117: BROOKE ADDRESSES HER PLASTIC SURGERY CANCELLATION - Ep.117

Summary

Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - Episode 117: BROOKE ADDRESSES HER PLASTIC SURGERY CANCELLATION

Release Date: April 14, 2025

In Episode 117 of "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield," titled "BROOKE ADDRESSES HER PLASTIC SURGERY CANCELLATION," co-hosts Tana Mongeau and Brooke Schofield delve deep into personal challenges, societal pressures, and the relentless scrutiny that comes with their influencer status. This episode offers an unfiltered and intimate look into Brooke's recent experiences with plastic surgery cancellation, security concerns, financial habits, and broader social issues.

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1. Deciding Against Coachella and Embracing "Couchchella"

The episode kicks off with Tana and Brooke discussing their mutual decision to opt out of attending Coachella this year. Instead of succumbing to FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), Brooke shares her creative solution by embracing "Couchchella," a playful alternative where she envisions herself comfortably lounging on a couch rather than at the festival.

Brooke [00:57]: "I decided I'm gonna get myself a couch instead of Coachella. So I just keep Couchchella, if you will."

This decision stems from both a personal preference and external factors, leading them to repurpose their Coachella outfits for upcoming tours instead.

---

2. Security Concerns and Neighbor Issues

Tana opens up about a troubling incident involving a security guard, expressing her frustration with the male race and the challenges of maintaining safety. She recounts repeatedly encountering the same guard misbehaving, which escalates her security measures.

Tana [05:07]: "I know people assume, like, what you do is unserious, but..."

Brooke echoes Tana's sentiments, sharing her own grievances about how her building is managed, including the wrongful termination of a beloved concierge and ongoing issues with neighbors mishandling cat litter.

Brooke [10:01]: "We lost Trevi at Coachella, and we found her with Charlie Sheen..."

The conversation highlights the difficulty of ensuring personal safety and maintaining harmonious living conditions amidst public life pressures.

---

3. Brooke's Upper Blepharoplasty and Public Backlash

A significant portion of the episode centers on Brooke addressing her upper blepharoplasty surgery—a cosmetic procedure aimed at altering her eyelids. Both hosts discuss the societal reactions and the double standards faced by influencers when they undergo such procedures.

Brooke [21:01]: "I did get my upper blepharoplasty... for purely cosmetic reason because I wanted less eyelid."

Tana supports Brooke's transparency, lamenting the harsh criticism Brooke receives compared to celebrities who undergo similar surgeries discreetly.

Tana [25:07]: "She was like, 'Brooke Schofield is setting women back 10 years.' And I was like, Taylor Swift has this."

They explore the paradox where honesty about cosmetic enhancements is both praised and ridiculed, emphasizing the lack of empathy and the perpetuation of unrealistic beauty standards.

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4. Financial Spending on Delivery Services

Tana shifts the conversation to her own financial habits, revealing an alarming expenditure on delivery services like Uber Eats and DoorDash. She humorously compares her spending to subsidizing her assistants.

Tana [47:03]: "In 30 days, I spent $8,300 on Uber Eats. $1,295 on DoorDash."

Brooke critiques this behavior, suggesting more practical financial management and expressing disbelief at the sheer volume of spending.

Brooke [49:47]: "That's just ridiculous."

This segment sheds light on the challenges of managing finances amidst a hectic influencer lifestyle, often leading to impulsive spending.

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5. Reflections on Past Experiences and Personal Growth

The hosts reminisce about their tumultuous pasts, including wild parties, relationships with multiple ex-boyfriends, and the infamous "Dizzy Wine" era. They acknowledge how far they've come, moving away from destructive behaviors towards more responsible lives.

Tana [41:01]: "I woke up on live... it was Naughty."

Brooke [56:04]: "She was getting really intoxicated, and it was a tough time."

They celebrate their growth and the lessons learned from past mistakes, emphasizing the importance of personal development and sobriety.

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6. Advocacy Against Victim-Shaming and Support for Survivors

A poignant segment focuses on societal victim-shaming, particularly towards women who have suffered abuse or hardships. Tana and Brooke express their frustration with how society often disregards the struggles of women based on perceived flaws or behaviors.

Tana [66:03]: "It's so wild societally, you know."

They advocate for greater empathy and support for survivors, regardless of public perception or personal biases. This conversation underscores the deep-seated issues of misogyny and the need for a more compassionate society.

Brooke [67:08]: "It's horrible. But I don't, like, I don't see it ever stopping."

---

7. Light-Hearted Banter and Humorous Anecdotes

Despite the heavy topics, Tana and Brooke intersperse their discussion with humor and playful interactions. They joke about minions, plan imaginary collaborations, and share amusing stories from their past, adding levity to the episode.

Tana [73:27]: "She makes it so hard to be a kitty cat."

Their ability to balance serious discussions with light-hearted moments keeps the conversation engaging and relatable.

---

8. Satirical Commentary on Celebrity Culture and Space Ventures

In a humorous twist, the hosts mock the idea of celebrities like Katy Perry embarking on space missions, critiquing the superficiality of such endeavors.

Brooke [71:37]: "Like, why do you want to talk about 10 years back for women?"

Their satire highlights the disconnect between genuine achievements and performative actions in the influencer and celebrity world.

---

Conclusion

Episode 117 of "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield" offers a multifaceted exploration of the pressures and challenges faced by influencers. From personal struggles with security and financial management to advocating against societal injustices, Tana and Brooke provide a candid and heartfelt narrative. Their blend of serious discourse and playful banter creates a dynamic and compelling episode that resonates with both long-time listeners and newcomers alike.

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Notable Quotes:

• Brooke [00:57]: "I decided I'm gonna get myself a couch instead of Coachella."

• Tana [05:07]: "I really. I'm always finding myself in a situation where I'm employing someone and then they are doing the most diabolical shit on the job."

• Brooke [21:01]: "Blepharoplasty is a procedure for people who do have droopy eyelids that like, literally do like, affect their vision or like, affect their quality of life."

• Brooke [66:03]: "It's so wild societally, you know."

• Tana [73:27]: "She makes it so hard to be a kitty cat."

---

This episode encapsulates the essence of "Cancelled" by blending personal anecdotes with broader societal critiques, all while maintaining the authentic and raw rapport between Tana and Brooke.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, and welcome back to the canceled podcast.

[B]

Enough.

[A]

I know. It's so. It's so out of control. The girls who get it. I thank you, but it's brutal. Hi. Hey. How are you? Chicken?

[B]

I am better than ever. How are you?

[A]

I'm also better than ever. I'm having a great day. We just. It's so funny that we. I mean, you especially, like, you made a Coachella collection with White Fox, right? And, like, me too. I just never thought in a million years I wouldn't be going to Coachella. And we just went to, like, a Coachella gifting suite, took corsets, and, like, we're gonna wear them on tour. We're not going to Coachella.

[B]

I know. Have you. Has the FOMO set in for you at all?

[A]

Okay. I'm not gonna lie to you. I've been doing really good. I've been really strong. I had to decide that I was going to treat myself with something for opting out of it, and I decided that, and you kind of inspired me. You know, you said Blefchella, right? Oh, yeah.

[B]

We'll get.

[A]

And we'll get into that. But I decided I'm gonna get myself a couch instead of Coachella. So I just keep. I keep Couchchella, if you will. I keep envisioning myself on this couch, and I'm like, this is so good. It's a lifelong piece. Like, you're gonna. You're gonna get this couch. It costs the same. It's whatever, right? And then today, I was you. And I filmed a YouTube video with your White Fox collection doing, like, a little haul, and I was editing it, so I'm already kind of in the mindset just looking at these outfits. Whatever. My Mario Selman comes over, and he's like, the tale is old this time of me being sorry, of me being a Bloomingdale's. Like, everyone just comes over and steals outfits for whatever they need. So Mario has a full rolling rack in my closet, and he's grabbing things from sections as if we're at Nordstrom. And he's, like, putting together all. And Mario's a girl, right? Like, maxi skirts and corsets galore, if you will. Yes. And as I'm seeing Mario in all these pieces that, like, if I were going to Coachella, like, I would wear that belt, you know? And then I'm like, oh, my God, this is like, my Attico boots were out to play, you know? And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sad. And then we go to this Gifting suite. And, like, all the girls there are, like, you're gonna go. You have to go. Like, I'm so ready for Coachella. And I'm like, oh, my God.

[B]

Well, Coachella is always gonna be there. And what's stopping you from wearing that maxi skirt in those chaps? You mean, like, you have Coachella right now in the studio?

[A]

That's true. That is true. Literally, even today, getting dressed for this gifting suite, I feel like normally when I'm going to Coachella, I'm, like, so invested in those outfits and, like, tired that I'll show up to these gifting suites and, like, sweatpants. But then today, I was like, I'm gonna dress like I'm at Coachella because I can't go. And it's. It's my favorite thing in the world. And I'm, like, really sad.

[B]

It's my favorite thing in the world too. But it's like I said, it's always gonna be there. And also, there are so many festivals now that, like, we can go to Lollapalooza. We could go to Oceago. We could go to.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Outside Lands or something. I don't even know.

[A]

Nothing is the same as Coachella, though. I don't know how to explain that. Like, the. The air is different. The time of year is different. The drama, the things you witness. I was just. Have I ever told the Trevi, like, Charlie Sheen story uncanceled? I think I have.

[B]

I think you have. But, like, I. I know I've heard it. I just don't know. I can't remember. Oh, you have told her uncanceled.

[A]

Yeah. We lost Trevi at Coachella, and we found her with Charlie Sheen, and he was, like, helping her look for her phone. And it was the craziest moment of my life, and I was just telling that story. Cause the White Fox girls were asking, like, craziest thing I've seen at Coachella, and that was the first thing that came to mind. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, the lore gather. Like, I just feel like people lose all sense of who they are when they go to Coachella. People go balls to the wall.

