96: PAIGE IS GETTING BACK WITH HER EX

Summary

Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield - Episode 96: "PAIGE IS GETTING BACK WITH HER EX"

Release Date: September 26, 2024

Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield
Produced by: Cancelled & Audioboom Studios

---

1. Episode Kickoff and Personal Updates

The episode begins with a warm welcome from host Paige, setting the stage for a candid and intimate discussion. Tana and Brooke immediately dive into personal updates, sharing their hectic schedules and upcoming tour plans.

• Brooke Schofield shares her recent hectic travel schedule:
  "I was downstairs watching the last episode of Canceled, and I'm like, this is my last hurrah before tour. Like, I'm not. Whatever." ([02:14])

• Tana Mongeau expresses excitement about their imminent tour:
  "We're about to be in Springfield, Missouri... We're flying to Vermont tomorrow." ([03:55])

2. Recalling the "Rainbow Tarp" Episode

The hosts reminisce about a particularly chaotic previous episode, affectionately dubbed the "Rainbow Tarp" episode, highlighting the challenges they faced while filming under pressure.

• Brooke Schofield reflects on the episode's difficulty:
  "It made for what I thought to be a really great episode." ([01:31])

• Tana Mongeau praises the storytelling:
  "I love that. That's a really beautiful story." ([02:09])

3. Presidential Debate Commentary

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to dissecting the recent presidential debate, with a focus on Kamala Harris's performance and Donald Trump's contentious remarks.

• Tana Mongeau critiques Harris's demeanor:
  "It's just like the rigged election. I'm like, you guys cannot lose anything." ([05:00])

• Brooke Schofield analyzes Trump's bizarre claims:
  "I think there's something that's gonna feel... There's people out there that genuinely believe there are abortions happening after nine months." ([07:15])

The hosts discuss the viral moment where Trump likened policies to "eating dogs and cats," emphasizing the absurdity and the rapid spread of such misinformation through memes.

• Brooke Schofield highlights the meme-ability of political statements:
  "This is why I love the Internet. Because who the fuck figures this out?" ([07:15])

4. Political Memes and Social Media Reactions

Tana and Brooke delve into how political events are quickly transformed into memes, reflecting on the impact of social media on public perception.

• Brooke Schofield remarks on the viral nature of political memes:
  "You're not gonna have your ear out. Exactly." ([06:06])

• Tana Mongeau connects meme culture to political discourse:
  "She's only had one tucked behind her ear too." ([05:00])

5. Paige’s Personal Journey: Relapsing and Reconnecting

The core of the episode centers around Paige's personal experience of relapsing and deciding to get back with her ex. This segment is marked by deep emotional vulnerability and honest storytelling.

• Paige opens up about her relapse:
  "I texted him. I said, hi, I'm off my meds." ([17:27])

• Brooke Schofield expresses concern and support:
  "Let's air it out. Good for you." ([17:19])

Paige narrates the progression of rekindling her relationship, from initial conversations to spending significant time together, ultimately leading to realizations about the health of the relationship.

• Paige shares her experiences:
  "We spent like the whole day together. We went prancing around Santa Monica farmers market. Went, got coffee together, worked on his car." ([25:40])

• Tana Mongeau offers empathetic advice:
  "But that's the difference. This time I do have someone else." ([27:34])

6. Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms

The discussion naturally transitions into topics of mental health, with both hosts sharing their struggles and coping mechanisms. Brooke candidly talks about her gambling problem, while Paige discusses her approach to managing her mental health.

• Brooke Schofield admits her gambling issues:
  "That's why I have a gambling problem now. I get all comes out." ([18:23])

• Paige reflects on her mental state:
  "I think my life has been really boring lately." ([18:15])

7. Real Estate Adventures: Brooke’s House Tour Scam

Brooke recounts a recent experience where she attempted to tour her dream house in Las Vegas, only to be scammed by misleading real estate advertisements.

• Brooke Schofield describes the misleading house tour:
  "It's a grand desert home... the walls of this entire house are purple suede." ([53:35])

• Tana Mongeau empathizes with Brooke's frustration:
  "I think it's just someone who's a little wild." ([55:04])

This segment underscores the challenges of navigating online real estate listings and the prevalence of deceptive marketing tactics.

8. Social Media Phenomena and Trends

The hosts discuss various social media trends and phenomena, including TikTok challenges and viral content, reflecting on how these trends influence their lives and public perception.

• Brooke Schofield mentions viral trends:
  "Jelly Beans sweets could walk... It's all giving ketamine to me, too." ([40:25])

• Paige shares her thoughts on social media alterations:
  "The prince of the new digital realities." ([36:07])

9. Reflections on Fame and Influence

Towards the end of the episode, Tana and Brooke reflect on their experiences with fame, influence, and the responsibilities that come with being public figures in the digital age.

• Brooke Schofield muses about their influence:
  "It's brilliant. And... But then like me trying to reach the word count of an essay." ([45:08])

• Tana Mongeau contemplates their role:
  "We're just here to yap. I don't give a fuck. Like, we're fine." ([34:38])

10. Upcoming Tours and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts express excitement about their upcoming tours, promising engaging and energetic performances while maintaining their signature candidness.

• Brooke Schofield shares her excitement:
  "I'm extremely excited for our show in Vegas." ([57:03])

• Tana Mongeau concludes with optimism:
  "I'm so excited. We have so much work to do tonight." ([57:19])

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Brooke Schofield ([02:16]):
  "Dude, I am, like, the biggest idiot, like, literally ever."

• Paige ([17:27]):
  "I texted him. I said, hi, I'm off my meds."

• Brooke Schofield ([18:23]):
  "That's why I have a gambling problem now. I get all comes out."

• Tana Mongeau ([05:00]):
  "She's only had one tucked behind her ear too."

• Brooke Schofield ([07:15]):
  "This is why I love the Internet. Because who the fuck figures this out?"

• Paige ([25:40]):
  "We spent like the whole day together. We went prancing around Santa Monica farmers market."

• Brooke Schofield ([53:35]):
  "It's a grand desert home... the walls of this entire house are purple suede."

---

Conclusion

Episode 96 of Cancelled with Tana Mongeau & Brooke Schofield delivers a blend of political commentary, personal stories, and candid conversations about mental health and fame. The hosts' authentic interactions provide listeners with an engaging and relatable experience, highlighting their growth and resilience amidst the pressures of public life. Paige's heartfelt narrative about reconnecting with her ex adds depth to the episode, making it a poignant installment in their ongoing series.

For those who haven't listened, this episode offers a comprehensive glimpse into the lives of two navigating the complexities of influencer fame, personal relationships, and societal issues with unfiltered honesty and humor.

Transcript

[Tana Mongeau]

Ye juel mejor Black Friday at JCPenney Con Miles Yofertas toda la semana como.

[Brooke Schofield]

Electro domesticos pequenos cooks o Black and Decker.

[Tana Mongeau]

Acaturse noventa y nueve botas paradamas a.

[Brooke Schofield]

Solo dia Si nueve no venta inue ilo suetres mas populares de St. John's Bay. And nueve no ventay nueve itenemos el sueter en cominacion para tuperito mas Fiestas Grande Saros JCPenney Valle La Pena.

[Paige]

Every idea starts with a problem.

[Brooke Schofield]

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[Paige]

Hello, and welcome back to the canceled podcast.

[Brooke Schofield]

So I was exhaling vape smoke like a piece of.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that'll be good for my extreme illness.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, my bad. I'll go this way with it, honestly. Send her over. Send her over. Red Rover, I just want to thank you guys for showing up today.

[Tana Mongeau]

I didn't know I had the option.

[Jelly Roll]

You don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm just kidding. I wanted to be here. I love you guys so much.

[Brooke Schofield]

Brooke is wildly sick. Paige is wildly nervous, horrified. Don't be nervous. This feels almost like the. I always reference it as the rainbow tarp episode, which is just like, oh, my God, dude.

[Paige]

See, they only want me on.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, no, they're coming to get you. The rainbow tarp episode, which. There's gotta be a better name for it. It's kind of like how the other one's called the Marianne episode. Like, it's just, like, pivotal moments. I remember the rainbow tarp episode. I feel like we all were, like, dying and then somehow are, like, one third of each brain cell together. Like, it made for what I thought to be a really great episode.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that. That's a really beautiful story.

[Brooke Schofield]

We leave for tour tomorrow.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are you ready at all?

[Brooke Schofield]

Dude, I am, like, the biggest idiot, like, literally ever, though. Like, it's like, I can't blame anybody but myself. I was just downstairs watching the last episode of Canceled, and I'm like, I had just gotten back from Vegas, and I'm like, this is my last time going. This is my last hurrah. Before tour. Like, I'm not. Whatever. And I went to Vegas again this weekend, last week.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

Again, like seven days after filming that one final weekend before we leave, I go to Vegas and I'm like, I'm going to go for 24 hours on Friday. I left on Tuesday.

[Paige]

Never.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that. It's never 24 hours. And we know that by now.

[Brooke Schofield]

But like Friday to Tuesday. And you're going to leave only one full day to do everything before you leave for tour. And then it's like, I did that myself too.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I wasn't even in Vegas. I just did that because I just wanted to make things harder for myself.

[Paige]

Oh, yeah, we've been jam packed today. I'm not kidding. Like, doing cartwheels all over L. A. We have not had like a split second.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's like, breathe Monday. You could have come home from Vegas Monday. Yep. Dunce hat corner, Time out. It's just like.

[Paige]

So I didn't even, like, bother texting you to be like, hey, like, you want to come home anytime soon? I knew that you were going to leave at like, the last possible minute.

[Brooke Schofield]

Dude. I had like, a beautiful flight on Sunday too. And I just like, watched it pass. Like, just sat there and watched like, the flight about to happen and was like, there's Tetris on the sphere. Like, go home. It's so bad.

[Paige]

Gotta hang with the emoji sphere.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's just gonna hate L. A. I don't know what it is lately. Like, it was. The only reason I went is because I was like, it's Friday and there's nothing to do with this weekend.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's okay. We're about to be in Springfield, Missouri.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's actually.

[Tana Mongeau]

We start where? Vermont? Burlington.

[Brooke Schofield]

I can't stop. I can't. There's something that's gonna feel. So wait.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm excited. There's gonna be a reference in every place. We can talk about the. They're eating. They're eating the cats. They're eating the dogs.

