119: BROOKE GOT OFFERED 2 MILLION DOLLARS FOR THIS…. - Ep. 119

Summary

Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - Episode 119 Summary

Release Date: May 6, 2025
Hosts: Tana Mongeau, Brooke Schofield
Guest: Amari

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1. Introduction and Opening Banter

The episode kicks off with the usual playful interactions between Brooke, Tana, and their friend Amari. Brooke humorously mentions not having her two black eyes anymore, setting a lighthearted tone for the episode.

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2. What We Got Wrong in the Last Episode

[00:54 - 03:00]

The hosts introduce a new segment titled "What We Got Wrong in the Last Episode," where they address inaccuracies or misunderstandings from previous episodes. Brooke candidly admits mistakes such as inaccurately portraying Natalia Grace, clarifying her age and medical condition. Tana emphasizes the importance of confidence when presenting information, even if it occasionally leads to errors.

Notable Quote:

• Brooke (01:00): "We need to introduce a segment on this show called What We Got Wrong in the Last Episode."

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3. Brooke's Audition for "Ridiculousness"

[03:00 - 04:44]

Brooke shares her experience auditioning for a role on the show "Ridiculousness," where she was offered a staggering $2.5 million for 22 days of shooting. Despite her nerves and eventual loss of the role, she reflects on the audition process and her interactions with the show's host, highlighting the high stakes and pressure involved.

Notable Quote:

• Brooke (03:42): "I was so nervous that, like, I don't even have any idea what I was saying."

---

4. Discussions on Lymphatic Massages

[13:09 - 14:23]

Tana discusses her recent lymphatic body sculpting sessions, explaining the procedure and her initial discomfort with massages. She recalls an incident in New York City where a massage made her uncomfortable, leading her to limit herself to foot massages.

Notable Quote:

• Tana (13:54): "She started using this, like, suction thingy on the inside of my thighs, and I was just like, oh my God. What the…"

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5. Dating and Relationship Stories

[14:23 - 58:35]

The majority of the episode delves into personal relationship experiences and advice:

• Brooke's Relationship: Brooke discusses her current boyfriend, emphasizing the ease and lack of conflict in their relationship. She appreciates his gentle nature and his role as a supportive partner.

  Notable Quote:

  • Brooke (25:20): "This is my first time trying it. But, like, this is my first time living it."

• Tana's Desire for a Boyfriend: Tana expresses her longing for a romantic partner, highlighting the challenges of dating in Los Angeles. She shares her experiences of being single and the importance of maintaining personal structure without overscheduling herself.

  Notable Quote:

  • Tana (22:35): "I feel like am I too available? Because I'm always like, whenever."

• Amari's Reflections: Amari reflects on her own relationships, emphasizing respect and devotion. She discusses the impact of past relationships on her behavior and the importance of maintaining personal integrity.

  Notable Quote:

  • Amari (58:35): "I just became so wifey and so devoted to this person."

• Personal Anecdotes: The trio shares various personal stories, including first sexual experiences, challenges in maintaining privacy, and navigating complex relationship dynamics.

  Notable Quote:

  • Tana (38:15): "I have jacked off for boys, but..."

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6. Pop-Up Events and International Tours

[21:37 - 43:21]

The conversation shifts to their experiences with pop-up events and upcoming international tours:

• Live Shows: Tana, Brooke, and Amari discuss their live performances, sharing anecdotes from shows in Australia, Paris, and Las Vegas. They highlight the logistical challenges and the excitement of performing on grand stages like the O2 Arena.

  Notable Quote:

  • Amari (40:20): "I am so excited to see the canceled podcast live in Australia."

• Interactions with Celebrities: Brooke recounts an encounter with Sydney Sweeney at a pop-up event, while Tana talks about meeting other celebrities and managing public interactions.

  Notable Quote:

  • Brooke (62:31): "I ran into Sydney Sweeney at her pop up."

---

7. Funko Pop Museum Discussion

[33:00 - 35:20]

The hosts explore the Funko Pop Museum on Hollywood Boulevard, discussing the vast array of Funko Pop figures available. They engage in humorous debates about which characters they have interacted with and the absence of a Funko Pop version of themselves.

Notable Quote:

• Brooke (34:57): "I'm sad that we don't have Funko Pops."

---

8. Technology and Photography Insights

[65:00 - 71:08]

The trio delves into discussions about camera technology, particularly the complexities of smartphone cameras versus traditional DSLRs. They share frustrations with camera functionalities and marvel at the simplicity yet effectiveness of rudimentary camera setups like pinhole cameras.

Notable Quote:

• Brooke (70:02): "I really struggle with what the is a camera and how does it work and how do we take photos and more importantly, how do we take videos."

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9. Sponsorships and Advertisements

[Skipped as per instructions]

The episode includes promotional segments for Seat Geek and DraftKings, offering discounts and detailing their services. These sections have been omitted from this summary to focus on the core content.

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10. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

[71:08 - End]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts express gratitude to their listeners and share final thoughts about upcoming shows and tours. They tease future content and interactions, maintaining their signature casual and candid style.

Notable Quote:

• Amari (72:57): "By the time you see this, we will be on our international tour."

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Authenticity in Content: The hosts emphasize the importance of being genuine and confident, even when mistakes occur. Brooke's admission of inaccuracies and her transparent approach underscores their commitment to authenticity.

• Navigating Relationships: The episode provides a deep dive into personal relationships, showcasing the balance between maintaining individuality and fostering supportive partnerships.

• Challenges of Public Life: From auditions for high-stakes TV roles to managing public interactions at pop-up events, the hosts shed light on the complexities of living under constant public scrutiny.

• Embracing Technology: Despite frustrations with modern camera technology, the hosts display a fascination with the mechanics behind photography, highlighting a blend of technological appreciation and humorous struggles.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Brooke (01:00): "We need to introduce a segment on this show called What We Got Wrong in the Last Episode."

• Brooke (03:42): "I was so nervous that, like, I don't even have any idea what I was saying."

• Tana (13:54): "She started using this, like, suction thingy on the inside of my thighs, and I was just like, oh my God. What the…"

• Brooke (25:20): "This is my first time trying it. But, like, this is my first time living it."

• Tana (22:35): "I feel like am I too available? Because I'm always like, whenever."

• Amari (58:35): "I just became so wifey and so devoted to this person."

• Brooke (34:57): "I'm sad that we don't have Funko Pops."

• Brooke (70:02): "I really struggle with what the is a camera and how does it work and how do we take photos and more importantly, how do we take videos."

• Amari (72:57): "By the time you see this, we will be on our international tour."

---

This episode of Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the hosts' personal lives, professional endeavors, and candid discussions about relationships and technology. Through humor and honesty, Tana, Brooke, and Amari create a relatable and engaging narrative that resonates with their audience.

Transcript

[Brooke]

Hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast. We have our favorite friend in the building.

[Tana]

Ew.

[Amari]

What? You hate that?

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Yeah. Mari really hates that.

[Tana]

Do they hate it, too?

[Amari]

I think they do hate it. Yeah.

[Tana]

Do you hate it?

[Brooke]

Everything.

[Amari]

Today's episode is a timeless episode of the canceled podcast. We're shooting this on Wednesday, April 9th at 8. 22pm but who knows? This could come out in August.

[Brooke]

But just know that I don't still have two black eyes.

[Amari]

Would you just call her Bluffy the Vampire Slayer?

[Tana]

Yeah, Bluffy the Vampire Slayer.

[Brooke]

And Natalia, she's my friend, we work out.

[Amari]

Who, Natalia Grace.

[Tana]

She's like, yeah, I bench her.

[Brooke]

You know what?

[Amari]

Have you seen Good American Family?

[Brooke]

But I know what you're talking about. But you know what? We need to introduce a segment on this show called what We Got Wrong in the Last Episode.

[Amari]

I think we've been trying to do that for a long time.

[Tana]

It's funny. Sometimes I will see online people like, can they please just do their goddamn research?

[Brooke]

Let me answer that for you. No, but seriously, like, sometimes I'm like. Like, I do get fried. Or fried up, fired up. Because I'm like, why are you coming to us for educational information? But also, like, sometimes we be saying stuff that's like, how the fuck?

[Tana]

And you say with your chest.

[Brooke]

Yeah, like, so confident. But that's what I learned. That's what. That's what I was taught is like, say things with confidence.

[Tana]

Yeah, confidence is key.

[Brooke]

But I'm just lying to people.

[Amari]

I was just saying some wrong, ash. It's like Buzz Lightyear was on the move.

[Brooke]

I love when we get a laugh from the audience.

[Amari]

I know when you get a laugh from in there, it's as good as a good bump, I'm gonna tell you that much.

[Brooke]

I made a good joke earlier, and I'm not even kidding. I've been on a high ever since.

[Tana]

Joke.

[Brooke]

Yeah. You had to be there.

[Amari]

What did we get wrong? What did we get wrong about?

[Brooke]

Oh, we got wrong. Natalia Gerst was not a little woman. She was actually only 8 years old.

[Amari]

Dude, all this. I know.

[Tana]

She's a real woman fudgeing show.

[Amari]

Me either. But I have been seeing it all over TikTok that she actually was eight. But it's like, who's lying? You?

[Tana]

She's like, what? Really?

[Brooke]

Well, I got in trouble because, like, she. I sent her that TikTok about her having, like, Ehlers Danlos syndrome or whatever. Like the.

[Amari]

Or whatever. You're already being dismissive to the community. Sorry.

[Brooke]

But, like, it's this syndrome.

[Amari]

And.

[Brooke]

And, like, this girl had made this video about it, and I sent it to Tana and Tana freaked out on me. She texted me, like, death threats, diagnosing.

[Amari]

Me with the syndrome with the average life expectancy of 48.

[Brooke]

But God forbid I just try to, like, raise awareness or something.

[Tana]

Raise awareness.

[Brooke]

That's why I sent it to Tana. And then she's mad at me about it. So on the podcast, I'm like, no, no, no. Trust me. Like, it's probably not even real. I've never even heard of it. Like, just jokingly, like, backtracking. And now it's like, Brooke doesn't believe in us.

[Amari]

Oh, wow.

[Tana]

Wow.

[Brooke]

And I've. I've accidentally discredited him.

[Tana]

Wow.

[Amari]

I gotta get with those people. We should do a walk.

[Brooke]

No, but apparently it is. It's actually very common. I didn't realize, like, in our comment section, like, everybody's like, oh, I have that.

[Amari]

And it has more to do, I think, with your veins than a collagen. I'm not. Let me not. Let me just not. Okay, Let me not.

[Brooke]

But just know that I.

[Tana]

No confidence this time.

[Brooke]

I believe in you and I know you're real.

[Tana]

You are like, it's Jack Frost.

[Brooke]

I was just trying to make my friend feel better.