[B]

They do. You get stories for years from, like, literally one single weekend. I. I do miss it. I'm. I'm trying. Like you said. I'm, like, kind of trying to talk myself down from it. I'm like, no, no. Like, it's gonna be fine. Like, it's not even gonna be fun. I will say, like, you know, when you. Like, when you can't go to something so you want, like, no one else to be able to go to it.

[A]

Oh, my God. I've been telling everyone. It's the worst thing in the world. I've been telling people that, like, that's.

[B]

What'S happening right now. I'm like. And thankfully, like, I'm getting more people telling me, like, oh, I'm not going this year. Then, like, I even thought so. I'm like, oh, perfect. Like, none of it. Nobody's going.

[A]

I agree with that. This is the most I've ever had, like, where, like, so many of my friends aren't going. So it does make me, like, feel better. And maybe that is just, like, getting older and stuff, but it's like, oh, my God. I just. I'm gonna really struggling.

[B]

Gaga.

[A]

I know. And I love Lady Gaga and I love Post Malone, Ed Sheeran. Post Malone, Ed Sheeran too, now. And I love Ed Sheeran, darling, I love you.

[B]

The clip of Jake.

[A]

When your legs don't work like they used to before.

[B]

That'S my favorite thing in the world.

[A]

It's mine too.

[B]

He gets the best clips. We got to be funnier.

[A]

I just. Yeah, I'm always struggling with that.

[B]

He's funnier friends than us, too.

[A]

I'm adderalled out today, so I'm a little robotic and it's just been a day already. I had to fire a security guard of mine today.

[B]

Oh, do you want to tell that story?

[A]

No, I'm not going to tell the story on the pod, but just men. Men everywhere are disgusting. And I was, like, shaking, seething, throwing up today just at a reminder. It's just like every time you start to gain hope for the male race, one guy does some ass and it's like, oh, yep, there it is.

[B]

One step forward, three steps back.

[A]

True. Like Olivia said, it is just fucking crazy. Like, I really. I'm always finding myself in a situation where I'm employing someone and then they are doing the most diabolical shit on the job. And it's like, do I just have, like, scam me across my forehead or do you think it's permanent karma for, like, Tanacon?

[B]

No, I think it has something to do with, like, kind of, like the nature of what you do. I feel like people assume, like, not that, like, what you do is unserious, but I feel like, like, you would assume, like, working for, like, Rob Dyrdek or something. You would think, like, you have, like, more. I don't know why I feel like I just.

[A]

I like No, I get it. I'm running like a, like, it Whorehouse fantasy factory. And then they see the. I get what you're saying. Like, people see my demeanor, so then.

[B]

They don't think they have to, like, show up in the same way that.

[A]

They would for, like, someone more serious. They don't think I'm Michelle Obama. Yeah. And it's so crazy that the only way, a lot of times, especially when hiring men, that people take me seriously as their boss is when I'm a. And it's like, I'm not, you know, me. I'm just not a by nature. Like, I. To kidding.

[B]

I'm just kidding. I just wanted to make a joke. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[A]

Especially, like, I'm overly kind. I go above and beyond for the people who work for me. I will never, Like, I'm. You're never catching me with some de Jer. Allegations. Right. Like, I'm. You know what I mean? And it's just like. I don't know. I'm just discouraged today.

[B]

Yeah. I'm sorry. That sucks.

[A]

Like, it sucks that a crazy woman can't always be a boss without being a.

[B]

Well, it just sucks, like, when you. Obviously, you don't want to be put in that position. So it's like, I get frustrated when it's like, why are. Like, I hate doing that. Why are you making me do this?

[A]

No, I want to be. Exactly. And it's just. Yeah. I just caught this guy doing some really scary shit to some of the women in my life who live with me or come around or whatever. And I was like, no. And it's. It just, like, rubs me so the wrong way, too, where it's like, you're not doing that to me, so you think you can get away with. I'll kill for the women that I love, you know? And it's like, not at my house, not at my fucking property. What the fuck do you. Oh, my God.

[B]

It's horrible. But I'm happy you laid down the law, and no one's gonna do it to you again or those alike.

[A]

So it's just funny because. Well, I mean, I don't know if I should say this, but it was a security. Did I say that?

[B]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

The job is just kind of like, show up with gun, sit outside, be very scary.

[B]

Well, not only that, but the job is keep us safe. Don't make us feel.

[A]

Oh, yeah, well, don't even get me started with that. But I'm just saying, sometimes you get some. You get Some characters, right? And like we've had this happen more often than not where like they'll be the security guards because they're. They're there 12 hours a day and then they switch and then someone else comes. So then it's like every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I see this same guy and they come in the house to use the bathroom and they order their food and you know what I mean, whatever. And they'll like all of a sudden just want to be besties or like, hey, can I go down the street for some food? No, like, see, that's what I'm saying. Oh, you better uber eat.

[B]

It's two lacks.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm like, what do you mean? Like you're. I don't.

[B]

That's how people get robbed.

[A]

Yeah. And it's just, I'm like upping my security once again. I'm like, I want my house on some Fort Knox. This world is a scary place.

[B]

So it's like, I love living in a building.

[A]

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[B]

A Karen moment recently and I know that might shock a lot of you, but. Okay, listen to me. I've already been kind of having like, I don't want to say issues with my building, but like, I don't like the way that my building is run in some ways. For example, my favorite concierge got fired and he was an angel. He was outstanding. He was like, he was literally so good at his job and the reason he got fired was for showing someone footage of their car getting robbed and like, because, you know, the high, like it's a liability and they don't want, like, for legal reasons, like, the person who got robbed to be able to see the video or something like that. But he got fired over that. And so I've been like, oh, that's brutal. Exactly. And so I've been, like, stomping my feet around.

[A]

That's the worst anywhere when you have, like, a favorite employee, anywhere that you're a regular at, especially where you live, and, like, someone gets fired kind of wrongfully.

[B]

And I've been having issue issues in my hallway that I really can't get into because.

[A]

Trash gates.

[B]

Yeah. I have some neighbors who are just, like, really just getting too comfortable in my hallway. And I, like, I hate to be a Karen, but it's like, why do you leave a dresser outside your door every single day? Like, like. And the problem is, like, I'm the friendly neighbor, of course.

[A]

I'm like, gotta uphold your reputation.

[B]

I feel like I'm getting taken advantage of. But I was drunk recently.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

And like, this. There's another person on my floor or another. I don't know if it's a couple or what, but they have cats. Okay. Ooh.

[A]

Already a big no. No. This is Mouse's house.

[B]

Yes. They have crystallized litter in their litter box.

[A]

Sometimes I just like to get you riled up. I'm like, no.

[B]

So they have crystallized litter in their litter box. And I had a situation recently, and I really don't have to go into it. I actually talked about it briefly on another episode, but I had a crystallized litter situation where there was, like, some sort of chemical reaction. I don't know what happened. You know, when you pee on bleach, it, like, makes, like, chemical gas.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Like, if you, like, bleach your toilet or something and then you pee on it or something, you, like, die.

[A]

Have you ever had discharge, like, make your black underwear, like, a different color? Yes.

[B]

That's universal experience.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So anyway, my cats were peeing in this crystallized litter. It, like, calcified to the sides of the litter box. It literally destroyed my apartment. I almost had to get a new one. I loved calcified, so I never used crystallized litter again. Right. And I've been traumatized ever since because I was scraping with my feet, fingernails. This litter box, it was a disaster.

[A]

You felt like you were Mouse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I couldn't even look him in the eye for months. So my neighbors are using the same crystallized litter.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So this smell, to me, it's the most putrid. Like, it. It brings me back There because I, like, it was such a traumatizing experience. I'm like. Immediately. It's like, war flashbacks.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So I walk into my trash room couple weeks ago, and when I tell you, it is as if they literally brought the litter box in there and just turned it over and poured it on the ground. It's like, they didn't even try to get in the shoe. Nothing. There's litter everywhere. It's stuck to the walls.

[A]

That's disgusting.

[B]

It's on the walls. So I'm like, what the fuck? It must have been, like, a freak accident, right? Wrong. Day after day, it's happened, like, five times in a row now where I'm like, oh, my God. Like, it's everywhere. And you can't even. When you open the shoe, it's like. It's all over the handle. It's disgust. It's like it's cat piss and shit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Clumped together. Oh, my God. Sorry.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Anyway, so I've been frustrated by it, and the. The real concern that I have is everybody. We all know Brooke has two cats. So the thought of anybody in this hallway thinking, like, oh, Brooke is doing this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Brooke is responsible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I couldn't handle it. So I got. I'm like, really? I. I didn't really care that much.

[A]

I'm sorry. Amish Aaron, just googling something 37 minutes later will never not send me, like, peeing into a toilet containing bleach may. Cause.

[B]

Wait, I don't. I don't know what it is I'm thinking about. It's like, something. Something pee on bleach. I don't know.

[A]

I believe you.

[B]

It's like, pee in the shower or something.

[A]

I want to go back to that discharge thing in a second. It's like, does bleach come out of your.

[B]

We should.

[A]

But any hoozy.

[B]

So I. I don't.

[A]

Who got the wrath?

[B]

I had a few drinks. I never drink anymore, so I, like, I'm really feeling confident. And I sent this email, and the next morning I read it, and I was like, oh, no.

[A]

I love via email, though. There is something about using, like, corporate jargon to tell someone they suck. Like, circling back on this. Kill yourself. There's something nice about sending a strongly worded email.

[B]

Well, it's. I'm like, if you're gonna enforce all these rules and be firing people, then you need to evict this person in my hallway.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because. Oh, you want to read it?

[A]

I want to. I need. Or do you want to read it?

[B]

You can read it. You just have to read it in my voice.

[A]

Okay. This is like a Harry Potter book. Ooh, I love the exclamation point already. We won't say his name. Let's say his name is Steven. Hi, Steven. I tried finding your personal number but can't find it anywhere. I turned into you towards the end.

[B]

I already don't like what you've done.

