighting the balance between professional commitments and personal well-being.

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14. Miscellaneous Topics and Final Thoughts (81:10 - End)

In the concluding segments, Tana and Brooke touch upon various topics, including their favorite stores like Trashy Lingerie, reflections on Hollywood life, and the complexities of maintaining personal relationships amidst fame.

Tana shares a haunting story about the owner of Trashy Lingerie:

Tana Mongeau [71:35]: "He had to shoot his own brother... his house is attached to the store."

Brooke adds her own unsettling experiences, reinforcing the unpredictable nature of Hollywood.

They wrap up the episode by emphasizing their growth as hosts and their commitment to providing authentic and engaging content for their listeners. Tana humorously mentions her severe illness throughout the recording but assures fans of their ongoing support and upcoming international adventures.

Tana Mongeau [81:36]: "We love you so much, and we're so excited for this international tour."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Tana Mongeau [00:00]: "Remember when we paid, like, upwards of $20,000 for a studio and it's, like, done, and we just keep coming here, and it's, like, rotting at my house. Yeah."
• Brooke Schofield [00:54]: "I think it's crazy that Zach Brian blocked me. And, like, I get it sometimes."
• Tana Mongeau [16:40]: "I love that you're just collecting surgeries like infinity stones."
• Brooke Schofield [25:03]: "He ate a hole in it and ate the. It's not like he like, oh, he bit a hole in it. He ate the whole thing."
• Tana Mongeau [34:32]: "Severance is the best television show I've ever watched in my entire life."
• Tana Mongeau [48:26]: "I was cry and I was scream sobbing because of how sick I am..."
• Tana Mongeau [61:31]: "The yacht merch was our highest sales. ... it's my favorite item we've ever made."
• Tana Mongeau [71:35]: "He had to shoot his own brother... his house is attached to the store."
• Tana Mongeau [81:36]: "We love you so much, and we're so excited for this international tour."

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Conclusion

Episode 116 of "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield" offers an unfiltered and intimate glimpse into the lives of these influential personalities. From personal health struggles and chaotic travel experiences to deep dives into media critiques and personal growth, Tana and Brooke deliver a rich and engaging conversation. Their candidness and humor make this episode both relatable and entertaining, providing valuable insights for both loyal listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Tana Mongeau]

Hello, and welcome back to the cancelled podcast. Remember when we paid, like, upwards of $20,000 for a studio and it's, like, done, and we just keep coming here, and it's, like, rotting at my house. Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know why actually we're here.

[Tana Mongeau]

And do you. You know, the other thing that I think is funny about that is that, like, we're on tour for, like, the rest. Like, why did we build a studio in my house?

[Brooke Schofield]

At least we're not renting it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. But, like, we could. I guess we also didn't really realize how nice it was to do it from here until we were already in the building process. Other than the ghost, it's like, you know.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, no ghost at Tana's home studio, but also no Tana and Brooke. So.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And it's just. It's just sitting there like, it's a fully done studio, and we just keep shooting here. There's more space here. I didn't really think out. Out how small that room is.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, I know. Well, I think it's definitely fine. It's fine for a podcast to do, but there's no, like, viewing area. There's no friends, which is probably good.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm doing this the whole time.

[Tana Mongeau]

Zach Brian blocked you, but you don't want to talk about that. And it was, like, way long ago.

[Brooke Schofield]

She was. I was casually mentioning that in conversation earlier, and Tana demanded that I say, I just think it's crazy that Zach Brian blocked me. And, like, I get it sometimes.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're just killing it. Like, she was, like, just telling the room, and I was like, yes, bitch.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, well, it just feels like, really? Like. Like, what's the. Like, I was gonna say no, but. Why are you saying no? That's how I feel. Like you blocked me. What did I do?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, you were just like, how lucky are we?

[Brooke Schofield]

I hadn't, like. Yeah, it was pretty crazy. Maybe I was slandering him online. That could have been.

[Tana Mongeau]

Were you?

[Brooke Schofield]

No. I feel like he got some Clinton at anything.

[Tana Mongeau]

He got some, like, Clinton shrapnel. Like, oh, we'll put you in the lying artist bucket. We might still stream now and again.

[Brooke Schofield]

But, yeah, you know, and then. Yeah, it was. It was a mess, but.

[Tana Mongeau]

What?

[Brooke Schofield]

The fog. Like, he blocked me.

[Tana Mongeau]

I literally have, like, coronavirus. I don't have Covid. Actually, I shouldn't just say that. Like, don't say that. Like, why? I don't have Covid.

[Brooke Schofield]

What happened?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm really fudgeing sick. I literally, like, I feel like old Me would have canceled the whole day today, but I decided not to. I respect that about you youu know what I mean? I decided just, you know, raw dog it through life. I got back from Miami, I had a lot of stripper ass in my face and I think I caught something.

[Brooke Schofield]

Don't blame them.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, there was a lot of, like, hole in my face. Like, I'm not even.

[Brooke Schofield]

Whose fault is that?

[Tana Mongeau]

Me. I was loving it. I was loving it. I love strippers and. But now I'm just. I'm sick as fuck. And, like, the energy I'm almost bringing to the podcast today feels like old canceled when I'd come on, like, hungover and, like, nothing to lose. Like, take me out now. Like, that's how I feel for today's episode.

[Brooke Schofield]

I love that. But, you know, it's crazy. I think about that sometimes because we used to always do canceled. Either hungover or drunk or usually both.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, lash on the cheek. Like, I used to show up to, like, my own podcast. So fudgeing beat. So fudgeing ugly yet. Brooke. I'll, like, see a clip and it's like, maybe. Maybe some bronzing drops.

[Brooke Schofield]

I should have stayed away from the bronzing drops, the contour, everything. And I had a white claw on each hand. It was a mess. But maybe that's why we were more fun then.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And just podcasting blacked out is so funny to think about now because it's like anything that's coming out of your mouth. Tana shouldn't be right.

[Brooke Schofield]

But, you know, you live and you learn.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm like, so delirious. Sudafed it out. Like, I'm like, Sudafed.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, is, like, crazier than, like, Molly to me. I don't even know if I've tried Molly.

[Tana Mongeau]

But no, Sudafed is fucking meth. That's why they make you show your id, because you can make meth with Sudafed.

[Brooke Schofield]

Really?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. That's why they make you show your id. Think I could just be making that up, but I've heard that a lot in life.

[Brooke Schofield]

I love spreading misinformation. There's one thing about me is I'm going to come on this podcast and spread misinformation.

[Tana Mongeau]

Speaking of that, I saw this clip the other day of us just butchering every international name. And by us, I kind of mean me.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, I have one. I cannot say Belfast. Belfast.

[Tana Mongeau]

Let me see. Let me go. I saved it to, like.

[Brooke Schofield]

I also can't say Wilshire. I say Wilshire.

[Tana Mongeau]

I prefer Wilshire. I was on Wilshire today.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know you can't say on Ontario at all.

[Tana Mongeau]

What is it? Ontario.

[Brooke Schofield]

But so much hubbub has been made about it that I don't know which it is.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know which.

[Brooke Schofield]

You say void in Ontario, which makes me think it is Ontario. I don't know why, but drug and alcohol helpline.

[Tana Mongeau]

In the top corner, Amish Erin. Just looking up, Sudafed used to make crystal meth. And, like, getting paid the big bucks for it is so funny to me. Drugs, ie.

[Brooke Schofield]

Wait, but did you have fun in Miami, at least?

[Tana Mongeau]

Brooke Amber Schofield, my sweet, sweet princess fucking angel. Okay? And I'm sure there's a Miami that I've never tapped into. Okay? I'm sure there's a little dock by the water and there's a fucking hotel. Cute little, you know, white sand vibes. But, like, I obviously went to the Miami that I once loved. I went into the Miami that I would once do on two CB and no sleep. And that Miami, you know, I truly like throughout it, too. I feel like most things, my takeaway is like, wow, this is better sober. Life is amazing sober. And my takeaway from that was like, I would need to relapse in order to enjoy this. Like, just the bus, another club, another club. Bus energy of Miami. It was like, I landed. Oh, my God, Dinner. And then, like, the next day, I get up, I did a club appearance for, like, four hours. I met, like, 400 fans, mind you. All of the fans were using the my club appearance as a pregame to go to Ultra Miami. So everyone's bedazzled out. Like, I'm gonna shit myself right now. Like, actually. But the bathroom smells like dead body, so I have to hold it, and I'm just farting, but at least. Am I gonna shit myself?

[Brooke Schofield]

Are you gonna shit yourself?

[Tana Mongeau]

Am I gonna shit myself?

[Brooke Schofield]

Wait, put your. Put your sweatshirt down. At least they're white. And nice chairs. In fact, let me get my shirt.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think I'm okay, but, like, oh, my God. That was, like, the closest call I've ever had on the camp.

[Brooke Schofield]

Be careful, because sometimes it's. You really just don't know. And I, you know, I shit myself pretty recently. Well, don't. Don't test it.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's a lot of cold medicine and a lot of cold brew, and a lot of it'll go right through.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, but if there's one thing about us is, it's. We're gonna make this about ourselves somehow.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dude, I'm so Sorry. Like, it's just like. I'm sorry.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, and that bathroom smells like body dead. Like carcass.

[Brooke Schofield]

It does smell like carcass.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know, I forgot what you're talking about.

[Brooke Schofield]

We were talking about the club appearance. They were pregaming before.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, yes. So they used.

[Brooke Schofield]

They said.

[Tana Mongeau]

So they were using. They were using it as a pregame for Ultra. So it was just, you know, jaws swinging in the best way. We had a great time. But then it was like dinner. And like, no dinner in Miami is giving dinner. It's giving my hotel, the Nobu Hotel. You've been there with me. You know, it's. It's kind of weirdly for being on Miami beach, kind of peaceful, kind of nice. It's Miami Music Week, so there's John Summits in the fucking lobby. People are getting wheelchaired out of the lobby, jaw swinging, bedazzled. I went to the strip club. Then I had a yacht day with the Bop House. I came back like, oh, my God. And the Fort Lauderdale airport leaving was a hellscape. Like, it was so every single flight was delayed. I've never looked at a monitor and seen that like that. And people were just crawling on all fours, like in the fucking airport. Like, a woman commented on my TikTok and said, One time I had a layover in the Fort Lauderdale airport and I saw a woman giving birth. And I just, I really like that really resonated with me because that's how it felt. It felt like someone was about to give birth at any moment. Like, it was just. It was 100 degrees in the airport. I didn't get home till 3am we were stuck on the tarmac. Like it just. And then now I have swine flu and I just never want to go back there. I don't care that it's on a beautiful beach. Miami is a hellscape.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know. I.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what?

