121: TANA WENT TO THE HOSPITAL ON TOUR… - Ep. 121

Summary

Podcast Summary: Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield
Episode 121: "TANA WENT TO THE HOSPITAL ON TOUR…"
Release Date: May 24, 2025

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Introduction: On Tour in Germany

The episode opens with Tana Mongeau and Brooke Schofield aboard their international tour, currently stationed in Berlin, Germany. They express their excitement about utilizing a fancy studio in Berlin, setting the stage for an intimate conversation about their tour experiences.

[00:20] Brooke: "We are using this lovely studio in Berlin, Germany. And it's so fancy in here."

---

Fashion Talk and Public Scrutiny

Tana and Brooke delve into a light-hearted discussion about their footwear choices, addressing public opinions and criticisms they've faced regarding their fashion, specifically their choice of chunkless flats and sneaker slides.

[01:00] Brooke: "I have MOA on my socks, which I'm really living for. Somebody made me these at the Berlin Show."

[02:24] Tana: "It's essentially like one giant department store with, like, all luxury everything, but it's literally six stories tall."

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Touring Challenges: Boarding Drama and Flight Issues

A significant portion of the conversation centers around their tumultuous experience boarding a flight. Tana recounts the frantic rush to board amidst miscommunications and aggressive flight attendants, leading to emotional distress and conflicts with a fellow passenger.

[06:04] Tana: "No, no, we were. I was boarding. We were boarding. So I was like, probably not a smart idea to sit down at PF Changs."

[07:14] Brooke: "I would never ever, ever, ever, ever. I don't, I don't want to go through that, right?"

The incident not only heightened their stress levels but also set a challenging tone for the rest of their tour.

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Health Scare: Tana's Hospital Visit

Tana shares a harrowing account of experiencing severe chest pain during a dress rehearsal, initially mistaking it for a heart attack. Her symptoms escalated, leading her to seek medical attention in Norway. The narrative highlights the panic and confusion during the ordeal, culminating in a visit to a Norwegian hospital where she was diagnosed with a pulled muscle near her heart.

[28:58] Brooke: "And then I can just tell that after tarmac gate, which was not our fault, like, they just don't believe."

[31:38] Tana: "And I get an EKG. Makoa's so fed up because my priorities are so out of whack."

The experience underscores the physical and emotional toll of touring, especially when compounded by health issues.

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Addiction Discussion: Struggles with Vaping

Following her health scare, Brooke opens up about her struggles with vaping addiction. She juxtaposes it with her past battles with alcohol and benzodiazepines, emphasizing the psychological grip vaping has on her despite it seemingly having no tangible benefits.

[33:41] Tana: "But it's not pathetic. It's addiction. That's just, like, the name of the game."

[34:08] Brooke: "Because, like, I guess that's true. The other things were like, I'm gonna die and, like, ruining my life in that sense."

The conversation sheds light on the challenges of overcoming addiction, particularly when the habit doesn't feel as immediately detrimental as others they've faced.

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Touring and Personal Priorities: Balancing Work and Exploration

Tana and Brooke discuss the intricacies of maintaining personal interests and responsibilities while on tour. Brooke expresses frustration over balancing her YouTube channel and other projects with the demands of the podcast and touring schedule.

[37:31] Tana: "But everyone is just so mean to me. What do you mean?"

[38:13] Brooke: "I've been doing a lot of other things. Like, genuinely, I have."

Their dialogue highlights the tension between personal passions and professional commitments, especially in the high-pressure environment of a global tour.

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Relationships and Engagement: Navigating Public Scrutiny

The hosts transition into a candid discussion about their personal relationships, particularly focusing on public perceptions, engagement pressures, and the balance between private happiness and public expectations.

[49:36] Tana: "When you're in a happy relationship, everyone just like assumes like, obviously you want to get married immediately."

[52:10] Brooke: "And I also, I like that weirdly, I don't like being like, the first to do anything ever."

They explore societal pressures surrounding marriage and engagement, emphasizing their desire to prioritize meaningful connections over conforming to external expectations.

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Meet and Greet Moments: Interactions with Fans

Tana and Brooke share memorable moments from their meet and greet sessions, including a particularly awkward instance where an anal joke fell flat with a fan. This anecdote underscores the unpredictability of fan interactions and the pressures of maintaining a relatable persona.

[58:16] Tana: "We were at the meet and greet and... made an anal joke to the one person who..."

[59:57] Brooke: "And I'm thinking, I hit the anal joke to the one supporting friend and it was, oh my God."

Their stories illustrate the delicate balance between humor and appropriateness in fan engagements.

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Sponsorship and Promotions

In alignment with the podcast format, the episode includes a sponsorship segment promoting SeatGeek, a popular ticketing app. Brooke enthusiastically endorses the platform, highlighting its features and offering a discount code for listeners.

[12:30] Brooke: "I love using SeatGeek because I love attending a live show. I'm seeing the Fray and Landon Barker later this fall, and I'm so excited. I got my tickets on SeatGeek."

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Closing Remarks: Gratitude and Future Plans

As the episode draws to a close, Tana and Brooke express heartfelt gratitude towards their fans, reflecting on the global love and support they've received throughout their tour. They tease upcoming episodes featuring guest appearances and resolving past tensions.

[61:40] Brooke: "I really debate saving this for the final episode because I really think this one's going to get hurt going."

[62:19] Brooke: "Stay tuned."

They leave listeners with a sense of anticipation for future content, reinforcing the bond between the hosts and their audience.

---

Notable Quotes

• Tana Mongeau:

  "I was about to doze off into REM like, I'm sorry that you have something."
  [25:11]

• Brooke Schofield:

  "It's so sad and pathetic to be so addicted to something that like, does nothing."
  [33:23]

• Tana Mongeau:

  "And I was like, sir, we are respectfully on the tarmac."
  [21:34]

• Brooke Schofield:

  "We love you guys so much."
  [61:50]

---

Conclusion

Episode 121 of "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield" provides a raw and unfiltered glimpse into the challenges and triumphs of life on tour. From boarding mishaps and health scares to the complexities of addiction and personal relationships, Tana and Brooke navigate their experiences with humor, vulnerability, and authenticity. Their candid discussions not only entertain but also offer relatable insights into the pressures of fame and the importance of self-awareness and resilience.

Transcript

[A]

Trip Planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand. We were made to help you and.

[B]

Your friends find a place on the.

[A]

Beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and a soaking tub.

[B]

Expedia made to travel.

[A]

Hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast. We're in Germany.

[B]

We are using this lovely studio in Berlin, Germany. And it's so fancy in here. I really hate that I'm, like, leading with foot right now, as per usual.

[A]

So am I. I always wear these little chunkless. They're not chunk at all. They're literally flats. But I don't know why I call them that.

[B]

You also say Tony's for underwear.

[A]

I know, but like. But chunkless means like sand. These aren't a sandal. But every single time I watch this back and I'm like, oh, I just have this, like, long pointed foot.

[B]

No, the.05 in the feet. You know how I feel already. But I bought these mu Mu sneaker slides and I. The public was so enraged. The top comment was like, tani, you are leading with rich goggles. And I was like, I know. Like, they're just.

[A]

I really do love them. I just wish they had a little back on them.

[B]

I. I actively chose these. Well, they didn't have my size. They. They. You could try Sears to me. And they didn't have my size in the ones with the back. But I also saw Hallie Kate, Hali Kate core unboxing these like, a long time ago, and she was like, do I keep them? Like, I feel insane. Yada, yada. And all the comments were like, return them. And I was like, bitch, keep. Like, I love them.

[A]

No, I wanted that colorway so bad. And had they had my size, I might have bought them. But my problem with anything like that is that I'm. I'm really a speedy walker and they just will go flying down the street.

[B]

Oh, yeah, no, see, I'm glacial Pace turtle versus hair. I'm the turtle.

[A]

You have to, like, really, like, grip your toes onto any shoe like that to keep it on. Like, ugg slippers can't. If they don't have a little sling back, they're worthless to me.

[B]

No. And I step on the sling back, like, actually, like, horrible behavior. But, you know, like, I love to grip something with my toe.

[A]

I believe that just based on the color of that big toe, like, looks.

[B]

Like it's been through something that was traumatic. I also have MOA on my socks, which I'm really living for. Somebody made me these at the Berlin Show.

[A]

Those are nice. Wait, but do you want to talk about, like, what you've been through with Shopp or No?

[B]

What do you mean with shopping?

[A]

Just like what. Like what you've done since we've been here.

