Friends, this is a glorious and deeply troubling time for True Christians everywhere.

Glorious, because the Lord has once again confirmed through the miracle of consumer electronics that the End Times are upon us. Troubling, because in delivering us these signs, He has chosen as His vessel the one garment that True Christians have always known to be — at minimum — theologically suspicious.

The undergarment, friends. The underpants.

Now, before we get to the government surveillance program embedded in your waistband, let us acknowledge what the Lord already knew when He fashioned Adam and Eve in the garden: clothing was not His idea.

Clothing was the consequence of sin. Before the Fall, Adam and Eve walked freely in God’s presence, unashamed, unencumbered, and — critically — unwired. It was the serpent’s influence, the awareness of nakedness, the birth of shame that introduced fabric into Eden.

Clothing is therefore the original evidence of human corruption.

Brother Jasper Culpepper

And underwear — underwear, friends, is the most corrupt layer of all. It is clothing’s confession. It is the garment closest to the very site of original transgression. It is where the devil lives, and now, apparently, where IARPA has put its microphones.

We’ll get to that. Let us begin at the face, because that’s where God started before He moved south.

We’re talking about Facebook’s Meta glasses.

We had always assumed the Mark of the Beast would be something dramatic. A brand. A microchip. A bureaucratic nightmare administered by a one-world government run out of Brussels by people with good haircuts. We imagined we would know.

We did not imagine it would come in tortoiseshell frames. We did not imagine it would pair with Spotify.

And yet.

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The Lord moves in mysterious ways, and apparently His most recent instrument is Mark Zuckerberg — a man who has the emotional warmth of a DMV notice and the spiritual energy of a Terms of Service agreement — who took the hallowed icon of Paul Newman and Steve McQueen and transformed it into what Scripture clearly describes:

“He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark.” — Revelation 13:16–17

The mark, friends, is on your face. It has a five-star rating on Amazon and comes with a ninety-day return window, which is more mercy than the Lord offered Sodom — though Sodom at least had the dignity not to issue a press release about it.

Praise Him. For He allowed the surveillance state to arise not through jackboots and midnight raids but through accessorizing.

For thirty years, the Deep State could not do what Zuckerberg accomplished over a long weekend in Menlo Park. The government needed warrants. It needed subpoenas. It needed windowless rooms in Fort Meade with blinking servers and a man in a polo shirt eating a sad desk sandwich.

God in His infinite efficiency said: inefficient. Cut out the middleman. Convince the prisoners to build the Panopticon themselves. And wear it. On their faces. As a lifestyle choice. With a matching carrying case.

Jeremy Bentham — a man the Lord sent ahead as a warning, like John the Baptist but for surveillance capitalism — designed his Panopticon in 1791. The prison where the warden sees every cell but the prisoners cannot see the warden. The genius of it was the uncertainty. You might be watched. You might not. But you behave as though you always are.

Zuckerberg improved on this by simply removing the uncertainty.

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