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm sorry that that happened to you, but I had, like, I knew before you were like, I'm so excited to go to Miami. I'm going to the Bob House. I'm like, oh, I think I've seen. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it's like I made a great video and there were glimpses of a good time. Like, I love J Rod and Mokoa and Ashley and like, you know, I had already calling me. It's like, fucking call Phyllis. I had glimpses of a good time. And like, like I said, there's definitely a Miami. I love the Bops. They're all so sweet. So funny though. I hadn't been in like a content house environment since my team 10 days and it's like truly like just so much like we should. They had like scandals during the day and all the things. I know what you wanted. Should. And I don't wanna.

[Brooke Schofield]

So fun. I actually would have loved to go to the Bob house. I think I would have really had fun there. I want to just observe. I like to know about things that I wouldn't normally know about a boat.

[Tana Mongeau]

I didn't go to the Bob House, so I had a bop boat day.

[Brooke Schofield]

Went on a pop boat.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And it honestly like they're all just very sweet like, and just like, you know, like they're Camilla and I really catch a vibe because she's kind of like brash like me. But like the rest of them are just very like sweet little nice girls. Like I was like, oh, that's how.

[Brooke Schofield]

They get paid the big bucks.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

And well, I'm sorry that you didn't. You, you didn't have a good time or you did have a good time. You had concepts of a good time.

[Tana Mongeau]

I had concepts of a good time.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

I had concepts of it. You ate with that anyway, you feel like you were having a good time. I.

[Brooke Schofield]

You said something that reminded me of something that I want to talk about and I think that you're not going to let me.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. Didn't you? I already knew. I just tried to shut it down like mid sentence like four ago.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know, but you think I could bring it up again? I mean, like, try Paul American. Oh, oh, oh. What did you think I was going to bring up? Well, you go, jake Paul's engagement.

[Tana Mongeau]

You go, oh.

[Brooke Schofield]

And he said for real this time.

[Tana Mongeau]

He what?

[Brooke Schofield]

You didn't see?

[Tana Mongeau]

He said what? Yes, he posted.

[Brooke Schofield]

He posted his engagement and he put for real this time. You didn't know that the ghost just moved that off?

[Tana Mongeau]

Did anybody see the ghost move my lip liner off the table? Or was that just. And it's every time we're talking about Jake Paul the ghost.

[Brooke Schofield]

Wait, am I making that up or. I thought that was. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Can you find out if you're making that up?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, he did. He posted caption for real this time. Wait. Oh, he changed it. Look, it says the original caption here. It says for real this time, sad eyes or like cry eyes engagement ring. But then when you click the video it says, we've come a long way, Jake Paulers meet my fiance. So maybe it's a glitch, but you see that, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm writing a book and I just like anything. I don't know, I feel like I'm gonna save anything I would say right now for that. It's.

[Brooke Schofield]

I tried to watch the show. I think like the show is definitely going to be entertaining.

[Tana Mongeau]

I want to watch the show. I will say that. See, it's like I keep going to try to respond to you because I have responses, but then I'm just imagining me in one day saying Oscar, cut that. So I'm trying to think of anything I won't cut.

[Brooke Schofield]

You're right. I guess we can skip over it.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, because like you're providing amazing podcast content. I think that I'm happy. Yeah, like, yeah, I think we should.

[Brooke Schofield]

Have a show though. They should give us a show. Slightly smaller budget.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was driving the other day. Well, I wasn't driving and I looked up and just saw Pam Stepnick, Jake's mom, like on a billboard all big. And I was like, no. Yeah. I'm happy for everyone involved. I do want to watch Paul American.

[Brooke Schofield]

I think just his parents are a hoot. Logan's. I, I really like, I hate to love Logan. You know what I mean? I just like, I feel like you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I feel like you and Logan Paul would be best friends. Like you guys are similar. I don't know how to explain.

[Brooke Schofield]

I really like, I do. I just have a lot of respect for Logan Paul. I like honestly, the Paul's in general, just how much money they make. Like, how did you fucking do that? Also, I have been low on electrolytes recently and prime has been saving me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, Brooke, why don't you just fucking dye your hair blonde and get on a flight to Puerto Rico? It is. No, but like dead ass. Like I do want to watch it. I think that family's like made for reality television and I'm super happy. I just like anything I'm saying right now, I'm already seeing the clips and it's giving me anxiety and I, I don't know, I. I think I have too many thoughts sometimes to make them concise. And I'm excited for my book but truly I am happy for Jake and happy that he's happy you had a story to tell me. I wanted to talk about our mispronunciations.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I'm sorry, I.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I. No, I think you were right. What did, what were we mispronouncing? We're saying chav.

[Brooke Schofield]

Wrong Cho.

[Tana Mongeau]

Chav.

[Brooke Schofield]

Maybe we're saying it in.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, it's Chav.

[Brooke Schofield]

Chav. Check India. That checks out.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think it's Chav. I don't. It's whatever. Too hard. You sent me a TikTok the other day that actually had me spiraling. Spiraling stage. No, no, no, no. We should. Well, Chad, Chad, this woman. There's a woman out there, Jessica Wetzel, who had the fudgeing time. She had the time, like Big Ben, okay, Where she took every clip of me on the podcast talking about every ailment I've ever had, and then diagnosed me with a syndrome called Ehlers Danlos. And mind you, this syndrome has the average lifespan of 48. Okay. And I open up the TikTok comments and someone just said if Tana saw this edit of herself, I think it would put her in a coma. And you decided to send it right into my phone at the off chance that I have it. This is a life saving thing.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. You're welcome for bringing it to your attention.

[Tana Mongeau]

They told me they'd never seen anything like. It was like, listing my phone number. My bones just hurt. Severe nosebleeds, scoliosis. No tissue covering your nose. I'm just peeing a lot. Deviated septum. Always just freaking out about something. Lazy and exhausted when sip.

[Brooke Schofield]

Alcoholic.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm 80. What do you mean? Like, my feet are big. And my scoliosis and my alcoholism and my urinary incontinence, like, all tied together to a syndrome that's going to make me live to only 48. And why am I being tagged in that?

[Brooke Schofield]

You know what? Similarly to the Hailey Bieber situation, I think a lot of that is just coincidence.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay, I. I'm going to like, hope and agree with that, but you should have seen me next to Makoa. He. He had to talk me off a ledge.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, I'm sorry for sending it to you, but to be honest, this girl has been at it for a long time. She's been making videos about this specific topic for probably like two years.

[Tana Mongeau]

And maybe she's right.

[Brooke Schofield]

Maybe. Well, I've never even heard of it, so I think she's making. No, but what is it? What's the. It's called, like, what do you do? Is it treatable?

[Tana Mongeau]

It's a lack of collagen, which maybe could make sense as to why I look 53.

[Brooke Schofield]

You don't look 53.

[Tana Mongeau]

Even if I do have it, it's like, I want to know about it later.

[Brooke Schofield]

I have an uncle who has cancer and he just was like, no, I don't. And then he just moved on.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so it's so funny because I'm so medically paranoid, but then I do not want to know Slash, like, will not do anything about something. So it's like, what. What kind of battle. What kind of fucking super Smash Bros is happening with my chemicals?

[Brooke Schofield]

Really, Like a common thing. But you know what we should do that people just started doing is that like, pre nouveau thing where you can. Like, people always say, like, if I. Or if I was rich, like, you wouldn't know it, but there would be signs. Like, the number one thing is, like, I would get a full body ct. They offer that now you can just go in, spend, like, I mean, honestly, a lot of money, but you can get a full CT scan and you can know every single possible thing. But I just get just the midsection and I'm like, I don't think anything's going on in these legs, so I.

[Tana Mongeau]

Might as well just, oh, I got some Disney knees. So, I mean, shit, I probably have to go full body, but, like, no, no, no.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean, I'd go with you. Like, I'd hold your hand while you did it and then be like, oh, shit.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, I just think, like, how cool is that?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I just know I wouldn't come back with a clean bill of health and, what a new list of problems. But.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, you're right. You know what? Let me just shut the fuck up.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, like, you have a point. Brooke, what did you text me the other day to do for the Patreon reformer? Pilates.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I thought it could be fun. We're trying new things for the Patreon.

[Tana Mongeau]

The way that they would pro probably put my alcoholism shakes to shame. Like, I can't even imagine the way I'd be on that reformer. I'm down.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, I just think your commentary would be so funny because even I the whole time I'm like, I have to, like, depend on humor to, like, not be embarrassed. And so I saw your video of.

[Tana Mongeau]

You with the little bar, and you were being really funny.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's just so hard.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's good, though, that you're, like, cracking jokes. I think I just wouldn't even be funny. I would be just really mean.

[Brooke Schofield]

You're always funny. Speaking of looking 58, which we weren't anymore, I am getting extreme surgery day after tomorrow.

[Tana Mongeau]

This is your eyelids last canceled podcast.

[Brooke Schofield]

This is the last you're gonna see of these droopy eyelids. Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that you're just collecting surgeries like infinity stones. And I'm so fucking one boob job.

[Brooke Schofield]

That was My first surgery ever.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm so jealous, though. Like, it's funny because we were just debating Coachella a bunch, Brooke and I, and then we, like, found out that a house was, like, $17,000 for Coachella.

[Brooke Schofield]

She's like, will you go in on it with me? You'd only have to pay, like, 6K. I'm like, no, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

I watched her over the course of talking about it. Like, at one point, you were like, I'd rather get a surgery. And then you were like, I'd rather get a surgery. And, like, talked yourself out of Coachella and getting plastic surgery instead, which I think is so camp. Like, someone needs to, like, write a song about that.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, it was like, if they could. If I could get it done in that time frame, that's what I wanted to do, because I wanted to have it done before Europe. It's something I've wanted for so long. It's not, like a crazy surgery at all. It literally takes, like, 30 minutes tops. Your. You can be awake when you, like, you do it.

[Tana Mongeau]

We were supposed to interview Bhad Bhabi 12 hours after Brooke's surgery. And Brooks, like, don't move it. I'm down. Like, I think you think you're just going to come off this anesthesia and, like, do a cartwheel.

[Brooke Schofield]

First of all, I got a boob job, and I was doing the ymca. I felt amazing. This is way, way, way less invasive.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's just. I'm just not that kind of person. I guess that's why I can't wrap my head around it. Like, what do you mean? The day after plastic surgery, you're ready to rumble.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's not like a craz. It's just basically, I've hooded eyes. Okay. And it didn't used to bother me that much, but, like, as I've aged and lost weight and, like, just, like, my eyes are getting droopier and droopier. And I stopped being able to wear eyeliner, which to most people, who the fuck cares? But I care. I love eyeliner, and I can't wear it. And I just get frustrated when I do my eyeshadow because it never looks right. And I watch this back, and I'm like, gosh, like, I just wish I didn't have those eyelids anymore.