[A]

With your voice, but I really need help navigating my hallway situation. There is someone else on the floor who has cats who needs some capital. Serious. Who needs some serious help. And it is drastically impacting my quality of life. There are people dying, Kim. In this building. It only started being an issue recently, so I'm assuming they are new residents. But our trash room is so filthy. There is dirty blue kitty litter on the walls. It's all over the ground. It is calcified and caked to the chute. Wow. When you put it this way though. It is on the door handle and the carpet. I can smell it from my apartment. I like that. You really gave him a visual. Everyone knows I have two cats. And. And I am losing sleep over the idea of anyone else in this building thinking that I could possibly be the poop a traitor Poopitra. Oh, she had some wine. She did the. Josh was talking. Not sure if you're a cat person, but the litter they are using is crystallized and you could never describe the scent to someone who hasn't experienced it firsthand. Stephen, it will ruin your week. If it were up to me, I think the residents responsible should be evicted and persecuted to the greatest extent of the law. It has taken everything in me not to tape hate mail to the wall of the trash room. Please. If you care about your residence, which I know you do, help me find those responsible and send them my number so that I can teach them the importance of using a liner in your litter box. Oh, my God. Thank you. P.S. should get a raise. P.P.S. should get his job back.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

I'm imagining this man showing up to work 8am exhausted.

[B]

I sent a follow up. I sent a follow.

[A]

Okay, fine. Maybe this was a little dramatic, I admit. But seriously, please. They need a warning, so they got a warning.

[B]

And then two days ago it happened again. So I personally that. What that says to me is that negligence. It's negligence.

[A]

Lack of care.

[B]

And it says authority doesn't matter. And I can now go on my own time and handle this agreement.

[A]

The pooper trator.

[B]

I said poopetrator. I actually stole poopetrader because in middle school, there was somebody who was going to the bathroom and pooping and then smearing it on the walls, and we called them the poopetrator. Nobody knew who they were.

[A]

So what did you. You took this into your own hands?

[B]

I haven't done anything yet. I'm sorry. That was really anticlimactic.

[A]

No, but I almost think that you have to.

[B]

Well, I have to, like, process of elimination. I have to find out who has cats. Because also, like, for example, like, I had a cat tree I was throwing away the other day, and I was like, if I knew who the pooper trader was, maybe I could go, like, make friends and be like, hey, you want this free? By the way, I will literally kill you if you ever go in there without a liner in your litter box ever again.

[A]

Yeah, it is kind of crazy because.

[B]

If they used a liner, they could just pick it up, throw it out. But what they're doing is bringing the whole litter box and turning it over and trying to pour it into the shoot.

[A]

Yeah, that's kind of fucking miserable.

[B]

It's like, it's their first time.

[A]

You really have to play. Like, it's kind of fun. I. I always imagine apartment living is so fun in these cases where it's like, you get to play your own real life game of Clue now. Like, you know what I mean? Who done it? Like, I like, you need Bibi out there in all leopard, like, meowing and, like, seeing what's going on.

[B]

You know what Bibi's doing right now?

[A]

What?

[B]

Hooking up with her neighbor. She's hooking up with her upstairs neighbor. And this is a real text she sent me today.

[A]

I think neighbors, bosses.

[B]

She said, oh, my gosh, I want to prank my neighbor and say he's getting evicted for his loud stomps. She said, can your boyfriend help me make it?

[A]

That the graphics. It's so funny. She just. Like, I have a friend in my life right now who is her boss, and I'm like, these. Like, that is too far. Where you sleep is just where you eat. Where you eat.

[B]

It can be exciting in the moment, but then, like, when the moment's over, I guess I.

[A]

Many a times in my life have let my horniness lead me to horrible decisions. It's bad on the boss, like, fucking my nurse. And now you know. And it's crazy because you still use her.

[B]

She rescued me the other day because you gave me rsv.

[A]

Yeah, I get. Okay. It's so funny because Ty always gets on me for doing this because like Ty will do something and he'll be like, oh my God. Like I got. I got a whole nother beer, right? And then I'll immediately be like, I hate when people say whole nother. Right? And like he'll be like, that's so rude. Like you just gave me the inspo. And you texted me the other day and you were like, you got me sick. Like I'm going to kill you. I forget what you said. And I almost went on tik tok. And I was going to go on this whole tangent about people who legitimately get angry when someone else got them sick. And then I was like, oh, she wouldn't like that. Like this was. You weren't actually angry though. Like you just inspired my thought.

[B]

First of all, I wasn't angry. I sent her a nice text that said, hey, by the way, I did a lab test. This is what we have.

[A]

You are so manipulated. No, I'm just kidding.

[B]

I'm go read the title. What did I say? You have experience. Pull it up.

[A]

She led with I've never been sicker and I'm blaming you. But then you said hahaha. And I was happy to know that it was immediately diffused.

[B]

Well, on the very last episode you guys saw, Tana is sitting here and she's going, I'm deathly ill. I can't believe I almost called out of work today. I had the longest day. I'm so. I've never stick her eyes sobbing my eyes out. And then today I go, she had the nerve to take a photo with me and say, get away from you. You're sick. I go, you got me sick. And I. That actually was so not okay.

[A]

Like diabolical on my behalf, like truly is. I got you sick. And hopefully now I have the antibodies.

[B]

Well, yeah, I got Covid tested because I was scared. But no Covid just rsv, which is apparently like I thought only babies got.

[A]

That, but which is. It's like a upper respiratory virus.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So brutal for me and you to have right before tour. It's like the sickest I've ever been. Like, I got it.

[B]

I was recovering from my eyelid surgery.

[A]

Let's. Let's talk about the lids eyelid gate. Can I say something, Brooke? Amber, Yes. I will always ride for you. But the way I. I have been bringing up what's going on as if it is happening to me at any chance someone even brings up a hate comment or anything, I go on a full unprovoked tangent as if this is happening. To me with what is going on with you right now. I am your biggest supporter and I'm so ready to delve into this conversation because I have been so frustrated for you this past week.

[B]

Yes, as you guys know, I did get my upper blepharoplasty, my very minor, very unserious eyelid surgery where they take a little piece of your eyelid off. Okay. And I know it sounds. Listen, I get it. When you explain it to any normal person, it's like, why would you want to take part of your eyelid off? But it's like, to me, it's the same thing as, like, why would you want to break your nose and reshape it and put it back on? You know what I mean? Like, why would you want to take all the fat in your body and move it to your butt? Like, all of it sounds ridiculous, but for some reason my eyelids are like, way.

[A]

Well, I also. We were talking about it in the car. If your eyelids are bothering you to a point, it's kind of slightly similar to like getting like a breast reduction because you have back pain. You know, if you're, if you're trying to put some mascara on your eyelids drooping into your eye, you can't really see all the way.

[B]

I don't even want to really reduce it to that because I. Like what? Blepharoplasty is a procedure for people who do have droopy eyelids that like, literally do like, affect their vision or like, affect their quality of life. They can be heavy and stuff. And I did not get it for that reason. I got it for purely cosmetic reason because I wanted. I wanted less eyelid.

[A]

What bothers me so much, I think, especially being in la. I'm not kidding you. I probably know, no exaggeration with numbers here. I. I know people get a little upset when I get my numbers mixed up. Okay. I still couldn't tell you how far away 12ft is. However, I would say I probably know like 30 people who have had this surgery in Los Angeles. Like influencers, your favorite influencers, celebrities. I mean, Kendall Jenner has an upper blepharoplasty. Kylie Jenner, Taylor Swift has one.

[B]

Emma Stone, Megan Fox, everybody. I mean, not everybody.

[A]

People get bless removed. Like people get haircuts in Los Angeles. They really fucking do.

[B]

And that's not to say that it should be like, like accepted and normalized and stuff like that.

[A]

It's not like that. I agree with that. That's not what I'm saying. I'm more so saying that I Always feel very frustrated for someone, whether I like someone or not, whatever it is, when they're in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Because had you gotten the surgery and lied about it and gotten caught, you would be receiving as much hate about it as you are right now for getting it and being honest. Like, there. There is no win. And I think it's just crazy to say, like, I literally saw someone saying, like, Brooke Schofield is setting women back 10 years. And I was like, taylor Swift has this.

[B]

Like, Taylor Swift, the most influential. And I'm not even trying to throw Taylor Swift under the bus. I'm a Swiftie till I die. But, like, no, that's the point is.

[A]

Like, she's the most influential person on planet Earth. So it's like, it's just so crazy to me. And like, if anything, you being honest I do respect more. I know that there's the constant debate of. And I just. I also think that it bothers me so much because I think if Ken Yurich or Alex Earl did it, it wouldn't be the same thing. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's people. It would just be their fans kind of being, like, slay for being honest and, like, see all of the things.

[B]

It's like, yeah, I never even thought twice about sharing because, I mean, first of all, if there's one thing I've never done, it's pretend to be naturally gorgeous. Okay? I have spoken about every single thing I've ever done to my face. Filler, botox, arm lipo, boob job, like, now, upper blepharoplasty. Like, I have always been honest about what I've gotten done, and I don't care. Like, that's my personal choice.

[A]

And then I'm seeing, like, Ari Kitsia, the bop house girl, talking about all of her surgeries, and all of her comments are like, wow, thank you so much. Like, more influencers should be like this. I think it just bothers me so much because societally, the overall consensus on Tick Tock is people saying, we want these girls to be honest about the surgeries. And then the second that they are, they're on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, I think the nature of the surgery was the reason that it got a different response. Because if it was like a nose job or something, I don't think anyone would have reacted this way. It was because, like, no one sees people cut their eyelids off. So it seemed like something I just made up out of nowhere and did myself. You Know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah, but I know. And I guess we have to remember that. Like, I'm not kidding you. I hear a girl once a week be like, I'm going to the gym, and then I'm going to community Goods, and then I'm getting an upper bleff.

[B]

That's the point I was trying to make. I never want to make it sound like, no, everybody's doing this, but it's. It, like, doesn't seem crazy to us because we do see people doing that.