[Brooke Schofield]

Where did he say it is?

[Paige]

Springfield. Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

It was that close to home. And I didn't know this. Not my Springfield, but a Springfield, Massachusetts. Holy fuck. Get me off the mic.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is that not the funniest. Oh, wait, we're going to Springfield, Missouri.

[Paige]

No, we're going to Springfield, Mass.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, really? And it's Springfield, but we could just fill. I don't know.

[Paige]

It still works.

[Brooke Schofield]

Dude, I spent an hour today, Mind you, I'm sitting here talking about how I have no fucking time. I spent an hour today trying to get Winnie to like do a trick for like the. They're eating the cats and dogs. TikTok. Like, that's hilarious. Suitcases to pack. Should we just start off talking about the debate? I feel like we fucking have to, honestly.

[Paige]

Yeah, it feels right.

[Tana Mongeau]

It was so good. Not good, but like so entertaining.

[Paige]

Kamala swept the floor with him.

[Tana Mongeau]

Absolutely. It's so. I don't know how far I want to take this, but it's actually embarrassing because the amount the people who are saying that she had a bugged earring. Did you see that?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I saw that everywhere. And then it got debunked. People thought it was the Bluetooth earring. But then it's a specific. I know, but it's just like.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's just like the, like the rigged election. I'm like, you guys cannot lose anything. And like, don't mean guys.

[Brooke Schofield]

If she had a blue tooth earring, if she had a Beats clip on, don't you think she would have been like that? She would have gotten like a forward facing blowout. Like, you're not gonna have your ear out. Exactly.

[Tana Mongeau]

She only had one tucked behind her ear too. Or like she had like.

[Paige]

If I had like adjusting some shit.

[Brooke Schofield]

If I had a Bluetooth earring live on the canceled stage, I would like braid my hair like this.

[Paige]

Like, you know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, what? Or like imagine she like got some words wrong.

[Brooke Schofield]

My favorite moment was when she turned to him and you know, with everything in her power, she wanted to say, you mother fucker.

[Tana Mongeau]

I almost think that was like deliberate. Like, you know how like in Obama's speech at the dnc, he did. He like did the little like crowd sizes and like it was like a joke. I think she did that almost on purpose.

[Brooke Schofield]

I agree, I agree.

[Tana Mongeau]

Especially because it's well known that her favorite curse word is motherfucker.

[Paige]

What's your favorite curse word?

[Brooke Schofield]

I can't say it.

[Paige]

It starts with an M and it ends with a not er.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, really?

[Paige]

And it was like the perfect beat with what she was saying. She's like this.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, this, man.

[Tana Mongeau]

But she was so brilliant. But honestly, it was a lot of like everyone was saying this, even the Fox. Like the guy on Fox went on and he was like, yeah, I bet they're celebrating over there, right? I'm like, when he sees that, he's.

[Brooke Schofield]

Going to literally jump the cats and dogs shit. And like the I have plans shit. The me, I had a concept. Can I tell you something right now? Last night I was awake until like 6am obviously scrambling around here trying to figure out if a black corset goes more with camo pants or a white corset for a show in Vermont where it literally doesn't even fucking matter. Pack the corset and go to bed. It was too late to text this to Paige. It was like 5am and I was embarrassed that I was still awake. And I was like, I'm not gonna send Paige a tick tock right now. Like, she'll be disappointed in me. You're literally my mom. I was like, it's too. I'm up past my bedtime and she'll be disappointed when she sees it in the morning.

[Paige]

Like, I know she was up until.

[Brooke Schofield]

7Am Anyway, I texted it to myself to remember.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's actually hilarious. And did you remember now?

[Brooke Schofield]

502:00Am Like, I was just too embarrassed to send it to Paige. But this is one of my favorite memes that's come from the election. That Trump's claim about people eating pets perfectly syncs to the Peanuts theme song.

[Tana Mongeau]

But how'd they figure that out?

[Paige]

Please.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know. But I love people. This is why I love the Internet. Because who the fuck figures this out? Are you ready? They're eating the dogs. The people that came in, they're eating the cats.

[Jelly Roll]

They're eating.

[Brooke Schofield]

They're eating the pits of the people that live there.

[Paige]

Like, Al.

[Brooke Schofield]

Figured that out within five minutes.

[Paige]

Have you seen people do that with like the intro to Chapel Rowan song?

[Tana Mongeau]

Which one?

[Paige]

Ultra Modern Girl.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know if I know it.

[Paige]

Oh, it's so good.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's the thing is it's like I knew Trump was gonna be Trumpy, but like, it surpassed my expectations.

[Paige]

Dude, he's just like a wind up toy. You pull the string and he has the same five phrases that he repeats every single time. The immigrants.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paige]

China, the wall, dude.

[Brooke Schofield]

So many people were like. And this is again how you know I'm so fucked in the head. Like, I had just come home from Vegas gambling all weekend, and then I found out too late that people were like betting on the election. Like sports betting or not the election. Oh, my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

You should now get time to bet on the election, though.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'd say, oh, my God, I'm going to.

[Paige]

Did you see? Well, yeah. You did see. Taylor endorsed Kamala.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, yeah, I did.

[Paige]

Huh.

[Brooke Schofield]

Speaking of cats.

[Paige]

Yep.

[Tana Mongeau]

Very said, childless cat lady.

[Brooke Schofield]

I love her.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you see that J.D. vance, his speech? He's like talking shit about like the people who basically he's like. And they're Just at home, these childless cat ladies. And everyone in the crowd was like, oh, that's not.

[Brooke Schofield]

And that's why Taylor said that in her thing, she is so deliberate, like, and just, like, intelligent.

[Tana Mongeau]

She was very deliberate in when she decided to endorse Kamala because, like, she's been withholding that information from us for a long time. And she chose right after, like, you know what I mean? Like, the best time ever when it's like, he's already down now. Let's just push it over the top.

[Paige]

Now I've got some insult to injury.

[Brooke Schofield]

It is crazy. Like, the Swifties pull. It's.

[Tana Mongeau]

She did say, like, she encourages everybody to do their own research and make their own decision. She didn't say vote for Kamala, right?

[Brooke Schofield]

But, like, if she wears blue, like, there are no blue tops at Zara from six months, like, it's just, like, by nature, so many people will, like, you know, that was a horrifying example. But again, I'm frightened.

[Paige]

You know, Trump's shaking in his boots, but.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then he's going to call the election.

[Brooke Schofield]

Does interest me.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm getting too passionate.

[Brooke Schofield]

Is like, how, like, Kamala's official TikTok is using, like, the dolphin meme, right? Like, and obviously this is all being so memed, because it is, like, a lot of shit that's going on in the political world right now is, like, so memeable. Reality television, right? Like, do you think that our generation is going to vote? Like, I hope they are. Or are they just, like, making TikToks and, like, watching?

[Paige]

I think a lot of people aren't actually gonna go out and vote.

[Brooke Schofield]

I hope they do. Thank you so much to SeatGeek for sponsoring today's episode of the canceled podcast. You guys have used my code so much that SeatGeek wanted to hook you up with a new special offer. Everyone can use my new code canceled 10 for 10 off any tickets on SeatGeek, whether you're a new customer or not. Concert season is back. Artists like Sabrina Carpenter, Billie Eilish, Charlie XCX and Post Malone are on tour. And you already know that SeatGeek is the best place to get tickets. I'm personally so excited to see Sabrina Carpenter perform Espresso Live later this year. No matter how many times you've bought tickets using SeatGeek before, cancelled, 10 is going to get you 10% off your next order. So take out your phone, open the SeatGeek app, and add code canceled 10 to your account. What are you waiting for? Do it now, because this offer is only available for a limited time use. Code cancel10 for 10% off tickets on SeatGeek. Thank you so much to SeatGeek for sponsoring today's episode of the canceled podcast. If you're a parent like me, you're always looking for ways to help your children thrive. I discovered a unique block set that my kids absolutely love. They're called Jelly Blocks. My kids love to squeeze, stretch and squish these blocks. They're filled with sand, foam, beads and crunchy stars and are completely safe for little ones. I love them because I don't have to worry while they play. They love them because they're so much fun. Your kids will love Jelly Blocks. Available now on Amazon.

[Jelly Roll]

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[Brooke Schofield]

I've been keeping up so hard with the Cody Ford and Tiana Robilard drama.

[Tana Mongeau]

See, that's something I don't know about.

[Brooke Schofield]

So we met Tiana in London.

[Paige]

Love her so fucking much.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm. I, like, weirdly, I've talked about this with Ty several times or something about her that's like, she's so magnetic.

[Paige]

I can't even describe it.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, I'm enamored by her. I think she's so beautiful. And like, I just really remember, like, hanging out with her and being like. But I feel this way, like, about you guys as well. Like, how can it. Like, how could anybody do that? Especially just their story. In the sense that, like, he cheated once behind the scenes and she said, if you do this again, I'm out. Like, she gave him, you know, like more of an opportunity than he even deserved. Still went on to get engaged to this man. Then he did it again. And she's mad that or he's mad that she brought it online. It's like, I want to mop the floor with you. Round one. So it's like, you know, right? And so now he's on some God forsaken podcast in someone's studio apartment that I don't know actually literally where it was. Immediate retraction, but. And he's on this whole fucking tangent about how a. That he would never take her back because of her going online brother and talking about it. And it's like, it's so funny how often men do that, like, where the fuck do you have the gall and the wherewithal to. And the ball? I love to fudgeing. Assume she would take your, like, bum cheating, lying ass back. Then he goes on this whole tangent about how she still has one of his Balenciaga jackets. Okay, but if all you're doing is flexing Gucci flip flops, it hit your in my socks thing. You can't come online and whine about one Balenciaga jacket like that.

[Paige]

Like, you cheated on her multiple times and you're worried about a jacket.

[Brooke Schofield]

You're also negating your entire, like, hotshot flexing image by, like, whining over, like, right?

[Paige]

Because if you're Mr. Moneybags, just go buy a new one.

[Brooke Schofield]

And then, then after jacket v1 gate. Come to find out.

[Tana Mongeau]

Come to find out.

[Brooke Schofield]

So first of all, he's dating, like, a girl immediately after being with her. So then it's like, did you even care about the engagement at all? And all the years.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, and isn't she already wearing Teyana's jacket?

