Sam Spade and Nero Wolfe

Summary

Case Closed! – Sam Spade and Nero Wolfe (July 22, 2026)

Overview

This episode of Case Closed! from RelicRadio.com presents two classic crime stories from the golden age of radio: “The SQP Caper” with Sam Spade, and “The Impolite Corpse” featuring Nero Wolfe. The hour is dedicated to reopening these iconic detective cases, immersing listeners in the witty banter, clever sleuthing, and atmospheric suspense of Old Time Radio mysteries.

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The Adventures of Sam Spade: "The SQP Caper"

(Original Air Date: November 7, 1948)

Main Theme

A mysterious divorce inquiry leads Sam Spade into a labyrinth involving murder, deceit, and a set of dental x-rays labeled "SQP." Sam unravels a plot of blackmail and mistaken identity with his trademark sardonic humor.

Key Discussion Points & Story Beats

• The Case Begins – Typewriter Trouble

  • Pat Bain, Sam’s secretary, complains about her typewriter's strange behavior, hinting at missing letters and cryptic "SQP" initials. (00:56)
  • A client appears, seeking a detective to witness her husband’s infidelity for divorce grounds. Spade refuses, noting he doesn’t take divorce work. (02:36)

• A Mysterious Death at the Belvedere Hotel

  • Sam sets the woman up with 'Tiny,' a hotel house detective. Soon after, Tiny calls Sam in distress about a gunshot and a dead body (04:15).
  • Sam and Tiny find the client, Pat, gagged and handcuffed, and Donald Pierce dead on the floor. They piece together that the apparent killing may be no accident, and the stories given are inconsistent. (05:49)

• Blackmail & X-Rays

  • The story unfolds: Pat admits she was paid by a man named Christopher to take incriminating photos for a supposed divorce evidence job. (07:14)
  • Sam retrieves Pat's camera and discovers that instead of evidence photos, the film contains dental x-rays with the initials "SQP." (09:00, 13:00)

• The Truth Emerges

  • Sam connects the dental x-rays to San Quentin Prison, learning the dead man was a prison dentist and recently came into $20,000 by selling these x-rays to an escaped convict he once treated. (15:00)
  • The scheme becomes clear: the x-rays were critical to blackmailer Pierce's plan, and the murderer killed him by fright, orchestrating the scene to look otherwise.

• Climax & Resolution

  • Pat is kidnapped but escapes. Sam realizes Calvin Christopher is really Victor Graziani, an escaped lifer, who used the x-rays to hide his identity. In a confrontation, Sam and Pat are attacked, but Sam prevails and calls police. (19:10–20:28)
  • The story ends with Sam and Pat sharing a final round of witty rapport. (22:21–23:21)

Memorable Quotes

• On Pat's intelligence:
  • Sam Spade: “I guess I’m just dumb.” (07:53)
• Sam’s wry summation:
  • “I felt like a Cat Dundee. But there was nothing I could tell you that they couldn't tell better as eyewitnesses. So I left them there to face you and your homicide boys alone.” (09:00)
• On dental x-rays and identity:
  • “I think they mean blackmail. Teeth and fingerprints are two of the best identity clinches.” – Sam Spade (15:11)
• Classic Sam Spade closer:
  • "Forget it." / "Good night, Sam." / "Good night, sweetheart." (23:19–23:21)

Key Timestamps

• 00:56 – Typewriter trouble and "SQP" clues
• 02:36 – New client seeks Sam's services for a divorce case
• 04:15 – Tiny's call about the incident at the Belvedere Hotel
• 05:49 – The scene of the crime and handcuffed Pat
• 07:14 – Pat reveals the real story
• 09:00 – Sam gets the "wrong" set of photos—dental x-rays
• 13:00 – Visit to undertaker, more about “SQP”
• 15:00 – Sam quizzes the widow about the prison connection
• 19:10 – Sam's showdown with the real culprit
• 23:21 – Final humorous exchange between Sam and his secretary Effie

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The New Adventures of Nero Wolfe: "The Impolite Corpse"

(Original Air Date: December 8, 1950)

Main Theme

When an advertising executive is murdered at his desk and suspicion falls on his secretary, Nero Wolfe and his wisecracking assistant Archie Goodwin untangle a web of workplace animosities, false alibis, and a cunning frame-up—all without Wolfe ever breaking his sacred fondness for home comfort.

Key Discussion Points & Story Beats

• Setting Up the Mystery

  • Walter Channing, a harsh advertising executive, is found murdered at his desk. Suspects include his secretary (Brenda Barkley), her jealous would-be fiancé (Alan Melick), and a host of peeved employees. (25:05–26:48)
  • Brenda Barkley seeks Nero Wolfe’s help, fearful she’ll be blamed due to her romantic entanglements with Channing. (31:02–33:31)

• Suspects & Motives

  • Suspicion falls variously on Channing’s wife Doris, disappointed employee Tom Bennett, and especially Carrie the shoeshine boy, after a company memo threatens his job. (34:07–35:10)
  • Wolfe methodically interviews all involved, hearing their alibis and parsing out motives, always from the comfort of his brownstone or, reluctantly, at the office crime scene. (36:02–37:01)

• Physical Evidence and Deduction

  • Clues include ink stains on trousers, a dye spot on the carpet, and a missing .38 caliber gun.
  • Lab analysis connects cleaning chemicals on the trousers and dye on the carpet to commercial shoe or suede dressings—used on women’s shoes—not shoe polish. (39:44–41:06)

• Reconstructing the Murder

  • Wolfe and Archie assemble all the players at the scene. They analyze the impossibility of anyone (other than someone in a subservient, kneeling position) getting close enough to fire the fatal shot. They seem to implicate the shoeshine boy—until Wolfe pivots. (45:18–49:02)
  • Archie’s observation: “Suppose a woman knelt in front of Channing to clean that ink spot off his trouser cuff…” The dye from her shoe rubs off onto the carpet, tying the murder to a woman wearing suede shoes. (50:08)

• Revelation & Wrap-up

  • Wolfe identifies Brenda Barkley as the murderer: only she had access to the office files, sent the memo (to frame Kelly), and had opportunity. (51:14)
  • The motive: a toxic combination of office politics, resentment, and betrayal.

Memorable Quotes

• Nero Wolfe on dead clients:
  • "Advise her... not to get murdered herself. I never take a corpse for a client." (25:35)
• Classic banter:
  • Archie: “I always thought violet eyes were something the poets made up.” (31:13)
• Wolfe, ever the homebody:
  • “Nonsense. I don’t go out. My digestion disapproves of it. I disapprove of it.” (41:59)
• On deductive leaps:
  • Wolfe: “The obvious can be too obvious.” (49:27)
• Archie on company policy:
  • "Suppose a woman knelt in front of Channing to clean that ink spot..." (50:26)

Key Timestamps

• 25:05 – Case introduction at Channing’s office
• 31:02 – Brenda seeks Wolfe’s help
• 34:07 – Employee interviews reveal ill-will toward Channing
• 37:01 – Archie and Wolfe debate the suspects and clues
• 39:44 – Analysis of ink and cleaning chemicals
• 41:59 – Wolfe is lured out of his home
• 45:18 – Scene reconstruction with all the suspects
• 47:00 – “Sanctity of desk hood” theory
• 49:27 – The “obvious” suspect and then the twist
• 50:26 – The critical clue: dye from women’s shoes
• 51:14 – Final unmasking of Brenda Barkley as the murderer

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Tone & Style

Both stories showcase sparkling period dialogue, dry wisecracks, and classic private-eye narration, balancing suspense and wit. The Sam Spade segment delivers hardboiled quips and rapid-fire repartee, while Nero Wolfe’s portion leans into elegant logic and verbal fencing between Archie Goodwin and Wolfe’s suspects.