[A]

I would say that 55% of women who make up the beauty standard in today's traditional media have potentially had a blephar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would say it's. It is that it's damn near as fucking common as, like, a lip flip. And it's, like, just wild to me to see the way you're being crucified. Because, again, had you just hidden it like the Jenners and the Swifts and all the people of the world, you'd be in trouble then, too. And how come no one's mad at these traditional celebrities for chopping off their eyelids and wearing them like earrings?

[B]

I don't know, but.

[A]

And I really do just genuinely think there are a lot of influencers who could do it and wouldn't get the hate. Even seeing the way people are currently crucifying Remy Bader for waiting the year to talk about something and saying that they wouldn't be. A lot of people's specific take is that they would not be mad at Remy Bader if she talked about it off rip. And then here you are talking about it off rip.

[B]

That's what kind of upset me about it. Because, like, everything, like, especially the conversation around, like, certain celebrities, like Madison Beer, for example, I'm not, like, just calling her out, but people always say, like, oh, she's had all this work done, and she won't be honest about it. And the conversation is always, like, if she was just honest about it, like, no one would care. But she lies like, blah, blah. And I'm like. Like, I literally have never even thought to hide something at all. And it was just, like, immediately the largest, most extreme reaction I've ever.

[A]

Like, no, I saw a TikTok with a million likes. Like, as if you were, like, the face of million.

[B]

Like, I'm getting word for word. She goes, I'm all for women doing what makes them happy. Except for Brooke Schofield. Okay? Like, here's the thing.

[A]

I just think if they're gonna try to make a movement around you, then like, 97 people need to line up, like the Squid games and be called to the stand as well. And that's why it's.

[B]

What the real answer is.

[A]

Frustrating.

[B]

The answer is, like, because it's like, do you want me to be honest or do you want me to not be honest? The answer is we want you to be honest, but also not do anything. So it's like, at what point is it like, okay, so now I'm just. You're telling me what I, like, I'm not allowed to do with my body. It's just strange. Like, I don't know. I personally, I'm glad that, like, this is something I really, like, truly thought about and, like, slept on for so many years and, like, wanted to do and was so secure about it because had this been something I was like, kind of going back and forth between, I would be, like, so upset. But right now, because the comments, like, literally on the video of me having already had it done, like, my eyelids are sliced. All the comments are like, you looked better before. This is so sad, scary, disgusting.

[A]

Like, you look this.

[B]

Are you guys okay?

[A]

Also, like, it's very slight.

[B]

Another major point I want to make is, like, had I not said anything, none of you would have noticed.

[A]

Like, no, it's so the same.

[B]

Everyone always says, like, oh, I'm doing it for me. But, like, genuinely, like, when people are like, you had nothing to change. Like, it's hardly even a difference. I'm like, that's the point. Like, I am doing it, like, so that I can do something easier. It's like literally the most minuscule difference.

[A]

It's. And it is just so wild to the amount of people. Like, bbls when bbls have, like, a death rate. Like, it's a very, like, BBL is.

[B]

The most, like, extreme, dangerous, dangerous surgery in the world. So more people die from bbls than any other surgery. Like, and, oh, my God, it's just. It's. This is like, it's more dangerous to get your tooth pulled. Genuinely.

[A]

I think it all just comes down to if you want to do it and it would make you feel more confident. You have one life. I do understand, you know, pushing the. The beauty standard and whatnot, but it's like, I don't know, dude, you. You see, it's so wild. Like, if I were. Our jobs are on camera and all people do is pick apart how we look. And like, God forbid you want to do something to make yourself feel more confident. And it's like, one girl, swear to.

[B]

God, commented she's like, this is so ridiculous. I can't believe you did this. Blah, blah, blah. And then she goes, and I just googled your age. I can't believe you're only 28. I literally thought you were 45. I go, did you just judge me for getting plastic surgery and call me old looking in the same comment? Like, this is why I feel like I have to do it. But point is, listen.

[A]

No, they're gonna hate when I pop out looking like Donatella Versace going through a wind tunnel like a golden retriever out the window. Like, I'm gonna look like this.

[B]

No, the thing is, I. I get. I get what, like, everyone's actual messages, which is like, we don't want to push it on little girls and stuff. But I've never been somebody who's, like, like, looking to, like, be the good influence on, like, young girls to love themselves and stuff. Because I've always been someone who's gotten things done. I haven't always been, like, a super, like, secure person. I've changed a lot of things about myself. Like, and I'm not ashamed of it. Whatever. Then you get the comments that are like, well, your daughter. Like, what about your daughter? She's gonna be born with your eyelids.

[A]

And think about the amount of families who get their dog. I. There were, like, six girls at my school getting nose jobs for their 16th birthday. I was like, damn.

[B]

I thought about it. I'm like, what if my daughter, like, it does. It is sad that she doesn't have my eyelids. But I'm like, honest to God, I just, like, I'm hoping and praying I.

[A]

Want to adopt just so my child doesn't get my OG nose.

[B]

I just hope my daughter's more focused on the fact that I have a huge fucking rack.

[A]

I just. It's so wild. Because the flip side of the coin is then you have the daughter worshiping Kendall Jenner for being so beautiful and comparing herself. Why don't I look like this? And, like, whatever. But then Kendall's had an upper blepharoplasty, right? And it's like. And other things as well. And it's like, that's the problem is.

[B]

That people think that they can achieve this naturally. And, like, I. I didn't. People can. There are people who are just naturally beautiful. But I, like, not that I wasn't. I never thought I was ugly or anything, but, like, I did not achieve how I look naturally. And I'm. God forbid you try to tell someone.

[A]

I guess I see the overall message of where people are coming from. I just do not appreciate seeing you be. Made the face of it. I think, like I said, there are so many other people who would then have to be called to the stand for perpetuating so many narratives. And also, like, But I don't even.

[B]

Mind, because it's like, if it's gonna happen to anyone, like, who cares? I, like, make me the face of it. But, like, let people live. Like, let people do what they want. I would never say something to somebody for getting, like, tattoos all over their body or making their hair blue or whatever it is. Like, I don't care because that's not me. That doesn't affect me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All negativity aside, I love my new eyelids.

[A]

It's interesting. And I even just wonder how this conversation will be received and if. If it will just, like, continue to. I piss people off. And, like, whatever, but I just. Yeah, I just don't think it's fair. That's. That's what it is.

[B]

I'm sure what people are going to say and, like, I. I get it to an extent is that, like, the. The points going over our heads, like, and it's in the patriarchy and stuff. And, like, I understand that, but, like, don't make me the example. I don't want to be the one to set the example for the patriarchy.

[A]

Like, yeah, that's my takeaway is that it's just unfair that if you're the example, then so is, like, every other bitch. And it is so interesting how certain things are held to different calibers. Like, boob jobs are completely fine. And then, like.

[B]

And things are just so different from person to person. Like, a lot of people were like, like, seriously, you're gonna do, like, a surgery so that you can do your makeup better. But, like, my job is to be on camera and be on stage. So, like, yeah, if I wanted to get a breast reduction because it made wearing clothes easier because, like, you know, I was a model or something, like, everyone would get behind me on that. It's like, it just is. It's really. I don't know. It's strange. And also, like. And I did not do it because anyone's criticized my appearance at all. I did it. Like, I truly did it because it's something I've always wanted. But, like, the same people who are mad at me are the people who are like, you look a million years old. You look horrible. Like, what happened to Brooke's face? Like, blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, I don't get it.

[A]

Yeah. And it is just so wild that people will comment on people's looks so hard to push them to a point, to want to change certain things and then be mad that they did. I am so excited to see Cirque du Soleil, oh, tonight in Las Vegas. I love getting out of the house and seeing a live show. And I've been looking for the best deal on tickets, which is why I want to give the sponsor of today's video, SeatGeek, a huge shout out. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70, 000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. So many artists are going on tour and you can get tickets to Kendrick Lamar and Sza the Weeknd, Beyonce, Morgan Wallen, and more. I love using SeatGeek because I love attending live events. I'm excited to attend the Fray with Landon Barker opening, doing his little bathroom jig on Stage this fall. SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10. So you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And you know I came through for you guys. You can use code cancel 2025 for 10 off your next set of tickets on SeatGeek. That's 10 off any tickets with promo code canceled 2025. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek, for sponsoring today's episode of the canceled podcast. I think it's just a you can't win situation. And it's so interesting. That is why I feel for you, because I think no matter what you did or said, you couldn't win. And I almost wish those people saying all these things would imagine being in your position, like, in that way that, like, if you didn't get it, people are gonna comment on how you look old and how you. Whatever. If you get it and you tell people you're a part of the problem. If you get it and you hide it, you're a liar. But then if you don't get it, you look like shit. Like, it's. It's like. Do you know what I mean? It's so interesting. I don't think there's really a winning.

[B]

I don't know. I win because I have the eyelids that I want to have, all right? And now I can do it. I Literally, I'm telling you, I. First of all, obviously, they're not ready yet. I literally still have my stitches installed. I got my regular stitches out, but I have, like, the long stitches still in. That's why I'm wearing my glasses. But you can see. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm going to be able to do the thickest, most wing.

[A]

You know what you should do? That would be really funny if for, like, two weeks straight, you were online with, like, the most intricate graphic designer. Looks like you should have Alexis Oakley over putting fucking Mona Lisa on your, like, starry night across your eye.

[B]

Alexis also got a bluff, like, openly, and nobody said a word to her.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I guess that's. That's what I'm just. I don't think it's fair, but we've exhausted the point at nauseum. I think the people who are going to agree, agree, and you need to just live your best life with them lids, girl.

[B]

Well, I achieved exactly what I set out to achieve, so. Honestly, Fudge, y'all, you should go take.

[A]

A photo in front of Lids, the hat store, like a lid storefront, and just post it. Like, new Lids.

[B]

Who this?

[A]

Yeah, it's just, like. It's not. I don't know.