[B]

Well, I have a haul coming soon on my channel where I really unpack that I will now be selling extreme whole. Probably soon. I'm sorry. That was just a joke. Lovely Berlin studio. Well, I discovered this mall in Paris.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I wanted to make a tik tok about it, but it just somehow got lost in translation that you put me onto. And truly, like, I can't blame you. You know what I mean? Because at the end of the day, you told me that you had a great experience somewhere and that I should go. That's a nice thing to do, theoretically. It's called Galleries Lafayette in Paris. And it's like, I've never seen anything like it. I feel like when you're a little kid and you're, like, dreaming of going to the mall overnight, or like you're a little girl and you're dreaming of going shopping, like, this is Final Boss. I felt like a video game character. It's beautiful architecture. 5, 000 stores. And I.

[A]

It is. It's. It's essentially like one giant department store with, like, all luxury everything, but it's literally six stories tall. And Tana, when I tell you, I told her that first day, she spent eight hours there that first day, went back the next day, spent another six, went back the next day and spent another six. Like, when I tell you she lost all of Paris to this mall. Thank God. It's beautiful inside.

[B]

It's so beautiful. The rooftop has a view of all of Paris. I'm talking about the rooftop. Like, I wasn't in Miu Miu for nine hours, but it was just. And I've been to Paris. I've done a lot in Paris. And when I discovered this place, there was no going back. And then they get you with the tax return. Like, knowing that everything I buy, I get 12 back on. I'm like, well, let me just do it now. Like, I was, you know, I was gonna say some crazy.

[A]

You really did your big one. But I really love all your purchases.

[B]

I had such a. Shopping's my favorite thing in the world. Like, I always say, like, to McCoy, I'm like, you're surfing is my shopping. And I felt like. Like, Carrie Bradshaw would have had the best day of her life.

[A]

Carrie Bradshaw would. No, she wouldn't have done that.

[B]

I feel like Miranda could Maybe get behind the functionality of these.

[A]

No, Miranda would never spend more than 600 on a sneaker. She wouldn't spend 200. You're so sweater. She's practical and she's a genius. She's a lawyer. She can afford it.

[B]

That's actually kind of a genius way to approach shopping. Like, if no character in Sex and the City would buy this, I shouldn't buy it.

[A]

I know. I do that with just a lot of people that I, like, really, like, look up to. I'll be like, will she wear this? No.

[B]

Halle Kate core. I love that you are giving Charlotte today.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

So, I mean, we've been on tour, and it has been so crazy. Naming this tour International Disaster was the biggest fucking slay.

[A]

We just knew. We knew beforehand, and, boy, were we right.

[B]

And it's. The shows have been going phenomenally, and I just want to say the energy over here, it's so cool. Like, every city. City.

[A]

You lost me. I don't know.

[B]

Where are we? Germany.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Is so different. Like, the. The vibe of the crowd and the social etiquettes and the people are. It's so different in every place, and it's such a privilege and so cool. Everything other than the shows has been going so disastrously wrong, which is just, like, so on brand.

[A]

But really, I feel like I've. It's been amazing. I feel like everything's been perfect.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

That heart attack you had.

[B]

And let's. We'll get. We'll get to my heart attack, but we have to start with the plane. I just feel like that set the tone so hard. It just set the tone so hard. And it's just. I. It's such a classic case of what always happens to us. You and I can be on the same wavelength so hard and loving each other so much, and then there will be some outside factor pitting us against each other to oblivion. And it's almost like we. We failed before we even started. You know what I mean? And this is always happening.

[A]

Well, so what had happened was we. Well, I got a call from Tana's assistant, and she was like, hey, we just sat down at PF Changs. And I was like, we're boarding right now. We are boarding right now.

[B]

We weren't boarding yet.

[A]

No, no, we were. I was. I was. I was boarding. We were boarding. So I was like, probably not a smart idea to sit down at PF Changs, but, like, nobody.

[B]

Whatever those lettuce cups.

[A]

We're sitting on the plane and they come up to me and my boyfriend and they're like, hey, is the rest of your party almost here? Like, we're about to close the doors. And I'm like, what? Like, what do you mean? And they're like freaking out. They're like, yeah, we're closing the doors right now. Like, I start like crying. It's this whole drama. And the pilots there, there's like these two really mean flight attendants who were just saying like, like, what do you want us to do? Like, there's nothing we can do. The gates close. Like, sorry, they have to like.

[B]

And listen to me right now. That is all so valid, right? If, if it were the time that the gates are supposed to close, there is nothing they can do and people need to be on the flight. Okay? But here I am walking through lax. Mind you, I'm not running. I have no sense of urgency because my printed paper with text on it. And mind you, these, it's the same on the screens as well. Like I'm following up with the screens. I don't want to miss this flight. Imagine I missed our first flight to Oslo, Norway. I would be 70 with tennis balls on my walker and you would be cooking me for it.

[A]

Like, never let you live it down.

[B]

I would never ever, ever, ever, ever. I don't, I don't want to go through that, right? I'm at LAX so early and I'm looking at my boarding pass and it says I forget the time but like 4:30. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I'm like walking, you know, look, taking in the sights. I'm not running. I stop and get a water, you know what I mean? I decide to opt out of PF Changs to be conscious of time. I instead go to KFC to get a famous bowl. Okay? Love that bowl. I love corn. And I get my bowl and it's, you know, it says 4:30, boarding closes. And I'm on my way to boarding and it's like 4:10. And I'm walking on over there and then I get a call from Brooke and she's like, they're closing in five minutes. And I'm far as like, lax. Tom Bradley is huge.

[A]

Yeah, they told us too. Like, hey, just so you know, it's going to be a 20 minute walk to your gate.

[B]

Like get told us that obviously. And so then obviously I'm crying, Paige is crying, everyone's crying because we're like, oh my God, we're going to. And it's, mind you, it's 4:15. I'm like, what do you mean? They close at 4:30. Like it closes at 4:30. I don't understand. And we're all running. Moa's walking too. And I'm like getting pissed as that he's walking because I'm like, do you not sense the urgency? Do you not see the stress? We get to the gate and I'm not kidding you, I haven't ran like that. I've never ran like that, actually. I've never ran like, I couldn't have.

[A]

Ran like that in those shoes at all, okay? There would have been one.

[B]

My backless sneaker. I'm Usain Bolt in this airport. I get to the gate and it's like, I just, I look it, you know what I mean? Like, I'm wheezing and I'm sweating and I'm crying. I'm all the things. And the flight attendant or like the person at the gate, the person who scans your is just cackling at me, like actually laughing at me. And you just know in that moment too, it's like you.

[A]

Yeah, like, hello.

[B]

Because it's like, why the are you laughing at me? This isn't funny. Like, this isn't funny at all. And mind you, they've like spun you like a little Chihuahua on the plane. Like, if someone's always doing this though, getting you riled up.

[A]

I wasn't mad, but it was like, you know, it was this one specific flight attendant and I was like being rude back to her because the way that she was talking, like, was so crazy. I'm like, first of all, like, what? I'm not a parent. Like, what am I supposed to do about people that aren't on the flight? And she was being so crazy. Like, I don't know what to tell you. It's closed. It says very clear as day, blah, blah, but swear to God, Tana shows me her boarding pass and I was ready to think she was late, you know, I was ready.

[B]

And imagine I was just like a negligent asshole who missed my flight for a KFC famous bull. Like, I'm pissed that this is even. It's one thing if it's a flight to Vegas. Okay, I'm not missing a flight to Oslo, Norway for some good ass corn.

[A]

I know, but it was just, it was pretty crazy. After all of this, you were in the right. Like, it definitely, like, it was an actual like misunderstanding. The pilot authority on her boarding pass. Yeah, the pilot came to me and he was like, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. Like it was a whole Mistake, whatever. But when I had just gone through that, I'm sweating tears, still running down my face, and I see this pull a famous bowl out of her bag.

[B]

No, it's. I mean, I completely understand. Had I. You know what I mean, Been getting a famous bowl in the final minutes, but it's like, even. And the pilot was just like, I'm so sorry. Like, this never happens. Boarding was closed way too early. Like, we sent out a message, we shouldn't have all this.

[A]

You were just the only ones who weren't on the plane yet. So they were like, let's just get this show on the road.

[B]

You know, I ever heard of 420, like, 10 minutes before. I just. And I'm not a. I'm not an early border, you know, I hate to hurry up and wait. Like, I am the person who kind of boards closer to the end. Like, I just don't like to, like, sit on the plane and twiddle, you know? And it's just like. And when I say riled you up, I don't mean angry. I almost mean, like, frantic. Like, stress just stressing you out.

[A]

Well, yeah. God, I was like. I was sitting there all peaceful. I'd already turned my TV on. I put my little eye mask on. Masks on. And all of a sudden, this is yelling at me.

[B]

And it's just so unfair. Like, once again, doomed from the jump. Like, who put our reservations together? Why is this on you?