[Brooke Schofield]

And so this girl also kind of resembles Tiana and is posting with this guy. I've just never understood a bitch who is immediately ready. Sorry, girl, I. I'm not lobbying any hate here, but it is hard for me to wrap my head around a woman who wants to immediately be with a man who just, like, cheated on someone, especially in, like, the realm of engagement. And, you know, he's probably like, oh, well, she's crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's like, yeah, that's what I was gonna say. In those situations, it's always the guy telling them a completely different story that nobody knows.

[Brooke Schofield]

That is fair. But, like, this one is so public that it's like one plus one equals two on your four year.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know, but I've been stupid before.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's fair.

[Tana Mongeau]

And so not defending her team.

[Brooke Schofield]

But then this bitch posts on her grid in Tiana's jacket. So you had the gall and the wherewithal after your new great value, up and up version of Tiana is posting in the jacket to then be fudgeing mad about your Balenciaga jacket. Like, those equals like, you got a refund.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, is the jacket a women's jacket? Like a. Like, is it clearly like a girl's jacket or is it, like a mystery?

[Paige]

I know. You're so passionate.

[Brooke Schofield]

I am so, so passionate because I just, like, fucking love Tiana.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do you know what I'm saying? Like, is it. Could it be. Is it his jacket that they both wore? Or is it her jacket?

[Brooke Schofield]

It's so funny because it could be a 3XL and I'd be like, it's her jacket. Like, I don't give up.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. I don't. Like, I'm not defending the situation at all. I'm just trying to understand because if I saw a girl's. If a guy. This actually happened to me recently, I had a guy be like, oh, you can wear like, my ex's thing. I'm like, no, I can't. And I got so mad. Oh, my God.

[Paige]

Do you know my ex?

[Brooke Schofield]

Guys do that. Like, that's happened to me. Guys do that. Like, what the.

[Tana Mongeau]

You could just wear theirs. It'll fit you. And it's like, do you not know why that's not okay to say to me?

[Paige]

My ex has been wearing my fucking Vivienne Westwood necklace for the past eight months.

[Brooke Schofield]

Paige, that's a gay person.

[Tana Mongeau]

And there's nothing wrong with that.

[Paige]

You know, I asked for that shit back to. And he goes, oh, no, I lost it. I'm like, I know you have it hidden on your fucking pillow with his claw clips, babe. With like five of my thongs.

[Brooke Schofield]

You want to talk about your relapse?

[Paige]

Oh, God.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, yeah.

[Paige]

We just say it's so funny because, like, we're on such opposite sides of Tick Tock. Like, you guys have that going on. And you know what I have? What? Rock competitions. What the fuck is a rock cleaning competition?

[Brooke Schofield]

What do you mean? We're like two people clean a rock and.

[Paige]

Are you on this side? It's like a bunch of people.

[Brooke Schofield]

Aaron felt like a weird attack.

[Paige]

Yeah, like, I don't know, autism talk. But it's all these people who are like, racing each other to like, clean and polish rocks as fast as they can to like, see who's reflects. Like a mirror first.

[Tana Mongeau]

Should we do that on stage?

[Brooke Schofield]

I was just going to say that. That's so weird. You took the words out of my mouth.

[Paige]

Like, you guys are on drama talk and I'm on.

[Brooke Schofield]

The loser has to chew it until their teeth look like what? I won't say because I'm grown. Oh, you know, I know what you were gonna say. Cup. There was like four options. They all fit. Who's to say I'm not on OT talk either, though, you know? Because it's like, I just wanna be. I just wanna. I just wanna. I just, just want to, like, if I see one more of those dolphins, If I see one more of those dolphins, I'm actually gonna like, forget the Alphabet, dude.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have forgotten the Alphabet.

[Paige]

But you know the Greek one?

[Tana Mongeau]

I do. That's my pick. Me.

[Brooke Schofield]

Will you tell us about your relapse, please? But I know you have to be careful, and obviously you can explain why you have to be careful.

[Paige]

No, I'm not even walking on eggshells.

[Brooke Schofield]

Let's air it out. Good for you.

[Paige]

All right, so. Oh, God. I even tell you this.

[Tana Mongeau]

How did this happen? Like, how. What was the first move? You. Oh, Paige, that's.

[Paige]

Okay. So I texted him.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's funny because I think rainbow tarp episode. God, make me stop referencing that. You were talking about how you were, like, clean off him, showing your cerebral.

[Tana Mongeau]

I said the ball was in your court and you were so powerful. So long as that was true.

[Paige]

Well, full relapse here. I've fully texted him. I said, hi, I'm off my meds.

[Tana Mongeau]

The things you never say to a man.

[Brooke Schofield]

It all centered around your mental health. Like. Like. Like sending back your cerebral when you're a good spot, but then saying, hi, I'm off my. Like, that's funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, like, I have to learn. It's kind of like, backhanded. Like, hey, I'm. I'm. I'm relaxing out of my mind, so I'm texting you.

[Paige]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brooke Schofield]

Were you just, like. Was just like the rose toy not hitting? Was it too overwhelming?

[Tana Mongeau]

And you were like, I obviously have to self harm.

[Paige]

No. If anything, I. Yeah, I think my life has been really boring lately.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's not even boring.

[Paige]

It's just been good and stable, which to me is like, yeah, we had.

[Tana Mongeau]

This talk last episode. Sometimes you just want to create.

[Paige]

I just had to, like, yeah, throw some spice in there.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, that's why I have a gambling problem now. I get all comes out.

[Paige]

Yeah, like you just swap one addiction for another. My current one's going to be this man. So texted him, I said, hi, I'm off my meds. He said, in a good way or a way that I shouldn't enable. And I said, probably shouldn't enable, but I want you to. So then this man facetimes me. Not even five seconds later, I'm like, oh, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

This is a beautiful love story. Something's brewing, and I hate to support it, but I know.

[Paige]

So he facetimes me. We have this whole conversation catching up, and he's like, well, what are you doing tonight? I'm not busy. If you want to come over, we can, like, talk, have a bottle of wine.

[Tana Mongeau]

So immediately talk and have a bottle of wine. Let's get serious here, Paige.

[Paige]

So I was like, yes, of course. I would love to have a mature, platonic friend conversation with you over a bottle of wine. I said, should I bring.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, you brought your knee pads. You know it.

[Paige]

I brought Scrabble.

[Brooke Schofield]

Why is it so much fun? You're like, see, you're spelling it out.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah, fuck me.

[Paige]

Yeah, right, right. I'm like, so what are we. Thank you.

[Brooke Schofield]

I couldn't get there at all.

[Paige]

And you know what? I know he watches too, because he confessed. So if you're watching, it's fine.

[Tana Mongeau]

Boo.

[Paige]

Right? So anyway, I go over there, we talk, we have wine, we talk again.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, it's like that?

[Paige]

Well, the next.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was it immediate?

[Paige]

No, no, no. We actually did talk. We had great conversations, great catch ups. He told me he watched the podcast.

[Brooke Schofield]

And do you know she holds his wiener when he pees?

[Tana Mongeau]

Which I think that's not weird at all. Don't let her make you think that's.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm not. I'm sorry. Because who the hell am I to shame anyone for anything, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm just like, yeah, we know what you've done.

[Paige]

Wait, I also want to know. I texted you the last episode that I was editing. Or like, watching you say something weird during sex and you never text me back.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know I left you a seat over me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Why don't you tell her what it was?

[Paige]

Can you please just. Right now, just. I need to know.

[Brooke Schofield]

I need to know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Tell her what it was.

[Paige]

I'll share one with you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Go first. Go first.

[Paige]

Wait, will you share one?

[Tana Mongeau]

If it depends on what yours is.

[Paige]

Okay, okay, okay. Can you start? Because I need to reference the degree of severity.

[Brooke Schofield]

This is okay for those who don't know because I might cut it out of the next podcast. I still have the liberty, you know what I mean? To, like, cut it out of the episode you're referencing.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

I was essentially saying that I was having this conversation with Ty. We somehow both said something that we, like, will say to someone when we're having sex. Ty said his and then I said mine. And I thought, like, I was just saying something like, not that bad. And then, like, Ty couldn't look me and the eyes were in our, like, type shit. So then it made me self conscious about.

[Paige]

I don't think.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I don't think it's something you should say online. Wait, you should know it.

[Paige]

I was going to say it with your chest into the mic.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay, I'm going to have to believe the last two words. So, Oscar, do this one on your own.

[Paige]

You got this.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay. We can Leave in the first two words.

[Paige]

Oh, no.

[Brooke Schofield]

Fuck no. Yeah, I actually can't. And it's so funny because you know me, like, I come on here and literally talk about avatar porn. So it's like, Ty made me feel bad.

[Paige]

Okay, well, let's rewrite this.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't think it's that bad. Now that I'm thinking about it and I think I know what it was.

[Brooke Schofield]

Here's what I want to say. Okay. Obviously, like, I'm 26. Okay.

[Paige]

We don't need to back story.

[Brooke Schofield]

In this amount of time, I've been able to kind of figure out what. What I think works. You know, like your. And then you could add. But like.

[Paige]

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's crazy.

[Paige]

That's crazy.

[Brooke Schofield]

Not even just like. Okay, but again, this is like a mad Lib. Like, it's interchangeable for, like, seven different things. Like, it doesn't have. Like, that's one of seven.

[Tana Mongeau]

But then I thought she said. Then I thought she said, like.

[Paige]

And what about my, my.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, it's yours, but it belongs to you.

[Paige]

No, you're just the one saying it, babe.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, and I think some crazy. Give us one of yours.

[Paige]

I feel like that's not even. Well, actually, that one's, like, a little.

[Brooke Schofield]

I just want to clarify that. That's like one of, like, 20 rotatable phrases, and I'm gonna throw many.

[Tana Mongeau]

Can you text it to me?

[Brooke Schofield]

Because I need.

[Tana Mongeau]

I need new ones to try out.

[Paige]

3.

[Brooke Schofield]

I had a third point as to why this is okay.

[Paige]

I feel like mine aren't, like, that crazy.

[Brooke Schofield]

I say a lot of crazy. I just say, like, obviously it's me. I can like.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is crazy, though, how different guy to guy will be. Because, like, one guy, you can, like. You can be like, daddy, and the next guy's like, why the would you say that?

[Brooke Schofield]

Huh?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, not in my experience. Just what I've heard.

[Brooke Schofield]

So no one else is here?

