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Brooke
Hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast. More pep in your step.
Amanda
Hello, guys.
Brooke
What's your drama?
Amanda
I don't know, man. I'm just sad. I'm like, so, no, I don't think you have to be sorry. I just like. But it's okay. I'm down to put it out there because it's a God honest truth, you know? You know, my first bone to pick, my first thing that sucks is I honestly really thought that when we filmed that episode and like, forgive me, I'm like, literally panic central over here. But when we filmed that episode where we were talking about how it's coming to a close in the fall, I genuinely, and this is just some finger off the pulse shit, thought it would make things better. You know what I mean?
Brooke
Yes, I do know what you mean.
Amanda
Obviously it just didn't. And like, the Internet is so much right now. And like, I've really been like, so off my phone in Hawaii and like, so happy. And then like the day before I had to leave, I opened my phone and like, really got on it and started thinking about the things I had to do and like, thinking about coming to do this podcast. And like, I was just like, so overwhelmingly sad. It just sucks, like, so much, I think, because everyone wants to make it this whole thing that it like, isn't. One.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
And like two. It is a very sad feeling that like, something that once made you so happy does the complete opposite of it. And I think for like so long I was like, so good at, you.
Brooke
Know, turning it on. Yeah.
Amanda
And I just like, can't anymore. And it's like, once again, it's so shitty that people, like, just make it something that it's like, so not. I saw this thing where someone was saying, like, being in something that no longer serves. You can feel like. And I didn't graduate high school, so it's a funny take, but like walking the hallways of a high school that you once went to that you're so familiar with and like, you used to love so much.
Brooke
Don't say it.
Amanda
And like, that's how it feels like coming to do this. And it's. I didn't want. I'm sorry for making this episode, this today, but it's.
Brooke
I'm sorry.
Trisha
No, I, like.
Amanda
I don't know. I think that I was looking at the embodiment of strength being, like, seeing this contract through. Right?
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
Because I. I don't want people to think that it is something to do with us. Like, it is just like.
Brooke
Although I don't even. I don't think we have to say that because it is to do with us. You know what I mean? Like, it's how we feel about our individual lives, our mental health, our friendship.
Amanda
It.
Brooke
It's everything to do with us.
Amanda
No, I know. I guess I just mean, like. But, like, yeah, people say that, like, I hope you die.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
And, like, just, like, seeing people say the most vile shit. Like, I. I think I needed that, like, stark contrast of being in Hawaii and really thinking about my life and going from peace for it to be so black and white for me. Like, now I have to come home and I have to sit on this couch and I have to talk about all these things that, like, I don't want to talk about just to, like, further a conversation to then have more, like, you know what I mean? Just like, this fucking.
Brooke
Yeah. To invite more of what you're trying to get away from. And.
Amanda
And I came to the conclusion that, like, I don't want to see this contract through. And I, like. And then I go online and I see all these edits of us, like.
Brooke
Once, just like, so, dude, the one that. You know the one.
Amanda
Yeah. Because it's like, it was that. And that is the truth, you know? And like, even today, like, Trisha was looking at me and being like, you guys had this podcast for four. Like, four years is a long time to do something and to succeed at it and to continue. And even, like, we posted talking about this, and I saw this clip, like, it just was clipped, of us saying, like, this is hard. And then all the comments are like, what? Sitting down and filming for one hour is hard. And it's like, oh, my God, get me a gun. Like, yeah, I could sit and film. Like, my ears are hot.
Brooke
It was an exact representation of exactly what we were explaining in the video, which is never that this is hard. This is the most. I mean, easy and privileged. Like, easy job in the world. Sitting down for an hour, that part of it is easy. Talking to each other, that part of it's easy. Like, I love that aspect of the job. It is mentally just so, so, so exhausting and taxing and, like, it's impossible to understand if you haven't experienced it, in my opinion. Like, it's just. I would look at it as an outsider and be like, get, like. Get it the fuck together, you know?
Amanda
And, like, I've really thought about all options and, like, I don't know, I just think to be living such a happy, peaceful life. I hate where this has gotten. There's just so much negativity and so much drama and it's just not who I want to be. And it's not what I want for either one of us. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I want the both of us to be happy. Like, so. And like, I just. I don't know. And I really do. I really think that I was like, I'm going to see this contract through.
Brooke
But it's just hard because it, you know, it extends to what. November, December.
Amanda
Yeah. And it's like I cried so hard that I threw up. Like, I literally sobbed my eyes out until I threw up. Like, thinking about, like, doing this, which I once. And like it. I just like, like if something is making you feel that way, like, it's no longer serving you and that's okay. It just is letting go of like something that is a. Was such a big part of our.
Brooke
Lives, you know, it is still that. That's just like, I feel like this is true with everything. Like we are, you know, like in our late tw. Well, like, I'll be 30, you know, in like a little over a year. Like, you're not meant to do anything for that long. You know what I mean? Like, everything, like, has a shelf life and everything you outgrow and you move on from. And like, that's how, you know, like, you transition through life. And it's not normal really for anybody to stay in a job for. I mean, of course, like, people do, but the natural progression is to move on and do more things and get better and try new things, like 100,000%. I'm really trying to look at it as a positive because of course, like, I feel the same way. Right? Like, it is.
Amanda
That's. That's what it is is I. There's a part of me that, like an old part of me that hates saying this is a positive and I hate that I'm saying this is a positive. And then people are going to be so mean and just pick it apart. And like even just seeing all the, like Sophia with an F and Alex comparison, seeing like Brianna chicken fry sit down and definitively say they do hate each other. Yeah.
Brooke
And what the. Oh my God.
Amanda
Just. And it's like. But I also even hate that these words are coming out of my mouth right now because then that's going to get clipped and then that's going to.
Brooke
Be like, I'm already so on the.
Amanda
Side done with like that, with all of that. I'm so, so, so drama free. And that's what I want to be. You know what I mean? And it's just like, unfortunately, I don't think there's any world where anything can be like, rebranded or repaired to be. To be genuinely just drama free and happy and like, at least in this, like, I mean.
Brooke
And I don't even. I don't. I'm try to be careful about saying, like, maybe later because I don't. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up for something if, like, we're not necessarily, like there in our heads. I just think, like, there's no world where like, anything just gets better like that. Like, it's gonna take like, time and stepping away.
Amanda
And I also think that it's obviously, I've always said you and I have undeniable chemistry and I'm so excited to showcase that in different ways. But I just like, yeah, this commitment and this world, the world that around canceled is just no longer for me. And I, like, I have to just like radically accept it. And I think that I'm realizing that strength for me is like putting my foot down and ending it. And like, yeah, I don't know, it does make me, you know, like, sad and nostalgic and stuff.
Brooke
Like, me too. And it sucks because, like, I hope that it's not. I feel like it sucks for the people who have always been just nothing but, like, nice and supportive and who just love this show and this, like, show has helped them and stuff. And it's like kind of like a hasty generalization to be like, canceled sucks. It's so miserable. It's so hateful. It just like, that's been like the overwhelming feeling. More so than love. I feel like it's been just.
Amanda
Yeah. And like, I.
Brooke
More of a negative experience.
Amanda
I want both of us to heal and grow. Like, you know what I mean? Continue to heal and grow and, like, be genuinely happy and be our best selves and like all of those things. And you're right. Like, I think even going on tour, like, we're going to meet so many girls who are going. It's going to be so hard to, like, look them in the face and be like, no, I'm sorry.
Brooke
Yeah, but, you know, you're not. You're not dying. I'm not dying, you know, at all.
Amanda
And like, I hope that's what I'm saying.
Brooke
I'm like a tussle with it daily.
Amanda
But that's. That's exactly what I'm saying. Like, even just the other day when I finally decided, I was like, this has to happen for mental health because it's so important, and, like, it is just so clear to me what this is, like, now doing to my mental health. And, like, your mental health and just I. E. All of it, like, just.
Brooke
It's devastating, but also exciting. You know what I mean? It's like I'm trying to look at it again as a positive, which I know for a lot of people, it's not a positive. And, like, it's not a positive for me either. It's not a positive for you, but, like, so much comes of, like. Of letting go of things. Like, especially, like, before you necessarily feel like you're 100 ready. I know you feel 100 ready. I feel a little bit more apprehensive, obviously.
Amanda
It's not that I think that I wrestled with it. You know, I was trying. Like I'm saying, I think the embodiment. I was thinking that the embodiment of strength was staying in the contract and seeing it through. And then I think that I had to realize it's. It's so easy to stay in something that, you know so well, but I no longer feel at home in this in the way that I did for so long. I just have no choice, like, you.
Brooke
Know what I mean?
Amanda
Like, just. I have no choice to be happy.
Brooke
I think that's more important than anything. And I think all the people who love you and love canceled are. I mean, they.
Amanda
And I want nothing more than to see you in something that helps your mental health, not hurts it.
Brooke
Me too.
Amanda
Like that. It just, like, it goes without saying.
Brooke
That this has been, like. I mean, this has been really hard for me for a year.
Amanda
Yeah. And I think, like, again, it was easy and we were trying and fighting for it, but, like, it is okay to accept it. And, like, to all of you, like, I don't know. I want to speak on you, I guess, and forgive me, but, like, she is a person that you can make comments on and say all these things, but to me, she's someone that I know and someone that I sat down, like, doing this for so long with and someone that I want to see, like, flourish and thrive and get out of this rat race. I also just. Yeah, I want that for us. I want to get coffee and laugh and, like, almost get back to so many ways that we were.