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

It's like an external mistake. And then it's like, you're gonna be mad at me because you're like, tana, how could you be so negligent? But it's like, I wasn't.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. You were definitely, like, right in this scenario. But it wasn't like, the craziest thing for me to think, like, oh, she's gonna be late to it.

[B]

Of course not. But I. You know why I think it infuriates me so much? Is because every second of every. And I'm still failing. I'm not sitting here acting like I'm perfect, but there was definitely a point in my life where I wasn't. Is cognizant the right word?

[A]

I don't know. I never know conscious. One thing about me, I never know.

[B]

The right word where I wasn't conscious of these things and I was just running on my ADHD tan a time, and I didn't care. And now I care so much. Like, I want so badly to make it better for everyone around me. And again, I'm Not. I'm. I know I'm not perfect.

[A]

No, I know what you're saying, though. You're working, you are trying a lot harder, and you're way more, like, conscious of it now. So it's frustrating to be, like, when.

[B]

External factors then put me back in the place that I once was. Like, I really am just. And it is just a shitty feeling, even if I am still up. To be, like, actively trying so hard and then just still failing. It's like, God damn it, dude. Yeah. I am so excited to see the canceled podcast live in Australia, which is why I want to give the sponsor of today's video, SeatGeek, a huge shout out. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70, 000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. So many artists are going on tour, and you can get tickets to Kendrick Lamar and Sza the Weeknd, Beyonce, Morgan Wallen, and more. I love using SeatGeek because I love attending a live show. I'm seeing the Fray and Landon Barker later this fall, and I'm so excited. I got my tickets on SeatGeek. SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good and red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And you know I came through for you guys. You can use code canceled 2025 for 10 off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10 off any tickets with promo code canceled 2025. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek, for sponsoring today's episode of the canceled podcast.

[A]

Did you see that clip is going viral right now of. Of you on your MTV show.

[B]

Natalie trying to wake me? Yeah, dude, She's. It's. It's so funny because Natalie, we know Natalie and we love her. And she, like, posted it on her story the other day. I know.

[A]

I thought that was so funny.

[B]

And she was like, this was just the best time of our life. Like, first digital show that MTV ever did. Like, has the most positive outlook on it. And I'm like, natalie, you deserve workers compensation.

[A]

Like, it was a rough time, Honestly, dude.

[B]

I mean, I always say I want to make a YouTube video fully reacting to the entire MTV show, because I don't remember it, but like, having it go viral once again is just. It deserves all of the virality in the world because who. That girl was such a mess. Problem child, drug addict, depressed, like, all of the things. And obviously that makes for, like, good reality television, but it is the bane of my existence. And the fact that it is just so documented and edited, obviously, as well. You know, like, everything is just kind of edited to be fluffed to be even worse than it already was. And. Oh, my God, we. We could. We should react to it at some point, but I just. Oh, my God, it's. Once every, like, year and a half, those clips start going viral, and I'm pressing not interested. Like, my life depends on it, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, now I feel like a reality show would be so fun because, like, there's dramas, but they're sillier and whatnot, and I'm just mentally healthier. That was a crazy time.

[A]

I would love to do a reality show. You know, my obsession with reality television. You saw Jojo Si was on Big Brother. Okay, I think we've talked about it a little bit, but there's some.

[B]

Well, because it started off with her very. The right. And Mickey Rourke was being crazy to her, right? And saying, I'm. I'm gonna turn you straight. And everyone was like, what? Who the says that? Whatever. Yeah. But now he did end up getting.

[A]

Kicked out of the house, I think. I. I haven't been watching it, but obviously I've been following all the drama. And the new drama is that they're like, she was, like, cheating on her partner in the house. Who she's cheating with is a man, and she's obviously, like, come out as a lesbian. Like, everyone knows Jojo, see, was a lesbian.

[B]

But then she took it back and said, I'm queer now.

[A]

But. Yeah. So then randomly in the house, she was like, by the way, like, she didn't take it back, but she just said, look, I don't identify as a lesbian. Like, I just identify as queer. But she's, like, really, like, crossing the line, in my opinion, and I think everyone else's opinion with this guy.

[B]

For.

[A]

It's like, for somebody who has a partner, like, if. I'm sorry, if my boyfriend's in there, like, snuggled up with some girl, snuggling. Oh, they're snuggling. They're, like, kissing. Like, not, like. They're not, like, making out, but, like, kissing each other on the head and, like, holding hands and everywhere. They sleep in the same bed every night. Like, it's definitely, like, very Inappropriate.

[B]

But sleep in the same bed.

[A]

I guess it's inappropriate. It's fine. Like, if you. If you think, like, oh, well, she's a lesbian. And, like, obviously she's not interested. But then randomly, she was like, no, actually, I'm queer. So everyone's like, so do you like him or not?

[B]

Yeah. Like, the timing of it all. But also, if I was just her partner, I would be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lighting. I would be committing arson on the Big Brother house. Yeah.

[A]

It was a whole thing. And so then she got out of the house and they met. Like, her partner, like, flew to see her and, like, went to the after party, the Big Brother after party with her and stuff. And then Jojo broke up. Like, they broke up at the after party, and it was like, this huge drama. And, like, I don't know. It's just like, jojo, have you learned nothing?

[B]

It's crazy that at the time where she had her face on blenders and bows and stuff, like, that felt like this ceiling of, like. And now it's almost like looking back at that time, like, it was so simple. Like, what do you mean? That's, like, just diabolical.

[A]

I know. And then she, like, she shaded her partner for, like, asking for a business class flight home, but. I'm so sorry. If you cheat on me, you better.

[B]

Fucking fly live on Big Brother. I want the emirates pod home 100%.

[A]

Like, I don't think that was, like, a crazy ask at all. Especially when Jojo's, like, worth hundreds of millions of dollars. You just, like, put me through hell and publicly embarrass me to the highest extent. And now you to send me economy back home. Fudge you.

[B]

And if you're going to, like, narcissistically abuse me, at least let me reap the benefits, right? Yeah, right.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Brutal. That's. Who's the partner?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Damn. That's just. That's just so crazy. That is especially, like, truly, like, think about how much more people could probably get away with on so many other shows. Like, Big Brothers. Like, live cameras 24 7. Like, what the is.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's the thing. And 90 of it wasn't actually on the show, but rather on the Big Brother. Like, you know how you can always watch the live stream?

[B]

Oh, my God. Imagine being at home having so much anxiety, like, tuning into the cameras.

[A]

Yeah. And that. Imagine that, like, Imagine, like, Mo is on a show like that, and you can tap in at any time to see where he is. You could See him in the bathroom, in the shower, anywhere he goes.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And he's just.

[B]

Well, that's not my dream. I had a dream last night that he was cheating on me with a named Gabby.

[A]

Okay, who the hell is Gabby?

[B]

And I came and I asked you, and then you were like, yes, he's cheating on you. And so I hired a private investigator in my dream, and then I had the private investigator take all these photos of cheating, and then I gave him a booklet of all the photos of him cheating on his birthday in front of all of his friends. And honestly, that is probably what I would do. Do, But I don't think he would do that.

[A]

Well, I know that he wouldn't do that, but I think about it sometimes, and I'm like, I can't believe there was ever a time where we were in relationships where we were like, oh, this person could cheat on me, because, like, I would never put myself through that ever again.

[B]

But it's almost scarier, I think. I think it's weirdly. Being with someone that, you know could cheat on you is kind of weirdly. You're doing it psychologically to be in more control because you're like, well, I'm aware of this, so I know, and I know the capacity of how much I can get hurt. Whereas when you're dating someone that you like, absolutely, like. Like, no. And don't think would. It's almost scarier because then you're falling fully, and then if they were to do anything, it's like the pain is so much worse.

[A]

Yeah, I agree with that. I guess if, like, something were to happen in relation in my relationship now, I would lose it because I would just be so unprepared for it. Every other relationship I've been in, I.

[B]

I'm not like ducks in a row.

[A]

Well, I'm just like, I hate this person. Like, realistically, like, I hate this person and, like, love him, but I hate him.

[B]

And just like, I have, like, plan A, B, C, and D for when things go awry. Like, I don't have that with.

[A]

Or sometimes when things don't go awry.

[B]

Yeah, 100%. That is wild.

[A]

Oh, I was gonna say, didn't we almost hire a private investigator one time? I was gonna ask you, what were we doing that for?

[B]

Wait, why do I think it was for. And I could be making this up, but when I just look back at the, like, Rolodex of, I guess, all the reasons we could hire a private investigator, my mind goes to the person who was Secretly recording us.

[A]

My mind goes to my boyfriend who killed his family.

[B]

Yeah, it's a toss up really.

[A]

I think we were trying to find his mom. I think you told me you would pay for it and I was like, perfect.