[Tana Mongeau]

But don't you think it kind of gives? Like, Basset Hound? Just kidding.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's exactly why I'm getting surgery on Thursday.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm actually just joking. I just wanted to say the words. Bassett.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, I'm kidding. And I'm preparing for People to be like, you're so ridiculous. Horrible.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I think if you want something, you get it. And, you know, that's how I feel.

[Brooke Schofield]

I just think you would be so. Okay. They are exactly giving Basset Hound. They are.

[Tana Mongeau]

Remember Joshua Bassett? Is he dead?

[Brooke Schofield]

He's not.

[Tana Mongeau]

I got my driver's license last week.

[Brooke Schofield]

But a lot more people have this surgery than you think have this surgery.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. I feel like I'm always hearing a girl just be like, I'm going to Pilates and then community goods, and then I'm getting my bleph done.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, it's like one of the most, like, not undetectable surgeries, but, like, it's hard to, like, really put your finger on it when you see somebody, like, all of a sudden looking like more refreshed and younger and whatever. And nobody talks about it because you can actually look completely normal in seven days. So no one's going to tell you they got it done. You're welcome for being so transparent, but really, I'm doing it because, like, I have to have stitches, like, probably in the next episode and what am I going to do?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I think that's everything. And I think your transparency is everything. You are right. Like, I feel like so many people I know have it. So you being honest is a slay. And, like, listen, I, I, too, if I could get the, like, head out the window in the wind smack pack right now like this.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know why you think you need that, but if you do feel like you need that, I have an amazing surgeon to recommend.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dr. Get that free bluff, girl. Come on. What's his name? I'm about to say a different surgeon that I want to work with.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm gonna sound like such a sellout right now, but, like, I genuinely like the same doctor that did my boobs. Dr. Daniel Barrett in Beverly Hills.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dr. Daniel Bassett Hound.

[Brooke Schofield]

He's just. He was so amazing. I had such a good experience. He just did. Also, my friend's tummy tuck.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's just me.

[Brooke Schofield]

She's had three children.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, wow.

[Brooke Schofield]

So it's not like I don't just have friends out here, like, getting tummy tucks.

[Tana Mongeau]

What would be wrong with having a friend getting a tummy tuck?

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

You made it.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm next. I thought you were laughing at me.

[Tana Mongeau]

No.

[Brooke Schofield]

Anyway, I'm going to Dr. Daniel Barrett in Beverly Hills.

[Tana Mongeau]

He has.

[Brooke Schofield]

Is one of the best in the business.

[Tana Mongeau]

World renowned. One time he saved me from a burning building.

[Brooke Schofield]

We're laughing, but he Is world renowned.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are you gonna keep them? Can I wear them like little earrings.

[Brooke Schofield]

People do that for. Well, I don't know if they do that actually. But people who do labiaplasties keep their lips. I just always see tiktoks of like the aftermath and them just like on the table after. I have two things to tell you about this particular topic. Which do you want first?

[Tana Mongeau]

You don't know the topics. Okay, first, I'm assuming one is labia related.

[Brooke Schofield]

Neither. Oh, one of them is labia related. Okay. I have what I consider the most important purchase of 2025.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're gonna say like most important labia. No.

[Brooke Schofield]

How about that too?

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

My favorite purchase so far of 2025 we are in April is my new wide gusset.

[Tana Mongeau]

You knew what?

[Brooke Schofield]

Wide gusset. Camel toe proof chonies.

[Tana Mongeau]

What do you. What's a gusset? What's the gusset? What's a gusset? What's a gusset?

[Brooke Schofield]

They're like, it's like wider because you know sometimes when you're walking and there's like a lip on each side of your Tony.

[Tana Mongeau]

Uh huh.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know why they're out to here.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I feel you. It feels like that. Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

And you're flossing and I'm like, God. Yeah. So I was looking into like what can be done for that obviously because I've been having like I put you in page in a group chat one time and I was like, I ran into you guys at the Grove and I was like, I actually had to leave the Grove because I was like literally getting flossed to death. Like it was like it wasn't even.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay, I get it. I really do get it.

[Brooke Schofield]

And like I'm wearing regular underwear. Like I don't understand how people are doing that. Like maybe it's like sometimes I feel.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like I have to like readjust a lip. Like the way men readjust their like.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, but like once you do it once, it's like it'll never be right again. It's like it's only right. Right the first time I placed them. And then after that they're just like getting tied in. It's a whole thing. So if you have a wide gusset.

[Tana Mongeau]

You better put this on your Amazon storefront.

[Brooke Schofield]

Camel toes. I would highly recommend this purchase. I think I just searched camel toe free. Okay. But it's important to know.

[Tana Mongeau]

So is it like a sports cup? Like almost like I'm playing softball as a man.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's essentially like a cardboard triangle in my Underwears. Wait, in my underwear. And it's not.

[Tana Mongeau]

I feel like if I was walking around with a piece of cardboard in my underwear, I could come from that. Shut up. U haul.

[Brooke Schofield]

I didn't see that anywhere in the reviews. I just know I don't have a camel toe right now, and I'm really happy about it.

[Tana Mongeau]

So it's like your cup. Like, how men have, like, a cup in sports?

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, it's like, if I'm wearing, like, I wear leggings a lot now, so I think that's what made me, like, hyper aware of it, too, is like, wait, something's wrong.

[Tana Mongeau]

And so you just have, like, a little gift card inserted in there.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yes. And. And because of it, I look like I have just, like, the fucking. Just like, I look like I just. It's amazing. Anyway, that was number one.

[Tana Mongeau]

I can't wait to try it. No, because I put on something the other day. I don't want to leave you hanging, no pun intended, on what you're saying right now, because I really did put on something the other day, and I was like, big pussy. So, like, I'll try it.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's really good. Like, I don't know. I've never heard anyone talk about it that much. Except for, like, Khloe Kardashian. She says she has a wide gusset as well.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wide gusset is just, like, so wild.

[Brooke Schofield]

I literally don't know what.

[Tana Mongeau]

Can we get a. Can we get a dictionary definition on gusset, please?

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay. I don't like the picture that they're showing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, a piece of materials.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't have the gusset. The chonies have the gusset.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, a piece of material sewn into a garment to strengthen or enlarge a part of it.

[Brooke Schofield]

Look at that photo with the jeans. That's how I was feeling for a second there.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God, Brooke. Wow. Shout out to gussets. Should that be our next merch item? Like, canceled gusset?

[Brooke Schofield]

We can just make sweats with an extra wide gusset.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. And I'm into leggings because I did have, like, a big mama drama situation in our yap, but that's because I was wearing 3X and it's like, figure that out, you know?

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, that was my first one, and then my second one. We were talking about labiaplasty on the table. Okay. That's what made me think of this. And this is my story that I've been dying to tell you.

[Tana Mongeau]

She is. Told me like, 17 times this week that she has a story for Me.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay, well, your expectations are probably up here. I mean, you can't. You bring them down.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I think that almost makes it funnier.

[Brooke Schofield]

I. As you know, at least once every couple weeks, Mouse has a trip to the hospital for eating a foreign object.

[Tana Mongeau]

Brooke's new bit has been sending me photos of Mouse's puke. No, invisible ink. I get it. You want me to be a part of the journey.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, I wanted you to know what he was throwing up, which is why I had to re gift my rug.

[Tana Mongeau]

Amari came up on a $3,000 rug because Mouse is hungry.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, and I lost $3,000. Anyway, he ate the rug, so we took him to the hospital. Except this time he has a normal hospital. And I know, like, I hate to even talk about it because it sounds like I. Like I'm just a neglectful parent, but like, he eats everything. Okay, this time, no, when I come.

[Tana Mongeau]

Over to your house, Mouse is like, spider pig.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, he. I think he has pica, which is like, where you eat like, non food items.

[Tana Mongeau]

Have you seen that movie where the girl eats the marble? I keep telling you to watch it.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, but I have seen my strange addiction when people are eating, like, sheets of paper.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm there mentally.

[Brooke Schofield]

He eats like, you know. Let me just show you what he ate today. I bought a nice new fleece. He ate a hole in it and ate the. It's not like he like, oh, he bit a hole in it. He ate the whole thing. That's beside the point. He went to the hospital and his normal hospital was. They had like a seven hour wait. And so they recommended us to another hospital that was in Santa Monica. Okay. And I show up to this hospital. No, wait for. Of all 10 out of 10, and they. They go, come right on over here. I hope you don't mind. We have an open concept hospital. I go, what does that mean? I round the corner, there's a cat here, cut open, sliced open, feet in stirrups. A dog over here, cut open, sliced open. They're playing like chapel roan. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. And it was the middle of the night.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was literally like, what kind of Dahmer shit?

[Brooke Schofield]

But it sounds really dark. But it was so cool to me because it was like, first of all, they were all like in really good spirits. The vibes were high in there. Everybody's like, very casual. Like, it wasn't like nobody was dying. Didn't feel like anyone was dying, but it was very like, you know, it's Exhausting. You sit and you wait for hours and hours, and you sit and you stare at a wall and you're like, I'm doing nothing. How cool is it to be able to just. You're in the waiting room, but there's a cat right here, like, literally getting surgery. You want to see pictures?

[Tana Mongeau]

No. Oh, I mean, like, okay, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, like, don't want to. I mean, no, it's not.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's not graphic, I guess.

[Tana Mongeau]

I get what you're saying. It's like going to build a bear, except it's like your furry friend.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's not like, far enough away. And I'm sure it wouldn't. I'm sure they wouldn't do it if it was like a life changing, like, or like an emergency surgery or something. But I think, like, maybe.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, the way that you said cut open twice, maybe they're getting, like, fixed.

[Brooke Schofield]

Or like, actually have another thing.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I don't want to see, like, Red rocket sliced like.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, it's far enough away. Not like you're all up in it, but it's like. Wait, what?

[Tana Mongeau]

Open concept hospital. What the. Though? No, what the.

[Brooke Schofield]

Hold on. It's so crazy. I was so. It was like, really amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then the woman was too stunned to speak.

[Brooke Schofield]

So anyway, I just thought that was the craziest thing. Imagine, like, humans had an open concept hospital. I'm like, this has to be a violation of some sort of hippa. But that wasn't even the craziest part. We're sitting.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, I'm imagining you, like, walking to cedar cyanide for, like, a horse cough. And then you see, like, old man getting catheter.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, look at this. This cat. Like.

[Tana Mongeau]

It'S cute, but, like, it's making my ears hot.

[Brooke Schofield]

So anyway, you're not, like, close enough to, like, you're not all up in it or anything, but, like, you can see what's going on. It felt like you were at the emergency room and like, like, and you knew what everybody was in for. I'm just like. As a nosy person, I was. I was just like, oh, my God, this is like heaven.