Brooke
And me, too. I feel like it's. To me, I. I said this on another podcast today, but it's just, like, thank you. Like, no amount of, you know, money or whatever like, there is to gain from, like, doing this. Is worth, like, what I feel like we've lost. You know what I mean? Like, as. As a. No, I don't want to say like, a consequence or like a. As a result of canceled, but, like, we don't. I just, like, you're just, like, way more important to me than this. You know what I mean?
Amanda
Yeah, I agree. And, like, I.
Brooke
And I love it. It's not about the people I love.
Amanda
No. 100%. 100%. It's just like.
Brooke
It's almost like. It's like one. It feels to me like one big. Like, it's hard. I, like, almost personify. I've told you this before, but it's like, I can't. It's hard for me to see it as, like, some people. And some people, like, I just. I go. I figure, like, this is what the common opinion is, and so that is what they think. Like, you know, you're right.
Amanda
Because at this point, I think staying in it is so untrue to myself because the only reason I would stay in it was to, like, reach a goal or form money or to, like, prove a point. Like, all of the reasons that I would stay in it are dark.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
And, like, that's. It's not authentic to me. And, like, I don't know, like, even I went from, like, kayaking in the middle of the ocean with no phone, like, laughing my balls off. We have to talk about kayaking, by the way.
Brooke
We have to talk about kayaking because. What do you mean? You got on a kayak.
Amanda
I know, but I went from that to coming inside and, like, thinking about the nature of things that I was then going to have to talk about 48 hours later and the way that I was going to feel and just.
Brooke
Well, why don't we talk about kayaking?
Amanda
No, we're going to talk about kayaking. I'm just, like. Just. Yeah. It is, like, 100% the right thing to do for the next phases of our life. That is going to be so big and beautiful, and we hope that you join us for. And I'm so grateful to both of our fans that love us and support us and just want to see us happy. Like, how special and how beautiful. I had this major, massive realization that it is the most beautiful thing in the world that we wake up every single day and we are able to choose whatever we want to do with our lives. Like, I literally got down on my knees and I thanked God that there are these people out here who love me and see me and know me for who I Am. And I'm able to do what I want with my life. And I'm so excited for, like, everything that the future holds for the both of us. And I. I mean that with everything in me. I really do. Yeah, I'm just like. It's just like that stark juxtaposition of, like, the way that you felt two.
Brooke
Days ago versus now.
Amanda
Yeah. Like, it all just hit me. I literally was, like, scream, sobbing. And like, I. That's crazy. Like, I want to be able to put this to bed so that I can look at it with nothing but the gratitude and love I have for. Canceled. Because canceled absolutely, without a doubt, changed my life. And, like, I thank you for holding me accountable so many times. And just like, all of the things, like, other person I've become across this podcast, and it was such a beautiful thing for both of us to get to share our lives in that way. And, like, we still will at other capacities, but it just. And even just, like, this tour, like, I. I love touring. Like, I did my whole life, and it wasn't until this, like, past Europe tour that the way things are were making me hate something I love so much. And it. That made me so sad, you know, like, it. It's the saddest thing in the world to, like. And now I'm hoping that knowing that this is, like, this beautiful last hurrah, that, like, we are able to go into it with such joy. And that's nothing to do with the fans. I just mean, like, everything. I'm hoping that we get to, like, just put our all out there and know that this is the last time that, like, we are being chaotic. Like, you know, I was gonna say for pay, but, like, I mean, like, that we're, you know, but this is, like, the last time that we're being chaotic. And, like, that's beautiful. And I want to take J Rod and I want to try to, like, showcase how awesome that is and, like, have a good time. And I think that with knowing that we're going to come back and close this out beautifully, it makes it more beautiful.
Brooke
It doesn't. Makes it very special. I. I wanted to tell you about a comment I saw, but I can't tell if I'm going to just hysterically sob if I say it.
Amanda
Let me see.
Brooke
It was cute.
Amanda
Also, I'm so sorry for my outfit.
Brooke
I live for your outfit.
Amanda
What are you talking about? I got my bare ass cheeks around this chair right now.
Brooke
Yeah. I apologize to Oscar. The things you've done to that chair are unforgivable yeah, I'm gonna have to buy the over. But that chair.
Amanda
I gotta buy the chair on my way out. I fear maybe I shouldn't have opened.
Brooke
The comments on this one. I don't know, something along the lines of, like, this is what it always was. Like, this was what it was supposed to be, was to show, like, this, the progression of our lives and then to, like, literally, like, that was the point.
Trisha
Oh, that actually is so beautiful. That's so beautiful. Because it's true.
Amanda
I don't know if I'll ever grow as much, slash, grow as much publicly.
Trisha
As I, like, did.
Brooke
There's too many clips of me looking like this. Like.
Amanda
Way too many.
Trisha
That's really. No, because that is so sweet. Because that's exactly what canceled was, was to, like, just show our growth and, like, be there for us. And thank you guys so much for, like, being the best friends at the end of the bed that we're having the debrief with every morning and for, like, changing our lives. Like, I just. I can't even stress it enough. And I'm really, really happy that we, like, got to do everything we got to do. And I hate the way that this shit makes me feel now. But, like, I'm so excited for the future. You were right. It was gonna make me hysterically soft.
Brooke
I know. I'm not. I'm not even kidding. I'm, like, having to think about anything else. Like, I'm not even listening to you.
Trisha
Exactly what this was, though. It was like this.
Brooke
Like, that was. That was the movie. You know what I mean? Like, we do all of these crazy things and we talk about it, and we are, like, best friends through it all, and then we go off, you.
Amanda
Know.
Trisha
And I'm really excited to go off Queen.
Brooke
Like, get on your kayak, girl.
Trisha
Get on that horse, bitch.
Brooke
No more horses.
Trisha
Get on that bald man.
Brooke
He was bald.
Amanda
Oh.
Brooke
My God.
Amanda
And Brooke, I really, like, I am excited to have other platforms, you and I, and to cross over.
Brooke
I am, too. And it's. I mean, God, we're not moving states. Like, we're not. Like, I just. I'm, like, really? What makes me sad is just, like, the people who do love it so much and depend on it and stuff, like. And, like, it helps them through things. Like, I know. I see those people and, like, those people should be so.
Amanda
And they are so much more important.
Brooke
To me than any of the negativity. I just, like, it's hard. I. I can't handle it.
Amanda
Like, I just can't And I, like, it's so hard to, like, watch. And I, like, I will, like, hold your hand and support you. But even, like, it gets to a point where I do feel like every single time I come back here and sit down and we turn these cameras on, I am, like, adding to the demise of your mental health.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
And I. That's a very, very.
Brooke
Of course you are not. But it's. It's.
Amanda
No, but there's a point where, like, I have to recognize that something is, like, just no longer serving our growth.
Brooke
It's definitely not good for my mental. None of this is good for my mental. You know what I mean? Like, I'm overwhelmingly mentally unstable with no outside influences. So adding. You know what I mean? Like, all of that in. On top of, like, what I already deal with is just, like, I can make it work sometimes, and I cannot make it work right now.
Amanda
And I want you to be able to genuinely fucking lock your phone and it not be a part of your job and a part. You know what I mean? Like, a part of your life and then come and do the things that you want to do.
Brooke
And I think, like, I don't know. I go so back and forth with it. Of course I have, like, days where I'm like, I would. I cannot see an end to this. Like, I don't know what I have to do, but, like, maybe I.
Amanda
No.
Brooke
And then I have other days where, like, like today I've had a good day. You know what I mean? Because I'm just like, I don't know. I felt like this before and I felt way better later, you know, we.
Amanda
Will absolutely, like, prevail. And, like, wow, they can't stop thinking about that. Like, it's so true. That's exactly what this comment.
Brooke
Of course, that would require me opening the comments on that video.
Amanda
No, I'm happy with what you've gathered.
Brooke
Yeah, I'm good on that, actually.
Amanda
Don't go to the bathroom because I will break your phone.
Brooke
I thought, like, I was gonna slay.
Amanda
In those comments too.
Brooke
I'm like, damn, I reposted that video. Like, what do you guys have against me?
Amanda
Seriously? No, and just. Yes, we. We got. We were going. We're going.
Brooke
But like, that.
Amanda
That really is, like, exactly what this was meant to be is this beautiful, like, scrapbook of our fud up.
Brooke
And it's so cool and it's so fun. And I think, like, that's exactly what it is. I. I get on myself sometimes. I've said this, I think before, but I've always wanted to be, like, a journaler. Like, somebody who journals and writes things down and can look back on them and stuff. And I, like, I caught myself being like. Like, I'm going to, you know, forget, like, everything I did, and then I'm like, wait. Every week, I sit down and tell, like, literally every single thing down to my hemorrhoids. I have all of this to look back on, like, literally forever. And my kids do. And not that I would ever encourage my kids to watch this podcast, but.
Amanda
Gussets and growth, man, it's cool. I don't know.
Brooke
I'm wearing my wide gusset underwear right now. Seriously.
Amanda
It really is. And it's like, it is just crazy. Like, when we were in that studio, just, like, the people that we were.
Brooke
Well, she's unrecognizable, I'll tell you that much.
Amanda
Thank you to everyone for, like, sticking beside us and, like, seeing this through.