[B]

That is why. But I think both have. I think we wanted a private investigator in both cases. This, what a cool job. I would love that. I'm just so nosy.

[A]

Imagine I would be so shitty at it though. I can't find anything.

[B]

I'd be like cackling and vaping. Like, nothing is private about me. I'd just be an investigator.

[A]

I'm not like that. You know how everyone's like, God, I give me, you know, an Adderall in five minutes and I can find his whole family. Like, I really am not good at that. I can find things that I think that I know and I'm always wrong.

[B]

I'm kind of good at it. But I've retired fully. Like, I did enough of that in the early years of my dating history. I get that. That we also didn't talk about how we almost fought a 70 year old man on the plane.

[A]

Oh, okay. So I'm sorry. Like this whole huge drama happens on the plane where like, it's. It's this huge, like obviously like hubbub. Everybody's talking. Like, we're all like, oh my God, I can't believe this happened. This is such a misunderstanding. We're looking at the boarding pass and, and we're having like a little bit of commotion about it, but it's a quiet commotion because I am someone who is very aware of my surroundings.

[B]

That's the thing is if I were telling this story, you would have to take it with a grain of salt. But Brooke, Amber is. You are on public library mode at all times.

[A]

Well, I am. I'm hyper aware of like the people around me. I'm never going to be like so obnoxious or loud because I'm like, you know, I'm cognizant of that. And like we're talking, which is talking about this, by the way, where our seats are next to each other. So we're literally just talking to each other and this guy turns up or stands up, turns around and literally goes, can you guys shut the up? Literally. He's like this old man and he's like, you need to be aware of who's around you. Like, quiet down. And in my head, like normally I would be like, oh my God, yes, sir, of course. I'm so sorry, but. But we have not so much as close the door of the plane yet we are on the tarmac. We have not left.

[B]

Like, yeah, what if I was on the phone with my baby, right?

[A]

Or like lights are on, like everybody's still moving around, like shuffling, putting their bags away. I literally looked at this, man. I go, sir, we are respectfully on the tarmac. I'm going to talk as loud as I fucking want.

[B]

And also, truly, like, I think if I were telling this story, like, nobody would believe me. And honestly, rightfully so. Digital footprint, there's a million reasons why not to believe me. But you are so, like just aware of that and good. And therefore, by association, when I'm with you, I, I meet your level, you know, and we really were just chatting.

[A]

And I hate, I hate when I'm like, I'm, I know I'm doing the right thing and someone accuses me of doing the wrong thing or like something, you know, like, well, and just we're.

[B]

On the tarmac, like we literally all just went through like hell. Like, like three people were just crying, you know what I mean? And it's like, hey, that was crazy. Let's discuss it. And again, yeah, we're next to each other, so we're very much just talking to each other on some next to each other. And this old ass decrepit man turns around and, and shut the up is also crazy in his little British.

[A]

I mean, he probably didn't say shut the up, but that's what we heard.

[B]

I am like, no, he said no.

[A]

He said like, like maybe like it was really rude. It was very like, be quiet. There's people around you like, shut, like shut up essentially. And so shut the up is what he said with his words.

[B]

He also was just British. And I'm like, I just know that the fuck up. I always just wonder, you know, how I feel. I'm like, I'm wondering if we were British if you would have told us to shut up. And maybe I'm completely wrong for that. Whatever. It's also just so interesting that if like I was on a flight to Tampa, Florida and like a Southern man turned around and said that to me, I would have fought him on the tarmac really bad, baby. Alabama barker style. I would have fought that man on the tarmac if he was like a southern man and we were flying within the States. But I am just so aware that, that us being two American girls on this, that we're not winning this battle. You know what I mean? We're just so not winning this battle. So we eat It. We shut up, right? And then we are all in the air probably for about like eight hours, right? And I'm just now finally going to sleep, okay? I've been playing good sorting Match three for six hours. Obsessed. Seriously, if you want to sponsor me, it's. I'm obsessed. And finally I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go to bed. And the plane is dark, and mostly everybody in the first class cabin is asleep, okay? And so I lay down and I'm about to go to sleep, and I'm literally dozing off. And he stands up and he turns around and he's like, can you stop kicking the back of my seat? And he's like, yelling. And mind you, okay, the feet go in the pod, right? The feet go straight in the pod.

[A]

And like a hole for your feet.

[B]

Next next to the hole for the feet. That. My feet are very much in their hole. Okay? There's like a wall, right? And he's accusing me of kicking this wall. And I'm like, what kind of banshee behavior? Even. Even Tina in her most blacked out day, my feet are in the pot. I'm not kicking this wall, okay? And he's yelling and he's getting in my face. So then Makoa stands up, and Makoa starts, like, it's in between us because this man is reaching over his pod, yelling in my face, accusing me of kicking this wall. And I'm like, what do you mean? And so Moko was like, I don't think she was doing that. Like, I'm so sorry that you feel this way, essentially, is what McCoy. But it very much. And Makoa's super quiet, too. So Mako was like, I'm so sorry. Like, don't worry. Like, we're all just going to sleep. Like, it's all right. Like, I. I think this has to be a misunderstanding because McCall is also seeing me. Like, I'm not kicking this wall.

[A]

Wall. I would have been.

[B]

Then he goes over the seat, okay? And again, this wall is a part of my pod, all right? And he starts. He's yelling now in Makoa's face, and he's like, essentially he's saying, like, get your girl to stop. Like, get your woman to stop.

[A]

Like, which is just like, he's your handler or something.

[B]

And he starts banging on my side, my pod, as he's yelling. And I'm, like, scared at this point because it's like everyone around is asleep. No flight attendants here. Obviously, Nicole is not going to let anything happen to me. But I'm just. Man is like, hitting my. And, like, yelling at Moa, yelling at me. If Moa wasn't here, he would be yelling in my face. So I'm just like, I'm scared, right? He stops yelling. And I'm. I'm not really apologizing either, because I'm like, I wasn't doing that. And I know for a fact I wasn't doing that. I was about to doze off into REM Like, I'm sorry that you have something.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I was going to say Parkinson's. It's like, you don't need to say that. But, like, he was old, but you're just. I don't know if you had a night terror. Like, you're. You're assuming that I'm doing this, and I didn't fucking do it. So then he lays down. Makoa ends up laying down. And now I'm laying there, my heart's beating out of my chest. Like, I'm scared. And I'm also scared that I'm like, go back to sleep and this is going to happen again. And I'm scared of this man. And I just can't sleep for, like an hour. So I get up, and there are two female flight attendants. And. And this. Think about this. Like, I really debate on this for, like, 20 minutes. I'm like, do I even say anything? Like, you know, but I'm scared. That's my. My final takeaway is like, I'm scared of this man. And I go to the female flight attendants, and I'm like, hey, this man was just yelling in my face, like, yada, yada. Like, I'm just. I'm a little scared. Like, I'm scared to go back to bed. And they're like, why? Like, very much, well, what were you wearing? And they're like, well, why was he yelling? And I'm like, he thinks that I was kicking this thing. And then I can just tell that after tarmac gate, which was not our fault, like, they just don't believe.

[A]

Yeah, we've already caused too much hubbub on the plane.

[B]

Essentially, the flight attendant just hits me with a. Like, well, you should be more careful. And I'm like.

[A]

You should be more careful. And that tells you everything you need to know about this entire interaction.

[B]

No, I'll probably keep that in. That was perfect. Did you like playing around with microphone? Thank you.

[A]

That was too good.

[B]

A very big part of me felt like if I were flying in America, that that all would have. I First of all, I would have fought that man. I'm not kidding. Like these hands would know no gender. And like, I don't know, it was just crazy. It was just so wild that these two women had like zero empathy for me. And just like zero. I was like, damn. Like, you know, I. I know we're cut from different cloths. You guys are very posh, very poised. But like this man was just screaming in my face and it was just. I don't know. Then we landed. So that was kind of the start to the whole thing.

[A]

Yeah, it really set the tone. But we landed in Oslo.

[B]

Oslo is in Norway.

[A]

In Norway. No, it was so fabulous.

[B]

It was so fabulous. And I'm like starting this tour in very high spirits. Like, I'm just. I feel amazing. I'm so excited. This show, even just as we're doing it, like I'm not getting tired of it at all. Like it is. I love this show. It is so funny. I'm exposing myself to a point that I will look back one day and probably regret it. But it's really fun just, you know, exposing all of my awful escapades. And Paige is killing it. Like you're killing it. Like it's my favorite show. And so we're rehearsing it and you know, we're. So I show up to the venue. Just my goal across this tour has to. Has been to be early to everything out of spite. Truly. Like I am like I will be so on time to everything that no one can say. Okay. And so we get to the venue. The show starts at what, seven?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like how?