[Tana Mongeau]

I guess that's fair. But.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I. It was never. I don't want to see a sick animal ever. Yeah, obviously. But if I. If they're there, I want to know why they're there. Next thing, I'm sitting there and we're like, oh, my God, like, how cute. There's another little cat. Because so far it was just dogs in here. Okay. They Go, oh, there's another little cat. I look over and there's a cat in a cage. Just. You've never seen anything like it. Like, think, like, insane asylum, like, so crazy. Banging its head on the walls. Like.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I'm me in 2019.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'd be like, oh, like, how cute. But I'm looking at him, I'm like, I don't think he's supposed to be awake. And I'm like, like, I don't know if I should say anything to anyone. Like, they're doing surgery. So, like, no one's really paying attention to me. But I'm looking at this cat. Like, I don't think that that's supposed to be happening. And finally I build up the courage to, like, go up to this vet. And I was like, like, hey. Like, is he supposed to be awake? And the way they just went inside, they were like, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

And they.

[Brooke Schofield]

They run in there. He had pulled all of his lines out. He opened all his stitches up. He was like. It was like a whole thing. I'm like, did I just.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, you're living out your Ellen Pompeo fantasy. Yeah. New Obsession unlocked, by the way. Ellen Pompeo.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, my God. New.

[Tana Mongeau]

Have you seen that show?

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, I've seen clips of it, but I'm a Grey's Anatomy, like, super fan.

[Tana Mongeau]

I haven't seen Grey's Anatomy, but I'm gonna start it now because I'm loving her in Good American Family.

[Brooke Schofield]

I hate to tell you this. Grey's Anatomy will ruin your life. It takes years to finish it, and you will never want to stop.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think I want to start it because I'm loving her in this show.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, she's. You need to watch, like, as a human and a person, like, she is one of the best people on the planet. But also just like, like, what she did on Grace was like.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I always hear that I just haven't had the time or like, I. I have trouble starting, like, seven season shows. Like, I just like, oh, my God, what a commitment.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, they just celebrated their 20th anniversary, so there's a lot more than seven season, let me tell you.

[Tana Mongeau]

No way.

[Brooke Schofield]

There's probably 20 something seasons.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's wild. I mean, but she's killing it. She, like, plays. This is all based on a true story. Mom loves adopting kids. Like, their croissants, lattes, you know, bringing them all in, whatever. They try to adopt a daughter, they fail with the adoption. And I think the daughter has to get, like, Amazon returned, you know, and then. And then she they adopt another daughter named Natalia Grace, who has dwarfism, and then come to find out she's a little woman and, like, the orphan.

[Brooke Schofield]

This is a true story, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I feel like they almost wrote the movie the Orphan based on this. I don't know. And, like, it's so creepy. In the history of me and Makoa dating and watching shows, he's never once been like, I won't watch this show with you until this show. He's like, the little woman thing freaks me out. Like, I don't want to watch it, but it's crazy.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. I've seen clips of it. I really do want to watch it because I just think she's amazing also. It's just crazy. I. I think it's crazy that she got on board for another series ever after Grey's Anatomy, because she got locked into Grey's Anatomy and she was never. And not that she wanted to leave, but, like, 20 years she's been only Meredith Gray, and I don't think she could even hardly work on anything else ever.

[Tana Mongeau]

And is it one of those things kind of like Michael C. Hall, where it's like, he's not going to go be someone else because he's Dexter? Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

She's so Meredith Gray. And, like, I don't think her character in this is, like, that far off from merit. I haven't seen it, so I don't know. But she also, you know that she's like. She was making over a million dollars per episode because she, like, insisted that. I hope I'm not messing this up, but I think she, like, insisted that she be aware of what every single person was making on that show. And at first, Patrick Dempsey was making more than her. And the show's literally called Gray's Anatomy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

Meredith Gray.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

He was making more than her. So she was like, like, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then were people obviously just up in arms about her making more money because she's a woman.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. And it was like, a whole thing, but. Damn.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hand me a scalpel and a concerned look.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. Yeah, hold on, hold on. Immediate retraction, actually on that.

[Brooke Schofield]

But I don't think, like, I mean, it's a shonda rhyme show, so I'm sure they were, like, more than happy to accommodate.

[Tana Mongeau]

You've always. We were somewhere, and I. We were like an award show. And she walked past us, and you.

[Brooke Schofield]

Were like, the whole cast of Gray's Anatomy was at the People's Choice Awards. I was freaking out. She was the only one who wasn't there. Though. But it was like, everyone.

[Tana Mongeau]

I need to get into it. I really do.

[Brooke Schofield]

You will love it, but it will ruin you.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I do love that. I love things that make me, like, sad.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm naming. I mark my words, right here. I am naming my firstborn daughter after a woman on that show. And which one I like, I'm afraid to say, because what if people are like, I hate that name.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean, Trisha always talks about how everybody said that they hated the name Elvis, and everyone was like, what about Presley? And she's like that.

[Brooke Schofield]

I love that. Okay, fine. I'm naming her after Arizona.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that. There's so much lore there.

[Brooke Schofield]

You're flipping after Arizona. But I'm from Arizona. And I love. I remember hearing that it's her name. And I was like, oh, my God, I love her. And she's just so cunty. She's gay. She has one leg. Like, I love her. I do. I just love her.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. It's just like that. I saw rainbows and like, one. Like my mental image was just all I wanted.

[Brooke Schofield]

Wonder who you'll be in love with on Grey's Anatomy. I'm trying. Let me predict the future really quick. Okay, Raven, I think you might be a McSteamy. Type O. McDramy is like the classic, but McSteamy is the one. And one time he drove me home from Hyde.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're cooking today. And I love this. I love when you're like, front seat and I'm back seat and just. I'm like, go, Brooke.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't want to be in the front seat anymore.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, you're doing good. Wait, wait, I. What else? Do we have something else?

[Brooke Schofield]

I thought I had something else important to tell you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my. When I'm looking. Have you? Well, now I'm just television show reviewing. But have you watched Severance?

[Brooke Schofield]

No.

[Tana Mongeau]

For the love of God, Brooke, please start it tonight. No, don't. I mean now.

[Brooke Schofield]

I just started adolescence last night.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's probably good. Severance is the best television show I've ever watched in my entire life. And I feel like you'll really get behind the any outy concept.

[Brooke Schofield]

What's that supposed to mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, nothing to do with labias. Okay. Everything to do with. It's, It's a. It's a mental thing.

[Brooke Schofield]

Going to make labia merch.

[Tana Mongeau]

You really should even the other day we got a call into not Loveline, and the girl was just asking, like, what? Any versus Audi vagina. Like, whatever. And I was like, I have. Like, I, I, I Couldn't. I had to answer it. Right? But in my head, I was like, I just wish she understood. With my digital footprint, the way I've exhausted this ad nauseam, like, we became the labia. Well, I have committee.

[Brooke Schofield]

You know what? I now keep talking about it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, you should.

[Brooke Schofield]

I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

You should make labia merch. You should make merch in general. I've been saying that it. No, but severance. Sorry, sorry.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know why I have to keep bringing it back to my gusset.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's the best show I've ever seen. And I don't even, like, want to go down the whole rabbit hole, but I remember, okay. Imagine every time you went into work, you clocked out of who you were on the outside, and then you became a completely different person who had no idea who you were. Exactly. What I do, by the way, it's just. It's this whole thing. And, I mean, I don't need to go down the complete tangent. I'm just. I guess I just really want to say the concept. I've never seen anything like it. Like, any. You're an innie, and then you're an Audi. So, like, when you come into work, you're an innie. And like, you don't know. You're like, you could have a whole kids and a family on the outside, and you don't know. Yeah. Like, it's like you're two completely different people. And so it's kind of inhumane because the person on the inside, they just wake up every day in work. Like, let's say I got hammered. Like, my innie would have been mad, hungover for two years straight and had no idea why.

[Brooke Schofield]

Really?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, wait, God, no.

[Brooke Schofield]

There is a show kind of like. Or a movie kind of like this. The. Don't worry. Don't worry, darling.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is. Wow. I haven't thought about it like that. It is kind of similar to that. It's similar to that in that sense that, like, the body's on the outside, but except they're. It's like two functioning humans. And then they start. The innies start revolting against, like, one of the girls. Spoiler alert. Finds out that she's never gonna leave here because that's all they know is just this office that they're clocking into every day. So she tries to kill herself. She's like, my Audi. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you can't. If you're gonna keep me here, then I'm gonna kill you. You know what I mean? Like, and it's greatest finale in television history.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's what I have been hearing so many things about it. I do need to watch it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just like, you would love it. You're so helly are.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't even know what that means.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's. No, it's just. It's so good and I'm so Marcus and we're in love on the inside, honestly. Really? Yeah. You need to watch it, though. You really do. Selena Gomez. There's more.

[Brooke Schofield]

There's more.

[Tana Mongeau]

Anna Paul. There's more.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, that is crazy. I'm like, just now catching up on that and I'm like, whoa.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, No, I just saw one of our interviews and I. My favorite thing about you is you'll just. You'll see a beef and you'll pick a side knowing nothing, just like, as a bit.

[Brooke Schofield]

I didn't pick a side. I made a. I said, like, I get what she was saying. Saying, like, oh, I feel broke. Like, making a joke. Like, I too feel broke. Not funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

I haven't watched the whole series, but as she was watching and I was having her give me the spark notes.

[Brooke Schofield]

I only. I watched the clips, but they're really on it with. With the clips. I feel like I've seen it all.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's. Yeah, that's how I feel. I've been seeing so many clips. Michaela also talks at an amazing pace.

[Brooke Schofield]

Not only that, but she is brilliant with her words. I feel like she's so smart and articulate and makes like. I just. I was like, wow, how did she put all this together?

[Tana Mongeau]

I had no idea. And obviously, I mean, she came out with her original video and then she showed up with the receipts. And I always respect a girl who shows up with the receipts, but the things Addis was doing to her are like, worse than prison. Yeah. Worse than awful. Like, and I would love to have her on canceled if we ever end up, like, maybe when we're in Australia or something. I would love to just be any assistance and help in continuing to platform her. And I can't believe there's anyone. It's just like this. It's the thing that I'm always going to advocate for. Like, the tale is all this time in the case of like, oh, this girl has been a little wild or she has a PBL or this and that. So we're gonna victim, shame or blame. Like, and it's just so wild to like, see that because it's. It is crazy and it's. I hope Anna Paul never comes back from this. It's like I.

[Brooke Schofield]

Have you seen what they're like that there's another sibling. There's a third. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, what? That just gives extreme narcissism. Like, why are you hiding the dad even? How are you out here? I'm giving away this, this, and this. And I'm gonna go to Disneyland.