[Paige]

I don't really have.

[Tana Mongeau]

Good one. Like, I'm not.

[Paige]

I just not, like, really.

[Tana Mongeau]

That vocal.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I feel like you're very.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I just hit some, like, Mariah Carey. Like, some whistle tones.

[Paige]

Yeah, no, I just hit the classic.

[Brooke Schofield]

I hope you know I'm not doing this every single time. Sorry to cut you off. I know I didn't. Oh, this is good.

[Paige]

She keeps. I'm saved by the bell. I'm just thinking about, like, Bill and Jill watching this.

[Tana Mongeau]

Why not click out Bill and Jill.

[Paige]

Yum. Please. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God, you make me so fucking wet. Hide me, die.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'll hit a good.

[Brooke Schofield]

I need more therapy.

[Paige]

I hit that one two nights ago, and I was like, me, me. And then he was like, wait, Really? I go, wait. Actually, no, no, no. Like, I came to my senses.

[Brooke Schofield]

Literally. Came to your.

[Tana Mongeau]

So long as you're not well.

[Paige]

Red Rover, Red Rover. Okay, before I continue my story, you know how people.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry for the segue.

[Paige]

No, please. You know how people who have, like, had amputated limbs get, like, phantom limb?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Paige]

So I. I lost a nail going from, like, this distance to scratch my face.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's really funny.

[Brooke Schofield]

Phantom. Can. Can I know a little more about Phantom Limbaugh? So you're telling me right now, and I don't actually know how to demonstrate without being offensive.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, don't.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm not. I'm actually gonna sit back down with my limbs.

[Tana Mongeau]

Why did that feel backhanded? I'm gonna actually use my limbs.

[Brooke Schofield]

No. You're saying that phantom limb would possess me being like, oh, my water.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, it's like if your leg just.

[Brooke Schofield]

Got chopped off, you.

[Tana Mongeau]

They can get pain in their leg even though it's gone.

[Paige]

Oh, my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

They'll be like, oh, my knee hurts. Hurts.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, my water.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't even know what happened.

[Brooke Schofield]

She just reached for water bottle without using her arm.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

But, like, essentially, like, imagine like, right now, I was like, oh, my baby. And then I was like, that's what I thought. Phantom limb.

[Paige]

Brooke Brook, if you have, like, an amputated limb, like, you sometimes still, like, get the sensation that it's there. Or, like, you can feel pain or, like, nerve ending things and it's not there.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, you know how when you cut a lizard's tail off, it can still move its tail? Anyway, keep going.

[Brooke Schofield]

What do you mean? What do you mean I can still move its tail?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, the tail will keep moving even though it's not attached to the lizard anymore.

[Paige]

Oh, it's like chickens with their head.

[Brooke Schofield]

But that's kind of like how when people cut off their finger and they, like, put it on ice, what's the.

[Tana Mongeau]

Fish that you can eat that, like, is still moving when you eat it?

[Brooke Schofield]

I'll never know or be a part of that.

[Paige]

Okay, that's terrifying. But anyway, yeah, so I keep itching my face from out here because I have phantom nails.

[Brooke Schofield]

Back to the man.

[Tana Mongeau]

Back to the computer.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay. Yeah.

[Paige]

So we talked, you know, had a night. We really caught up. Yeah, talked horizontally.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Some good combos. And then the next morning, I did my Classic. I roll over, I grabbed my phone, call my car, call my Uber. And he was like, what are you doing? I was like, oh, I'm just gonna go home. He's like, well, no. He's like, I want to go get ice cream. I was like, okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

For breakfast?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I like him.

[Paige]

I don't.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh.

[Paige]

So he was like, she does.

[Brooke Schofield]

Look at her kicking her little feet.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know.

[Paige]

Feet are planted. 10 toes down.

[Brooke Schofield]

10 toes down.

[Paige]

We spent like. Essentially we spent like the whole day together. We went prancing around Santa Monica farmers market. Went, got coffee together, worked on his car. I was like, do I look like Megan Fox from Transformers?

[Tana Mongeau]

You literally do.

[Brooke Schofield]

Thank you.

[Paige]

But I like, didn't leave his house until like 5:30 or 6:00pm Next day, wake up, go about my day. I get a text from him at 5:00 and he's like, what are you doing tonight? Can you be at the palladium by 8:30 to go see McGee? And I was like, honestly? Sure. So went to a concert with him. Had a time straight out of like a rom com movie. Except for there was no calm. Nothing about this is funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're back in it.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. She's like. And that's why I'm walking with a limp today. Just getting.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are you happy?

[Paige]

Honestly?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Okay. And I will be real about this. Like, I think now that I've had some time away from him, I can actually see it for what it is. And like, I don't have him. There's no limerence here now. No, I'm serious. I'm serious.

[Tana Mongeau]

But that's what I kept saying when I kept going. It.

[Brooke Schofield]

Is the tale as old this time, Is it? I think so. It's.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's.

[Brooke Schofield]

I get it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Because you really believe it. I really believed it. And like I knew what it was, but it still hurt me the same. Even though I knew, I just, I was more aware of.

[Brooke Schofield]

I tell this to people often. Like, if you have a buddy and it's just a buddy and that's all you want it to be, I think you should still. And I get it. Some people can't like two people at once. But like be going on a date or two or like imploring other things.

[Tana Mongeau]

What'S the most important thing? She would tell me that all the time and I never listen to her because I'm like, I already have somebody. I don't want to put the energy into it. It. If I had done that, I could have avoided my whole Mr. Big situation.

[Paige]

Well, that's the difference. This time I do have someone else.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, good.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are you.

[Paige]

What? Who? I met him literally.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I mean this with my whole fucking chest. As if they took man one to a lab and Elon Musk made him again. Like, I. Like I've never seen. They look identical. They act identical. Like, it is like fucked. It's.

[Paige]

But man number two really likes me. That's a difference then.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's all you need.

[Paige]

So I met him at my friend Nikki's wedding and we immediately hit it off. Like instant chemistry.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hello. You told me about this. Yes. Your. Your version of my.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Brooke Schofield]

Straight out of saying that she was. That she was attracted to this man because she walked in carry into karaoke and he was cleaning out to chapel Roan, like performing like. But saying like, I wanted to fuck this guy so bad because he was cleaning out is like the.

[Paige]

I have to be so honest. I went this entire. Like I went the entire night talking to him thinking that we were just. We were cleaning out together. I really had no idea. Yes. And then he started kissing me and I went, wait, what's going on? And I was pleasantly surprised.

[Tana Mongeau]

Biggest fantasy.

[Paige]

I know. So everything's good around here.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's good.

[Paige]

Seriously. I think like now I can approach it. Like I've taken him off the pedestal. There's no limerence here. I think I can like really see it for what it is now. And like I see him in such like a different light.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. So long as you just. Just don't spend too much time with him. That's like. That's a mistake I would make. I'd go right back to normal.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I would be there fucking five days a week. And then I'd want to go and like die back.

[Paige]

I'm supposed to see him tonight.

[Tana Mongeau]

Honestly though, I'm proud of you. Keep the two.

[Brooke Schofield]

I actually a little game right now. Even like say you're gonna see him and then bail last minute. Like give him a little of his own medicine. Haze him a little. I know you're watching this. I don't give up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

Motherfucker.

[Paige]

Do you know. Never mind. Right?

[Brooke Schofield]

I know. I don't think he likes me. So I'm just honing in on that. Cleaning in on that, if you will.

[Paige]

He does really like you.

[Brooke Schofield]

Ass. I was going to say take a nap. You're weird.

[Paige]

Like, you guys should go hang out. But yeah. So I relapsed big time.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's okay. It happens to the best of us.

[Brooke Schofield]

It does. It really.

[Tana Mongeau]

I Sorry, I just had war flashbacks. Literally.

[Paige]

I. I saw it happen.

[Brooke Schofield]

Today's episode is sponsored by Better Health Help. Kids are always learning and growing, but as adults, sometimes we lose that curiosity. What's something you'd like to learn? Gardening? A new language? Or maybe how to finally beat your best friend in bowling? Therapy can help you reconnect with your sense of wonder. Because your back to school era can come at any age. It's helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. I love therapy. Listen, y'all know I need it. Always. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comtana to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.comtana thank you, BetterHelp, for sponsoring today's episode of the canceled podcast.

[Jelly Roll]

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[Brooke Schofield]

Seattle, WA if you're a parent like me, you're always looking for ways to help your children thrive. I discovered a unique block set that my kids absolutely love. They're called Jelly Blocks. My kids love to squeeze, stretch, and squish these blocks. They're filled with sand, foam, beads, and crunchy stars and are completely safe for little ones. I love them because I don't have to worry while they play. They love them because they're so much fun. Your kids will love Jelly Blocks. Available now on Amazon. I have so many random topics for us. Like, it's actually insane.

[Paige]

Me too. I have some goofy ones.

[Brooke Schofield]

Do you guys know what Tom Brady looks like from memory?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, of course.

[Paige]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, if you close your eyes, you can really picture Tom Brady right now. Right.

[Paige]

I'm from Massachusetts, so last night he.

[Brooke Schofield]

Was like the COVID of my Netflix screen. Like, just his face.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do you know how much he made? Sorry, no.

[Brooke Schofield]

I kind of want to know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Working on myself. I'm working on myself.

[Paige]

You're Perfect. Say it.

[Tana Mongeau]

They gave him a 375 million dollar contract to be the correspondent for Fox.

[Brooke Schofield]

And everyone. It was kind of interesting in the football community because everyone thought he was just kind of like this, I'm out, like, gonna go be on a farm or whatever. I don't. That's what Makoa tells me. I couldn't.

[Tana Mongeau]

He tried to leave. What Football for his wife, and then she left him for jiu jitsu instructor.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, I forgot about that.

[Paige]

And he kisses his son on the lips.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, makes out.

[Brooke Schofield]

So obviously it was, like, rumored he was dating Kim Kardashian. Like, even, like, Nikki Glazer on the roast was saying, like, I want to you so bad. Like, it is commonly discussed that, like, Tom Brady's hot. Like, do you guys think Tom Brady's hot?

[Tana Mongeau]

I think he looks like something happened to him.

[Brooke Schofield]

I think it's like, when someone's not.

[Tana Mongeau]

In a bad way.