[A]

Well, meet and greet is usually at 5:30 and we. But this day was like a different situation cuz we hadn't done the show yet so we had to do like a dress rehearsal. So we had to be there at literally like 2:30pm this day. And Tana was downstairs at 2:25, early as ever. It was amazing.

[B]

Skipping. Okay. Vibes are so high. And we get to the stage and we start rehearsing and I'm. I'm like in tears laughing at the stories as well. Like I'm cackling. We're having the best time. And all of a sudden I'm laughing so hard at own story. Honestly, God had to like humble the out of me and I feel a pop. Like, you know when you crack your back like a pop like that in my heart. Okay. Like right here. Pop. And I'm like, oh my God. What? Ow. Okay. And at first I'm like, okay, whatever, you know, Something was relocating the scoliosis. The scoliosis thing. And then all of a sudden, I'm in level 10. Pain in my heart, which is just like. I feel like lots of other pain is, like, so much less scary, you know? Cause it's like, oh, my Wrist hurts. Level 10, okay? It's still my wrist. And it's like. It's very much like my beating heart hurts this much. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I'm trying to continue to rehearse, and then eventually it gets so bad that I can't, like, breathe or talk. And I'm like, hello, what's happening to me? And it's just. It hurt more when I would breathe in and more when I would, like, breathe out. So I'm like, I can't even breathe, and I'm freaking the fuck out, and I have to stop rehearsing. And I go back to the green room, and I'm just, like, trying to be Zen and chill and, like, hope it'll go away. And it's just getting worse and worse. And now I'm having a panic attack because I'm like, am I having a heart attack? And, like, I just. Like, I can't feel my feet. And I'm like, what. What's going on there? My arms are a little tingly, like, all these things. And I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? And then we get a medic to come in, but this man is just not a medic. I cannot stress that enough. Like, he had to have been the bartender from downstairs at the bar. Like, he didn't have so much as a stethoscope. He's like, asking Mako, take my pulse. He doesn't, like, know what's going on. He's like, yeah, you may be having a heart attack, or this may just be something with your lung. Like, he doesn't know what's happening. And then we're trying to have other people help, but no one really speaks English. So then I'm freaking out, too, just because I think that feeling like you're having a heart attack in a place that you've never been before is so much scarier. And then I start getting in, like. Like, I can't talk. So I'm like, oh, my God, do we have to cancel our first show? And I've never canceled the show for reasons that that had to do with me. Like, even when I was diarrhea in water in Santa Barbara, like, I was running off the stage every 10 minutes. Like, I'm not. But I couldn't talk. It's like, oh my God. And just freaking out. I call my doctor, he tells me to go to the hospital. So then I go to a Norwegian hospital. And that just was crazy. A lot of the girls in the Norwegian hospital, though, the nurses watched the canceled podcast, so they were being like, really fun with me, like, through it. Also, my entire hospital visit was $350.

[A]

Yeah, that's like just.

[B]

It was so clean. It was like, so. Such a nice hospital. Honestly. I was like, damn, slay. And I get an ekg. Mokoa's so fed up because my priorities are so out of whack. I like, can't unscrew my Cartier bracelet to get the EKG properly. I'm worried it's taking my spray tan off. I'm asking the nurse when I can hit my vape. If I get cleared.

[A]

No, that's what I. You said that in the two you were going, it's a level 10 pain. It's a level 10 pain. And then she goes, can I hit my vape? I was like, no.

[B]

And that is gonna bring me to my next topic, which is addiction. But I get the EKG and come to find out I pulled a muscle over my heart, which feels like you're having a heart attack, which is so awesome. So I've just, I'm just now like getting better and then. But I don't. I'm not 100 convinced it's that. I think it might be some lung issues because I have just been like, like, I think it would be your.

[A]

Lung though, if you're feeling it, like appear because your lungs are like low key, like way back there.

[B]

I know, but I was feeling it through my back. And we had RSV before we left.

[A]

Yeah, I still have it.

[B]

Me too. And I'm just like. I've taken antibiotics. It's not going away. I don't. I don't know what the is wrong with me. Like something and that has. Is leading me to realizing how bad this is for me. Me. Well, yeah, I know, dude. I know, I know. That's the thing is it's so sad and pathetic to be so addicted to something that like, does nothing. At least in like the times of my life. I was addicted to alcohol or benzos. Like, they were for sure doing something.

[A]

Doing something crazy.

[B]

Like I'm smoking a mini banana flavored television and it's doing nothing for me.

[A]

And it is doing something. It's just doing something very bad.

[B]

And I'm sitting in the hospital genuinely, like, awaiting to get cleared with the only mindset of, like, I need to hit my vape. And, like, that's so pathetic. And obviously this is a lung issue, which I've had a million of in my life. Like, how pathetic that you can't stop doing this thing.

[A]

But it's not pathetic. It's addiction. That's just, like, the name of the game. But we gotta get something else in order. You gotta get addicted to something good.

[B]

I know. And it's just. It's wild too, because. Because obviously kicking benzo addiction and kicking alcohol addiction at their peaks in my life were the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I can genuinely say this is. I can't even get to the withdrawal period. I can't even, like.

[A]

Do you think some element of that is, like, the fact that it doesn't feel like it's as bad or feel like you have, like, as big of a need to quit as the other things?

[B]

Because, like, I guess that's true. The other things were like, I'm gonna die and, like, ruining my life in that sense. More long term. Yeah.

[A]

In my head, it's almost like. Feels like a diet where it's like, okay, like, I'm not gonna die If I eat McDonald's. Yes.

[B]

And it is that the other day I tried not to vape for, like, five hours. And I started counting in my head how many times I thought about hitting the vape. And I was in, like, the hundreds. And I was like, damn. Like, that's so crazy. Life stat wise. If at the end of my life, I spent 10 of my life thinking about the vape.

[A]

Yeah, that's rough. When have you ever tried one of the things like that? Like ripples or whatever, like vapor. You should try that.

[B]

Yeah, I need to. I'm also. People, like, swear up and down Alan Carr's, like, books and methods. Like, he wrote, like, the easy way to stop smoking and the easy way to stop vaping. And so many people. So many people. Even Nikki Glazer. I saw a clip of her talking about this on who Said that?

[A]

Joe Rogan, someone told me that got hypnotized.

[B]

Chelsea Handler got hypnotized.

[A]

Yeah. To stop smoking, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Try that. I watched this movie called Hypnotic Stop smoking Beyond Time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Stop smoking. Oh, my God.

[B]

Do anything to be in that hypnotherapy session. You'd have me, right?

[A]

But I'm going to do it while you're a student.

[B]

Sleep. Yeah, you should. You probably could. I'm out cold. But like, yeah, I'm gonna read the Alan Carr books. I'm definitely. I will get hypnotized at this point. I'm just like, how, like, right now it's dead and it's all I'm thinking about.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

It's just.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's rough and it's gross and honestly, it's. You're so much prettier without it. It's probably making your. It's probably making you uglier.

[B]

I mean, it's quite literally aging me. It is. It is just like.

[A]

No, I just. Yeah, it just. There's no way. And there's also, I don't think very many, like, long term studies on what vaping does to you because, like, obviously we can study and everyone thinks vaping is better than smoking. But, like, in a lot of ways it's not. Because a cigarette, at least you have to go outside to smoke it. Like a vape. You can just all day long just rip and rip and rip.

[B]

I have a lot of friends who did that, just like dialed back their nicotine by switching to cigarettes because then at least they have to go outside. I just don't like cigarettes.

[A]

But, like, let's not do any of that. We don't need you smoking cigarettes.

[B]

Yeah, at least it's more of like a.

[A]

Have you ever been a smoker? Like a smoke. A cigarette smoke smoker?

[B]

Yes. But it was during, like the peak of my, like, like just alcohol, Xanax, everything. And my etiquette was just really bad. Like even I. There was a time in New York City where I tried to light a cigarette in an Uber and that was the day I quit.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Yeah. Because he kicked us out when we were on the side of the road and I was like, yeah, this isn't for me.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We haven't talked at all about, like, the places that we've been though. Maybe because we. Maybe because you weren't there.

[B]

Well, everyone is just so mean to me. What do you mean? Like, I like to do things on my own schedule. And it is funny. Even the Internet's perception of me. Like, I'll see tick tocks of you, you three. And all the top comments are like, Tana is asleep. And it's like, God forbid I watch one of the. And review a Patreon in my room. Like, God forbid. I'm. I really have. I've been getting up early. I just. Moko and I have been on like our own program and I ended up in Ireland having to deal with a lot of internal work drama that I'm not gonna podcast about. But it was hell on earth trying to figure it out, and that took an entire day. And then everyone's just coming at me like, I'm literally a sloth, and I hate my friends, and I hate these beautiful places, and it's like, I have other things to do.