Brooke
It has. It's been so fun. Like, I. I. More that than not. And I. It. That sucks about it, too, because it's like. It's like a relationship. You know what I mean? Like, you look back and you only see. I don't know.
Amanda
I think that lately even I, like, will, like, see these old clips of canceled.
Brooke
Please don't put it to anything. And that Medicine song ever again.
Amanda
Oh, my. That's the saddest song I. I like if I. I don't even. Saddest song ever. It's Medicine, like, literally ever.
Brooke
It was uncontrollable. Like, I didn't even have to think. It was, like, it literally just. All of a sudden, I'm hysterical. I was like, who. What was this? It was, like, hypnotism.
Amanda
Way to twist the knife. Because for so long, this, like, was our medicine. Not to be corny.
Brooke
Well, now, why the hell now it's our.
Amanda
That's not even the right chemical. What kills you?
Brooke
Formaldehyde is supposed to preserve things. Cyanide.
Amanda
Yeah. Now it's our cyanide. And, like, I just.
Brooke
That was probably misinformation, and I will not stop until the very end.
Amanda
But just, like, I don't know, when I see those old clips, like, Marianne, like, I see two really excited girls who were, like, really down for the smoke. And maybe that also comes with, like, at least for me, lack of will to live at that. Yeah. I didn't give nothing to lose. Yeah. And, like. And I know that there are going to be people in the comment section of this saying, like, you guys can talk about anything. I know, but you just close out YouTube and you open up that other app and you'll see everybody else saying so many meanie things and. But, like, I don't know. Like, I think that's what canceled, like, was for so long, and now I'm just like, I sat down by the beach and I filmed a video talking about 27 things I learned at 27 the other day. And I was like, damn. Like, I want more of this where I'm, like, on my own time alone with the camera and just get to, like, talk about some real. And not have this, like, obligation, unfortunately. And I hate that people make it again just this. Like, they make it so many things. It's not.
Brooke
It's just. And, you know, I don't know. I'm. I'm beating a dead horsebilling. We will sit and we will say this, and we will cry, and comments will still say, that's what I'm saying.
Amanda
Like, we have to get out of the rat race of the, like, we, like. I can't chase the drama and fight with it any longer, and I can't. It's not who I am any longer. This. This is not who I am. And I have to put my foot down. And it's a. It's hard. It's very, very hard. Like, because then you, like, you see the edit and you think of all the ways to fight for it and to keep it or to rebrand it or the things. But, like, the. I cried, threw up, and I had to look in the mirror after projectile vomiting and be like, this.
Brooke
What.
Amanda
What the. You know, like this. And it's like, I. This is not good for you, Dana Marie.
Brooke
I didn't. Yeah, I'm happy. I. I'm not happy. I'm. I. Like, it's bittersweet for me. It's like a very. Like, I've been just permanently on edge because, like, just the uncertainty. You know what I mean? Like, I don't really. Same, Like, I haven't. I. Not that I don't, like, want to do anything. I just don't even know what, like, I want to do next. And, like, that is, like, scary. And it's not. I'm not. You know, I have time to think about it, and I'm very fortunate. Like, canceled has given me every opportunity in the world. And, like, I can sit for a second and think about, like, what my next step is, but it's like, it's just, like, I'm a fair. Are you afraid? You know what I mean?
Amanda
Like, it's very scary. It's like throwing that. That's what it is. That's. That's also why I. This has probably gone on longer than like, you know what I mean? Because it's like easy to just stay in this thing because it's comfortable and.
Brooke
It works and we. Well, I, I don't know if I say works, but it's comfortable.
Amanda
It's comfortable and like, but it's at what cost? We always say that when we're on the phone, crashing out, you know, at what cost?
Brooke
Which we are always on the phone.
Amanda
Just. Yeah. And I'm really excited to have phone calls where, like, we're not just going back and forth about canceled and trying to figure out what's right to do.
Brooke
Yeah. I'm like, really gonna, like, have to start. You're gonna have to start invoicing me for the amount of times you've had to give me the same exact speech.
Amanda
No, but it's the truth. Like, I mean, I wish I could go in your skin and say, phone down, phone off, stop responding.
Brooke
I know. I've just discovered like, you know, I always like, pride myself in like, oh, family of addicts. And it never hit me and I'm like, no, actually this is just like my drug. Like my self harm. My drug is like literally consuming opinions.
Amanda
100 and in saying that.
Brooke
It will happen more. You know what I mean?
Amanda
Yeah, but like, that you have to take a break and take a breather and enjoy this part of your life and come back to the people that want to hear from you and see you and see you through, thrive and do something. There's so much power in privacy and you know that.
Brooke
Yeah. And I'm, you know, I, I turn off my phone for. I, I shouldn't say turn off my phone. Lord knows I'm not turning off my phone. I, you know, I step outside and I hang out with people who know me, who are my friends, who like, are physical, human people who like, know me. And I'm like, it's crazy how different it feels. Like, I don't know how to explain it.
Amanda
Like, like, you're never going to win.
Brooke
I'm just reminded, like, oh my God, this is real life. Like, that is not real life. This is real life.
Amanda
I think that's why I had to like, start Hawaiiing so much. Because all of the, like, little dumb things that people say are things I used to think were dumb. Like take a walk or go touch grass or like, like dead ass, like, touching grass is lit as like. And I just. That that's what it was is after a month of doing that, I came back to this and I was like, I. It'. Yeah, it's. It's not. I need to be healed. And I think I am healed. So I'm like. And not all the way. Like, it's. It's linear. Like, you know what I mean? I'm not saying that, but I'm just at this place in my life where I'm, like, so sure of what's good for me and what's good for my mental health and just, like, the person I want to be and the things I want to do and like, just all of that, you know? I don't know.
Brooke
Well, I'm excited for you and I'm happy for you.
Amanda
And same with you. I really, like, there's such a space for you in this world. I just like, I know where it isn't. Yeah. And I'm excited to see where it is. And, like, I think that this. You're going to look back and be like, holy fuck. I'm so happy that we closed the chapter on one of the most, like, pivotal, crazy times of our life. But, yeah, I think Australia is going to be better now as well.
Brooke
Just like, I'm very excited for Australia. Although who the hell was going to tell me we're leaving in four days?
Amanda
Oh, my God, me. I could have told you.
Brooke
Nobody told me. I think I was. I can't. Honestly couldn't see two feet in front of me.
Amanda
I'm like, yeah, it's. What was I going to tell you today? Even, like, we're putting. Well, I don't want to, like, talk about it too much, but, like, we're putting something into the show that just pays homage to all that Canceled has been for us and you guys. And I'm very excited for that. I'm also debating if I, like. Because we're, like, going out with the bang. If, like, I don't know. I'm just trying to figure out what the stories that I want to tell as my, like, you know, I'm like.
Brooke
I don't want to go out with that much of a bang, to be honest.
Amanda
That's the thing, too, is even go.
Brooke
Out with the least amount of bang possible, to be honest. I've had enough bang. I agree.
Amanda
And we're gonna figure that out and it's gonna be so fun and I'm so excited to, like, see all the girlies and Canada. Dude, I'm sorry, I can't even talk you or me.
Brooke
So I can't even talk about Canada. Like, I'm coming for you.
Amanda
Canada.
Brooke
I will. I just want to come and kayak in Canada, to be honest.
Amanda
Oh, my.
Brooke
So kayaking. Kayak. Should we talk about your kayaking? Should we start. Should we get less dark with it or.
Amanda
Yeah, I have, like, I have topics that I'm down. I just don't think that I could go into the podcast today without, like, saying all of that.
Brooke
Yeah, so don't, you know, we told people, like, well, it's gonna be over in the fall. And like, obviously you and I made the decision, so it wouldn't better to be honest.
Amanda
Yeah, that's what it is, is. It's like. And I just, like, I don't know. I thought the ambiguity would help.
Brooke
Right over my head.
Amanda
Listen, I'm gonna go out saying the wrong words. No, I. Yeah, but I thought. I agree with you.
Brooke
I thought for sure they would be like Honda, but no, but instead they were like, yeah, thank God.
Amanda
And there were so many people saying nice things as well. Like, I'm not. It's. I see it all and I appreciate all of the love more than anything. But. Yeah, I definitely thought that discussing that it was coming to what we hope to be as a beautiful close would take away from the reasons that we're closing it, but it definitely just furthered that. And I can say that when this comes out, we either have six or five episodes left and nobody wants to see me on that last one because if that. This is me now, I'm going to be a mess.
Brooke
I'm gonna have so many sedatives.
Amanda
And honestly, like, I wanted. I want to do an episode before that where we, like, react to all of the moments and just. Thank you guys, like, Deadass. Thank you for Deadass, for everything, though, and just being a part of this major, massive, major, incredible journey of our lives. And we hope to see you in the next ones. Today's episode of the canceled podcast is sponsored by Quince. With summer in full swing, I feel that familiar urge to refresh my closet. But I'm not trying to waste money on pieces I'll only wear once or for just one season. That's where Quince comes in. Their clothes are timeless, feel luxurious, look elevated, and the quality is way beyond what you'd expect for the price. It's the kind of wardrobe update that just clicks. Think 100 European linen tops starting at $30, washable silk dresses and skirts and soft cotton sweater, versatile warm weather pieces that you'll reach for again. And again, the best part, everything with Quint is half the cost of familiar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middlemen, Quint gives you luxury without the markup. And Quint only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. Y', all, you will see me in this yellow dress and many other Quint pieces across our Australian excursion. And honest to God, this feels so nice. And I am, like, kind of gagged.