[Brooke Schofield]

Perfect. When someone's, like, hilarious. Too perfect.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, the Kendall thing creeps me out.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, BLEEP this. Obviously, like, oh, like, yes. It's like Uncanny Valley to me. But now I just look shaming Tom Brady. He's obviously hot to the rest of America. Obviously.

[Tana Mongeau]

Traditionally hot. I don't like when he smiles. I feel like it looks like his face hurts.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like that one. Like, it looks like that. He was, like, made in a factory.

[Tana Mongeau]

For sure hot, though. I don't know what I'm talking about. He's hot.

[Paige]

Yeah. No, he was in there, but, like, Channing Tatum. I feel the same way. Everyone's like, he's so hot. I'm like, doesn't do it for me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Isn't like. Isn't like cookie cutter sexy? Sexy. Sexy. He has, like, kind of like, grit. Yeah, he has some grit. He has, like, fucked up teeth. Not fucked up, but, like.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay, I don't want to be the sun.

[Paige]

Please cut me saying, Brooke, you are so funny. Please leave it. It's so funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

He doesn't. I just mean I just thought I.

[Brooke Schofield]

Want to be Tom Brady's son. So, I mean, we're really doing great over here. No, it's good that you did. And then I reset it. Can I tell you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Can I tell you the worst thing about the canceled podcast?

[Brooke Schofield]

What?

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, maybe just a top three. I always, always miss every good joke she has because I'm just. I can't pay attention to what she's saying sometimes.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, that's not what I meant.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's not what I meant.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, stop. I'm getting ready right I'm getting read. That's not what I meant. No, I meant like I'm.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm just.

[Tana Mongeau]

Absent minded and I'm always like, for some reason thinking about like where the conversation is going to be in 10 minutes. So like sometimes I'll miss like her best jokes and then I. So it sucks so bad to watch it back and realize I could have responded to something so funny. I missed it.

[Brooke Schofield]

But also like I said, while we're.

[Tana Mongeau]

Both talking at the same time so I don't hear it and I'm like, oh God, that was a good one. What was on the last episode, we.

[Brooke Schofield]

Always just talk about though, like, I'm always like, I'm just swinging and then sometimes I hit. Like I just, I'm always saying, you know what I mean? So it's not like so funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that's my biggest thing. I need to pay closer attention to what you're saying. And I know that's my job.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, I think it's. We're just here to yap. I don't give a fuck. Like, we're fine. Okay. Can we also, I. Not to circle all the way back to the presidential debate, but like I've been seeing my. A lot of my for you page as well right now is like the guys who go out and street interview the Trump supporters and like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And they just don't even.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, yeah, it's. No, it's fucking insane. Like, they'll be like, how do you feel that Biden said, you know, you can abort a baby after birth. And then like they'll ask the Trump support and they're like, Biden for prison, that's horrible. And they'll be like, wait, Trump said it? And they're like, actually, that's amazing. Like, it's just the most insane shit I've ever seen. And then Trump said this on the debate last night, which is, are there people out there, like, I am like boggled by this. Scrabbled by it, if you will. Okay. That there are people out there that genuinely believe there are abortions happening after nine months. You're telling me people are out there believing that they're like yeeting the baby and snapping its neck at nine months?

[Tana Mongeau]

I think there are. Or I mean, now there are. Because, you know, Timmy in Missouri was.

[Paige]

Like, what Trump say during the debate. He was like, and they execute the babies after they're born.

[Tana Mongeau]

He said, I bet. Even after birth.

[Paige]

Yeah. So random. But I saw a TikTok the other day and it was like, I want to hear your weirdest, like, hear me out for a person or a character.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dinner table conversation.

[Paige]

Okay. I want to go around and say like your weirdest. Hear me out. Either like a person, an actor, like unconventionally attractive, or like a character, someone.

[Brooke Schofield]

Weird, but just a. Oh, I was about to just give you hot takes. Yeah, anything but like. Or is it a person, like someone that you'd fuck. Okay, so we're some. Hear me out. A person.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

Or something or a character.

[Paige]

Okay, I can start.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

I think you should. It's right.

[Paige]

Rango.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

Isn't that like that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Who also likes the. The uncle from Lion King.

[Paige]

Scar.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. So, Paige, I like him.

[Brooke Schofield]

I completely, completely, completely understand.

[Tana Mongeau]

He looks.

[Paige]

That is. That. Looks like every ex boyfriend I've ever had.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, you ate with Ringo? You ate with Ringo.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't even know if I can talk for sure.

[Paige]

Look at him in the cowboy hat.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, I have so many.

[Paige]

Yep. Scrawny little thing.

[Brooke Schofield]

Huh?

[Tana Mongeau]

Wow.

[Paige]

I need to.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

I said Scar from the Lion King.

[Brooke Schofield]

But now I gotta look that up.

[Paige]

So hot.

[Brooke Schofield]

Scar or Aaron's. Looking it up, I guess. Ass.

[Tana Mongeau]

I like when we use this. Makes me feel like we're Theo.

[Paige]

I know.

[Tana Mongeau]

H. Sexy.

[Brooke Schofield]

No.

[Paige]

Wouldn't struggle or resist you.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you have to know his personality.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay, I have one where I also agree that you have to know the personality is this beast.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, are we allowed to say it's a cartoon?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, Squidward.

[Paige]

You lost me.

[Tana Mongeau]

No.

[Brooke Schofield]

First of all, what Who's.

[Tana Mongeau]

How would you. You would not even get along.

[Brooke Schofield]

And there's a lot of different. You know, I think I already did.

[Tana Mongeau]

The whole handsome Squidward thing.

[Paige]

Yeah, you've already been around the block.

[Brooke Schofield]

Handsome squid. No, but just Squidward. Like. Like regular Squidward. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what? You know what a big nose means?

[Paige]

I was just about to say this on his nose.

[Brooke Schofield]

What's that?

[Tana Mongeau]

That's not where I'm going. What is that?

[Brooke Schofield]

What are other Hear me outs.

[Paige]

Oh, Paul Dano. For like an actual person. Maybe specifically as the Riddler.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, you. I don't think you have me with this.

[Paige]

See, that's why it's my weird. Hear me out.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know what that is. Oh, oh, oh.

[Tana Mongeau]

Got it. Hello, Voldemort.

[Brooke Schofield]

Now. And I like even know, but I just need to look again. Yeah, I get completely get it, actually.

[Tana Mongeau]

I look. I like. He looks like he's really been through some things.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know if you'd want to sit on his face, though. It might be anticlimactic I need to look up one.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, no. Like I'm into smooth ride. I'm super.

[Tana Mongeau]

And you slide right off.

[Paige]

Never mind. Too far. He's like, got a drain on his face.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was Voldemort.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm doing some market research over here before I announce one. Right, right, right.

[Paige]

I do have this weird fetish. I think I've told you before. Like this kink where I really want to fuck someone. Like in a scream mask, but almost like not. Or like Michael Myers, but I don't.

[Tana Mongeau]

Know, like he's wearing it. Oh, you don't know who's under it?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. I would the Burger King.

[Tana Mongeau]

Tell them the people back at Cerebral about.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I need to check that. Weird. But I mean.

[Paige]

Okay. Okay, thank you.

[Brooke Schofield]

I think that's like hot and iconic, right?

[Paige]

Like Michael Myers.

[Tana Mongeau]

So hot.

[Paige]

That is a hear me out.

[Brooke Schofield]

That doesn't even feel like a hear me out. To me, Michael Myers could get it every single day. That is.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I don't. With a wide neck.

[Paige]

So hot.

[Brooke Schofield]

I do. Like when your hand can't make it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not that I should be able to.

[Brooke Schofield]

Make it like, but like there's a difference.

[Paige]

Would make you feel so tiny. And I need that cuz I got mitts.

[Jelly Roll]

Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000. Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] no joke. Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington.

[Brooke Schofield]

Nikocado. Avocado.

[Tana Mongeau]

So I wasn't familiar with him before this.

[Brooke Schofield]

What?

[Tana Mongeau]

Right. Were you?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, because Trisha. Trisha's always like been kind of a Stan of him. Right.

[Paige]

But yeah, I remember seeing him like back in the day.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well, I mean, he kind of started the.

[Tana Mongeau]

He does like mukbang. Like really, really terrifying mukbangs.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. But like. Yeah, the trend of in my opinion, like rage baiting mukbangs like jelly beans.

[Tana Mongeau]

To make people upset.

[Brooke Schofield]

Nikocado ran so jelly bean sweets could walk.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know who. Jelly beans.

[Brooke Schofield]

Nikocado walked so jelly bean sweets could run. I don't know how the phrase. Thank you.

[Tana Mongeau]

It was that. It was that.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Paige]

No, but he would like eat like pure gluttony and he would like make. He would like make a point of it, like barking at his food type, like.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, it turned into like a serious rage baiting thing because there was a point where he was like, had Needing, like, a CPAP breathing machine to, like, stay alive, but then, like, housing 30 munchy meals from Jack in the Box type. And people were like, I know, sounds amazing. Whatever. People were livid. He's still been posting this whole time and then just comes online a couple days ago. Gaunt as.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, babe.

[Paige]

He's skinnier than me.

[Brooke Schofield]

You couldn't inject all of the, like. Like, Wagovi Manjaro Ozempic that every Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has taken in the last year and, like, get like, that?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, he wouldn't inject it, but he got gastric bypass.

[Paige]

Did he?

[Brooke Schofield]

And, like, a skin surge. A skin.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, because he doesn't have loose skin. That's why people are like. Or talking about him being AI. Maybe AI, but what I find most unbelievable about this situation is his ability to bank that many videos in order to be posting that often, especially if it's. If it's that extreme of eating.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I 100 agree with that. Like, but it's. I was like, just imagine us trying to bank, like, two years worth of. To, like, come back as, like, a sister Mormon wife with bbls, right? Yeah, kind of Good. A Mormon wife with a bbl.

[Paige]

But it's so funny because he's, like, being so cryptic about it, and he's like, two steps ahead. I am always two steps.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's, like, probably got his brain.

[Paige]

No, but he. But he's like, this was the best social experiment ever conducted. But it's like, wait, what was the experiment? Like?

[Tana Mongeau]

I think it was something like, you were bullying me. And look.

[Paige]

But, like, welcome to the Internet, I guess. But, like, what was he doing? What was the point? Like, where was the experiment?

[Tana Mongeau]

I think it was just to show.