[Amari]

No, and it is. And we've had that running bit of, like, if you haven't heard about some shit, it is not real to you.

[Brooke]

And like, I know, but you know when things get clicked clipped on TikTok and they're like. And she went to nursing school, I'm like, first of all, I never said that. I mean, I've 100 said that. I was pre nursing. I never got professionally admitted to the nursing program, and I never would have.

[Tana]

I love how you're, like, clarifying this, like, years later.

[Brooke]

Yeah, well, everyone knew. Everyone knew.

[Amari]

Do you think. Do you think the people in nursing school, like, were they like, oh, she's not going to make it?

[Brooke]

Yes. Oh, yeah.

[Amari]

Like, you were just kind of.

[Brooke]

First of all, because I'm like, an actual idiot. Second of all, because I cheated my way all through school and because I had to take chem 101 twice. Chem 101 twice with Dr. Van Dorn. Love her. And I got a. I got a C the first time.

[Amari]

No, imagine she was like, with Meredith.

[Brooke]

Gray that she's honestly very similar. Go to C. Okay. And like, you can't get a C and get professionally admitted. So I had to retake the course. Okay. Sat front row every Single day, I was teacher's pet. Me and Dr. Van Dorn, we were like literally best friends. Got a C again. I should have just given it up right then and there.

[Amari]

That's always how like school felt for me. I was like, listen, I'm. I just can't do better than this. And you know, my dad would always tell me fence posts can get a C. And I'm like, can you even read?

[Tana]

No.

[Amari]

At all. Literally at all. I have to pee so bad that it's clouding my up. I know.

[Brooke]

Go pee. We can cook while you're gone.

[Amari]

But I'm just. I'm having a good time. I don't want to miss out.

[Tana]

Might as well piss yourself on set since you yourself last time.

[Amari]

Yeah, it's. It's so funny. Amari was just saying off camera that when I was saying. Huh?

[Tana]

Weren't the chairs white? No, I thought.

[Amari]

I'm just kidding.

[Tana]

Oh, she was freaking out cuz the chairs were white. Did you guys switch them out because you didn't want any more incidents?

[Amari]

Any poopy mishaps? No, we don't have three white chairs. So we brought out the green chairs. Just.

[Tana]

Oh, okay.

[Amari]

Amari was saying in the. One of the last episodes, I was saying that the bathroom smells like carcass. And he was under the impression that I was saying that I made it smell like carcass.

[Brooke]

Yes, she was saying that.

[Tana]

That's what I interpreted it as.

[Brooke]

Me too.

[Tana]

It was also clipped though. Like, I didn't watch.

[Amari]

See, look at these clips. Just painting us and painting us like.

[Tana]

We'Re on things and making it.

[Amari]

I still can't believe that it was. Have you ever shit yourself?

[Tana]

No. I know you have.

[Brooke]

Why do you say it was such judgment?

[Tana]

I don't say it with.

[Brooke]

What do you mean? I know you have.

[Tana]

Well, you shit yourself on the way to like shoot one of your guys tour thingies.

[Brooke]

God forbid I still show up to work.

[Tana]

I was not like downplaying your hard working. Your drive. Your drive. Okay. You know, I am so proud of you. But I was just saying I haven't. I've never shit myself.

[Amari]

No, you're next. That's.

[Tana]

No, I'm not.

[Amari]

That's how it works. She told me. I was literally. I was always like, no, I'm better than all of you. Like, sphincter is fudgeing on.

[Tana]

Well, you let your farts out though. Like, I won't do that.

[Amari]

Okay.

[Tana]

Yes.

[Amari]

She's like, people who go to the bathroom every single time, they have to fart are fucking out to lunch.

[Tana]

No, but you can just hold it in.

[Brooke]

Well, this was like not a situation where you could just hold it in.

[Amari]

No. Oh yeah. I will just say this specific. Like it was coming whether I wanted it to or not. Like there was no question. Like it was like I could clench with all of my might and it did not matter.

[Tana]

But why didn't you get up and leave then if you knew that like that was what was happening?

[Amari]

Because I thought it was just a really driven fart.

[Tana]

It drove.

[Brooke]

She has no. No. Risk assessment team.

[Tana]

It drove skid marks, babe.

[Amari]

Bad. No, not even skid marks.

[Brooke]

It was just one little like dollop on the back of her pants.

[Tana]

Audio listeners, if you could see my face.

[Amari]

And it's just the way I had to like hose myself down at home like a dog. It's liar.

[Tana]

Yeah. We didn't even hug when she walked in.

[Amari]

No, literally, we didn't even hug. I was like, I gotta go.

[Tana]

It was actually really funny though, because I think you got your makeup done that day. Yeah. Yeah. And it was so funny because like she came down to my room after and like I knew she was getting in the shower. I heard the shower and everything comes out of my room, like full glam still. And I was like, did you?

[Brooke]

I sat on yourself and you still went out of your way to.

[Amari]

Yeah. That wing was an Alexis Oakley wing. A $300 wing. I'm wearing that the next day to je. What it my face.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

And yeah, I'm not. I don't need a micellar. Water my eyes. Cuz I myself, I just took the little nozzle to the hole. I do have to pee.

[Tana]

Go piss girl. Piss on the flow. Piss on the flow.

[Brooke]

I guess piss on.

[Tana]

I guess I just piss on the flow.

[Brooke]

What's that from?

[Tana]

I think it's like a.

[Amari]

Have fun without me.

[Brooke]

Nope.

[Tana]

God forbid. She's like, do you have my walker? Are your eyes still itchy?

[Brooke]

They're itchy. They feel like.

[Tana]

Are the stitches still in? Doesn't look like it.

[Brooke]

Only my big ones. Like these blue.

[Tana]

The ones that are coming in.

[Brooke]

And I pimple patched them to my face.

[Tana]

That's so funny.

[Brooke]

Cause I had this big old sticker and I was like, let me just pimple patch this.

[Tana]

Honestly, smart. Cause the pimple patch is like invisible.

[Brooke]

This girl. This girl at the. At the gifting suite earlier was like talking to Tana and she was like.

[Tana]

I love that you still went.

[Brooke]

I know. Well, I have my sunglasses on. She's talking to Tana. Excited to meet Tana. And like, we're talking for a long time and I'm like, jumping in the conversation here and there. But, like, won't even. Like, she's a Tina fan, so she's like, talking, talking. Will not look at me. And finally she goes, take your glasses off. No, no. And I pulled up my glasses. She's like, ow.

[Tana]

I'm like, was it Alyssa Violet Won't even acknowledge you.

[Brooke]

Bless her heart.

[Tana]

Bless her heart.

[Brooke]

What should we talk about while she's gone? Tell me a secret.

[Tana]

Don't have any secrets. But since we were talking about Good American Family, doesn't she exhibit Natalia behavior?

[Brooke]

I don't know. I haven't seen the show.

[Tana]

Okay, so basically, she just is always throwing temper tantrums to get her way and stuff. And honestly, that's really it too, because the night that she shit herself was the night that the episode came out. Comes out at midnight on Tuesday, so it's technically Wednesday or whatever. But she was like, I'm so fucking sick. Blah, blah, blah, whatever. And we watch it weekly. And I was like, okay, well, like, you're so sick that you're shitting yourself. Maybe we could watch. We're actually talking about you.

[Brooke]

We're talking about how you are Natalia Grace.

[Amari]

Oh, fuck.

[Tana]

She's like, I'm so fucking sick. Blah, blah. And I was like, well, if you're so sick, obviously, like, I want to watch a show with you, but like, maybe like, what if we just watch it on FaceTime tonight? Like @ the same time.

[Amari]

You know, we're a long distance couple.

[Tana]

Well, you were so sick that you were shitting yourself. That's the last thing I want for myself. And of course, Gaslight Gatekeep, girl. Boss, I found my way up there because I wasn't winning. That's another Natalia Grace behavior is like, she will get her way. Yeah, she can go and go and go until she gets her way and she knows the people she can get her way with. I am one of those people I like. I'd say, like, I used to be like a hundred percent people pleaser. And I think I've definitely, like, leveled down to like 60% people pleaser.

[Amari]

No, no, no, no. Wait, wait.

[Tana]

Well, because think about how many times I say yes, yes, yes, yes, master. But, like, think of how many times I say yes. So it's like I gotta say no at some point.

[Amari]

No, I agree. And I like, I remember the moments that you started really standing on no. And I respect that because I used to really just and she thinks that.

[Tana]

I say no all the time. But in reality I say yes a lot. But there's a lot of no's too, because she asks me a lot of things.

[Amari]

Yes, I'm just obsessed with you. That's the thing. It is like her and I always.

[Tana]

I always know that it's out of love. So I take like, no like, and not offense. I hope you don't take offense to me saying no.

[Amari]

No, Yeah, I do.

[Tana]

See, here she goes. Here she goes. She knows what she's doing.

[Amari]

Just in my dream world, I would like shrink you down and put you in my pocket and you'd be everywhere with me.

[Tana]

Hit up Elon. Yeah, I'm sure he's got something going.

[Amari]

So you think I give Natalia grace? You think I give the woman with dwarfism and. Or the 8 year old?

[Brooke]

I don't think she's dwarfism.

[Amari]

Well, because you know how the story ends, right? Like the girl's claiming like, I was a child, but then the family's claiming up and down that she wasn't. And there's no real answer. No one knows.

[Brooke]

The real answer is that she's eight.

[Tana]

Is she alive?

[Amari]

Uh huh.

[Tana]

Where's she at?

[Amari]

I want to watch the BFFs podcast.

[Brooke]

You're lying.

[Amari]

I'm just kidding.

[Tana]

No, but in reality it was just her on BFFs. She has a rare form of dwarfism.

[Brooke]

Oh, she does have dwarfism. I'm sorry.

[Amari]

No, but I. But it's up in the air. Truly, like, there is no final verdict. Like she's still. She's dying on the hill, saying like, I'm eight, bitch.

[Brooke]

You know what? I'm eight.

[Tana]

I ate.

[Amari]

I am so excited to see the canceled podcast live in Australia. Which is why I wanted to give the sponsor of today's video, Seat Geek, a huge shout out. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek including concerts, sports, festivals and more. So many artists going on tour and you can get tickets to Kendrick Lamar and sza, the Weeknd, Beyonce, Morgan Wallen, and more. I love using SeatGeek because I love attending live events like the canceled podcast Live in Sydney, Australia. SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10. So you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And you know I came through for you guys. You can use code cancel 2025 for 10 off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10 off any tickets with promo code cancelled 2025. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek, for sponsoring today's episode of the canceled podcast.

[Brooke]

I used to be eight pounds.

[Tana]

Yeah, I am eight pounds after my lymphatic today.

[Brooke]

Lymphatic drainage.