Brooke
I'm not gonna lie.
Amanda
And even as I was scrolling through their website choosing pieces for this, I was like, wow, I want, like, 50 things. Even just seeing the cashmere and all of the different sweaters, and even just seeing all the different pieces at different prices, I was just like, wow, this is a good deal, and these items are gorgeous. So thank you, Quince, for my new wardrobe that I'm absolutely loving. I am not joking you. I got this little black silk midi skirt, and it's so cute, and it is just. This is fun. Full effect of my rebrand, okay? I'm trying to embody what this black silk skirt is giving, okay? And for the price, you absolutely cannot beat this quality. So thank you again, Quint. Give your summer closet an upgrade with quints. Go to quint.com cancelled for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U I N C E.com canceled to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com canceled. Thank you, Quince, for upgrading my wardrobe and sponsoring today's episode of the canceled podcast. So, kayaking.
Brooke
You went kayaking. And I'm pissed because I've been begging everyone to go kayaking and no one wants to kayak with me.
Amanda
You've been begging everyone to go kayaking?
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
Okay, well, I wanna. Well, okay, you actually wouldn't want to go kayaking with me because I didn't paddle at all.
Brooke
I'll paddle.
Amanda
Oh, period.
Brooke
I got them shoulders on me, period.
Amanda
It's the hardest workout I tried for a second. So it was really just makoa paddling with me. Kay. Love it. Like, I had the time of my life. I think I might move to Hawaii. I can kind of soft launch that here.
Brooke
Yeah. I think more than anything in the world, I would love to see you move to Hawaii. I think that would be. That, to me, has, like, seemed like the obvious next step for you already.
Amanda
I just have to do the $5.
Brooke
Million house that you just bought. Kind of, like throws a wrench in it a little.
Amanda
I know, it's very interesting and I don't know how I'm gonna figure out this one, but I'll take it over. Yeah, you might have to. Have to. I, I don't know. I don't know what or how, but like, I'm definitely pursuing much more of a Hawaiian life, but full time. I still love LA and like, I am still very excited for like all of the things that we're going to do, but I'm realizing that that's what I need to do to heal, like just being there and it's just so good for you.
Brooke
I feel like you've never, I mean, I don't want to speak for you, but like you've lived in like the most fast paced, you know, cutthroat places like your entire life and you've lived a fast paced cutthroat life. I feel like to be just someplace that's just nothing.
Amanda
But I do the same thing every day and I love it. I sat on the beach the other day at a beach with no cell phone service. Like, we drove there for like hours and I have no phone service. And I'm not even fucking joking you, for four hours I sat there filling up a soda can that was empty with sand and then dumping it out and filling it up with sand and then dumping it out and then filling it up with sand and dumping it out and watching the SIR for like four hours, just clearing my thoughts, just breathing, letting the vitamin D soak. And then like we leave and I come back to like service land. Like cell phone service land. And I was like, like I. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just recognizing that I need more and more of that, the more and more of peace. And that doesn't mean I'm like falling off the Internet. It just means I need to reframe my main source of content. And as do you, you know, like, and that's exciting. I do have some topics. Let me see what I have. I, I haven't forgotten about you yet.
Brooke
Even at the idea of you not having watched the last two episodes of Love Island. Because all I want to do is about it.
Amanda
I know, I know. Well, I like kept watching because it comes out in Hawaii at like 3pm because it comes out at 6 here. And then I was like, up like my prime beach days and to watch it and I was like, okay, hold on. Like you don't live there yet. You don't just get to take this for granted full blown. And then the last two days I was just like, grinding to try to get here because we have like three days before. Because anything I didn't do there, I would have had to do here and I don't have time to do it here. So I'm just too behind. But I'm gonna get there. I left off on Huda, Shelley, the start of Huda and Shelly Gate and I.
Brooke
And boy is it Huda and Shellygate. But I don't want to ruin it or spoil it for you, but just know that you have spoiled this experience for me.
Amanda
What, by not seeing it? I'm not totally kidding. I'm not joking though. Like, at up until this point, I would have taken a bullet for Shelly.
Brooke
See, that's. I literally just made a TikTok about that. I'm like, I just am so disappointed because I'm. She has been my princess.
Amanda
Well, don't start because I haven't seen it.
Brooke
I'm not telling you anything. I'm just saying, like, I.
Amanda
Well, Maya is actually my favorite.
Brooke
Oh. I just. I literally just posted on my story. I go. If you guys don't all go vote for her as your favorite because last favorite.
Amanda
Oh, having a favorite voting.
Brooke
Yeah. Last favorite vote. I thought, what is that? That's not a spoiler. Yeah.
Amanda
I guess it doesn't really matter at all.
Brooke
Don't we like always do that? Last favorite voting. I thought absolutely certain that Amaya was gonna get the favorite and she was in the bottom three.
Amanda
Yeah. And then I wonder how much of it just. All of it. As I've been. Yeah. As I've been like making all of these takes on Love island online. Like, I'm wondering how much is just like evil production. Evil casting even. Don't get me started on how I feel. Like they are so evil for casting Vanna, like how much that in Huda's peak crash out. I don't think think they should have kept her. I'm happy she's here.
Brooke
Selfishly, I think you'll feel so differently.
Amanda
Like, I'm hoping that it feels lighter, so healed and I'm just like, yeah. And I was really on the, like, get her help, get her out.
Brooke
Like, no, I saw. I saw her for who she is.
Amanda
I'm not gonna lie. There's like, there's.
Brooke
I. I do if I sympathize with her, with Huda, I'm a Huda apologist.
Amanda
And I don't give a you know what period.
Brooke
I need you to just see it though, seriously. No, but I do. Can I give you one spoiler? It's it's fine.
Amanda
Fine. Yes. Yes.
Brooke
Ace, with his entire chest in this episode, just said, and I'm 5, 10. And I'm like, ace, no, you're not.
Amanda
What is he? You think he's littler?
Brooke
I think Ace is five, six, Max, Max, Max.
Amanda
It's really funny to imagine him as like 5, 2.
Brooke
He.
Amanda
He could be.
Brooke
There's like a podium. He can hardly see over it.
Amanda
I will say to attest to Huda's recent growth, when that guy was looking at her saying, you're dominated. Like what? You're dominating or whatever, and she just walked away from the conversation. I thought that was major, major laser.
Brooke
Anything yet? Honestly? I need you to do it. I need you to do it tonight. If you love me.
Amanda
But in the commentary, I was like, like, damn. Like, there's some. I could see myself literally having an entire Love island commentary podcast.
Brooke
No, but Tanner and I, every single night in Hawaii, a full hour long breakdown of the episode in such great detail.
Amanda
I'm like, I've been so.
Brooke
I think this, like, that's the only thing, like, that gets me, like, lit up. And I feel the same way about all my shows. I'm like, maybe I am Andy Cohen off of Timu.
Amanda
Like, I love that.
Brooke
Maybe it's all about reality television for me.
Amanda
Reality television commentary is so. This is so funny. How did you just pull that up? Will I like Taylor anymore in the next two episodes? Because I was very disheartened with his. Does he just go back to a laundry, though? And she folds? I'm gonna be like, I don't like that.
Brooke
No. Do you really want to know? No, you don't, but I don't want to know.
Amanda
No, but I just like, oh, my God, I am in. Like, I know these next two episodes are like, so.
Brooke
But so it's like almost my dream. I'm like, jealous of you that you get to sit and watch two back to back.
Amanda
I know I do like, like that when I, like, hold them in and McCall and I just have like a serious watch party. But I also have to go to bed early tonight. I' supposed to crack two veneers out of my head at the top of tomorrow sedated, like, and then carry on for the rest of my day preparing for Australia. I'm gonna show up and see that I've packed a fedora and a feather boa.
Brooke
But do you know that we only have 12 shows in. In Australia?
Amanda
It's so funny because I feel that way that we only have 12 shows. Every single person in the industry that I've said we have 12 shows has looked at me and said, oh, that's a lot really.
Brooke
I think I'm. I just think in terms of outfits because most of our runs have been like obviously more than that. Or maybe they haven't been. Maybe I'm just delusional.
Amanda
I'm also excited for Australia for so many reasons.
Brooke
I've just never been. And I've been so in my head and so like mentally unwell that I had it coming to today where I was literally like, I'm gonna be in Australia before the end of the week.
Amanda
Yeah.
Brooke
Like never have I even thought about that. Like I, I knew it to be true, but I never actually was like, oh, I'm going to Australia. I don't know what it is. I've been like very, I feel like I've been like very dissociated, whatever the word would be.
Amanda
One of Moa's birthday gifts to me was an aura ring. And I'm so excited to be monitoring my stress across tour.
Brooke
Just know that Amari's responsible for you not having your birthday gift for me yet. And by that I mean he won't tell me what size to get. And that means it has not been ordered yet. But just know I have a good idea.
Amanda
I also just love you and like you don't even have to, you know that.
Brooke
Of course I do.
Amanda
This, this gift was like 10 years of gifts too if you really think about it.
Brooke
It's exciting, it's fun to shop for you. I feel like because you like now, now that I'm like on the same kick, you know how I used to be like no designer. So stupid. Everything's so stupid now. I'm like, the real real is like crack all day long.