[A]

No, it's not that. I just noticed it wasn't a priority of yours, and it's fine. But my priority was editing the canceled Patreon. No, that's not true. You spent 24 consecutive hours in the Paris mall. Like, no air, but it's beautiful.

[B]

It has a stained glass ceiling. I also was. No, it. It's beautiful. Look it up.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It's gorgeous. I also was making a vlog, and that's, like, what I wanted to do with my day, you know? I know.

[A]

I don't know why you're getting so defensive. I'm just saying because I've been getting.

[B]

So much internal hate for me being.

[A]

On my own program because, like, we just. Do you want to. We want you to see it. And you kept saying, what got me was you were like, God, I just. I wish I had time to walk around. And I'm like, you had.

[B]

So I've been doing a lot of other things. Like, genuinely, I have. I've also been to Paris a thousand times. Like, I've seen the Louvre. I've seen the Arc de Triumph.

[A]

I know, but we wanted you in house on the cliffs with us.

[B]

I was working on that internal, like, all day in Ireland, and I was so sad. I was crying about it. Like, I wanted. I love Ireland. I wanted to be roaming around so bad, but, like, people had to get paid and flights had to get booked, and everybody needs something from me, you know? And that's the God honest truth.

[A]

I know, but see that face? Yeah. Because I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[B]

Like, you know, you literally know that I had to do all of that.

[A]

I know, but I know that you're like, well, God forbid I have to watch a Patreon episode. Our Patreon episodes, by the way, are one hour long, and we have been out of the country for two and a half weeks.

[B]

That took four hours of my day. I've been talking to Devin every single day about, like, the structure of these. When the Alex Warren episode comes out, the Amar camera angle, it's a unique.

[A]

Situation for me because I've never been to Europe, so I'm like, Obviously, I want to be outside all the time, but I do.

[B]

But I also. I do. Okay, there is. Here's the thing. I don't want to be outside all of the time. I would love to be outside half of the time. And a lot of things have come up where, like, I end up having to do other things that is kind of fudge on me. In that sense, I could perhaps sit.

[A]

In the park and watch a Patreon.

[B]

My laptop from the park. That's just not who I am. But, like, in Paris, I love Paris. We had five. I did so much. I went to my favorite restaurant. I went under the Eiffel with Makoa. I walked around. I went to vintage stores around the hotel.

[A]

I'm just giving you a lifetime.

[B]

No, I'm not giving you a hard time.

[A]

And trust me, it's totally fine because I've been having the most. The most fun with my girlfriend Paige.

[B]

And, like, listen to me. Like, I. I will join you guys. Like, seriously, Ireland was chalked because of all of that. And, like, I'm not gonna bring that drama to the podcast. But it was awful. It was the worst day ever and I had to do it. And.

[A]

Okay, fine. Tomorrow we're going in a hike.

[B]

Here's what I'm also going to say to you, though. I'm down for small things, but I also know myself and my energy.

[A]

No, honestly, you. I love you more than anything, but you would have hated house. Hated.

[B]

I think it's beautiful. And if I was on vacation, I would absolutely take the day to do that. But I don't want to do a bunch of before the show and then not have my full battery at the meet and greet and not have my full battery on stage. Like, that feels selfish to me. And I know my bag.

[A]

I charge my battery at home.

[B]

Yeah, you have. You have a much bigger battery than me when it comes to activity and all of it. You know what I mean? So, like, on the off days, of course I want to go do things, and I will when I have the time, but agree to disagree.

[A]

It's not mean.

[B]

Agree to disagree.

[A]

It's not mean. It's not me. It's just like, you can't say you had no time. You have so much time.

[B]

I've literally. I've been working on three vlogs with J Rod. Like that. That is a back and forth that takes so much time. Like, I really have been prioritizing.

[A]

I know. No, I guess you could just do it the next time you're on a world Tour.

[B]

I'm not going to put my YouTube channel on pause. Like, all of the people who, like, it's. No, I just uploaded. I'm uploading again tomorrow.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Like, I. And that takes time and effort and energy, you know, I'm not a hater.

[A]

I'm just saying.

[B]

And I'm still seeing these places in the way that I want to describe Oslo to me. Gray. No, Oslo on Instagram was very colorful.

[A]

No, it. It was so interesting, though, because Oslo, like, Oslo was the first time I've ever been like, am I in a video game?

[B]

Like, Oslo was also closed down for our national holiday, and the streets were completely empty and you couldn't go in anywhere. I was like, I'm gonna spend the day editing.

[A]

Yeah, we were there for four days.

[B]

But we were writing the show for the other days, working on the show.

[A]

I know, but you have to remember that I also have that job.

[B]

But then you clock into doing that and then leave and go explore. Like, I'm gonna, like, do it. I'm going to do my Snapchat. That takes an hour. I'm going to, like. It takes an hour of my day. You know what I mean? I'm going to fucking edit a video.

[A]

I get it. There's no shame in having different priorities. But my priority is to talk about Oslo. What the fuck are they eating and drinking? What? Every single person there looks like a Victoria's Secret model. They're all no pores, so tall, so skinny.

[B]

It's crazy. In every city. How much more? I don't want to say. More beautiful. That's fucked up.

[A]

No. Yeah. Yes.

[B]

People are just healthier. That's what it is. People are, like, radiating a glow that we do not have in America. Like the msg. No such me dry.

[A]

Personally, like, specifically Norway, though, I was like, what the hell are these people on? It felt like a movie or something.

[B]

No, it's. And I saw a little bit of Norway. You know what I mean? It was beautiful. I just. I mean, I am, like, being very defensive on this because I feel like I get bullied for a set of things, and some are like, you know what? Bully me, haze me, make me better.

[A]

I know, because sometimes I wish you would just say, like, I didn't want.

[B]

To, but I did want to, you know? And it's like, that's not like, I don't know. I just want to be validated in the sense, like, I'm doing other things.

[A]

I think you're so hardworking. I think you are amazing at your job. I think you're the best, literally, in the business at your particular job. I just think sometimes when you say, like, no, I couldn't, it's like, you could.

[B]

I could, but, like, yeah. Again, conserving energy is nice. I've been to Paris a lot and I still did so much in Paris. I have like an hour long movie coming out about all the things I did in Paris. In Paris and. Which I've been putting notes on with J Rod in my hotel room, God forbid. And. Yeah. And Ireland. Really?

[A]

I feel like you're getting mad at me about it. I'm like, I just got it for. But I just wanted to have some fun with you.

[B]

No, I know, I know, I know. I am like, I'm peak divided. I think it's because, like, you. You're allowed, like, three things to bully me about at a time.

[A]

What do you mean? This my main one?

[B]

It is.

[A]

This is my main one at the moment. What are the other ones?

[B]

Yeah, and see, like, that's valid. I just think this one I'm really. I am defensive about because I don't.

[A]

Want to hurt your feelings. I've been.

[B]

I've been doing things. I've been awake and doing things, but I have not been on. I've not been hiking cliffs with y' all or going to get labo boos or.

[A]

It's okay. There's only room for four of us in the car and we have our solid four.

[B]

Yes. And I can't stress that enough. I'm obsessed with it. Like, go, thrive, slay.

[A]

No, I live for it. It's just the girls. Me, B.B. paige, and Miles.

[B]

I literally was like, who's the fourth? I forgot about Miles.

[A]

No, he's having so much fun. He keeps going. That's fierce, girl.

[B]

Paige has been putting Miles on. Paige is so funny with our boyfriends.

[A]

No, she made one of the girls, Paige. He's like, God, I really underestimated Paige's, like, sense of humor.

[B]

The funniest person.

[A]

We'll sit down to breakfast. Like, this morning, like we said, we came downstairs to have a drink and first thought, he's like, where's Paige?

[B]

Oh, that's so sweet.

[A]

And I also have that thought.

[B]

Yeah. We have to get into the, The. The dynamics of this.

[A]

Yeah. She and I have been working on our relationship because we do hate each other so much.

[B]

Yeah. It's. It's so wild that the Internet. I mean, it's crazy because those edits.

[A]

I know, I know. They clip it and then they're like, look, at her eye movements. I'm like, God forbid I'm on an ssri, right? That's actually not it. Like, honestly, though, lamictal makes me make the craziest faces and people make compilations of it. Oh, my God. Wait, also, you know what? You had a lot to say about how I can't move my face, and now suddenly I'm too expressive. Which is it?

[B]

We'll never know. It is just so sad seeing you and Paige get so fucking pit against each other. And it's so wild, too, because the comments will be all one thing on the pod and then all one thing on TikTok. And it's like, you literally can't win.