[Amari]

How does that. So lymphatic drainage massages are like. The celebs get them, like, before red carpets and stuff.

[Tana]

Well, I got lymphatic body sculpting, so.

[Amari]

What's that?

[Tana]

Honestly, I don't know. They use this machine on me, and I'm not gonna lie. Like. So I have this issue with massages. Well, not as of lately, but the very first time I ever got a massage, I was in New York City, and I, like, started getting hard during it, and I was like, I fucking hate massages. I would only let people. I would only get foot massages for the.

[Brooke]

What was she massaging that you got hard?

[Tana]

I don't remember. I think it's like an inner thigh. I think it was like, my inner thighs. Today we had to revisit that kind of situation. Well, I didn't get hard, but, like, I almost started to get hard because Kardashians and shit. No, this is someone else. She's in Japan.

[Brooke]

You're like, grandma, Grandma, Grandma.

[Tana]

No, literally, I was just like. But she started using this, like, suction thingy on the inside of my thighs, and I was just like. As Amish would go, oh. Or whatever the he does, like. But I was just like, oh, my God. What the.

[Amari]

That is kind of crazy.

[Tana]

And I've just, like, been kind of in heat lately.

[Brooke]

But you're horned up.

[Tana]

I actually hooked up with someone this past weekend. I've got my riz back.

[Brooke]

You 69?

[Amari]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Tana]

We don't need to put everything out there like that. We sucked each other's at the same time we had. We went skiing.

[Brooke]

Let me ask you a question about 69ing. I feel like I've obviously been in the position before, but I. I still have questions. Me and Mike, obviously, I've done it before. Isn't it like, you know when you're scratching someone's back and, like, they're scratching someone else is scratching your back? It's like, I can't enjoy this because I'm doing this.

[Amari]

I agree with that actually fully, like, they not as enjoyable because you're.

[Tana]

I think it's really hot, honestly. But also, like, I'm not the type. Like, I don't like, 69ing like. Like, I feel like when a guy and a girl 69, it's different because it's like you can, like, eat a pussy and, like, suck a dick at the same time. Obviously, like, what you said, like, not as enjoyable or whatever because you're, like, so focused on other things, but, like, just like, the placement of your genitals.

[Amari]

Differently with guys is better. It's like Legos almost. Like, you. They just fit.

[Tana]

But, like, what are you like? Well, height comes into play, as we know. I'm five fucking six. Yeah.

[Amari]

Oh, so you're like, sucking kneecap, but.

[Tana]

Like, also it's just like, what are you gonna do? Just like, lay like, two fucking wood planks on top of each other?

[Brooke]

What do you have to do? Like.

[Tana]

Yeah, like. No, I like when you're, like, laying side by side and like.

[Amari]

Oh, that makes sense. I didn't think that.

[Tana]

It's almost like that emoji that's like also the zodiac sign.

[Amari]

Yeah, the zodiac cancer, I think.

[Brooke]

Okay. Well, you enjoyed yourself.

[Tana]

Yeah, I was tall. Yeah. I just don't know if he's gonna, like, watch this or if there's any way that he would. Well, actually, we don't even follow each other on social media. I can't even show you a picture of what he looks like because we don't follow each other on Instagram. Like, well, he's private.

[Brooke]

You.

[Amari]

I love his googling.

[Tana]

Yes. And then I've been going on dates.

[Amari]

Yeah, you've been.

[Tana]

This is fun to talk about with you guys because you guys are, like, taken. Dating in the gay world is so hard, especially in Los Angeles, because. Well, one, I feel like hooking up with people in Los Angeles, I don't really like doing just. Cause I feel like everyone hooks up.

[Amari]

With everyone and very, very cesspool. Like, every gay I know hooks up with, like, the same.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

And then I don't know, like, 20 people.

[Brooke]

It's like a smaller pool, so it feels like.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

In college, like, everyone kind of feels like they hook up with each other.

[Tana]

Yeah. They all thwomp around WeHo, so it's like everyone knows who's hooking up with. And then, like, there's just, like, drama and stuff. I don't partake in that. I'll go to WeHo here and there. But, like, it's not my favorite place to Go. It's like, one of those things. It's like, it's always a promised good time in the sense that, like, if.

[Amari]

You'Re gonna buy alcohol, like, you're gonna get roofied.

[Tana]

You're. Well, you. You can't get roofied, but. Yes, but it's like, if you're gonna spend $20 on a drink, then you're probably gonna get your $20 worth, because they're probably putting, like, three shots in your drink, you know, and sometimes some GHP. And. Yeah, there's just, like, lots of drama and stuff. Everyone knows each other and, like, everyone's business and stuff. So just, like, gross. And also, I feel like there's a lot of, like, clout driven down there that, like, you really never know what anyone's intentions are and stuff. So it's like, I don't know, nice to go down there because it's all good.

[Amari]

You think they're trying to set up for a canceled podcast ticket?

[Tana]

Probably. They probably just want to come over and look at, like, your fucking shoes. I'm like, you know what? If you're hot enough, you can you.

[Brooke]

Meet a really nice guy who, like, he doesn't know.

[Tana]

Yes, exactly. So, I mean, I've been hinging, and that's a fun time, you know?

[Amari]

You recently found a guy in finance on him.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God, what is that noise?

[Amari]

And if no one hears it, I'm gonna crash the phone.

[Brooke]

We hear it. We hear it.

[Amari]

Thank you for being honest with me, because you. You have the. No, but you had the tools to be like, no one else hears it.

[Tana]

Well, this place is haunted as fuck.

[Amari]

I just saw a random girl in the bathroom, and I was like, do you work here? Do you think it's haunted? And she was like, no.

[Tana]

She's like, I'm not even here, bitch. Stop talking to yourself. How. Yeah, so I. My ideal. I mean, I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship because I am a firm believer that, like, if you're looking for a relationship, like, you're not going to find the best one, you know? Like, I am looking for someone to have a great time with and see where that leads, you know, I'm not, like, sitting there trying to make anyone my boyfriend unless they want me bad.

[Amari]

You say you're looking for a boyfriend?

[Tana]

Well, I would love one.

[Brooke]

Manifestation is real. You need to put it out in the universe. You are looking for a husband.

[Amari]

It's like Kim Kardashian, I want someone.

[Brooke]

To have sleepovers with.

[Amari]

Did you guys see how Kim Kardashian literally was building a man's closet in her house for a man that doesn't exist yet. I was like, that's kind.

[Brooke]

That's what we need to be doing out in the world. You need to be saying, like, oh.

[Tana]

Maybe that's why you've been collecting men's clothing for all these years. When people try and clown your closet, you're like, I was manifesting, bitch. Where's your man?

[Amari]

Right? That's so true. That's so true. Oh, my God. I used to live for that. Like, robbing the guys I would hook up with back in the day and then coming to you and being like.

[Tana]

Look at these stamp socks. No, seriously, I'd be like, oh, hell yeah. We hit the gold mine.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana]

Can't wait to wear.

[Amari]

So bad. Wait, I gotta hit a really crazy neck crack. It's. It's. This might ruin the tour. My scoliosis.

[Brooke]

Should we bring a chiropractor?

[Amari]

I've been referencing that a lot. When Justin Timberlake got pulled over with his dui, and that's what he said. This is going to ruin the tour. He said that to the police officer on the body cam.

[Brooke]

Ruin the world tour.

[Tana]

Like, what?

[Amari]

That's you. You got a dui, babe.

[Tana]

Like, yeah, this is going to ruin the world tour.

[Amari]

Like, what do you mean?

[Brooke]

Wait, that should be our bit. Yeah, that's going to be my dibs on the Instagram caption.

[Tana]

You know what's funny is. Wait, what'd you say?

[Brooke]

Sorry, I'm just trying to start beef.

[Tana]

You could technically call this a world tour.

[Amari]

It is.

[Brooke]

What do you mean, technically?

[Tana]

It's international. Like, you've been calling it the international tour, but it's like, no, this is a world tour, babe.

[Amari]

And then when you come and we take a photo, you can be like, was that a world tour? Your girl or my girls tour?

[Tana]

Writing it down now.

[Amari]

Yeah, now.

[Tana]

And in any. If any of you fucking viewers try and steal that Instagram caption, it's on site, threatening I'll be looking.

[Amari]

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[Brooke]

36 Mafia.

[Amari]

I just had this random. We've been doing this for so long that we're like, we don't stack episodes normally because we really, like, lose gas. And I was like, amari will be perfect to, like, help us.

[Brooke]

Talking about.

[Tana]

The timing was perfect, too, because I was at dinner and I was supposed to go to Ashley's hair appointment, but, like, I was starving. I've been on go all day. Like, I was so exhausted. I got my lymphatic body sculpting. I've been, like, packing. I was packing. Had to leave, go get my lymphatic and then came home packed more. I'm still not done packing. And then, like, just starving. Supposed to go to Ashley with her to her hair appointment. So we ate first. And then, like, get the text from Annalee, like, can you be here, like, soon? So I'm like, oh, my God, my food's coming. Scarf my food down as fast as possible. Didn't have time to hang gossip over here.

[Amari]

Oh, sorry, Ashley, we stole you. What? It's like, I want to talk about current drama, but that's stupid.

[Tana]

Oh, I also canceled my plans with the boy to be here. Canceled to be uncanceled.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God. It'll be. It'll be good down the line because then he's gonna think you're on it. You have so much, so many options.

[Tana]

But I don't want. Okay, part of my problem, too. Like, let me know what you guys think of this. I'm a very, like, honest person. Like, I feel like we have, like, fairly flexible schedules. Like, as long, like, I mean, obviously, like, you're so booked and busy and stuff, but, like, because you scheduled it that way, you know, at the end of the day, like, I mean, I'm not as booked and busy as you guys are, but I think I have a flexible schedule. And I feel like, am I too available? Because I'm always like, some people, like, they, like, I want someone that like works like a normal job with like structure and stuff like that. Because that's what I'm like trying to implement into my life is a lot more structure and stuff just like on my own. I do feel like sometimes I'm like, oh. Like they're like, oh, like when works for you. And I'm like, whenever.

[Brooke]

No, I don't think you're like, I don't think there's such a thing as being too available. I don't believe in like, oh my God. You should seem like you're.

[Tana]

You know, I don't like that. And Isabella was telling me, she's like, you don't want to seem too available. And I was like, well, bitch, I am.

[Brooke]

Well, yeah, no, I don't. I don't think I subscribe to that idea. Obviously, like, you want to just make it clear that you're doing things.

[Tana]

Yeah, I have a life. It's not like I'm just.

[Amari]

I have a life.

[Tana]

I'm not just sitting there rotting all day doing nothing. But I'm like, yeah, I can shut my laptop or like I can like.

[Amari]

Yeah, I don't know. You have a flexible lifestyle. Therefore, like, if I could be wants to do a date, you could 8:00pm any day.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

You know, make it happen nine to five. This.