Amanda
I'm trying to reverse that completely. After touring places in Hawaii and realizing that if I want to get any form, like I will have to drastically change my lifestyle. Do you know that I. So I walk into the condo that we're like staying at and it's two bedroom, two bath, it's 800 square feet. It's like beautiful. It's amazing. And I walk in like after we check in, just like the one that I had like rented to stay in and I was like, this is so beautiful. This is like such a small amount of space. This is perfect for me. Like no, I don't need, like I'm not an over consumption queen when I'm here. This is going to be so perfect for me. Like, oh my God, I need it like whatever. And up the price of this condo and it's $4.7 million for an 800 square feet, two bedroom, two bath.
Brooke
Like on the sand.
Amanda
Yes. But like I would just find a place that I love and like my boyfriend and the love of my life being from this place that I now want to like transition my life to that it's more expensive than lost.
Brooke
I guess I kind of expected it to be that way because of like, isn't that kind of why they get upset about people moving there? Because like the people who already live there, it's like made it so hard for everyone to afford anything.
Amanda
Yes. And there's so I've been literally doing so much research about like moving to.
Brooke
A place that helps because of you. I'm just.
Amanda
No, but I like even just after getting to know Makoa's family and just hearing about like all of the things, whether it's like the fires in the High Note or just things that they've had to deal with with like the way the hotels are and tourism and I only want to like help. You know what I mean?
Brooke
Like, I know I never, like, honestly I knew nothing about it until Amber Moser really like is adamant about it. And I had never even like put thought to that at all because it's like you would think, I guess for with a lot of places you think tourism is a positive. But I think it's. I don't know.
Amanda
And there are certain aspects of it that are uncertain that aren't. And it's just so wild. I like started looking in my budget. It's just, it's very funny.
Brooke
It is very, very funny. Have you covered some postmates or no?
Amanda
Yes. I didn't postmate one time in Hawaii.
Brooke
Really? Well, can you.
Amanda
Yeah, yeah, at all. But. And then last night I got home and ordered Prince street pizza.
Brooke
Oh, I had Prince street last night.
Amanda
Oh, insane. It's like levitating.
Brooke
It's so good.
Amanda
Get. I got, I get the naughty pie. Naughty pie with hot honey.
Brooke
Yeah. And like, I don't know why I'm talking like that.
Amanda
Like, no, it's so good. But yeah, for $700,000 I could get a 400 square foot studio with no kitchen and a hot plate.
Brooke
So I'm really, I'm excited. There has to be a happy medium. But although it is not crazy, $700,000 is like a night a very nice house in 90% of America.
Amanda
No, it's, it's, it's so wild that I've fallen in love In. In love with a life somewhere truly, that it makes Los Angeles look like Delaware. Like, it's. It's wild. But even just being with McCoy's family and just like spending so much time with his like, siblings and mom and dad.
Brooke
Siblings. Young, right?
Amanda
Young. 12 and like 14, 15.
Brooke
Yeah, that's. I mean, it's also. I feel like, nice for him to be there.
Amanda
Yeah.
Brooke
For that time, you know?
Amanda
And I'm just like imagining my life play out there and it is like, definitely something I want. But. Yeah, that means dialing back on everything. You know what I mean? You know what? I was going to tell you though. We were just talking about the real real. I did the cutest thing for Paige's birthday and I can talk about it because, like, her birthday pass. I'm gonna give it to her in the next two days. I went on Depop and I up my whole algorithm for this, by the way, so that was like a serious thing for me. And I like, like found her all of these items that are so her and like made this little like, bag of all these items that I like individually. Like, wait, how cute? Isn't that cute? I'm so excited to give it to her.
Brooke
I'm. I'm obsessed with what. As for your birthday, I have to give it to her.
Amanda
It's unreal. I played so good. I played for like eight hours straight the other day with the most insane questions. Like, she made me a guess who board like with everyone and like, oh my God, just how long it took and like, whatever. Just so sweet. I was sobbing. But it was the funniest thing ever. We should do that for like a Patreon or something at some point. Cuz like genuinely sitting there and being like, like, oh my God. Trevy was just saying the funniest. I'm trying to think of any question Trevi asked that probably like air.
Brooke
Yeah. I was gonna say if I know one thing about.
Amanda
Does this person have a bag of ketamine in their purse right now? And then I'd be like, no, my person does not have a bag of ketamine in their purse right now. And then I'd watch her flip down like nine people. Like, it's just like, it's not real. It was the funniest out. We were doing it for so long. Long.
Brooke
It was great. There has been a break in the poopa trader case in my building, if you guys don't recall. I had a girl who is basically smearing cat on the walls in the trash room and I snitched on her like the real Karen that I am. Okay. I sent the lengthiest email to who no longer works there, thank God. But he said he issued her a warning. And as you guys know, he also increased my rent just to, you know, throw something in there when I complained about it. Okay. And nothing ever got better. In fact, I would venture to say it got worse.
Amanda
Yeah.
Brooke
Okay. Still. And now it's like, I feel like I might have, like, piss her off or something, because now all of a sudden, it's like it. It's like you're doing this so. So. So on purpose. Except the other day, I am walking into my hallway, just good vibes only, and I see a neighbor I've never seen before. And I'm about to smile, I'm about to wave, until I see that she has a free floating litter box in her hand, okay? Waving it around like a flag. I have a photo.
Amanda
I'm gonna have Aaron in the photo. Looks just like me.
Brooke
It could very well be you.
Amanda
Imagine it's just me coming over and smearing cat shit on the walls of your apartment.
Brooke
But. So I. I physically. My. My suspicions were true, by the way. I had always just assumed that what she was doing was physically carrying the litter box to the trash room and trying to dump it down. By the way, the trash hole in my trash room is this big. So, like, for her to, like, the litter box is significantly bigger than the hole, meaning there's no possible way to get all the litter through the hole. Okay. I'm. This doesn't need to be that long of a story. I'm trying to get to the end. I see her with my own two eyes. So obviously, without any hesitation, I pull out my phone and I record her. Because she. She has one hand on the litter box, one hand on the phone. Okay? So she just went in there and tried to execute this whole thing with one hand. So I take a video of her, I take a photo of her, and then I go right into the trash room and I see the damage. Okay? And I had just left some boxes in there that say my apartment number on them loud and clear. She poured pissy lumps and shitty lumps atop my boxes again, validating anyone's thoughts that it might be be me. Me doing it.
Amanda
You think she has a vendetta against you?
Trisha
You think she has a fierce microbang?
Brooke
I am not. Yeah, maybe she's. Maybe. Maybe she was offended by me in some way, but. So I'm freaking out, and I sent it straight to. Again, we're gonna sleep on my.
Amanda
But.
Brooke
And this time, I'm not as nice, okay? Because I'm like, you either didn't warn her or she doesn't value your authority, and you need to do something about this right now. And he sent me back a little. A little sassy little email. And now I.
Amanda
But it's crazy. It's like paying that much and someone just smearing shit everywhere. And there's no pen.
Brooke
That's exactly right. And so I thought, you know what? I'm gonna take matters into my own hands. And thankfully, when I was picking up my boxes from the front desk the other day, I noticed that on the desk there was a note that said, two, we are going to miss you so much. And I thought to myself, this is the best news ever. He's leaving. And therefore, there is a. A gap. There's a elapse in time between and whoever is newly in authority. Therefore, I have printed her photo. I am. When I tell you it's going to be on every wall in my building. Fugitive wanted reward.
Amanda
It is a diabolical thing to do. Okay? And honestly, like, I. Yeah, I would be.
Brooke
Just as it's a biohazard, it's unsafe. You. Do you want to know something? I'm that serious.
Amanda
Someone somewhere in a hazmat su is rolling.
Brooke
No. Do you know that if you're pregnant, it's, like, actually, like, extremely, extremely toxic to. To be around cat litter? So you can't scoop cat litter or anything when you're pregnant. It's like, really?
Amanda
No one should be doing that in an apartment building. Yeah.
Brooke
Why isn't there pissy cat litter all over the carpet, all over the trash, You. All over the floor, all over her door handle, all over. Probably her hands and feet.
Amanda
No, she's probably taking a bath in cat piss right now. Now. And I think that you should get a guillotine.
Brooke
Well, I offered her assistance. I'm like, I will give her her own bags. I will. That's the thing. Buy her a litter robot, whatever. Whatever helps the greater good of my building. Yeah. I am a good Samaritan.
Amanda
I do agree. Like, living in an apartment building, if you're doing anything that's affecting the other people negatively, you can't, like, do that.
Brooke
Anyway, I'm not really gonna publicly humiliate her, but. But I thought about it.
Amanda
I mean, she's the pooper traitor. And I think that I'm just happy. Here's what I'm gonna say. I'm excited to see what you do next.
Brooke
I Want to know what the cat looks like? Cuz she does it one more time, I'm snatching that thing.
Amanda
Yeah, that's also fair. Like how, how. How's their home?
Brooke
Because it's safe to assume that if you're that negligent with your litter, you might be that negligent as a parent in general. And I'm not Mom shaming.
Amanda
But we gotta check on the cat wellness check. Because if that was.
Brooke
Speaking of. Did I tell you about this? Okay, there's no reason that I should have had that reaction for what I was about to tell you. But my final. Not kidding. My final note before he goes. How the hell is it July? And no one has made the person in take their Christmas tree down.
Amanda
Okay, now you're just. Now you're.
