Richard Diamond and Let George Do It

Summary

Case Closed! Podcast - July 29, 2026

Episode: Richard Diamond, Private Detective & Let George Do It

Presented by RelicRadio.com

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Overview

This episode of Case Closed! features two classic old-time radio crime dramas from the golden age:

1. Richard Diamond, Private Detective in "The Misplaced Laundry Case" (originally aired September 6, 1950) – a comedic but hard-boiled detective story revolving around a case of mistaken laundry, murder, and a coded message leading to a narcotics ring.
2. Let George Do It with "Drop Dead" (originally aired July 23, 1951) – a quirky, noir-tinged mystery centered on a colorful cast at a waterfront hotel, a mysterious parrot, suspicious deaths, and hidden counterfeiting.

Both stories are filled with the snappy dialogue and lively characters characteristic of golden age crime drama, combining humor with suspense.

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1. Richard Diamond, Private Detective: "The Misplaced Laundry Case"

Main Theme

A seemingly trivial case of swapped laundry bundles spirals into a dangerous investigation for Richard Diamond, leading him through murder, a coded shirt collar, and a daring sting involving narcotics smuggling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Domestic Troubles and Mistaken Laundry

• Diamond is exhausted, broke, and late for dinner with his girlfriend Helen and her mother. A mundane laundry mix-up gives Diamond the wrong bundle (02:32–03:00).
• Helen provides practical advice: "So use one of the shirts out of the wrong bundle… Make it now. I won’t have you being late again." (03:04)

The Late-Night Stranger & a Gunpoint Exchange

• At 2am, a stranger (later identified as Jones) comes to Diamond’s apartment demanding his laundry—with a gun (05:05–06:18).
• Memorable banter:
  • Diamond: “You got the only long underwear with sequins?”
  • Intruder: “Move.”

A Call for Help & a Murder

• Mr. Green, the laundry’s owner, frantically calls Diamond: "Someone's going to try and kill me." (07:00–07:13)
• When Diamond rushes over, Green is shot by a gunman from the fire escape, uttering "Jones. Wrong laundry number." before dying (08:00–08:33).

Investigating the Laundry’s Secret

• Diamond and Lieutenant Walt connect the wrong laundry bundle to a coded number on a shirt collar (13:23–13:51).
• Insightful deduction: The ticket numbers could be flipped (66 vs. 99), leading to the wrong laundry bundle (12:27–12:47).

Decoding the Clue

• The collar code “86A45L” is cracked as directions for a narcotics pickup at 46th and Lexington at 6 am (15:07–16:16).
  • Walt: "Experience and a little common sense." (16:22)

The Sting Operation

• Early morning stakeout leads to the capture (and shooting) of Jones, who confesses the operation: “Junk. A hundred thousand in morphine. …Instructions in the collar of one of the shirts." (19:58–20:13)

Unmasking the Ringleader

• Tracing the laundry leads to Superior Cleaning and Arthur Levin. Under pressure, Levin confesses to running ten laundries for drug trafficking, including using coded shirt collars:
  • “Yes, you marked the shirt collars and sent Charlie Usher to deliver the stuff.” (25:57)
  • Levin: “That’s right. I had ten laundries working for me. Green was one of them.” (26:02–26:08)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Diamond’s wit at the dinner table:
  • “Helen’s mother suggested Monopoly. Then I nearly shelled her and ducked her in the mustard.” (03:58)
• On being forced to trade laundry at gunpoint:
  • “If anything could have opened my little old sleepy blue eyes, it was that lovely gun.” (05:37)
• On deducing the code:
  • “Perseverance, a sharp mind, and nothing’s too tough for us.” (15:38)
• On catching the main criminal:
  • “This shirt turned into a mess.” (22:43)

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Important Timestamps

• Laundry mix-up recounted: 02:27–03:26
• Armed swap with Jones: 05:05–06:18
• Green’s murder: 07:56–08:33
• Discovering and decoding laundry code: 12:00–16:16
• Confrontation and shootout at 46th & Lexington: 18:23–20:27
• Levin's confession: 25:35–26:08

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2. Let George Do It: "Drop Dead"

Main Theme

A noir-ish mystery built around a quirky hotel, a parrot, a writer-turned-client, and a nesting doll of secrets—where the phrase “Drop Dead!” proves pivotal.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Writer’s Call & The Beginning

• Writer Mr. Yule seeks George Valentine’s help with an unfinished story involving a mysterious seaman, a green-and-orange parrot, and a sense of impending danger (31:04).

The Waterfront Hotel—A Cast of Characters

• Valentine, Brooksie, and Yule meet Captain Charlie, Sadie, the morose printer Morton, and the seaman Limey at the decaying Neptune Palace hotel.
  • “This hotel needs is a rubber plant… in Bombay once I seen the most lovely rubber plant.” (35:03)

The Parrot and its Deadly Catchphrase

• The hotel’s prized bird, Baby, only says: “Drop dead!”—which becomes oddly prophetic as deaths mount (37:16–37:32).

Two Deaths and a Counterfeit Mystery

• The foreign sailor who sold the parrot is found dead, bushwhacked in a nearby alley (38:09).
• The seaman Limey is later found dead—pushed or lured down the stairs (41:21–41:24).

Coded Clues & A Setup

• A tobacco plug leads Valentine to suspect the American seaman, not the mysterious foreigner.
• Valentine uses the parrot as bait, gets knocked out, and realizes someone wants the money he picked up—likely connected to the parrot purchase (48:33–51:05).

The Real Culprit—Counterfeiter in Residence

• Valentine deduces that Morton is a counterfeiter, using his room’s printing press:
  • “Menus, remember? Green ones with pictures of Lincoln and Washington and people like that on.” (53:26–53:29)
• The murders and attempted murder were to recover (or replace) a marked $25 among the hundred used to buy the bird.

Wrapping Up the Case

• The foreign sailor was not part of a mysterious Oriental plot. He merely wanted his bird, which he’d stolen and tried to sell.
• The rest is a tangle of misdirection, eccentricity, and noir irony.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the sleazy hotel:
  • “Tips like a one-legged man… Just the ones Captain Charlie asked to stay permanently.” (32:48)
• Introducing the parrot’s phrase:
  • Captain Charlie: "Speak out for the people, baby."
    Sadie: "Drop dead." (37:17–37:30)
• George gets knocked out by drugged coffee:
  • “What’s the matter with you? ... You took a drink of my coffee?” (49:25)
• Valentine’s deduction:
  • “Suppose in this place one person isn’t so respectable. ... His press must be in the locked room.” (53:21–53:29)
• Brooksie’s dry quip:
  • “Green ones with pictures of Lincoln and Washington and people like that on.” (53:26)
• The final radio wink:
  • “Maybe you could sell it to one of those mystery shows on the radio.” (55:51)

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Important Timestamps

• Yule’s story and frantic phone call: 31:04–31:45
• Hotel cast introduced: 32:45–36:08
• Parrot debuts “Drop dead”: 37:17–37:32
• First murder discovery: 38:09–38:41
• Second death—Limey: 41:17–41:24
• Valentine poisoned and revelation about the money: 49:10–51:05
• Counterfeit plot revealed: 53:21–53:29
• Final unraveling & jokes about selling the story to radio: 55:51–56:12

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Final Takeaway

This episode of Case Closed! is a perfect showcase of the lively, layered storytelling and memorable personalities that made radio crime drama a household staple. Weaving mundane mishaps (like laundry confusion or a talking parrot) into life-and-death stakes, both stories blend sharp humor and suspense. Whether it’s Diamond’s laconic wisecracks or Valentine’s methodical deductions, justice prevails—with plenty of mid-century style.

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For more golden age crime tales, visit RelicRadio.com and subscribe for weekly episodes!

Transcript

[Narrator]

Foreign.

[Host]

This is Case Closed Crime stories from the golden age of radio. Welcome back to Case Closed. I've got another hour of Old Time Radio crime for you this week, beginning with Richard diamond, private Detective. Hear the misplaced laundry case from September 6, 1950. After that, it's Let George do it and Drop Dead is story from July 23, 1951.

[Announcer]

Listen. While the makers of Rexall drug products and 10,000 independent Rexall family druggists bring you Dick Powell as Richard diamond, private detective.

[Richard Diamond]

Good evening. This is your Rexall family druggist speaking to you. For the 10,000 independent druggists who have made the word Rexall part of our own store names and who recommend and sell the 2,000 or more drug products made by the Rexall Drug Company, like Rexall aspirin, for example. There's no faster acting aspirin made than Rexall aspirin. When swallowed with water. Rexall aspirin is ready to go to work for you even before it reaches your stomach. Quality like that is what we family druggists are talking about when we tell you you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall.