[Brooke Schofield]

I didn't see that part.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, I mean, why are you trying weird foods in Disneyland Guam when, like, you have a Who's door dashing for money? Yeah, it just like pemdas.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know. It all feels really dark, I think sometimes. Like, I mean, it happens a lot too, where, like, the, like, I don't know what they call it, like, curtain gets pulled down or something. But like, when something seems like so happy and too good to be true and, like, just amazing and you're like, oh, my God, I can't believe that, like, these amazing people have this amazing life and then it just turns out to be, like, so far from the truth. But, you know, and how do you sleep at night?

[Tana Mongeau]

Putting on the, like, I love my fans act, and then you're evil to them. And like. Like, I don't even. Just the closed set eyes thing, Like.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't even see it.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, she literally doesn't have them. That's. That's what makes it even, like, more wild. But like, just friends like that, like people. Like, I've been friends with people like that and it's so brutal.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, you just told me I had basset hound eyes. Not to take it there. But you did.

[Tana Mongeau]

I wasn't. I just really wanted to say the words basset on. I don't. I've been, like, telling you I don't think you need the surgery, but I.

[Brooke Schofield]

Also like the surgery. Well, some. Some people do, I guess, if you can't see. But I can see.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but I mean, like, even just aesthetically, when I look at you, I think you're perfect. But, like, I also. I understand.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, but I know what you're saying. It's just like, it's. It's so crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think the sly dig type of friend for it.

[Brooke Schofield]

God, I wish I remembered what she called it. But it's like, like when somebody, like, gives you backhanded compliments or, like, has, like, really subtle ways of, like, putting you down over and over and over again to the point where you, like, just question everything about yourself. I. I'd never heard the word, but. But I'll probably never hear it again because I forgot I went to a Wedding while you were in Miami. It's so fun. While you were telling the Miami story, I was like, I had such an opposite experience.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, I would have much rather been at a wedding. Like, the weddings are so fun. I love weddings.

[Brooke Schofield]

This was my first time properly being a bridesmaid. I had only been a bridesmaid one other time and it was a Mormon wedding, so I couldn't even go inside the temple.

[Tana Mongeau]

But they make you be a bridesmaid and then stand outside. Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

And wait till you find out. I had a short dress and it was the middle of winter in Portland, Oregon. Anyway. Love her, Jill. But this was my first time. First of all, I was a bridesmaid. I've talked about this before because obviously this is the bachelorette I'd been on. And this was my best, best, best friend from college and she had 17 bridesmaids, which is just like, not.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that though.

[Brooke Schofield]

Very telling of like who she is. She's very much like once she makes a friend, she never, ever, ever is like not that person's best friend. It's really like cool and special, but the biggest, most beautiful, extravagant wedding I've ever been to. And it was so. Oh my God, I was so emotional the whole time.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was it like, tell me more things. Like, I love hearing about like the planning or like little intricate details or like just like.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, first of all, like the coolest thing I thought was like, well, just something I had never seen in a wedding before. She did all white dresses for everybody, so 18 of us were up.

[Tana Mongeau]

That also weirdly speaks to someone's character in a very positive way. Like almost saying, like, I love these people so much that I want them to be included on.

[Brooke Schofield]

You know, it does. It was very. It's like a selfless thing to do. But it was like the most beautiful like, like Bridgerton looking venue in Dallas. Like, I don't know if you saw my video, but it's. Everything's green and white and pristine. It was very. I felt like very sorority about it. I was like really like transported back into those days.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

But 17 of us getting ready all day. Put it like, it just was so like.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think it's really cool. Yeah. Too. That it. Because I don't know, I feel like a lot of girls and their friend groups, sometimes it's a competitive nature. It is like. And there's nothing wrong with the bride wanting it to be all about them. I'm not saying it like that, but to almost center the vibe of your wedding around your girls is so beautiful. Even just. I was watching something of Chelsea just talking about how like, the friendships that you have with your girls are so important, like throughout your life. And it. Or was it. I don't know if it was Chelsea, it might have been something else. Something. Sex in the City. I don't know.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, but I know what you're like. It was like such a reminder of. That was like, oh my God, I love. Like, I can't wait for this. I don't know if I ever even would be interested in having a wedding, but it was like so special. I was like, oh my God, I want to get all my. I just want to have a bachelorette party, honestly. But what's special? Like, not special, but like, they already have a ba. They have a three year old kid, Asher, and like, they met in law school. Both of them were in law school and they got pregnant and had Asher in law school.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, that's crazy. To pass the baby bar while you have a baby bar.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, they did. They both like, it was so crazy because she. She was nine months pregnant still. Obviously in school. They. She had the baby and they were like the way they planned their schedules because they hadn't graduated yet. So they would like, like pass him off in the hallway after class. Like he. She would go to criminal law and then hand him off and like he would go.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is the craziest I've ever heard.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's so cool. But now they both pass the bar, they're both lawyers and like, it's just like the coolest story ever. And she does deserves it so much. It was just the best way.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is everything and more. Wow, that's crazy. Like the, The. The dichotomy of our lore, of our weekends.

[Brooke Schofield]

It is well, also, like, it was almost like so weird to be transported again back into that life because I'm like everyone around me. I like what. What life I live now versus then like I go back. It's like one of us is a. It works in cyber security. Everyone's a lawyer. They're environmental scientists, ICU nurse.

[Tana Mongeau]

And you're posting a clip about squirting blue Powerade with Chelsea iconic.

[Brooke Schofield]

It was fun.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is everything that makes me so. That's so funny too as well, because I felt like I was being transported back into a part of my life and like, again, polar opposite. Like, that is just so funny. And a wedding is so just beautiful.

[Brooke Schofield]

And there was babies everywhere and I was like, I need.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Did it like make you being. I feel like Makoa Right. Mako and I have not been to a wedding together yet and I feel like it would like, really make me like, especially like a good wedding that I could like, see myself wanting. Like, oh my God, I'd probably levitate.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, it was amazing. I was. It was more so being around all the little kids because, like, oh my gosh. There was one little girl there. She was. She wore the same dress as us and she was the flower girl. And like, I. I'm never around kids, so I don't have like a good gauge. Like, I see her and I'm like, she's a baby. And then she's. She's like, I just saw Asher. He's in such a bad mood. Like, she speaks in full, like crazy sentences and I'm like, you are three. Like, how are you doing that?

[Tana Mongeau]

I didn't know three year olds speak in full. Crazy sentences is. We should get a three year old on the mic. Like, imagine like we had a guest, but it was just a three year old.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, she would. She was so. It's just crazy. Like, you're so amazed by kids, but boys are like different. I think there were two boys there that were the same age and they were like water.

[Tana Mongeau]

That says everything you need to know. Honestly. Yeah. That's wild.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's why my little girl, Arizona.

[Tana Mongeau]

Arizona is such a good name. That's funny. I put Vegas on my list of names.

[Brooke Schofield]

Really?

[Tana Mongeau]

The other day it might have been when you said Arizona. I think you've said it to me. And then I was like, wait, what if I want to name my kid Vegas? But I don't think Nicole would let that. Let that one. Really?

[Brooke Schofield]

What if you had another one named Maui?

[Tana Mongeau]

Vegas and Maui would actually be like, so. But is that like so self centered?

[Brooke Schofield]

No. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh. Oh.

[Brooke Schofield]

You just literally built that human from scratch. Yes. It's like, hello.

[Tana Mongeau]

I guess that's true. One of my name.

[Brooke Schofield]

Hannah.

[Tana Mongeau]

One of my names on my list is Ikaika because is. It's a Hawaiian name and it's. He's my favorite dealer in Vegas and I've won like so much money with him.

[Brooke Schofield]

Poker?

[Tana Mongeau]

No. Roulette.

[Brooke Schofield]

Gambling?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Brooke Schofield]

Not drugs.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not. No. Yeah. Oh, my God. No, my God. Oh, my God. My drug dealer's name was Dollars, but I don't know where. I'm not gonna name my kid Dollars. And I don't know his name is Dollars either. Yeah, that's probably true. But no. Ikaika. I love Ikaika.

[Brooke Schofield]

I love the name.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, how cool is that? That it's like a Hawaiian name and he's from Hawaii. But, like, he was my. I've won the most money with him in Vegas. Like, that's kind of a good crossover.

[Brooke Schofield]

That is. I love that.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, whatever. But I don't know. Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell were like, back there again. I didn't know her, that her relationship was so age gap central.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I didn't realize either. He's, I think 40, 41, and she's 27, so.

[Tana Mongeau]

And she was 20 when they started dating, so it's like, I could. I feel like she got so much flack for the Glen Powell shit, but shit. If I was like, I was about to say changing a geezer's diaper and it's like, he's not that old at. At all. He's fully mobile, normally using toilets. But I, like, could see how then you're on the set with, like, Glenn Powell and you're like, wait, what? What have I been missing out on? And then like, I'm Sydney Sweeney. Like, you know.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, 100%. I feel like also when you just get in a relationship that young, I feel like you're always going to end up being like, oh, my God, look at all this. That's out there, there. But I almost. I don't know anything about him. And I also didn't know they had an age gap relationship. But when I found out that she was engaged, I was like, God, like, root for that guy because he's the underdog. She's Sydney Sweeney. And like, if they can, like, actually get married, that will be the most amazing thing ever. Yeah, they're not getting married. I'm happy for her. I think she's going to really spread her wings.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would love to see her in Gl Po.

[Brooke Schofield]

I would love to see it too. But I also would love to see her with, like, somebody that we wouldn't expect. Like, someone like. Like really.

[Tana Mongeau]

Uhhuh.

[Brooke Schofield]

Not that Glenn isn't. But we've seen that. I've seen them together.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. I wanted to pop out with, like, Kodak Black.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay, I could see that. I could see that. Or like a woman.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

Or like Miley Cyrus.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would like, actually les out to the moon if that happened. Like, it would imagine it would just be, oh, my God.

[Brooke Schofield]

That really took me somewhere.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. I, like, have so many more things to say. I'm just like, dying.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm sorry you don't feel good.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's like I was sobbing last night. It's so funny. I told you this on the phone today, but I was sick and I was just uncontrollably sobbing it to the point that Nicole was like, did I do something that, like, you're not telling me about? Like, why are you like. Like, you know what I mean? Like, are you okay? Like, I was scream sobbing because of how sick I am and knowing that I had to, like, shoot this magazine cover all day and, like, do all this shit. And I was just crying and I was going. I feel like Brooke, in, like, an endearing way, though.

[Brooke Schofield]

I get it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, it was.

[Brooke Schofield]

I. I do think I'm out of that phase, or I don't want to call it a phase. I think it's very much a part of my personality, but I'm very stable these days.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know sometimes I miss the random cries, though. But that. That was. There were also factors there. Like, shitty men and, you know. Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I was just like, a generally, like, very miserable person. But you. I feel like sometimes you go really long time without being, like, emotional, and.