Brooke
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Amanda
FA la la la la la la la la.
Trisha
Jo.
Amanda
Some people spread the spirit year round.
Brooke
I'm worried. Well, I'm worried that there are.
Amanda
They're.
Brooke
I'm not. Has anyone done a wellness check? Their Christmas lights are still on. It is July. It's not. It's not Christmas lights. It's a Christmas tree.
Amanda
You know what I'm hearing is a.
Trisha
New calling for you. Imagine you just started managing the building.
Amanda
And like weirdly, kind of. Kind of like a good passion project for you. You like you could exhaust some.
Brooke
Some rule enforcing. What's it called when somebody's like a cop but like just on their own time.
Amanda
Oh, I. I know what you're saying. Freelance.
Brooke
No, it's like it's called something. It's like I don't funsies like sit like they do. Like citizens arrest. Like, like they're like, yes, you should.
Amanda
Absolutely start citizen arresting the people of your building.
Brooke
No.
Amanda
Yeah, I guess buildings need managers like you.
Brooke
I guess I understand. Like, maybe it's their like. Like it's like ironic and like it's a decor choice but like I genuinely. Every time I see it, I'm like, are they okay?
Amanda
It's just Harry Jowy. Doesn't he live in your building?
Brooke
He does. Merry Christmas. It's Christmas in Australia. Maybe that's what it is. I'm off duty. Yeah.
Amanda
And you know what?
Brooke
I get it. I get it.
Amanda
You work on the pooper trader. You let that fuck you let Kris Kringle.
Brooke
You think I'm being Karen about the Christmas street?
Amanda
Yes.
Brooke
Really? But like a lie first.
Amanda
No, it's not a carrot.
Brooke
Well, now it's like almost like keep it up. You know what I mean? Like it's almost time.
Amanda
Yeah. Like, I think you're fun sucking. Really?
Brooke
Really?
Amanda
Because, well, wait, like, do you. Do you see it from your window? Does it bother you?
Brooke
That does say more about me than I think. It's my. Like, I'm embarrassed by it makes me feel like my Christmas tree is not down. You know, just the same thing. There's like a. I don't know. Okay, I. After this, I promise to stop talking. Have you seen the new documentary on Netflix called the Poop Cruise?
Amanda
No.
Brooke
Well, like, anyway, like, the power goes out on the cruise. There's a fire, whatever. Everyone has to start shitting in bags and then it's all over the place.
Amanda
Very funny. Sorry if that's the wrong take.
Brooke
Seriously, I thought to myself, like, when it was finally coming into the dock and like, there's thousands of news helicopters and people waiting at the dock to see all these people be on that poop cruise, I thought to myself, I would sooner stay on that poop cruise than walk off and have everyone know.
Trisha
That I was on the.
Amanda
Wait, why do I feel like the. I feel like you'd get off and you'd be like talking to Fox.
Brooke
I be. Because it's like they know at that point that I have shit in the hallway.
Amanda
So that's what happened. People were just shitting in the hallway on the poop group?
Brooke
I guess. Yeah, well, it was like. Yeah, yeah. They're like none of the toilets worked anymore. And it got to a point where like, since they didn't. It's so funny that Netflix just made a whole documentary about this club cruise.
Amanda
Yeah, I actually will be watching that. I give you my word.
Brooke
One of one girl was. Or like there was like a group of girls who were on their bachelorette party.
Amanda
But like, what, like, did anybody get harmed?
Brooke
Well, it's like a. Again, major biohazard. It's like a big petri dish, like floating in the middle of the ocean.
Amanda
I guess that part is not good. But like, how funny. Like, I would like, like you can.
Brooke
Die from consuming human shit.
Amanda
Oh, my God.
Brooke
That's not to say were like consuming it on purpose, but like, they went.
Amanda
On no toilet to human center.
Brooke
No, it was like it was flooded like Pitt and on the floor of the cafeteria. And there's thousands of people on this cruise.
Amanda
It's literally like, how long were they stuck on the cruise for?
Brooke
Eight days, I think. Or nine days. It was supposed to be like three days. It was like fire festival.
Amanda
What a shitty situation.
Brooke
Literally shitty situation. Okay, now tell me anything but all of that.
Amanda
Remember when we interviewed the guy from Fyre Festival?
Brooke
Yeah. And he asked us to be the official correspondence for Fyre Festival. See that? That was a time we zoom called.
Trisha
The Fyre Festival guy.
Brooke
And then the second that we hung up, you just started talking mad about him.
Trisha
I think I need to add that to our live show because.
Amanda
What do you mean? But he was so stupid. I still stand on that.
Brooke
I have a bad gauge for that.
Amanda
As I move forward in my journey of growth, I've realized that there is something holding me back, extremely. From the person that I want to be and the person that I am now. Something that I am doing that no longer aligns with me.
Brooke
Vaping.
Amanda
We'll get to that. Oh, the other day, I put on a very cute outfit, and I go to the beach, and I'm wearing a red bikini, and I'm wearing a long, white maxi skirt and lots of jewels. And I think to myself, I'm gonna take some photos right now, and I'm gonna post them. I put two little stupid braids in the front of my hair. Yeah. And I really, genuinely do take pride in the fact that these days, I am. No, I'm not editing my photos anywhere near the way that I used to. Like editing my bum, is what I need to say.
Brooke
Like, I'm not saying anything.
Amanda
I don't care if I need to stand there and suck into a way that feels like I'm never going to bre air again. I'm going to do that and then be able to minimally edit my photo because I no longer want my Instagram to just be a misrepresentation of how I look. However, I discovered this app called Beauty Up.
Brooke
You're late to Beauty Up. I've had Beauty up for years, and.
Amanda
The beauty of Beauty up is that it has. Is an app that can detach your background so you are able. Even just, like, small things. Like, you can. Let's say like. Like, at this time, I think I still like, spray tan coming off, right? So, like, I can just press, like, add, like, a little slight smooth to all of my skin at once. It's a very quick versus, like, sitting there and smoothing all the bad areas of the tan. You can do that in one motion because it is, like, detecting your body. It's whatever. I use the app. I'm confident in the before and afters of these photographs. Okay. I'm confident that in the before and afters of these photographs, I look very similar. Okay. And I post them to my grid, and I find it very funny that in one of the photos where I am posing on the beach that Mokoa is in the background with his surfboard. So I decide to make the final slide of this photo dump a zoomed in photo of Mokoa. Now I happen to not see, I happen to miss the fact that Moa has three hands. Moa has three hands in the photo. Makoa has three hands. Three hands.
Brooke
When I, I sent that right to you, I said, my girl, you have some explaining to do.
Amanda
Because I couldn't I, I looked at.
Brooke
The photo so hard to try identify like where what you could have been patching that like would have made that happen. And I couldn't figure it out. So now the. I'm thankful that you explained that it.
Amanda
Was no AI had locked in the background, but it had altered the background. And at first too, I was like, damn, like, is his dick showing through his pants? Like, is this like, oh, he has like a third leg, like period? Yep, that's my king. You know what I mean? And then I.
Brooke
On his surfboard.
Amanda
Yeah. No, and then I scroll and I see that McCullough poa has three hands.
Brooke
But you know what I will say, so funny. I like, I love stuff like that because it's like, like I think Kim Kardashian does that on purpose.
Amanda
You know what?
Brooke
Like, like to get more like, you're.
Amanda
Right talking because I like, I obviously could have deleted this slide. And then there was a part of.
Brooke
Me that was like, I'm just going to leave this.
Amanda
And it's true and it's authentic to my story. But I almost think that like with where AI and like new apps have gone, that it was almost better in more camp when I was just warping a wall.
Brooke
Like, what do you mean? But I wouldn't say it was better, I'm afraid. I'm just afraid of what, what apps can do in general now. Like, face app was bad enough. Face up. It's so crazy that like we've been doing that for four, four years. More than four years. Something new has happened. AI influencers.
Amanda
Yeah.
Brooke
What the hell is that?
Amanda
AI influencers horrify me. It's so funny. I keep seeing ones that like, look and act just like me and I'm like, oh my God, they're coming for my job.
Brooke
They're getting me with the AI doctors explaining things like they got me to buy like this toenail cream and it was a doctor. And it was a doctor. And like it took me like, obviously until after I had bought it to realize that, like, it was a doctor that they had just, like, turned. They made her say these things and she's never said those?
Amanda
No. I fear I'm, like, turning into a millennial grandma who, like, believes AI.
Brooke
Oh, I 100 do. Are you kidding me? I saw Cat do a literal full twist off a diving board yesterday. I was like, is this real?
Amanda
Yeah. I don't like that.
Brooke
I can't wait for you to see tonight's episode.
Amanda
Oh, my God, I am so excited.
Brooke
Stop.
Amanda
Love Island.
Brooke
I actually, like, like, more so than I did today. I was, like, physically crying and I had to get up and, like, really wipe my face off.
Amanda
Okay.
Brooke
Because I'm watching enough. They were that mean to somebody.
Amanda
Okay. We will come back with our commentary and honestly, that's probably what our Australia episodes will be be. These are AI creators.
Brooke
These are all fake. Yeah.
Amanda
Like, Lana Scolaro's coming for my job.
Brooke
I want to make an fans girl on AI.
Amanda
You know, there would have been a time in my life where I was trying to date Darren till like, what the fuck?
Brooke
No, I think you were more Ben Morris.