[Paige]

Like, he won at a game that only he's playing.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, yeah, I guess that's. I, Like, I get. I think it's just trying to say, like, you all were hating, and now I'm the third hadid. I turned to the side and disappear, and y'all thought I was on the CPAP with nachos. Like, I think that's the whole point.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is kind of like, on you guys because, like, here you are engaging with my content, and I've been skinny. I've been out here skinny, I guess, feeling healthy.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm just happy for him because he's probably doing well, right?

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, feeling healthier.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

I mean, you've got obviously, like. You know what I mean? The Apple dance, obviously, as, like, a time stamp is kind of genius because obviously then People could argue that he reshot the content before. Yeah, but I guess that little proved. Proved that, but.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, he did it as a skinny person.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, but then why is there a part of me that's also, like. I kind of think it's AI or like. Like someone's doing the apple dance, and then they're superimposing his face.

[Tana Mongeau]

Face like he's dubbed. Or what's it called? Deep faked. Yes.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yes, exactly.

[Tana Mongeau]

Unless she was. Unless I was slang.

[Paige]

Do you remember, like, you would go on jib, jab, and, like, put your face, like, my favorite thing to do.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are you kidding? Like, that's what it reminded me of when I met what they're doing.

[Brooke Schofield]

I kind of think that's what he's doing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Nothing is funnier than that. We still, to this day, like, doing that on Christmas. It lights my soul.

[Paige]

We need to send out postcards this year. Christmas cards.

[Brooke Schofield]

I think we are on the Patreon.

[Paige]

Oh, my God. We have to do, like, the elves.

[Brooke Schofield]

We're like step brothers.

[Tana Mongeau]

I identify as skinny. Well, what happened to his hair? That's what he wanted.

[Paige]

That everyone's calling him, like, the white Drake.

[Brooke Schofield]

Why is he kind of giving Andrew Tate to me? He does.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think it's the bald head, but I like that haircut. I think I prefer him bald.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm gonna say something that. Oh, wait, wait. Okay, so can you go to YouTube and then click. Because I've only seen the ticket shocks. I want to see. That was still white wall. Like, a part of me thinks there's something we still don't know. Like, I. Like I.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or maybe this is a social experiment to see how much it's more attention he gets when he's skinny. And then he pops out and he's like, no, actually, I'm still fat. Oh.

[Brooke Schofield]

The panda had. It's all giving ketamine to me, too.

[Tana Mongeau]

Who are we to judge?

[Brooke Schofield]

Me waking up five minutes before my alarm. Greatest social experiment for my entire life. It's alluring.

[Paige]

Bro thinks he's the riddler.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's grippy.

[Brooke Schofield]

Me, when I get hammered for the weekend to y'all, just like, greatest social.

[Paige]

Experiment me, when I order vapes without you having to ask.

[Brooke Schofield]

Ideas, rivalries. Where they feel encouraged and engaged.

[Jelly Roll]

Where they involve themselves.

[Brooke Schofield]

I wish it was a marshmallow helmet. For no specific reason, they become a product of influence. Keep it playing just right where we're at for a distraction from time. Unspent. Spoiling their minds yet stimulating them at the same time. It's brilliant. And. But then like me trying to reach the word count of an essay. Like what? I get what you're saying. Like what really is the point? Ants on an ant farm. Can I see him? Like just without. Please. And infect the minds of the ants?

[Paige]

What?

[Brooke Schofield]

This doesn't feel like AI to me, actually. Brainwash.

[Paige]

Hold. I have to answer this, man.

[Brooke Schofield]

You are the ants.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I think his brain might be a little scrambled.

[Brooke Schofield]

Today I woke up from a very long dream. And I also woke up having lost £250 off of my body. It's so dramatic for literally everyone in Hollywood after like one Ozempic shot, though. It's whatever.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean.

[Brooke Schofield]

But you also have to think about, like, to ever be doing what he was originally doing, you got to be a little silly. Goofy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Something has to be a little bit like screw loose.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. So.

[Tana Mongeau]

But same here.

[Brooke Schofield]

I want him on the canceled podcast.

[Paige]

I just want to know what the.

[Brooke Schofield]

Two steps were like, I guess, like I pre filmed all this content and while you were all mindlessly hating on me for something that you thought I couldn't control or change, I was controlling and changing it. So therefore, I'm ahead of you by exactly two steps.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, if you could.

[Paige]

Damn. You won.

[Tana Mongeau]

I guess we should conduct a social experiment.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm just not smart enough.

[Tana Mongeau]

Me neither. I'm two steps behind at all times.

[Brooke Schofield]

I couldn't agree with you more.

[Paige]

Same that Olivia Rodrigo song One step forward.

[Brooke Schofield]

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[Jelly Roll]

Water Damage is no Joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim cost over $13,000. Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] no joke. Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington.

[Brooke Schofield]

I've been touring houses in Vegas and there's been this house that's like my dream house. Like, I'm like, this house is so gorgeous. Like, grand staircases. Like, the casita of the house has already turned into a podcast studio. All this stuff like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or like a studio known right then and there.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know, but I just didn't put two and two together. But. But like I'm just on Zillow and I'm looking through this whole house, but get this. And it's like, you know what like a grand desert home looks like? Like everything's kind of tan and brown or whatever. The walls of this entire house are purple suede. And I'm like, do I get this house and just like redo the walls and like, whatever. And I'm on this whole tangent because I'm like, especially in Vegas and in the neighborhood it's in, in Vegas. Like, it's very unlikely in my opinion. Like, just that. Whatever. I'm on this whole tangent. I'm like, who the fuck would have this house and do this to this house? Like, it's gotta be like, just someone who's a little wild. Whatever.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I went on this whole TikTok tangent that I'm still pissed about. I flew to Vegas to tour this house and they. I got scammed up. Down left, right, boots the house, down diagonal sister. Okay, Which I can tell you about if you want, but whatever. Anyways, I make this whole TikTok and then Bunny text me and it's Jelly Roll's house. She's like, if you want to tour our house, it's for sale. And I'm like, jelly Roll would just take this like Vegas desert mansion in.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, paint it purple.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like purple suede. And she's like, we can change the color in a day. Like, we have a team. Like, of course you have a team that can make a whole 6,000 square foot mansion purple in a day.

[Paige]

So was it like the house that you got scammed by or like, like.

[Brooke Schofield]

Bunny saw my tick tock about the house. So then she was like, hey, ours is for sale. And I Was like, that's weird. I almost looked at it, but the purple suede kind of had me, you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

That is so funny. Like, what are the odds of that? I guess because, like, podcast studio purple suede wall is like, of course funny.

[Brooke Schofield]

It kind of just fucking makes me want to get it because I'm like, if jelly roll like this has, I would get it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just say like, like, I want jelly rolls. Bunny rolling.

[Brooke Schofield]

Bunny rolls house.

[Tana Mongeau]

Bunny roll used to live here.

[Paige]

And just like, good energy in there.

[Brooke Schofield]

I am just pissed as God is there at real estate agents for real. That's true. There's probably such good vibes in that house, which I do care about. I don't know. I found this house on Instagram reels, which I know you can already have a lot to see.

[Tana Mongeau]

I got finding a guy on Tinder and expecting him to be good.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's. It's so true. It's like, this isn't like a cool pair of boots, dude. It's. It's a property. But I see this fucking real. And I'm like, it's the most beautiful house. It's in my dream neighborhood. It's fucking gorgeous. It has everything I want. It has a movie theater, it has a pool. It has a beautiful giant master. It's like my color scheme. I'm imagining every single piece of these gray couches in it. Finally, like, I'm just. I'm like, yes. I love it so much that I set up an appointment. I'm like, I don't want anyone else to take an appointment. I'm flying there. I want to see this house immediately. I almost bought the damn house and just had Amari go look at it. Like, I was this set on this house. And I show up and first of all, the neighborhood it's advertised in, it's just like 25 minutes out of. Essentially, I could have been driving, like, back to California in the location this ends up being in. It's like in the cut off of like the end, one of the ends of Vegas. And I'm just like, okay. And I go in to tour the house and I show up and this woman who seems like she would rather be anywhere else gets out of her car. She just seems pissed. I'm like, okay, I want to whatever. And she opens the door for me into this house. And I walk in to a literal crack home. Like, it is just so, like, I've never, like, obviously all real estate photos are like, they use wide lenses and like, yada, yada. Like, I understand like a little Bit of scammetry. You're gonna turn the contrast up, turn the saturation up, turn the whatever. Like, the tiles of this floor were put on with lash glue and a dream.

[Tana Mongeau]

And, like, it was gonna go a dream.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's always a dream. I can't stop with that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you see the real? No, because I. I was so curious after she told the story on Tick Tock. I was like, please send me the reel because I need to see it. She only showed me on screen recording. She didn't send me the real. I think it's because I. If she had sent it to me, I would have given her a hard time about it. But it was so obvious that this place was a dinky, dinky house. No.

[Brooke Schofield]

So am I just dumb?

[Tana Mongeau]

And, you know, in my opinion, because I think it looks like. It looks like it's taken on 0.5.

[Paige]

Like, I need to see looks.

[Tana Mongeau]

You can see how low the ceilings are. Like, very clearly.

[Brooke Schofield]

See how all houses and, like, reels and videos. Like, even this house. Like, the videos I saw of it were like, 0.5. Like, I know the, like, game. It was just more like in the real. What is advertised as a movie theater is a basement that, like, has a ladder entrance. A ladder, like, and it's like they took the movie screen out, so it's just a basement. Like, don't make it a movie theater in the real. Mention the ladder maybe.

[Paige]

Right?

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, they're like.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you have to take a ladder.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, four of the rooms are, like, hot pink and green and purple and.

[Paige]

Do you have pictures of the house or, like, videos of the house?

[Brooke Schofield]

I have this real. Let me turn the music off. People found it on Tik Tok, which pissed me off. Okay, here's the real.

[Paige]

Wait, it looks gorgeous.

[Brooke Schofield]

Prime example here.

[Tana Mongeau]

That looks nice.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, that is not a low ceiling. That is not a low ceiling.

[Paige]

Gorgeous. You're right.

[Tana Mongeau]

But in that other photo you showed me low ceilings.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, same video.

[Tana Mongeau]

This is the only video in.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know, but this kitchen island looks big, right? Like a couple people.

[Paige]

Gorgeous.