[Tana Mongeau]

So sometimes I think such a crier. These days, though, even like, Chelsea, I was crying, like, for days after we left the podcast because. You want to know why? I've. I talked about this somewhere already, but I still want to tell you because I think it's really special. As, you know, with writing this book, I have started or tried or have been trying to write this book for a very long time. Right. And so I have all of the times that I started to write the book, like, still on my computer, like, the different starts and whatever. And then I would realize I wasn't in the right time and whatever. And now in this current version of the book, I'm using all of those, like, almost putting them in quotes to, like, discuss how I was at that time, if that makes sense. Like, where I was writing, where my head was at. I should tell you about multiple. Cause some are just really funny. Like, there was one time that I started to write the book, and my entire opening monologue was about how people are releasing Amy Winehouse's diaries from, like, post mortem. And I was like, I'm writing this book just in case I die tomorrow. Like, I'm spiting everybody. I don't want anybody to speak for me. Like, girl, how dark and lost you have to be. Like, only writing the book because you think you're gonna die. First of all, okay, that wasn't. That was just a side tangent. But one of them was about how Jordan Morona had an office that was across the hall from Chelsea Handler's, like, Enterprises office. And I would pass it every single day. And I would just like, as I would pass it, I would like, slow down, down, like, I'd walk really slow, like, hoping she'd come out. And like, then I would like go in these meetings and people would ask me my, like, career goals and it would obviously be like, in 25 years, I hope I'm anything like Chelsea Handler, like, whatever. And as I'm writing this book, I've really been struggling with trying to figure out what the end of the book is, right? Because it's like, where do you end it? Like, cool shit just keeps happening. Like, we're going on this international tour. Shit, do I want to talk about that or is that.

[Brooke Schofield]

Maybe you'll write a hundred just like Chelsea.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I guess that's true. But, like, I still just haven't figured out where I want it to end. And I got home after Chelsea and I realized that that moment was the ending of this book. And it like, just made me sob, like, feel it was so full circle that that really cute is like the ending. And just even just watching it back, like, I'm so proud of us. I like trying to be more in my proud gratitude present era. And like, we did really good.

[Brooke Schofield]

Me too. I feel like I jumped to being like hard on myself about certain things, but I'm like that like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like it was the best day and.

[Brooke Schofield]

You can't make it anything else other than just like amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

And just the amount of people who've been like, congratulating me and like, bringing it up, I'm sure same for you. It's like, I don't know, it just feels very special and I'm excited. And this tour, it's tail is oldest time for me. That's like the phrase I'm eating like a horse right now. And I'm sorry, y'all, I have a disorder. We know. I always do this where, like we sign on for a tour and I'm just like, we're going on tour and I'm telling everyone and we're going on tour. And then I'll always have this weird moment where I'm like in bed at night and I sit up and I'm like, oh my God, like, Mokoa said something to me like, we're going international. And I had this thought literally like two days ago, and I was like, wow, we're really leaving the country for like a long time.

[Brooke Schofield]

A long time.

[Tana Mongeau]

And can I just say, I know it's going to be amazing. But whenever I leave the country for a long time, you have those crash outs of like, either you get sick and like all you want is to be able to go buy some like, American medicine because it's like, just like, even how the food is kind of less MSG and like, better for you or like you won't have air conditioning for five days or like ice for a week or like I'm acting like everything's rural and that's not what I mean. But like, you'll have the, like, I miss the things in America like bald eagle screech crash out, you know, and like, just thinking about the fact that we're going to be gone and so far for so long, like, I'm so excited. But it's definitely. It's going to be crazy.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know what to expect. Respect. I'm more worried, like, not so much like, what's gonna happen there, but like, I, I worry so much about like, home because of. Especially with mouse going into the hospital so often. I'm like, I. The way that I have to vet the person who is living with him.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, you obviously knows, but you need for ex military.

[Brooke Schofield]

There's just such a difference between caring for a cat and caring for mouse, which is like, I mean, my bad. But.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but it's. And I think there's. There is some like, emotional safety as well in being on a US Tour and then having like two off days and knowing in your head, like, if I really need to go home, like, yes, it'd be grueling travel wise, but I can like, you can't out there.

[Brooke Schofield]

And like, my, my number one person who could help, like back at home is coming with us. Bb.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know.

[Brooke Schofield]

So also you guys, maybe. But like, mark my words, this might be the craziest decision I've ever made. But I, I opted out of having an assistant and into having BB instead.

[Tana Mongeau]

Which. Yeah, I. It's funny, I told Mokoa the other day in the airport because Makoa asked me, like, oh, who's gonna be Brook's assistant on this tour? And I told him, Bibi. And I swear to God, this was Mako's reaction. Like, smile dropped. Like, truly. I was like, it's either gonna be just like amazing because she knows you better than anyone, right?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

But obviously there's always the murky water of hiring yourself friend. Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I've done it before with bb Okay, I got B. This is so such a different scenario. But I got BB Hired at Catch and I'd be like, bb, can you go do this? And she's like, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

So they might end up being like an. There might be a jorts gate within you. And bb, like, oh, like a bad girls club moment in Oslo.

[Brooke Schofield]

But more so than anything, it's like, like I need her to be there for my mental. Like, yeah, literally it's more important. Like, I'd rather like pack my own bags and like, do whatever and have Bibi there then not.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I agree. And she's. I also think it's. It's always great to have at least like one person that's kind of doing for the plot, especially with our like, married eras. Like, you know, BB's gonna be like sucking under a big red bus in London. And like, I can't wait.

[Brooke Schofield]

I swear to God, she's already on hinge in like London. I'm like, what are you doing? Also, it's so funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, pre planning your dates for the off days.

[Brooke Schofield]

She's so funny. You know what this girl is, is consistent with these dates and I love her for it. We. I hope she doesn't kill me for saying this, but we. We've been having such a fun time with her dating life right now because for a second she's been going on dates with a Dodger player.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay, there's someone that BB is trying today, and I'm not gonna say who it is, but she put me into cardiac arrest. She was not kidding. Brooke. Amber.

[Brooke Schofield]

But no, I think they went on like literally one day, but she was like, will you go on a double date with me? Like to me and my boyfriend? And we were like, oh my God, duh. And we were like, what if we showed up to this double date and head to toe, like, foam finger fudgeing jersey every, like, oh, tawny on my back. Like, could you imagine?

[Tana Mongeau]

I wish you did it so bad. We should prank Bibi right now. I know, because it's April Fool's. What about a collect call? Like, we use Google voice, which I've totally never used on eight ex boyfriends to, you know, like. Like make a jail call and then see if she accepts, which I've totally never done to someone I've dated. And you know what I mean?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yes, but I also too, can't. You like, like you can make it look like somebody else is calling them.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's what I'm saying. Like, it'll look like it's a collect call from jail for you and we'll see if she. It's kind of late into April Fool's Day. We could also try to do it to Hunter, and that could be funny.

[Brooke Schofield]

I feel like Hunters would be too hip to April Fool's jokes.

[Tana Mongeau]

One time I did that to Hunter where you call and you play the car accident. Like, that noise. And he was. He was like, actually so scared. Been so pissed for, like a week. And I get scared with him because the prank wars of it all. But I was gonna finish the BB note, though, before we get off this note. I've been seeing that she's posting with Bobby Blandino again. And it is. Get ready for it. The tale is old this time where you're the friend and. You know what I mean? And you go so hard on a guy, and then the friend ends up forgiving the guy. And I like, I know you've done it for me.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. Now I. I'm just standing here. I called him toast or something. It was like a whole thing. Bobby knows that he can live, but, like, I just don't want him for bb. I don't want. I want someone. I want to dodge her for bb.

[Tana Mongeau]

BB went so goddamn. I wasn't truly, like. And I've done it. I did it with mod, you know, Like, I've done it with people and, like, where you go so hard and then you forgive them. But, like.

[Brooke Schofield]

And then I accidentally went too hard and then he bullies me at a party.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. What was I gonna say?

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm sorry. I just keep interrupting you. I can't help it.

[Tana Mongeau]

We have adhd and I think it's okay. People get. It's funny. I was gonna say people get so mad at the interrupting. But, like, we don't care. But, like, it's also like a podcast that people have to listen to.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know, but I don't mean to. I don't notice it happening. That's why I'm like, oh, my God. I watch it back and I'm just as appalled as you.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is the thing. That's the thing with everything, with the me and my. I couldn't even not do it to Chelsea. You guys have no idea how much in the editing process. Process now. Because I don't know what episode it was. It might have been Jeffree star or something. And I'm just going the entire time.

[Brooke Schofield]

I've never noticed you do it ever in my life.

[Tana Mongeau]

And now I mute them uncanceled. So like, even, like, when the episode comes out, people like, oh, she's gotten better. And it's like, no, I muted nine.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's what we should start doing. It's like, maybe our mics just shouldn't be allowed to be going at the same time. Like, we have to choose one, you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, so it doesn't. No, but then I'm talking and it's just you like, yeah, that's fine.

[Brooke Schofield]

And that's what they would prefer. No, I'm kidding. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I put our face tune fail on the thing to just react to.

[Brooke Schofield]

Can I. Can I come clean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Was it you?

[Brooke Schofield]

I did it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Brooke and I. Okay. I just want to talk about how far we've come as. Just like, we've had a lot of internal issues when it comes to our photo shoots and adjust where we used to be versus now. Like, even just like. And I do see all. All of these were kind of you having discrepancies with the way that I've done things for years. And I respect them completely because it is correct. Like, we'd spend $20,000 on a photo shoot, and then I would want to face app it, and then the quality would go to toaster and we'd want to post it. You know what I mean?

[Brooke Schofield]

It's like, I have to post the toaster quality pictures.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. And it's like, you know, you. You made me understand the value of a retoucher so that it's like, you know what I mean? The photos are as high quality as we're paying for and like, whatever.

[Brooke Schofield]

Still look like a kiss 7.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, no. Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

I want to. I'm talking about me.

[Tana Mongeau]

I. I just. I smoothed. I'm doing way less these days. I am. I'm truly amazing. I'm growing and whatever. Even just now when we have a photo shoot, I go out of my way, especially because I don't want the wrath of being like, let's choose these photos together. I want to make sure. Sure you love them. I want to edit them together. I want to. Whatever. We do that for the yacht merch. We go through all precautions. I. You come all the way to my house, we sit down on the couch, we select the photos of the yacht merch together. And then. Aaron, can you please pull up my last Instagram post? Or. Yeah. Or the one of me and Brooke with the yacht merch. We look gorgeous, and the merch is amazing. Zoom into that conveyor belt. After all the work and the retouchers and all the things. Look at the conveyor belt. Warped like a. And I feel like I haven't. We haven't, like, warped walls since, like 2018. You know what I Mean. And it's just like, all of that to the. Ugh.

[Brooke Schofield]

That was my bad. And let me just explain to you how this.

[Tana Mongeau]

What were you trying to do? I.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay, so I was trying to compromise and make this an easy process for you and I. But both. Okay, so I was trying to turn a photo I didn't like into a photo I did like. And this photo looked like I had just been through a wind tunnel.

[Tana Mongeau]

Were you, like, refining your hair?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I literally was just refining, like, changing the shape of my hair. Saying it out loud. Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's like someone put hot lava on the TSA conveyor belt.

[Brooke Schofield]

But this is what my hair looks like. And you wanted to use this photo, which is just a bad friend move. Move.

[Tana Mongeau]

As hard as we try, the precautions, the meeting up in person.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, to be fair, that was for the. The covers, and these ones were our own responsibility.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's true. It's. And honestly, it's funny because we had this back and forth of like, should we delete the photo? And I kind of was just like, you know what? It's on brand. It'll probably raise engagement of the photo, thus, hopefully raising sales of the app merch.

[Brooke Schofield]

And that was your punishment for posting the whole grid post without ever consulting with me and choosing the word. First photo of me is the first.

[Tana Mongeau]

Photo that's yours, and we'll never get it right so long as we live. And that's okay. You know what I mean? But the. Honestly, Brooke, do you know that the yacht merch was our highest sales? Yeah, the girlies really. They went in, and I'm so happy because it is my favorite item we've ever made.

[Brooke Schofield]

I love it so much. I wear it all the time. Also, you're gonna catch me in those glasses a lot more these days without my eyelids. I'm gonna have stitches under my beer glasses. Yeah, I was in Texas for a wedding. Now I'm coming. Andre, I love.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love a southern. I love a Southern bell.

[Brooke Schofield]

Justin Bieber has new music. Would you like to hear it?

[Tana Mongeau]

I saw one that was like, benny.

[Brooke Schofield]

Justin Baba jumped on live for a few seconds, and this is what it looked like.

[Tana Mongeau]

What's he say? He's saying Benny, right? The amount of times I have been like, what I presume to be Haley in that situation, sitting with a guy in the studio who's like, first of.

[Brooke Schofield]

All, that sounds like pretty much every.

[Tana Mongeau]

Guy you've ever dated.

[Brooke Schofield]

Second of all, and having to be.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, babe, it's so good. Oh, wait, not every single one that Was that I. A lot of them make good music. That was just. I'm. I was speaking in hyperbole. I was really just thinking about, like, Lil Xan.

[Brooke Schofield]

I think Justin Bieber is one of the most talented people on the planet.

[Tana Mongeau]

Me too.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's so amazing. I think all his music has been fabulous, but I think this album can wait.

[Tana Mongeau]

It breaks me in the most parasocial way because I love him so much. And I just, like. I would also like to think that he is, like, not bothered by this and, like, thriving with Haley and just all the things. You know what I mean? And it's so. Did you see that? What? One of the songs that. That. The one that. Where she says, you're so embarrassing. Whatever. That she came out and said that she wrote that as a POV of someone was saying that to her. Like, as in Haley was saying all of that to her.

[Brooke Schofield]

Did you watch the Tick Tock I sent?

[Tana Mongeau]

I watched most of it.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know because I got in trouble for my last take. But I think I'm doubling down. I think. I still think bullying a new mother is just diabolical and horrible. And what the Internet is doing to her is just awful.

[Tana Mongeau]

I agree. I think it's like.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, not even so much that. But it's just the fact that, like, it is so tired and it's like, against what we all talk about all the time, which is like, bully men and support women. That's what we're supposed to be doing. Bully men, support women.

[Tana Mongeau]

I couldn't agree more. I love Haley and I love Selena. Like, there. There's no. And I'm not even, like, trying to make sense. Yeah. It just makes me sad. And it's like I feel like all. Again, this is me being so parasocial. All Justin's ever wanted was, like, a kid. Right. And, like, I just. I want to see nothing but everybody thrive. So it's kind of just like a sad situation to me.

[Brooke Schofield]

Can we please react to this video?

[Tana Mongeau]

So this. Well, here's. Here's what I'm going to say. I saw this Tik Tok the other day and I straight up commented on this and said, like, I'm not watching. I will save it for canceled because I already know it's bad. I want to tell you, I don't even on my, like, first round of Story Time tours, they really would just give me a mic and say, like, go up there and do you know, a lot of times I would. Wouldn't. I don't even want to say these words out loud. I wouldn't write anything. Oh, I would just go up there with a mic.

[Brooke Schofield]

And that's why what we did first to start in like Phoenix, I guess that's.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but we still have like a note of like. Like I would literally just wait till I got there, hope someone pissed me off in the airport and like cook. And then I would turn. I would turn a lot of it at the end of the show to like motivational speaking as well. Because I was like, let me try to like dial back from this and try to give advice to the crowd and like, whatever. So I can only. And I'm honestly, I don't even want to say this out loud because I know it's going to incite people to do it. But I'm happy at how little of those tours have resurfaced to the Internet. And I saw this and I'm sure it's bad.

[Brooke Schofield]

You know what?

[Tana Mongeau]

Let's just, let's just react to it and we'll see.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hurt people.

[Brooke Schofield]

Hurt people.

[Tana Mongeau]

And there's always going to be people that are rude to you and it's not your fault, but I think the most important thing is to laugh them off and remember that you are a queen. Oh, honestly. Honestly. No, you cooked.

[Brooke Schofield]

It was amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I thought this, this is not what I thought it was. You know what I thought this was? I thought that that was me post idubbbz and I was like, oh, I don't. Because. Because again, whatever was happening in my environment, I took to stage. And I remember that day I went very. I tried to go very motivational and it was like, oh, you don't need to do you?

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, I was really motivated by that.

[Tana Mongeau]

And what was. Well, because I think that at the time I would get a lot of much, much younger girls at my meet and greets. And the common theme was always like a kind of. Especially just with my fans kind of being, you know, more like me. And a lot of times, broken girls, broken homes, crazy girls, going through a lot. The common theme a lot of times was kind of being bullied at school. So. But then here I am, a dropout trying to give like, like motiv on how to deal with that. And in reality my real advice would be like, listen, yeet. The school, right? Like, yeah, but then, you know, no.

[Brooke Schofield]

I think you were amazing. I just thought I liked the way that you combined some.

[Tana Mongeau]

What did I even say? I just watched that. I don't even know what I said. Hurt people Hurt people.

[Brooke Schofield]

People hurt people. And you said, like, something at the end of the day, you're halfway off, you're a queen. But, like, I don't know. It was amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know about that. It is. Isn't that just crazy? Because that tour was backed at the time by full screen, which at the time was one of the biggest YouTube MCNs to exist, if not the biggest one. So I'm imagining all these higher ups having to go pitch it, and the fact that they weren't ever like, oh, like, let's have a meeting about the. The subject of the show, like, that's like a liability. Yeah. And I think that they. They were down because it was just making a lot of money. Like, I was like, selling out these places. But it's. It is so wild. I would, like, go in the bathroom. I would get to the venue, and I would go in the bathroom of the green room, and I would just look in the mirror and imagine I'm on stage and just start spewing. That was it. And then walk out onto the stage. I remember I did one whole run of tour ranting about just Spirit Airlines, but I had no story, no basis. Like, I was just like, I hate them. Yes. Like, just pissed about Spirit Airlines.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's like draft real talent. Like, nobody can do that. I would sooner die. Like, fearless stage without you. I think I would just die. Which actually I am about to do a show that's. That is alone and I cannot believe. No, my stomach.

[Tana Mongeau]

You are so talented on stage. You are so. That's. That's why we're still here doing this. Like, you know what I mean? You are so damn good on a.

[Brooke Schofield]

Stage is so different. Like, with somebody else there. You feel like it's not happening.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, it is, like, so much easier with a person, especially on stage. Going out there alone is, like, diabolical in the sense that if it crashes and it burns, it's not because there are. There are so many moments where we've had to kind of. You know, like, each day you wake up, maybe one person's sick. One person's. Whatever. Like, can carry the team on their back a little. Like you have someone to lean on. Like when I was myself, when we had Jake Shane and I would. Was running off stage, and you just had to.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, my God, I forgot about that. Dude, Jake Shane's tour is crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is he. He's doing huge venues.

[Brooke Schofield]

He deserves everything.

[Tana Mongeau]

And the funniest just he. His mind. Even the other day, JetBlue airlines, me. Oh, Bent me the over and just no lube me. Okay. I don't know.

[Brooke Schofield]

Careful, because that's the word. Like, that's who's better than JetBlue. I know, but.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, there's no bridge to be had. I'm buying the seed every time. Let's be so for real. Okay? But Jake Shane made that song JetBlue, where he's like jet blue. Who are you? You. You lie, you're deceit, whatever. I was playing it all day and I was just like, oh, his mind. But stage making the crowd pretend that he's on a red carpet. It's like his mind is one of one.

[Brooke Schofield]

He's three steps ahead. Nobody thinks like him. And it makes me so jealous.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's absolutely insane.

[Brooke Schofield]

But I love him and he's so cute.

[Tana Mongeau]

So he's. He's truly everything. He deserves everything and more. Have you ever gone shopping at Trashy Lingerie?

[Brooke Schofield]

Didn't someone just get shot there? Yes. I've only been with. Maybe I'd been with you. I've been there one time, but it was like I. I was so upset by the prices, I decided to never go back.

[Tana Mongeau]

So Trashy Lingerie is this hot pink lingerie store on Fairfax or on Melrose, one of those. It's across from the Beverly center. And even just when you're driving down the street, it's very iconic. Hot pink. It says Trashy Lingerie and it was made famous by Paris Hilton and like Britney Spears and all of that. Like back in the day, you have to like, get a mem. You have to pay for a membership to even go in. And then when you go in, everything is like a colors. And they, you know, they blew up too with the Playboy bunnies and doing all that especially. I love it so much. And I've always loved Trashy for Halloween photo shoots and stuff because you go in and they'll sew padding into the tits. They'll bone the corset to like, your size. Like, it is truly snatch Central. And like just being popular. Very Y2K staple of Los Angeles. Like, I think everyone should just go in and look around. Even just one time. It's very, like, cool and I love it. And. And having gone in over the years, I've made good friends with the people who work there. And Josie has been really good friends with the owner since she was like, sick. She, like played on a softball team with one of them or some, like, whatever. So we'll like go in and like, just. It's very much like family Vibes, whatever. And to my surprise, I get a new story the other day that the owner, Randy, who like, I know very well, had to shoot his own brother because he walked in this. Their house. House is attached to the store.