[Announcer]

Good health to all from Rexall. Now your Rexall family druggist brings you a transcribed half hour with Richard diamond, private detective starring Dick Powell.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, yeah.

[Helen]

Well, what's the matter with you?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, hello, Helen.

[Sergeant Otis]

Nothing has gone right all day.

[Helen]

I called your office, but you left an hour ago. What took you so long getting home?

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, I had to stop by the laundry didn't have any clean shirts.

[Helen]

Are you forgetting we're supposed to be at my mother's at seven?

[Sergeant Otis]

No, honey, I'm not forgetting. What time is it now?

[Helen]

A little after six.

[Richard Diamond]

No, that's.

[Helen]

What in the world's wrong?

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, first of all, I haven't seen anything that looks like a client for two weeks.

[Helen]

That's unusual.

[Sergeant Otis]

I only got two hours sleep last night.

[Helen]

You're complaining.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, no, no, no, honey.

[Helen]

Then what is it?

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, that stupid laundry gave me the wrong bundle. I can't go over to your mother's with my bare chest hanging out.

[Helen]

Well, can't you go back and get the right bundle?

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, it closes at 6.

[Helen]

Oh, be practical. It was the laundry's fault. So use one of the shirts out of the wrong bundle. They'll have it clean now.

[Sergeant Otis]

What if it doesn't fit?

[Helen]

Make it now. I won't have you being late again.

[Richard Diamond]

No. All right, all right.

[Sergeant Otis]

I'll see you at 7.

[Helen]

I still love you.

[Sergeant Otis]

Then tell your mother not to suggest Monopoly again. I have to get some sleep tonight.

[Richard Diamond]

The shirt wasn't bad.

[Sergeant Otis]

A little short in the arms, but with my charm bracelet no one would notice. I shaved, cussed a little, showered, cussed some more, really let loose with some choice ones while I got dressed and kept it up all the way over to Helen's. She walked out in the green number that plunged so far. Could have been arrested for attempted suicide.

[Richard Diamond]

Sure cure for cousin.

[Helen]

Like it.

[Sergeant Otis]

The guy who went off the Golden

[Richard Diamond]

Gate didn't have half drop.

[Helen]

Oh, stop perspiring and come on.

[Sergeant Otis]

Helen's mother lived in a 40 room

[Richard Diamond]

vault on Long Island. We had a wonderful dinner.

[Sergeant Otis]

Soup, salad, pheasant on the glass. The only thing missing was cracked crab. Until Helen's mother suggested Monopoly. Then I nearly shelled her and ducked her in the mustard. About one o' clock my eyes felt like two three minute eggs lost in a sand pile. So I gave up and went to sleep right in the middle of a tricky trade for my railroad. Helen apologized, looked at me hatefully when I suggested a piggyback ride to the car.

[Richard Diamond]

And by two o' clock she dropped me in front of my flat on 53rd.

[Helen]

You were horrible.

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, well, how did I know your mother had the electric company too?

[Richard Diamond]

No.

[Helen]

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

[Richard Diamond]

All right. Kiss.

[Helen]

You can't even keep your eyes open.

[Sergeant Otis]

This is gonna stop me. I do my best work with my eyes closed.

[Richard Diamond]

All right, honey. Are you growing a beard?

[Helen]

That's my mink coat.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, Night, good.

[Helen]

Freedom.

[Richard Diamond]

Evening, friend. My name's Diamond.

[Sergeant Otis]

Yeah, what do you want?

[Richard Diamond]

I got some laundry that belongs to you.

[Sergeant Otis]

That's nice. Nothing like getting your laundry at two o' clock in the morning.

[Richard Diamond]

You got mine.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, stop around about noon tomorrow and we'll swap.

[Lieutenant Walt]

I'd like it now, friend.

[Richard Diamond]

I gotta leave town.

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, look, I'm a little tired, friend.

[Richard Diamond]

I want the laundry.

[Sergeant Otis]

Yeah, well, you're dealing with a bad customer. I just traded Pennsylvania Avenue for one lousy railroad.

[Richard Diamond]

What?

[Sergeant Otis]

Come back tomorrow, friend, and I'll give you your laundry and a detailed explanation.

[Lieutenant Walt]

I want the laundry.

[Richard Diamond]

Now look.

[Narrator]

You look.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, if anything could have opened my little old sleepy blue eyes at that lovely gun.

[Richard Diamond]

You look divine together. Now let's go up and get the laundry.

[Sergeant Otis]

What's the matter? You got the only long underwear with sequins.

[Narrator]

Move.

[Sergeant Otis]

And I moved up to my little flat with the laundry man sticking close enough so I wouldn't forget the big gun on his hot little head hand.

[Richard Diamond]

We went in and traded bundles. You opened it huh?

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, what did you want me to do? Put it on the table and offer up prayers?

[Richard Diamond]

You're a little too wise for your own good. But I got what I wanted. No hard feelings.

[Sergeant Otis]

Yeah, well, I hope your socks fall down.

[Richard Diamond]

You just stay put until I'm out of the building. Thanks, friend.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, any other time I might have done something ridiculous like chasing the guy or calling walled up and complaining about the attack inadequacy of ye old police department. But this wasn't any other time. It was after 2 in the morning.

[Richard Diamond]

I was tired.

[Sergeant Otis]

Sure, it was unusual to trade laundry at that hour, but I was in no condition to try and figure it out. So I brushed my teeth, left my

[Richard Diamond]

clothes in a neat pile in the corner and stumbled into bed. Oh, no. No. I'll never get any sleep.

[Lieutenant Walt]

I'm coming.

[Captain Charlie]

I'm coming.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Yeah?

[Richard Diamond]

Mr. Diamond?

[Sergeant Otis]

Yeah, who is it?

[Richard Diamond]

This is Mr. Green. Mr. Diamond.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, thanks for calling, Mr. Green.

[Richard Diamond]

Good night.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Wait.

[Richard Diamond]

Wait.

[Narrator]

Please wait.

[Richard Diamond]

Mr. Diamond, this is Mr. Green, the man who owns the Bluebell Laundry.

[Sergeant Otis]

How's business?

[Richard Diamond]

Can you come over to my apartment right away? Why? Someone's going to try and kill me.

[Sergeant Otis]

What time is it?

[Richard Diamond]

Three o'. Clock.

[Sergeant Otis]

Look, can't you hide in a closet or something until noon?

[Lieutenant Walt]

I tell you, someone's going to kill me.

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, get in the closet and close the door. If anyone opens it, take out of the nearest coat and head for the closest bright light.

[Richard Diamond]

This is serious, Mr. Diamond. I haven't got much time.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, if you don't think you can look like a moth, maybe I'd better drop around.

[Richard Diamond]

What's your dress? Savoy Arms, apartment C. And hurry. I'm desperate.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, if you're just half as desperate as I am sleepy, you're really in trouble. I'll be right over. I stumbled back into my clothes and downstairs and a quick walk down to park where I could grab a cab. Then 10 minutes later, I was knocking

[Richard Diamond]

at the door of apartment C. No answer.

[Sergeant Otis]

I was about to try the door when it opened. Mr. Green.

[Richard Diamond]

You're too late, Mr. Green. He opened the door all right, but

[Sergeant Otis]

that was as far as he got. He just slid down and stretched out on his stomach, head turned sideways, thick glasses pushed up at an angle. His weak eyes trying hard to see everything there was to see before they closed for good. I kneel down beside him.

[Richard Diamond]

Jones.

[Helen]

Wrong laundry number.

[Richard Diamond]

Jones. Green. Green.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, everybody dies. He'd been shot just under the heart from the back. A warm breeze made me turn and look out the open window on the far side. Of the room leading out to a fire escape. I went over and looked out.

[Richard Diamond]

Nothing. But it was a good bet that the killer had shot Green from there.

[Sergeant Otis]

I put in a call to Walton in 10 minutes. He was standing over Green.

[Lieutenant Walt]

And this is the guy who owns the laundry and gave you the wrong bundle?

[Sergeant Otis]

That's right.

[Lieutenant Walt]

How do you always get mixed up in things like this?

[Richard Diamond]

It's a talent.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Did he say who we thought was after him?

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, he just told me that he was in fear of his life.

[Lieutenant Walt]

What about the guy who shoved the gun in your face and took away the bundle of laundry?

[Sergeant Otis]

No, about my size. Had a hat on. Light gray suit, brown eyes, heavy eyebrows, High cheekbones, very sharp features.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Talent. Go down and run through the gallery, see if we can get an identification.

[Sergeant Otis]

Okay, but first, let's take a run

[Richard Diamond]

down to the Blue Bell Laundry.

[Sergeant Otis]

Might be a good idea to find out what this is all about.

[Richard Diamond]

Here it is, lieutenant. Blue Bell Laundry.