[B]

I live and die by my prior hooded lids. Lids are beautiful. I love hooded lids. But I couldn't do a winged eyeliner, and I love a winged eyeliner. I love when I'm looking like this and you can see a wing.

[A]

No, I'm talking, like, we're international, and then, like, we're in France. So you have, like, the. The France.

[B]

Yeah, I want to have the Eiffel Tower going this way.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. You need to do it all. And honestly, I'm gonna do it on you, and we're gonna make a little collab series out of it. And I love you so much, and I love your eyelids. And I just don't. I just don't think it's. I just don't think it's fair.

[B]

I'm so happy. In, like, four more days, the bruising is going to be gone, and I'm getting my long stitch out, and then I'm going to be ready to go.

[A]

And I love ble. Let's be so real.

[B]

Bloni.

[A]

Okay. Did you see Rain Disick on live? Not to just immediately cut to, like, something so well. No. Hello. Did you see Rain Disick on Instagram or TikTok? Hello? Did you see rain Disick on TikTok Live.

[B]

Like, we should leave all that in. Yes, I did. He was on Alabama's boyfriend's TikTok live.

[A]

Yes. And he's on live being like, justin Bieber isn't my dad and, like, talking his shit.

[B]

Just. What. What kind of conversation do you think Courtney had to have with Alabama after that?

[A]

It's gotta be lawless over there, right? Like, does she just go in the room with Rocky, the baby, and then, like, they. You know what I mean? Like Trav and then like, he's playing guitar in the corner and everyone else is a free for all? Like, guitar. You know, drums.

[B]

Sorry. I'm sorry. How was that my only takeaway? I'm sorry.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I guess.

[A]

Yeah, well, when you don't know if Justin Bieber's your father or not, maybe he does rain.

[B]

I don't think. If I were you, I would just let that one, because that's amazing. That's an amazing rumor to have spread about you. You know, some rumors that you're like, I'm going to let that one keep going.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like when people thought I was dating Glen Powell. Let's keep that going.

[A]

It's so fair. But it's just like, we've got Alabama having all the boyfriends over and then like, reigns on the lives. Like, in what world, too, did we think, like, send them over to Scott's maybe? Like, you know, it's like, I just. I didn't. I don't know, it felt like.

[B]

Do you think that there's something else, like, going on in the family right now that we're being distracted from? Oh, like, like someone putting, like a secret baby or something.

[A]

They're putting the Barkers on the front lines. They should run back that Meet the Barker show. But like today's edition and then see.

[B]

All talks about it.

[A]

It's just like, I don't like it because he's a kid and it just feels like Alabama kind of does circle in all these new people constantly. So it's like, how long has that guy on the live known rain to then be having him debunk who his father is on the fuck. I just. It was just wild to me. I was like, no way.

[B]

It is pretty crazy. I just know I just would live to be a fly on the wall and just hear what Courtney, like, her reaction to that because, you know, she's.

[A]

Told them kids to get off live 75 times.

[B]

Thing I do know, like, the Kardashian Jenners, all those kids, like, had Very strict Internet like social media rules.

[A]

Well and it's just like, God, I would wish that my kids obsessions were like cap cut or something. Something in post. Like I would be, I would be so stressed that all of my kids fixations were being live.

[B]

Like oh, that's so scary.

[A]

Even just. Yeah, like I'm think my own damn self. If I had a kid and my kid was like, mommy, I want to go live. And I've got, you know, just ever. I don't know, like there needs to.

[B]

Be like what's the. You know how on like certain channels they have like a kill button and it's like it's on like a five second delay.

[A]

Exactly. Like it's like even when like, like Ty Collins loves going live. And I'll be like scrolling through my for you at night and I'll see Ty like out at a club live. And it like that's just like my friend. And I'm getting stressed and I love Ty more than anything. I'm just like this is being drunk on live. And obviously I've done my fair share of that too.

[B]

So that's not why there's so many Ash Trevino clubs.

[A]

Do you know, one time I've been really these days for some reason hyper fixated and just reflecting on the Dizzy Wine era. I think as I'm coming out with these pickles, it feels a little similar. All the things I'm having to do like the PR boxes and the trial testing and having all the people in my life tested and like whatever. And obviously at one point in my life I was doing this with wine and Dizzy Wines were. This is actually perfect that this is here for reference. Were this big, exact, I think literally 6.5 fluid ounce. Like the exact same amount. This big. And four of them equated to a bottle of wine. Which looking back is like I might as well have been selling Norcos with my branding on it. Like that is not okay. And like we would have everybody constantly testing them and just like anything like the pickles right now I have a hundred of them in my house. So I'd have like thousands of cases of wine in my house. House. And I've just been looking back at that time of my life and it's like I was so messy because I was literally faced. There was a time where I woke up at like 9pm I went downstairs, I finished a case of Dizzy Wine myself.

[B]

Oh, I remember that.

[A]

And I woke up on live. I woke up on live.

[B]

I remember this. It was really, it was Naughty.

[A]

Imagine the anxiety and the stress to wake up on Live. I woke up on Live. Like, oh, my God. And Chris and Paige, I remember they would not let me live it down.

[B]

Obviously, it was dark time, and I was in the depths of Reddit at the time. And I remember them just having a field day.

[A]

It was. Oh, my. I remember. Oh, my God. It is so funny how much I would just get in trouble during those times. Like, everyone would be like, Reddit is really upset with you. Like, I wouldn't read it, obviously. And, like, just I would get in so much trouble, obviously. Just hammered faced, shit faced.

[B]

Yeah. I'm really happy you're out of that area of your life.

[A]

I'm trying to think other happen other dizzy mishaps. You know, it's funny too.

[B]

I had. I had something. I drank, like, two dizzies and I think I, like, went to the hospital or something. Oh, I remember I was like, oh, my God, I can't drink.

[A]

It just tasted like wine, though. That's the thing. It didn't taste exponentially, like, strong. So it would, like, really fudge you up, like, on some surprise. You know what I mean? It's funny, the other day, someone commented on my pickle thing, and they were like, another failed business venture. Okay. Hurt my feelings a little. And it's true. I've had a lot of things that I ended up doing and then just deciding they weren't for me and, like, whatever. And it's funny because Dizzy wine was so successful. Like, it was truly making so, like, it was doing so well. You know what I mean? I was kind of reinvesting back into it. So it wasn't like, crazy profit, but, like, I could have continued to do Dizzy. The number one reason I stopped doing it is because it did not align with my life anymore. Like, had I continued to have that brand, I would have died.

[B]

Well, I love that. Cause it's like, had you been still pushing this alcohol and you're sober, I'd be like, bitch, I'm not buying your alcohol.

[A]

Well, and there was no way to. I would've just had to continue to drink it. And it was killing me. Even just the Dizzy parties. Like, the next day, I would wake up every time we had a Dizzy event to, like, nine influencers texting me. Like, almost as if they, like, roofied themselves the night before. Like, nobody ever, like, came. And even if you had won, you were drunk as fuck.

[B]

There's an infamous photo of me and Bibi at your Disney party, and I'm holding her Hair and she's puking. And we had just gotten there.

[A]

There was one night where I was. I was dating someone and I had a dizzy party and I invited every single ex boyfriend I'd ever had.

[B]

Funniest thing you've ever done. No, it was like. I'm pretty sure you were trying to, like, put them in it. Like, you know when you put betta fish together and they fight. She invited all they were. She was seeing all of them at the same time, and she invited all of them to the same party, and she was entertaining all of them. It was amazing.

[A]

No, I think I hooked up with, like, all of them that night. And it was so funny because it was like a rapper, a cowboy, a TikTok dancer. There was so many.

[B]

But that's how they don't suspect each other.

[A]

Yeah, it's so true.

[B]

She'll have them talking to each other.

[A]

That is so true. I was. I, like, used to live for that. Like, inviting two guys I was dating at the same time and watching what kind of six and, like, watching them Kiki. And then I take photos of them together, and they'd be like, why are you taking a photo of us together? And I'd be like, oh, no reason. Like, I just like your outfits.

[B]

And it was, like, too obvious for that. Like, oh, God, you're so good.

[A]

No, it's. It was just, like, brutal. Even. Like, right now, we're working on all the graphics for tour, and at the end of the show, we always kind of do a little. A little montage, a little wholesome, you know, just like. Like for the last one, it was kind of all these clips of you and I like loving each other and just like, you know what I mean? And we play it, and Hannah Montana, you'll always find your way back home. Plays and everyone sings along. And it's very sweet. Cause the canceled viewers, like, feel like they're kind of. They've been a part of this journey. So it's very sweet. And this one. The whole theme of this show is kind of how far we've come as people across this journey. So the ending montage is straight up, like, us blacked out, cutting to, like, talking about anal, cutting to me being like, I'm sober now and, like, Dizzy Party, like, tracks out whatever to, like, let's go to home goods for Patreon. Like, it's actually insane how far we've come. I don't know.

[B]

I love it. I'm happy. I'm happy we're not there anymore.

[A]

Me too. It's just like. What do you mean you woke up online?

[B]

Woke up on live. Don't look. Don't look into it. Don't try to find it.

[A]

Oh, my God. And I would. I would like.

[B]

And whatever you do, don't try to find that video of her at Thanksgiving.

[A]

Oh, my. Well, we all know what I had for dinner instead of food. It's just like. It's insane. That's. Oh, my God. That was bad. I think Thanksgiving gate.

[B]

No friendsgiving has ever been wholesome.

[A]

I had to stop having friendsgivings because it's like we'd make all this food and then nobody would eat it. We'd make a thousand jello shots and everyone would just be shit faced.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was just like.

[B]

There was like a violent altercation at one of our friendsgivings.

[A]

I forgot about that.

[B]

Yeah, he's in prison now.

[A]

Who did he fight?

[B]

I don't know. Dylan.

[A]

Oh my God, I forgot about that. They were fist fighting in my living room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you like nose dived into the fight.

[B]

No, someone elbowed me in the face. And then Ari's like, brooke, why are you jumping in? I'm like, I'm not jumping in.

[A]

No way. That's so. That is insane. Like Thanksgiving. Be thankful. Wholesome, like. And then there was a fist fight in my living room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was like. That was the same too. It was like Lil Xan and Bryce hall and like, what a time. So insane. I can't. That's like.

[B]

We've lived so many lives together.

[A]

We really have.

[B]

I measure it in. In the houses that you lived in, like, this was this era. This was this era.

[A]

I agree. Because they're all very different. I brought a new dark energy to every single house I lived in. Up until the last two got my shit together.

[B]

Yeah. Now you're slaying.

[A]

Yeah. So wholesome. But whatever.

[B]

I have bad news.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Oh, you go first.

[A]

No, you go first.

[B]

No, I've been talking too much.

[A]

No, I think you go.

[B]

My friend is dating Pete Davidson.

[A]

She looks a lot like Hailey Bieber to me.

[B]

Yeah, she's very beautiful. And I guts, so.

[A]

And she dated Benny Blanco.

[B]

She did.

[A]

It's so funny the way the Internet just. Or just celebrity. All of it. It all ties together. Everyone is one person away from one person. I have a problem.

[B]

What's your problem?

[A]

So, you know I'm in my new grown era, right? And with that comes a lot of things. You know, just being more responsible with everything, including my finances. And I don't like, to do it. You know how I feel. It stresses me out. But I've been making my new bit, you know, kind of keeping up more with my bookkeeper, texting her, hey, you know, just, what's up? What am I spending the most money on? Which expenses are really high? Where can I cut certain expenses? And she's like, you know, Tina, you're doing really good lately. You're spending much less money on neon leather chaps on. You know, I prayed for that and private jets and all the things. But here are the things that I do think you're spending a little bit too much money on. She sent me a list of my expenses. In 30 days, I spent $8,300 on Uber Eats. $1,295 on DoorDash.

[B]

Have you no shame?

[A]

In one month? In one month.

[B]

Okay, where. First of all, where are you ordering from, dude? Caviar? Caspia?

[A]

Like, no, that's the thing. I have nothing to show for it, Brooke. I have nothing to show at all. And it's like, I was trying to blame it on inflation, but I think I'm just inflating. I. I'm like, literally, I don't even know. It's. She was like, if you hired a private chef to be at your house on salary, you would save a significant amount of money. Like, that's crazy.

[B]

Wait, are you sure someone else isn't logged in?

[A]

I mean, I do feed a lot of other people a lot. You know, I'm going to try to accredit this to my generosity, but I'm going to tell you something, when I go to bed, and I know I'm not that you need to make a budget.

[B]

Yeah. Or imagine if, like, you had parental locks on your.

[A]

Yeah, that's the thing, though. It's like, I Uber eats everything, like, tampons and Sudafed and paper towels and toilet paper and water bottles and all the things, and I do them all, like, separately. And, like, I'm. I'm accrediting a lot of this to, like, the fees of it all. Like, I don't think it's the prices of things. I think even if right now I was ordering something for two hours from now, I would order it priority. And it's like, like, okay, that's stupid.

[B]

Do you, like, if you needed tampons, would you go to, like, CVS and just order tampons? Yeah, see, that's. Yeah, that's you. Because I, like, literally, I will sooner bleed out than, like, buy one thing that I need. If I Don't need three things. I don't have an order.

[A]

No, and you're so right. And it's like, I also pay people to be my assistants. It's like you're someone's on a salary. Maybe send them to a store. Maybe. It's just so you know that it totals out to like $300 a day.

[B]

That's just ridiculous.

[A]

For $300 a day, you can keep a blonde American girl overfed with MSG.

[B]

Imagine what we could do for Marianne with 300.

[A]

I know. And it's again, it's. It's like, it's no home munchies and it's hot Cheeto Elote and it's chicken fries from Burger King. It's not even like, like, I would feel more satisfied if it was fucking like Nobu. It's like, where is it going at this point? It's like, get. Get back on Manjaro.

[B]

Like, honestly, that could be a good money, good financial decision.

[A]

Literally, like, just financial decision aside. Like, Manjaro would save me $5,000 a month. I. I re. And it's so crazy because it's like, I realize how insane this sounds. And it's like I battled with even bringing it to the podcast, but I think that especially in light of Anna Paul and like a lot of other people, I. I just hate when an influencer pretends, you know, like, I'm gonna tell you the truth. Here's how I awfully spent my money and I'm gonna be better and smarter and like, like, I learned a valuable lesson. It's. I feel like it's in the same category as like forkies. And it's like, oh my God, like, gluttony.

[B]

You are in a. A nice position though, like, where you live with several people. Like, I used to always think, like, oh, I can't grocery shop because it's like, it's hard to cook for one person. It's hard to grocery shop for one person because, like, everything like, goes bad. Whatever. You have like a whole family living with you. Like, make dinner.

[A]

I. I realized too that I'm. And I need to like, work on this mentally. But I'm always leaving for something, like, work related. I'm all. I'm usually always like, oh, in a week and a half's time, I have to go somewhere to do something. So then I tell myself, like, don't buy groceries. They'll go bad. But I'm just in this perpetual state of like, oh, I'll do it when I'm home for A while. Like, I'm never gonna be home for a while.

[B]

So it's like I always, like, fuck myself in that way. It's the same like, I don't know, like, do you. Well, just. You. Never mind. You would not know the answer to that. I was gonna say, like, do you ever, like, go to get gas and like, you don't fill your. Up your tank all the way because you're like, oh, I'll do it later. But like, you literally have never driven.

[A]

A car at all. Well, I have driven a car a few times, but it wasn't good. But yeah, touring, I think puts you in this constant mind state too, of like, I'm gonna be gone, therefore, like all. You put off a lot of things because you're like, I'll do it after.

[B]

I feel about cleaning my closet right now. I'm like, well, I'm about to pack for tour. Why would I clean? To just pull it all out again.

[A]

$8,300. You. I. Yeah, that's just be on a TLC show.

[B]

It's truly despicable and you need to be punished.

[A]

Yeah. I was gonna say, speaking of despicable and go on this whole tangent about minions, but it's like, you gotta have something better than that.

[B]

I'm newly into holistic medicine.

[A]

Okay. They're kind of minions.

[B]

I don't know, Healing my gut naturally.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Instead of taking iron supplements, I have upped my beef intake. That is all.

[A]

I feel like if I could do any diet, it would be like a, like a meat centered situation.

[B]

I could for sure do like, you know that who had. Wait. She's probably super nice. It literally, like, it literally stung, like.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

I don't know why I talked to you with the, with the cutting board. And she just has a state for. I think she's honestly flexing her wealth on us, but she's. Every day she's just ripping into like a new T bone steak like, every day. It's like a teenager.

[A]

You would be on Steak Talk.

[B]

I'm on. I'm on. I do think, like, there could be money in beef merch. I think we could put like, I love beef. Because it's. It could mean like, I love beef or like, I love beef.

[A]

This is where I go to my constant pitch of you needing your own merch. I actually would. I would wear that. And I do love beef. No, I don't.

[B]

Well, I'm afraid. I don't know, like, what kind of. I don't know.

[A]

I think you should have Mouse and Murphy on. On shirts I think you should have. And that would just pay for their vet bills. So it's kind of like an even, like, baby teas in exchange for constantly visiting the open concept veterinary center. Yeah, I heart beef. Something about labias. Those could go together even.

[B]

Okay, I. I'm afraid that I'm making labia my, like, bleach and don't. Like. I'm afraid that my labia is like my Benson Boone backflip. Like, I've gotta shut the fuck up about it or it's gonna become my signature, like, really quickly.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

I love my large labia, by the way. And you know what? That's what I say. Back to all these plastic surgery shamers. I talk so openly about my fucking. I wave my labia like a fucking.

[A]

Sure, you could have just gone and gotten a labiaplasty.

[B]

Yeah, and bitches are cutting them off left and right.

[A]

Literally left and right.

[B]

Not me. I'm sitting on mine right now. Fuck you.

[A]

This is something I never thought I would say in 2025.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Can we call Lila Gibney right now?

[B]

Yes. Wait, should we give? Should we give? Like, should we explain the situation first?

[A]

Yes. But what if she just tells us no? I don't know. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, she's not going to. So Lila one time was on a trip. Who was she with? I think she was with Michaela Testa. She was. She was at Michaela Testa and Alexa Delanos, I think, and they were in the Baha. Like the Bahamas or like somewhere tropical and beautiful. And we were all in a group chat at the time, and. And Lila sent in the group chat. She was like, you guys are going to die.

[A]

Well, no, I have. Yeah, I have 40 cents in my bank account and I've overdrafted $8,000.

[B]

She goes, I just paid literally $3,000 for the most insane, insane photos. Like, you're going to die. Like, we're deep diving in the ocean. Like, scuba diving. Photo shoot, full photo shoot, professional photographer. And we're like, lila, you have no money. Like, what do you mean? You just spent $3,000 on this.

[A]

Like, these better be met gala level.

[B]

And with her whole fucking chest. She sent us the photos. And I pray to God that she allows us to share them.

[A]

I just want Lila to be in on this. Hi, I'm calling you live from the canceled podcast. Hello.

[B]

Rise and shine.

[A]

Okay, Lila, the other day, I know this is. This is new. This. It's. It feels nostalgic a little. And I just want to let you know that, you know, you are the funniest person alive, and that is something that we're never going to negate. Okay, and the other. And the other day, we were going through our camera rolls. Oh, no. And we found the photos of you scuba diving with the sharks. Yeah.

[B]

Remember when you paid thousands of dollars?

[A]

No, Like, I want to say 3, 800. Like, I want to say I hit negative and I want to, like, show them on the podcast, but I don't. I didn't want you to, like, see the clip and think that you weren't, like, in on this. Like, I wanted to get your permission. My permission is insane. Wait, my permission to do what? So show these photos of you scuba diving on the cancel podcast right now. Like, when.

[B]

When I'm drown.