[Brooke Schofield]

Wait, so that's crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Which I don't even know how that like works. But he walks into the back and the brother is strangling the elderly mom, like to death and won't stop. And there's a full trashy homicide. And it's funny because every time I've ever kind of gone in, I've been.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, this is a kind of eerie in there.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. And like almost just a wild dynamic. It's a funny. I sent it to another one of my like, girlfriends who like always shops there and she just responded and said, yeah, Randy's a like, like, like not even surprising.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, Randy's the one who saved his mom.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay. Slay Randy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, but like, how crazy.

[Brooke Schofield]

God, it's. Sometimes I forget like, that real. Like those things really happen, huh.

[Tana Mongeau]

And just like, it's horrible. Hollywood. Like, it's just. It's so crazy.

[Brooke Schofield]

It is. There was a shooting outside my building a couple days ago.

[Tana Mongeau]

Really? Yeah. I've been looking at apartments in Hollywood.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. Citizen is not something you should have if you look in Hollywood, I'll tell you that much.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it's. I've been missing it. It's so weird. I can't adjust. It's such an out of touch tangent. But I just like, I miss it so much. I went to my old smoke shop and damn near cried. Like, I miss it. So I was on chat GBT the other night just like learning more about Chateau Marmont and like the Beverly Hills Hotel and just missing that whole side of the world. And I'm like, damn. Am I really about to like, get a little space and go back?

[Brooke Schofield]

No. Well, you're not far. I get what you're saying though. Like, even I just, just in Texas and I like explore the idea all the time of like going to Arizona or going to Texas or something and buying like a big nice house because, like, money goes far and then I go to those places and I'm like, no, I would rather be, you know, it is stepping over on the street.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. It's so wild though that like a two bedroom apartment is like $1.3 million in Hollywood. Like, that is so much. But I've been finding out so much about the infinite money glitch. Okay. And I'm so like. And obviously buying a property is the biggest feat Ever, like, you know what I mean? So it's. I'm not saying this is like the easiest thing in the world, but if you buy a property, you can theoretically, while you're living in that one, buy another property and put your down payment down, and then lease out the new property to tenants, and then their rent that they're paying you is just paying your mortgage. And you can do that all the way until something is paid off. And I'm like, shouldn't this be illegal?

[Brooke Schofield]

Isn't that kind of, like, why everybody just, like, invests in real estate? I honestly, like, I don't understand money.

[Tana Mongeau]

Me either. But I mean, what do you mean? I can go put a very, like, in comparison to the $1.2 million small down payment on this place and then just rent it out to people and then they're paying for it. Like, that just feels so illegal to me. And obviously just because I grew up never knowing anything about this. But, like, like, yeah, I think a.

[Brooke Schofield]

Lot of these things are things that we just, like, maybe parents teach their kids and ours didn't.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, even right now, while you're renting this, you could theoretically buy a property, put a very, like, the smallest down payment possible.

[Brooke Schofield]

Wasn't that the whole. Yeah, that's. And then I put real estate in other places.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, but then, so it's like once you've bought one or have somewhere else to live, you can you just keep doing that?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

So long as you have the down payment.

[Brooke Schofield]

Huh? I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's just like, I don't know. It feels so illegal to me that I'm just gonna be, like, leasing to some, like, Hollywood tick tockers. And then all of a sudden, in like, some years, it's paid off.

[Brooke Schofield]

There are some things that I really like. I would need days and days to be able to, like, wrap my head around. My brain just doesn't work that way. I don't get. I don't understand money, I don't understand time, and I don't understand how photos are.

[Tana Mongeau]

You have to make your chat GPT gay, because if you make your chat GPT gay, it changed my life. Like, it taught me everything I need.

[Brooke Schofield]

To know, you know, what's wrong with me. And this is like, has to be part of my, like, personality disorder or something. But, like, I feel true guilt, like, talking in my chat GBD too much. Like, I feel like I'm, like, bothering him or her. I like, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes when I, like, have exhausted a question too much I'm like, okay, let me give her a break.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I'm annoying her. Yeah, that's actually really funny.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. Or like, I feel get like. Like my boyfriend will do it sometimes. And I'm like, okay, like, enough. Leave her alone.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but I made mine explain everything. Like, even the other day, I forget what I was asking. Oh, I was talking about, like, the chicken or the egg theory, like, asking Chad GPT, like, what came first? And like, just whatever. This is what I do at night. I need to just go to bed. I say I have insomnia, but it's like, put the chat down. You know? And it was being like, well, and that's why it wasn't a slave for the chickens. Like, it just explains everything to me in that way. Like, I've learned so much about real estate because it'll be like a lean on a house is like having someone else's bad ex boyfriend. And then like, you get it that.

[Brooke Schofield]

I really do need to do that. I like. The questions I ask are so strange. Like, I remember I asked her something earlier. I just decided she's a woman, by the way.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh.

[Brooke Schofield]

I asked her if my cat was gonna die if he ate half a Fleet please jacket. She said, probably. Just kidding. I liked our laughs.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know I had fun last episode. I'm not gonna lie. I was really concerned coming in today just because I always have a podcast post photo shoot too. And it's just like I couldn't schedule it better, you know, just. And even just today, it's same thing. Like, some people love it, but it's like the seven inch heels and I had corsets down, like, dislocating rib territory.

[Brooke Schofield]

Remember when Rachel Zegler was like, if I have to stand in my dress for 12 hours a day, that's what you sound like.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know, and it's true. Honestly, today was so exciting. Makoa and I shot our first magazine cover together, which was cool. There was almost a part of the day where it did. Like, I was making jokes, but it felt like pregnancy or marriage or something. Like Makoa and I on the COVID of a magazine. It was like, just, I don't know, very cool.

[Brooke Schofield]

And he was like, I had no idea you guys were doing it together. That's already like an accomplishment in itself. But how fun to do it with him.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, it started because I wanted to recreate Pamela Anderson with the cone. Have you ever seen it with the guy, the conehead? Can you look up Pamela Anderson Conehead? So I wanted to recreate this photo with moa, like, super bad. Like, I wanted to have, like, a special effects person do this to him. He was down and so excited. I almost feel like McCo was more excited when he's like, Avatar or a conehead or something, because, like, I don't know, he just likes to, like, do fun things. I don't know. I told him he could say no, and he's like, no, I'm so down. Like, whatever. And I get on the call and they're like, hey, absolutely. Hell, never the not right? And. But then for some reason, they were like, well, clearly she wants to do with her boyfriend so bad. Like, that's all they took away from my pitch. So then it just ended up being us. But it was, like, so fun. He was, like, suited up and looked so hot, and, like, it was really cute. Honestly.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's exciting.

[Tana Mongeau]

It just ended up being, like, very normal. But, yeah, by the time I got here and then just Miami, it's like. And that Fort Lauderdale airport. I cannot stress it enough. It felt like I was in the Hunger Games.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I don't like airports in general.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that one's just up there. It's up there with ewr, Newark Airport. Like, I have a list of airports that I like.

[Brooke Schofield]

Newark Airport, and you don't. I would rather be there than jfk.

[Tana Mongeau]

No way. I guess it's like, less of a wait time and stuff, but there are just certain airports where it's like, I would run it better, and that's saying a lot. Like, and it was like, I. I never want to be in a United States airport. And thank God this needs a box fan. You know what I mean? Like, God, this needs, like, it's just. Oh.

[Brooke Schofield]

Sometimes a box fan just hits, though.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I just keep doing this thing to myself lately where I'm going to a place that's already crazy, and I don't know that it's time to something insane until I've already, like, committed. Like, I went to Cabo and was like, nice, relaxing summer trip. And then it happens to be spring break. And then it's like, everyone's hammered. It's a whole thing. Miami, too. I'm like, what?

[Brooke Schofield]

Sorry, I just got triggered.

[Tana Mongeau]

What?

[Brooke Schofield]

Because I said, it's like, I said spring breaks recently to just to, like, indicate, like, the time period. And someone's like, you're 30.

[Tana Mongeau]

Imagine me all week having to do these spring break brand deals. I'm like, oh, my God.

[Brooke Schofield]

I literally, like, spring break doesn't die with high school. Like, spring break is just like, That's a thing. It's like. It's like Easter.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Oh, I get what you're saying.

[Brooke Schofield]

Memorial weekend, like, that's what I like. Memorial weekend isn't over when you don't go to school anymore.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I guess that's true. True.

[Brooke Schofield]

I guess spring break doesn't happen for, like, a real job.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I guess that's true. But, like, yeah, I touched on a carbon, and spring break, I touched on in Miami. It's Miami Music Week. It's like I'm. I'm getting to these places that are already so chaotic during the most chaotic time of my life. And then all of LA is in Miami, and I'm like, oh, my God. Like, how did I end up, like, nelking it out? Like, I'm tired, you know? Then I just. Even. Just the airport. Yeah. It was just a truly a hellscape.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, you got through it, and I knew you would.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it's. It's also giving. Like, I have a busy week. Spray tan at five. No Boo at seven. Like, it's like, I'm not meaning to just so much.

[Brooke Schofield]

Being an influencer boy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, exactly. Like, it's like, oh, my God, Tanner, your life is so hard. That's not what I mean. But I am just so dead. And then tomorrow, I'm driving down to San Diego for Jeff Wick's live show.

[Brooke Schofield]

That'll be fun.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I'm excited because I think it'll. It's always nice to have something to do on a stage before your tour and, you know, like, it puts you back in the. And I'm excited to see what they do on stage for his live show and see if there's anything we can blatantly steal.

[Brooke Schofield]

You know, we should send a Mullen to the Jake Shane live show.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would absolutely love to, and just. I love. I love seeing what other people are doing on stage. So I am, like, really excited to do all that, but it's gonna be chaos. I'm sure.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm excited for tour. I'm excited to see what you do at Jeff's show. I'm excited to see your Playboy cover, and I'm excited for you to try wide, gusset underwear.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm excited for your bluff. I'm excited for Hope. I'm excited for Mouse to have a week of Friskies, and I'm excited to go on over to the Patreon and take more Sudafed because I'm dying. Any more takeaways? I can't believe he captioned that.

[Brooke Schofield]

That for real this time by Gracie Abrams.

[Tana Mongeau]

We'll talk to you guys very soon. Hopefully. I'm just. I'm really gonna this z pack up later and I'll be back in bed.

[Brooke Schofield]

Bye.

[Tana Mongeau]

We love you so much, and we're so excited for this international tour. If you're in Paris or you're in Oslo or you're in any of these other places, come grab a ticket. Come see us live. We are so stoked, and I had a great time today's episode for being on my absolute deathbed.

[Brooke Schofield]

We love you guys, and I am so especially excited to go to Germany. I love Germany. Germany.

[Tana Mongeau]

Bye.

[Brooke Schofield]

At the bottom.

[Tana Mongeau]

Ticket. Oh.