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, he read the sign. If a guy with fangs and a long black cape answers, drive a stake

[Richard Diamond]

through his heart or shoot him with a silver bullet.

[Lieutenant Walt]

You keep your suggestions to yourself, sergeant, or I'll open this door with your head.

[Sergeant Otis]

These keys are a better shape.

[Lieutenant Walt]

I tell you, we can't use them if no one answers. Then we got to get a search warrant.

[Richard Diamond]

Why?

[Lieutenant Walt]

Because that's the law.

[Richard Diamond]

What is that?

[Lieutenant Walt]

We gotta get a warrant to search the laundry.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, what do you want to search the laundry for?

[Lieutenant Walt]

What do I want to search it for? Because a man's just been killed.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, so? So what? What's that got to do with the laundry?

[Lieutenant Walt]

The guy who was killed was the guy who owned the laundry. You told me yourself it had something to do with getting the bundles mixed up. And that guy who stuck you up tonight.

[Sergeant Otis]

Okay, but you can't just go busting into a laundry just because of a stupid little old hunch.

[Lieutenant Walt]

What do you mean, stupid?

[Sergeant Otis]

You could be wrong, you know. Just because you think you might solve this case, that's no reason for you to go busting into a laundry.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Well, why not? The answer to this whole thing might just be in that laundry.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, you've certainly been right in the past. Oh, not always.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, most of the time, Wal, just lucky.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, if you think it's best, here are the keys.

[Lieutenant Walt]

You understand?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Yeah. You stay out here, sergeant.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, we're in.

[Sergeant Otis]

I hope the commissioner doesn't hear about it.

[Helen]

Come on.

[Richard Diamond]

Once. Breaking and entering.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Breaking? Why, you.

[Richard Diamond]

You fiend.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Yes,

[Sergeant Otis]

Walt hopped around for a while until he ran out of steam. And then we went to work, took the laundry apart. The way it stacked up, I had

[Richard Diamond]

gotten the wrong bundle of laundry.

[Sergeant Otis]

The guy who'd stuck me up until

[Richard Diamond]

in the morning had gotten mine.

[Sergeant Otis]

So the bundle that I'd gotten by mistake figured to be pretty important. There must have been something else in there besides clean shirts.

[Lieutenant Walt]

So Green, the owner made a mistake.

[Sergeant Otis]

But that's kind of hard to do, Walt. You got to have a ticket to get your laundry.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Ticket with a number on it?

[Richard Diamond]

Sure.

[Sergeant Otis]

It should correspond to the numbers on those bends. Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. Before Green died, he said something about

[Richard Diamond]

a wrong number and a name. What name? Jones.

[Sergeant Otis]

Jones. Now look, when I brought my laundry and Green wrote my name and number

[Richard Diamond]

down in a book.

[Sergeant Otis]

Lets see if we can find that book.

[Richard Diamond]

Walt took one side of the shop and I took the other. Inside of 10 minutes we had the book.

[Sergeant Otis]

We turned to the page with deliveries

[Richard Diamond]

dated to the day before and found my name.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Here it is. Richard Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Uh huh.

[Sergeant Otis]

Laundry number 99. That's right. That was the number on the ticket I gave him. Then Green didn't make a mistake.

[Lieutenant Walt]

But he'd have to to give you the wrong bundle. He couldn't get mixed up with a bins mark.

[Richard Diamond]

What?

[Sergeant Otis]

Turn that book around.

[Richard Diamond]

Turn around upside down.

[Sergeant Otis]

Now if that number was on a ticket and I handed to you upside down.

[Lieutenant Walt]

66.

[Sergeant Otis]

Yeah. Who's listed under 66?

[Richard Diamond]

It's not on this page here.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, I'll pick John Jones.

[Richard Diamond]

No address. John Jones.

[Sergeant Otis]

Green had said Jones before he died. Jones had the laundry ticket marked 66. Green had evidently looked at my ticket upside down and given me Jones's bundle.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Green couldn't have known anything important was in that bundle or he wouldn't have made the mistake.

[Sergeant Otis]

And then why was he killed?

[Lieutenant Walt]

Doesn't figure.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, if he was just a go between, it does. He didn't put the important something in the bundle or he would have just held the bundle until Jones arrived and given it to him.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Then the bundle came wrapped. With the something in it.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Sergeant Otis]

Now look.

[Richard Diamond]

Walled.

[Sergeant Otis]

You know how these small places work. They, they send their stuff out to

[Richard Diamond]

a large laundry and cleaning plant.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Yeah, but which one?

[Sergeant Otis]

Hey, I got a shirt on from that wrong bundle. I bet he's got a laundry mark.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Should be on the collar. Let's see. Well, let's not strangle me, huh?

[Richard Diamond]

Button a few buttons, Scott. Go ahead. Grabby.

[Lieutenant Walt]

There's some writing on the collar.

[Richard Diamond]

Read it out. Now write it down. 8, 6, A, 4, 5 L. What kind of a laundry number is that.

[Sergeant Otis]

Find out and you might have the guy who slipped something in that bundle

[Richard Diamond]

and was responsible for Green's death.

[Sergeant Otis]

We went through the rest of the place but found no evidence to show

[Richard Diamond]

us what big plant Green sent his laundry too.

[Sergeant Otis]

I bowed out as gracefully as possible and went home to get some sleep. It was 4am when I stumbled into

[Richard Diamond]

my flat with just one thought in mind. Sleep. And I got it in a hurry.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Come on now. Snap out of it.

[Richard Diamond]

No.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Come on. Come on. Sit up.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, leave me alone.

[Sergeant Otis]

Somebody sapped you. I don't care if you split my head in sections.

[Richard Diamond]

I went to sleep, didn't I?

[Lieutenant Walt]

What happened to your shirt?

[Richard Diamond]

Shirt all right.

[Narrator]

Oh.

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, so that's it.

[Lieutenant Walt]

What's it?

[Richard Diamond]

The shirt.

[Sergeant Otis]

That's what the guy was really after.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Suppose it was Jones?

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, sure.

[Richard Diamond]

It was Walt.

[Sergeant Otis]

When he.

[Richard Diamond]

When he traded bundles with me, he

[Sergeant Otis]

didn't have any way of knowing that I'd taken a shirt out of it. That shirt was what made that bundle important.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Those numbers on the collar. I checked. They weren't a laundry mark.

[Sergeant Otis]

You still got them?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Sergeant Otis]

They sure mean something. Let's see if we can figure out just what. I gave Walt a pencil and paper, and we put our two brilliant minds to work trying to figure out the

[Richard Diamond]

numbers that had been written on the collar of the shirt.

[Sergeant Otis]

Just numbers with two letters. A and L. Easy problem for two brilliant students of criminology.

[Johnson]

I got it.

[Richard Diamond]

You have?

[Lieutenant Walt]

Let's take the numbers down to the decoding department.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, that's what I like.

[Sergeant Otis]

Perseverance, a sharp mind. And nothing's too tough for us.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, come on. Come on, Art.

[Sergeant Otis]

You've been working on those numbers for nearly five minutes.

[Narrator]

Well, I've been sick. Could this be a code for some kind of a pickup?

[Lieutenant Walt]

Ah, yes, it could be.

[Narrator]

Well, let's use times and dates. First number is eight.

[Sergeant Otis]

Today is the eighth day.

[Narrator]

The letter A could stand for AM.

[Richard Diamond]

6A.

[Narrator]

6am at 88. 6am and 46. L could be the where?

[Sergeant Otis]

46th. In any street beginning with L. Out of the way.

[Narrator]

Corner 46th in Lexington. And that's not out of the way.

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, I'm sure glad you broke that code, Walt.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Experience and a little common sense. Come on. You and me are going over to 46th and Lexington.

[Sergeant Otis]

You and I, Walt.

[Narrator]

I could stand for idiot.

[Sergeant Otis]

That's another code.

[Richard Diamond]

Arch.

[Sergeant Otis]

Fourth letter in Levinson.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Oh, come on. We haven't got all morning.

[Announcer]

You're listening to Richard diamond, private detective. Brought to you by the makers of Rexall drug products and your Rexall family druggist. And here he is.

[Richard Diamond]

Every woman will tell you that the ideal home antiseptic is one that will serve as a mouthwash, gargle and breath deodorant. All with equal effectiveness.

[Helen]

And that's exactly what Rexall Mi31 does.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, now, how did you know that?

[Helen]

Because I read all about it in your big ad in this week's issue of Life.

[Richard Diamond]

Say, isn't that a good ad? A whole page crammed full of top quality Rexall products. Some of them at special bargain prices. Good. All this month. And every one of them just as reliable as Rexall Mi31, America's popular all round mouthwash. What's more, Rexall gives you a full pint of Mi 31 at the same price as other leading brands of smaller quantity.

[Helen]

That's why I've learned to watch for your ads. I learn all about these wonderful money saving values. And they always remind me of so many things I need too.

[Richard Diamond]

Then maybe I'd better tell our listeners that this same full page ad is appearing in current issues of Colliers. Look. Saturday Evening Post and Country. Gentlemen. Check it carefully and remember, you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall.

[Announcer]

And now back to tonight's adventure with Richard Diamond, Private Detective starring Dick Powell.

[Sergeant Otis]

This is a good spot.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Going on the corner of 46 in the Lexington yet.

[Sergeant Otis]

What time is it?

[Lieutenant Walt]

Five minutes to six.

[Sergeant Otis]

Yeah. I hope we figure this out.

[Richard Diamond]

Right.

[Helen]

Car 86. Car 86.

[Sergeant Otis]

No, that's us.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Car 86. Levinson. Go ahead.

[Helen]

Sergeant Otis wants to speak with you. Lieutenant.

[Richard Diamond]

Go ahead, Lieutenant.

[Lieutenant Walt]

I checked and found out where the

[Richard Diamond]

Bluebell Laundry sends its cleaning. Two companies, Monarch and the Superior Cleaning and Dying Works. Mr. Ralph Collins owns Monarch and Mr. Arthur Levin owns Superior.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Find out the addresses of the plants and the home addresses of the owners. And then put a stake out at the homes of the owners. Don't pick them up, but stop them if they're trying to leave.

[Narrator]

Wilco.

[Richard Diamond]

Roger and out.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Oh, I'm surprised he didn't get tired of Roger and use McGillicuddy just to be different.

[Richard Diamond]

Hey, Walt.

[Sergeant Otis]

There's our boy, huh?

[Richard Diamond]

Jones.

[Sergeant Otis]

Yeah, across the street on the corner. Same guy who got the bundle from me. Let's go.

[Richard Diamond]

No one else yet.

[Sergeant Otis]

He's waiting for something. It's about two minutes to six.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Car pulling up.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Jones is going over to us.

[Sergeant Otis]

Get going.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Guy in the car gave Jones a package. They spotted us.

[Sergeant Otis]

You get the car, I'll take Jones.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Stop. Stop.

[Sadie]

That car.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Stop.

[Helen]

Jones.

[Announcer]

Jones.

[Narrator]

Okay.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Car got away, but I put some bullet holes in it.

[Sergeant Otis]

Drop the gun. Jones.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, okay. I'm hurt bad. Don't.

[Mr. Yule]

Don't shoot again.

[Richard Diamond]

Give me an ambulance.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, if he's got another bundle with

[Richard Diamond]

him, I'll get back to the car and get the wine. I think he got me to stump.

[Sergeant Otis]

You want to talk?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Sergeant Otis]

What's in the bundle you got from the car?

[Richard Diamond]

Junk. A hundred thousand in Morphe. How did Green figure just to go between? He worked for the big boy. Took our money, sent it in with an order for the stuff.

[Sergeant Otis]

Instructions in the collar of one of the shirts.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. You kill Green?

[Helen]

Yeah.

[Sergeant Otis]

Who's the big boy?

[Richard Diamond]

Jones. Jones.

[Lieutenant Walt]

The wagon's on its way.

[Richard Diamond]

He's dead. What was he picking up?

[Sergeant Otis]

Narcotics. Well, Walt, we know the cord was

[Richard Diamond]

put in the laundry bundles at one of the cleaning works.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Better bother them in check.

[Sergeant Otis]

Yeah, and you can never tell what else might turn up. We waited until the wagon pulled up and carted Jones off. Then we headed across town toward the first of two stops. The superior cleaning and dyeing works.

[Announcer]

7:30.

[Sergeant Otis]

When we pulled up in front and let ourselves in with one of my pass keys.

[Lieutenant Walt]

This is the only one we can check quietly.

[Richard Diamond]

They open at 8, don't they? Yeah.

[Sergeant Otis]

Got a half an hour to make

[Richard Diamond]

a noose for a pretty big operator.

[Sergeant Otis]

So we went to work on the superior laundry.

[Richard Diamond]

Guys like Jones were caught every day.

[Sergeant Otis]

But the big boys, the ones who dished out the stuff from the top. The big syndicate operators were tough to catch. And here was a chance to catch one. We got into the office and found the order books.

[Richard Diamond]

Jones appeared in nearly every one. This was the place where Green sent Jones's laundry.

[Lieutenant Walt]

But it still doesn't prove enough. We've got to prove that the code was slipped in the bundle from this plant. Then we gotta find the guy who does it.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, come on, we gotta work fast. This joint opens up in a half an hour.

[Richard Diamond]

Hey, Walt. Hold it.

[Sergeant Otis]

Car pull up outside?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, I can see it out of the window. Look.

[Lieutenant Walt]

It's the same car that passed the junk to Jones. The one I put the bullets in.

[Sergeant Otis]

He's coming in.

[Narrator]

He's.

[Richard Diamond]

He's coming up here.

[Sergeant Otis]

Get in the other room.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Leave the door open. Hello, Mr. Leon? Yeah, John. There was some trouble. Cops were waking. Yeah, I'm down at the place. I got away clean. Jones had the bundle.

[Narrator]

I'm.

[Richard Diamond]

I'm sorry. Okay. Yeah, I'll blow. Let's take him.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Hey, hold it. He's making a break. Stop.

[Mr. Yule]

He's got a gun.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Blow him up.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, he's had it. Yeah. Know him?

[Lieutenant Walt]

Charlie Asher. Narcotics record?

[Sergeant Otis]

This shirt turned into a mess.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Let's go see Mr. Arthur Levin of Superior Cleaning and find out what kind of cleaning works he's been running.

[Richard Diamond]

Hi, Lieutenant. Got the whole place surrounded. Eleven hasn't tried to leave. He's been out of the house once. Went to the garage.

[Sergeant Otis]

Have anything with him?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, now, when he came out, went in with a big box.

[Lieutenant Walt]

All right, let's take him.

[Sergeant Otis]

You better get out of sight, Otis. You'll see that uniform and get jumpy.

[Lieutenant Walt]

You're down there in the end of

[Richard Diamond]

the porch, all right.

[Narrator]

Yes, please.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Mr. Levin, we'd like to talk to you.

[Narrator]

Oh, well, come in.

[Richard Diamond]

Thank you.

[Narrator]

I was just going to my office.

[Sergeant Otis]

Where is your office, Mr. Levin?

[Narrator]

I own the Superior Cleaning and Dye Works.

[Sergeant Otis]

You do laundry for a Mr. Green's Bluebell laundry?

[Narrator]

I do work for a lot of laundries. I believe that Mr. Green happens to be one of them.

[Sergeant Otis]

No man named Jones?

[Narrator]

I know more than one Jones.

[Lieutenant Walt]

How about a man named Charlie Usher?

[Richard Diamond]

Charlie?

[Narrator]

No, no, I don't know him.

[Sergeant Otis]

He called you 20 minutes ago.

[Narrator]

No, he didn't call me. You're very much mistaken. Now, would you mind telling me what this is all about?

[Lieutenant Walt]

How many workers do you have at Sipharium, Mr. Levin?

[Narrator]

About 40.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Any of them have police records?

[Narrator]

No, not to my knowledge.

[Sergeant Otis]

And you don't know Charlie Usher?

[Narrator]

No, no, I told you, I do not know him.

[Sergeant Otis]

Well, he had a key to the

[Richard Diamond]

front door of your laundry.

[Sergeant Otis]

Used your office phone.

[Narrator]

I can't help that.

[Lieutenant Walt]

He called a Mr. Levin.

[Narrator]

But I have never talked with a man named Charlie Usher. I swear.

[Sergeant Otis]

What was in that box you brought

[Richard Diamond]

in from the garage box?

[Narrator]

Books. Books. I brought some books in.

[Richard Diamond]

Where are the books, Mr. Levin?

[Narrator]

I already. I put them in the shelves in the library.

[Richard Diamond]

What did you do with the box?

[Narrator]

I. I burned it. I. I don't like dirty boxes lying around the house.

[Lieutenant Walt]

You went outside and burned it?

[Narrator]

Yes. Yes, in the incinerator.

[Lieutenant Walt]

My men said you only came out

[Sergeant Otis]

of the house once, Mr. Levin.

[Narrator]

Then your men are mistaken. I went out twice. Once to get the box, the books, and the second time to burn the box. Look, what right have you got to hide outside my house and watch it like a bunch of burglars? I know my rights. I want to call my lawyer.

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, sure, sure, Mr. Levin.

[Richard Diamond]

You go right ahead and call your lawyer.

[Sergeant Otis]

In the meantime, we'll see if anything

[Richard Diamond]

was burned in the incinerator, it would

[Narrator]

be burned out by now. That was 20 minutes ago.

[Sergeant Otis]

About the time Charlie Usher called.

[Narrator]

He did not call me. I don't even know him.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, even if you did burn the

[Lieutenant Walt]

box 20 minutes ago, Mr. Levin, there'd

[Richard Diamond]

still be some smoking ashes.

[Sergeant Otis]

And if it wasn't burned in the incinerator, Mr. Levin, we'll take this house apart piece by piece until we find it.

[Lieutenant Walt]

I'll go check it out.

[Narrator]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Sergeant Otis]

Yes, Mr. Levin?

[Helen]

Look, I'm.

[Narrator]

I'm not sure I. I burned the box.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Then you didn't go outside the second.

[Narrator]

I. I don't know. I. I don'. All mixed up. Look, you gotta give me time to think.

[Sergeant Otis]

What if it didn't go out the second time? The box is still in the house.

[Narrator]

Look, please, Please do this. Give me time.

[Richard Diamond]

Watching the box, Mr. Levin.

[Narrator]

Books. I told you, books.

[Richard Diamond]

Where is it?

[Narrator]

I don't know. Leave me alone. Now, now, will you leave me alone? I know my rights.

[Sergeant Otis]

Start taking the house part.

[Richard Diamond]

No, no, no, please. Where's the box?

[Lieutenant Walt]

The box, Mr. Levin. The box.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, where's the box?

[Narrator]

Under the sink.

[Richard Diamond]

Where?

[Sergeant Otis]

Under the sink.

[Narrator]

There's a sliding paddle under the kitchen sink.

[Sergeant Otis]

Narcotics, Mr. Len?

[Narrator]

Yes.

[Richard Diamond]

Yes.

[Lieutenant Walt]

You marked the shirt colors and sent Charlie Usher to deliver the stuff.

[Narrator]

That's right.

[Richard Diamond]

I had ten laundries working for me.

[Narrator]

Green was one of them.

[Helen]

One.

[Sergeant Otis]

Oh, relax, Mr. Levin. You can be happy about one thing. Jones and Usher didn't cooperate like you did.

[Richard Diamond]

And they're both dead.

[Announcer]

Again. Here's your Rexall family druggist.

[Richard Diamond]

If you're often troubled with acid stomach, or if you're looking for a gentle, non irritating way to achieve regularity, try Rexall Milk of Magnesia pure, mild, creamy, smooth and with no unpleasant earthy taste. Rexall Milk of Magnesia is justly popular by the economy size quart bottle. It costs only $0.69 at Rexall Drugstores everywhere. And remember, you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall.

[Announcer]

Good health to all from Rexall. Richard Diamond, Private Detective stars Dick Powell in the title role and is written by Blake Edwards with music composed and conducted by Frank Wirth. Featured in tonight's cast were Ted Decorated Wilms, Herbert Clayton Post, Sydney Miller, Virginia Gregg and Stacy Harris. Richard Diamond, Private Detective was transcribed in Hollywood by Jaime Del Valle. This is Bill Foreman inviting you to be with us next Wednesday at this time when we will again bring you Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, Private Detective.

[Richard Diamond]

Hiya, beautiful.

[Helen]

Get lost Bristlepuss, you need a shave.

[Richard Diamond]

But I have shaved.

[Announcer]

What else do you want me to do? Silly boy. She wants you to go stag. Go stag?

[Richard Diamond]

But why?

[Announcer]

Because Stag is Rexall's exclusive line of men's good grooming aids. Like Stag Brushless shave cream. No fuss, no massage. Just smooth it on and presto. You get a clean, close shave. Your face stays smooth and whiskerless all day long.

[Narrator]

I'll do it. I'll do it.

[Announcer]

I'll go stag. That's it. Join the Stag line now at Rexall drugstores everywhere.

[Helen]

Yes, to make girls care. Go stag.

[Richard Diamond]

Sam. Foreign.

[Announcer]

Chimes mean good times on NBC. There's entertainment in store for you every Wednesday night on NBC. In addition to the action packed adventures of Richard Diamond. Beginning next Wednesday, listen to Mr. And Mrs. Ronald Coleman returning over most of these stations with their delightful series the Halls of Ivy.

[Richard Diamond]

In four weeks.

[Announcer]

Laugh with Groucho Marks and you bet your life on NBC.

[George Valentine]

Personal notice, dangers, my stock and trade. If the job's too tough for you to handle, you got a job for me. George Valentine. Write full details.

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

A few years ago, a new slogan or slang expression was thrust on the vocabulary of the American public. You remember came in very handy when the wife wanted you to clean out the attic or your brother in law put the bite on you for a 10 spot. It was drop dead. Of course, it never did you any good, but it was better than 23 could do or go jump in a lake. If you listen carefully, you may get some tips on how to use the expression with more effective results. It all started with a phone call at George Valentine's office by a little fellow who was just full of questions. Oh, let's see if George has any of the answers.

[Mr. Yule]

Don't you want a story?

[George Valentine]

Hold it, will you? Who is this?

[Mr. Yule]

Jerry, you license it. I'm a writer and I have a story.

[George Valentine]

Yeah, well, this is George Valentine and I'm not a publisher.

[Mr. Yule]

Please listen to me. You've got to meet me right away. Captain Charlie's Neptune palace, the old waterfront district.

[George Valentine]

Captain's who's what?

[Mr. Yule]

I live here. It's an old hotel. I'm collecting material. But this particular story, I'm afraid I don't know how it ends. And that's why I need you.

[George Valentine]

Sounds to me like it goes around in a circle.

[Mr. Yule]

I want to be there when it ends. Don't you understand? That's why I'm calling you instead of the police.

[George Valentine]

Police? What kind of a Story, is it?

[Mr. Yule]

Well, it concerns a mysterious stranger and a seaman who chews tobacco. And mostly, of course, the parrot.

[George Valentine]

The what?

[Sadie]

The parrot.

[Mr. Yule]

A green and orange parrot. Ordinarily I don't like parrots myself. Such mangy, squawking creatures. But Captain Charlie, of course, will.

[George Valentine]

A green and orange parrot. Now look, friend, if you meet me

[Mr. Yule]

in 15 minutes at the foot of Tide street, please. You don't want anyone else to get their hands on this story, do you?

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

Well, I don't know, Mr. Yule. It all depends whether or not this story has a happy ending. And from where I sit, I'll bet you it hasn't. However, to keep things even is another kind of story that I know has a happy ending. Now let's see. George and Brooksie were supposed to meet a Mr. Yule at the foot of Tyde Street. Say, that's a pretty rough part of town. You better watch it, George. You might get in over your head.

[Brooksie]

Is it always so foggy down here?

[Mr. Yule]

Only in the summer.

[George Valentine]

Captain Charlie's Neptune Palace. Quite an ornate old place, isn't it?

[Mr. Yule]

Oh, the rooms are empty now, most of them. And half of it is locked off, of course. It tips like a one legged man. There, where the pilings underneath are sinking. The Commercial docks went away and left this district, you see, when they built the new piers for the Dino.

[Brooksie]

Beer and sandwiches. Step into the kitchen and make your own rooms. 50 cents. Quite a come down from the kind hotel it must have been once.

[Mr. Yule]

Oh, but there's no transient trade, you understand, Ms. Brooks. Just the ones Captain Charlie asked to stay permanently.

[George Valentine]

Like writers who specialize in foggy stories.

[Mr. Yule]

Now just be patient, Mr. Valentine. I want you to understand this setting, that's all, its mood, its. Its character. It's strange. Oh, hello.

[Captain Charlie]

Want some coffee for your own?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, no.

[George Valentine]

Look at me, friend. Captain Charlie, I suppose.

[Mr. Yule]

No, no, this is Morrison.

[Richard Diamond]

Sure I'm not crazy.

[George Valentine]

I. I just look that way.

[Mr. Yule]

Business cards, menus and wedding announcements. That's his line.

[Brooksie]

What?

[Richard Diamond]

Why?

[Mr. Yule]

He used to do the menus on the Lusitania, no less.

[Captain Charlie]

Been sunk ever since.

[Mr. Yule]

He prints Charlie's stationery for him. Not that Charlie ever uses anything. But that's how he took him in.

[Sadie]

Where's the dirt coming from? Open the door.

[Captain Charlie]

That's all right, Sadie. Go back to your knitting.

[Mr. Yule]

There, that's Sadie. She used to own the place back in the gay days when it was Sadie's Neptune trip.

[Captain Charlie]

Sure, sure. But Captain Charlie never had the heart to throw her out either. We're your friends, You.

[George Valentine]

Oh, never mind us.

[Sadie]

Who's down there.

[George Valentine]

All we care about is a story.

[Richard Diamond]

Not that we'll ever get it.

[Brooksie]

Yeah.

[Mr. Yule]

Well, now, Morton here, he was in it.

[Captain Charlie]

Oh, no, I'm not. Charlie, give me a check with the 25 bucks.

[Richard Diamond]

Don't mix me up in your fiction, Paris.

[Sadie]

I said, who's down there? You.

[George Valentine]

Look, buster, for the last time, will you tell us what this is all about?

[Sadie]

Come on.

[Richard Diamond]

Come on through here, Old Bar. I don't hear you. All right.

[Sadie]

Well, well, well.

[Captain Charlie]

And who might your friends be?

[George Valentine]

Mr. Yule.

[Captain Charlie]

No matter, no matter. The welcome's always out. But you know what? I've been here sitting and thinking. Me and Limey here.

[Richard Diamond]

Right, Skipper. And me been thinking.

[Captain Charlie]

Be quiet.

[Mr. Yule]

Right, Skipper.

[Captain Charlie]

The next thing this hotel needs is a rubber plant. I remember in Bombay once, I. I seen the most lovely rubber plant.

[Sadie]

Wait a minute.

[Mr. Yule]

I wanted to tell these people about last night.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, that.

[Captain Charlie]

Well, now, I don't blame you. Last night, young lady, I bought the most lovely green parrot that any man ever saw. Do you know, this morning, he.

[George Valentine]

Captain, would you mind sticking with last night? What is it? What happened last night?

[Brooksie]

He told you, guv', nor. He bought a parrot.

[Mr. Yule]

No, no, no, no, no. But a story should begin at the beginning. And, Mr. Valentine, the very first thing was $25. That's what woke me up.

[Sadie]

What?

[Mr. Yule]

Right, I woke you all up to borrow it, see?

[Richard Diamond]

Only he didn't have it, and neither did Sadie.

[Brooksie]

So I had to break the lock

[Richard Diamond]

on Martin's room and dig it out of his stuff. And that, on account of the skipper

[Mr. Yule]

was a little short in the cash register.

[Captain Charlie]

Made Morton sore too. Made all of you sore.

[Mr. Yule]

Oh, not me, Skipper.

[Captain Charlie]

Nobody appreciates a good parrot, young lady, but I do. And I bought him. Had to scrape up a whole hundred dollars. That's the story. But I made it and I bought him. Limey, run fetch the bird.

[Mr. Yule]

Show the people. All right, skipper, whatever you say.

[Captain Charlie]

I'll give you a hand in case he coaxed back

[Richard Diamond]

Yule.

[George Valentine]

Is that all there is to it? Just that the captain bought a bird.

[Mr. Yule]

Mr. Valentine, the stranger. Now, let me tell you about him. The man. He bought the bird.

[Brooksie]

The mysterious stranger.

[Mr. Yule]

Don't look at me that way.

[Sadie]

He was.

[Mr. Yule]

He was a foreigner of some sort. He was a Hindu or Sikh or something. One of those big fellas with a beard and a turban, but a sailor. And he. And Charlie gibbered away at a great rate in some heathen tongue.

[George Valentine]

Oh, now, look, friend.

[Mr. Yule]

Wanted to get rid of that Bird, the sick did act as if he was afraid of him. That's why all the fuss about the money. He was so anxious to get paid and get out. And when he left, he left a running well. Here, now, wait.

[Richard Diamond]

Here he is.

[Sadie]

Thank you, Ducky, though.

[Captain Charlie]

Careful there, Limey. Careful he don't slip off your shoulder. He's taking quite a fancy to Limey here, you know that?

[Brooksie]

That's the parrot.

[Captain Charlie]

Isn't he the most lovely bird you ever saw?

[Brooksie]

Well, I wouldn't exactly say.

[Captain Charlie]

Oh, Limey's gonna clean him up a bit, you know how it is. But here, here, let me show you. This is a piece of resistance.

[Richard Diamond]

Now, come on, baby, say it.

[Captain Charlie]

Speak out for the people, baby. Fine bird.

[George Valentine]

He talks y.

[Mr. Yule]

That's a baby.

[Captain Charlie]

That's a baby. Talk right up like you did to the heathen.

[Sadie]

Speak out, baby. Drop dead.

[Captain Charlie]

Drop dead.

[Sadie]

Drop dead.

[Brooksie]

Drop dead.

[Captain Charlie]

Isn't he the most lovely thing you ever heard?

[George Valentine]

Drop dead. That does it, Valentine.

[Mr. Yule]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wouldn't it interest you if I told you that I took a walk this morning just before I called you? And that I found the sick. That heathen sailor who was so afraid and so anxious to get rid of the bird? And that the poor man was just lying there in an alley, dead.

[Johnson]

Now, wait a minute. That man didn't drop dead.

[George Valentine]

He was rolled.

[Johnson]

Look at his pocket. See for yourself. Slugged and rolled, that's all.

[George Valentine]

Yeah, you're right, lieutenant. Only whoever hit him tapped him a little too hard. Check.

[Johnson]

It's happened more than once down here.

[Mr. Yule]

Don't you think it's interesting that and.

[Johnson]

Never mind that Eye of the Idol mystery magazine stuff either. Mr. Yule, what I want to know is why you didn't report this to the police quicker but here in the

[Mr. Yule]

alley, I knew no one would find him.

[Johnson]

Besides which, a beard and a turban you don't even know. He's the same guy you saw last night.

[Mr. Yule]

I think he is.

[Johnson]

Ah. There's a whole shipload of these birds in port. Can you tell him apart?

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

Routine.

[Johnson]

That's a routine case, and you gotta clutter it up.

[George Valentine]

Big mystery.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, boys. Where's that wagon?

[George Valentine]

Well, Mr. Yule, I wrote a story

[Mr. Yule]

about one of these fellows.

[Narrator]

Hey.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Richard Diamond]

What are you doing?

[George Valentine]

Johnson will cut your gizzard out if you touch that body. You're in enough trouble as it is.

[Mr. Yule]

Let go of me. The turban. Yeah. Hold that flashlight.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, brother.

[Mr. Yule]

There, you see? I told you it was the same man.

[George Valentine]

Whoever all the sailor Just wasn't so bright about where he'd carry his money, huh? Give me that. Yeah, it's the hundred bucks, all right.

[Richard Diamond]

No, no, no. I'll keep it.

[George Valentine]

Only, so what? This still doesn't mean the parrot had anything to do with it.

[Mr. Yule]

Hey, Mr. Valentine, look at this. Did you ever see an Oriental who chewed tobacco?

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

A plug.

[George Valentine]

Okay, so there's been somebody around here lately who choose tobacco.

[Brooksie]

But.

[George Valentine]

Oh, yeah, I remember you said on the phone something about a seaman who choose to back.

[Mr. Yule]

Yes, he's a big fellow, but an American seaman.

[George Valentine]

Where did he creep in? Now, look, buster, you'd better spill the rest of what you know fast.

[Mr. Yule]

I've told you everything. Honestly, I have. He was just a seaman, that's all. I didn't get much of a look at him. But this morning when I woke up, he was peering in my window. And when I shouted, he ran. I came out to look around. That's when I found the body. And then I ran.

[George Valentine]

Well, that's a good idea, Mr. Valentine. All right. You too, Doc. Ms. Brooks is still back in the car. You a lot of the other way. Tell Johnson I went to get it, would you? Or some other lie.

[Captain Charlie]

What?

[Sadie]

But I.

[George Valentine]

No, no. You stay there and hold hands with Johnson.

[Johnson]

Hey, Valentine.

[Lieutenant Walt]

See you later.

[George Valentine]

I'm gonna write a story.

[Brooksie]

George, remember he said that man in the turban seems so anxious to get

[George Valentine]

rid of the birds. Hey, Captain. Captain Charlie.

[Brooksie]

This is a crazy strange place, isn't it? That captain gives me the jitters.

[George Valentine]

Ah, never mind. I don't want to see him anyway. Limey's the one who'll talk for us. A weasel if I ever saw one.

[Brooksie]

But why? What can he tell you? What is it you're doing here?

[Richard Diamond]

We are through here.

[George Valentine]

Just check the information. We've already got Brooksy. I'd like to weed out some of Yule's weird notions. He's about stupid enough to think that bird is some sort of weird cigarette.

[Brooksie]

George.

[George Valentine]

Relax, angel over the head of the stairs, that's all. Come on.

[Brooksie]

Speak of the devil.

[George Valentine]

Yeah, something at the bottom of the stairs too.

[Sadie]

Limey.

[Brooksie]

It's Limey. He's dead rock.

[Richard Diamond]

Dead rock de.

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

You know, I've always found it pretty tough to squeeze juice from a lime. Well, that can't be true with everyone because here's a case where somebody squeezed the limey too hard. Couldn't have been the parrot, but he might have been the inspiration. Now, if you're in need of inspiration, why don't you give this a Listen.

[Richard Diamond]

And now,

[George Valentine]

if your name is George

[Richard Diamond]

Valentine, you don't believe in the kind

[George Valentine]

of story that has a parrot in it. When the parrot says drop dead, people drop dead. The only trouble is, they do. First a foreign sailor who sold the bird and now the next man that

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

the bird took a liking to.

[Richard Diamond]

Limey.

[George Valentine]

Yes. Limey is just about as dead as the sailor was.

[Brooksie]

Who's going to be murdered next, George?

[George Valentine]

Oh, Brooksie, cut it out.

[Brooksie]

Why me didn't just fall down the stairs.

[George Valentine]

It's a dark stairway.

[Brooksie]

It could have happened, only you doubt it.

[George Valentine]

Yeah, I guess he was dead before he fell. But I guess isn't good enough, is it?

[Brooksie]

It's also unbelievable, all these crazy characters.

[George Valentine]

There's another explanation of some kind. You want to bet? It's nice and simple.

[Brooksie]

No.

[George Valentine]

Okay, maybe not. But for instance, why is the parrot important? Why was that mangy captain so anxious to buy him in the first place?

[Brooksie]

Why is Mr. Ewell so interested?

[George Valentine]

I get the idea. So run out and get the police, will you?

[Brooksie]

What are you gonna do?

[George Valentine]

I wanna see who's around. Angel, mostly. Upstairs.

[Brooksie]

Well, the bird is, for one. I know.

[George Valentine]

He hopped off down the hall. See you later.

[Brooksie]

All right, George.

[George Valentine]

We sure fell all right, buster. Well, so who pushed you More slug?

[Host]

Your father.

[Sadie]

Get him off my hat.

[Announcer]

What the.

[George Valentine]

It's Sadie. Sadie.

[Sadie]

Get him off and off. Get out that window. One, two.

[George Valentine]

All right, all right. Just a parrot, that's all.

[Sadie]

Just of all the ugly, me.

[George Valentine]

Take it easy. Take it easy. He's out the window now, huh? Sitting there on the kitchen roof like he was real proud of himself. Only. What happened?

[Sadie]

Hopped through here, across my face. I was sound asleep. I told Captain Charlie I wouldn't stay here if he kept that bird. I never allowed parrots when it was my hotel. This was a respectable place.

[Captain Charlie]

Sure, sure.

[George Valentine]

But look, Sadie, did you hear any noise out by the stairs a while ago? Maybe about half an hour ago?

[Sadie]

No. Why should I? Everybody's been out except that awful creature. I heard them go.

[George Valentine]

Why, stupid. Only, tell me something, Sadie. How long have you lived here?

[Sadie]

40 years now. I'd say off and on, barring a couple of marriages. But I always come back. Oh, my lands. I wouldn't know any other place to live.

[George Valentine]

None of us would all been here for years. With Captain Charlie, huh?

[Sadie]

Well, of course. Except that Yule. Naturally, he's recent.

[Brooksie]

We're all sort of has beens.

[Sadie]

But the captain, he keeps us all under his wing. He's a wonderful man. Generous, honest.

[Brooksie]

That was what you wanted to ask about, wasn't it?

[George Valentine]

Yeah, Captain Charlie.

[Sadie]

Ask anybody in the district about Captain Charlie.

[George Valentine]

Okay, okay.

[Sadie]

Nothing bad about anybody here, except for that bird.

[George Valentine]

Yeah, well, I better get him off that roof.

[Sadie]

Don't you bring him back in here. We'll have that thing sweet screaming at.

[George Valentine]

Oh, be quiet, Sadie. Somebody else trying to get him off that roof too. Very popular bird. No, no, stay there. I can make it around the ledge. Just stay in your room.

[Brooksie]

Easy.

[Richard Diamond]

I'll be up there and get you. Just a minute now. Keep the big crap shut, will you?

[George Valentine]

Less noise.

[Richard Diamond]

Now, that's the stuff.

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

Don't you know a seaman?

[Sadie]

Now we got your baby.

[George Valentine]

Would have been easier to climb up with a ladder.

[Captain Charlie]

What?

[George Valentine]

Bird watching society. You always chew tobacco when you go parrot hunting?

[Captain Charlie]

Beat it, will you, buddy?

[Announcer]

I don't want no trouble.

[George Valentine]

I don't blame you. Not on a slippery roof.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Stay out of it, Mac.

[George Valentine]

Hey, don't reach for that bird. I want to talk to you.

[Mr. Yule]

I ain't the type.

[George Valentine]

Stay where you are, I said.

[Mr. Yule]

Oh, still you black?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[George Valentine]

Now look what you did. That's the kitchen flu he's climbing into. Now I can all have fun getting him out.

[Captain Charlie]

Yeah, well, let him stay there.

[George Valentine]

Forget him. You're the one I want. There's a little matter of people dropping dead on Mac.

[Captain Charlie]

I had enough.

[Lieutenant Walt]

I don't want no trouble.

[Richard Diamond]

This is where I came.

[Announcer]

Here.

[George Valentine]

Don't try that.

[Johnson]

Hey, you.

[Richard Diamond]

So long, sucker.

[George Valentine]

Look out, you'll slip.

[Johnson]

Drop dead. Drop dead, Valentine. You're the one.

[George Valentine]

Oh, stop it, Johnson. Drink your coffee for everybody.

[Captain Charlie]

Here, folks. Help yourselves.

[Brooksie]

The seaman isn't dead, lieutenant. His skull wasn't fractured, so we gotta

[Johnson]

wait for hospital reports before we can get him to talk.

[George Valentine]

Johnson, for the 10th time, leave me alone, will you? Go solve your two murders. You checked all these people on when they last saw Limey?

[Johnson]

We checked and double checked and still haven't found anything.

[George Valentine]

Okay, then, leave me alone. I'll drink my coffee and think about it.

[Johnson]

Sure, first you pocket a hundred bucks and run. Then you find something but won't say what it is. Then you. Johnson, what kind of an idea did

[George Valentine]

that seaman give you?

[Johnson]

What you got up your sleeve?

[George Valentine]

I'll break up this picnic and maybe you'll find out.

[Johnson]

But you.

[George Valentine]

All right, all right, everybody get out of here.

[Johnson]

There's a genius working on a story. That's all for now.

[Lieutenant Walt]

Break it up.

[Richard Diamond]

Break it up,

[Brooksie]

George.

[George Valentine]

All right, they've gone now, so come here. Brace me, angel, and you can beat it.

[Brooksie]

George, get off of that Stone.

[Lieutenant Walt]

It's a big one.

[George Valentine]

Got a big ear, man. What, the flu? Hope he's all right and I can reach it. Oh, where are you, boy? Come on. Come on.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, brother.

[George Valentine]

Suit grease and cobwebs.

[Brooksie]

You mean he's been there all this time? The parrot?

[George Valentine]

I hope he's in here.

[Richard Diamond]

Hope I can reach him.

[Captain Charlie]

Sure.

[Johnson]

Here we go.

[Brooksie]

Oh, look at the poor thing.

[George Valentine]

Yeah, well, I'll clean him up a little. He'll be all right.

[Brooksie]

George. What are you going to do with him? I wouldn't touch that bird if it laid golden eggs.

[George Valentine]

All right, hold still now, Brooksy. Listen, we got to find out once and for all if this bird really does have anything to do with all the crazy stuff going on here.

[Brooksie]

Sure hard to convince.

[George Valentine]

Hey, hey, get off my coffee. If you're thirsty, boy, we'll get you a drink. Brooks, are you going to bar where Johnson is? Give me five minutes head start, then tell people I found the parrot and took off down the alley. This is the only way to find out, isn't it? To see who comes after me. The bird itself can't have any value, but maybe somebody thinks it does. It.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, Brooks, you know.

[George Valentine]

Look, just because everybody who's been around this long nosed chicken has got into trouble.

[Brooksie]

All right, I'll do it. There must be easier ways to find the end of a story.

[George Valentine]

Okay, bird, let's get some of the grease off your feathers. Bird of an omen, huh? Big mystery bird.

[Richard Diamond]

You like that?

[George Valentine]

Get yourself all stretched because in about five minutes we'll go outside and see if anybody meets us. We'll find out just how dangerous it is to hang on to you when you're, you know. Cut it out, would you?

[Richard Diamond]

What?

[George Valentine]

Hey, bird, snap out of it. What's the matter with you? Hey, Abner, Come on, boy.

[Richard Diamond]

Come on, then. There's something wrong, brother.

[George Valentine]

Dropped it, huh?

[Richard Diamond]

Coffee.

[Brooksie]

Coffee.

[Richard Diamond]

You took a drink of my coffee?

[George Valentine]

Rooksie Johnson.

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

John.

[Brooksie]

George, listen to me. Can't you hear me?

[Mr. Yule]

Here, here.

[Captain Charlie]

Slap him with a wet towel. Some more.

[Johnson]

I'll do it. I'll do it, Captain.

[Captain Charlie]

That stuff can't hurt him any.

[Johnson]

Get you and your crazy joint. Get out of here.

[Richard Diamond]

All right, all right. What you.

[George Valentine]

Will you all drink that stuff too.

[Brooksie]

George. Here. Now don't move. You told me five minutes. It was five minutes before anybody even started to look for you. Sure, sure, sure.

[George Valentine]

Just me, huh? Just my coffee.

[Johnson]

We're not all dead, huh, Valentine? I regret.

[George Valentine]

Never say, never mind.

[Richard Diamond]

I know.

[George Valentine]

I lost it up again.

[Johnson]

An old Fashioned knockout Drop.

[Richard Diamond]

They keep them behind the bar, naturally.

[Johnson]

The wood in this kind of a place.

[George Valentine]

Wait a minute. The bird.

[Brooksie]

He's all right, George.

[Johnson]

And making a lot more sense than you are.

[George Valentine]

Oh, Jay Johnson. Somebody dealt my coffee. Everybody had a chance. Everybody knew I was gonna be here alone. At least it proves that somebody right here, doesn't it?

[Johnson]

Eliminate the semen.

[Brooksie]

Yes, but why did this happen, George? We found you and the bird hadn't been touched.

[George Valentine]

Hey, did you move me?

[Richard Diamond]

What?

[Brooksie]

Here, I'll help you.

[Announcer]

No, no.

[George Valentine]

Don't touch me. It wasn't the bird they were after. It was me only.

[Richard Diamond]

Why me?

[George Valentine]

What have I got that they.

[Johnson]

That hundred bucks. Look in your pocket. See what was taken?

[Richard Diamond]

I thought I had it in this pocket.

[George Valentine]

The wallet's okay.

[Richard Diamond]

Everything else, 60, 70, 80, 90.

[George Valentine]

No, it's all there.

[Brooksie]

Nobody commit crimes just for that amount of money anyway.

[Johnson]

Oh, no, of course not. So get on your feet. We start all over at the beginning, Johnson.

[George Valentine]

I think better on the floor. You know, all this business could be awfully simple.

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

Sure.

[Johnson]

Hindus and parrots and sea captains.

[George Valentine]

This thing with me could be a mistake. Limey could just have fallen down the stairs. The first guy we already know is just slugged and rolled.

[Brooksie]

I think you'd better stand up, George.

[Narrator]

Okay.

[George Valentine]

Too far fetched, huh? But a desperate man might hope that's the way it'd go down.

[Johnson]

Like what man? Like.

[Richard Diamond]

Why?

[Johnson]

What are you talking about?

[George Valentine]

Captain Charlie's respectable, isn't he, Johnson? Honest and good with the police.

[Johnson]

That's right. For years.

[George Valentine]

The same goes for the people he's kept under his wing. Morton, Limey, Sadie. Sure, sure, sure.

[Johnson]

Charlie keeps the place clean, all right. Only what's that got to do.

[George Valentine]

Now, listen. A foreign sailor comes in with a parrot last night and all blazes breaks loose. Everybody's imagination dives off in seven directions.

[Johnson]

It isn't imagination that the bird was involved in every crime, though, is it? Here with you, with Limey. You took care of him with a sailor who brought him in.

[Captain Charlie]

Sure.

[George Valentine]

And you get so wound up you don't notice something else that was involved with everyone?

[Brooksie]

What, George?

[George Valentine]

The money that paid for the parrot.

[Announcer]

Huh?

[Johnson]

But you just said that dough in your pocket hadn't been touched.

[George Valentine]

I thought I had it in the other pocket, that's all. But suppose while I was out, suppose the reason I was dope was to get at that money and do something with it.

[Johnson]

Now, look, if it's there, it's there.

[George Valentine]

And that something was the last crime that needed to be done from Here on the mysteries could stop.

[Brooksie]

George, for heaven's sake, tell us.

[George Valentine]

Okay, angel, okay. Words of oneself. Suppose in this place one person isn't so respectable. Being fooling Charlie along with everybody else for years. And last night, Limey broke a door.

[Richard Diamond]

A lock.

[George Valentine]

Why would anybody lock a door around here?

[Johnson]

Incidentally, but who are you?

[George Valentine]

Because Charlie needed $25 more to make up the hundred the sailor wanted for his bird, remember? Well, I mean, he got it all right. He found it in Morton's room. Well, Johnson, from there on, 1, 2, 3. Wharton was mad, remember? But the sailor had already gone. Then the sailor was slugged and rolled. But if it was Morton, he couldn't find the money he wanted to get back.

[Brooksie]

George Limey didn't have any money.

[George Valentine]

Why me was a weasel. Suppose he got to asking Morton about that money he took. Suppose he caught on to what I'm catching onto. So Morton killed him, scared to death the discovery. Now with one accidental murder already to his credit. All right. Then came me. You want to bet I was dope so that 25 of that hundred could be replaced with a different 25?

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

Holy smokes.

[George Valentine]

Sure, that's right. Replace with genuine money.

[Brooksie]

George Martin's a printer, isn't he?

[George Valentine]

You got it. His press must be in the locked room. He printed menus, remember?

[Brooksie]

Green ones with pictures of Lincoln and Washington and people like that on.

[George Valentine]

That's the idea. And it explains everything. A counterfeiter trying to keep from being discovered.

[Johnson]

Well, come on, don't just stand there.

[Richard Diamond]

Martin.

[George Valentine]

Hey, Martin.

[Captain Charlie]

He was here just a second ago. He ran upstairs when you came out of the kitchen.

[Johnson]

There he goes.

[Captain Charlie]

Martin Scott.

[Sadie]

Sergeant.

[Captain Charlie]

Sergeant. Get in.

[George Valentine]

Holden. Angel. Let the police do the rest.

[Captain Charlie]

Hey, what's going on anyway? Look, ma'.

[Mr. Yule]

Am.

[Captain Charlie]

Ain't this a lovely bird? You know, someday I'm gonna get me a rubber plant and then.

[Brooksie]

Oh, but George, even if Morton did commit those crimes, it still doesn't explain everything. There's still that tobacco chewing seaman who fell off the roof in the par.

[George Valentine]

Hey, hey. You didn't start this story.

[Richard Diamond]

You did.

[George Valentine]

So stick around a minute and I'll give him the rest of it.

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

You're right, Brooksie. There are a lot of questions that start still need answering. So while George is getting his story straight, suppose we all give this story a listen.

[Mr. Yule]

Yes, he was a counterfeiter. I understand. All he wanted was to get his $25 back.

[Brooksie]

But the seaman, George. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[Mr. Yule]

A mysterious man chewing tobacco.

[George Valentine]

Well, I'll use a little logic. The sick, the foreigner who was so anxious to sell the bird in a hurry didn't speak English.

[Mr. Yule]

Yes, that made it all the more

[George Valentine]

where did his bird learn to say drop dead? Oh, and every clue Yule gave me about him suggested the obvious. The sick had stolen the bird was trying to sell quickly before the guy stole it from caught up with him.

[Brooksie]

You telephoned the hospital, huh?

[George Valentine]

Well, this might not be all clairvoyance, but sure, the seaman didn't want to get mixed up in any trouble, but he still wanted his bird back.

[Mr. Yule]

He and that's all there was to it.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, my beautiful romantic story of the

[Mr. Yule]

waterfront with all those strange characters.

[Brooksie]

Watch it, watch it. Don't get carried away again,

[Richard Diamond]

my beautiful story.

[Brooksie]

Anyway, cheer up, Mr. Yule. Maybe you could sell it to one of those mystery shows on the radio.

[Captain Charlie]

Sure.

[George Valentine]

Call it Drop Dead,

[Narrator (Let George Do It segment)]

Just in case we lost you somewhere along the way. George Valentine was played by Robert Bailey and Brooksie played by Virginia Gregg. David Victor and Jackson Gillis wrote the tale and Eddie Dunstetter played the music. Now this is yours truly inviting you to our next visit with Valentine, when you will again hear what happens when you Let George do it.

[Host]

Relicradio.com has more from Richard Diamond, Let George do it this podcast, all of the other podcasts and our shoutcast stream. And while you're there listening to all of that, if you'd like to help support this and all of the shows, if that donate button a click or one of the support links in the show notes or visit donate. Relicradio.com We've got some downloadable sets for certain donation amounts, though any amount is always appreciated and helpful. Thanks again to those who have helped out. Thanks for joining me this week. I'll be back again next Wednesday with another hour of Old Time Radio, Crime and Case Closed.