[A]

Wait, what you want? Like, just think that, like, you. Oh, the underwater one. Yes. Like, you really led with foot. Oh, yeah, I know. And then, I'm not gonna lie, I want to say.

[B]

I don't know what it was.

[A]

I. I want to say, like, do you guys remember this?

[B]

Like, I think my, like, nipple was.

[A]

Out in one of the underwater photos. It got my Instagram deleted. Literally paid. Paid. Gave 3.8 for shitty photos and no Instagram.

[B]

The funniest part of the whole thing was you thinking the photos were, like, literally top notch, gorgeous, perfect.

[A]

It's just. It's so good. It's so good. We were going through our camera rolls, trying to, like, write this live show. Also, Lila, do you remember when I tried to pay you When I tried to pay you $50 a day to come on the canceled tour? No, I want to say it was less. I want to say Brooke told me it was like, 14.99, dude. And everyone was like, tana, that's unethical.

[B]

I vouched for you.

[A]

No, Brooke was right. It's actually crazy to think it's like, tana, like, you gotta pay her more than that. It's just. And I was like, this is a great deal. No, it was like, 14.99 to do the show. But then, swear to God, before the show, you'd pay me, I don't know, 75 per minute to give you a back massage. Yeah. And it just made no sense. You ended up getting paid more as a masseuse than talent. Well, I love you, and I just. I wanted to just give you a little ring and let you know that that is not real. That your scuba photos were a topic of discussion I found over here. I don't even think I Have the photos. We'll send them to you.

[B]

I'm putting us all in a group chat.

[A]

I love you, Gibney. I love you. Bye. Bye. Dude, I miss her so much sometimes.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

She's just so, so, like, it's, like, so good. The Foot 3800 is actually, like, truly diabolical.

[B]

Like, it's got her Instagram deleted.

[A]

And it's got to be. It's like.

[B]

Like, this is so relatable, you know, when you're younger and, like, you found, like, photos of, like, Jay Alvarez and Alexis Ren and you got an underwater.

[A]

Camera and, like, you think you're recreating that.

[B]

That's what this is giving.

[A]

And it's funny because even how I was just talking about, like, is my security not doing his job? Karma for Tanacon. Like, you know, she did something on, like, Depop where, like, that 3800 was, like, fully justified.

[B]

Yeah, that's for that guy's $80.

[A]

And I know how people. I can already see the people now. Like, you guys are gonna be back together in a second and, like, all these things. And it's not that. I just think that even as you grow with people or with or without people, like, you know, let's say we've all kind of grown and our lives are a little different, I can have appreciation for her bringing a level of comedy, like, that's insane. Like, to go negative for scuba diving photos. Like, that week was the funniest week of my life because of that. And I have so much appreciation for that. And I'm just. I'm rooting for her no matter what.

[B]

There's nobody on the planet.

[A]

She even. She made a TikTok, like, I want to say a week or two ago where she was kind of just opening up about struggles with sobriety and different things, and I was like, dude, like, I texted her. I was just like, no matter how close we are, I'm so proud of you for taking the steps on these journeys, and I want nothing more than to see her thrive and win. And now I can look back so much at all of these things, and no one will ever bring that level of humor. That girl needs a reality show so.

[B]

Bad, but she'd be destroyed.

[A]

But so what if Paul American. Paul American should honestly have Lila Gibney on for an episode?

[B]

I'm pretty sure she's got a restraining order or, like, Jake Paul has a restraining order on her or something.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Remember, like, I got kicked out of the Team 10 house for being trained.

[A]

See, And I Remember things like that. And it's like, oh, wow. Oh, my God, I forgot. That was so crazy. My 21st birthday, Jake was supposed to come, and then he was beefing with Lila and Cole, and it became this whole respect thing because I didn't. I invited them. And. And it was Armageddon. It was truly a tale of two cities. The Paul camp and the Lila Cole camp. And it was, oh, my God, Jordan Marona, smack dab in the middle.

[B]

Our lives are funny.

[A]

Yeah, that's. Oh, my God, I forgot all about that. And I was crying like someone died. And like, looking back, it's like, Jake Paul didn't want to go to your 21st birthday because Lila Gibney was there. Like, you stop crying. Like, oh, my God. So good. While I'm giving flowers, I guess I don't know if I was really giving flowers, actually. I was trying to give Lila her flowers. I'm proud of her for posting that. Well, I have a few things, actually. I did just want to give Kayla Malik her flowers. Like, she. I'm so proud of her online. Just coming at this man so hard and finally. You know what I mean? Like, that's so fucking sad to be in a situation like that. And like. Like, it's wild because every time I see this now, especially, it lights such a fire under my ass. She talks about this man being so abusive to her. He broke her jaw. He was strangling her. And you know what's crazy that I didn't know until all of this is that when a man. When domestic violence gets to the point of strangulation, the chances of him killing you go up by 700%. 700%. Like, his name is Evan Johnson. And it's like, I just. I want to say his name. I. That man deserves nothing but prison. And I can't believe she had to go through all of that. And it's so crazy. You always say you don't know what someone's going through and all those things, you know, and it's. It's wild that she was still being so bubbly and fun and light online while the heaviest was happening in her life. But still, I see so many comments where it's like. And from women, too, where it's like, I'll see a video that's about her domestic abuse situation, and the top comment is like. Like, I don't like her, but yada, yada, yada. Like, it's. Or like, I know Kayla's crazy, but yada, yada, yada. And, like, just still this like, air of, like, victim shaming and blaming because people do not fit the case of their perfect victim. It makes me so mad. Like, I sent her voice memos even just being like, dude, I'm so proud of you. You're gonna help so many people. And she was like, like, essentially saying to me, like, you inspired me to be able to do this, like, if type of thing. You know what I mean? And it's like, it's so crazy how often you just see these crazy girls being shunned to speak up because they're crazy because society still does that. Like, nobody asked if you like her or not.

[B]

Yeah. And like, like, it. It's so frustrating. But I. I don't, like, I don't see it ever stopping. You know what I mean? But it's like. I don't know. It's kind of goes back to what we were saying before, where it's like, it's all a part of a bigger issue. But it's like, it is a lot of, like, the women who are doing it all the time. And it's like, wait, how did we get here?

[A]

And just all of it. Like, if a girl is not a perfect angel, then she does not get the full right to have the same amount of empathy when being a victim as so many other women would get. And it's so wild. I had a girl recently. A couple. No, actually, last night, one of my girlfriends called me, and she does, right? And she was just kind of asking my opinion on this. And she was like, I really want to talk about something that happened to me when I was a child, but I can already see the comments now of saying that, like, I'm lying about this or I deserve it, or, like, look, that it just ended up with me doing of. And, like, whatever. And like, essentially we talked it all through, and obviously I'm telling her, like, it sucks that the world is like that. And, like, if you don't feel ready to talk about this shit, don't then. You know what I mean? Because you. You are unfortunately gonna face so much of that. But her end takeaway was like, I'm not gonna share what happened to me. And mind you, she has so many fans where this could be so helpful, but I'm not gonna share it to me, because people won't take this seriously or have empathy for me or care for me, because I also do os.

[B]

And it's, like, disgusting. It's. It's horrible.

[A]

I just, like, I'm. You know, that I'm, like, such a ride or Die. Especially just like, with everything that's happened with me about people taking any victim seriously, even if they're not your perfect girl. Bad can happen to Outspoken.

[B]

Somehow less bad because it happened to somebody who, like, either you don't like or you don't agree with or who does something that you might not want to do. Like, it doesn't make any sense.

[A]

Yeah. Like.

[B]

Like, two things. Things can be true at the same time. Like, something horrible can have happened to somebody and they do something that you don't care about.

[A]

It's just as bad happening to Kayla Malik as it is happening to Gabby Petito. It's just as bad happening to Tana Mojo as it is happening to. You know what I mean? Just, like, it's so wild. I don't know. I'm just forever gonna ride for that. And I. I just want to say I'm so proud of Kayla Malik because it's like, you're being the voice for so many of these girls, and the more that it continues to happen and, I don't know, just the more that women like her and I speak up about things that happen to them, the more it will normalize that. And I think it's still just very sad societally, you know.

[B]

I agree. And it makes you think, like, you know, obviously, like you said, she was, like, posting and being bubbly and posting these makeup videos and stuff, and, like, she was getting hate and stuff. And it's like, how many people is that happening to right now that haven't come out and, like, you know, said something like, we're watching it maybe in real time time, like, just be nicer to people. It's so crazy.

[A]

Yeah. And it is just so crazy, too, that still people take somebody speaking up about something, and it kind of like going viral, quote unquote, as an invitation to then discuss all the things they like or don't like about them. Like, it has nothing to do with if you like her or not. And the fact that women everywhere leading with that, like, I don't like her, but it's like, yeah.

[B]

And people are like, you know, I'm. I'm sorry for being rude about her when this was going on. It's like, maybe you just shouldn't have been rude about her. Like, something horrible doesn't have to happen to somebody for you to have, like, empathy for them. Like, it's really kind of crazy. And I saw something else, like, talking about Gabby Petito, actually, and they were like, you know, like, Gabby Petito was like the girl who kept Going back to her ex boyfriend and the girl who, like, didn't listen to you when you said, like, leave your stupid guy, like, boyfriend, whatever. Like, you need to have more grace for people because it's like, that kind.

[A]

Of shit happens 100%.

[B]

It's awful.

[A]

It's so awful. But I'm really proud of Kayla and I just, like, I absolutely adore her. And I think that's it. Yeah, you don't have to like someone and you don't have to say that you don't like someone. You, you know, leave it out of the comment.

[B]

Like, backspace. What the. Do we care if you like somebody or not? Like, just have.