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Notable Moments

• Sam Spade’s sardonic asides about G-men, dames, and unlucky cases ground the episode in the noir tradition.
• Wolfe’s “Sanctity of Desk Hood” speech gives a clever twist on how office geography can reveal a killer—an original take for armchair detectives. (47:07)
• Both segments end with comic relief: Sam and Effie’s mutual exasperation, and Archie joshing about Wolfe’s love for beer and home comforts.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Case Closed! is a perfect double feature for classic radio mystery buffs, combining a twisty, blackmail-laden Sam Spade adventure with a deft Nero Wolfe office murder investigation. The interplay of memorable banter, vintage urban atmosphere, and surprising solutions ensures that these cases, indeed, deserve to be reopened and enjoyed.

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For more Old Time Radio mysteries, visit relicradio.com. Tune in next week for another hour of intrigue!

Transcript

[Sam Spade]

Foreign.

[Case Closed Host]

This is Case Closed. Crime stories from the golden age of Radio. With another hour of mystery from the golden age of radio. This is Case Closed. We'll begin our hour this week with the Adventures of Sam spade. Hear the SQP caper from November 7, 1948. After that, it's the New Adventures of Nero Wolf and the Impolite Corpse. That story aired December 8, 1950.

[Sam Spade]

The Adventures of Sam Spade. Detective. I'm looking over the forest, Sam.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I'm. Something terribly wrong with my typewriter.

[Sam Spade]

Looks okay to me. Those old models stand up, eph. They don't make them like that nowadays.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I should hope they don't. Somebody shout it.

[Sam Spade]

SQP Again.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

No, the Alphabet is all right, Sam. It's just the one key.

[Sam Spade]

One missing.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

No, but it's there. This one right here. Sam, look here. The app. And Sam.

[Sam Spade]

App. Makes sense. You won't need it for this one.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Come on. F. Oh, Sam, wasn't I smart? I got the answer right away.

[Sam Spade]

The answer to what?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

That's what you referred to, Sam as. The whole ghastly riddle. SQB to be exact.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I was fired.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Of course you were. And besides, I was right here where I can see it right out the window. The neon sign, Sam, over the Mrs. Box door. See? Stability, quality, purity. And a blink.

[Sam Spade]

Of course you were. But that isn't quite the answer.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

What is that?

[Sam Spade]

Detective Lieutenant Dundee, Homicide Detail, San Francisco Police. From S. Spade, 137596. Subject, the SQP caper. The minute she walked into my office, I smelled trouble. But it also smelled like $50 an ounce. She was small and brunette. Her eyes were large, appealing and moist. But her pitch was disappointing.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

And now I realize that what he really came to San Francisco for was to be with her. This isn't the first time, Mrs. Bates. There have been others. I don't know who this woman is, and I don't care. This time I intend to do something about it. They're registered at the Belvedere Hotel and I want you to go with me.

[Sam Spade]

Just a moment, Mrs. Pierce.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes?

[Sam Spade]

I think I know what you're leading up to. You want a detective to go with you and be a witness so you'll have grounds for divorce. Is that it?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Yes. I can't go on any longer with a man I can't trust. Oh, it's so humiliating.

[Sam Spade]

Please. I do sympathize with you, honest I do. But I can't take the job after

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I poured out my heart through you. Expose myself.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, now, please. It's not as bad as that. It happens every day. It's just that I don't take divorce cases. But I do know a detective who might help you. You'll be much better off with me,

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

but I'm sure I'd feel much better with you.

[Sam Spade]

Maybe after your divorce.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Mrs. Patricia, my friend called me to.

[Sam Spade]

All right, Pat. I'll see what I can do. Belvedere Hotel. Good afternoon. Tiny store. Brian duty. Tell him Sam Spade. That's more.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Who is he, Mrs. B?

[Sam Spade]

Friend of mine. House detective is a velvet here, but he likes to pick up an extra fee now and then. Sam. Triny.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Triny. Sam. Roger. O. Look, Tiny. I'll start with you, Will.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, Sam.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Yes? What's with you?

[Sam Spade]

About a guest in your register. Pierce, Donald. Mr. And Mrs. Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Clerk gave me the high sign on him. Pierce?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Yeah.

[Sam Spade]

Checked in alone, but registered for both. Sam said the wife would be along later, but it's okay. She finally got here. Yeah. His wife is in my office now. She wants to Chrysler party. Oh. Oh, I get it. Want the job? Well, Sam, I can't take it for a private fee. It's against the house rules, you know. Oh, do that. Oh, wait, wait, wait, Sam. I go off duty in half an hour. Maybe I could do it incommunicado, huh?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Send her around, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Okay, Tiny. Will do.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Will he help me, Mr. Spade?

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. Ask at the desk for Tiny subside. But don't let that put you off. He's an all right guy.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Spade. You've been very kind. Goodbye.

[Sam Spade]

Good luck.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Sam. What happened? Why did you leave so quickly?

[Sam Spade]

For the same reason you shouldn't have let her in in the first place, Abby. There was a divorce job.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh, but Sam, she looked so refined and all. And being the first of the month, I thought you might take exceptions.

[Sam Spade]

I do, of course.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

You know best, Sam. But it seems to me you might welcome a little change now and then. I know you feel it's underneath you, but it's such nice plays work. And between nine and midnight alone, you could.

[Sam Spade]

Effie are two words for that kind of work. Never mind,

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Sam. Say, detective agency. Oh, just a moment, Mr. Stover. I don't know. I think he's crying.

[Sam Spade]

I'll take it, Tiny.

[Nero Wolfe]

Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, what's up, Tiny? That Dane you said over here.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Listen, I. I better not take time telling you.

[Sam Spade]

Get over here. Room 418.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Come in the side entrance and walk up.

[Sam Spade]

What up? I cannot tell you over the phone. Just get over here, Sam, and hurry. It's me, Tiny. Sam, open up.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Come in, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Sort of ease in with you. He's lying in the way of the door. The first thing I saw as I squeezed through the narrow crack of the door was the brunette that had visited my office that afternoon. She was handcuffed to a chair and a gag had been stuffed into her mouth. Tiny's frightened eyes shifted uneasily from her to the body on the floor. What kind of a caper is this? You'd better tell me, Tiny. What happened? Who handcuffed her to the chair?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I did. I.

[Sam Spade]

We broke in, just like it says in the book. Only there was no Dane here, just him. He starts to jump the wife and I grab him. The next thing I know, he's got my gun. I try to twist it out of his hand. The next thing I know, bang. He's right where he's laying now, and he's. Next thing I know, the dame is grabbing for the phone and screaming that I murdered him. That's when I decided I better shut her up for a while so you and me can compare notes on this thing. Well, first we better get some notes to compare. Now, listen, Pat, I'm gonna pull this gag out of your mouth, but if you start screaming, it's going right back in.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Get it? All right, now, let me out of these. These handcuffs.

[Sam Spade]

Now, we'll get around to that. Now, first, I want to put you straight on something. I know that Tiny hair, whenever, this. On the level, which is more than I know about you. So if there are any angles in this table besides the story you told in my office, let's have him now before the cops get.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

All right, I lied to you. I never saw this man before in my life.