[A]

Yeah. I've been trying, like, to reframe it, though, in my mind, because, like, it used to be, like, I would get so upset and it's so frustrating to, like, for people to be so. So adamant about being so wrong. But then I just, like, completely reframed it in my mind. I'm like, how funny is it for, like, that many people to just be, like, so wrong, like, and just so.

[B]

Up in arms about other people's relationships? I'm not gonna lie. There was an edit of you that I watched, and I was like, damn.

[A]

Like, what was it?

[B]

They put all of the moments together and I was like, I. Yeah, but we were.

[A]

I was, like, very deliberately doing. That was when we were having the Hailey Bieber conversation, and I was purposefully being like. Like, you discussed me. Like, that was the whole thing. That was the whole point of the thing.

[B]

And I feel like that is kind of your bit being, like, sassy.

[A]

Yeah, my bit is like, well, yeah, also just me having a different opinion. It's like, if I have, you know, the same opinion as everybody, I'm too agreeable. And I just want to be like, yeah, there's no.

[B]

There's no ass.

[A]

And then if I have a different opinion, it's like, I'm a pick me weirdo. It's like, no, actually, I just like Haley Bieber. And that's actually it.

[B]

Yeah. And that doesn't mean you don't like Selena.

[A]

No, it doesn't. I love Selena Gomez. Moral of the story is Oslo is gorgeous. We went from Oslo, like, the most calm, cool, quiet, collected place, to Paris the very next day. And, boy, was I shocked. And you know what? I think that contrast, like, affected the way I felt about Paris. But I imagine Paris so different, like, than it actually.

[B]

It's a lot of hustle and bustle. It's a very.

[A]

It's I'm. I spend 90 of the time just like worried about getting hit by a. Like a car or it is or.

[B]

So or a bike. Packed and crazy. But I like, like, thrive in places like that. I don't know why. Like, I. I love it. I feel like Paris is like European moving so quick. Paris is like European New York.

[A]

It felt very similar to New York, except for nobody understands me. So it's harder to like.

[B]

I don't know if it's because my last name is Mojo.

[A]

You are. Are you French?

[B]

No. My dad changed his last name. It's a whole thing, really. I was supposed to be Tana Grylls, remember?

[A]

I'm so happy you're not.

[B]

Tana Grills. Isn't that good.

[A]

Crazy. But you should thank him for that.

[B]

I know. Honest to God, I was. I write about it in my book and I do indeed thank him for that. He ate with.

[A]

That is a great last name. He wouldn't be the same if your last name wasn't Mo.

[B]

Tana Grills is just diabolical.

[A]

Tana Grills, like, it's like, what? Who's that other girl? Like Tay Money or something?

[B]

Yes. And we get enough comparisons. We really do. That would be. It would have been great for my rapper era, but God damn, imagine how much people hate me now if my last name was Grills. How much more people.

[A]

I just never could have been able to take you seriously. Although I like when like someone's name, like, kind of matches them. Like J.P. p. Sachs.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

You know, like, that's his real last name, but he's like this beautiful musician. Or like there's another person. Oh, Alicia Keys.

[B]

Rosamund Pike.

[A]

Who's that? Is she a gymnast? Like, what? What?

[B]

TV wonder. Oh, my God, that's funny. Oh. I have something that I just want to tell you and I'm debating saving this for the page episode because I really think this one's going to get hurt going. But I'm just going to tell you right now.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

DJ Khaled hosted Lele Pons's Nickelodeon slime themed gender reveal party. That's a real sentence.

[A]

Well, that's a mouthful. But honestly, doesn't that just feel like.

[B]

You had chat GPT make something?

[A]

Yes. So much. But also in some way, it makes complete and perfect sense.

[B]

I need to find the video and show you.

[A]

But like, what is a cute theme for a. For a baby shower? Although I don't really believe in. It was a gender reveal. I don't believe in gender reveals. Like, cut A cake with your partner.

[B]

You know, I actually do agree with that. Like, I'm everyone having to gather around, it's like, good for you, I think.

[A]

And obviously, like do whatever makes you happy. And obviously, like, I love to celebrate like the people I love and stuff. But I get, I get really guilty when I can't like attend a lot of things for somebody. And like when someone has a baby, they have to have like a baby shower, a baby reveal, another baby shower, the birth. I'm like, get over it.

[B]

I honestly, I. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. It is like a lot. But DJ Khaled hosting it, like, come on. He's like another one.

[A]

Was it a girl or boy?

[B]

It was a girl.

[A]

Oh yeah, Yeah, I love that.

[B]

For Leila. You know what I've been getting harassed about. Speaking of just this realm of things, the new Tana go brunette is when are you getting engaged?

[A]

Yeah, that's what happens. So when you're in a happy relationship, everyone just like assumes like, obviously you want to get married immediately. And I guess that does. Like, I wish that was shocks me about you because I want to get like, now that I know I'm with the person that I want to marry, marry him, like tomorrow.

[B]

I agree, but like, I don't know how to explain it. Like, it's like this is the last period of time in our life that like we're dating, you know, and like, I think that's really special. I also just think I'm looking at my plate right now and I'm imagining having to like, plan a wedding. Like, and I know some people get engaged for like three years, but even then, like, still, that's just. It's like a, a time clock that I'm like, not ready to embark on. I want to be able to like, when I'm engaged, have a lot more free time and like relish in it and like dedicate a lot of my life to planning the wedding and not just like a tenth of it. And it feels like another birthday party that I've planned all over the years and like a work obligation.

[A]

Yeah, no, that would frustrate me too if I like, if you're just not ready for it.

[B]

I don't know, I just value mine and Mokoa's relationship so much that I want to take things slowly and like, make sure they're perfect. And I swear to God, I could post right now that I lost both of my limbs and people would be like, well, how are you going to walk down the aisle now? You need to get in engaged.

[A]

I don't. I. I don't know. I just, I have to really go.

[B]

Off the other day. It's all my comments on every single video. I was like, the only engagement going up is my tick tock engagement from people commenting this.

[A]

Like, I just like, I respect you for being so patient because, like, now that I'm like, oh, my God, I obviously, like, I want to get married to you, so, like, why would we not do it 35 minutes ago?

[B]

I agree. I will say that. Like, that fufu I did with Jake Paul kind of did. Like, maybe that's scratching it, you know, it's like, oh, I got to put the dress on and I got to like, choose my bridesmaids. And I. And even just that it made me like, really realize, like, I don't know, like, there's a lot of planning that goes into even a sham, but like, let alone some fucking shit, you know, And I don't know, I'm just like, anymore.

[A]

Well, there's no rush. You could. There are people who date for like 10 years. Like, who gives a fuck?

[B]

I don't want to be one of those people, though. That's the other thing. Then I posted a video about how I don't want to get engaged and some girl was like, my boyfriend waited seven years to propose to me and it was perfect. And I was like, not too much now, like, like, that's. I don't know.

[A]

What do you think is like, the sweets? I think I heard you say the other day, like, two and a half years.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe three. Two and a half, Three years. I think that's the thing too, is it's like people are really acting like this is right around the corner.

[A]

No. By the time you get engaged, I want to be celebrating like my third anniversary.

[B]

Yeah. And I also, I like that weirdly, I don't like being like, the first to do anything ever. We know, actually. Yeah. So bless your heart, though.

[A]

I love you so much.

[B]

No, I think it's good to like, let, like, I want you to do it first and then I want to be like, wow, that was amazing.

[A]

And like, you know, we have such different though, like, I have so many people in my life who have gotten married now. I feel like the last.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

So, like, it doesn't feel like, oh, I would be the first. I feel like, oh, my God, thank God Brooke's finally getting married.

[B]

I guess that's true. A lot of my hometown friends have, but I do feel like my. A lot of my formative Years were. And, like, ideals and stuff were more formed in Los Angeles, where, like, nobody does that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, maybe that's more where, like, my head is at. I don't know, dude. I really. And, like, I also. I feel like you and Miles will do something intimate and cute and classy and, like, I want to have a Vegas wedding and a Maui wedding and, like, just all the, like, just bullshit.

[A]

Like, too many logistics.

[B]

6.

[A]

Do you know that a year ago, Teffy messaged me, and she was like, hey, like, just so you know, like, randomly, my sidekick told me to message you. Like, she felt called to tell you that you are gonna meet, like, the love of your life, like, the person that you're gonna marry this year. And then she said, like, you're gonna be so in love that you can't wait. You're gonna elope on a random Thursday with just friends and family. She said that to me so specifically. And I was with BBI at the Cheesecake Factory the day before. The night I actually found Mouse. This was, like, all. What a. Like, crazy night this was. But she sent it to me, and I was like, oh, my God. How crazy is that? And she said that people, like, when I. When I get engaged or when I get married, people are gonna think it's a shotgun wedding because I'm pregnant. But really, like, we just love each other so much. Like, we can't wait. And she told me that. And then the same person, you know that girl who always gets everything right about you, the psychic? She tagged me. Like, read my chart or something.