[Brooke]

Like, if I were in like a position with like a 9 to 5 job, I would like ideally want somebody who does have the freedom or I guess somebody in the same position. So you have like the same kind of.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Hours. I think we both lucked out a little bit in like the. We both got like both of our boyfriends just like can do whatever the fuck. Do whatever.

[Amari]

No, I think that if you have to fake being less available to like make someone think that you're coveted to like like you. That you don't even want that person anyways.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

And anytime I would find myself like doing that, like, oh, I have a meeting. And then it's like, how was the meeting?

[Tana]

Insane.

[Amari]

Yeah. Like I just had no things coming.

[Tana]

You.

[Amari]

You almost then end up having to like carry on that lie. And then when you start dating and they see that like. You know what I mean?

[Brooke]

Just like, oh, you never want to try to seem. Anyway. That's what I learned. Like I always wanted to seem like this and seem like a road horses or something. That's just where you should draw.

[Amari]

Then you ought to upkeep it. What's. What was like one that you look back on and you're like, wow, like I was really doing this. I'm trying to, like, remember.

[Brooke]

I mean, there's been so many. But, like, when, like, first of all, I hate sports. One time I, like, literally taught myself, like, front to back, like, the entire. Just everything there is to know about the Pittsburgh Steelers.

[Amari]

She's showing up to brunch with, like, Black and Hill.

[Brooke]

I did. I literally spent my Christmas money on Victoria's Secret Pittsburgh Steelers merch in college, and I pretended I just, like, like, came up on it. No. I was in, like, middle school.

[Tana]

Okay.

[Amari]

No, but that's so fucking funny too, because you'd probably low key be sad about that. Like, there were probably some yoga pants you, like, did really want and, like, you had to buy the Steelers collection.

[Brooke]

No, I wore it like a fucking vouch for. I was literally like, I am. But the problem is, like, I. It's not like, oh, I'm trying to seem this way. It was like, oh, I'm in love with him. So I am in love with the Steelers. Like, I became the Steelers.

[Amari]

Like, I.

[Brooke]

It overcomes me.

[Amari]

And so, I mean, you do become who you're dating.

[Tana]

You're, like, playing flag football.

[Brooke]

No. Yes. Well, that. This is the first time I've ever been in a relationship where I, like, actually, like, someone just met me where I am, and I'm not having to, like, go out and, like, outsource personalities.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

So living for that. But, like, this is my first time trying it.

[Amari]

But now you'll never go back.

[Brooke]

No. Ever. And, like, God, I just, you know, so entertained by myself these days.

[Amari]

Yeah, because you're living your time.

[Brooke]

Like, the party was always over here.

[Amari]

Right. Like, not, like, boating and.

[Brooke]

Yeah. Like, I did not need to be in the harbor.

[Amari]

Your boating era was so funny, though. Like, because it's like, we would, like, meet her. Like, we'd all be doing something, and then she was just always at the marina, sailing.

[Tana]

I loved checking your location, and it was just like, in a body of water. I was like, damn.

[Brooke]

Yeah. And I'd leave and then some other bitches on the boat the next day.

[Amari]

Like, oh, no, you guys were giving below deck shifts.

[Brooke]

Damn, there could have been a show.

[Tana]

Have you seen below deck?

[Brooke]

No, but I've seen Traders, which means I have to see below deck because I'm one of the very important characters. Katie.

[Tana]

Oh, it's from below deck.

[Brooke]

It's from below deck.

[Tana]

Oh, wow. I love below deck. I don't remember her, but below deck is such a good show. You should check it out.

[Amari]

I've seen a little bit Of Below Deck. It's one that's one of the ones that's on cable rotation. Because when we go on tour, a lot of the hotels don't have casting.

[Tana]

Below Deck.

[Amari]

Yeah. You, like, really learn to love the shows that are on cable.

[Tana]

That's a good show to be, like, stuck with.

[Amari]

No, I always get excited when there's, like, a Real Housewives or a Below Decker Kardashians versus just ridiculous. I've seen every single episode of ridiculousness because of.

[Brooke]

I've seen every episode except for the one I was on.

[Amari]

Did it ever come out?

[Brooke]

It came out.

[Amari]

We should react to that for the Patreon. That'd be so fun.

[Brooke]

I would be so bad. I haven't watched it on purpose. That's intentional. But it's just like, I just blocked it out because I was so nervous.

[Amari]

It's really. It's so much harder than it looks like, because I did that too. Like, shot the pilot for a show that never came out. But it was a ridiculousness spin off. And when I was sitting up there, it was like I became the unfunniest person to ever walk. Because it's like, ever. We're able to be funny and witty due to, like, the nature of the conversations that we're having. Like, when I'm watching a video of a guy, like, peeing off a balcony, like, like, that's why Chanel west coast is perfect because she can always just pull out that laugh. Like, you know what I mean? It's like this.

[Brooke]

This felt like so, like, cool pee. Because, yeah, like, yes, I was shooting an episode, but I was. I was auditioning. So, like, they. They had, like, a few of us testing for Chanel west coast spot. Oh, yeah. So, like, as nerve wracking as it already is, imagine thinking, like, oh, like, I'm auditioning for this role. And like, that she has the laugh. So, like, I thought, like, oh, my God, like, what am I gonna. I don't want to, like, try to just be bubbly and stuff because, like, that's just not my personality. I just want to be a hater. But. But I'm thinking. And. And they told me beforehand. Way too much information. They told me I was gonna, like, if I got the part or if I got, like, whatever. It's 22 days. I think they said it was 22 days of the whole year that they film, and it was $2.5 million that I was gonna make for only 22 days of shooting it.

[Amari]

That's actually insane.

[Brooke]

I don't know If I should even.

[Amari]

So then you're up there and you're.

[Brooke]

Like, I don't know if I should say.

[Tana]

I'm like, tell me what to do then.

[Brooke]

So nervous that, like, I don't even. I have no idea what I was saying. And obviously I didn't get the role, but.

[Amari]

But that also could have been like, cancellation impacted. Like, it not your performance, right?

[Brooke]

No, it was before then, but I probably would have lost it.

[Tana]

They could have had me in the splits.

[Brooke]

Yeah, no. Well, and also, like, I was like, influenced by Steel. O Brim is like so hot. So it's literally I'm sitting next to him. Like, it was weird too, because he's like asking me questions about me and I'm like, why are we talking? Like, this is embarrassing. Like, how was your tour?

[Amari]

My God, what does he do? I always confuse him with Ceelo Green.

[Tana]

What?

[Amari]

That's just r. See you driving around town with the girl. My being on podcast, Trisha's robbing off of me.

[Brooke]

Celo Brim is. He's the dj. Or not the dj, but he's the one who. He's on ridiculousness. He's. He is the guy. And he's super hot.

[Amari]

And I've seen every single episode. I'm so stupid.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Tana]

Like, what did you get all these snacks from? Like, where did you. Is there like a corner store around here? You hit the bodega, you get your orange drink.

[Amari]

Oh, J, that's.

[Brooke]

That's J. The block is JLo's Benz & Boon Backflip.

[Amari]

Uh huh.

[Brooke]

I don't understand, like, his bleaching tone.

[Tana]

Mine.

[Amari]

Yeah, yours is Chris Miles's, bro.

[Tana]

You know what's funny is that got taken down, like I posted a TikTok, like when TikTok was like, gonna get banned or whatever. And I was just like going back and posting like a bunch, just like viral drafts and stuff. And I was like, this isn't a draft, but this is fucking hilarious. Let me post it. And it like still cracked like millions of views. And then like, I went to go look at it the other day because I was gonna show someone. It was like taken down for community guidelines, like hateful speech or something like that.

[Amari]

Yeah, it was.

[Brooke]

I was like, damn, TikTok will not let it slide. Unless, of course, it's my comment section, in which case anything slides get.

[Tana]

All of a sudden your videos are promoted without you doing anything. Oh my God. But I was like, damn, they took it down. And I remember like back in the day too, on TikTok. When it first started, I would post TikTok sometimes, like in this T shirt that had Lil Wayne on it and he was smoking. And every time I would post in that t shirt, my TikToks would get taken down for community guidelines. And I was like. I was so confused for the longest time because I was like, I'm not doing anything bad in these videos. I'm just.

[Amari]

I want to get ready with me is taken down for community guidelines. Like, it's just like. It's just my face.

[Brooke]

And your white tank top and your nipples out.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

I like, had it coming to you the other day because this really is my uniform. Like a Hanes white tank, no bra. It's kind of slutty. Like, over the years, I was like, wow, that's like, really? I was talking about on not Loveline the other day about the first time I ever realized I was a slut was because I asked Amari. I was just like, do you think I'm a slut? And I was like, probably like 17, 18 or something. And I was like, heavily expecting him to say no. Like, it's my best friend. He knows all the things I do, whatever and more. He just turns to me and he was like, yeah, you're a slut.

[Brooke]

Well, you need to keep people in your life.

[Tana]

I didn't say, yeah, you're a slut. I was just like. She was. She literally asked. She's like, do you think I'm a slut? And I was like, yeah, I don't care. Duh. I don't care. We have the best time ever. I don't give a. You're a slut. And that's the thing too. She's like, he knows everything I do. Like, I know everything you do.

[Brooke]

You know, we were. We were talking about today that we thought was so funny. So there's a funko pop museum on Hollywood Boulevard right now. And you know what funko pop is?

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

So they have a funko pop of everybody you can possibly imagine. Like, if you. If you can think of them and they are any sort of figure, it doesn't matter if they're like a housewife. They're on Below deck. Like, they have a funko pop.

[Tana]

What?

[Brooke]

So we're. Me and Tana were talking about it today and we were like, how many funko pops do you think you've had sex with?

[Amari]

Try to find out.

[Tana]

That's really funny.

[Brooke]

Like, how many people on your body count are in. Are like, I'm in funko pop.

[Tana]

Should we go to The Funko Pop Museum.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

It was the best time I've ever had.

[Tana]

Oh, you went.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah. It's. I was like. I walked there.

[Amari]

How do I even. Like, how do I even get to the bottom of that? Wait, let me look up. Does Blank have a Funko Pop?

[Tana]

Who?

[Brooke]

Of course he does. Don't be ridiculous. He probably has 11.

[Amari]

Oh, he doesn't have a Funko Pop. Damn. Fell off.

[Brooke]

He must have done something to them, because they have, like, they literally. T. Pain himself has seven of them.

[Amari]

No way.

[Brooke]

I had to buy one because I'm obsessed. Know this. If I die and T Pain is not at my funeral, you guys have failed me. Wait, look.

[Tana]

Oh, my God. That literally looks like my father.

[Brooke]

He's in my house. I have Sasha.

[Amari]

Sasha Baron Cohen.