[A]

And that just doesn't happen with men. It really doesn't. It's. It's never a question when something happens to a guy about his personality and his. You know what I mean? Like, like, truly, I think societally, women's personalities and the way they dress, the way they look and the way they act and the way they talk are factors in how much people believe them and care about them and empathize with them. And it's. It's just crazy. It's. It's so crazy. Like, had I even just in that Cody KO situation, had I been so many other girls and said, like, this happened when I was 17, you know what I mean? Like, just. The conversation would have been entirely different and so much bigger of a conversation too, you know? And it's just like, I just. I'm never gonna stop advocating and I just want to say I'm proud of her and I think she did a lot for girls like us, and I love her and I hope Evan Johnson goes to prison.

[B]

I agree, and I'm glad you said that. Prison, or worse, on a literal.

[A]

On the flip side of the coin. Well, I don't know if I should actually go into this conversation completely after this because it's kind of. I'm kind of going on the flip side of the coin here. Like, just. I guess I have to tell you what I'm talking about, but have you been. Have you been seeing Katy Perry and Gayle King and their press campaign for their excursion to space?

[B]

No. I knew Katy Perry was going to space.

[A]

And I just. I have a serious question and am I fucked up for saying this? I don't know. Did we not learn from the whole Titanic, Scuba.

[B]

Oh, the submarine.

[A]

Like, what's wrong with just being on land? Calabasas, Katie, why are we going to space? Like, I understand astronauts going to space. Do you know that? Also, just you want to talk about 10 years back for women? She was saying, like, we put the ass in astronaut. And, like, like, it. The things she was saying were like, oh, man. Wrote it. I need to find it. Hold on.

[B]

I think when they talk about, like, going to space, I think it's like, like, right outside our atmosphere.

[A]

But why? Why?

[B]

I just saw that thing about, like, that girl getting. They got stuck in space. Like, they meant to go for like, eight days or something, and they accidentally went for, like, nine months.

[A]

And then Donald Trump was just, like, talking about her hair.

[B]

Checks out.

[A]

It's. Oh, my God. It's so insane. I just. I don't like going through tsa. I don't like turbulence on an airplane. Imagine the fucking sedation. I understand. It's brave and it's cool, but then why, like, just to come home? Like, I went to Voice. Yes. And I sang hot. You're hot, then you're cold. You're.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Then you're. No. Like, if I was Oprah, I'd be like, gail, stand down. You don't need to.

[B]

Like, Oprah's probably got people up there. You know what I mean? Like, Oprah's probably, like, got kale covered.

[A]

I guess that is. That is really true. Let's Katy Perry and Lauren Sanchez prepare to go on their all female trip to space.

[B]

Wait, Lauren Sanchez? She's my friend.

[A]

Astronaut, yes. Yeah, we're going to put the ass in astronaut.

[B]

Lauren Sanchez is not my.

[A]

She makes it so hard to be a kitty cat. She's seriously indefensible when she does like this. Like, Katie Perry and Lauren Sanchez are committed to wearing glam that's out of this world. Oh, my God, I'm vomiting. This is actually setting women back. This is awful for women. Listen, they are getting ready to blast off into space on April 14. It'll be the first time anyone has ever journeyed to space. Face in full glam. No. This is seriously so embarrassing. I identify as a man now. Like, I want no part of this. I'm humiliated to be of the same gender. Katie said, let me tell you something. If I could take glam up with me, I would do that. We are going to put the ass in astronaut. She's given us no choice. We have to leave her in space. Like, like, these women going to space and only focus on their looks.

[B]

Like, on their hair.

[A]

That's like, this is something a man would insulting. This is so. This is how men think of us. I'm humiliated. We're going to have lash extensions flying in the capsule.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

This is really, really bad.

[A]

Like, seriously, jail for everyone. Sorry, Gail. See, if I was invited on this and I saw, like, my fellow passengers were doing this types of press, like, I would actually give my seat up. I need somebody to really quickly get together an all female crew and just send them up so that this group of. I mean, I like, I get it. There's something camp about being full glam in space. But, like, what PR team approved this? And why are we leading with.

[B]

I kind of, like, I'm choosing to. I'm choosing to believe they're trolling us. Like, I think. Funny.

[A]

I think they're like.

[B]

Like, it's so. Like, it feels like they're, like, joking. Like, we would say, like. Like when we're like, oh, my God, I'm so skinny, I'm gonna fall through this, you know, sidewalk slit, you know.

[A]

Like, it's just so funny to me. Like, what, we're gonna put the ass in astronaut? Like, leave this shit to NASA.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's where she lost me. Because I know that Katie has more of a way with words than that.

[A]

And I just feel like it's like, okay, like, Katie, why don't you make. Why don't you call Benny Blanco up, okay? Make the record and shoot a really out of this world music video. Okay? Really get the green screen behind you. Get the cgi. Like, I think it would give the same thing. Like, if she truly just had like a really out of this world spacey little music video tour theme. Like, all. I just. Why is Katy Perry going to space?

[B]

Now that I think about it, Katy Per. You've really exhausted this space thing. Give it a rest.

[A]

It's. I. It's just. I just. Why can, like, Aaron, can you honestly, like, Google this? Like, why going to space?

[B]

I know why. The same reason people fucking run marathons or do triathlons or do shit that we don't want to do because they have different interests.

[A]

I do. We had this conversation when we were talking about hiking Mount Everest that I know there's the caliber of people who's like, I'm going to do the unthinkable for pride. But then when you see the, like, 8,000 dead bodies on Mount Everest, it's like, maybe check out if you can or if you're capable or not, maybe. And it just. That's what it feels like to me. Like, yes, you're doing it to say you did it, but it's submarine energy to me. It's like I. I just think Katy Perry. It's like, get another Vegas residency and bedazzle an astronaut helmet and leave this shit to the. The Buzz Aldrins of the world.

[B]

I picture Katy Perry.

[A]

Buzz Aldrin. Right? Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, Close call there.

[B]

Who's Buzz?

[A]

Moon guy.

[B]

Oh, I was thinking Buzz Lightyear.

[A]

See? And then here I am talking shit about her saying putting me putting the ass in astronaut, and I'm going moon guy. I should have just talked about minions. Talk about stealing the moon.

[B]

I can tell you really want to talk about whatever minion thing you keep bringing up, so let me just let you out.

[A]

No, it's more so just that I was like, I'm not going to bring my minion jargon to the canceled podcast task. And then everything I'm saying has equally little to no substance.

[B]

The minions are speaking Spanish.

[A]

Apparently it's not like, too space.

[B]

It's to the edges. Do you ever notice that they're speaking remnants of Spanish?

[A]

They are, yeah. I kind of like that.

[B]

If you really pay attention. It's closest. It's like almost like Portuguese where it's like. It's close enough to Spanish where it's Spanish.

[A]

Can you guys hear me? I can hear you now, Aaron. Apparently, it's not two space. It's to the edge of space. So it's like, oh, it's to the edge of space. It's just like up and then coming back down.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

It's just like face. Tune yourself with hella stars behind you. I just like, I'm not kidding. Like, I'm thinking about how much fuel it takes to get them up there.

[B]

Let's talk about fuel. Your postmates drivers used.

[A]

What?

[B]

Now you care about your carbon footprint? I'm calling Greta. Get up. We're wasting time and resources.

[A]

Oh, my God, you're so right. You're literally like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Katie, You NASA it up. Put the ass in NASA, babe.

[B]

I want to go to space.

[A]

Oh, is that why you're.

[B]

I want to put the tits in. I don't know. There's no tits in anything as I.

[A]

Want to put the tits in orbit. Yeah, that's as close as I could get.

[B]

Gail. She hasn't aged a day.

[A]

There's something about Gail King going to space that like. No, but now. You know what? Okay. I'm sitting here and I'm like, there's. What's going on? She's gonna be wearing that while she's eating freeze dried ice cream sandwiches with a fucking wing. And it's like, we need people to go study.

[B]

Simone, can I say something really quick? Katy Perry is responsible for whatever happened to my eyelids.

[A]

What? What?

[B]

Her having that wing had a direct influence on whether or not I wanted to keep my eyelids. Let's talk about. We're not ready to talk about that. You know, she set women back hundreds of years.

[A]

The more I'm thinking about all of this, it's like I'm imagining there was a brand trip to the White House, right? And it was like Alex Cooper and like all these people who arguably deserve to go to the White House. And then like, if I got invited, I would go, right? And I'd be like, look, I'm at the White House. So it's kind of like, like Katy Perry. I like, you know, she, she might be a little. It might be a bit of a reach to bring her to space, you know, whereas like Gayle King makes a little more sense to me. But then it's like, you know what, Katie, go off. That's what you get for waking up in orbit.

[B]

I, you know, I'm choosing to believe she's gonna have an amazing time and.

[A]

Shut up and put your helmet where your mouth is.

[B]

Maybe we'll get a good hit out of it in 2021. They did it too, with an NFL hall of Famer, Michael Strahan. Oh, I think there's been cats in space.

[A]

No way.

[B]

Yeah. I wonder if they had.

[A]

Chris, if you got an offer to go to space, do you know that I did get an offer to go to space actually, like a couple years ago. But it was also Natalie bowling with.

[B]

Like after party, I think.

[A]

Yeah, they were. The NFT people were trying to take us to space. And I remember there was a point where I really had to weigh it out and I decided I just wouldn't. I'm too scared. Would you go if you. If tart was like tripping with tart in the.

[B]

I can't even go to Bora Bora. Talk about space.

[A]

Trip of a tart in the Milky Way. It's just like, that's so funny. I would love to see some. There are.

[B]

I would have gone on that submarine for sure.

[A]

I would love to see like Ken Yurich in space, though. The more I'm thinking about it.

[B]

Or like, she'd be so funny.

[A]

She'd be hilarious in space. So, I mean. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God, I love her and stories. She's just like Bibi, except more violent.

[A]

Yeah, someone from my life is making a bit of a resurgence, but I think I will tell you about it on the Patreon because this one needs a paywall.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But this was a great episode. Bless NASA, UberEats, Gibney, Scuba Excursion.

[B]

Women don't deserve rights. Rights.

[A]

Thank you for listening to another episode of the canceled podcast, Goodbye.