Amanda
Get that the out of here. I don't know. My wisdom tooth is impacted.
Brooke
You still don't have toenail. Toenails. You still don't have toenails.
Amanda
I still. My toenails are. They're brutal. That's. That's what doing. I'm fixing all of this. I can't believe I have to crack veneers out of my head tomorrow.
Brooke
I know. What. What is that about?
Amanda
Well, it's hard for me to talk about without saying slanderous.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
But I. I found out that some of my veneers have been put in with temporary cement. And you would just think that that's something that you would know upon them being put in with temporary cement.
Brooke
Sometimes I. And I'm not saying you do this, but sometimes I hear things. Things and don't hear them. I'm like, yep, sounds right. Do it.
Amanda
Yeah. No, but no, no, because I'm so, like, aware of just. Yeah. It's crazy. Like, because I have to go to Vegas the third through the fifth, so, like, I only have tomorrow and the next day to prepare for Australia and I have like 50,000 things to do and I'm very nervous, but I'm gonna get it done. I have to turn into a person again. I gotta get the hair out of my head, get my fake toenail put on, get two veneers cracked in and out, figure out if my wisdom tooth is too impacted. To make it all the way through Australia, I might literally have to get it out out there. If it keeps acting up.
Brooke
I need to get my toenails, like, permanently installed, I think by your girl, maybe because I've been doing it myself.
Amanda
Yeah.
Brooke
And it's not safe out here. I've been losing toenails in public.
Trisha
Oh, wow.
Brooke
Oh, my God. In college, like, when it first went down, I got home one day and had a. My toenail was gone. I was like, oh, it's in somebody's. It's in his bed.
Amanda
Yeah, yeah.
Brooke
My entire big toenail is in his bed and he's gonna find it.
Amanda
I was thinking about this the other day, like, the fact that I met Micole with this having happened to my toenail. And I had white nail polish that had grown out to halfway through my toe. And then I had. I painted hot pink on top of it that was now chipping, so it was like pink and white. And then my toenail underneath had turned green. And I remember one of the first times I was having sex with McCoy Koa. Like, I somehow was looking at my toes, right? And I looked at my toe, somehow was like white and pink and green. And I was like, oh, my God, this man.
Brooke
Like, it's color combo.
Amanda
It was just like. It was Glinda and Elphaba and he was still trying to hit, which was cool.
Brooke
I love that for him, you know? But I love that for both of you. Really?
Amanda
Yeah. It's good. It's nice. I'm trying to figure out the stories that I want to tell on stage. Because the last time I was in Australia, I was a certifiably insane person. Like, that was the time that I tried to rip up someone's passport so they couldn't go back to America. And I'm debating if I want to tell that story.
Brooke
Really good one. It's one of my favorites.
Amanda
I'm thinking about how Jordan broke my Louis Vuitton backpack out there. And just the way I acted about that. I still kind of stand on that one. Shoey is like, you have to do a shoey.
Brooke
I'm not doing anyone's shoey.
Amanda
I will. Like, I will with like a Diet Coke. Like, I think we have. You don't understand, like, the crowd, like, starts like. Like, they, like, demand it. Like, it's like, we're not getting out of there without doing a shit shoey. So maybe we, like, get a new pair of shoes.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
And then, like, bring it to the venue and bring them out on stage and Then that's how we do our shoes. I used to do them just out of shrink.
Brooke
Who the hell's idea was that? Like, why, why would they make that their thing? That's weird.
Amanda
I know, it is very interesting, but it's. I think that the girlies need to see it. Us do a shoey maybe at every shoe show. So. Yeah, I don't know. I am like, very excited to go into this and it just be like our last crazy hurrah.
Brooke
Me too.
Amanda
I think this overall too will just be easier than Europe and the vibes will be higher, you know, no Customs.
Brooke
Really.
Amanda
Well, once we go through it.
Brooke
Oh, I guess I didn't even really think about that.
Amanda
Customs was the bane of my existence on that tour. As you can can tell, everyone's mad at Alicia Marie for her reaction. I don't. Why am I doing this?
Brooke
For her reaction to.
Amanda
Mariah and Heath's pregnancy announcement.
Brooke
Well, how did she react?
Amanda
I saw the video, said, what the, what the, what the. And people like, are mad at her for that.
Brooke
Oh, brother.
Amanda
And it's like so funny because Matt King had the same reaction. I'm like, are y' all just reacting this way because she's a woman?
Brooke
And also like, that's exciting. That's what you say when you're like, oh my God, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Yeah. Yeah.
Amanda
And like, what is this, 2010? And she's still a DIY YouTuber. Like, she's friends with Lana Del Rey. You think, what the fuck is the worst thing they're saying?
Brooke
What does Lana have to have to do with that?
Amanda
Like, they're.
Brooke
She doesn't say bad things.
Amanda
You don't think Lana Del Rey talks about a coke spoon now and again. She sold them at one point.
Brooke
I stand with Alicia.
Amanda
Well, yeah, just like, I just like saw that today and I was like.
Brooke
That'S wild when something like that happens. I'm like, there's no way. People are really mad about that.
Amanda
Jeff Bezos is White Wedding.
Brooke
I'm afraid to comment on that because I don't, I don't think I know why people are so upset. And I think that that says something bad.
Amanda
Well, he just like, I think like the state of the world and everything. People are upset, obviously, because he's like, renting out Italy.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
I think for me, I've never seen so many, like rich ass people dress so poorly, dress so horrible.
Brooke
It was a, it was just a really, like, truthfully kind of a tacky wedding. I think that's really the big takeaway. I mean, obviously there's a lot to be said about like, billionaires and why they shouldn't exist, but I'm really concerned about, like, why. Why it looked so inexpensive.
Amanda
Even just like Lauren Sanchez's like, dress. Like, I was just like, I didn't.
Brooke
Think her dress was that bad.
Amanda
I thought me either. But I guess it's like, yeah, if I was wearing. If I was marrying Jeff Bezos, I would skin that bald head and wear.
Brooke
It as it's fine when he's bald.
Amanda
One of our options right now for a podcast topic. And Devin, this is no shade to you. You are doing your job. You are getting aid that is lit you a period king. Matter of fact, thank you. Give me five more like it. Right? But one of our options right now to podcast about is that Kylie Jenner has finally followed Timothee Chalamet on Instagram. I don't give a damn.
Brooke
There's no way.
Amanda
And like, I can't stress this enough. I could sit here for an hour trying to muster up something to think about it. And I think the only thing I could come to after one full hour of thinking. Thinking is cool.
Brooke
Cool. Who gives a.
Amanda
Sorry, Aaron.
Brooke
I love Timothy because you know what?
Amanda
It is too. Imagine the freedom of. And I think I used to thrive like this so much with my YouTube channel because, like, I'm just. I am the way I am. You know, I'm like a night owl, right? Like, I used to get a creative spike of inspiration at 1:30 in the morning. I would venture to say that yours is probably at 7:30 in the morning. Okay. But then to turn on an individual camera. Camera and discuss the spike of inspiration at that time versus driving to this studio filled with demons, ghosts, goblins and ghouls and lack of an air conditioning unit and then having to lots of passion. It's actually a great studio. It's a great studio.
Trisha
And then Kylie Dinner Ball Timothy on Instagram.
Brooke
We're gonna get through this.
Amanda
We are.
Trisha
Kylie Jenner followed Timothy.
Amanda
No, I mean, like, that's good. No, I don't give a. And I love them.
Brooke
They're Facebook official.
Amanda
Yeah, I was, you know, I was thinking about that the other day. Here. Okay, I've had a thought. This is cool. We're getting somewhere. But like, do you remember how like groundbreaking that was to change your to like it's complicated or like.
Brooke
Yeah, it was so exciting. I still think often about like top 10. Top 8. Top 10, huh? Would you. Were you a MySpace girl?
Amanda
Or yes, more than anything.
Brooke
Oh God, I miss it.
Amanda
It's funny cuz Mo's little sister is like, she's on Tik Tok and McCo and I have just been talking about how much we like don't want that for her, you know what I mean? And like, she loves me so much and I love her so much, but I obviously do not have any desire for this sweet angel to see my entire discography. And she like, the other day she was like, I saw a video of you with pink hair. And I was like, how far have you gone? Like, oh no, oh no. But I'm also thinking about the fact that like that just is this generation. And like you could have told me that like all of my family was going to die if I didn't delete my MySpace and I would have said, check out this HTML code. Like, you know what I mean? Like you can't stop.
Brooke
But it's just, we didn't have, we didn't have what they have. Like, obviously, like, honestly, it was probably like darker, a little bit darker for us because the Internet like was just a dark place. But I think about just like the videos that I had to watch. Like I have the same videos that I watched a million, like the amount of times I watched Miley Cyrus sing the national anthem backstage like somewhere. And I just, I would make everyone in my family members watch it. I was like, she is so talented.
Amanda
Makoa was even saying this the other day where he was like, at one point we used YouTube to open it and search for a specific video. Like, Charlie bit my finger. And then we would like rewatch that like a bunch of times.
Brooke
And now what do we use YouTube for?
Amanda
Now we open up our recommendation.
Brooke
Oh, I guess. Yeah. But I, I still go in there searching for things.
Amanda
Yes. As a searching tool when you're trying to consume like YouTube content you like. See, at least I do like my favorite creators or what's recommended, you know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's all so much. And it's so crazy because like I'm trying to think about like by the time I have kids, like how a God awful it's going to be.