[Brooke Schofield]

Thank you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, I think maybe I was watching it with what I already knew in mind.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, this looks like a movie room. I can't go back. I can't pause. I don't want to use Instagram reels. I'm not an Andrew Tate fan. Oh, sorry. That was like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are there Andrew Tate fans?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, really?

[Brooke Schofield]

Top. Top. Boy top.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so terrifying. You know how many.

[Brooke Schofield]

Imagine walking, beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, gorgina home, wait for the movie theater. Like, I'm imagining, like, setting up chairs there. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I might have been watching it because I already knew that. Looks like a big master seeing it that way already.

[Brooke Schofield]

That looks like a big. There were no closets. All the closets in the house. Like, you'd slide the door open or open the door and just no shelves, no rods. Like, don't you think that should be like, something we should again. Okay. They had to have Paris filter Facetune. Facetune video, like Nikita Dragon edit a video style to make these floors not look like they were literally held together with like jet puff marshmallow.

[Paige]

Like, I just. I don't see, like, how awful it can be in person if it looks like that in the video.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's what I'm.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm so glad you went to look at it though, because I'm so the type to like, buy a house site unseen and just like. And just trust my gut. And one thing about me is my gut has never been right.

[Brooke Schofield]

I just like, I completely understand a bit of scammetry. 0.5. A Paris filter. Like, I actually, like, I want to like, call her up and be like, how the did you do that?

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's kind of like catfishing. Like. Like real life catfishing. It's like, what was your intention? Because she made this point. She's like, I was obviously gonna go look at the house. Like, what did they think?

[Brooke Schofield]

It's not a crop top. I'm not just gonna like Amazon 2day prime it. Like, I don't return that. That's like. I just don't understand why real estate agents, like, really try to make something look. I guess because maybe like, they could set up the tour and someone could go and want a fixer upper or like, it just brings draws.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Maybe just get them in the door.

[Brooke Schofield]

I guess I was just being an out of town client. I was. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

You would have liked to know those additional details.

[Brooke Schofield]

You know, it was. If it was in the Valley, like, I would have loved the. You know, it's.

[Paige]

But before you fly to Vegas, huh?

[Tana Mongeau]

Girl, you know you were flying to Vegas regardless.

[Brooke Schofield]

Absolutely. You're so right. I don't even know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Damn, I thought you got scammed. I'm also a victim all the time of online propaganda.

[Brooke Schofield]

But I'm happy that I went to Vegas this weekend because for the first time, one of my favorite insane bets finally worked.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yay.

[Brooke Schofield]

I have this one bet that I like to do and every, like, people at the table will literally scream like, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

At me.

[Brooke Schofield]

I've had Dealers.

[Tana Mongeau]

What is it? On poker?

[Brooke Schofield]

No, on roulette. Like, I've had so many dealers, even the previous weekend be like, stop doing this. You're never going to win. It's so dumb. Where on the numbers. You can bet on all the numbers. On roulette, where you put $1,000 on one number and if it hits, they pay 1 to 36. You make $36,000. And I did it this time and I won. I turned $1,000 into $36,000. I fell to the floor. I bit my lip. I was bleeding. On the resorts world floor. It was the best moment of my life.

[Tana Mongeau]

So exciting.

[Brooke Schofield]

And it was my favorite dealer, Ikai. I'm always talking about Ikaika. I love you. It was just the best moment of my life.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that. I'm so proud of you. What are you going to do with your $36,000?

[Paige]

So crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

We lost.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm kidding. But I am so excited for our show in Vegas. I like wish I could set up like a fun little, like gamble with me after with like the people who come.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm so excited. We both have our hometown shows back.

[Brooke Schofield]

To back, which is sick as fuck. Like, that's so.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then we come back here and do it here.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, it's. That's so exciting that we like end with our hometowns and then here. And I can't believe we leave on a plane to Vermont tomorrow.

[Paige]

I was just thinking that.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know.

[Tana Mongeau]

And you know, we have, we have.

[Brooke Schofield]

A layover and we have so much work to do tonight.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And I'm.

[Brooke Schofield]

Because we are adding some last minute craziness to these shows. So when this comes out, if we are still coming to a city near you, not only we love to meet you, but these shows, we always say it. You already know. We, we do just have some really fun stories. And I'm excited. I'm hoping nothing as crazy as what happened last time on stage. I'm hoping everyone's phones are down. I'm praying for good, but I will be cautious. But still canceled. And I'm excited.

[Paige]

No dancing lobsters this time though. I'm so sorry.

[Tana Mongeau]

Don't be too sweet.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm sure that'll be like an entire scandal a year from now where they say I like forced you to do it. And I'm like, something playback of me.

[Paige]

Literally jumping for joy. When you broke the news. I stood up, bitch.

[Brooke Schofield]

People keep telling Gabbie, Hannah apologized to me today, but she didn't say my name, so I don't even know What I'm saying she didn't. But like all the videos say, like, it felt like she did. I don't know. I think she really like the point of why I just said that. It wasn't just like, again, like, that's not what I meant.

[Tana Mongeau]

I didn't think that was what you meant.

[Brooke Schofield]

It just sounded like I was like trying to suck my own dick or something weird. I don't know. The point of this is, is I watched Gabbie Hannah's apology video today or when she uploaded it. It was apparently the 10 year anniversary of her first ever YouTube video video. And she kind of just apologized to people she's collaborated with, worked with that she had a big scandal with Joey Graceffa and Escape the Night on YouTube Red where like they said it like she wasn't a pleasure to be on set. She kind of apologized to everyone for that. She apologized for kind of talking about people's stories without permission, essentially. That's where like, people think it's about me. Because she kind of, I don't know, whatever. She apologized for a bunch of stuff and she seemed really like, like peaceful, grown and together in the video. And I've been obsessed with the sound recently. Like there's babies on the street. I can't stop saying it. Like, what does she say? I need some sleep.

[Paige]

God, I wish I could sleep.

[Brooke Schofield]

God, that's been me always like, God, I wish I could sleep. Like, just. I've been so exhausted. It's been my like vocal stem of the week.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I keep using it on Tik Tok and I really want to have Gabby Hannah on canceled. I would love to hear about, about.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think she'd be very interesting and I honestly think she could have, like, she would have, like, a lot to offer, like, actually in a serious way.

[Brooke Schofield]

I agree. I think it would, like, be a really cool episode to just hear about everything she's been through and.

[Paige]

Yeah, she's got a story.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, she does. I was a big Gabbie Hannah fan.

[Brooke Schofield]

Me too, Abs. Absolutely. And I'm honestly, I just feel like she seems so happy. So it's.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm happy for her.

[Brooke Schofield]

Me too.

[Jelly Roll]

Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25 of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000. Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] no joke. Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington.

[Brooke Schofield]

You can talk about Kendrick Super Bowl, Lana Del Rey with the Alligator Guy. I don't know if you guys know the lore about All Dogs Go to Heaven, the movie, it has had me in stitches.

[Paige]

What?

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, is that a suicide boys thing?

[Brooke Schofield]

No.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, but like All Dogs Go to Heaven, I guess that's like it's a on, is it?

[Paige]

It used to be when I was little.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay, then I am gonna like, I do want to tell you this. I have cried about this like seven times in the past. Like and I've never seen the movie.

[Paige]

Here I go.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like All Dogs Go to Heaven came out late 90s. It's an older movie and it's like a kids cartoon that is apparently about. It's probably to teach younger kids about like when their dogs die. And like it's kind of a. People say it's. It's a sad movie. Right?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

You've seen it. Would you like to give me any additional Laura years?

[Paige]

I just remember like the German shepherd's name is Charlie.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay, so the little girl who voiced the girl on All Dogs Go to Heaven, she was just like a little like five or six year old girl. And I forget what else she voiced. She also did a Land Before Time, like one of the dinosaurs.

[Tana Mongeau]

She voiced one of them, right?

[Brooke Schofield]

And she was like a five or six year old girl. Her name was Judith Barsy. And look how cute she was too. Look, she's such a little chicken, right? And she gets like not famous but like some notoriety for voicing these characters. Land Before Time and she becomes kind of successful. She's making some money from it, whatever. Her dad murders her.

[Paige]

What?

[Brooke Schofield]

In like Before All Dogs Go to Heaven came out. Like, she had just finished, she had just finished doing all of the like voice recording as the little girl for the movie. And so then the guy, guy, hold on one second, let me find it.

[Paige]

For you right now.

[Brooke Schofield]

I know. And it like comes out that like people have come to the conclusion that the dad murdered her out of like jealousy. Like straight up. Like, it's like up what? Right? So then the guy's voice is Burt Reynolds and come to find out that the final scene of All Dogs Go to Heaven is obviously her saying like goodbye to the dog before he goes to heaven. But the guy, Bert Reynolds, who voiced the dog, hadn't finished voicing his that scene yet after she died. So he ended up improvising the ending scene because it's her saying goodbye. Watch this ending scene. Now knowing that. Now knowing that, no, you're going to actually lose your.

[Tana Mongeau]

I come to say goodbye.

[Brooke Schofield]

Where are you going? And like he had to sound little trip. Oh, Charlie, I'll miss you.

[Tana Mongeau]

I miss you, too, Squeaker.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, it's completely improvised. Charlie, will I ever see you again?

[Paige]

Oh, hell no. Sure, you.

[Brooke Schofield]

You know, goodbye is on forever. Goodbye, Charlie. I love.

[Paige]

Get that. Get that out of my face.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I don't know what type of mental illness it is, but I can't stop researching more details and watching this video over and over again and crying.

[Tana Mongeau]

So horrible.

[Paige]

Wait, this honestly feels so good because I haven't cried in so long. Because, swear to God.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, because you got off your Lexapro.

[Paige]

This hasn't happened to me in so long.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, my God, Paige.

[Tana Mongeau]

I wish I could say this so opposite, because I barely welled up and you know who I am. Oh, yeah, you're an immediate stable.

[Brooke Schofield]

Rolls are reversing around you. I don't know what's going on.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know.

[Paige]

That is so.

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm really happy for you. Holding his dick while he pees and crying. And. Dude, I'm really happy for you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Really quickly, I do want to circle back.

[Paige]

Okay. Yep, yep, yep.

[Tana Mongeau]

I've done it. But, like, what. What was the context?

[Brooke Schofield]

Are we all the way back to holding?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I just wanted to.