[B]

Like, wait, do you mean a girl online or, like, my girl.

[A]

The. Twitter. Twitter. The. The. She's like. Her name's, like, Stargirl or something on Twitter.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And she, like, predicted, like, I think a bunch of stuff about you. She predicts, like, a lot of things with celebrities and stuff. But she.

[B]

Yeah, she said I was gonna find love in Hawaii before I did. Really?

[A]

Yeah, she sent me my, like, chart, like, right after Taffy had told me all this. And it, like, specifically says, like, I'm gonna meet, like, my soulmate between the ages of 27 and 28. And I met him when I was 28.

[B]

That is so sweet. I love him so much, and I just love you guys together. I think he makes you. You. Your highest self, you know?

[A]

She's the best. And he's so funny.

[B]

I know. It's. It's been really sweet on this tour, too. Just looking back at all the times that we did have, like, 13 tattooed counterparts and.

[A]

Or just like, guys that hated me. I remember, like, obviously I had, like, the only other person I've ever like, brought on tour was, like, a guy who, first of all could not have been, like, more opposite from me. Like, everything I said and did was, like, a performance because, like, this, like, I wasn't compatible with him. So I had to become someone who was compatible with him. And that person sucked. So, like, it was just, like. It makes me literally want to throw up to think about now how I was thinking about, like, oh, my God, what is he thinking about? Like, what my friends are saying and, like, is he having a good time right now? And now I'm just like, yeah, just.

[B]

And that's so nice, too, as your friend, to get to, like, exist with you and not you for.

[A]

Yeah. Like. Like Stacy or whoever. I became Stacy.

[B]

So funny.

[A]

I love Stacy, but you know what I'm saying? Like, ew.

[B]

No, I mean, but it's. Listen, it made us all who we are. I'm learning to just hold hands with all of those versions of myself because they led me here, you know?

[A]

Yeah. I guess I just. The first time I've ever not had to think about, like, how I was acting.

[B]

And it's just nice. He loves you so much for you and it's beautiful.

[A]

That's everybody. He loves everyone with us.

[B]

And that's sweet, too. I think that whoever's with you has to. To, like, quite literally date Bibi as well. And, like, he is so good at that.

[A]

Are you kidding?

[B]

Not in, like, a weird way.

[A]

No, no. But he did for Bibi's birthday. He, like. I didn't. I didn't say anything to him or anything, but he came home with, like, cupcakes and stuff for BB and, like, put candles in him and stuff. And, like, Bibi was so, like, touched by it. She made a tick tock about it. And the amount of hate in the comments, that was literally just like. Like, kill me if my boyfriend's ever this close with my friend. Like, we were like, what the hell?

[B]

It's so. God, kill me if I have the opposite, because it's so bad. Like, yeah. You know what I mean?

[A]

We were like. I just think if you don't trust.

[B]

Your friends and you don't trust your boyfriend.

[A]

Yeah. Or to think anything could be, like, weird behavior between, like, your best friend and your boyfriend when, like, then you don't have a best friend, you don't have a boyfriend.

[B]

So true. It's so wild that a psychic predicted that.

[A]

I know. And, like, a psychic who Isn't even mine. Like she went to taffy and was like, can you tell her those are.

[B]

The crazy ones that are like, you know what I mean? Because it like really just like came.

[A]

And so specific and I'm not. Never really put a lot of thought into eloping but like I really want to elope. Like that's kind of my thing.

[B]

I think. It is so intimate and like saving the money, using it for a honeymoon, like it just makes, it makes a lot of sense for me.

[A]

It's. I think I've said this before but just the family thing. Like who am I having a wedding for? You know what I mean? And like you say to me, I.

[B]

Put it in your notes, you were like, if I have, if I have a wedding with all of my family there, I'm gonna have to buy like nine new sets of teeth.

[A]

Yeah. The amount of teeth I would have to buy to be able to have, have a functional wedding.

[B]

Cuz like you know my, like I feel you girl.

[A]

Not that anyone's like judgmental but like I don't know, you know, like I got a lot of toothless family.

[B]

Yeah. I mean it's one thing if it's you know, toothless by choice, get the London look, but it's you know. Yeah, it's a little methrony maybe.

[A]

Yeah, maybe.

[B]

You know, I had a psychic tell me that right before we left I got a reading because I was just in an interesting place wanting to know things like whatever. I had a psychic tell me that like my entire like I will discover on this tour like entirely what I want in life and like this tour is like so meaningful for me to like be on the right path. Like I will be enlightened to figure out what it is that I truly want on this tour. Oh my God. You know what I wanted to talk about was the anal joke that I made that fell on deaf ears.

[A]

It was really funny. Do you want to say.

[B]

You say no.

[A]

We were, we were at the meet and greet and obviously like a lot of times like sometimes if people will bring like their moms or something will be like I apologize in advance for like all the anal jokes we're going to make or like something along those lines.

[B]

And it's kind of like my Burlington, Vermont. It's like one of my buzzwords. Like I feel like I can easily just describe the show as anal.

[A]

But it's crazy cuz we really don't talk about anal that much.

[B]

No, I know. I guess I'm more so just saying the caliber of things being that vulgar.

[A]

Like, it's the word to describe all words. Yeah, yeah. So she said it to like this girl, and I'm not kidding, like, she didn't so much as crack a smile.

[B]

Her face like dropped, if anything, she was like. And then she was like, there was.

[A]

Like a full like six long Mississippi seconds of silence. And then Tana just like, she's like, so should we take a picture? And the girl goes, oh, I don't want a photo. At the meet and greet, like, I.

[B]

Made an anal joke to the one person who. And I'm thinking, I say that because, like, usually on our fans are pretty wild and they'll like cackle and then they'll tell us like a crazy anal joke or a crazy joke or something back. It matches the energy usually of our supporters so well. And I scared this woman, like, I'll never forget it. I'll actually never forget it.

[A]

No, it was cute. I'm sure she was just like nervous or something. But it was so funny because we looked at each other and we were.

[B]

Like, oh, man, the one person I bombed, the one person who like, wouldn't not like that. And it is because, like, at every meet and greet, usually you'll see that one really excited, elated girl has brought her friend who is above this. Better consumes better media, just doesn't know anything about this and is just supporting their friend. And I, I like, oh my God. I just, I hit the anal joke to the one supporting friend and it was, oh, my God.

[A]

I know, but it would probably not happen again.

[B]

So Trisha Paytas is about to give birth to the. The pope.

[A]

I know, I cannot believe. It's so crazy. See that? Like, just what we're talking about with weddings and stuff. Like in my head, I'm like, how on earth has she had three kids? She got married 30 minutes ago. You know what I'm saying? Like, everything, everything happens so fast. Like, or like, I guess time, like, I don't know.

[B]

Do you know that Trisha got married at a hotel that Moa was working on building and Moa was working at the same time as Trisha wedding do.

[A]

That's so interesting. I wonder how many times, like, do you ever wonder if like you and Moa have ever been in the same place and not known?

[B]

I spent hours like deep diving and I know like the exact times and days that we were the closest to each other without knowing.

[A]

That's so crazy. I love like when you see stories about that, like, or like when people are in the Backgrounds of their partner's photos. Like, 20 years prior.

[B]

Like Miranda Harrison.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes.

[B]

There was a day where I was in Maui with Bella Thorne and Mod Sun, Michael Chawortha and Ashley Schwann on a boat, and Mokoa was working at the dock. Isn't that crazy?

[A]

That's so interesting.

[B]

And here I am, like, I'm in this thrle. I'm about to date Mod Sun Solo. Like, your husband is inches from you.

[A]

Yeah. What the hell were you up to?

[B]

I just want to say thank you to everybody coming out to these shows and this international tour is like. It is just mind blowing. Like, even yesterday, like, doing a meet and greet in Berlin, Germany, and people being like, I've watched you for 10 years. I love you guys. You guys saved my life. And it's like, we have this girl who told me, like, 10 years ago she was watching my toothbrush story and she was living in Egypt and she was born in Egypt. And it's like, if you could have told that girl that someone's watching her in Egypt. Like, it's just so much more special being so far from home, but having this consistent love all over the globe. Like, it's so crazy and, yeah, it's so special.

[A]

We love you guys.

[B]

We love you so much.

[A]

Love traveling and we love going outside.

[B]

We are about to film an episode with Paige, and Brooke and Paige are gonna squash their beef, and BB's gonna come on and tell us about all of her hookups on tour and what they mean. All of them. Yeah, all of them was crazy. It's actually one story. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Do you like that girl? We love you guys so much, and we will talk to you in the next episode. Bye.

[A]

Stay tuned.

[B]

Trail.