Brooke
No, I'm already, I'm not even over Waymo. Like, what the hell are they gonna have any.
Amanda
Did you watch that show Adolescent since on Netflix.
Brooke
I still, again, I still haven't gotten through the last episode.
Amanda
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But just seeing that, like seeing how much like Andrew Tate. It's like content like the red pill of it all is like affecting this generation of boys.
Brooke
I'm just like, well, I God, I told you. I. I met that little baby, baby girl in New York and she was like, will you follow me back? And I'm like, oh my God, of course I followed her back in the things that she's posting. I'm not kidding. I thought she was 8. Like I met her in person. I thought she was eight. Her. Oh my God, her at has like in it. Like she's. I'm like, oh my God. I literally was like, every day she posts something, I send it to Bibi.
Amanda
I'm like, like Even just like McCall's little sister was like making a joke to me that she was like dressing up. I got her a labubu. So I am a part of the problem. But she was dressing up her labubu like Ice Spice. So she's gonna name her Labuu Teemu Ice Spice. And I was like laughing so hard at that. I was like, that's so funny. But then I'm like, how do you know that? Yes, like, like the brain rot tick tock thing.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
I as a 27 year old think are funny. You think are funny. And like we are like consuming the same thing. So then is that regressing us so much as like about to be 30 year olds that like we're consuming hehe hahas for like. Or is it making them grow up too fast? Like, you get what I'm trying to say?
Brooke
I do.
Amanda
And like MySpace and Facebook and stuff. It's still always scary, but it was just different. It was like you had like your friends and stuff. It wasn't like this like dope.
Brooke
Yeah, you're right.
Amanda
And like fingertips on like the whole world. Like it's like, yeah, you can access.
Brooke
Anyone at any time. I think about that with like celebrities too. I. I was just telling someone how I used to Miley, I'm safe. I am not. I'm not a risk to you. But I used to try so hard. I would google her address at any, like anything I could do to find the Miley. Miley Cyrus's address so that I could write her a letter and I would, I would write her like letters. And now you can DM absolutely anyone. Like I keep, I'm watching all these shows and I'm like, oh my God. I'm obsessed with this person. I follow them and they follow you back immediately. You're like, oh my God. Oh yeah.
Amanda
That's also fame though.
Brooke
No, no, because it's like Fraser from below deck. Like, doesn't know who I am.
Amanda
Okay. I didn't know where you were going.
Brooke
Niche. Niche.
Amanda
Like that.
Brooke
But he's the biggest celebrity in the world to me. Fraser, I love you.
Amanda
Mm. I could see you genuinely having a reality show commentary that I would love to join you on any season of Love Island. It's gonna get into Big Brother.
Brooke
Believe we missed our opportunities to go on the below deck charter. And I. I'm. I'm considering doing that as, like, why.
Amanda
Don'T we just get a boat, bring J Rod and save 30k.
Brooke
Because Fraser needs to be. We need a chief. Stew.
Amanda
Let's call Frazier. Let's make chiefs. Fraser. And have below deck at home. Home.
Brooke
No, it's so important. We have. We have to have Captain. Captain Lee. Although I think he might have retired now. I think it's Captain Carry. He's coming back for us.
Amanda
I'll put on a hat.
Brooke
Hey, no, it's important. It's. The whole operation is important. It's not a normal boat charter. Like, it's. It's top of the line.
Amanda
You need a reality show commentary podcast because look at this. This passion.
Brooke
Olivia's new season of the Challenge is about to come out July 30th.
Amanda
I love her so much, and I am so excited to see that. She's a queen. Gag it. She deserves that so bad.
Brooke
Yeah.
Amanda
So Kylie Jenner followed Timothy Shalam Ground, and I need an SSRI or a gun and. No, but, like, dead ass. We love you guys so much. This episode has been like a roller coaster, and my dogs are out looking at your tonal. My dog. And also the 0.5 I already know is giving me hooves. I don't have hooves. They are big. A little bigger than normal, but that's okay. We have a community.
Brooke
These feet, what size?
Amanda
Nine and a three quarters.
Brooke
Be honest. I'm trying to get some shoes.
Amanda
Like nine. Nine and a half if it runs small. Okay. But with this toenail right now that's five inches longer than my toe. I think 13. I've got to sand it down.
Brooke
But, like, seriously, this has been so fun.
Amanda
We love you guys so much. And. And we thank you so much for your love. And to all of those people with opinions. Hell yeah, dude. You keep them coming, but you only got five more episodes left to do it all.
Brooke
Don't tell them that. I feel like they'll really hit the ground running.
Amanda
Yeah, I guess that's true. It's just. We are. We are in a countdown to the end of a beautiful, arguably, like the most amazing and pivotal chapter of my life. And. And yeah, I'm excited for Australia, Canada. I love you.
Brooke
We had good intentions.
Amanda
We really did. And never say never. You know what I mean?
Brooke
Never say never. Really.
Amanda
Never say never with anything. But I'm just so excited to see where we go and where we grow. And yeah, we love you guys so much and we will. For now.
Brooke
Is it Earthquaking talk to to you?
Amanda
Are we having an earthquake?
Brooke
Why do we both think that?
Amanda
Well, I thought that because you thought that.
Brooke
I. Well, I felt it. I swear. I was a 3.4. We love you guys.
Amanda
For now. We are still able to say that we will talk to you in the next episode of the canceled podcast, which will be in Australia or with Trevi. I don't know when the fuck these are coming out or how they're coming out, but I love you guys so much.
Podcast Summary: "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield" - Episode 126: "The Truth About Cancelled Ending…"
Release Date: July 8, 2025
In Episode 126 of "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield," the hosts delve deep into the emotional and logistical aspects surrounding the conclusion of their long-running podcast. This heartfelt episode offers listeners an intimate glimpse into their personal struggles, the impact of public scrutiny, and their aspirations for the future.
The episode opens with Brooke and Amanda addressing the difficult decision to end the podcast, a move that has been emotionally taxing for both hosts.
Amanda (00:10): "I honestly really thought that when we filmed that episode... it would make things better."
Expressing her initial hope that ending the podcast would alleviate the pressures they faced, Amanda shares her disappointment when reality did not align with her expectations.
Brooke (00:53): "Yes, I do know what you mean."
Brooke empathizes with Amanda's feelings, reinforcing their mutual understanding of the challenges ahead.
Both hosts discuss the relentless negativity and drama that have overshadowed their personal lives and mental health.
Amanda (03:02): "I just can't... it's just so miserable. It's so hateful."
Amanda highlights the adverse effects of public criticism, emphasizing the deep emotional strain it has caused.
Brooke (04:58): "I think staying in it is so untrue to myself because the only reason I would stay in it was to reach a goal or form money or to prove a point."
Brooke reflects on the authenticity of their journey, questioning whether their motivations have shifted from genuine passion to external pressures.
The conversation shifts to their realization that continuing the podcast was detrimental to their well-being.
Amanda (05:43): "So, like, how hard do you really want to see me?"
Amanda expresses her profound distress over the situation, underscoring the necessity of stepping away for their mental health.
Brooke (07:57): "I'm overwhelmed mentally unstable with no outside influences."
Brooke candidly admits her mental state, acknowledging that the podcast's demands were exacerbating her instability.
The hosts reminisce about the positive aspects and personal growth facilitated by the podcast, despite its challenges.
Amanda (14:35): "It just hit me. I literally was, like, scream, sobbing."
Amanda shares a moment of clarity where gratitude for the podcast's role in their lives overcomes her sadness.
Brooke (22:35): "It's exactly what Canceled was meant to be, just a scrapbook of our struggles."
Brooke appreciates the podcast as a documentation of their personal and professional journeys.
Brooke and Amanda discuss their plans post-podcast, focusing on healing, personal projects, and maintaining their friendship.
Amanda (35:13): "I'm definitely pursuing much more of a Hawaiian life, but full time."
Amanda reveals her intention to relocate to Hawaii, seeking peace and a fresh start away from the podcast's limelight.
Brooke (44:23): "It's announced we’re leaving in four days."
Brooke humorously addresses unexpected life changes, reflecting the uncertainty that accompanies their transition.
The hosts acknowledge their fans' unwavering support while grappling with ongoing negativity from detractors.
Amanda (19:17): "We have to get out of the rat race of... we can't chase the drama."
Emphasizing the importance of distancing themselves from the tumultuous environment that the podcast has become.
Brooke (19:25): "It's hard. I can't handle it."
Brooke succinctly captures the overwhelming nature of dealing with external negativity.
As the episode concludes, Brooke and Amanda express profound gratitude to their listeners and reflect on the significance of the podcast in their lives.
Amanda (30:35): "It's going to be so big and beautiful, and we hope that you join us for."
Amanda looks forward to future endeavors, inviting fans to continue supporting them in new capacities.
Brooke (78:36): "We had good intentions... Never say never."
Brooke underscores their positive intentions and leaves the door open for potential future collaborations.
Episode 126 serves as an emotional farewell from "Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield," encapsulating the hosts' struggles with fame, mental health, and the desire for personal growth. Through candid conversations and reflective insights, Brooke and Amanda provide a sincere explanation for the podcast's end, promising a hopeful outlook for their futures. This episode not only marks the closure of a significant chapter in their lives but also celebrates the authenticity and resilience they've maintained throughout their journey.