How to ask for more at work (and what to do when the script falls apart)

You've rehearsed this conversation a hundred times. You know exactly what you're going to say. And then your manager responds with something you didn't expect and suddenly your brain goes blank. The script you'd prepared just evaporates. You find yourself nodding along, saying "I understand" or worse, backing down entirely.

This episode of Career Espresso is about how to actually ask for more when the conversation doesn't follow your plan. Not the theory of negotiation. The real work of staying grounded when things go sideways.

What you'll discover

Why most advice focuses entirely on preparation but misses what actually happens in the room when things go off-script
The specific ways women are conditioned to backpedal when conversations get uncomfortable (and why recognising this helps)
What to say when you get hit with budget constraints, the praise pivot, or "I need to check with HR"
Why this is rarely one conversation and how to follow up without feeling like you're being annoying
Common patterns that keep women stuck: preparation as procrastination, the grateful trap, the "one shot" mentality

Perfect for leaders who've rehearsed these conversations but still find themselves accepting less than they came in asking for.

Want more support with real-world leadership challenges? Head to How to Build a Leader on Substack for in-depth guides and scripts.

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