[Brooke Schofield]

Okay. Rest in peace, Judith.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, Red. That. That is such a horrible.

[Brooke Schofield]

Isn't that just crazy? Like, now I need to watch the movie, knowing that, but.

[Paige]

Oh, my God, I'll watch it with you. That used to be my favorite when I was a little. Anyway, I don't know. I was just drunk one time and I was like, can I hold it while you pee? And he's like, yeah, sure. And, like, have we talked about this before?

[Tana Mongeau]

Maybe.

[Brooke Schofield]

I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Why is this, Like, I don't even know.

[Paige]

Maybe. But, like, so, like, that's how it started, like, the last time.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just like to know that I'm allowed to do things.

[Paige]

Oh, for sure. But I asked him, like, I just do unhinged stuff with him all the time. Like, I asked how much money it would take for him to Sonic the Hedgehog.

[Tana Mongeau]

What do you say?

[Paige]

He said, well, do people know? Like, is Sonic real? I said, yeah, he's real. And he's like, I don't know, like, two vodka crayons.

[Brooke Schofield]

I can't. I'm sorry. I ruined my own mood over here. I'm sorry.

[Tana Mongeau]

I.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, because why the fuck am I crying about all dogs? I've never seen the movie.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dude, you don't have to see the movie to identify with that.

[Paige]

Yeah, okay. It's really sad. We're like, on a fucking roller coaster. But the last time I hung out with him, when I relapsed, I had him pee through my hands, and I was holding my hands like a heart.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, what? Were your arms around his hips or something? Something.

[Paige]

No, I was like.

[Brooke Schofield]

And then she sent a photo to the group chat.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like a basketball?

[Paige]

No, like a heart. He was peeing through the middle.

[Brooke Schofield]

It always blows my mind when someone does some I've never done. I feel like now I have to make makoa pee through my hands, But I'm just. I'm tired. My tired. I'm getting out of office.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, you're telling us on the Patreon?

[Brooke Schofield]

I think I have to, because it's just, like, graphic. I'm gonna use a lot of medical terms.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

I think I just, like, burst a vein or something. Something.

[Tana Mongeau]

A vessel? Yeah, is a vessel. Do you.

[Brooke Schofield]

Do you have veins in your. In your. Like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Well, you have, like, nerve endings and, like.

[Brooke Schofield]

But, like, can you, like, one up?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, of course.

[Paige]

Do you know your clit's, like, actually huge?

[Brooke Schofield]

I'm, like, talking to me, but what do you mean your clit's actually huge?

[Paige]

Like, internally, it's huge.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's like an iceberg.

[Brooke Schofield]

It is.

[Paige]

It's like, you can only see the tip. Literally.

[Brooke Schofield]

No.

[Paige]

And the rest is, like, all underground.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it's huge. Popular belief. I did take Anatomy and physiology.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, my God.

[Paige]

And it looks like a wishbone.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's hot.

[Paige]

So maybe you snapped your wishbone. You made a wish.

[Tana Mongeau]

I want. I want.

[Brooke Schofield]

I really screw it back really quickly.

[Tana Mongeau]

Before we end the episode. I'm doing a social experiment. I just want somebody to comment below if you've ever had a positive experience with an iud because I've never heard one ever before. I've only heard horrible negative experience experiences.

[Paige]

Wait, I want to get one too. I was just thinking about this last night.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm just like. And I. I'm thinking about. I'm like. I don't think I would ever even consider it because I've heard so many horror stories about it. But, like, has anybody had a good IUD experience?

[Brooke Schofield]

I do hear about a lot of pain, but I would love just, like, a little Venus fly trap up there, catching these potential plan B1 steps, you know? Like, it would be nice to not pop them.

[Paige]

Like, you don't have to worry, period.

[Tana Mongeau]

At all.

[Brooke Schofield]

I literally download downloaded the Flow app, like, three days ago because I'm sick of this.

[Tana Mongeau]

Go ahead.

[Paige]

I know, I know.

[Brooke Schofield]

This is why I don't you know.

[Paige]

I got a text from Tana like, two nights ago at 11:50pm and she goes, when did I bleed last? I said, girl, I don't have your uterus. I don't know.

[Brooke Schofield]

I was really just grasping the key.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is always to go through your camera. And it's like, was I there? Was I bleeding at that time?

[Brooke Schofield]

I did that for three and a half hours before I texted you. I could not find one photo where I was confidently. That makes me feel so. Seen that other people do that because that's how I track my period, like, just through my camera.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do use. I do use the app. The people say that you're not supposed to do that for some reason, but it's like, I don't really care about people stealing my data.

[Paige]

Oh, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Period data.

[Brooke Schofield]

Oh, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know when I'm ovulating?

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Paige]

That's like, who cares? That shit is so funny to me because people are like, oh, my gosh, the government is like, taking our data off. Tick tock. What the hell do they want to do with me? Take it. I don't care.

[Tana Mongeau]

Anyone's really looking in on me like that at all.

[Brooke Schofield]

You wouldn't find.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you see that? What? I got my. In my email.

[Brooke Schofield]

I did.

[Paige]

That was crazy.

[Brooke Schofield]

I feel like the avatar really is my ceiling. Like, you're not gonna find much weirder in my.

[Paige]

You know, like, they're selling my data. Okay.

[Brooke Schofield]

Like, last Google search was the moon landing reel. Like, take the phone away, Give me a browser.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or no.

[Brooke Schofield]

Do I. What?

[Tana Mongeau]

I use a private browser.

[Paige]

Her. Only for.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, yeah, but only because.

[Paige]

Only for.

[Brooke Schofield]

Only because of porn. Like, I. I never. Like, if she ever opened my phone and, like, oh, I'd kill myself. Really? I wouldn't even. Weird porn. Just the idea of you being like, damn, she was just watching porn weirds me out.

[Paige]

She was just jacking it.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah, I.

[Paige]

Like, I would be so unfazed at this point. Oh, you were just whacking it.

[Tana Mongeau]

That too.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah. It's all bad.

[Tana Mongeau]

Anything?

[Brooke Schofield]

I can't believe this is my first time going on tour without Makoa. Like, and now I have to, like, whack it like the rest of y'all.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're just whacking it on a bus.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, no, I have to. We don't have a private bedroom. No. In the room. So. No, Brooke, you would literally be like, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Like, I'm gonna go whack it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, yeah, in the rooms for sure.

[Brooke Schofield]

That's what I'm saying.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's why one chance I'm like, this is my time to shine. One time I postmated a vibrator and the woman who delivered it was a traditional Amish lady. Erin. I think she was. She was traditional something. Maybe she was like Southern Baptist or Lutheran or something.

[Paige]

Yeah, one of those.

[Brooke Schofield]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, she was like, she was dressed in like traditional.

[Paige]

Like she had tires.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Brooke Schofield]

Did you try to put her on? I'd be like, y'all got this.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but I was so humiliated and it was like I had. I'm pretty sure I had medication, so I had to like sign for something. I couldn't just have her leave it at my door. It was humiliating.

[Brooke Schofield]

Dayquill and or like Sudafed in a vibrators.

[Tana Mongeau]

Crazy. Yeah.

[Paige]

A Red Bull and a vibrator.

[Brooke Schofield]

We probably like should be done. Like we have so much else to do. It's like crazy. But. And all my other topics. Like, I seriously was going to just ask y'all if you think the moon landing was real. So I feel like we should go over to Patreon. We're going to review some VMAs outfits and I'm so excited to do it over there because on the podcast sometimes.

[Tana Mongeau]

We have to tell some fibs.

[Brooke Schofield]

Well with review.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I have to withhold some of.

[Paige]

My dilute a little.

[Brooke Schofield]

All for fear of being with reviewing fashion. In the past I've gotten in trouble where it's like here I am in my pickleball crew neck saying a well loved celebrity looks like on a carpet I could never attend. But on the Patreon, it feels like a little more of a safe space to give my honest opinion.

[Tana Mongeau]

I for sure agree with that.

[Brooke Schofield]

And I also do want to talk to you guys about what's going on with my anatomy, but I need to use graphic words and tell you how I broke it. So. Okay, that's it. Woohoo.

[Tana Mongeau]

All right.

[Brooke Schofield]

They are killing babies in the street. They're eating dogs, Eating the cats in the dog Springfield.

[Paige]

They're doing transgender surgery on illegal aliens.

[Tana Mongeau]

Phantom and they're aborting two year old children.

[Brooke Schofield]

2024 is weird, dude. Yeah, weird as all get out. Is it only going to get worse and more dystopian and weird for sure as we age.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I was thinking? Thinking. Sorry, we're off topic.

[Brooke Schofield]

No, I want to know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just imagine like I wish so badly I was like driving down the street in la and you do ever watch movies like old times in la and it's like you see the streets that we go on every day. I would love nothing more than, like, to be able to press a button and fast forward 30 years on the streets that we're driving right now and see what's there, what's gone, what it looks like, what cars are on the road.

[Brooke Schofield]

I've never had that thought about going forward. I, like, romanticize.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, do you think they predicted a cyber truck even 10 years ago?

[Paige]

That'll.

[Brooke Schofield]

I saw a tweet the other day that was like, I was trying to explain to someone the other day why I have such a disdain for cyber trucks. I'm sure you guys do as well.

[Paige]

Ugliest.

[Brooke Schofield]

But I saw a tweet that just said, I want to see all Burning man attendees in a Venn diagram with all cyber truck owners and see the crossover. And I realized that that, like, perfectly explains how I feel.

[Paige]

The circles would just overlap.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's just one circle.

[Paige]

Yeah, it's just a circle.

[Brooke Schofield]

It's literally a circle. And that's. And it just. That's how I feel about cyber trucks, which sucks, because they're kind of cool.

[Paige]

They're, like, bulletproof. And the only person who can do it is Trisha. Pay us.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did she get a cyber truck?

[Paige]

I think she wanted one.

[Brooke Schofield]

Or like, Paris Hilton. And it's holographic. Like, I. I would eat that up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or like, Jojo Siwa. And there's just a ponytail on the back.

[Brooke Schofield]

Bye, guys. We love you.

[Paige]

Bye, guys. Love you. Thank you for having me back.

[Brooke Schofield]

Hey.

[Jelly Roll]

Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000? Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] Nojoke Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington. Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes up more than 25% of all home insurance claims? And the average claim costs over $13,000? Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn [e-mail] no joke. Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington.