Case Closed! Podcast Summary:

Episode: Richard Diamond and Crime Classics
Date: September 17, 2025
Host: RelicRadio.com
Theme: Revisiting engaging crime stories from the golden age of radio, focusing on mysteries and true crime tales. This episode features a classic hardboiled detective drama ("Richard Diamond, Private Detective" – "The Red Rose") and a darkly comic historical true crime ("Crime Classics" – "Bunny Bombler and His Close Brush with Fame").

Episode Overview

This special hour of Case Closed! features two distinct old-time radio crime dramas that offer a blend of suspense, wit, and, in the case of Crime Classics, dark humor. Listeners are treated to a suspenseful detective yarn in "Richard Diamond: The Red Rose" followed by a satirical, historical retelling of a notorious German crime in "Crime Classics: Bunny Bombler and His Close Brush with Fame."

Segment One: Richard Diamond, Private Detective – "The Red Rose"

[00:00–28:09]

Main Theme

A down-on-his-luck private eye is tasked with saving a desperate client who hired a hitman to kill him—and now, with his fortunes reversed, needs Diamond to hunt down and stop the assassin before it’s too late. The case spirals as murder, underworld secrets, and a mysterious killer with a signature red rose unfold.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Highlights

• Downturn and Opportunity:

  • Richard Diamond opens in his office, lamenting a dry spell in business, joking with his friend Helen about visiting her for comfort—and dinner—if business stays bad.
    • Memorable banter:
      • Richard Diamond: "Better wear a bathing suit."
      • Helen: "Are you gonna cry that much?" (00:15)

• A Desperate Client Walks In:

  • John Alistair admits to having arranged his own assassination after embezzling funds, only for his situation to change when a wealthy relative offers to bail him out
  • Now, the middleman (Gimpy) who hired the killer is dead, and the killer is still expected to execute the hit (03:05).
    • John Alistair: "Two days ago, I made arrangements for my own assassination."

• Clues & Red Roses:

  • Diamond’s investigation leads to Skid Row and the Black and Red bar, where Gimpy was killed—the killer reportedly argued over $200 and wore a distinctive red flower (07:12).
    • Bartender: "The guy who killed Gimpy was wearing a small red flower in his buttonhole. A red flower? Like a rose, but I remember it. Funny, a guy like that should be wearing a pretty flower."

• Dance Studio Lead:

  • The only known friend of Gimpy is Belle De Canto, a gruff dance teacher who reacts nervously when asked about the red rose.
    • Comedic moment as Diamond endures her sharp tongue while a student suggests he’d look good in tights (10:15).

• Danger Escalates:

  • A red rose on the stairs tips Diamond that the killer may be close and tracking him and his client (11:40).

• Attempted Murder & Detective Showdown:

  • Diamond is ambushed in his apartment by one of the assassins, confirming the red rose man is Drago, a professional killer who has silenced most witnesses.
    • Drago’s associate: "We know you've been trying to find him. And we don't want anybody who can pin Gimpy's killing on us." (15:57)

• Murders Mount:

  • Belle De Canto is found murdered, as Drago tries to eliminate all connections.

• Break in the Case:

  • With police help, Diamond tracks Drago by following his habit of buying a single fresh red rose every day from a street flower vendor (23:01).
    • Flower Woman: "Yes, Mr. Drago. I sell him a red rose every evening. Fresh."

• Climactic Confrontation:

  • Drago sneaks into the hotel where Alistair is hiding. Diamond pursues via fire escape and, in a tense exchange, shoots Drago dead—right through the rose on his lapel as he climbs through the window (27:05).
    • Diamond: "Shot him right through his red rose."

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "No sense in standing in a draft. Might catch pneumonia before we get around to my fee." – Richard Diamond to his new client (02:53)
• "You got to find him before he kills me." – John Alistair, desperate for protection (04:32)
• "If Drago likes red roses, he must buy them someplace." – Diamond deduces how to track the killer (20:46)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Introduction and witty banter with Helen
• 03:05 – John Alistair hires Diamond
• 06:22 – First clues from bartender; red rose revealed as a motif
• 10:05 – At Belle De Canto’s dance studio
• 13:46 – Red rose found on steps; realization of being tailed
• 15:38 – Apartment confrontation with Drago’s associate
• 24:22 – Police find clue to Drago’s location
• 27:05 – Showdown on fire escape; Drago killed

Segment Two: Crime Classics – "Bunny Bombler and His Close Brush with Fame"

[29:52–58:54]

Main Theme

A dramatized, semi-comic retelling of a real 19th-century German crime: the story of Bunny Bombler, a hapless, ridiculed man who becomes a murder suspect and local celebrity—not through cunning or intent, but by accident and misadventure.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Highlights

• Satirical Storytelling Style:

  • Narrated by Thomas Hyland, Crime Classics blends dry humor with factual narration, highlighting the absurdities in human nature and criminal history.

• The Life of Bunny Bombler:

  • Bunny is a small, unlucky man, constantly mocked by his domineering wife Helga and neighbors, even as he tries and spectacularly fails at everything from chopping wood to burglary (31:07).
    • Helga: "Nothing you do turns out right. Nothing."
    • Bunny: "I ask myself constantly why I ever married you. Because I love you. I'll show you I love you. How?"

• From Failure to Farce to Prison:

  • To buy his wife a watch, Bunny attempts burglary but blunders so badly he knocks himself out and is easily arrested.
    • Narration: “He crashed into a display case and shattering it. Become alarmed, another display case. Panic stricken, head on into Herr Kleinhalt's cuckoo clasp, knocking himself unconscious.”

• Return Home & Another Blunder:

  • Upon release, Helga’s mockery continues, but Bunny remains loving—and forgets the bag of buns his wife sent him to fetch (38:00).

• A Crime Committed—But Not By Bunny:

  • Four people are found bludgeoned in the beer hall where Bunny had just left his bag of buns. He confesses under pressure, finally achieving the attention and ‘fame’ he so desired (43:00).
    • Police: "A crime unparalleled in the annals of Nuremberg. And I disagree. And I did it."
    • Narration: "All at once, Bunny Bombler was special above the crowd. And no one could laugh at him anymore."

• Satirical Investigation and Psychological Analysis:

  • The authorities and a young psychologist, Adolf Megler, attempt to analyze Bunny’s supposed transformation from meek fool to "most dangerous criminal of the 19th century."
    • Megler: "Show me a man and I'll show you a madness" (47:40).

• Farce Revealed:

  • It's finally deduced Bunny couldn't possibly have committed the murders due to his bumbling nature, and the real killer is uncovered. Bunny is cleared—but misfortune strikes again as he inherits a fortune, only to perish at sea when his ship sinks (55:49).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Helga (to Bunny): "Even now, Bruno's head has got more brains than you have." (31:13)
• Bunny: "I said I was going to get your watch. Well, it is not a very good watch. I agree it's not the watch you wanted, but it's all I could afford." (37:10)
• Narrator: "A crime unparalleled in the annals of Nuremberg."
• Magistrate: "You couldn't kill a fly."
• Bunny: "If I had an axe, I'd show you pity. I have no axe. However... that Andiron, for example."

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 29:52 – Case introduction: The beer hall murders and “buns” clue
• 31:07 – Bunny’s daily bungles and wife’s mockery
• 34:00 – Botched burglary, arrest, and jail sentence
• 38:00 – Return home, more mishaps (and buns forgotten)
• 43:00 – Accused and confesses to the crime under interrogation
• 47:40 – Megler’s psychological probing and town’s reaction
• 55:49 – Revelation: Bunny was innocent after all; unfortunate end

Style & Tone

• Richard Diamond:

  • Witty, sardonic, with snappy back-and-forths, hardboiled monologues, and a running undercurrent of wisecracks even amidst life-or-death stakes.

• Crime Classics:

  • Formal, ironic, and deadpan; Thomas Hyland’s narration mixes dry humor with detail, turning a true crime story into a parable on luck, reputation, and the absurdity of fame.

Memorable Moments

• Richard Diamond's dry humor juxtaposed with the ever-rising body count and the motif of the red rose.
• Bunny Bombler's entire life as a series of comic misfortunes, culminating in his accidental brush with criminal “greatness”—then tragic downfall.

Conclusion

This episode of Case Closed! is a prime example of the golden age of radio's ability to mix suspense, character, humor, and irony. Fans of detective stories and true crime will especially appreciate:

• The suspenseful, noir world of Richard Diamond—complete with classic hardboiled tropes and a killer’s calling card.
• The unique, historical, and bitingly humorous “Crime Classics,” providing reflection on reputation, chance, and the construction of criminal myth.

Listeners are left with both satisfaction from Diamond’s resolution of a tangled case, and wry amusement (and sympathy) for the hapless—if briefly, notorious—Bunny Bombler.