[Sam Spade]

Shut up.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Go on. I was hired by a man named Christopher. He advertised for a photographer. He said he specialized in photographs for legal evidence. And this man Lombard's wife wanted. Well, she wanted a divorce. I didn't want to do it at first, but the pay was good and he said it was good experience for newspaper work, which is what I want to do. So I took it.

[Sam Spade]

Why didn't you tell me that in my office?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Those were his instructions. He said that's the way they did it and any detective would understand. And I was sure you did when you wouldn't take the job. Hey, wait.

[Sam Spade]

I don't get it, Sam. Is she some nut or something, or is she just dumb?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I guess I'm just dumb.

[Sam Spade]

No comment. Let's get some facts. Your name?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Patricia Bain. My friends call me Pat. That part of my Story was true. I studied photography at Berkeley.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah? Yeah. Now, this guy that hired you, well,

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

he has an office in the Fidelity Building where all the divorce lawyers are. Full name, Calvin Christopher, it says on his office door. Public Relations counsel. That's room 842 in the back.

[Sam Spade]

You ain't swallowing this yarn, are you, Spade? Fine, he goes, sit on. I didn't say nothing. I check. Now, Pat, is this your story? You and Tiny came in here together, Lombard jumped you, Tiny grabbed him. There was a scuffle and a gun went off? Yes.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I just opened my purse to take my camera out.

[Sam Spade]

Where's the camera?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I don't know. In the excitement. Oh, that looks like it. Over there. Over there by the phone. Be careful. There's some exposed film in it. It might have a clue.

[Sam Spade]

What did you shoot?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh, some fishing boats. And one I sneaked of Mr. Christopher himself. And some action shots of what just happened here. Do you think the police will confiscate my camera?

[Sam Spade]

No, I will. I saw it first.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Hey, Sam, where you going?

[Sam Spade]

I'm going to do some fishing. You can't leave me holding the bag.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

You got me into this.

[Sam Spade]

You want to get out, don't you? Yeah, but. Okay. Keep me in the clear, you'll have somebody working for you. I felt like a Cat Dundee. But there was nothing I could tell you that they couldn't tell better as eyewitnesses. So I left them there to face you and your homicide boys alone. My first stop after leaving the Belvedere was Ludkin's Lightning Photo Finishes, where I left Pat's camera and filmed. Then I mushed across town to the Fidelity Building. It said on the door, sure enough, room 842. Calvin Christopher, public Relations Council. Well, sir, what can I do for you? You Calvin Christopher? I am. I'd like to ask you some questions, Detective. You hired a girl named Patricia Lane to take some pictures in the Belvedere Hotel, right? Why, no. I advertised for a photographer, but so far, no applicant. What do you need a photographer for, Mr. Crow? Well, that, sir, with all due respect, is none of your business. There's nothing illegal in advertising for a photographer. If I had employed one, I would tell you. So that's a straight answer then. Your story is that you did not employ Ms. Vane and that you have no knowledge of her. That is my story. The girl's story is that she was here in this office and even snapped a picture of you. That film is being developed now, so want to stick with that statement? Look, Frank, you do not have to be acquainted with a person who in order to have your picture taken by or hers. The case may be. I know that. But if your picture shows in that film, I'll know you're lying. Mind if I use your phone? Thanks. On the side. Lieutenant Dundee. Dundee. Sam Spade. That girl you're holding in the pier staff Hotel Belvedere. What girl? Sam? Who's Pierce? Tiny Stover gave you the rumble. He did, didn't he? Not yet, Sam. Well, you're getting it now. Stiff in room 418. Gunshot I'll meet you there. And I did. I won't dwell on that part of it, Lieutenant Beer. You were cross with me and I didn't blame you. Pearson's body was still there and it was still dead. But there was no brunette, no house stick, no gun, and no bullet wound. The medic called it death from natural causes. Heart attack. But the worst was yet to come when I rushed down to Ludkins to get those pictures, just to prove to you that I wasn't completely out of my mind. There were no fishing boats, no pickets, no Mr. Christopher, and no struggle. Nothing but pictures of a complete set of dental X rays. There was a date on them. 714 48. And some initials. S. Q. P. The United States Armed Forces Radio Service is presenting the weekly adventure of Dashiell Hammett's famous private detective, Sam Spade. SQP Seem very familiar somehow. Society of Quail Prevention. So neat. After you and your boys had cleared out, Dundee, I went Back to room 418. I wondered who had fired the shot that both Tiny and the brunette believed had killed Mr. Pierce. I didn't find out, but I did find a.38 slug in the floor under the rug pad. The fibrous material had been scuffed by somebody's foot to hide the bullet hole. Tiny had been reaching for the phone as I left. According to the operator, there'd been no flash on her board before 18. That meant that whoever had stopped them had done so in a matter of seconds. I didn't know whether it had been done with a kiss at gunpoint or with a flint instrument. I doubted anybody would have knocked Tiny out because he was too heavy to carry down eight flights of stairs. I checked Tiny's room on the first floor. It had been ripped to pieces by somebody who obviously had been searching for something no bigger than, say, a roll of film about there. I decided to go and pay my respects to the late Mr. Pier. Good evening, sir. I'm Convers Ethridge. You Never remember me, do you? Was it in connection with the Colum burial? No, we decided against it. Oh. Which was your dear departure? Pierce. Donald Pierce. Late afternoon pick up at the Belvedere. Closed. Yeah, he's still on the sled. I mean he's not quite ready for viewed. Would you like to see the floral tributes? They're truly lovely. Who may be arrangement. Mrs. C. A truly lovely tribute. Small but perfect. A heart shaped wreath with their initials intertwined. DP from SP Yes. That isn't SQP no, sir. The middle initial is usually omitted. That is if desired in the 3250. Of course, I'll gross it by Job. I do remember you. The detective, Mr. Spade. Good heaven. Foul play in regard to our Mr. P. I'm not sure, Mr. Edwards, but maybe you can help. These X rays, could you check and see if they're his? Why surely. Oh, dental X ray. Needn't spend the time. No use. No teeth. A completely dentured subject for a good 10 years, I would say. Oh, pardon me. Something, madam?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I was going to see if I come to hear the ring.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, yes. You'll just wait. Do you know Mr. Spade?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh, they told me at the hotel. Very fortunate that you're here, Mr. Spade.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I'll go and see how things are backstage. I'll see you later.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

All these awful things that people must go through when death comes.

[Sam Spade]

No, it's not pleasant. Were you married long? Two years.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

We were just married in prison.

[Sam Spade]

Now what?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Suppose it shouldn't be a surprise to me. We both knew what could happen at any time.

[Sam Spade]

You mean you've been sick quite a while?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Yes. Coronary occlusions.

[Sam Spade]

Then you agree that's what killed him?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I agreed it. Do you have any reason to think otherwise? I should say.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I think you know more about it than I do.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

His physical condition.

[Sam Spade]

Let's start with yours. How are your teeth?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I don't understand.

[Sam Spade]

These your X rays?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

What happens? No, this is a man's mouth. Where did you get these? What are they supposed to mean?

[Sam Spade]

I think they mean blackmail. Teeth and fingerprints are two of the best identity clinches. These initials SQP could be Sandra something Pierce. They yours?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

No.

[Sam Spade]

Do the initials SQP mean anything to you?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Well, only I thought, of course, prison.

[Sam Spade]

So what?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

San Quentin prison.

[Sam Spade]

San Quentin. Oh, I've been stupid. That's what you meant. Married in prison. Of course.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I thought you knew. Ronald was head of the prison dental laboratory there for 11 years.

[Sam Spade]

I sat down and gaped at. She went on telling me how she'd been his assistant at the prison. How he'd had to quit because the prison routine was too tough for his heart condition. And how he'd batter a tearful farewell because he didn't have any prospects and couldn't ask her to marry Ben.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Practically the first day he arrived in San francisco, he'd wired me to come here immediately and we'd be married. Relative had died and left him $20,000 and more was coming in. He wouldn't even have to work anymore. He could retire. That was wonderful, because he really wasn't well enough to work. They're not listening to me. What are you thinking about?

[Sam Spade]

$20,000 from a relative. Never explained it any better than that, huh?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

No. The man came. The lawyer, I guess it was. I suppose he brought the money because Donald took it to the bank.

[Sam Spade]

Next morning, where were you?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Donald sent me out of the room, but I was afraid to go too far away. He was so excited, and he was exceeding these antagona pains. I just stayed outside in the hallway. I couldn't hear anything he said, but then the door opened, and the man stood there and said, don, I had no idea your sticker was so bad. Someday somebody's going to say food to you and you'll drop dead.

[Sam Spade]

That's what I figured. Mrs. Pierce, I think your husband was murdered. He was literally frightened to death. I had almost all of it.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Now.

[Sam Spade]

Just a name and a number were missing, and I thought I might have them in my office under SQP There was a light showing in my outer office as I came down the hall. It went out as I turned the doorknob.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Stop right where you are. I've got a gun.

[Sam Spade]

That you, pat?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh, it's you, Sam. You were so long, I thought you'd never.

[Sam Spade]

Don't do that. Here. Come on, honey. Don't give up like that.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Here, like this.

[Sam Spade]

What happened?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

I'm so tired. My ankle. I think I broke it. I jumped out of the car.

[Sam Spade]

Let's see. I think it's just a sprain. Rest of his car.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

We were in the back. He slowed down on the raft. There was something stuffed in my mouth. I couldn't make a sound. What's funny?

[Sam Spade]

I'm sorry, baby, but you seem to have spent the entire day pound and gagged. I'm sorry. Go on.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh. After you left us in that awful hotel room, he came in and he was furious. Wanted to know why we had spoiled everything by letting the gun go off, even though Mr. Stover explained that it was only accidental. And then he started Laughing and said he was only fooling and he would take charge. So Mr. Stover left. And then Mr. Christopher held a gun on me and took me down the hall to another room. He pushed me in there, and then he tied me to a chair and puts a gag in me.

[Sam Spade]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, honey. So he. He let you cool off in there until it got dark enough and late enough to get you downstairs and in the car without attracting too much attention. You say he was heading over the bridge to oakland, huh?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Yeah. Why are you shouting so?

[Sam Spade]

I guess I'm just excited. And I was. But not over fat's story. It was something I'd just seen. The shadow of a man against the crossfit class at my office door. I went on talking, I hoped loud enough for him to hear every word I said. Pat, I don't know how to tell you this. It's going to make you feel bad. But sooner or later, you'll have to know about it. This guy named Calvin Christopher. That isn't his right name. And in just a minute, I think I'll have that, too. He gave you a phony pitch about a photography assignment to help somebody get a divorce. But what he had in mind from the beginning was to use you as a murder weapon.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Me? A murder weapon?

[Sam Spade]

You and whichever detective happened to go there with you. You see, Pierce was a blackmailer. He'd been a dentist. And who did he run into one day here in San Francisco, but an escaped Kahn whose teeth he had worked on and of whom, by happy chance, he had a complete set of dental x rays. This con bought the x rays from him for 20 grand. He's still at large and thinks he's safe now that Pierce is dead. But what he doesn't know is that Pierce took snapshots of the x rays before he turned the originals over. The cameras got switched, and I have the x rays right here. Look at him. Sweetheart, what are you.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Get down.

[Sam Spade]

Lie flat. He came in shooting. I kicked the lamp out and answered him. They were all shots in the dark, but mine came closer to keep adding profile against the light. My third shot was the lucky one. It knocked the gun out of his hand, just like in the western. But I was too tired to feel proud. Snap on that light, Pat, and push the phone over here, will you? Stand over, away from that door, Christopher. By the way, what is that name? Croftian. Don't bother to smile. Homicide, Lieutenant Dundee.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Just the chip. Lieutenant Dundee.

[Sam Spade]

Dundee, come over to my office and pick up Victor Graziani. 39, Caucasian. San Quentin lifer. Broke out July 14 this year. You owe me $11 for damage done to my office. Period. End of sq. Cade.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh, Sam Spade Detective Agency. Oh, yes, just Linnick. He's right here. He's a tiny sober thing.

[Sam Spade]

Hello? Time. Tiny. Sam who?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Tiny.

[Sam Spade]

No, Tiny here. Can I call you back?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh, Sam, ain't you interested in what happened to me? I got a clue, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

What were Those initials again? S.Q.P. that's it.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

S.Q.P.

[Sam Spade]

i'm here now. Where?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Seymour Kelly's pool room.

[Sam Spade]

Seymour Kelly's pool room? Yeah. Look, Tiny, don't even. You realize that Kelly isn't spelled with a Q? Since when? Sam Kelly is without a cue. Oh, no, Sam, I think you must be wrong. He's chalking up now. His shot's coming up. Good night, Simon and Sam. Signy, I'd like to go around again with you, but this airtime costs plenty. As you'll know if you ever get your own radio show, which if you did, would be sponsored by the makers of sp. Stupid pill.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Hey, Sam, you should have seen it. Seymour just made a three cushion shot

[Sam Spade]

with the handcuffs on. You should have seen it, Sam. Good night. Honestly, Fanny.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Anything for me, Sam?

[Sam Spade]

Just go tight that up, sweetheart, and have it back in exactly 34 seconds.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Lady. Frank, I'm confused about who is getting divorced. Sam, you shouldn't accept divorce cases.

[Sam Spade]

Effie, it was not a divorce case. You actually mean we require the usual partial recap.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Partial recap? Oh, yes. The dental X rays would have shown that, wouldn't they?

[Sam Spade]

Effie, you're not happy here.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

What?

[Sam Spade]

You have no one to talk properly to. Have you ever thought about maybe Tiny Stover? A lonely man, Effie. All his evenings free forced the pool rooms for diversion. Sweetheart, you could take him away from all that snooker. I could fix it up for you. A Tiny. Come here, sweetheart. Has anyone ever told you how lovely you are?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

You know what always happens when you get me mixed up? I just. I have no. My earrings caught in your face.

[Sam Spade]

Well, say, I'll let you stay on another week.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Thanks for everything.

[Sam Spade]

Forget it.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Good night, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Good night, sweetheart. The Adventures of Sam Spade Sasha Hammett's famous private Detective are produced and directed by William Spear. Sam Spade is played by Howard Dove. Marine Tuttle is epic. The Adventures of Sam Spade Private Detective is a presentation of the United States Armed Forces Radio Service, the voice of information and education.

[Archie Goodwin]

Ladies and gentlemen, that phone bell means adventure. Hello? Hello. The young man answering the phone is Archie Goodwin and the mountain of a man Engaged in deep thought in the oversized armchair is Nero Wolf. What was that? Somebody's going to be murdered who has no manners. Well, what do you want Nero Wolf to do? Teach him manners. Oh, hold on. Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

Yes, Ajim?

[Archie Goodwin]

We've got a prospective client. In case someone she knows gets murdered, she'd like you to do something about it.

[Nero Wolfe]

Very well. However, advise her.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes?

[Nero Wolfe]

Not to get murdered herself. I never take a corpse for a client.

[Archie Goodwin]

Greatest detective in the world. Yes, Archie is so right. He is the greatest detective in the world. And the fattest and the least energetic. He's Nero Wolf. Created by Rex Stout and brought to you over this NBC network in a new series of Adventures by Mr. Sydney Greenstreet. Tonight it's the case of the impolite courts. It began on a certain night at 8:40 when Walter Channing, an advertising executive, was dictating in his office to his charming secretary, Brenda Brown Barclay. Brenda, take a memo.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes, Mr. Channing.

[Archie Goodwin]

This is to be mimeographed and sent to the entire staff.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

The entire staff? Yes, sir.

[Archie Goodwin]

Notice effective at once, one hour. Lunch periods will be strictly enforced. Employees will post time of departure and time of return. Yes, what is it, Mr. Channing? Bennett, I'm busy. I've got to see you, Mr. Channing, about this afternoon. This afternoon was unfortunate, Bennett, but it happened. I lost my temper. I'm sorry.

[Nero Wolfe]

Oh, my.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Mr. Channing.

[Nero Wolfe]

I've been with the firm 14 years and I. Well, because a man blows up once in 14 years.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Channing's office.

[Archie Goodwin]

You've got to reconsider, that's all. Mr. Channing, I never reconsider.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Bennett, it's your wife.

[Archie Goodwin]

But Mr. Channing, that will be old, Bennett. It won't be all.

[Nero Wolfe]

You can't wipe out 14 years of a man's life. Even you can't do that.

[Sam Spade]

Channing.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

It's Mrs. Channing on the phone.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, hello. You're where? That's in this building. Since when has Dr. Ellis kept evening office hours? I told you, there's nothing wrong with you. No, I can't. I don't know when I'll be through and I don't want you hanging around up here. Well, take a cab or walk. I don't care what you do. What? I can't understand you.

[Sam Spade]

What?

[Archie Goodwin]

What? Goodbye, Doris. Where was it?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Walter?

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

You are going to reconsider about Tom Bennett, aren't you?

[Archie Goodwin]

Bennett was insolent this afternoon. I won't tolerate insolence. Yes? Shine, Mr. Channing.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Shine.

[Archie Goodwin]

No. What's he doing down here?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

This time of night, half the staff's working overtime. Carrie was an enterprising shoe shine boy. Might have missed someone on his rounds this afternoon. Walter, A bar. Tom Bennett. Forget Bennett. Look, you upset the ink.

[Sam Spade]

Well, quick, block the stuff.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes, of course. Did any spill on you?

[Archie Goodwin]

Spot up my trouser cuff. Lucky you didn't get on the carpet.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Walter, about Tom Bennett.

[Archie Goodwin]

I told you to forget Bennett.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

All right, Walter, all right.

[Archie Goodwin]

Though maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you'd be better off to use him as a model.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

A model?

[Archie Goodwin]

If he knows he's not wanted around here, he'll have the self respect to get out.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Meaning?

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, you've known for a long time you're not wanted and you're still here.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

How you'd like to fire me.

[Archie Goodwin]

Denying that would be silly.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I've been with this firm 15 years. In January, employees get a bonus of stock shares after 15 years service. That's what I'm waiting for, and you know it.

[Archie Goodwin]

Suppose we get back to that memorandum.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

You'd like to get me out before I collect those shares, wouldn't you?

[Archie Goodwin]

I said let's get on with the memoir.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Be petty enough to do it, too,

[Archie Goodwin]

if you knew how. There may be a way.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

There isn't and you know it. I'm too careful. You can't fire me without cause. And I've given you no cause, Walter. Nothing you can possibly dictate. One of your vicious little memorandums about.

[Archie Goodwin]

Don't try my patience too far, Brenda.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Walter, this can't be us talking like this. You and me hating each other.

[Archie Goodwin]

I find it remarkable there ever was anything between us except hate. Walter, I mean it.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Look at you.

[Archie Goodwin]

You were flashy when I met you. You're getting flashier. That means cheaper.

[Nero Wolfe]

Brenda, stop it.

[Archie Goodwin]

Too much lipstick, too much rouge, hair too bright, dress too tight. You're trying too hard, Brenda. You're labelling yourself like a sound wagon.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I wonder what it is that stops

[Archie Goodwin]

me from killing you. Cowardice, of course. Now, when you've stopped sniveling, we'll get on with a memorandum. You ready? Yes, I'm ready. Notice. In the interest of economy and efficiency. Junior executives will confer in the conference room. Not in private offices. Mid afternoon coffee and personal phone calls and daily shoe shines will be eliminated.

[Nero Wolfe]

Your name is Barkley? Brenda Barkley. Very well, Ms. Bagley. What can I do for you?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Mr. Wolf, I. I don't know how to begin.

[Archie Goodwin]

Maybe I can make this easier all around by briefing Mr. Wolf on the Walter Channing case. Hey, that's funny.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

What?

[Archie Goodwin]

Violet eyes. I always thought there was something the poets made up.

[Nero Wolfe]

Archie.

[Sam Spade]

Huh?

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, the ch. The Channing case.

[Sam Spade]

Yes.

[Nero Wolfe]

One moment, Ms. Barkley. Look this way, please. Me and I is functional.

[Sam Spade]

Object found.

[Nero Wolfe]

Mammals, birds, fish, potatoes and horticulture. Thank you. Go on, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Walter Channing was the boy wonder of advertising at 33. Executive Vice President of Winslow, Hart Stradmeyer. Just 24 hours ago they found him at his desk, shot through the heart.

[Nero Wolfe]

They? Who is they?

[Archie Goodwin]

A night porter and a shoeshine boy. Is that right?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes.

[Archie Goodwin]

He'd been dead about an hour. The bullet went through Channing, his desk chair and lodged in the windowsill behind him. Police thought at first it was suicide. The gun.38. Found it on the floor 10ft away. No fingerprints anyhow. No clear ones.

[Nero Wolfe]

Seldom are on a gun. But it was a suicide?

[Archie Goodwin]

Was suspected.

[Nero Wolfe]

Why?

[Sam Spade]

The gun was 10ft from the body.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

It was the smudges.

[Archie Goodwin]

Smudges? Powder burns. According to the papers, he was sitting at his desk. There were no signs of a struggle. The gun was held against his chest and fired.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

But it wasn't suicide, Mr. Wolf. Walter Channing would never have killed himself.

[Archie Goodwin]

The police have already decided that. Finally. According to the evening papers.

[Nero Wolfe]

And I presume you, Ms. Barkley, are a suspect?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

No, not yet.

[Nero Wolfe]

But you expect to be.

[Archie Goodwin]

That's why you came to me.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

When the police talk to her. Doris, his wife. I've been Walter Channing secretary for eight years.

[Sam Spade]

At one time we thought we were in love.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

This is.

[Nero Wolfe]

Channing was aware of this?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes. Oh, it was a long time ago. It was over. It was finished a long time ago. But she never believed that.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Neither did Alan.

[Archie Goodwin]

Alan who?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Alan Melick, Head of the media department at the agency. We were going to be married when I. When Walter and I decided you were

[Nero Wolfe]

in love, Ms. Barclay, who finally decided you were? Not you or Mr. Channing?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

He did.

[Archie Goodwin]

I see.

[Nero Wolfe]

Mr. Meelik believes you did not share this change of art.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes. Oh, he's such a fool.

[Nero Wolfe]

I dare say you fear Mrs. Channing or Mr. Melick or both, will reveal the self rated romance.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

You know what the papers will make of it? What the police will try to make of it.

[Nero Wolfe]

Ms. Bakke, did you kill Channing?

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

No.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Oh, no, I swear I didn't. Oh, Mr. Wolf, I didn't.

[Nero Wolfe]

Please, for heaven's sake, no tears. Archie, put her in a cab.

[Sam Spade]

Yes, sir.

[Nero Wolfe]

Then come up to the plant room. There are some things I want you to execute for me.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir.

[Sam Spade]

Women.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Bah.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, Mr. Goodmore, I'm Abe Jackson, a night porter. It was working late that night. Mr. Channing and secretary. Mr. B. Bennett, Mr. Melick and his secretary. About 10:30 I met the shoeshine Kelly on Mr. Channing's floor. Was a light burning in Channing's place? Who went in to turn it off?

[Sam Spade]

Kelly and me.

[Archie Goodwin]

And there was sitting at his desk, a hole as big in his chest. Tell me, Mr. Bennet, did Channing have any enemies in the agency?

[Nero Wolfe]

Channing was a slave driver, Mr. Goodman. The girls hated him and men were afraid of him.

[Archie Goodwin]

He'd send out memos like this. Yeah, Take a look at it. It's typical. No coffee, no shoeshines, no office conferences.

[Nero Wolfe]

If you want my opinion as one employee out of 150, whoever killed Walter

[Archie Goodwin]

Channing did the rest of us a favor. You're Amy Long, secretary to Alan Mealik. Now what can you do?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I can tell you plenty. How she jilted Mr. Mealy, took up with Mr. Channing, got thrown over by him. I wouldn't go so far as to say Brenda Barkley would murder anyone. But if she did, Walter Channing would be one A

[Archie Goodwin]

Channing get his shoes shined on you. I called the agency men, sir. You know, it was Jackson and me found him.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Everyone else had gone and left himself,

[Archie Goodwin]

poor soul, sitting at his desk dead.

[Nero Wolfe]

This specimen, a minimus treed orchid. Beautiful, isn't it? Mrs. Channing? Mr. Miller.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I could never quite like orchids. They have no smell, you know.

[Archie Goodwin]

It's pretty all right, but tulips are more in my line, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

Tulips, Mr. Mealy?

[Archie Goodwin]

I had to stand of emperors this spring.

[Nero Wolfe]

Emperors. Come in, Archie. Emperors, Mr. Mealy.

[Sam Spade]

That's the name of a tulip, Mr. Woolworth.

[Nero Wolfe]

A peasant flower. I've heard of it, of course. Archie. Mrs. Channing, Mr. Medic, my assistant, Mr. Goodwick.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Mr. Goodwin.

[Archie Goodwin]

Didn't know you had company.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Mr. Wolf asked us here to explain

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

why Brenda Baki is worried.

[Nero Wolfe]

And you have both agreed to respect her position.

[Archie Goodwin]

Brenda ought to know I'd never tell the police anything to get her into trouble. Foolish, sir. He said fully, Mr. Melic. Meaning he doubts what you say and does not admit your right to say.

[Nero Wolfe]

Say it, Archie. Mr. Meek, you say you'd never intentionally inform on Ms. Barkley.

[Archie Goodwin]

Certainly not.

[Nero Wolfe]

The tongue slip, sir. We would expect you to guard your.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

What do you think what I started to say? You asked us here because Brenda Barclay is your client. I despise Ms. Barkley. Everyone knows that and why. But I wouldn't stoop to implicating her in murder.

[Nero Wolfe]

You believe her innocent then, Mrs. Channing?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I believe she lacks the gumption to pull a trigger. Poison I wouldn't put past her at all.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Mr. Meelik, would you be kind enough

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

to see me home?

[Sam Spade]

Of course, Mrs. Channing.

[Archie Goodwin]

Good day, Mr. Wolfe.

[Nero Wolfe]

Good day.

[Archie Goodwin]

And Mr. Goodwin.

[Nero Wolfe]

You have, I suppose, an exhaustive report from me. Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Seven pages of notes.

[Nero Wolfe]

Save them and get me a bottle of beer.

[Archie Goodwin]

You're in a rosy mood. What happened?

[Nero Wolfe]

I said I would like a bottle of beer.

[Archie Goodwin]

No, you wouldn't.

[Sam Spade]

Archie, you better don't puff up about it.

[Archie Goodwin]

Those vest buttons won't stand the strain. I can't get you a bottle of beer.

[Sam Spade]

Why not?

[Archie Goodwin]

You ordered me to hold you to four a day.

[Nero Wolfe]

I rescind the order.

[Archie Goodwin]

You also ordered me not to let you rescind the order. What's the matter with you anyhow?

[Nero Wolfe]

They've had to entertain two very dull people too long.

[Archie Goodwin]

Both those dull people are prime suspects. Mrs. Channing is a woman scorned. Melek lost his girl to the guy who was killed.

[Nero Wolfe]

I can't blame her for throwing him over. Archie, the man grows tulips.

[Archie Goodwin]

What? Cut it.

[Nero Wolfe]

Well, give me a report.

[Archie Goodwin]

I checked the agency, everybody who was working down there the night of the murder. Also, I dropped in on inspector Kramer at homicide. Also I visited the morgue.

[Nero Wolfe]

Why the more?

[Archie Goodwin]

Because if I hadn't, you'd have said why not the more.

[Sam Spade]

Go on.

[Archie Goodwin]

I drew a blank there. Kramer. Let me look at the clothes Channing was wearing. There was an ink stain on the left trouser cuff.

[Nero Wolfe]

Ink stain?

[Archie Goodwin]

And a hole through his shirt front with plenty of powder smudge. Like the paper said, he was shot with a.38 at point blank range. Sitting down an impolite corpse. What?

[Nero Wolfe]

Discourteous. He didn't rise to meet his murderer. That is most significant, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

I know. I've got a theory about this case.

[Nero Wolfe]

No theories, facts, if you please.

[Archie Goodwin]

But Look, Channing owned a.38, that's a fact. It's disappeared. That's another fact. The murder gun was a.38 with the numbers filed off. And it could be Channing's own gun.

[Nero Wolfe]

Thereby proving what, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

That his wife had access to it?

[Nero Wolfe]

Your theory involves Mrs. Channing then?

[Archie Goodwin]

And me. Like she decides her husband is less trouble to her dead than alive. Regrettable tendency of wives, have you noticed? And she sells Melick on the idea? Now that wouldn't be hard. They figured to make it look like suicide. But Melik loses his head and runs, drops the gun on his way out.

[Sam Spade]

And

[Archie Goodwin]

you don't buy it?

[Nero Wolfe]

Enough of theories.

[Archie Goodwin]

The that out of your notebook. One, nine people were on the scene that night working late for one reason or another.

[Nero Wolfe]

Mrs. Channing tells me she was visiting a doctor's office in the same building.

[Sam Spade]

By the way.

[Archie Goodwin]

Two, every one of those people hated Channing. Three, here's a sample of why he wasn't popular. Memorandum dictated the night he was killed. The staff got it the next morning.

[Nero Wolfe]

A whip cracker. Ah, Mr. Channing.

[Archie Goodwin]

Fact four, the ink stain in this trouser cup was partly rubbed out.