[Brooke]

No, Sasha like Supergirl Sasha.

[Amari]

Ooh.

[Brooke]

I bought hers because she's my only friend who's in Funko Pop. They should have a Tana Mongeau Funko Pop.

[Amari]

I'm sad that we don't have Funko Pops.

[Brooke]

I get what Tan Monjo Pickles.

[Amari]

Being the top search is everything. No.

[Tana]

Oh, no.

[Brooke]

Funko Pop.

[Amari]

Just look at that PNG photo of me. The fashion photo kills the.

[Brooke]

And I know. I know that look, too. Wait, five, nine.

[Amari]

That photo is saying, I hate people.

[Tana]

I love them.

[Amari]

Without even saying, like, I just look drunk.

[Tana]

Celebrity cutouts. Wait, is it a physical thing you can buy?

[Amari]

What a up image to use.

[Brooke]

I love that image. You do just have perfect skin.

[Tana]

What a shame that you can't even get paid for that. People are buying that? Probably.

[Brooke]

Aaron wants to buy eight, apparently.

[Amari]

So funny, looking back at how swollen my face would be from drinking, I met Pamela Anderson this day, and I remember thinking, God, I look just like her. You know, put the bottle down.

[Brooke]

You know, part about looking back on awful photos of yourself or like, I. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I look back on the worst, most despicable photos of myself, and I'm never like. Like, the thought is always like, I thought I looked amazing. It's never like, oh, I knew I was ugly. It's always like, I thought I was literally the most beautiful person to ever grace this earth.

[Amari]

No, I went somewhere with Josie that night, and I was like, we are equal.

[Tana]

I ate her up. Yeah.

[Amari]

Mind you, she's in, like, no makeup.

[Tana]

Mogging like, me and my duff.

[Amari]

That is so funny to start calling her, like, photos.

[Tana]

You're like, can I get a solo?

[Amari]

No, it's like, can I get a solo? I want to see an exer.

[Tana]

She's so beautiful.

[Amari]

I'm starving.

[Brooke]

I know. You made me miss beef bulgogi night.

[Amari]

I know.

[Tana]

What's beef bulgogi night?

[Amari]

Every Wednesday, her and Miles like, create a menu. And like, that's cute.

[Tana]

See, that's why I want a fucking boyfriend. Like, I want some. I'm so jealous of you bitches in the sense that you guys get to like have sleepovers like every night. Like, if not every night, most nights and stuff. Because like, I've definitely learned to like be fine with being by myself. And I feel like that was a part of like being single for a while. I was like, okay, I need to learn to like, sleep alone. I feel like even like when you and I would just have sleepovers, like after I was like, single, I was like, this isn't necessarily like the healthiest thing in the world. Like, I need to learn how to sleep by myself.

[Amari]

Uh huh.

[Tana]

And.

[Amari]

And then I would be.

[Tana]

And I was like, well, dad, I wanna sleep alone. It's like, no, Mark, you need to sleep fucking alone. Like.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana]

And so like, I finally been doing that and now I'm just like laying there like watching shit at night and I'm like, like, I love watching TV shows and I love watching movies and especially because now I'm like a lot more calm than I used to be. But I'm just like, damn, I wish I had someone to like do this with.

[Amari]

But it also is.

[Tana]

Like, you love like how like you're not annoyed, but you're like, oh, I wish Makoa would also watch Good American Family, you know, like. Cause you wanna talk about it with them and stuff and like, get his take on things. And I'm like, oh, I wish to like watch a show with and we could just fall asleep and then like, you know, it is great.

[Amari]

But like at the same time you miss, like, I miss just being able to sit there and jack off for an hour.

[Tana]

Well, I don't.

[Amari]

And then like talk to myself and like, you know, Mari doesn't jack off.

[Tana]

Like, I've always just like had this mentality that's like, if I want it that bad, then you need to go find someone to do it. No, put yourself out there.

[Brooke]

I, I think I, I got, I guess I get that. But I also like. It's just no one does it quite like you, you know.

[Tana]

I also like being like, pleased by someone else, I guess.

[Brooke]

Yeah, yeah, I get that.

[Tana]

I have jacked off for boys, but.

[Brooke]

Like girls, it's like that no one else can do it.

[Tana]

I'll never forget the very first time that I like jacked off and came. I was like, I like didn't even know that like. Well, I knew that my dick could get hard, but I didn't know that like come could come out of my dick. Should this be on the Patreon?

[Brooke]

Oh my God. I can't imagine how shocking that must have been.

[Tana]

Oh, I was like so confused, but also like fascinated. And I was like, why did that feel so good? No, I remember my parents were like, they went out to dinner late one night. Like I would love to like shower in my parents shower. Oh my God, they're gonna hear this. And I would love to shower in their shower like whenever I had the opportunity. Cuz they just always. It's the master has the best shower. And Yeah, I don't know, I just like obviously going through puberty, I just like randomly started getting hard or whatever and then I literally like jacked off and came and I was just like, I just did that in my coolest thing.

[Amari]

Oh my God.

[Tana]

And in my parents shower.

[Brooke]

Spider man in my parents show.

[Amari]

That is crazy.

[Brooke]

Oh my God, that's amazing.

[Tana]

I never had a wet dream though.

[Brooke]

I remember the first time I was.

[Amari]

Like, always have them.

[Brooke]

Yeah, you know what? I'm sure.

[Amari]

Well, the first time you wanked it.

[Brooke]

Yeah. Like really, like successfully where I was like. And I was old.

[Amari]

How old?

[Brooke]

Think like graduated college.

[Tana]

Was there a toy involved or were you just. Yeah, okay. Was it your first time using the toy?

[Brooke]

I had been like, yeah. Well, no, I don't really, I can't remember. But I think I just wasn't using them hard enough.

[Tana]

I love hard enough.

[Brooke]

It was.

[Tana]

Put it in sport.

[Brooke]

It was. There was something to it. I think I just really need to stick with it, you know, get the hang of it.

[Tana]

You're like talking to the wall. I'm so close.

[Amari]

No, that's actually me.

[Brooke]

I have now shared too much.

[Tana]

But weren't we just talking about Jeff the other day and how he hasn't he like jacked off to himself in the mirror?

[Amari]

Well, I just always tell Jeff that he's so the type of guy where I know he's coming to the thought of himself.

[Brooke]

I would.

[Amari]

Yeah, I guess that's true. And like he loves American Psycho so much that I'm like, I know you've like had sex to this. Like just one of those guys.

[Tana]

Where are you guys most excited to go on tour? Internationally.

[Amari]

Australia. Where'd you say? Paris.

[Brooke]

Just because I want to.

[Tana]

Have you been there before?

[Brooke]

No, I've never been to Europe.

[Tana]

Paris is awesome.

[Brooke]

I know. You need to go excited. And I'm just happy that Bibi's coming and my boyfriend's coming because I'm just.

[Tana]

Gonna have like, you need to make sure that you guys go back to that restaurant that Paige took us to.

[Amari]

Oh, my God. There's this restaurant in Paris. It's one of the best meals I've ever had. Isn't it called, like, oligotte? Is that right?

[Tana]

I think that was like, the style of, like, the potatoes maybe.

[Amari]

But they make this. You'll love it because it's so meat centered for like a steak, but then surrounded in cabbage.

[Brooke]

Is it beef or is it steak?

[Amari]

Probably both. Maybe steak, actually, I don't know.

[Tana]

Mine was beef. Oh, yeah.

[Amari]

But they make you these potatoes that are almost the texture of, like, pasta. Like, when you pick them up, they're like. And they're so cheesy. Oh, my God. I'm gonna.

[Tana]

I'm find it for you literally right now. Because I can find it really fast. I was just showing someone this the other day because one of my friends was in Paris and I was like, you need to go to this place. It's actually nuts. The potatoes.

[Amari]

And there's this place that everybody goes where you drink the red wine out of baby bottles. But I can never get a reservation. And I think it's always because I show up too hammered.

[Tana]

Watch this.

[Brooke]

Like that time you walked in with your nipples out. Oh my God. Something about, like, the way they smack. Uh huh.

[Tana]

And that thing right there, it's like cabbage. And inside is just all meat. Yeah. It was insane. I feel like you're into, like, vintage designer stuff. Like there's a lot of cool, like, vintage designer shopping out there and stuff that I even like. I'm not much of a designer person, but I was like, this stuff is so cool. Like, me too. I'll shop for someone else. But I was like, damn, I wish I wasn't shopping for someone El. Because I'd be shopping for me.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I've always been like a. I hate designer. I don't believe in designer. And just lately I've been like, well, but like, it's. It takes like, things that I'm like, oh my God. Like, this is so. It's an investment.

[Tana]

I love that purse that you recently got.

[Brooke]

I love. But I already put shampoo all over it by accident.

[Amari]

Oh my God. $5,000, right? The YSL.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Well, big body. I was Talking about Trisha went on this whole tangent to me about how she needs to buy this bag, which she's not gonna. And then I get home and she texts me a photo and she goes, I bought the bag in my sleep. Like, I just found it in the house. And I was, like, dying. Literally. How iconic.

[Brooke]

No, it wasn't $5,000. Like four.

[Amari]

Have you guys been seeing, you know, the. How do I say her last name? I always say Katsuya. Ari. Kia.

[Tana]

I love these say Katsuya, but I don't know exactly how to pronounce her last name, but I think it's something like that. Like, Kitsa.

[Brooke]

I'm obsessed with her. I'm obsessed with the way her face, like, moves. She looks.

[Tana]

She's beautiful. I love her voice.

[Amari]

She, like, everything.

[Tana]

Yeah. And her skits are hilarious.

[Amari]

Yeah. Like, she's so funny and so multifacete, and I'm obsessed. But have you been keeping up with her lore online right now?

[Brooke]

Her and her and Jacardi broke up, so that's.

[Tana]

She just.

[Amari]

What gags me is the whole Internet doesn't, like, know this guy. But, like, I found out about her because I'd known Jacardi for a really long time. And it's actually funny because, like, well, I don't know.

[Tana]

Pull up to the trap.

[Amari]

But, yeah, he was always just around, like, would straggle into, like, anything we're ever doing. And one of our good friends was, like, in love with him, one of our guy friends, and he's not gay, so it was just like this ongoing thing forever. And he started dating her. And that's how I found out about her, because someone was like, jacardi's dating this girl and he's, like, managing her, yada, yada, and they're making so much money. And I was like, okay, managing her, running her stuff. I think. Yeah.

[Brooke]

What never ends well, I will just.

[Amari]

Say for all girls, like, do not let your boyfriend run your. Keep your business and your man separate. No matter how much do that. They do do that. And they got married and whatever. But even marriage, like, I love Makoa so much, but I would never put him in the position. I would start a company with him. Right. Or I would do something like that. But to run everything I've built for myself, because it's just scary. Like, it's. You know what I mean? No matter how much you love this person, like, you always have to. Especially just because I, like, even just growing up with my parents, I would see, like, financial abuse and control and just, you know, it's shitty, and it's like, I don't know. As a woman, you have to protect yourself no matter what. But anyways, they were dating and he cheated on her, and she was giving. She was like, telling me the old of you, Jacardi. She was. And it's just so funny because we know him, and it's like, I know I knew him.

[Brooke]

I know him. But I'm like, I'm team hurt. Whatever.

[Amari]

No, same. I know him well enough to where I'm like, damn, that is like, how could you even do that? She was giving me the details too, and it was like some diabolical, like. Like, I don't want to air out her tea because, like, you know, Jacardi. But like, some diabolical. And now she is, like, marketing genius. I love when a guy cheats on a girl and it puts her in, like a. In her bag rage. Like, it's just.

[Tana]

I just saw her with girthmaster.

[Amari]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, when you cheat on a girl and she says, okay, bet. I'm gonna go work with Girth Master. Like, you know, Jacardi's not giving Girth Master.

[Brooke]

No.

[Tana]

This dick is huge.

[Amari]

I've never seen it.

[Tana]

It's on Twitter. Well, he's Girthmaster on Twitter. Oh.

[Amari]

Oh, my God.

[Brooke]

Wow.

[Amari]

Seven inch girth.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Seven inch circumference.

[Tana]

Yeah. God damn.

[Amari]

Six. Six. Show off with a ludicrously capacity, like, capacity.

[Tana]

Oh, capacious.

[Amari]

Like, that's crazy.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

But I'm just, like, so happy for her because it's like, how iconic. And, you know, she's making a grillion dollars off of that collab, and it's just like her marketing skills are everything. She said, I'll get on a plane and fly 27 hours right now.

[Tana]

Yeah. Angie was collabing with that girl that.

[Amari]

We like, Kayla Jade.

[Tana]

Yes.

[Amari]

Yeah. I love her. Love her content.

[Brooke]

I do not with Girth Master anything. Get that away from me.

[Amari]

I would, like, actually, like, die.

[Brooke]

I don't care.

[Amari]

Seven inches around is crazy.

[Tana]

Oh, I couldn't even think about that. Because also, like, I mean, it's. I'm going to assume that it's easier to take a dick in your vagina than it is your.

[Amari]

Yeah, definitely.

[Tana]

My would be bleeding.

[Amari]

No, that's like hospital territory.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Girth Master.

[Brooke]

Whoa. I wish someone. I had a cool name like that, though.

[Amari]

Yeah. You could be like, Gusset Goddess. Gusset Goddess.

[Tana]

But yeah. What's Gusset? Damn. I want it.

[Brooke]

That's it. Long story.

[Tana]

Dicks like that are fun to, like, suck, but not.

[Brooke]

No. Talk about lock jaw.

[Tana]

Yeah. I have a little mouth. So hot.

[Amari]

Look at it in the book.

[Tana]

Holy.

[Amari]

Oh, my God. It, like, doesn't even look like a dick. It looks like something you'd buy at Home Depot to, like, help you, like, install a window.

[Brooke]

An idea. When you, like, realize that, like, the tip just looks so, like, minuscule on.

[Amari]

It, you know, I don't even think you could make a bigger tip. Oh, my God.

[Tana]

That's actually insane. The lighter sitting on it is so funny.

[Amari]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tana]

It's allowed on Reddit.

[Amari]

That's so funny. If I was him, I would, like, dress it up. I would, like, get little outfits.

[Tana]

He probably has.

[Brooke]

I remember I saw, like, a Petco and get, like, little sweaters on his.

[Tana]

Twitter where he, like, put it like a pizza box.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Amari]

I get it completely. Oh, my God. That's wild.

[Brooke]

You have to wonder, like, what it's like to be grown, like, or to be born with, like, an appendage like that or, like, just anything. Like, at what age do you think he was?

[Tana]

Like, my dick's huge.

[Brooke]

I'm girthier than the rest, right?

[Tana]

Like, did he play sports? Or, like, did someone else tell him?

[Brooke]

Or, like, what'd you say, Aaron?

[Tana]

That's gotta suck. Yeah.

[Brooke]

How old were you, Aaron? Huh? Never mind.

[Amari]

I don't wanna know about Aaron's dick size.

[Brooke]

Well, he said it kinda sucks. Like, you missed it. You ruin everything.

[Amari]

I can't change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

[Tana]

My love. My love. My love.

[Amari]

Oh, we kind of hit that. You know, Trisha has. I'm going to her show in Vegas this weekend, and she was like, I want you to sing on stage with me. She's making me rap. Hefner.

[Tana]

Oh, my God.

[Amari]

Like, I'm doing it for the first time in so long, and I'm so. So I'm gonna have to be so medicated. And we'll do a little Viva Las Vegas. But, like, where's Hefner? It's at the Chelsea at the Cosmo, which we did. And I'm so excited to go back. I obviously, best green room ever. Every time we. Best screen room ever every time we ever do a show at, like, a massive, esteemed venue. In my head as we leave, I, like, take one good look around, because in my head, I'm like, I will never be asked back. Like, like, you don't think? Yeah, I guess I'm being like, A little facetious, but, like, you know what I mean? It's just such an honor. And, like, yeah, you.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Amari]

And you never want to get in the mindset of, like, yeah, I'm gonna come play this venue a hundred thousand times. Like, you know, it is so Special.

[Tana]

Up next, O2 Arena.

[Amari]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brooke]

Was so crazy, too, because obviously, it's like an. In a casino and stuff. So, like, they pick you up with security and escort you through all, like, the secret hallways and, like, private elevators and, like, take you down like your Barack himself.

[Amari]

Yeah. And at one point, I was banned from the Cosmopolitan Hotel, so I think it felt extra special to have gone so far the other way. I'm waiting for my resurgence at the win. It'll probably never happen, but we're doing that. What else are we doing? Paige is coming with me. We're gonna see Donny Osmond.

[Tana]

Oh, Paige is gonna go.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's so exciting.

[Amari]

I know. And Donnie and Marie. That's why my middle name is Marie.

[Brooke]

Donnie and Marie.

[Amari]

Yeah. So I'm excited for that. Madison. How funny is it that I have the opportunity to rap Hefner on stage with Holly Madison there?

[Brooke]

It's so iconic to me. It's the fact that Holly Madison literally bought tickets to our Vegas show, didn't even tell us, showed up, watched it, and left.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Like, didn't come great. Like, literally. We found out on her story that, like, she attended it.

[Brooke]

Like, it blows my mind because, like, I'm a super fan. Yeah.

[Amari]

I would have, like, carried her in myself. Like, truly. That show was crazy.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Doing venue stages like that, I don't know how to explain it. When they're like, the stage is so big like that, and it feels almost.

[Tana]

Like it was massive.

[Amari]

Like, when the stage is so big and we just sit in our chairs, it's like, you know, that was such a fun show.

[Tana]

It was the biggest audience, too. I was just like, holy.

[Brooke]

It felt so. Because, like, obviously, like, it's your hometown show, but, like. And so it's an important show to me, but it's not as important as it is to her. So I felt like I was, like, like, really excited by it, but not nervous by it because it's like, these aren't my friends or, like, my people. So I, like, I just really wanted to be on that show.

[Amari]

Weirdly, in Arizona. I was so nervous to do it around your family. And that venue was crazy because we were. That was the only time I think we've ever done a show that's on a Circle stage.

[Tana]

Oh, yeah.

[Amari]

And it's. Doing a show on a circle stage is so strange because it's like, there are people, like, literally behind my back, and it feels like you're in the crowd. Polar opposite of Vegas, because it's, like, a small stage in the middle of the crowd. Then we had some guy trying to, like, heckle and be nuts and get kicked out, and I was, like, all paranoid, literally.

[Brooke]

Like, you know when something happens to you when you're a kid and it's traumatizing and it stays with you for the rest of your life? I had a dance competition one time. The only dance competition. My mom will kill me for ever saying this, but one time she came to watch me perform.

[Amari]

She.

[Brooke]

And it was like, it takes. You know, it takes forever sometimes. There's, like, a million things before you randomly. Her drug dealer picked her up, and she left, and she missed my dance. And I came off stage and, like, realized I was so devastated. Like, I literally, like, it was. I was unwell for, like, months after. And during the show, I watched my dad walk up and leave and never come back.

[Tana]

I was like, oh, my God.

[Amari]

And that's so sad. Arguably, it's like, just don't come.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

No, it's. Seriously. And, like, I. I have such a thing about that. Like, people coming and, like, watching me. I don't know why. Because it's like, seriously, like, no one ever came to my anything, so I got so mad at him about that, and he's literally. I saw the whole thing. I didn't leave until after, and he, like, gave an example, and it was like. That was literally in the first 10 minutes.

[Amari]

No, that really is.

[Brooke]

And I, like, knew where they were. You know what I mean?

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

The whole time I'm thinking, like, oh, you're looking, like.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Anyway, that was honestly, like, kind of dark.

[Amari]

No, I just.

[Tana]

I'd be pissed.

[Brooke]

I was so upset.

[Tana]

You can't even get up to pee.

[Brooke]

There's a company who. Who's, like, known for their wide gusts. At Joni's.

[Amari]

Okay.

[Brooke]

Apparently, like, they're the. They're the company doing a collab with me.

[Amari]

No way.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Wait, you have to.

[Brooke]

Your pickles. I got gusset.

[Amari]

Yes.

[Tana]

Wide, gusset chonies. So gussets.

[Brooke]

No, no.

[Amari]

It's like a piece of fabric. It's, like, in it.

[Brooke]

The piece of your pants that's, like, meant for your crotch.

[Tana]

August it. Why do you know that's, like, aglet?

[Brooke]

Well, I didn't know it. In fact, I used it in the wrong context approximately 30 times before I learned.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana]

How are you using it before? Like, gullet?

[Amari]

No, like, I bought. Like, was the.

[Brooke]

I thought it was for chonies for my wide gusset, but apparently it's. It's my. My. You know what I'm saying?

[Amari]

Your Pikachu needs.

[Brooke]

Yeah. You know, that's why I stopped. Just because I didn't know how I was gonna. What it's gonna.

[Amari]

Yeah. I was watching you. Okay. I swear to God, I'm literally like Teresa Caputo. Because it's like I walked out there to use the restroom, and I was, like, skipping down the hall. I felt amazing. And then the second I walk back in here, it's like I'm, like, sweating, and I feel like.

[Brooke]

I know. Well, it is really hot in here, and we have been shooting for seven hours straight.

[Amari]

And I guess maybe that is just it, but I swear, it's like I'm an energy reader and I know something.

[Tana]

Is that who.

[Brooke]

Someone died?

[Amari]

Yeah. She's a medium.

[Tana]

She, like, Long island medium.

[Amari]

She is long.

[Tana]

Oh, really?

[Brooke]

Long island medium.

[Tana]

Wow. I like that.

[Amari]

I just feel like I'm like, wow, should we give? And what have I gotten all over these pants?

[Brooke]

You have it all over your body, too. What, did you paint something?

[Amari]

Oh, I did paint in the. In the app set, I guess.

[Tana]

I can't wait to have one.

[Amari]

I know. I'm so excited. It's my favorite sweatset in the world.

[Tana]

Other colors?

[Brooke]

No, but we're thinking about it.

[Tana]

A brown would hit.

[Amari]

A brown would hit. We should just make them in every.

[Brooke]

Color a brown would hit. But we did already release a sweat set in the dead of summer, so maybe we do a summer color.

[Tana]

I remember. Like, your dizzy dark green.

[Amari]

Yeah, I love that.

[Brooke]

Remember? I remember when you guys all did the. The, like, tie dye. Blue.

[Tana]

Oh, the tennis court.

[Amari]

Oh, that was like.

[Brooke]

I was jealous because I was, like, kind of just getting into the group, and Lila got an invite. An invite. And I didn't.

[Tana]

Didn't. That was such a funny day.

[Amari]

It was the worst day ever because me and Jordan were, like, fighting so bad.

[Tana]

Are you coming to pickle activities tomorrow?

[Brooke]

I only barely got invited.

[Amari]

Barely is crazy. I literally made a. It's so funny, too, because I made a group chat because I know you. Like, I've given you. If I give.

[Brooke]

I only say that because there was a pickle activity already that I never heard about.

[Amari]

That is true. That is true.

[Tana]

Clocked your tea.

[Amari]

Clocked my tea. I just didn't. I just. I'm Bad at thinking. Sometimes it just like happens through word of mouth.

[Tana]

Does Miles like pickles?

[Brooke]

I think so. He likes everything.

[Tana]

Do you guys like a lot of the same foods?

[Brooke]

He's such an amazing cook and he cooks every single day, every single meal. So things that I didn't know I liked I like now because he makes them perfectly.

[Tana]

What was the hardest thing like that you had to adapt to in your guys's relationships? It's like a way that he operates versus the way that you operate. And honestly I'm gonna ask you the same thing.

[Brooke]

Nothing. And that's.

[Tana]

Well it was just so easy.

[Brooke]

No, serious, like actually we kind of talked about this in the beginning but when we first started dating I was worried that like I was like, oh, it's just too easy and like something's like feels off about that but like.

[Tana]

About to self sabotage.

[Brooke]

He's so agreeable and like he just doesn't want to fight and he's so like unprobled. Like he just won't.

[Tana]

How old is he?

[Brooke]

37.

[Tana]

Oh, what? So he like, he looks way younger.

[Brooke]

Never like if I'm like, oh this bothered me, he'd be like, okay, like I'll never do it again. It's not like a pushover. He's like, like he stands his ground but like he's. I, we just would never argue. I don't.

[Tana]

Yeah, he's simple and he listens and.

[Brooke]

He takes like he's just such a, like he's very gentle and like, like his parents are older and he kind of just like operate. He reminds me of my grandpa. Grandpa.

[Amari]

Oh, that's really sweet.

[Brooke]

And you love your grandpa so much and like the way he is to my grandma and like you know, obviously my grandma like has mentioned stuff and he like really takes care of her. Like my mindset in this relationship is like he would so do that.

[Tana]

Yeah. That's awesome.

[Amari]

That's actually so like I know he would.

[Tana]

Yeah. That's amazing. What about you? What was like the hardest?

[Amari]

I don't know if I've ever like respected someone the way I respect Makoa.

[Tana]

Okay.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Like do you know what I mean? Like I just. Because I would go for these people obviously that like I don't know, it was hard through sometimes their actions to possess like Nicole was such a respectable human.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Not that I've never like I've obviously just things up with good people too but like I don't know, like just things that I would normally immediately do or post or say or whatever while dating. Someone I now, like, won't. You know what I mean? And I just very much, like, really became, like, so wifey and so devoted to this person. Like, even just the other day, Jeff was saying, like, you're not fun on the podcast anymore because you're taken. And I'm like, it's true. Because, like, I would just say the most out of pocket shit, and, like, now I can't because, like, almost like.

[Tana]

Their actions, like, kind of instilled that upon you, and you're like, whatever. They do this.

[Amari]

Yeah. Yes. Or just like, I don't respect them.

[Brooke]

So it's like, whatever.

[Amari]

Yeah. Or I didn't care deep down. Wanting something to last. I guess. So it's kind of like when you don't care if something lasts deep down, you kind of like, that bleeds into lots of your actions.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

And whatnot.

[Tana]

Back to taking to account someone else's feelings about things and stuff.

[Amari]

Yeah. Especially when someone doesn't always consider your feelings or just. Again, I was in errors in my life where it might have been a great person, but I just wasn't ready for it or whatever.

[Tana]

But, yeah.

[Amari]

I don't know. Yeah.

[Brooke]

I think that's, like, the weirdest thing is, like, if you asked any person who stayed at me before, they'd be like, she's the most. Most psychotic, awful, like, girlfriend ever. But, like, kind of the same thing you're saying. It's like, I just would never, ever want to be bad.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Yeah. Because it's. It's one thing when someone scolds you for being bad, and it's another thing when, like, it's not even that, like. Like, you're disappointed in yourself if you act that way to this person who's so undeserving. Like, I think that's.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

A lot of what it is with McColl where it's like, he wouldn't even have to say anything. There have been times where, like. Like, I was a raging. Or I'm drinking and I'm being insane, and it's not even like he's like, cut that out. It's like the next day I'm like, why would I do that?

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

Person that. You know what I mean? That I love so much.

[Tana]

You looked in the mirror.

[Amari]

Yeah. Quite literally saw the reflection.

[Brooke]

Well, thank you, Aaron. I'm sorry.

[Tana]

Thank you, Big daddy.

[Amari]

Ami.

[Brooke]

Don't sexualize him.

[Tana]

He's the one that says, hey, sexy to me when I walk up to him.

[Brooke]

We don't have human resources.

[Tana]

You guys are hr, period.

[Brooke]

Us into Some serious trouble.

[Tana]

Imagine, like, I was your guys's hr. You know, it's. It's cracks me up. I got a DM today.

[Amari]

Thank you.

[Tana]

You all know it's so funny. I got a DM today. I get so many random dms, like, about your guys's. You guys message me, like, this is my podcast. First of all, like, it's really fun.

[Amari]

Didn't someone message you recently trying to sell you a ticket?

[Tana]

Yes, someone was. Yeah, someone. They were like, I don't know if it was like a TikTok or a story or a tweet or something like that, but they're like, I saw your blah, blah, blah. Like, are you looking for a show to the Tana Mongeau, like, Melbourne concert concert? First of all, like, that in itself was just hilarious. So obviously I screenshotted it, put it on my story, and was like. Like, oh, my God, I'd do anything for a ticket, guys. Help me find one. But I got a DM today, and it's just, like, so funny to me because obviously, like, I know people in their minds, like, maybe he can't help. Or like, duh, like, reach for the stars, you know? And what is it? Reach for the stars and if you miss, you land. Like, reach for the moon. Something like that.

[Amari]

Reach for the moon and if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

[Tana]

Yeah, something like that. Whoa. I also got a DM about a foot fetish. That's weird. Are they listening? And what did they say? So, okay, so I'm just a girl trying to get into Neon Carnival.

[Amari]

Oh, they're asking.

[Tana]

I thought this had to.

[Amari]

Neon Carnival.

[Tana]

Well, that also is really funny. But I also get people, like, someone was messaging me about, like, how they're trying to get tickets, like, to your show, all this stuff. And I'm like, so go to, like, cancelled tour.com or whatever.

[Amari]

And the cancelled podcast Calm.

[Tana]

There we go. The cancelled podcast dot com. Like, do what do I look like Ticketmaster?

[Brooke]

It's so. But I get so many DMS that are like, tana, please. Like, blah, blah. Like, it'll be like a novel. And then at the end, they'll just be like, can you send this to her?

[Tana]

Yes, that too. Can you please tell them I'm on it?

[Amari]

What?

[Tana]

Like, sometimes I get, like, have fun too, and respond to them. Because there was. There was one person, your club appearance that you did in Miami. There's this guy, the DMV was like, I want to go so bad. Like, blah, blah, blah. And I literally responded And I go, go then. And then the next day he did go and you reposted his story. I was like, there's no fucking way. But I literally was just like, go then, like. Because what the fuck?

[Amari]

Well, that one especially. Because it's like, what does he literally want you to fly him out?

[Tana]

Yes, exactly. He was a Miami local, but like, still like, what am I going to do?

[Amari]

That one was free to the public.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

I can't believe we're doing a pop up tomorrow. I just like, I'm like, I've never.

[Brooke]

Done a. I honestly just ran into Sydney Sweeney at her pop up.

[Amari]

I love ran into Sydney Sweeney at.

[Tana]

Her pop up the laneige one.

[Brooke]

I didn't go there. She was there and I passed by.

[Amari]

Oh, and you were at the Grove and then just passed like. I just want to know pop up etiquette. Like, what am I supposed to do? I feel like. And normally this is also like, pop ups are always, always for like lattes and like no makeup products.

[Tana]

2018, you'd be like, what's up? Who wants a pickle?

[Amari]

You're right. I should just channel that.

[Tana]

You all look so sexy.

[Brooke]

You want to know some tea? We, me and Tana, I think, have both been in talks with La La Land to do like a drink. Oh, separately. Which hers is probably gonna come before mine. Let's be real.

[Amari]

No, I ended up just deciding that I. Because I was wanting to do the drink because I couldn't do the pickle. Like, it's not that. Like, I do drink coffee every day, but it's not a part of my.

[Brooke]

I drink La La Land every day.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Not to be like.

[Tana]

No, I can see you getting yours first because you be at the Grove.

[Brooke]

Well, I just love La La Land, so.

[Amari]

And it's more you like, it's cutesy and it's. It's clean and it's on brand.

[Brooke]

Well, but we've been.

[Tana]

She's like mud, water, mocha.

[Brooke]

I bet I'm like a lolly. And like, I just love lan. I'm obsessed with the branding. I'm like, I'm obsessed with anything that like, has cute packaging.

[Tana]

Yeah, they do have really cute.

[Amari]

I'm so like the little heart straws. Oh, yes. Bend me over.

[Brooke]

And so they just got me with their. Like. Like just from the instant I saw them and literally have been ordering it. I ordered it every single day for like six.

[Amari]

I think they're sold on the pitch.