[Nero Wolfe]

With what?

[Archie Goodwin]

Cleaner of some kind. I didn't get brand. Fact five, there's a spot on the carpet near Channing's chair.

[Nero Wolfe]

Spot of what? Ink.

[Archie Goodwin]

Blood. Looks like ink.

[Nero Wolfe]

It looks like.

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, I didn't analyze it on the spur of the moment. My chemical set isn't working so good, boss.

[Nero Wolfe]

Archie, I want two things.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir.

[Nero Wolfe]

Get over to headquarters. The police have Channing's trousers. Suggest to Inspector Kramer that he have the stain analyzed. Suggest also that the spot on the carpet be analyzed at the same time. Be around him when the information arrives.

[Archie Goodwin]

This is be kind to the police week.

[Nero Wolfe]

Phooey. I never have sought to meet the police on matters of fact, Only on interpretation, deduction.

[Archie Goodwin]

Get going.

[Nero Wolfe]

Oenagi.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes?

[Nero Wolfe]

When you return, I should discourse upon the sanctity of desk hood.

[Archie Goodwin]

The sanctity of what hood?

[Nero Wolfe]

Desk hood. Now be off with you. And please remember you're tracking a murderer. Don't stub your toe,

[Archie Goodwin]

Goodwin. The thing on the carpet was a dye of some kind. Die. Huh? How long will it take the lab to give you the analysis on it, inspector?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, not very long.

[Archie Goodwin]

I've got the report on what was used on the trouser cuff right now though. And they found traces of carbon tetrachloride. Wait a minute, this goes in the notebook. A carbon tetrachloride and something else. Goodwin, what's Wolf after? Interpretations was what he said, Inspector. You object?

[Sam Spade]

No.

[Archie Goodwin]

Maybe I'll get an interpretation too. The something else was perchlor ethylene perchlora. Why, Inspector, such language.

[Nero Wolfe]

Oh, what? What? The phone. I. No, not back here. Hello?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Mr. Wolf?

[Nero Wolfe]

Yes?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

This is Brenda Barkley. Oh, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

What is it, Ms. Barkley?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

You've got to come to Mr. Channing's office right away. Mr. Wolfe.

[Nero Wolfe]

Mr. Goodwin has been to your office. Everything I need to know. He's got to come, Mr. Wolf. Nonsense. I don't go out. My digestion disapproves of it. I disapprove of it.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

But, Mr. Goodwin, he's in danger.

[Nero Wolfe]

What? What's that?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Terrible danger. He needs you here at once, Archie.

[Nero Wolfe]

In danger? Let me talk to him.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Please.

[Sam Spade]

Come, hurry.

[Nero Wolfe]

What's happening? Hello, Sparkly. Fritz, get out of the car. Bring me my wool muffler and worsted vest. See if you can find my galoshes. Confound it, I've got to go out.

[Sam Spade]

Go on up.

[Nero Wolfe]

Step to the rear of the car, please. Mister, will you please step back? I'm back as far as I can go.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

You are.

[Nero Wolfe]

Elevates contraptions for little men. Come, come. Take me up, young man.

[Archie Goodwin]

All this, all that car. I'm late for a date with a blonde. 16th floor, buddy.

[Nero Wolfe]

Evening, Mr. Goodman.

[Archie Goodwin]

Good evening.

[Nero Wolfe]

I was told you were in danger.

[Archie Goodwin]

Danger? I. Mr. Wolf, you would. What are you doing out down here? Sparkly's idea about me being in danger.

[Nero Wolfe]

Obviously, she was lying. I suspected at the time, but I fell in with her suggestion. I'm anxious to end the case. My presence here is needed.

[Archie Goodwin]

Don't understand why she'd do such a thing. And why is your presence needed, 16th floor?

[Nero Wolfe]

It's a matter of perspective.

[Archie Goodwin]

Brenda's got a very nice perspective. She'll be around here someplace. The agency's got this whole floor down this corridor next to Channing's. Kramer came through on those reports from the lab. That smudge on the carpet wasn't ink, it was a dye. Powdered aniline. Brenda.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Oh, Mr. Wolf, thank heaven you're here.

[Archie Goodwin]

Hey, I'm here, too.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Police. They questioned me again this afternoon. I'm so frightened. Mr. Wolf, you've got to find the murderer before they.

[Archie Goodwin]

Before, baby, take it easy.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Oh, hello, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Hello. What's the idea trying to pull a fast one on Mr. Wolf?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I just had to see him. Please understand.

[Nero Wolfe]

Is this Channing's office?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes.

[Archie Goodwin]

You told him I was in danger?

[Nero Wolfe]

At last, the place to sit down.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I had to tell him something to get him down here.

[Archie Goodwin]

He's not happy. You comfortable there, sir?

[Nero Wolfe]

Ms. Barclay, come here.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Oh, Mr. Wolf, I can explain. I thought if you were here where it happened. I mean, if you could see for yourself, then you'd.

[Nero Wolfe]

Young woman, there are many things I'd like to say to you.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, now, wait a minute. She was scared, boss.

[Nero Wolfe]

However, I am too short of breath

[Sam Spade]

to do them justice.

[Nero Wolfe]

Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes?

[Nero Wolfe]

Round up everyone concerned with this case right now, including Mrs. Channing. Get them in here.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir.

[Nero Wolfe]

You help him, Miss Barkley. And close that window.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes, Mr. Wall.

[Nero Wolfe]

Fresh air is that enough today, thanks to you, to last me a lifetime. If after all that exposure, I live a lifetime.

[Archie Goodwin]

What's going on here anyhow? A tea party? Find yourself seats. Keep your knees steady. All right, Mr. Wolf, everybody's here.

[Nero Wolfe]

Is this you, Shine, Carrie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Here, sir. Here.

[Nero Wolfe]

It was you who found the body?

[Archie Goodwin]

Him and me. Ms. Wolf, I'm Abe Jackson.

[Sam Spade]

A nightmare.

[Nero Wolfe]

You gentlemen can help us if you will.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, to be sure, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

I'd like to know the exact position of the body when you found it.

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, he was setting up.

[Nero Wolfe]

That's it, sir.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sitting up straight, as you please.

[Nero Wolfe]

You'll oblige me if you demonstrate. Sit in the chair, please. His chair, sir, if you please.

[Archie Goodwin]

Abe, you. Yeah.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, no, no, not me.

[Archie Goodwin]

Not on your life.

[Nero Wolfe]

There's no easy thing you ask, Mr. Wolf.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I.

[Archie Goodwin]

But I'll oblige you.

[Nero Wolfe]

So it was like.

[Archie Goodwin]

Like this, I'd say.

[Nero Wolfe]

You agree, Mr. Jackson?

[Sam Spade]

A little more right, maybe.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Yeah.

[Archie Goodwin]

That's the way he was.

[Nero Wolfe]

Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir?

[Nero Wolfe]

Help me with a brief recapitulation.

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, so far as we know, Channing made no outcry.

[Nero Wolfe]

Therefore, he could not have been startled by the appearance of the killer.

[Archie Goodwin]

There were powder burns on the body,

[Nero Wolfe]

therefore the gun was against Channing when it was fired. His own hand couldn't have held it closer.

[Archie Goodwin]

Nobody heard the shot, probably because this officer soundproofed. The gun that killed him was lying on the floor 10ft from the desk

[Nero Wolfe]

in the direction of flight. Through that door. Go on, Auntie.

[Archie Goodwin]

The killer was almost certainly well known to Channing, or Channing wouldn't have let him come that close without a struggle or an alarm. Also, the killer had access to this office. Another proof that he's not a stranger.

[Nero Wolfe]

One more point, if I may, Archie. The killer, he or she is present here.

[Archie Goodwin]

Now, be quiet, everyone.

[Nero Wolfe]

We come now to the point I mentioned to you last night, Archie. The point I call the sanctity of desk hood.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Sanctity of What?

[Nero Wolfe]

Desk hood, Mrs. Jenning. Explain, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Still figure it's so important.

[Nero Wolfe]

Absolutely essential.

[Archie Goodwin]

I wrote it here somewhere.

[Patricia 'Pat' Bain]

Oh.

[Archie Goodwin]

Desk hood refers to that area behind a desk where a man earns his livelihood, makes his career, builds his reputation.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

You mean here, where I'm sitting?

[Archie Goodwin]

So long as a man sits at his desk, he enjoys a curious area of privacy. He is remarkably safe from intrusion. That's it, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

Sanctity of desk. Couldn't think about it a moment. You'll see what I mean.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Nonsense. I've gone around that desk hundreds of times. I'm sure she has many more. Hundreds. If you mean what I think you mean. Mrs. Channing.

[Nero Wolfe]

You are pleased, lady? Mrs. Channing, when you approached your husband at his desk, what did he do?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

What did he. Why, he stood up and he stood

[Nero Wolfe]

up sparkly, you agree?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Yes. He'd have to stand up at least he always did.

[Nero Wolfe]

But for his murderer he did not. Archie, resume from your notes, please.

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, whoever killed Walter Channing went around the desk without Channing rising, held a gun to his chest and pulled the trigger.

[Nero Wolfe]

Excuse me. If you will go behind the desk and stand facing Mr. Kelly.

[Archie Goodwin]

Archie, here. This the way you mean?

[Nero Wolfe]

You know the angle of the body wound or the hole in the chair?

[Archie Goodwin]

There wasn't any angle. One was in a straight line with the other.

[Nero Wolfe]

From where you stand now in front of Mr. Kelly, if you wish to inflict an identical wound upon him, could you do it?

[Archie Goodwin]

Not from where I stand. I'd have to kneel.

[Nero Wolfe]

You'd have to kneel. Do so. No, please. The murder tableau. I mean, that's what the question now. Who could kneel before Channing get close enough to kill him from that position without alarming him in the least?

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Kelly, the shoeshine man.

[Nero Wolfe]

Hey, hey, wait a minute now.

[Archie Goodwin]

Shut up you, and sit there.

[Nero Wolfe]

His motive is crystal clear.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

The memorandum.

[Nero Wolfe]

Memorandum? You have a copy?

[Archie Goodwin]

Aji in my notebook.

[Nero Wolfe]

Ah, yes. Ms. Barclay, read the part which could explain Mr. Kelly's action. No, no, not the memorandum was all over the office. Kelly must have seen it.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Wait a minute now. A notice effective at once. Yes, here it is. In the interest of economy, daily shoe shines will be eliminated.

[Archie Goodwin]

That'd cut off Kelly's bread and butter.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Kelly. I can't believe it.

[Nero Wolfe]

Nor can I.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

What?

[Nero Wolfe]

It's obvious. Kelly murdered Walter Channing. Mr. Wolf.

[Archie Goodwin]

Now listen, I did nothing.

[Nero Wolfe]

The obvious can be too obvious.

[Archie Goodwin]

Meaning what exactly?

[Nero Wolfe]

Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir.

[Nero Wolfe]

Brief these people on the ink stained trousers.

[Archie Goodwin]

Channing spilled ink on his trouser cuff the night he was murdered. Somebody tried to clean the spot off.

[Nero Wolfe]

What?

[Archie Goodwin]

According to the police analysis, carbon tetrachloride and perchloroethylene showed up.

[Nero Wolfe]

Those non inflammable ingredients used in many commercial cleaners.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

Exactly what are you getting at, Mr. Wolf?

[Nero Wolfe]

One moment, Mrs. Channing. Mr. Goodwin also has an analysis of the spot on the carpet behind the desk. Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

A powder form of dye. Aniline.

[Nero Wolfe]

Dye used in what perhaps?

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, the lab suggested a shoe dressing.

[Nero Wolfe]

I got no powder dye.

[Archie Goodwin]

I swear I ain't, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

I'm sure you haven't, Mr. Kelly. You'll find this particular type of dressing is used on women's shoes. Suede shoes, usually.

[Mrs. Channing / Brenda Barkley]

I don't understand.

[Archie Goodwin]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Nero Wolfe]

Yes, Auntie.

[Archie Goodwin]

If a woman. Now, suppose a woman knelt in front of Channing to clean that in spot off his trouser cuff. That smudge could have rubbed off the tip of her shoe onto the carpet.

[Nero Wolfe]

Exactly. I believe you'll find a typewriter cleaner contains tetrachloride and perchlorethylene.

[Archie Goodwin]

Something else just occurred to me. That memo was sent around the morning after Channing was killed. I never thought of that.

[Nero Wolfe]

True, Archie, and for only one purpose. To point suspicion at Kelly.

[Archie Goodwin]

But when the police didn't take the hint.

[Nero Wolfe]

Go on, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Why then somebody else was brought down here who would. Comes round to three questions, doesn't it? Who knew about the memo? Who had access to Channing's file, where he kept his gun, and who made sure Nero Wolf would see the evidence against Kelly?

[Nero Wolfe]

Three questions, Archie, with one answer. That spells the name of the murderous. Our own client, Brenda Bakke. Steak, Archie, Marinated. You like it?

[Archie Goodwin]

I'm not hungry.

[Nero Wolfe]

Indeed. I suggest a tonic.

[Archie Goodwin]

That reminds me, I had a call you had Doris Channing. She had some idea about my explaining things to her.

[Nero Wolfe]

She found my explanation insufficient.

[Archie Goodwin]

No, but she felt it lacked the personal touch.

[Nero Wolfe]

Hand me a can of beer. However, you do have the evening off.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir.

[Nero Wolfe]

Keep out of trouble. Doris Channing is a blonde. Let us try to keep out of

[Archie Goodwin]

trouble in the company of a blonde who wants to. Good night, sir.

[Nero Wolfe]

Good night, aji. Good night. You have been listening to the New Adventures of Nero Wolf, starring Sydney Greenstreet. Tonight's transcribed story by William Kendall Clark was based on the characters created by Rex Stout. This is an Edmund Fadiman program, produced and directed by J. Donald Wilson. In the cast were Larry Dobkin as Archie Goodman and Donald Morrison, Betty Lou Gerson, Bill Johnstone, Howard McNear, Mary Lansing and Barney Phillips. Next week at the same time, Nero Wolf and Archie will bring you the case of the Girl who Cried Wolf. John Storm speaking. Dear Award Archie and all of our cast hope that our listeners have taken time out from this busy Christmas season to help brighten some youngsters. Christmas Day, be sure to send a thing, your choice of anything you think a child would like for Christmas to the groups in your own town who are distributing these toy gifts to less fortunate children. Three chimes mean good times on NBC.

[Case Closed Host]

There's more. Spade Wolf, case Closed. And all of the other podcasts, the website and our shoutcast stream with even more Old Time Radio. You can donate through the website as well if you'd like to help support this and all of the relic radio shows. Thanks again to those who have thanks for joining me this Wednesday. I'll be back next Wednesday with another hour of mystery on Case Closed.