[Brooke]

I'm telling you. I'm telling you why this was so exciting. Waiting for me. So then I. They asked me to do a drink, and I was so excited, and I went and I had my meeting with them, and they take you, like, on the third at the third street location. There's like an a secret upstairs, like, oh, yeah, type situation. They brought me in there, and I've got to try every drink on the menu. We were talking about, like, flavors and stuff, and I was like, I want to do a chair, like, because they had just done the banana.

[Tana]

I like where you're going. You know, they took that from. They took it from suede and gave it to Heidi and Spencer. Well, for good reason. But, like, damn.

[Amari]

Well, no. I don't know. It's like, make a new flavor.

[Tana]

Yeah. Make a new flavor.

[Brooke]

I don't know anything about that, but.

[Tana]

I. I stand with Lala.

[Brooke]

Well, so I'm like, trying to think of how to make it creative because I'm like, well, they've already done. They already have a strawberry. They have banana cream. That's new. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna do cherry.

[Tana]

Amazing.

[Brooke]

Cherry sounds delicious. How cute is that? Like, because it was gonna be like a springtime release. So it's gonna be, like, with the.

[Amari]

Matcha, like, the red and the green.

[Brooke]

Yeah. Yes. How cute is that?

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

What happened?

[Brooke]

Sydney Sweeney, cherry drink at her popup.

[Tana]

Oh, like, you pitched the idea. Yes.

[Brooke]

Oh, and, like, I live and die for her. But, like, by the time they get, like, dingleberry green top, you're, like, outsourcing.

[Tana]

Fruit from the international tour. Like, I brought home a durian.

[Brooke]

There's not gonna be. Nothing.

[Amari]

Is brutal.

[Brooke]

And I'm sure she had nothing to do with it, but I'm like, but. But finding a good idea and being.

[Amari]

Like, she's, you know what, you know.

[Brooke]

Would be better for this.

[Amari]

Yeah. No, that's why it's brutal. It has nothing to do with Sydney Sweeney. Even Suede's like, I remember that happening, like, because we were just talking about it within the friend group. Like, whatever. Suede had her banana drink, and then they gave it to Heidi and Spencer. And I just remember being like, that is shitty. Like, suede's out there fucking making the drink in the Shanaynays. And then, like, Heidi and Spencer come along. Like, it is probably just like, everyone can have a new flavor. Like, it doesn't.

[Tana]

So when you see Brooke with a pomelo cream cold foam drink at La La Land Cafe, ask no questions, because there were no more fruits.

[Brooke]

We're out. I'm gonna have Like a beef flavored beef cream top. You remember when that girl Brook Monk beat up her dog and then she accidentally uploaded and that was a Brook Monk. I. I didn't mean Brooke Monk.

[Tana]

I was like, wait, that sweet little girl did not beat her dog up. I know you're talking about.

[Amari]

Good on you, though. We need him here more often.

[Tana]

Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Brooke Monk.

[Amari]

No.

[Brooke]

You know how often, like, we do that? Like, first and last names and we'll both be like, yes.

[Tana]

No. Because if you pulled up Brooke Monk.

[Brooke]

Like, we did that recently with something so funny. And I just like, I, I. Oh.

[Tana]

I think I know you're talking about it.

[Brooke]

And I was like, I watched it back and I was like, there's no.

[Amari]

We'll actually be like, Amelia Gray flew that plane into the Bermuda Triangle.

[Brooke]

It was exactly like that.

[Tana]

She got eaten by crabs. Yeah.

[Brooke]

It was like, it was us on a guest episode. It was like, with Jeffree Star, and it was all three of us, like, collectively said exactly the wrong name. And we were like, yep, that is so cool.

[Amari]

But so anyways, the girl who did do that, what's your worst fear?

[Brooke]

She uploaded the raw footage. That's like, my biggest fear is, like, accidentally uploading, like, the unedited.

[Tana]

You know what's so crazy?

[Amari]

Mine was my brand deals. Oh, my God. Because I'll be. I'll be cracking the funniest jokes and brand deals that obviously will never make the cut. And it's like, it's also funny when.

[Tana]

Brands think that they can get raw footage for you. Like, when we're like, we want the raw footage. It's like, are you crazy?

[Amari]

Yeah, no, I snorted my snot 37.

[Tana]

Yeah. You're not getting that. Like, we can make it look like.

[Amari]

The rough ask you for raw footage footage.

[Tana]

I've been asked for raw footage before, and I'm just like, are you crazy?

[Amari]

Brands don't even want my raw footage. Like, that's truly never happened.

[Brooke]

Like, you actually sent us too much.

[Amari]

Yeah, no, later.

[Tana]

I'll always see when they want, like, UGC from it and stuff because they want to, like, edit it themselves and stuff. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no.

[Brooke]

One thing no one's ever gonna want from me is ugc.

[Amari]

What is that?

[Tana]

User generated content. Like, you're giving them content that you don't necessarily have to post. You're just giving, like, when I did that, like, Nike deal a long time ago, like, I had to give them stuff for, like, their website.

[Brooke]

But it's Kind of this. It's the type of thing like a super aesthetic person would do because it's like the brand wants to use it, repurpose it as their own content.

[Amari]

Oh, my God. That's why I've never been. I have no idea what it's even called. What do you want? Cheeto fingers on your crop top? Really?

[Brooke]

It pays so much. And like, so, yeah, so many of, like, the really, like, aesthetic girls do it because, like, they. You don't even have to post it on your own thing. But, like, brands, like, will pay for, like, a really stylish, like, aesthetic girl to, like, take trendy photos of, like, the coffee and the.

[Amari]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Tana]

That's why when I did.

[Amari]

Damn. I truly am finding out about this today. And it tells you everything you need to know.

[Tana]

That's why when I did that shoe, I hired Hunter to shoot it because I was like, they want ugc, they're paying me a bag.

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana]

So I'll have Hunter do it because, like, cool on both ends, you know?

[Brooke]

But it genuinely, like, it seems like the hardest job in the world to me.

[Amari]

Oh, my God. I could never. I try. Like, literally, even this weekend in San Diego, I was trying to take one aesthetic photo. I have permanent chicken grease on my iPhone.

[Brooke]

Me too.

[Tana]

Same. Lately, I don't know what, What's. What's in the air. No.

[Amari]

And it's like, I bought this brand new iPhone. Please, anybody. Let me know in the comments. Well, did anybody else buy a brand new iPhone? And then the camera, everyone, mind you, everyone else is like, this camera quality is crazy. I'm throwing away my DSLR and I'm like, I bought a 3GS.

[Brooke]

No, this is. Well, I still have a. I think I have like the 15 or something, which, like. Oh, no, you have an iPhone 15.

[Amari]

But wait, same.

[Brooke]

I'm confused. It like switches between the cameras. Like, like, I'll be like a totally normal distance away from Murph. Why can't I fucking see Murph?

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Amari]

And it's like, even if switches between.

[Brooke]

Cameras, like, it's never the right one.

[Tana]

It's always doing its own thing.

[Amari]

No. And it's brutal. Like, Mokoa and I will be taking the same photo and we have the same phone, and his is so gorgeous. And I'm like, my camera's cleaned off. I can have other people try to fuck with the settings. Like, it just. Granted I have like 200,000 items in my camera roll, so maybe it's like.

[Brooke]

No, I don't think that should have any impact on it at all.

[Amari]

I keep buying new phones in hopes that I get this new mystical camera that everyone speaks of. And I just keep getting toaster qual.

[Brooke]

Oh my God. I saw this video. Do you know, like, I really struggle with like what the is a camera and how does it work and how do we take photos and more importantly, how the do we take videos? It doesn't make sense to me. Like that seems so magic. But this man, so funny.

[Tana]

You have these thoughts and you like, you don't even smoke weed.

[Brooke]

No, this is like a totally normal thought. This man finds cans in, in the wilderness. Like when he's just hiking a mountain, cuts the top off, he puts photo paper inside, pokes a pin size hole in the. In a thing. And that like that pinhole is your camera. And then he sets it down in front of like a beautiful landscape, leaves it there for a few days with like a top on it. And it literally takes a photo like that pinhole. Like the light shining through that hole burns the image onto the photo paper and then you can develop it as a fully like processed beautiful like photo.

[Amari]

Imagine he's just taking the photo on a camera and lying.

[Brooke]

And you could. Because I don't fucking know how it works.

[Tana]

That's insane. That's some. That's some science.

[Amari]

No, it's.

[Brooke]

But it's really crazy how simple it is, but also how I cannot wrap this pee brain around it.

[Amari]

No. Because it's not simple. That makes no sense of this piece of paper. And this can. Can take a photograph.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Or phones. I can talk to. I can talk to Michaela Testa down under and she can hear me in the exact moment that I am saying this in America.

[Amari]

I couldn't agree more. Facetime is even crazy if you think about it.

[Brooke]

No, I remember when Ashley Tisdale movie came out when they like were talking like FaceTiming. But like it was before we had FaceTime. We were like, could you imagine if we could really do that?

[Amari]

Yeah.

[Tana]

Now it's like because you were talking about photographs, it got me thinking about Ed Sheeran because the song photograph he got added to the Weekend two lineup.

[Brooke]

Yeah, that's what I heard.

[Tana]

I'm livid.

[Amari]

Okay. Are you guys Weezer fans?

[Brooke]

Island in the Sun.

[Tana]

Who?

[Amari]

Okay. One Weekend got Weezer and one Weekend got Ed Sheeran. And maybe I'm just such an Ed Sheeran fan, but why do I feel like that's one weekend getting Michaela tested on one weekend getting Anna Paul.

[Brooke]

Wait, is we.

[Tana]

Or are they like no, that was, like, bad.

[Amari]

I was just saying, like, way better is one. Oh, way better is one. Yes.

[Tana]

Ed Sheeran. I love it. I love Ed Sheeran so much. He was my first.

[Amari]

I'm not hating on Weezer. It's just. Just like Ed Sheeran live just even.

[Tana]

Feels like I've never learned, like, his. He was one of the first musicians, the first musician I ever learned an album. Every word to every song, front to back.

[Amari]

That's the best.

[Tana]

Back in, like, middle school.

[Brooke]

That's crazy.

[Tana]

You cannot hate on old Ed Sheeran. I remember I told Sam Golbach or Sam Golbach ones that he looked like hot Ed Sheeran. And he was so offended.

[Amari]

All right, you guys, we have officially been at the canceled studio for a grillion hours, but we love you all so, so much. By the time you see this, we will be on our international tour. If there are any tickets left or anything, please come see us. And we love you so much. We're gonna miss our little haunted studio while we're gone. And Amari, thank you for joining us.

[Tana]

Thanks for having me. I had a great time my first time in here.

[Amari]

I don't feel like slutty little third co host.

[Tana]

See you in Melbourne.

[Amari]

By.